Yassir Fazaga – The Quranicc Approach To Mental Health

Yassir Fazaga
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the traditional clothing and food messages of Islam, including physical pleasure and mental health issues due to actions of the Prophet. They stress the importance of initiating conversations with children about potential harm from marijuana and the potential for negative emotions. emotional dependency is the worst form of addiction, and seeking help for mental health issues is crucial. A conservative doctor is recommended for mental health issues.
AI: Transcript ©
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Whenever people speak about psychology, the immediate assumption is psychology is a Western white man, middle class

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science. And the reality of it is Wallahi This is not the case. And I'm just gonna give you a few examples. As a way of luring you in to this. quandary Subhanallah you ask the average Muslim? What does Jana look like? What is paradise look like? May we all be of the people of paradise horrible Alameen along with our loved ones. And you know, it's like when you speak of the Quranic approach to Paradise, what does that look like? Immediately people say when they're flowing rivers in paradise, it's evergreen, and you get to drink whatever and you get to where whatever, and you get to be with wherever and that's all true.

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But did you know that one of the most repeated descriptions of paradise in the Quran is the state of mental well being?

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In over 11, places in the Quran, Allah Subhana Allah speaks about the people of paradise. If you make it to Paradise, when you make it to Paradise, we promise you the following law, how often Allah himolla whom you are known in paradise, people shall not experience any fear, nor shall they experience any grief. That's brilliant, that Allah subhanaw taala, one of the most repeated descriptions of paradise in the Quran, is a place where you no longer experience fear, you no longer experience grief.

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And those who are in the field, you know that the most common disorders are anxiety disorders, and mood disorders. Anxiety is for right now it is this negative, vague feeling about some eminent misfortune that is going to happen in the future.

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You are in a state of what we call catastrophic thinking that somehow you go to the future. And you imagine the worst in that future. And of course, grief is about all the wrongs that went on in our lives.

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So when people have anxiety, as they say, with anxiety, we become prisoners, to our imaginations.

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And with grief, we become captives of our memories. Too sad about yesterday, too worried about tomorrow, we miss out on living today. So the Quran comes in and says, if you make it to Paradise, May we all be of the people of paradise, you make it to Paradise, and you truly get to enjoy the moment

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you know, subhanAllah there is no amount of physical material pleasure that can be truly experienced. If you are mentally disturbed,

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ask anybody. They have money, they have a good position. They have good status, that man

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member in their families not doing well.

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Ask them something is bothering them. There is no amount of physical pleasure that you can present to them that they can fully enjoy knowing that something in the back of my mind man that's bothering me.

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physical pleasure will not make sense. In fact, physical pleasure will not even be experienced, unless you are truly in the right mindset for it. Isn't that beautiful? Subhan Allah so the Quran doesn't say let's tell you about the importance of mental health what the Quran does, the Quran presents these topics in such a way that you get to Say Subhan Allah You know, I never thought about this this this way that the first thing that you experienced in general is a state of mental well being.

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Imagine you experiencing zero fear,

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zero grief, just imagine that

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imagine that we are in the state where lovin Allah Who there is no any kind of fear upon this. They're not anxious, worried about anything.

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And they're not experiencing any nostalgia. They're not experiencing any sadness about what went wrong yesterday. Now. I am where I am ready to enjoy whatever

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Is that you are presenting to me.

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Now all the food makes sense, all the drink makes sense. All the potential relationships make sense, all the clothing you can enjoy all the accessories you can wear. Now, it is making sense at this at this point.

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Imagine that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wakes up in the morning and amongst the very first things that he says Allah who are also becoming Samuel hasn are all the becoming an exile Castle who are who they become an unbelievable job and who are also becoming irrelevant that day anyway. or Allah I seek refuge in You from worry and grief. rewired Hum Hum hum who hasn't. You know, it's really nice and out of a hum and rum. Say that sometimes you are worried about something and you know the reason that's called him, sometimes you're worried and you don't know what the reason is. That's called the drum from that same root verb also comes to you, you know, the clouds

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tech vague, I just worry about so I don't know what it is, but I just have this constant worry that I am feeling. So in Arabi because it's such a rich language, if the cause is knowing, the type of war is called him, if the cause of worry is not known, then that type of worry is referred to as rum. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would say this, and the Prophet of Allah seeks refuge from things that are detrimental to our well being, be it in this life, or be it in the hereafter that amongst the very first things that he says in the morning is your Allah I seek refuge in you, I do not want to be in the state of worry, nor do I want to be in the state of sadness and

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the state of grief.

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It is said that one time a group of people got together

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and they were talking about how smart say now live in Abu Talib is and they said Ali, Olajuwon Hakeem. He said a wise man. And then he said that the people said Man Why don't we just like pick up a question and discuss it amongst ourselves and then let's let's ask the same question of saying I live in Abu Talib and see how our answers differ from his. So once suggested the following question he said, Let's Allahu Allah Allah, Allah, Allah. Let's ask him about the mightiest thing that Allah subhanaw taala ever created. Like what is the mightiest thing that Allah created? Do not to us we human beings.

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So somebody said mountains so here we are, technically you can cut down the mountains if you have you know, metal or wood technically you can also you know, make the metal melt if you use VI and they're discussing this say Natalie walks in and they say yeah ally Morocco Mahalo. Allah. Ali, what is the strongest thing that Allah Subhana Allah has created and say it naturally put his stamp finger out? I'll Acoma halacha Allahu Ashura. He said, the strongest thing that Allah Subhana Allah has created are 10 things. Then he goes Acoma Haleakala hula G bad. So the strongest thing that Allah Subhana Allah has created are the mountains, most visible might for us human beings. But then

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he said, technically, you can cut down the mountains if you use iron.

