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Islamic Manners – Episode 03

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Ali Albarghouthi

Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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No matter who wins, you know when it's still futile, we know that we love him and Julian fusina sejati Imani naamyaa de la llamada de

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la de la, La ilaha illallah wa, ala Muhammad Abdul Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sahbihi wa was lm.

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So we stopped last time

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and the rights of those who are older than us. So it was in the Arabic text point number 16.

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So it says Arabic aviary. otra haka is is recognize the respect that is due to those who are all in the new for either Machito versus an Yemeni him with Iran who Baldacci so he says, If you walk with someone who's older than you what he says to the right with Iran who bother Shay, that is, a steps behind him are you don't really need to be steps behind the person, but don't walk in front of them. If they are older than you, then you always give them the respect of not walking in front of them right beside them or behind them, right, depending on the circumstances. However, either the Hult alhaja faculty, Monica de Holywell, who wrote, and he says, If you enter, and if you exit, give them

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the preference of entering first, or leaving first. So give them that. So here is one of the one of the adapt. Is that a group of people they gather in front of a door?

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Where do you begin? Do you begin with the right? Or do you begin with the older, right? So a group of people, a group of friends, leaving the masjid coming into the masjid 2345 people are together, and now we want to exit or enter? Do you begin with the right or you begin with the older among the crowd? So this is exactly like the other messala. The other issue that we discussed last time, as if you are going to serve your guests? Do you begin with the right? Or you begin with the older? Or if you're going after you say Salaam and you had a handshake, each one individually? Do you seek the older person and you begin with them? Or do you begin with the right? So he said with that there are

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two opinions, one that says begin with the right and the other one, seek the older, same thing, we're in front of a door act to exit or to leave, do you begin with the right or to begin with the elder, older, so there is no specific sooner, explicit, specific sooner from a social life or the law, he was telling me about that. But there are principles, and we'll see some evidence for them, there are principles, either the principle of the moon, giving the right the preference, because the sort of life of a law, he was telling us to prefer the right with honorable things. So either you apply that general principle and you say it covers that. So whenever you're standing in front of a

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door, you begin with the right, or you apply the other principle, just like with the other method, alright, the other principle of kept bid Kabir, we'll see the evidence here cupboard cabinet, seek the older seek the older so that if there's a crowd, you will seek the older and you allow the older to exit or enter first as a sign of respect. So it could be this, or it could be that.

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And it's definitely the case, if you're the one who's standing on the right, you can give up the right to enter or exit first, for the sake of those who are older than you, you can give up that right. And that if it is your right, you can give up that ride. There's evidence for it, especially especially if that person is your parent, to give them to the right first, especially if the person is your parent or your teacher.

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If they're older, they deserve that respect regardless, but especially if they are a parent, or a teacher, you allow them to enter first or exit first. Unless of course, there's a reason for you to enter an exit first, meaning that you want to open the door for them or hold the door for them. And so that's part of respect and that's part of the service. But otherwise, the respect dictates that you allow them at least offer that you exit first our you enter first. And there's an author from

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Rahim Allah, that he was walking with someone when they came to the door, they tried to decide first who was older, so that person would be allowed to enter first. So you can apply this or you can apply that Willow Adam

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now and he says, you know, and if if you meet him, give him the honor that he needs. And if you listen to him, or if you talk to him, let the one who's older than you speak first until they're done. And then you interject and you say what you want to say. So some of the Heidi here and Charlotte some of the evidence will will teach us

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sublime and refined and up and up in Islam is. So he says that two brothers came to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam to talk to him and there was one of them older than the other. So they wanted to speak. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said Kabir Kabir, like the older lead the older so that's the general principle that we talked about, get bid compare meaning observe the rights that belong to those who are older than you and give them the first right to speak to enter to eat whatever it is right so kept that cupboard there is a general principle in Islam to honor those who are older by giving them the right

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he says also in another headache This is in point number 17. He says that a bunch of

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young adults came to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam or Juana Lucia Baba young adults matakauri boon of closer age, are ages close to each other. So is this Falcon nine, Ashley and Elena we spent 20 nights with the Prophet sallallahu wasallam meaning that they were learning and asking questions and all of that. Hello acana sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Rahim and Rafi

