Internet, The 8th Continent

Ahmad Saleem

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Channel: Ahmad Saleem

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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the issue of parents not being aware of the potential danger of mental disorders caused by online gaming, and the importance of limiting exposure to gaming technology. They also emphasize the importance of identifying and highlighting addiction in the environment, as well as a new program called high alert that focuses on children and contemporary issues. The speakers stress the need for parents to trust their children and trust their devices, as well as the importance of letting children use their devices in a controlled environment.
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Bismillah AR Rahman. Nura

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is

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one of the most beloved sounds,

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to the ears of an individual.

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The most beloved sounds of crying to the ears of an individual is when the child comes out of the womb of the mother. And in the cries, the first cry, the cry, that signifies life, the cry that tells the parents that your child is alive and healthy. And from that point, begins a very, very important journey for the parents to take care and look after this little child.

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So the father and mother, they get busy taking care of this child, as he's nourished, he grows, the mother take care takes care of the character, the clock, the Tobia, how do you use the bathroom? How do you eat, the father is busy with bringing and bringing the bread to the table or sometimes nowadays, today, the mother and the father is offering the other role as a single father. But irrespective both of them combined, they are busy in the struggle, this journey to make sure that this child does not get hurt, or this child does not feel any threat or any fear or any harm comes its way. Now, many of times when the child's becomes

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seven or eight years of age, nine year old and not not the 789. At that point, the child he starts showing some symptoms, he wants freedom, he wants to do things his way, he's no longer interested in your narrative. But then, you know, when the child goes out, and no, almost no parent, ever respected of their religiosity barometer of where they fall, adherence to Islam, almost no parents and sometimes even non Muslims would never ever find this appropriate that their child hangs out at the age of seven, eight or nine on the streets and comes home at 2am. And

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neither is going to be acceptable. If your child a teenager separates, you know, 1415 hangs out with people that you fundamentally disagree with their character, or their behavior, or their habits or, or the pizza or art or, or the things that these young kids do. So you would warn your child and you would tell him, that's not good for you, I don't approve of that, as this is a very normative scene that we see amongst the communities today.

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Now I was sitting

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at one of the Tim Hortons

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and the similar scenario played out in front of me. And the scenario was

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that there is a child's mother and her friend, the mother and her friend, they were busy talking the whole time while the child was busy with an iPad or some sort of a tablet. Now the minute the mother decided that they're going to go get something from the counter. At that point, the mother turns to the child and tells him Listen, remember what I told you, there is stranger danger, do not talk to strangers. Strangers can harm you, they can take you away from my mom. So you make sure that you don't speak to I'm just around the corner, literally the distance between where he said the child was sitting in the mother was like literally from this member all the way to that door. But even

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that amount of distance the mother informed the child out of her love and care and said make sure you don't speak to anybody. Just focus on your tablet, don't do anything. Don't talk to anyone don't respond to anyone because there is stranger danger.

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Or strangers aren't dangerous.

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What would you fail failed to realize in that whole process is that seven or eight year old child was communicating with strangers

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all day long

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as he played video games with

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strangers that you as a parent are not even aware of

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people that you don't even know

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they could assume any identities and present themselves in a 789 years old because there's no button you know, there is no verification process. Now this online gaming is almost like an eighth continent, your child. We are so worried about our child and protect

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In our child from the seventh and the content from the elements of the seven continents, but we always forget and neglect that there's an eighth continent, which is the internet, there's an eighth continent where your child is living on a constant in on interacting with people, he has points, he has status, it's a society that he's living. And many of the parents are completely aware, unaware of that. Or even if they aren't aware of it, it's not worth the trouble for them. To understand this, it's not worth the trouble to, for me to figure out what fortnight is, it's not worth the trouble for a parent to figure out what Twitch is, and all these other platforms that you know, this

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gaming is taking place. It's not, because come on, you know, as long as he's not watching anything profane on television, or as long as he's not doing anything, you know, that is outwardly acceptable, outwardly unacceptable accountability law my child is doing. So we want to talk about this today. Because I think this is a real issue. And an epidemic that is, you know, prevalent amongst the society, I recently

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came across

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a platform that allows parents to actually educate themselves, so that they can actually understand what this whole gaming world is all about. And, and many of the times the children that go to these platforms, I'm not really sure if it's available, like they, what they usually do is they hold sessions at different libraries, or different, you know, malls and stuff like that you can bring your child over there. It's called Game lawyer, right? And it started out of Australia. But it's something really amazing because what they do is they ensure that you, as a parent and a child come to an agreement or a contract between how gaming is going to be introduced in this child's life.