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But then he said you can also melt down, therefore Iran is stronger. But you can also melt down IRA and if you use fire, so fire must be stronger. But you can put off the fire with water so the water must be stronger. But it is the clouds that carry the water so the clouds must be stronger. But it is the wind that directs the cloud. So the wind must be stronger, but the same wind that directs the cloud does not move man, so man must be stronger. But when man gets drunk the intoxicants, they cause him to lose that sense of stability, so intoxicants must be stronger. But if you go to sleep, you can put off the impact of intoxicant, so sleep must be stronger. But if you have worry and

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anxiety you will never be able to go to sleep. And therefore the strongest the mightiest thing that Allah has created is anxiety and worry.

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if we have not experienced anxiety and may we never experienced anxiety or Ebola mean please remember that some anxiety is good, some anxiety is natural. I have a ask anybody that is going to be seeing a an immigration judge tomorrow and the judge is going to determine whether you stay or you get deported. Is it okay for them to be anxious tonight? Yeah, it is. I just had biopsy and the doctor said he will see me tomorrow to see the results of the biopsy

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Is it okay to be worried tonight? Yeah. My parents have been discussing divorce and I'm really worried and they said they're going to make up their mind tomorrow. Is it okay for me to be worried tonight? Yeah, it is. So some anxiety is natural, and that's good.

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Meaning that it is humanly healthy for us. But then there is a type of anxiety. We don't know what the reason is. And people are just utterly anxious all the time, pacing back and forth, can't go to sleep. Their social relations are suffering. They're suffering professionally, they are suffering academically, it just mentally they are breaking down. And so I live in Abu Talib said that the mightiest thing that Allah subhanaw taala has created is this sense of anxiety.

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And then, of course, within our Muslim community, there is this perception that if you are a good believer, then you should not experience any kind of emotional pain, or psychological pain. And you know, you come to a person and you say, you know, subhanAllah I've been depressed and that person looks at us. Well, have you read surah Yaseen, or, you know, brother, I was depressed before talking to you are now talking to us making me even more depressed. Because this is what we call, blame the victim theology, blame the victim theology. This is a weekend long course. And there is a section. And the title of the section is when bad theology leads to bad psychology, like a misunderstanding

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of the dean that causes people to have psychological problems. Not because the dean is Rosabella inherently wrong, but the understanding is so wrong, that it is causing people to have psychological problems. So we said this is bad theology, leading to bad psychology. So you are suffering because your Eman is weak? You're suffering because you're not paying attention to your Salah you're suffering because you're not reading the Quran yourself. And brothers and sisters, please don't say this.

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This is not true.

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This is not true practically. A good number of us know people who are good Muslims, yet they have these types of sufferings. And it's also theologically not sound you're calling W's Allah Allahu Allah.

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Ma Isabell Mina minha min. Well, it hasn't been wala na sabihin while I was having had the show Cata Yasha kaha Allah for Allahu Allahu Akbar allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So in the Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Whenever a believer is afflicted with any harm, worry, run anxiety, hasn't

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grief or sadness, NASA weariness, will no no sub tiredness, even if it be the prick of a thorn, Allah subhanaw taala uses this as means of forgiving the believer. Most people would want to talk about the difficulties faced by the believer, but they forget that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is talking about a believer, ma Asaba Mina, the prophet ALLAH is talking about a believer being afflicted by this by the believer is afflicted by this, because remember this, it is very possible that you can be very tender in your heart troubled in your mind, is that possible?

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Tender in your heart, believers can. People can be very tender in their heart and simultaneously going through mental issues. That is a very possibility. Better example yet. Your Apple Valley has salam

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ala Salem in the Quran. We are told that he lost his eyesight. Why did he lose his eyesight? Why did the Apple Valley Selim lose his eyesight? Because he

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because he cried. That's not what the Quran said. The Quran says very clearly very explicitly, the BIA Medina who

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Fabiola Dinah who

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mean and Hellsing ABL dot Aina who Meenal herzan Mignon angemon

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The seven Malays of Dini men I like a soda,

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nametag. So, this idea of the notion here Allah says that Yaqoob Ali salaam lost his eyesight because of her son, because of sorrow. Boy timeout. What do you mean? What do you mean? How does sorrow cold? How does sort of cause blindness

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See many times, we may be experiencing, experiencing emotional pain. But we exhibit it in a physical form,

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you're afraid, your voice starts cracking down, your knees are shaking. Your heart is, you know, beating fast. See, fear is emotional. But now it's exhibiting itself in a very physical form. You are in your room, and it's 2am. And you start hearing noise downstairs, and you are absolutely sure that there is a burglar downstairs. So what happens, you start sweating, and you are shaking, and you're very afraid. And you muster all the courage in you and you go downstairs only to find out it was your cat, or you left the window open, or it was the wind, and then immediately Hi, I'm Dylan, and we're just happened to

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see our bodies

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react to certainty. Our bodies don't react to accuracy. This is brilliant. Our bodies react to certainty, not to accuracy. They had a story about this young man working in a restaurant. And he was the last person leaving the restaurant. And what happened is,

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what happened is that he goes into the walk in freezer, and the door is locked behind him. And he could not get out. That's why there is a law that if you have a walk in freezer, it must be opened from the from the inside. And he is much as he is pushing as much as he is yelling, the door is locked. No one is coming until tomorrow morning. And by then he knows he's going to freeze to death. You can do all the yelling, nobody's going to hear you. You're inside a closed restaurant inside a walk in freezer, that is also locked. So he had a pen, and he starts writing on the boxes, His Will I love my family, I can't move, I can't feel my toes anymore. I can feel my ears, please do this and

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analyzing the handwriting. They're looking at it and they're determining what happens. So they come in the morning, and the person is dead. And he died of hypothermia like symptoms. Hypothermia is when a person is exposed to a lot of cold. But interestingly,

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the freezer was not working.