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so here's a panel. I mean, they spent 20 nights with a prophet SAW a lot he was alone. And they notice something about him. It is He was merciful and kind

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and very attentive to what people need and what they are experiencing and what they could be missing. very observant. So he said that he was very kind and very merciful

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with us, for one naka de Sha either Alina so he assumed rightly so he assumed that we are missing our families. They were young, and they spent already with him 20 nights for Elena and mandarina Medellin so he asked us about our families and we told him, so he sets a lot he sent him now he kind of understood that they did actually miss their families. Tyler is generally that honeycomb, he says Go back to your family's fathima feed him what Allah Muhammad Muhammad says, live among them and teach them and command them to do what is good enough to avoid evil either whether it is Salah, for you at the nakoma hadoken is just one solid time comes that one of you call the

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What do your own local acabado come and let the older among you do what do your Eman Now why did he sallallahu wasallam not say the one who knows for under most or no sooner most? Because all of them are what have the same level of knowledge. Exactly all of them came together. And they studied together nobody stood out to have understood or have memorized more than the other person. So when it comes to knowledge of the Quran, knowledge of the Sunnah, they're all the same. So if everybody is the same, so what is the third criterion that would qualify a person to lead

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a keeper? That is how old he is. So that's the criterion. So who is going to be the man the one who knows the Quran more, if not the one who knows the Quran more than the person who knows the sinner more than if not the one who knows us know more than the one who's older. Right? So that's also part of the honor and how you would select an Imam.

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And it says here in this under the same point number 17.

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called the UI Allah Rahim Allah. He says he was telling somebody while he was walking with Him either either ma[???]a oddly Wiener Tim Shimon he says when you walk in with someone that you highly respect, I think of a teacher, the holly respect. Where do you stand where do you Where will you position ba when you are walking with Him? Hold to that address. As I said, I do not know how the Yemeni he is as you stand to his right to leave a home apartment in Miami fistula he says you consider him as an Imam in the Salah. And you are to be walked into his right what to hi Lila hi Jenny. Well I saw and so and you will leave the right right side of his empty for you're all done

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yes 10 00 us either either Jehovah God will I sorry. So if you want it to spit or to do something right to blow his nose, he would do it to the left. But Subhanallah that's a kind of a nice observation. That is if someone that you honor and respect and you're walking with them what are you going to walk is this to be more Muhammad Iam you consider him to be an Imam and you want to his right. So it's a panel a disposition in the Salah itself as if it has implications beyond the Salah. right as you choose for instance, this person to be in salah and if you're not the only person with him you'll be standing to his right. If he's a virtuous person older than you, then you consider him

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as if it's an Imam and that is you know, we can say that's part of the Edit again no particular sin about that. But that is part of the

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no and he says in point number 18 academic kaviraj was perfectly fit the fit with the cream. He says he give the older

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And the more virtuous the person of honor, the opportunity to be first. So let them be first. When you serve them.

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Let them be first when they when you want to eat, if you invite people invite the person who is older, the person who is virtuous, the person who is you know, most respected to be the first person to eat the first person to start that meal.

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And, and he says here, a Hadith, he says, Good Neva dorena This is a part of the edit with Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam. He says, if we were invited to accompany the Prophet, or with the prophets, or lollywood, send them to a food limonada Idina, we would not touch the food until the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would touch the food first. So all of them are invited. And with that is the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he would not we would not stop eating until we do what until he sallallahu wasallam eats. So that teaches you that that type of add up, of course the prophets Allah wa sallam is the word most worthy of respect, more than your parents and my parents,

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more than your teacher and my teachers, but then you can extend this to who to every other person who's older than you who deserves respect. So for instance, you know,

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a meal is served, dinner and lunch, and you're sitting with your parents, part of the job is what not to eat until they, unless they insist on you know, go ahead and eat. And they want that from you. And you know, that pleases them. You go ahead and eat. But if everybody's supposed to eat, you don't eat until what they eat. And if you're inviting a guest, same thing,

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you don't start eating until they eat. So that's also part of the edit your teacher the same thing. You don't start eating until he eats or if your teacher is a female and you're female, you don't start eating until she eats.

