Personal Empowerment – Series 1 – Episode 3

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Edris Khamissa

Channel: Edris Khamissa

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Towards Higher Self-Esteem

Episode Transcript

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Welcome to the series on personal empowerment where the emphasis is on moving from where you are to where you want to be.

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The topic that's going to be discussed is self esteem. My presenters are Idris camisa, and chefs Abdullah Khan. Idris camisa, is an international consultant in education and development. His expertise is in staff development and curriculum design. His creativity made him a dynamic lecturer in didactics, and methodology at epsa, which is the International Peace University of South Africa. He also conducts in service training for business corporations. As a parenting expert in a marriage counselor. he conducts workshops on these topics. Youth Leadership is another area of his focus. He's a regular guest on National and Community Radio stations.

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Chefs Abdullah Khan is an internationally renowned lecturer and motivational speaker, who has presented papers at numerous Islamic and interfaith conferences in the following countries. Malaysia, Belgium, Nigeria, Egypt, USA, Iran, Botswana, Canada, Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka, Kuwait, Mexico, and Turkey. He is the director of empower development International. And as the motivational speaker. He addresses issues of personal empowerment, youth development, leadership training, the art of communication, and is also engaged in fostering interfaith and interfaith understanding, and cooperation.

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Now, I'm going to start off with the self esteem test that you're going to conduct for yourself. And I have quite a few questions here for which you're going to answer true or false.

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Question one, other people are not better off, or more fortunate than me, truffles here. Number two, I accept myself as I am. And I'm happy with myself. Number three, I enjoy socializing. Number four, I deserve love, and respect. Number five, I feel valued and needed. Number six, I don't need others to tell me, I have done a good job. Number seven, I can accept criticism without feeling put down. Number eight, I admit my mistakes openly and benign. I never hide my true feelings. And 10 I always speak up for myself and put my views across. Number 11. I don't worry what others think of my views. And finally, number 12. I don't need others approval to feel good 12 questions? Were you going to

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answer for me? either true or false? inshallah. All done? Read Idris, my first question to you.

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listener says, Yes, I have my results. I could have 12 true, or maybe eight and four? Or maybe I've got eight faults and just four true.

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What does that say about me? I found this self esteem tests, very instructive. In fact, in any workshop that we conduct, we often conduct this at the very beginning, when I failed this test, I gave myself 12 out of 12 true.

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Because self esteem is about you as an individual. It's not about what you own, but how handsome you think you are, or how beautiful you are.

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I can say with some conviction that often some of the wealthiest people have low self esteem. Some of the prettiest people in WooCommerce have low self esteem. It's not about those aspects in life. Now, you may very well ask me why they are some of you sitting there and may say, Well, no, no, I disagree with him. But what what I am prepared to do is to engage you with each of those responses and why you should have true and not false. And this is very important for us to understand that. I also want to reassure you, even though you might have had 12 faults now. You could change overnight. It's this requires an attitudinal change, and we will discuss the benefits of high self esteem will

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make you realize the importance

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Have it and how the whole world can open to you. It's about you.

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Okay, it is I'm going to come back to you a little bit later on where I'm going to pick on some of these items in the test. And we're going to discuss each one separately. But this leads me to ask, you know, we've spoken about self esteem, you've mentioned the word quite a few times, we did what's called a self esteem test. shiksa. doula, what is self esteem?

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In the name of Allah, most compassionate, Most Merciful. self esteem is actually related to your self worth, and your value. Now, sometimes, your value is different from what you assume your value to be.

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Very often you are not who you think you are. Very often you think less of yourself than you are. Or you think more of yourself than you are.

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And who you are, is not only a job, or your color, or your gender, or your religion is much more than that. It's combination of all those factors that make you uniquely you.

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It is about your strengths and your weaknesses, your attitudes, your behavior, your inclinations, your aspirations, all of these things put together is part of who you really are.

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So, the self in self esteem refers to the individual,

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the unique you.

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And the esteem Of course, estimation the value that you attach attached to that self.

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Sometimes as I mentioned, we overvalue ourselves or undervalue ourselves. And very often we live our lives in order to please other people as whether it is mentioned in the previous session.