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They left the phone on so that it doesn't smell. But the freezer was not working because it needed to be serviced the next day. So the freezer was not working. And what happened is that his thoughts were so powerful that his body actually believed it. The doctor that made a mistake in the report, and he's talking to one of his patients and he apologizes and he says I am sorry, but you have a stage four cancer and there is really nothing that we can do and that patient dies within three months because of cancer like symptoms. Sometimes we don't appreciate the power of our the power of our thoughts. But the point here remains and that is Allah Subhana. Allah is telling us that it is

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possible that believers can actually have him. Believers can experience anxiety, they can experience worry, they can experience grief. Can we say that Yaqoob Alayhis Salam did not experience was not a believer for Bubut, Aina hoomin and housing that his eyes, he lost his eyesight because of sorrow, mineral housing. Can somebody say, not a good believer? We don't say that. We don't we don't do that. But please, the point here remains and that is believers can also experience this notion of this notion of mental health. Now please don't get me wrong. Remember that in our deen

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the acts of Salawat, the act of fasting, the acts of the spear, they all enhance our well being our mental health, the state of our mental health. But nowhere in the Quran are we ever promised that because you are a believer, you are inherently going to be

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defended against against this. It doesn't say that. So what the Quran does is that it gives us tools in order to enhance our mental health. It gives us tools in order to face life and the challenges that life brings our way but it doesn't say that because you do this. You're going to be inherently protected again.

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against that insha Allah more to come here. So the point I'm making is in our deen, that is enough for us to be interested in this. And that is why early believers, as we will see in sha Allah, were not only interested in this, but they were pioneers in the field of psychology. I'll give you an example.

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This is a terrific nation. Some people argue that this is the very first surgical procedure that human beings have invented. And trepanation is something that was done to people when it was believed, they were that they were possessed by evil spirits. So people are experiencing delusion hallucination, they are, you know, mentally not doing well. So the immediate assumption is, these are people who are possessed by evil spirits, or what do we need to do? You need to make room for the evil spirits to leave their body. So this would be done, especially in religious communities. Either God is upset with you, or evil spirits have possessed you. The Quran confirms this. All who

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you are who do magic tener be the Unity woman Novatel Ricky earlier Hatena and Ollie Coleman new like I'd be more meaning in order to enact raka early Hatena

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he says hood incertitude Allah Subhana Allah is telling us the reaction of his people, that we shall not abandon our gods because of what you are telling us to do. In fact, we believe that you have been possessed by our gods something has gotten into your mind. In the Quran we find out that many of the messengers of Allah have been accused of being Majnoon your image known we're all we are you hello as you know Zilla Allah has zero in Nicola Majnoon, or ye the one who claims to be the recipient of this Quran or Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam You are indeed a madman. Round says about Musa alayhis salam in Rasul Allah Kamala d o si la la Kamala Majnoon indeed, the messenger

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that has been sent to you is a madman, he's a crazy is a crazy man. So what did they do? They would engage in the process of treaty nation. And unfortunately, this is how they did it, please don't try this at home. You don't you don't want to do this. So they will do trepanation as means of helping the evil spirits to get out of your of your body. Then comes Islam.

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Then comes Islam and we see for the first time what we call neuro ethics. Neuro ethics is a is a field in science that speaks about the legal and the ethical aspects of ethics, you know, before before, sorry, when when people were doing to defination. Most of most people, of course, did not survive did not survive this. This was not survivable. If you experienced anything like that, most likely you are going to, you're going to die. So the options were, or even have you heard that term? damned if you do and damned if you don't, you know where that came from? That people would actually be accused, that they are Bewitched, or that evil spirits are possessing them. So what they would do

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is that they would put them through the water test, they will tie their hands, they will tie their feet and they will place them in a pool in like a swimming pool. If they float it means that the evil spirits are helping them float so they killed them and if they drown then they die so damned if you do damned if you don't you're just no matter what you are. You're done with and what happens is that they will bring in the people they will do the Reformation. They will do exorcism if that does not work. Uh you know what, God is so upset with these people.

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Kick them out, kick them out. Then comes the Quran. And what does the Quran say?

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well I thought to sue for her um while accumulative Allah Allahu Allah. Yama, what is your own fee her work su coulomb over the mouth over this verse. In surah, Nisa, now becomes the basis of neuro ethics. Do not give suitor

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a selfie of evil Apple do not give those who are feeble minded your wealth they are not in the state they can carry out a fair financial transaction. Do not give them that they are not in that in that state. So what do we do? What is the Oh, provide for them? Okay, zoom. Color.

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with them, we're all Nullah, whom our moreover and speak to them with a splendid words. Well, here's the assumption is now initially acknowledgement of the of the fact that they are unable to carry out this transaction.

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There was a case, we have a disorder called bipolar disorder, suna il kotoba. And what that is, is that sometimes people go through their ups and downs and maybe in their in their ups. What happens is that people exhibit a lot of behavior. And part of the behavior that they exhibit is that they take some very, very risky behavior, they have a lot of energy, they don't need sleep, they speak a lot and they can just see a lot of energy and one of it is also shopping spree. So this man is experiencing a mania. They are experiencing a menu and he decided that he is going to go to the dealership. His daughter calls the dealership and says, Look, my father is not feeling well.

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Whatever he asks for please do not sell him anything. Please do not sell my father. My father is not well please don't sell him anything for other goals that he buys five Lexus's and he is and the daughter is just forced to the dealer you know this like a good a good deal. But here the Quran is telling us look, these people are unfit at that time, they're unfit to carry out the financial transactions, so ladder to sofa, I'm welcome. Do not do that. Do not do that to them.

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But that is not a reason that they ought to be mistreated. In fact, the Quran says provide for them. And then the Quran says clothe them, clothe them, like of all the things you choose to close them? Why doesn't say freedom? What, why closed them? Because now the idea is, they are amongst you, almost like saying protect them, protect them. Not only that Wakulla ruva. And that when you speak to them, you speak to them with a with splendid words. Now all of a sudden, we have what we call neuro ethics, that these people met these people, and they're, they're still part of us. So all of the sudden, away with that all you know, possessed by the devil away with all that evil spirits are

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in them away with all that God is punishing No, no, no. Right now what we need to do is need to take care of these of these people and just as a means of comparison, in the United States, in the UK, in their judicial legal system, the very first time that people were allowed use insanity, as potentially a legal defense so that people are not held accountable was in 1843.

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Imagine when was it in Islam

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1400 years.