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Now I'm going on into into into more evidence your coma only Coachella Nikita Bella. So here are the criteria. And again, it says the one who is more worthy of being the Imam of Korra home Nikita Villa, the one who knows the book of Allah as the origin the most and the best among them. He's the one who deserves to be an Imam, if they are all the same in this, in this, let's call knowledge of the Quran. For Allah Mohammed is sooner than the one who knows the sooner the most they encounter as soon as Allah so in that type of knowledge, they're all the same for them whom hegira the one who migrated the first the oldest, the one who migrated. And he has spent most of his life in migration,

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for in candle fill, he did it so what if all done migrated the same for them whom sinner right demo whom sin, the oldest, the oldest. So now for us, for most of us, right? There is no hegira

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there is no hijra. But for instance, you can consider that the person who accepted Islam and there are a couple of people are accepted Islam, that would work the same. So the person who knows the Quran the most than the one who knows the sooner the most than the person who migrated first or if not migrated First, the one who accepted Islam first. And if not, then the oldest. So you go 123 and four, since the stand that age is a legitimate criterion for deciding such a position. So of course, it should also decide how we respect and how we treat others. And also he said sallallahu alayhi wa sallam legally named even chrome will allow me one new Ha. He said in the Salah, love those who will

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be behind me or will allow me one know how the people of minds and wisdom, the people of intelligence and wisdom, so my Latina Luna home, then those who follow that, and then those who follow that, so he says a lot he was silom you know, in honor also even in how we position ourselves in the Salah, right behind the Prophet sallallahu wasallam he wanted the wise and the intelligent and the virtuous.

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And of course think about it what is the advantage of having those people behind the Imam?

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What is the advantage of having those people behind the email?

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In case right, the Imam right, let's say for instance invalidates his will do or you cannot continue the Salah, you cannot just simply continue with Allah, he can switch and he can switch easily with them. Right? Or the Imam needs to be corrected in his Salah. Either in when he's reciting or what he has done. They know what to do and how to correct it. So those are those are the most qualified, know that this is necessarily mean the oldest that you could be young, but you have that knowledge, right? But you're also more likely to accumulate it through age if you are learning. So that's why also age

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is an important criterion.

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And

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here are some of the evidence whether it's, you know, directly related or not, but we'll mention it in insha Allah He says, The Sol salatu wa sallam can ajumma albina radula name and he says in the battle when people when Muslims, many Muslims were martyred, and it was not easy to bury them to dedicate a grave to each one of them, so the Prophet sallallahu Sallam would gather two of them in one grave. Peter denwa, head to Morocco, Morocco, Koran, which of them knows more of the Koran, fairy though Sheila either hiding him aka demo villa. So they say this person knows more, he puts him first in that

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in that side grave that I had in the side, so you dig the grave, and then you dig to the side, that's the law. So he puts that person first in the lab. So it tells you that the person who memorizes the Quran Subhan Allah, that honor follows you all the way to the grief. So how to decide that's how to decide to that person would be worthy of being an Imam. So he goes first. Same thing in what when you bury them, same thing when you bury them.

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This is a

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hadith where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam saw in a dream he saw doniphan Magnum after several cuwbc work. So I saw in a dream that I will using the sewak to clean my teeth for Gianni ulladulla and huduma borromini Aha. So So two men came to me, one is older than the other. So I gave this talk to the younger 40 that he kept there. So I was told no seek the older for the fact to who elected him in home so I gave it to the one who's older. So that is a dream from the Prophet sallallahu wasallam but and it was instruction. That is this incident where he was giving it to the younger, he gave it to the younger son a lot It was a glimpse of that he could hear no give it to the older so begin

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with the older again to emphasize what the respect that is due to those who are older than us.

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And there's this hadith here.