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Your life is your life, live it appropriately, you can't live it independently, you live it interdependently with other people, for the rest of creation, or the rest of the world.

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But at the same time, sometimes we live our lives so much in order to please others not doing what needs to be done, not doing what is best for us. But rather, what is the perception? What are the perceptions of others regarding us? And they do we sometimes assume that people think more of us than than what we are really thinking of ourselves? Or are they thinking less of us in what they're thinking of ourselves, neither of that should affect our self esteem, who we are, is who we are, irrespective of how others assume or must assume us, our responsibility is to assure and to ensure that that self is always on the path of progress on the path of improvement on the road of

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excellence, doing what is best in any given situation. So self esteem, therefore, is related to your self worth, and your evaluation of yourself. And that's why in Islam, the notion of Maha Sabha of critical self evaluation is so important. Because I may be, I may be a kind person, to my neighbors, but I may be abusive towards my husband or my wife. I may be fulfilling my prayer on time, but I never pay my workers on time. So I can't be you can't call me punctual, because I'm five times in the Muslim time, as regards prayer. But as regards payment. So in other words, part of evaluating yourself is the consistency of your ethical and moral values. In fact, checks Allah, I want to add

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to your wonderful and elaborate discussion on self esteem. self esteem, in essence is really as Jake Sadler said, that you are a unique creation of Allah, you are unique. It is not therefore surprising that one of the praise, when you look at yourself in the mirror, goes to this effect Yala. You made me beautiful outside also make me beautiful inside. And the critical thing in life is this, that nobody can diminish you without your permission. Sometimes people say, Oh, I'm feeling very small. What happened? He spoke to me in this manner insulted me. I tell people, I'll give you a million dollars in Sultani you cannot insult me. And insult is not what happens to you. Rather how you

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respond to what happens to you. And what is an insult to someone else doesn't mean anything to another person. So we allow too many people to diminish us. Of course, the reasons why some people have low self esteem is often can be related to the home background. And we're not here to talk about those aspects. But when you come to a point in your life, you can change the negative self esteem to a side to a high self esteem and esteem in which you'll be able to unleash your potential and make a meaningful contribution to society and about having high self esteem. It's not about being perfect. It's about recognizing your flaws. You're recognizing your

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weaknesses. It's not about arrogance. arrogance, absolutely. It's about being positive. And in fact shakes out law. I wager. And I say this to you that I find people who have who are arrogant. In fact, they have low self esteem. control freaks have low self esteem bullies, bullies have low self esteem, that person that walks around as if his hoity toity walking and stupid height, eat it. And also hoity toity is a nose in the air, that person has a low self esteem. So there we are. Each person is unique. And I think now each one of us knows the meaning of self esteem through the discussion with Bradley Idris and chefs, Angela shakes, Angela, excellent introduction JazakAllah.

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Where

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it is we going back to the self esteem test. And I and I remember you earlier saying there's no right and wrong answer.

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You're going to elaborate on each one for me, please. The first question was, other people are not better off or more fortunate than me? And my answer, they would be true.

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Do you want to elaborate, please? Now the question is this, why should it be true? If you say other people better off than you, then what you are saying you're going to adopt a victim mentality, you're going to blame your circumstances and your environment. If you say for example, it is true, other people are not better off, that means you have taken ownership of your life. And that's a huge, huge difference. You find many people will look at themselves and realize this is the station they are at this present moment. And it is either you accept it passively, or do something about it. And those that have a victim mentality would blame everyone else would become a spectator in their

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own life. So it has to be false, that I am taking ownership of my life.

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I accept myself as I am, and I am happy with myself true or false. That should be true. Also, if you do not accept yourself as you are any person if your wife or your husband is telling you, my darling, I love you. And you think Am I worthy of that love? Why is he saying this to me because you'd not love yourself. And being a creation of Allah, you should be happy with who you are, in terms of your unique being, we're not talking about yourself spiritually, you're talking about those aspects is another matter altogether. We're looking at your elemental self. And that's very, very critical. You need to love yourself, I'm not looking at yourself in the sense of you know, looking