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You think you're

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and now what is going on? This is happening as recent as 1843 did this do you see what is going on? Where our folk Aha, Muslim Judas would be speaking about this notion of a helliya When is a person legally liable? They will be speaking about this notion of well Aquila Monopol tech leave the Apple A fella tech leave they talking about a person being mentally present is a prerequisite for them to be mentally held accountable or held accountable for their actions and if not, then then then what is what is going on. So now what happens is the Dean comes in and now it is changing the way that people are looking into into into this time is it okay?

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And what we see here is we see the consequences as a result of now the Quran speaking like that, well what do you what do you do and inshallah we will, if we get the time in sha Allah, we will look into some of the principles of, of Islamic psychology but here is the most important part.

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Islamic psychology is what we call

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a liberation psychology,

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Islamic theology. It's a theology of liberation. Islamic psychology is a psychology of liberation. And this is not only just fancy cute words that we are that we are using. These are actually boronic concept, your honorable, Nigella

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Hola, Xena Tebbe Runa Rasul and Nabil Omiya la vie IG doing a home October and don't forget alrighty well in Julia muramyl Monrovia and McCurry Hello, playa, but you

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were the one who is sort of whom will Allah Allah Allah tikka, Anatoly.

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Allah speaks about the unlettered, unlearned messenger prophet that has been sent to them, whom they find to be mentioned in their own scripture in the Torah and in the gospel. He commands them to do the good and He prohibits them from doing evil. He declares for them lawful, pure thinks and he declares, unlawful for them impure things. And then the Quran tells us that part of the mission of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is why Elba and Rome estra, whom one Aquila Analytica, and Allah him that his mission is to liberate them of their Ewoks and to release them of the burdens that have been upon them. In other words, is as a ruse Abadi says Yoda on whom is Rome on an Israel

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who will fit Kylo Larry Yamuna River in Santa middle Harada. He says that this notion of burden in Arabi it is used as the anchor that is used by by by ships, so that the ship does not move, you put something really heavy down so that it holds the ship from moving is that Similarly, many times people are held back by burdens, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is here to liberate them from it. And that's why I love I love this imagery. And the point here is that when you speak of shackles, or when you speak of burdens or when you speak of yoke, Allahu Americana Allah Allah, Allah,

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Allah azza wa jal Israel My Hakuna Allah Ridgeline, you know, they speak about a will is what holds us around the neck like a yoke. And then a lull as far as what do you know, the change that are placed around around the feet, but the end result is the same. And that is a person who's been held back? Well, the two types of shackles,

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there are

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shackles that are imposed upon us by others.

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And then there are shackles that are self imposed.

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shackles imposed by others are easy to see.

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But the shackles imposed upon us, by us are very difficult to see.

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Give you a quick example.

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So something that we've seen nowadays, with a lot of young people, a lot of young people are coming in.

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the most common complaint that they have is anxiety, and depression.

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You see a young individual, and they're complaining that they they are.

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They're depressed. And when you look into their circumstances, parents are loving. They live in a nice neighborhood. There is no financial pressure on them. They're healthy. No, you know, there is really no,

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their lives have not been difficult. They have not been exposed to anything. Yet these young people are coming in and saying I'm depressed

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or they live is so very well. And they've talking about how anxious they feel. They just anxious all the time. Why?

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And when I say this, please remember that I'm not belittling or devaluing any of these feelings. If any of us is experiencing this Wallahi I don't mean to devalue it. But you know what we said earlier about? It's okay to feel anxiety. If life circumstances, presents for people to be anxious,

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it's okay to feel pain and sadness. If life present challenges that would naturally lead a person to feel depressed and sad. Of course, you just lost a loved one. Is it okay to be sad? Of course it's okay to be sad for a long time. Yes. Is it okay to remember them every now and then? Of course it is. Is it okay to cry every time you remember them? Of course it is. Nobody ought to be rushing somebody else. Come on, get over it and no, but what we're talking about is there is no plausible explanation for us to see where your anxiety

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is coming from where your depression is, is coming from. And some people are suggesting that we are living in an era where we are experiencing what we call a harsh, harsh nfcu. We are experiencing mental fragility, so easily broken. Anything can cause you to be depressed. The smallest thing can cause you to be very, very anxious. They're talking about this mental fragility. And this woman writes an article and she's talking about how the story of this young girl she's in the eighth grade, and she said she came home and she was crying uncontrollably. And her mother euros is trying to calm her down. And for half an hour, the young girl could not breathe and, and she is just

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crying. She's just bawling. And mom saying, baby, come down. Just tell me what's going on what's happening. Finally, she stops in.

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Okay, what happened to

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have been bullied today?

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Okay, you've been bullied today. What happened?

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My friends ate lunch without me.

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Excuse me? My friends ate lunch. Without me. Yeah, and

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that that's it. That's really what that's really what happened.

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Now don't again, please. The idea is not to belittle or devalue what people are experiencing. Maybe she felt rejection. Maybe she was alone, whatever the case is. What can you imagine how fragile we have become. That the little the smallest thing is just breaking people down.

00:36:38 --> 00:37:04

And that's why it'll build promoting this idea of look, ya'll we are just becoming so mentally fragile. And that is not good for us. People are writing about this and say, This is not good for society, for people to be so easily broken like this. That's not good. Give you an example. man comes to the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. And he's passing by and he sees he sees

00:37:06 --> 00:37:45

Bilal, and Yasser Amara vinyasa, Yasser Brahma, which one is it? I might have been the acid. He sees Bilal being tortured in Makkah. And then he sees, you know, Amar, being tortured and his wife nusseibeh. They're being they're being tortured. So he comes to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. It says, Yeah, Rasul Allah, Allah to sponsor Lana prophet of Allah, why won't you ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us victory profitable? Do you not see what's going on with Amar? Do you not see what's going on with with Yes, and do you not see what's going on with Villa privato Allah pray that Allah Subhana Allah

00:37:46 --> 00:37:55

and then the reaction of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam. You know when people do that, what are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? validate them.