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Now in imagery the image Lila hater Allah this Hadith, that says that part of glorifying Allah, part of the veneration and respect that is due to Allah azzawajal is to respect some people see here, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam is saying that when you get to venerate Allah intermediary law and the original is this honor, mixed with fear mixed with respect this is not so generic law as the origin part of it is also to honor a few or specific people on the face of this earth that have the following qualities. The shaybah to Muslim the Muslim with gray hair, the Muslim with gray hair. Well Jaime little for an The one who is of the P of the people of the Horan. He has the Quran with

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him. They really fee The one who is not extreme in it. What Jaffe and who who did not abandon it? Okay, but he's walking the middle path with the Koran will try to explain it way crumb this whole time. And to also honor the just ruler, the just governor that just prints the just King, who are just so why is this part of a genetic part of respecting and venerating and glorifying Allah as origin? Now, why do you honor the Muslim with the gray hair? You tell me? Why is it important to honor them? Or why do we honor them? What did they do to deserve that honor?

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It's part of respect to definitely right. And if you don't respect those who are older, they'll be offended. Any one of us. Okay, if you have someone younger than you, you don't have to be old. I don't know what age you would consider it. What I'm old now. But

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even if you're in your 20s, right, and somebody in his teens and he does not respect you, you'd be offended by it. So that's part of it, right? But what a why also do we respect the one who has gray hair,

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looking for edger and reward and we also recognize that that person has lived so long,

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obedient to Allah zodion Muslim holding on to Islam, can he that gray hair, but that you see means what many years being Muslim, many years worshipping Allah as origin many years obeying Him, even if the person sends and does this and that but you still hold that held to the truth. That's respect.

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You're not been tempted yet behind the law. That's respect. So that's why you do this. The second person is high middle for an early fee. So the carrier

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The haoran are the people of the haoran, who did not go to either extreme one who did not abandon it, and either memorize it and abandon it, how would you abandon the Quran by abandoning its application, and you know it, but you don't follow it. That's Jaffe, or you know it, and you don't understand it. That's also Jaffe, or you know it, and you don't recite it. That's also Jaffe so you do not abandon it. And also you're not going to an extreme in it, I would highly fee going to an extreme minute is what everyone says they could say as a side an example a person who is extreme in its pronunciation. Extreme for instance, and it's the tweet focuses on the external, the external

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applications rather than the internal applications of the Quran, the lessons of the Quran. So they're very extreme about very specific minute things, not about the bigger picture, not about the message of the Quran itself. So they say that's an example of being extreme in the Quran, hello, Adam, there might be also other example. And this Sultan in most said, The just ruler, of course, he respects or deserves a respect. Because the benefit that that person brings from being the halifa, okay, all the way to being a minister or a prince, all the way to be a mayor of a place if he is just, he spreads a lot of good and protects people from a lot of harm and for that, he deserves

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respect, and he deserves to be honored.

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And then when you honor that person, in fact, you stabilize society. When you honor that person that just ruler you stabilize society, and when you honor the other two, you stabilize the society as a as well.

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The following headings though it is weak, but

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the meaning of it is accurate, so we'll mention it inshallah, it is said that I shall have the Allahu anhu once a beggar passed by and she gave him a piece of bread. And he continued moving, and another person passed by, and he was well dressed, though he seemed to be poor or is in need, but he was well dressed. So he asked him to sit and she sent food to him. For Kayla haffi Derek, so they asked her about this like why the different treatment? One, you just gave him the food and he just continued to walk. He didn't ask him to sit the other person who had better clothes on you asked him to sit and eat for pilot pilot are sort of lies a lot is that she said that the messenger sallallahu

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wasallam said and Zulu NASA men asila han treat people in proportion to their station. Now this howdy is weak, but they say the meaning of it is accurate manner. Sahih Bukhari this week said like that incident, okay, the chain does not support that this particular thing happened but the meaning of that last part, NZ una semana Zilla home treat people according or in proportion to their station is accurate. That is if a person is respected in his society respected in this community. Typically he expects what respect wherever he goes, where a person who is not used to that he doesn't care about whether you receive special treatment or not. So how you receive a person depends a lot on how

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they've lived, and where they come from, you can treat everybody the same if that treatment for this person is going to be considered an insult

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with me, yeah. And imagine, you know, imagine, you know, for instance, a politician arriving I don't know, from whatever country and he's expecting that when he arrives, how do you treat him with a lot of respect and dignitaries and offering this an offering that if you did not receive that respect, what is he consider?