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See, we cannot, at any incident, think about this fact that you don't want abstinence or staying away or keeping these children away from on this technology is the solution, maybe until they're 5678. But you have to expose to them to this technology. What is missing in this whole piece is as parents, how do we have some sort of control, and we give them a controlled environment and a limited exposure. I gave a similar hook by last week and Brenton and one of the professors at a university or college I don't remember exactly. But he was a professor. And he said that his daughter is sitting in Switzerland. And he can monitor exactly which websites she went to what how

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much time she spent on the phone, what was the primary you don't mean? Areas where she watching videos, and all of that, and he gets a record of that. So I've been in talks with him right now to see that if he can provide that type sort of education to the parents. But in in, in any case, all of that information exists. The parents will be here internally, we need to take out that time and say that, okay, this technology, this lifestyle, imagine it has changed so much that the recent government changes in the school boards, they've removed like two courses are going to be done online. Right. And of course, they were costing the government a lot, they've cut those courses. And

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now they're offering this as an online course for your child to get the high school diploma. For him to get that diploma, they will do this course online. By the time making if your children that are seven, eight, or grandchildren's or seven, eight, they will become teenagers, the whole thing is going to flip around. So we need as parents to trust our children, allow them that limited exposure that see that the game should not be the cake. It shouldn't be the icing on that cake. So gaming, television, gaming, internet, cell phone, all of this, it's cannot be the essence of their life. And the reason I bring this up today is because just on June 27 2019, the World Health Organization did

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classified Internet gaming as a mental disorder. I eat addiction. And now they're going to start doing research. And by the by, I think by year 2020. They will start prescribing medications for them. And I bring this up today because I will present I will probably bring out two examples of people that I met in the last six months that I've been here, cases that were brought up to me that weren't ground like they were like many of times we might think oh no, it's just not very big deal. It's just a small thing. Not a big problem. But it is a big problem. One of the cases that was brought to me was a childhood play internet games 12 hours continuously every day.

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It was a 15 year old child who would play 12 hours continuously, many times

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He would not even go to the bathroom during those 12 hours because he was addicted to that. And obviously, because he too apparent he's an addict, but for him, he is living a virtual life where he has status. He gets points, he gets recommendations, he gets, you know, flattering, people making comments about how amazing he played, and that is feeding his emotions. And this particular child and took him almost six months of therapy. And just recently, he was allowed and introduced that video games and all of that, so that you know, in a very controlled environment, and there's an agreement between him and the parent and the counselor, and this is a real scenario, but the danger

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is much higher than that. And the second case that came to me, which was a case of

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a younger girl, 14 years of age, she started doing all of these online Gaming's the interesting part was that in her house, her father, her elder brother, the male relatives, would never flatter her with good comments, mashallah, you look very beautiful. Mashallah, what a nice dress, and a little bit child, the female child, or a young girl, she is desperate to hear that. And when she does not hear it from the male relatives, then she seeks that from other ways. And this particular girl, she started playing a particular online game. And one thing led to another thing led to another thing until she was convinced by the group of people that she was involved in, in that particular online

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group,

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that they started sharing pictures of themselves without clothes. And they said, look, we've all become vulnerable in front of you. And we all love you, we all really care about you. How about you take some pictures of yours and share it with us, trust me is just going to remain in this group of an online group gamers that she was involved in. And after that, when she did that,

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they started blackmailing her. And 100 of those two guys, they were arrested. But other than that, they started laughing, blackmailing her. And the extent it went to was, they even had figured out the school that she went to in Mandeville,

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and what was the path that she would take everyday walking from the school back to home, and that they would use her as a transport means of drugs. So they would somebody that would meet him in the parking lot of being heard at the parking lot of the school, they would give her a small drug pouch or something and say, as you are going and walking, you will see a car with this number plate, just throw this pouch in the window of that car.

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And she did that for the last six months, until finally we were able to catch that person for two people. And they arrested but the case is that this is extremely dangerous, that you have children that are sitting there in your houses in your home, and you're still concerned about them, meeting strangers, but they are sitting in your house in the room and interacting with strangers that you have no idea doing things. So now some of the tips and things that I would want to convey to you recognize that your child

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has this addiction. Number one, that there are three things that they have mentioned, I hope I remember that from the article. But there are three things Number one, they said that if the child gift prep gives precedence to human needs, ie going to the bathroom drinking, socialization, all of this, if he gives precedence

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to gaming more than human needs, then that is the first sign that there's an addiction problem. There may not be a severe problem, but there's an addiction problem. Number two, when they cannot differentiate between virtual reality and reality. So many times these people, they will start like, you know, when you would speak to them, and they're addicted to gaming, when you speak to them, they will speak in terminal like they will be living in that virtual world in their brain. And then it's very hard for them to disconnect. And he's like, they'll come back to this like, oh, sorry, what did you say I didn't hear that.