00:37:57 --> 00:38:04

Accept the notion that people are suffering. In sha Allah, Allah will help us in sha Allah will make dua

00:38:05 --> 00:38:37

Amazingly, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said God of humankind Avila it said in the nation's before you, you tabula actually, a man would be brought for your health ruffle Earth, as a whole would be dug up for him and he would be placed in that hole where you dabble manner shear, and they would bring up a saw, and they start splitting the man in half, so that the man leaves his Dean and the man would not leave his Deen.

00:38:39 --> 00:39:22

How is this related to what I just told you? I just told you that the people are suffering and now you're talking to me about a greater suffering than the suffering that what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is saying that sometimes it's okay to toughen up. It really is okay. to toughen up. You know, I have I have clients, they would call me community members, you know, young kids and say, cheers, I'm having a bad day. Immediately. No, you want to validate? That's fine. It's okay to have a bad day. But yeah, I'm feeling anxious. Feeling anxious is not the end of though. Sometimes we choose as clinicians, we choose to speak like this. Because if you're constantly accommodating

00:39:22 --> 00:39:23

people, validating people, and

00:39:25 --> 00:39:26

sometimes that's not very healthy.

00:39:28 --> 00:39:59

And what you do in the process, you create a legitimize weakness. And that's not good. I'm not telling you to do this, but sometimes as clinicians, you employ this idea of that, okay. So the end of the world. So sometimes these things are okay, any case, coming back to this, the idea of self imposed shackles, like people literally will just bring it upon themselves, like why do you do that? Why do you do that?

00:40:00 --> 00:40:00


00:40:02 --> 00:40:37

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam visits a man say Arabi can normally a Bedouin that was not feeling well. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam goes to visit him, and he sees the man in the man you know he's, he's sick. So he goes Lubbers I like the Hun insha Allah may no bad afflict you. May this be a means of the whole purification explanation of your sins may be weakness leaving your body may be since that Allah Subhana Allah is using you know this to forgive you more, this is good.

00:40:38 --> 00:41:25

What is the better one say? Leia rasool Allah, no no prophet of Allah. Um So what did the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam just say, he said me you may know bad afflict you. May this be means of purification, weakness, leaving your body expansions of your sense the whole made me to hold on here is the Prophet sallallahu Sallam making dua What do you say? What do you say when the prophets Allah, Allah makes it out to you? I mean, what does the man say? Leia Rasul Allah. Now he is a prophet of Allah. No, absolutely no he no prophet of Allah what is it all built here for fish I think Abby Lee today the whole Cobo is a prophet of Allah, this is nothing but boiling fever in the

00:41:25 --> 00:41:29

body of an old man, and I know it will take me to the grave.

00:41:31 --> 00:41:34

What does the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam then say,

00:41:35 --> 00:41:36

is in here because Alec

00:41:37 --> 00:41:41

so it is, as you perceive it to be?

00:41:43 --> 00:42:00

Allah, Allah rasool Allah, it is as you perceive it to be. I just gave you the option, I gave you the better option. You're sick anyways. And I'm telling you that you are sick. May it be for your own good.

00:42:01 --> 00:42:24

I'm offering us this and what do you say? No boiling fever in the body of an old man. It will soon take me to the grave then the Prophet SAW Selim said, then it is what you perceive it to be. Isn't he academic? This is what we call a self imposed, shackle.

00:42:25 --> 00:42:26

People are studying

00:42:28 --> 00:42:42

excuse me, people are studying. You know, a good number of our behavior is actually a learned behavior. We can unlearn it, and we can learn it. And they wanted to study optimism.

00:42:43 --> 00:43:29

Up optimism is a learned behavior, for example, can interview us Allahu Allahu wa sallam, your head will FetLife Isha and equally, the prophet of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam loved optimism in all of his affairs in all of his affairs, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam loved and appreciated optimism. Remember that optimists are not blind people. optimist, see what everybody else sees. But they like to focus their gaze on the good and on the positive. You know, some people are just constantly finding out what's wrong, constantly finding out what's missing, constantly, people pointing out to what is negative. If you're that person, on behalf of your family, and your

00:43:29 --> 00:43:31

friends and the community, you're not fun to be around.

00:43:32 --> 00:43:43

If they have not told you this, I'm doing us the favor. And I'm telling you, if you're that kind of individual, you are not fun to be around.

00:43:45 --> 00:44:15

Can Rasulullah sallallahu hebbal philosophy Enrico he loved optimism and all his faith worker they call alpha, low hustle hollow worship muscle will hold up. Being an optimist is the best of traits and character and being a pessimist is the worst of traits and character. Man, I was just born that way. Maybe you have the disposition to be like that. But you can actually learn to be an optimist.

00:44:17 --> 00:44:37

Had studying in the studying of optimism, had an experiment on children say no children who are naturally optimistic children who are naturally pessimistic so they go to the fourth grade. And they go to the school and they say can you please present us with your most

00:44:38 --> 00:45:00

optimistic student and your most pessimistic students? And the teachers immediately agree they say, oh, man, Heather in the fourth grade, man, that girl you can put her anywhere. She's always happy and giggly. But Jimmy in the fourth grade man then nothing makes that kid happy. So they go they find out Heather. I mean, they say a name was Heather. They find Heather

00:45:00 --> 00:45:45

When they find Jimmy, so they take Jimmy and they put him in a big room full of toys, video games, anything that you can think of that would be enjoyed by a fourth grader. And they said, you have an hour. Enjoy yourself. They take Heather, and they put her in a room full of horse manure, it's all the way up to her neck and they said, Girl, you have an hour. Enjoy yourself. So they come back in an hour. And they see Heather is swimming in the horse manure, she's jumping in and out and she's going diving in. And they said, What are you doing? And she said, Man, with all this evidence, there's got to be a pony somewhere here.

00:45:47 --> 00:45:48

They go to Jimmy.

00:45:49 --> 00:45:58

And he's sitting exactly where they left him looking all clumsy and sad and upset and angry. Open the door after an outtake. Jimmy what's going on?