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That is an insult. I just said, like diplomatic insult, Mike, because that's what's expected from him. So here's That's the meaning of this particular thing. And zero, NASA might consider Who is this person and treat them accordingly. Because if you don't understand how to treat them, you will miss treat and you will offend. So that's why in that particular story, When she saw somebody who was simply was not rich, or was not a person of

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importance and significance in society, she gave him something she gave him food, right. And that is enough for him. And he continued to work for the other person, giving him that that food and asking him to leave would be considered what a mistreatment, an insult, binocular mistreatment. So you wanna honor that person by giving them what they are used to, and giving them what they need. So NZ Lu nasm. And as Allah Subhana Allah is the same thing. If you just keep that in mind treat poor people in proportion to their

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air station in life, you're not going to treat the old, like the young,

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you don't begin to treat the person of status like the person who does not have that status.

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The person of knowledge, like the person does not have knowledge. So treatment is not going to be the same, although that at the basic level, there's kindness and mercy with everybody. There's respect with everybody. But there's extra with people who need extra, right? So it's clear and shallow.

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Another evidence here is that

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somewhat ignorant of the Allahu anhu upon so he says, I was a young boy at the time of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he was sitting beside him for half an hour and who I used to memorize and learn from him. For my him not only middle of holy Illa and the hoonah region in Houma syndrome in new home as a nominee, he says, the only thing that stops me from talking is that there are people around the Prophet sallallahu Sallam were older than me.

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So that tells you that he had that sense of the Allahu anhu, my young age that they are older, so I'm not going to speak because out of respect out of deference for them, right? same example that came the famous Hadith woman, Omar, while the low and when the Prophet sallallaahu, Selim asked him a question. And he knew the answer, but he didn't speak because other people who are older or present, so that's also part of the Edit. Of course, it doesn't mean that you are insolent if you speak, right doesn't mean that you're insolent if your speaker is a model of the law. I know when he knew about it, he said I would have liked for you to speak. Right? It doesn't mean that. But that if

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you find an opportunity, that is if somebody asks a question, or they're thinking about an idea or thinking about Hadeeth, and you're the youngest,

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don't be the first to answer

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seems a few showing off or whatever and you want to be like,

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surely I need to put them down by saying, you see how much I you know, compared to you, and I'm better than you don't be the first to speak.

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But it'd be and see if they know. And if somebody knows that sytel hamdulillah? If you've done that no one knows the answer. Nobody knows this. Nobody knows this Hadith, and they need it. I speak as I think I know, could be this, I think I know it could be that, then it would be appreciated. Why? Because he didn't rush and he gave them the opportunity to consider and to answer. And then when nobody knows. And now you offer what you have. And of course, the way that you speak, if say they say something, for instance, and you're sitting among those who are older than you. And you In fact, you could know a lot more than them, maybe don't present the knowledge that you have as a challenge.

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Oh, no, no, you're wrong. This is what it is. Because guess what? If you're younger, and you're presented that way, will it be accepted?

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You're going to turn people away, they're going to run away from you. They're gonna hate what you say. Because you presented in a way to challenge them. Nobody wants to be challenged, especially if you're younger. But if you consider it as, Oh, I heard from the Imam, it's not like me, right? I heard from the Imam in the masjid. Don't lie, right? should be something or it was in this book that so and so said, or our teacher said, this, this, this, this or they will take it from you. Because the objective is not to show yourself off as I know, on you don't know, the objective is I want to convey what I know to other people so that they would learn. So there's an edit in teaching,

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especially when you're younger. advising those who are older, there's always an edit and are always recognize that there is this Eagle.

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If you don't if you don't realize it, just consider if someone who is even younger than you comes in tells you what to do and what not to do. That's difficult to accept. So consider that anyone who's older than you, especially what your parents,

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your parents will it was easy for your parents to accept anything you say?

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No, it's not easy. So you have also to sort of handle like to present it in a way that is appealing. So and So said this Imam said this book said support whatever you are saying and presented in a very lovable way, very respectful way, and then they will know

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they will take it.

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This is one of the evidence here.