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at yourself in the mirror and say wow, Am I beautiful or what you know, the other person not so beautiful as I am. It's not about those aspects not about you having an ego and massaging your ego, because very important I find many people have marital problems have issues the children because they do not recognize who they are, do not love themselves enough and will become very suspicious. The next question was, I enjoy socializing. Now hear somebody might say, okay, it's not true and it's not false. I somewhere in between, yes, a person can be in between but it ought to be more advice this towards true. Our Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, there is no good in him will

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neither be friends or is befriended you being part of this humanity, it is your responsibility to engage with people, it's also your responsibility. When people want to become your friends, you respond to them positively. And you find that many instances Today, many people will go to a function and not interact with other people. And they sit there and it becomes a painful experience. It becomes spectators. So it is your responsibility and self esteem is also making conscious decisions. It's about you also embracing change. And we'll talk about this as you go along. Question four was, I deserve love and respect. Of course, all of us deserve love and respect. But it doesn't

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mean you sit and do nothing. Islam is what imperatives and once you do certain things, what will happen? People will say my gosh, you know, I love this man. I respect this person. And they are reasons they could cite reason as to why the love and respect you. In other words, Islam is about engagement. It's about being proactive. It's about doing things.

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The next question, I think is, you know, quite key in your test. And the question was, I feel valued and needed. Here, somebody might say, you know what, this is the key element to me having what is called a low self esteem. No part of life is this. As we said early on, you cannot for example, in your home, do nothing. You're not engaged. You're

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serve your child, and then say, I feel valued and needed, you can only feel valued and needed when you do things of value. And when you respond to other people in that way, you will have a sense of value. And your sense people will be, in a sense would need you. In other words, you've got to ask yourself this question. If I were to die now, would they miss me? Now they're not miss you, if you're a person who does nothing, for a person sits back the sense of entitlement. So it basically is about you engaging, but you make a difference to your life and the lives of other people. I don't need others to tell me I have done a good job. shamima This is also a very critical one in life. We

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like to be thanked by people. You want people to show gratitude. You want people to acknowledge us to accept us to affirm us. But that should not be your motivating factor. You should not be doing things because you want other people to praise you. You're also doing things inshallah, to be intrinsically motivated to please Allah. And that gives you tremendous joy. Now, if you are going to do it only to please other people. So the day they stop complimenting you, are you going to say, Well, I'm not doing it anymore. And I'm also reminded of something. This is incredible what a man can achieve. If he does not mean who gets the credit?

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Question seven was I can accept criticism without feeling put down. Wha wha wha I say that for one reason. People find it very, very difficult when people criticize you. Now, the word critical and criticize means, of course, you'd like people to also applaud you when you're doing good. But when a man criticizes you, many people find it very hard to bear. In fact, you should think such a person, because he is giving you feedback, objective feedback. You may not like the manner, you may not like him. But what is critical is a content. And they say if you're doing things for Allah, then you'll accept criticism. This is important. And the only way you can grow. For example, Sheikh Sadler,

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let's say you're spoken to 20,000 people 19,909 and people say, Wow, Jacque Sadler, you are incredible. You are really a gift to the oma. They say wonderful things. And actually we are human, we will embrace it. But one person comes to you and tell you,

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I have serious issues what you said, you can either reject him and say listen To hell with you. Or you can say brother, thank you for coming here. What is it, he might share with you one single thing that no one else has picked up. And that single thing can improve you can move you from mediocrity to excellence can move you from where you are to where you like to be. So it's important to accept criticism. The other important thing is this. If people know for example, that you are not a person who is receptive to criticism in the workplace or at home, and they will say we are wasting our time. He takes it personally in that way he does not even grow. So it is important for us to

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understand that feedback is important. And those that give you their critical feedback that show you exactly where you are, and what your weaknesses or concerns are. They are the ones that truly love you. Sometimes people misconstrue the issue for the personality. If I differ with even in argumentation or discussion, if I differ with you about a matter, and people sometimes have serious difference about a meta, the meta is independent of me. Whether you differ on a religious issue or something just fundamental to the faith but secondary. So you differ about it. It does not define my faith, it does not define our relationship. So what do you say sometimes the water is dirty in the

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babies in the bath water, you buy the baby in the water, throw the water out, don't throw the baby out. The issue is that of the water, not the baby itself. That's the one one thing second parties. Not all criticism may be valid, but it's worthy of being received. Why did that person understand in that particular way? Maybe he or she misunderstood it? Or maybe the other people are so accustomed to hearing you say what you are saying that they overlook being critical of the mistakes that you may be making. So criticism itself.