00:45:59 --> 00:46:06

He said, Look around, look around. You see all these toys? Who has the time to play with all these toys?

00:46:08 --> 00:46:17

Or, as they say, to prisoners, looked out of the prison bars. One saw mud,

00:46:18 --> 00:46:19

the other saw stars?

00:46:21 --> 00:47:06

What is it that you want to see? What is it that you want to see? So now all of a sudden, you know, the dean is telling us about look ya'll believers, you've got to make choices. Optimism is a learned behavior. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam would say, alpha national holo. Being an optimist is the best of traits or knowing that when I've got I've got to develop some optimism in my life doesn't mean I'm gullible. It doesn't mean I am blind. It doesn't mean I am silly. It doesn't mean it's just that look, man. Many times with all what is going on around us, actually, optimists people, they bring presents in our, in our world.

00:47:07 --> 00:47:14

Let's put it this way. We're going to have dinner in sha Allah after Asha. I hope in sha Allah, Allah, Allah

00:47:15 --> 00:47:53

say, we're going to have dinner. But it's going to be in a the other side of town. And you know, we're done with ash. And you know, it's like, we're 20 minutes away. But then the place closes in 20 minutes, everybody gets in the car, and somebody's saying, we'll be close by the time we get there. But like, it'll be closed. By the time we get there. I'm telling you, it will be closed by the time we get there. By the time we get there, it'll be closed. I'm telling you, man, by the time we get there, it'll be close. And everybody's just playing and, and joking and mudita. So we get there. And it was closed. I told you it was going to be closed. I told you see, they say that the pessimist may

00:47:53 --> 00:48:07

be right at the end of the journey. But everybody else was enjoying the ride. Remember, the pessimist? Maybe right? At the end of the journey? It was closed. But in the meantime, what happened?

00:48:09 --> 00:48:14

Everybody else was enjoying the ride. So what do we do? Everybody said that? Okay, fine. Let's just go to Denny's.

00:48:15 --> 00:48:19

Right? Hinton, our let's just go to dentists.

00:48:20 --> 00:48:45

What if I told you it was going to be closed? I told you it was going to be closed, there was no way of getting I told it was fine. Imagine now this is how you talk to your family. Imagine this is how mother talks to her children. Imagine that. So what we see here is that this idea of a psychology of liberation, okay, let me just give you a quick example. Okay. Muslims have used the Quran

00:48:46 --> 00:48:52

in order to learn about human psychology and

00:48:53 --> 00:49:42

the self. And this is this is a beautiful one, the polar rasa, the tabula rasa is there is a debate, was it a proto file? Was it Evan Cena, who really came up with this term, a tabula rasa, but basically what that is, is that the suggestion is that people are born without any mental content. We're just born were born with reflexes. But in our mind, there is really nothing. And also part of it is that in our deen we do not believe in the concept of original sin. Because remember that original sin, supposedly, there is no amount of good work that you can do to rid yourself of the original sin. And that's why God sent His only begotten Son, you know, to do a sacrifice so that,

00:49:42 --> 00:49:59

you know, we ransom away our sins. When in our deen. Number one people are not born sinful people are born sinless. The Buddha said you're born sinless sense cannot be inherited. They can only be committed by the individual. Why is this important to say now

00:50:00 --> 00:50:11

Because remember initially Western psychology was based on Christian teachings, Christian teachings, acknowledged initially, they would speak about man being bad.

00:50:13 --> 00:51:01

Islamic psychology is based on man is good. Man is intrinsically biological and spiritually good. Because man is the making of Allah subhanaw taala since do not taint our being, since it's the making of Allah since taint our character which is our own choice. So now Muslim psychologists they're talking about nerves today talking about man and saying that look, the Bula rasa, this very, very blank slate everybody is born with a blank slate. Where did we get this room? We get it from the Quran Wallah who Raja crewmember Tony Omaha lotta Allah muda Sharia through merger Andrea comes from some our upside all the undocumented Quran is Allah subhanaw taala that took you out of your

00:51:01 --> 00:51:18

mother's wombs, while you knew nothing, you came with nothing but reflexes, then Allah blessed you with the faculties of knowledge, which is the seeing the hearing and the cognition and the understanding. So that you may be

00:51:20 --> 00:51:28

so that you may be grateful. And that's just absolutely brilliant. We'll give you take you through a quick example here by

00:51:29 --> 00:51:49

like I said, this is a long course. But there is a so when you are a therapist, you choose a theory that you that you operate, you use to help your clients. And one of the most common theories now is CBT cognitive behavioral therapy.

00:51:50 --> 00:52:52

The founder of CBT is abuzz idle Bell, he was idle Belfry is this Muslim psychologist who for the first time is talking about what causes people to be sad, what causes people to be depressed, what causes people to be anxious, and he speaks he said that what causes people to do this is first added higher level Apple, it is damage that has taken place in their cognition. And in their imagination. First alcohol will happen. And basically the premise of of his theory is that the way our our thoughts, they give birth to our feelings, meaning that you cannot actually have a feeling without it being preceded by a thought. But sometimes we we feel so quickly that I don't know what I was

00:52:52 --> 00:53:10

thinking. Or you were thinking because there is no way that you can have a feeling without that feeling having preceded by a by a thought. But what happens is that most of us, we live by what we call automatic thoughts.

00:53:11 --> 00:53:33

Have you like ever driven back home and say, How did I even get there? That happened to you? Like, will law here? I don't remember how old Wallahi I don't remember how I got there? Or I just found myself in the parking lot. I found myself in front of my house Wallah. I don't know. Man, I don't even know if I crossed a red light or what happened. It's what we call automatic thought it 50

00:53:36 --> 00:53:48

automatic thoughts are good. Because automatic thoughts make life easier. It makes life predictable. If you're driving and you see a green light, what do you do? You go

00:53:49 --> 00:54:15

You Why do you go? Because you assume that the people on the other side of the road are going to stop? Can you imagine if we had to stop at every green light to make sure that everybody else has to stop? That would make life very, very difficult. So automatic thoughts. They make life predictable and they make life easy. Not only now, but also in the future. Somebody has offered a million dollars to jump out of a plane.