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Here this is point

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we're still the same point. I think

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one of the evidence here is that

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once the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was brought a drink, and he drank from it and he had people sitting to his right and people to sitting to his left. So on his right was a hula, young boy. And to his left were older men. So the sooner is to start were with the right so he asks a lot of us alum dad, young boy

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Definitely and also how Allah is do you permit me? Do you allow me to give those to my left? for Canada rasulillah Honda Filipino Cb minca Haida, he says yeah, oh no oh prophet of Allah. I'll never allow anybody to take that portion

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that has touched your mouth right and be no Cb minca that is I will never sacrifice my portion from you, my portion from you because my mouth would be the first mouth to follow your mouth. I'm going to be drinking some of the water that had touched your mouth, right? So this is I will not sacrifice that and give it to anybody else. So the prophets are the Salem gave it to him. As you consider how beautiful all of this is. It begins with what the other the who the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

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He didn't say, Take, boy,

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shut up and listen. Right? Know. He said what? He asked for his permission. He says, do you allow me? So consider some Hanalei. No, that does not demeaning at all, for you to be humble. It elevates you in people's eye. So the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is asking a younger man or a young adult or little boy than Lee, it says, do you allow me to give to them? Now why did he not simply subtly or seldom give it to him? And ask for the permission to give it to the older men?

00:31:28--> 00:31:33

Because if he did that those ones may be offended.

00:31:35--> 00:32:14

They may interpreted wrongly why he gave it to them? Is this something wrong with us? Don't we deserve it first. So the prophets of Allah who sent them was all one. So we wanted to do what to teach them that the law right belongs to him, not to you. But here, I'm asking him, because I also want to give it to you. So none of them is going to be what upset. This is how tactful you can be. So here, the boy is not going to be accepted. And they are not going to be accepted because they know that it's not up to the Prophet sallallahu sallam, but it's a matter of following the sooner the sooner says the right. So he goes to this one, and he says, Can I give it to them? And then that

00:32:14--> 00:32:27

boys love for the Prophet sallallahu wasallam says, No, I want that. Okay, I'm not going to sacrifice that. So I want that to myself, and he rightly deserves it. So the prophets Allah send them gave it to him.

00:32:28--> 00:32:45

And Subhana light you can see here, their love for the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and why not? When they see him acting this way. Why not? Right that that incident, I bet you end that incident stayed with that boy for the rest of his life. When the prophet SAW him and asked him something like this.

00:32:49--> 00:32:52

This is point number 19. Moving on to the parents,

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he says are either Bama Arabic, omega FM and more or ISIS consider okay and fulfill respect

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and have the utmost respect when it comes to your father and mother, because they deserve the best of it, and most of your respect, and your best unkind treatment. And we know this hadith

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where someone comes from the messengers of lollywood syndrome, and he says man ohakune Naseby Hosni sabeti, who is the one who deserves my good company, my good treatment, who is the one who is most worthy of treatment, good treatment, so he sets a lot he will sell them all mocha, mocha, mocha from Abu Qatada. Naka, he says your mother, your mother, your mother and your father, and those who are closest to you after them. So it tells you that the one who deserves your greatest kindness is your mother. And then followed by your father and then followed by who?

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Family right followed by the rest of the family.

00:34:02--> 00:34:28

And what are your are the Allahu anhu he say this is authentic or Judah nim, Shiva yet they are a jewel. So he saw a man walking in front of another man or man walk in front of him a man. He says, What is your relation to him? He says, This is my father. He says for let them Shiva in a day. He says don't walk in front of him. What he does do not sit until he sits while at an obese man Do not call him by his name.

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And this is authentic to Abu hurayrah right. So consider the Adam here. What is the Adam? He says he saw a man walk in front of another he says Who are you Who is this man to you? He says my father meaning that of what I saw mistake and he was gonna correct it. He says if he is your father, for that time, she beignet they don't walk in front of them.