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And the child is in that virtual world, as this is really hard to figure it out. The third one is when you take away the video game from the child when you take away online gaming, specifically, when you take that away from the child, how does the child react?

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The severe the reaction, the bigger the problem the parent has on his hand. Now some solutions that we can put forth during this beautiful summer months. There's no reason that your child should be playing video games for more than an hour

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at all, like if you are going to expose your child to an online gaming, which you should, because in a controlled environment, it should never be above an hour ever

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because there's so many things you can do outdoors. In specifically in summers, the city has planned so many things, workshops, take your child to, for example, Home Depot, they have workshops on how to do gardening goes workshops. Sometimes class is very nominal 1015 $20. Every, every week, there's a workshop happening on how to take care of the one, connect your children back to the nature, one of the other things you can do is you can buy car passes, and scheduled times where you would go out as a parent with your child on hikes. Now, sometimes you know, the sun sets at nine o'clock, many parents, they come back from work 637, you still have two hours of daylight, where you can take out

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your child or a grandson go out on a hike go out on the bike, the more they connect with the nature, the less craving, they're going to have to play the good news, and the less screaming they're going to have on this online addiction. Number thing. And this one is sometimes, you know, you know, it's things happen. Again, it's for all of us,

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as a parent have an addiction in your cell phone.

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Because many times, you would find that you download certain apps, that tells you your usage of cell phones and tells you the usage of how long have you used the phone, you will actually realize to Pamela that many of us as parents, many of us as grandparents, we are also addicted to our phones, maybe not to online gaming, but definitely to WhatsApp and all the amazing groups that you know, have been talking about politics have back home, all of that is a form of prediction, it is giving us some satisfaction. And that is something very, very important. I don't know one of the prominent speakers in us and I was speaking I was with him. And he told me that he has a policy that on his

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second level of the house, like you know, when you go up one bedroom, like the minute you walk up the stairs, Nobody's allowed to bring any cell phones, any devices, nothing, all the devices that remain on the main floor. Now, this brings me to the fourth point, that if you have given your child a laptop, or an iPad or a tablet, tablet, just make sure that you can find the space in which he's allowed to use that. Right, you give him the freedom to use the tablet, let's say you're not allowed to take that tablet, lock the door and go in your room. There's no need for them. You can play all the games, you can use your headphones, if you don't want me to, you know, but that child should be

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in an open space environment where he knows that other people are watching him. And again, it's a family. So you should not have any such secrets that your child can play video games and and if he resist that, there's more reasons for you to actually figure out that you know how you can do that. Same thing with laptops or laptops should be allowed in the rooms of children, because it's a device that is calling disaster, right? Unless your children are trained. Again, I'm very balanced here that you cannot tell the child no laptop, no Instagram, no Facebook, no Snapchat for you. And that's not going to work. Right? I had to, after a long discussion, expose my own daughter to Instagram.

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And, you know, honestly, it was a very daunting task for us. And I don't want her to get exposed. But there is a chance like, if I don't expose her to that in a controlled environment, you know, one hour a day or 45 minutes a day. And that is also as a reward, it is not a given that you will get that 45 minutes a day that at least you have some short term that you're also not depriving them of the lifestyle they will be giving. And number two, that you're giving them that that comfort that you know, I trust you enough for you to have your own account, but it is going to be controlled environment. I asked my grandson's tofield in this, this specifically this summertime, to be able to

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do things that helps our children. I think that we have, you know a very beautiful program that they have launched, which is the same for teams. If you have time. When there's two Thursdays it's going to be running, you can allow your children to register that if you're just available on the weekends we have another program called high alert. That is a program again, primarily focusing on children and the contemporary issues that they're facing insha Allah Tada the quote unquote, stuff that Allah you want to come and say, stuff.

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To me about this whole,

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the essence or the root of why we need to be worried about this is one verse of Allah Subhana Allah Subhana Allah says

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that protect yourselves and your families from hellfire. And another I like

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that on this in this Hellfire Allah subhanaw taala has placed staunch angels. I either really, really ruthless Soon Allah. They do not ever disobey the commands of philosophy. So, take this opportunity. Someone has the time to connect you to children. We asked a lot that he opens our hearts and grant system

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Fear of how to connect with our children.