00:54:17 --> 00:54:41

No parachute. Would you do it? No. We do it for $10 million. No. Oh, it's a very small plane. No $100 million. No more if I tell you the plane is on the ground. Would you do it for a million dollars? Yeah. Why did you say no the first time because when I said jump out of a plane. What did you think? The point is a plane

00:54:42 --> 00:54:48

did I say the plane was up there. So what happened? What we call automatic thoughts.

00:54:49 --> 00:54:59

So now I was able Belfry is saying people actually suffer because of the saddle hial. This idea of anxiety is better

00:55:00 --> 00:55:24

is on catastrophic thinking, meaning that a person takes a situation and then jumps to the worst type of conclusion. True story. Brother calls me and says, Can you take me to the airport? I need to drive to the airport. I said no problem. Okay, what time is your flight? So 10am biLlahi I'm not making this up. I said, What time would you like to be at the airport? He said 4am.

00:55:26 --> 00:55:28

But there was going to open the airport, Masha, Allah.

00:55:29 --> 00:56:00

I said, What time would you like to be there? He said, 4am. I pick him up. So that we arrived to the airport. If you want to be there by $4, you can be there by 4am. I wouldn't do it. But that's what he wants Hamdulillah we go there. We exit the freeway. It's 345. But we are inching our way into the into the terminal. As far as four or five and the brothers fidgeting now on the Wallahi. I'm not making this up. It's worth 15. Because

00:56:01 --> 00:56:02

you know, what happens if I miss my plane?

00:56:04 --> 00:56:25

Will you know what happens if I miss my plane? The next available plane is in three days. Do you know what happens if I don't show up to work in three days? You know what happens? I'm going to lose my job. Do you know what happens? My kids are going to be homeless? In less than three minutes. The brother in his entire family at homeless already?

00:56:26 --> 00:56:33

You're following? What is what is going on? Somebody's checking out there. Oh my god, what is you think it's skin cancer?

00:56:34 --> 00:56:35

What just happened?

00:56:38 --> 00:57:27

I think I'm having kidney failure. What just happened? The what we call catastrophic thinking for saddle higher is that there is something wrong with your hierarchy, your imagination, what is what is facade with it? What is wrong with it? He said people are practicing catastrophic thinking you jump into the absolutely worst type of disaster in any situation that is given by your following what is what is what is going on? So now these Muslim psychologists are opening doors and 10 Look, ma'am, what is really happening is the person is suffering from facade to higher level apple. And then I'm certain challenge is going to say this and we were going to stop then the way that people

00:57:28 --> 00:57:44

deal with this. Inshallah, maybe one day we will have a session on this, but the way that people deal with this. So with anxiety, unfortunately, the most common remedy that is used, unfortunately, nowadays is

00:57:45 --> 00:57:46


00:57:47 --> 00:57:50

I'm not talking about smoking. I'm talking about smoking, if you know what I mean.

00:57:51 --> 00:57:53

The most common

00:57:54 --> 00:58:02

tools that people use nowadays is people smoking marijuana in order to deal with their anxiety.

00:58:04 --> 00:58:09

Does marijuana help with anxiety? Yes, it does. Marijuana is beautiful.

00:58:11 --> 00:58:58

Marijuana is really really good with anxiety. Marijuana is good with nausea as people who have HIV medication, radiation, people who are going through chemotherapy. Marijuana is really good. marijuana helps people relax. marijuana helps with joint pain. marijuana helps with certain types of tremor. marijuana helps people sleep. marijuana helps people who are anxious to calm down. I'm not saying this by the way. The Quran is saying this yes Aluna can annul Hungary will may Syria all three Hema is one KB wa min Pharaoh the nurse. they inquire they ask you all Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about intoxicants and gambling, say in them in gambling and intoxicants. There is

00:58:58 --> 00:59:17

big sin and some benefit to people. So when people come and argue about the benefits of marijuana, and they start listing the benefits of marijuana said, yeah, keep telling me about the benefits of marijuana. I'll give you some more benefits about about about marijuana. Is gambling. Really any benefits in gambling?

00:59:18 --> 00:59:28

And the benefits in gambling? How much is the super? What is it now? 1.3 billion. Okay, if you get it for $1 Is that good?

00:59:29 --> 00:59:31

saying no. Doesn't make you religious by the way.

00:59:32 --> 00:59:42

Some of you are tempted to say no, no, no, no, of course it's good. For $1 you get 1.3 billion is that good? Yeah. It is very good.

00:59:43 --> 00:59:48

This made one to help not marijuana, a gambling does it help the local public school system?

00:59:50 --> 01:00:00

You know, a good amount of the money that is spent on public school system comes from gambling. Is that good? Yes, it's good. Remember saying well law

01:00:00 --> 01:00:01

They say no does not make you religious.

01:00:03 --> 01:01:01

Acknowledging This is what the Quran free him enough it really nurse in it are benefits to people. So is it true that there are benefits in marijuana? Yes there is. But then the Quran comes back and says what? See the Quran. The Quran is teaching us that when we when we discuss when we argue with people, that we are actually people who are intellectually open to acknowledge these things. But then the Quran comes back and tells us what is mormor UK Ballroom in a very Hema, but the sin in them is much greater than the benefit that they offer you. Does marijuana help with anxiety? Yes, it does. Temporarily. What does that mean? If you smoke, you will be relaxed for sure you will be

01:01:01 --> 01:01:27

relaxed, the anxiety will go away. But when it comes back, it will come back with more intensity. So now what you have to do either smoke more quantity or more in frequency and eventually what happens to you, you become dependent on it. And the worst type of dependency is

01:01:29 --> 01:01:31

the worst type of dependency is.

01:01:35 --> 01:01:38

Come on. The worst type of dependency is

01:01:42 --> 01:01:44

come on people the worst type of dependency is

01:01:46 --> 01:01:47

okay, I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

01:01:49 --> 01:01:50

Mashallah, who said addiction

01:01:51 --> 01:01:52

is an addiction.