00:34:50--> 00:34:59

Right. So when who is walking where do you walk right beside? If there is no room behind but never in front? Unless versus an exception could be what is

00:35:00--> 00:35:39

You know the road is dangerous, the path is dangerous. Are you clearing clearing the road for him, then there's an advantage there but otherwise never in front of you in front. What I did is I had the ageless do not sit until he sits. Same thing for the mother by the way. We're talking about the father who saved saving them about the mother don't walk in front of your mother. Do not sit until she sits dinner table. Unless you know she wants you to sit first because she wants you to eat. She's serving as you're doing this and that that pleases her then sit but you're going for instance and you're sitting in a car you're sitting for instance, you know, you're being invited you don't

00:35:39--> 00:35:39

sit

00:35:41--> 00:35:49

until she sits you don't sit until your father sits and then you find the place and you sit you make sure you make sure that they're comfortable first and then you sit down

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and you don't walk around rude don't walk in front of them and you can call them by their name. Okay, father mother, the best title but never by their name and another by something of course that they would hate.

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And he says here let's see if

00:36:16--> 00:36:54

he quotes if not a little better. This is point number 20 quotes If not, they'll borrow him alive the scholars of the Maliki scholars and he says will be ruled by the de facto nasm he says and kindness to the parents is a must indeed is a must. And it is easy for those who Allah had made this easy he's going to mention you know, some some of these adapt, have a little gentle he being humble with them. A lot as of Jun says Wofford. lahoma Jenna had eliminar, Rama lower that wing of humility to them, meaning as if it's your bird, and you have these wings and you're lowering your wings to them that's you know, outmost humility

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in attitude and speech and how you look to them and add them and all of that you're exhibiting humility, and treating them and how you call them and how you respond to their call. So he says he will he will kill me softness when you speak. Well I am Dora Hema in Libya, in in Mahabharata in general he only looks at them

00:37:16--> 00:37:28

exhibiting love and respect. The way you look at them the way that you respond to them. You exhibit love and respect. What are y'all doing him a FEMA call he does not raise his voice above. There's

00:37:30--> 00:37:46

not like if they scream at you, you scream back and I know sometimes we just lose control, I understand. But as soon as you realize what you have done, you go back to this adverb, and never raise your voice about their voice, their voice and never yell at them.

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Even if they are yelling at you. And at the end there he will mention that their rights I also on the parents to help their children be kind to them. But no matter what they do, never to raise their voice above their voice and never to yell at them. And you read a smart home except he says if you want if they are far and you want them to hear what you're saying, then you raise your voice way up. So to idea Homer Feeny is on he allows them free rein in whatever he has.

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Meaning that in whatever he possesses, this is my fridge, open it and whatever you want. You want money, my money is your money. Right? So he says he allows them to take whatever they need from him. What I stated earlier him if he bought me what I should have, he does not become stingy when it comes to his food and drink and he says mine, but not yours. He says this is all yours, take whatever you want from it. And he says he does not walk ahead of his father when he walks with him. And he does not speak before his father speaks. If they're in a gathering, he does not speak before his father speak. If he may Allah Moreno obey Him in Houma, y de la casa who may be God and he says

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he avoids angering them as much as possible. ySr famous ottima be mapillary Takata and he tries to make them happy as much as he can. How do you make your parents happy?

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Let's take few examples. How do you make your parents happy?

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I heard something there.

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Respect and obey listen to them. Listen to them. That's the first thing that you do. As long as what they're commanding you is not haraam. You listen to them and only listen to them listen and rush to fulfill what they want from you. They asked you to do something, leave what you have. Right leave what you haven't tried to do it. Yeah. And he within within, you know, reason, within reason, of course. So leave what you have, and try to fulfill what they want. So that's one thing.

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Any other way?

00:39:51--> 00:39:51

Yeah.

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Doing good in school. Yeah. So if the love that you would be good at school, then you study hard so that you do good at school.

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So that they will be happy with you. So you consider, okay, what is it the things that they would want me to do? And you do that. So for instance, if you play games and they hate that, they don't play as much. Do you know that they hate it? If they'd like you'd like it to be physically active, then be physically active. If they like you not to fight with your brother and fighting with your sister, then don't fight with them, because you know that that is going to upset them. So you don't do it. So you consider what are the things that upset them? Okay, I'm not gonna do it. What are the things that make them happy? I'm going to do that. And sometimes occasionally, you just see, this

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thing brings a smile to this face or to her face, I'm going to do this.