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Of course, there's a meta in doing it. Some people are very abusive in how they do it. But that's independent of the criticism itself is always worthy of being received and being analyzed. And therefore we can learn from criticism. We've learned much more from criticism than we learn from praise. Absolutely. And remember this, we must not allow anyone to erode our self esteem. And I remember one example, none of us is perfect. as you rightly indicated, I was once giving a talk and

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I was fortunate that the other keynote speaker was the Minister of Education in South Africa. And people listen, they listen to my talk. And many of them may say wonderful things about my talk. They wanted to ask me for my card, my address, they want to reengage me. One brother came to me and I recall this a brother, I disagree with you. I sit in brother before you disagree. What is your name? I said, Allah bless you. Allah bless you. And he told me why he disagreed. And you're right, I could have debated the issue. It was unimportant. It wasn't critical for me to give my retort. But I thanked him for it, because I like to believe he came there with sincerity of purpose. Now, this is

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the whole point about our life. What erodes our self esteem is that we allow petty things to occupy our mind, but life has a nobler reason for why we are here on this earth. And we allowed this pettiness to impinge on our hearts and our minds. Next question, I admit my mistakes openly Alhamdulillah once you do it, I mean, let us say a person comes to you say, oh, Sheikh Abdullah, I think you were wrong. In front of everyone. You say, Brother, you are right, I was wrong class is finished. You can sit there and debate about issues. Once you admit your mistakes openly. It helps you on your relationship, whereas saying it's a medical issue, you tell your wife or your husband,

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darling, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. class is over. Right. The other thing is, this is when you defending yourself, not admitting your mistakes. And as a result, this gets into argumentation and it creates an unnecessary problems. We have a case of this in the case of the time of the of the companions of the Prophet. Muhammad, he was a holiday, it was a killer for that time. And he gave a Hooda in Friday, Juma Hooda. And a lady got up and challenged him in the football. A lady got up in the mosque. And she challenging because he said something regarding inheritance, I think it was if I remember correctly, and she challenged him regarding that. A normal being on the member being on the

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pulpit itself, stepped down and stepped, pause for a while and said, because some people are upset like an organ, someone challenge the olive oil is he was a colleague of mine you and he stepped down and said, he said the woman is right and normal is wrong.

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And then he went in here to fight and he continued, but my point I'm making is that he was challenged. And the Juma was the woman in the last who asked him the question that define him what she thought was incorrect. I could have done two things, he could have responded and said, Look here, you misunderstood or rectified her. By the same time she felt and this is important. She felt the confidence

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and the right that she could do that. And she did it by the way, and it was a Juma time and you. So the important thing I'm trying to say is how the person react, the person reacted was nobility. And look, we remembering not the incident so much for the fifth point which he argued, but for his nobility of character, absolutely. What I want to add is this that we are fallible, we are going to make mistakes. When leaders for example, admit the mistakes openly or any person, you inspire confidence on the other person. In other words, people are happy to engage with you. Otherwise, you are perceived as in a part of staying in an ivory tower, and we cannot ever interact with you, it's

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very important for us to understand that

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question nine, I never hide my true feelings. Now, this is critical. When you hide your true feelings, what happens to the other person I mean, let us say you talk about marriage or your children or in any particular situation, that people do not know how to read you. And it is your feelings really, in a sense, shape, who you are. And when you are able to share your feelings about anything that is say you're non committal about anything and you suppress your feelings, then another person cannot get to know you. In fact, I know of situations in marriage, we our husband will complain or wife will complain. I never know what goes on in his heart and mind. He doesn't say

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anything. And when we express those thoughts, what happens? They say revealing is healing. It is cathartic. It is medicine, it purges you it's important for us to share your feelings with people. And naturally, they in some instances, depending on the situation is not good to share your feelings because the other person may be ultra sensitive. And you do not want to hurt such a person. So it's also important with whom you're talking about these things. But when it comes to your family members, people that you love people that you are together with partners in your business, or so on and so forth. It's important that you never hide your true feelings. In that way. What happens

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people can misconstrue your actions and results, they may suggest a solution that doesn't sit very well with you.