01:01:54 --> 01:01:55

Let's try it one more time.

01:01:56 --> 01:02:03

What is what is the worst type of addiction? What is the worst type of when I said addiction? I said what's the worst type of dependency?

01:02:07 --> 01:02:10

Say sorry. Mashallah, what's your name? Brother?

01:02:12 --> 01:02:14

Yes, sir. You're wrong.

01:02:17 --> 01:02:21

So the worst type of dependency is emotional dependency.

01:02:24 --> 01:02:26

The worst See, addiction is the outcome.

01:02:27 --> 01:02:32

But the worst type of dependency is emotional dependency.

01:02:33 --> 01:02:35

When you're waiting for something to make you feel better.

01:02:36 --> 01:02:42

When you're waiting for somebody to make you feel better, you have surrendered so much power

01:02:44 --> 01:02:54

to that thing, or to that person. And when you become emotionally dependent, you lose a sense of who you are.

01:02:57 --> 01:02:59

May Allah protect our children, Europa, Allah mean?

01:03:00 --> 01:03:03

A lot of young people, they come and they will be smoking.

01:03:05 --> 01:03:21

But we as parents, remember, it's always best to be proactive. You talk to your kids about this, if you will despair is Pennsylvania. Is marijuana illegal or illegal? Illegal. Okay, I'm not moving here. Um,

01:03:22 --> 01:03:28

but what happens now is if you believe that but people do have access to it, right? Is it to get marijuana?

01:03:30 --> 01:03:45

Medical marijuana is allowed. It just becomes another way of people having access to marijuana. Okay. But is this an important topic for us to discuss with our children? You better be discussing, you better be discussing this with your kids.

01:03:47 --> 01:04:01

At what age are young boys exposed to marijuana? No talking about also females, girls also smoke, but it's mainly a guy thing. Or what eight when is like the best time to talk to kids about two young boys about marijuana at what age

01:04:03 --> 01:04:04

10th grade.

01:04:06 --> 01:04:07

Seventh grade.

01:04:09 --> 01:04:49

The best time is going to be towards the end of elementary school, because they're most exposed to it in middle school. So don't wait for people to go to middle school know before they go to middle school. That's when you start having these types of conversations. Baby, I know you're going to middle school. Let me tell you, Middle School is an exciting time. You know, you get to make friends. You get to do this, you get to do that. But also Middle School is the time to start making sound decisions and choices in life. Here's what's going to happen. You're going to notice this and you're going to notice that and you've got to have these conversations all the time.

01:04:50 --> 01:04:59

You must initiate these conversations. Remember, don't wait for it to happen. You must initiate these conversations because this is real

01:05:00 --> 01:05:07

When people come in and say I'm having anxiety, first question that you do assessment is, what have you been? How have you been dealing with it?

01:05:08 --> 01:05:08


01:05:10 --> 01:05:34

I'm smoking but what was your I promise you Inshallah, I will stop. I've stopped. I used to ask, you know, young clients, you know, if you smoke or not, I don't say that anymore. I just say, when was the last time you smoked? Because that is how common it is. Remember? What is the most common addiction within young practicing Muslims, men? What is it?

01:05:36 --> 01:05:38

Marijuana and *.

01:05:40 --> 01:06:06

You can't shy away from it. Angela will say more about * tomorrow. But you cannot shy away from these topics. And just making sure that we accommodate our our sisters. So the tendency when people are anxious people use marijuana, young males, and some females as well. But for young females, it also engaging in self harm, and apologize. You know, sometimes you make these statements and I don't really mean to,

01:06:08 --> 01:06:52

you know, evoke people's emotions. And if you're going through this, may Allah subhanaw taala help you Europa, la Lamine. Does self harm. Help people? Yes, it does. Yes, it doesn't use a man the minute I cut myself, I just feel so relieved. The minute I feel that razor on my skin, man, I just feel, you know, this pressure taken off my chest, the minute I see read, and I just feel so liberated, and does it help? Yes, it does. But it is also like marijuana, meaning that it may offer a temporary relief. But then that is not a proper or a healthy tool to actually deal with your, with your

01:06:54 --> 01:07:40

with your challenges. Final point here is please remember that there is nothing wrong with seeking help. By that, I mean, there is nothing wrong with seeing a therapist we prefer that you see a Muslim therapist, if you do not have access to a Muslim therapist, at least reach out to somebody who has been exposed to Muslim community. A person may not be Muslim, but they have lived around around Muslims long enough that there is that sense of familiarity. If that person is not available, then at least seek somebody who is willing to learn about Islam and Muslims, mainly muslims so that you know that they can, they can help you. Sometimes if you have these issues, you may either choose

01:07:40 --> 01:07:51

to do talk therapy, and sometimes when a person's functioning is impaired, we might also recommend that they see a psychiatrist and the psychiatrist may give you

01:07:52 --> 01:08:30

medication. So please, you know, there is nothing wrong with seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist solely recommendation is when you go to see a psychiatrist. I prefer that people go to a conservative psychiatrist, conservative, we're not talking about social conservative or religious conservative. We're talking about somebody who's conservative who's not just wanting to push medication on people, you know, we're going to assess they're going to evaluate and if death psychiatrist believes that you do not need medication, because sometimes you know, when you go to the doctor and the doctor does not give you any medication, what do people say? Now that doctor

01:08:30 --> 01:08:48

doesn't know anything? I went to him and they did not give me any medication that's not good. Some good doctors choose not to give you medication and say look, I think that you can handle this. I believe that you can do this. There is inshallah enough if we do want to add three. You don't need to take medication that's a good doctor.

01:08:50 --> 01:09:05

But the point in sha Allah that we can reach out to both May Allah Subhana Allah grant us all mental health Europa Alameen May Allah Subhana Allah make us all the people of paradise Europa Alameen mela Frankel protect our families and protect our children Yoruba Alameen Allahu Allah masala Allah Allah say

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