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Sometimes you're gonna find out ways there are some kids who have had a lot of law, bless them.

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They just know ways to make their parents happy. They tell them jokes sometimes, right? They tell them for a nice story, something that happened with them. They asked them well, what is it that you want to do? Let's go out and do this. Let's you know the in the house, do this and do that. And they bring joy to the heart of their mothers bring joy to the heart of their father, they just specialized Subhanallah and that person is blessed. That person is blessed. Because that person is obeying Allah as Odin by pleasing their parents, that person is blessed. So find ways, even small ways, small ways of making your parents happy, because that is part of pleasing Allah, which will

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follow eternally for a man this is what he said, and making them happy, is one of the best deeds of righteousness men of God, amen. So notice what he says, and this is a key is handled for him and making them happy, is of the best deeds of righteousness. While he and you said it Jabba the hour huduma. And he says of the call him, he should rush

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to them, he should rush to them, he should answer them quickly. for you that kind of is solid enough for what the job was a fee how to select a job, but he was praying in voluntary prayer. He says he hates internet, if they call him he hasten to that he hastens in it. He finishes it quickly, so that he can answer them. So if he knows, for instance, while he's praying, nothing, right, the sooner and his mother calls or his father calls, and he knows that it's not urgent, right, and they can be patient a little bit and he can let them know that he is in salah and we can wait for him. He can do that. He can do that. And then he hastened his Salah.

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It speeds it up so that he can finish it and rescue them. If he on the other hand, knows that. No, they really need him. He cuts his Salah.

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He gets a Salah, right? And it's allowed, right? Because this is only sooner, while obeying them is fun. So he cuts his Salah, and he can go and talk to them and come back later and reduce them. Okay, so this is what you understood. Pamela just tells you about how important they are and should be.

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What if Hola, hola, Hola, and Karina, and then the last part here is important well Hakuna la Hema, and it's incumbent upon them, it's an obligation upon the parents and your inner who either be rahima that they would help them help his, their son or their daughter, to be kind to them. billini Jenny Bahama by being soft, by being gentle, where you felt that he'd be that the ad Hema we felt that he be that at him and not to burden him financially. From also that Eva de la te la, weather if at all, elaborate only healer, home and adeleke he says because people are not able to obey Allah zodion and fulfill his obligations except by Allah helping them to do so. So that there is an

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important point that we should keep in mind if you're a parent, or you're going to be a future parent. It's not that all the responsibility is on my kids, and they need to obey me and I can be a tyrant, a dictator. But no matter what I do this route are supposed to respect me It says no, here. It says no, you have to help them. Be kind to you. And how do you help them be kind to you by you, yourself, being kind to them, by yourself being soft, but you yourself being reasonable. Because if you yell, you teach them to yell, if you say bad words, you teach them to do what? say bad words. If you are impatient, you infect them with impatience. So how you are is going to be transported to

00:44:36--> 00:45:00

your kids. So you can't expect yourself to be whatever you want to be but they be angels does not work. So you want them to be good kids. Allow them to be good kids by being a good person yourself by being a good parent because if you are a good parent, there's no burden on them to be good kids, good sons and daughters. But if you

00:45:00--> 00:45:48

make their life difficult. It is very difficult then for them to come back and be pious to listen to you to not scream, to not yell to do not to do. So. SubhanAllah we need a balance. We need a balance. So I'm always complaining about the kids while I'm also neglecting my own adverb, or wishing that they should be better, although for many years, I mistreated and mis educated. No, I need to be a good parent for me to have good children. Right? But if you are the child You are the son you're the daughter and your father and mother are not what they're supposed to be. Try your best to be the best that you can even though they are not again not for it to be an excuse and say

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they're not good so I'm not going to be could do your best to do your best to be the best that you can. So that a lot of Jun rewards you and ask Allah azza wa jal to fix your parents and then she is thinking shallow, we will stop here and see if you have questions we will answer them inshallah, but it's important to know these things and not only know them, but to teach them and also to apply them.

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So questions

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was pretty straightforward. So I don't know if you have any questions.

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inshallah.

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So we're good. Play zakum Allahu Allah Subhana Allah, Mohammed the shadow lady.

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Me