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Now there's difference between hiding feelings and expressing yourself. If you are angry about something or displeased, be honest about that. Some people feel guilty if I say something, you know, is the way you say something, even if you're angry, if you disagree. So some people have said, Oh, I assume I should be quiet, I shouldn't be assertive. Is that what you're saying? Then you'll be false. Never be false. The idea is to be honest, and true to yourself and to to others. So the idea is to be honest and open. And if you differ, don't hide the difference. If you disagree, don't hide the disagreement, rather, be open, but make sure the manner in which you convey it is appropriate.

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Question 10. I always speak up for myself and put my views across. It's very important. We find that today, in organizations or anywhere else, for that matter. I often say Sheikh Salah all of us need to have a view, what is your view on something? What is your opinion about something? Now those individuals that have a high self esteem, are never afraid to express the views. And of course, they express it in a manner that is dignified, without hurting the other person. And it's very, very critical. And even in the home environment, when children are able to express the feelings and the views, it has a really a wonderful effect on conversation, a wonderful effect on the positive ethos

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at home. So it's important, it's imperative that one needs to always speak up for themselves, because no one else is going to speak for you is important, you are important individual, and is very, very critical. you express it, but you don't express it at the point of hurting another person. The same time you don't say, Well, I express my opinion, I'm not prepared to listen to another person's opinion.

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Last to now, Christian 11. I don't worry what others think of my views. Now, if you are going to worry what other people think of your views, then you're not going to express it, that you're not going to express it. But it's critical you express it but how you express it. And that's even more important. As someone rightly said, he reminded me that you must use parting words, he said, a heart that is harder than rock can be made softer than silk with soft words. But a heart that is softer than silk can be made harder than rock by harsh words. It's about how what you say how you say it. And these are very critical things. And finally, I don't need others approval to feel good. And that

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is so vital. I think to me, that's key. In other words, you are saying basically, that your happiness depends on other people. Your happiness depends on the smile from your husband or from your children. I remember coming across the saying that happiness is self inflicted and not created by others. And as a result, we find that those depend on other people in their moods, their moods vacillate, it affects our mood. And I don't think life is all about that. I think, yes, we do get hurt when other people are unhappy, especially in primary relationship. But your happiness has come from who you are, what you think and how you respond to that person, you can be happy or sad. In a

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particular circumstance, there's different situation, but you have to be very being, you know, you may deal with an issue. But that doesn't define your entire life, you are a happy person.

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You're a positive person, at least. But how you deal even with the challenges of life, is to be positive about it even in a negative situation.

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That was our self esteem test. Maybe it's an idea to actually go back and read with the test and see now that each one's explained exactly where one stands. Have we moved from eight out of 12 to 12 out of 12 inshallah and effect I'm glad Sammy, my you made a reference to that. It just requires an attitudinal change. And I want each individual who did this test is to ask yourself why you said false is supposed to be true, why? Look at the underlying reason. And as we have been saying, confront it, and deal with it, and do not allow anyone to impinge on you. Do not allow anyone to erode your self esteem is to tackle it, and I promise you inshallah, once you're able to do these

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things, the world as we said, All becomes your oyster, you can make a huge difference.

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I think answering true or false will tell one, whether he or she has a high self esteem, or a low self esteem. Now I want to move on to low self esteem here. It is, what are the attributes of people with low self esteem? And how does this impact on the lives because it must cause some sort of problem in their in their lives. There are many attributes to people with low self esteem. The one is they are innocent.

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decisive. The second one, there are worries. The third one, they have a victim mentality. The fourth one, they do not embrace change. fifth one, they are inflexible. The other one is they are suspicious. The next one is they are not able to unleash the potential. The next one that we can add also, you find they are also very, very embittered human beings. Right. And the other one, the last one that I want to add to all of this year is that they seem to be perpetually said

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and very, very negative. These are some of the attributes and if you look at each one of them, and you can find each one of them will give you paralysis and will not take you from where you are to where you want to be.

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What then, are the attributes of people with high self esteem? People high self esteem, they have a generosity of spirit. They embrace change,

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they are decisive. They accept responsibility for they are forward looking, they are forward looking. They are visionaries, they want to make a difference. They recognize that they have both strengths. And they have concerns they are do with rather than sitting back and philosophizing and doing nothing, and they feel happy for other people. They are independent, but also interdependent. And they are also dependable. These are some of the attributes of a person high self can they generate a positive aura, always smiling, feeling positive. And even people come into the company, they feel empowered, rather than drained. Some people who come into the company, you feel drained.

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Some people you come in the in the company, you feel empowered, you feel refreshed.

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So the listener might say, look, I am a little bit indecisive. I do worry. I'm suspicious now and again, and I'm a bit inflexible. However, I do embrace change a little bit, and I try to make a little bit of a difference. And I am a doer, but not all the time. How does one improve his or her self esteem?

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Each one remembering Okay, these are my negatives? These are my positives, because I'm hoping they are both the negatives and positives in a person. How can I reduce the negatives, right? There's a very famous Native American, saying that within yourself. We are two forces constantly fighting two animals. They say two wolves they use within yourself, constantly fighting.

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There's the one of envy and hatred and negativity and suspicion, and the other one of generosity of spirit of kindness, of love of care, and so on and so forth. So these are both animals, they say within yourselves about dimensions within yourself. And they ask the question, which one will win? And you know which one will be the one you feed the most? So of course we have elements we have none of us are perfect. Remember? That's why we need change. If you are we if you all answer, correct everything all the time and have it 100% then we will be perfect human beings. And none of us are perfect except the divine. So the idea is how do we move how you move to increasing light from the

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from, from darkness through decreasing darkness to increasing light. It's a process, it is a process. The more we feed or the more we focus, the more we imbibe, the more we engage those positive elements generosity of spirit, kindness, compassion, love, positivity, the more we move towards a higher self esteem.

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The more we focus on the negativity, we live more as victims of circumstance. In fact, just to reinforce what Chuck Sadler just mentioned, someone said if you think you can, then you can, if you think you cannot, then you cannot. And also the philosopher or mathematician de cartes, said kognito soon, I think therefore I am is basically what is in your mind, the thoughts in your mind. These are very important things. And I want to shamima

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I would like really, each of the people who had f will have access to a CD and listen to it right now to repeat a few things after me some affirmations. Could I do that? shamima? Yes, certainly. I want them to say I I deserve

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To be happy,

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right, what needs to be the shake saddle and I deserve to be happy, right? I have the power to change myself, I have the power to change myself, I can forgive, I can forgive and understand others and understand others and their motives and their motives, I can make my own choices and decisions, I can make my own choices and decisions. I can choose happiness, whenever I wish. I can choose happiness, whenever I wish, no matter what my circumstances, irrespective of my circumstances, I am flexible, and flexible and open to change and open to change. I act with confidence, I act with confidence. And I have and I have a general plan, a general plan and accept, accept that plans or

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plans are open to alteration or open to alteration, it is enough to have done my best It is enough to have done my best I am indeed, I am indeed a unique creation of Allah, a unique creation of the Divine. And I want you and I want you to repeat this, to repeat this as I'm doing as I'm doing, I deserve, I deserve, I deserve, I deserve to be loved, to be loved, to be loved, to be loved to be loved. As long as I don't say I do

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Alhamdulillah I think that will actually be an apt conclusion it is. But chef de la I'm coming back to you here, we've got quite a bit on self esteem. We've understood now positive self esteem, negative self esteem. What are the higher life goals toward achieving a positive self esteem? I think the more we aspire towards something beyond ourselves, the greater the possibility of imbibing and manifesting self esteem to first of all, we need to realize that success and happiness on the outside is created by success and happiness on the inside. One of the ways of bringing about success and happiness.

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Besides aligning ourselves with the divine and with higher values and principles, and implementing them in our lives, is to impact our future, with the with making the best of the present, impacting our future by making the best of the present, and realize that life has purpose. life has meaning. My story is part of the larger story. History consists of the stories of people, some are more prominent than others, but mine contributes towards the story of the world. I'm not insignificant, I have a purpose in the larger plan. And part of the purpose. If we nobody sees the B, nobody sees the butterfly, but it wasn't for the pollination, there wouldn't be flowers, there wouldn't be honey,

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and so on and so forth. So very often, just because we don't notice it, in its fundamental stage, we still benefit from it from it in the end stage. So we eat the only women are we thankful some of us, but we need that honey, we need that B we need that butterfly to do so. So somewhere along the line, it played a role in what was necessary. Never forget that. We need to be consistent in our thoughts in our words and our deeds. We must have that compassion of caring, of loving of of embracing as allama Barton Yachty macam MLP Han Muhammad Fatiha Adam, jihad is in the garden in a Murdock Shashi you know, certainty of conviction,

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consistent action and an all conquering love. These are the armaments of the people who take on the struggle of life, then also the courage to be yourself to be what we said unique to build and establish relationships, fundamental relationships, and to value those relationships around us commit ourselves to do what is best in the best possible manner. In other words, a commitment towards excellence. And I think if we are able to do that, we are able to move on to those things that are fundamental to our well being and to enhance our self esteem in trying to work towards that. Sometimes we get caught up in this, the the technicalities of it, okay, so I'm gonna think

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positively about what think of higher things of higher values, engage yourself in those things that will outlive you, it will benefit beyond yourself. And in that way, you will find self esteem comes to those who engage in doing some things which are positive, a positive attitude, positive action, inshallah. good results. Jacque Sadler alum Villa, you shared with us, many, many excellent points. The point that also strikes me was you were just speaking a moment ago, is the fact that many people have this erroneous notion that my name must come out of the newspapers Okay, headline. But each one of us in our own way in our own humility, we can make a difference in fact, the person that has

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headline, home, the whole world looks at it who inspires you might be a better person is about line in terms of what you do in your humility. And that's very, very critical. And what we need to do as part of our growth, and often shared with people look at those who have made a difference and tried to emulate the Praiseworthy example. And that is that is fundamental. So I want you to be the person is never too late, no matter how old you are, to make a difference.

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So certainly, none of us are perfect. Improving ourselves, we could have come to a realization today that yes, it is a process. choices we make do certainly determine our future. And self esteem is relative to me, as I'm an individual, I'm a unique being. In this regard, I want to I think after your lovely little

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mantra that you wanted, chef's Angela to repeat after you I want to create a declaration to each of our listeners. And this is a declaration of my uniqueness.

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I wonder at my unique being, I am a once of happening in this universe, that will never recur. I love value, celebrate, and own everything about me. I love and care for my body which carries every aspect of me. I will nurture, exercise, rest, and accept every aspect of my body. I do not want my body to be like anybody else's. I love value and wonder at the limitless capacity of my mind. I own my mistakes and failures. And realize these do not in any way, take away from my wondrous capacity. I see mistakes and failures purely as opportunities for further learning. I enjoy my achievements and successes, but do not hold on to any of them. As indicators of my worth. My worth and value are

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independent of all my actions. I strongly distinguish between my being and my behavior. I am unconditional in my regard for myself and others. No action on the path of myself or others takes away from my worth, value and uniqueness. I own and take responsibility for all my thoughts, images, ambitions, words and actions, whether they be of a positive or negative nature, and whether they be towards others, or myself. There are many things I have done or may do that I may regret or will regret. But I'm determined to grow from these experiences and learn to love myself and others more deeply every day. I will be honest and open about behavior that is distressful to me, but in a way

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that does not put the other person down. Equally, I will be open and listen to what others have to say to me about what behaviors of mine they find distressful and I will take responsibility for any neglect or hurt I may have caused,

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no matter what happens, I will not cease to care for myself or others. I know I have immense abilities to grow and develop in this world. I can touch, see, feel, hear, think, imagine, say and do. I can be deeply close to others. I can be productive, I can make sense and meaning of what often seems and uncaring and cruel world. I will always remain true to my uniqueness and not allow others to impose artificial goals upon me. I am unique. And once I remain in position of my wondrous being, I can create a better world for me and others

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with brother Idris camisa and chefs Angela, I shall be McCaffrey. Thank you

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and I bid you was Salam