Spiritual First Aid
Channel: Yasmin Mogahed
File Size: 81.66MB
would be let him in a shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim salatu salam ala rasulillah. While it was Marian rubbish Rahim sadly, we certainly agree with him in the center of polio, it is, it's nice to to be back Alhamdulillah having the opportunity to speak to all of you, after Ramadan, and after a very, you know, a very unprecedented Ramadan and Alhamdulillah a, you know, an opportunity to to celebrate AIDS. And unfortunately, we meet at a at a time of, I think,
global mourning really. And, you know, I think that there is no time more than now, where we need to really understand this concept of of spiritual first aid, as many of you know that there is a global movement right now, for black rights for for for the Black Lives Matter movement. And, you know, what's happened is that a very tragic murder has sparked a really a wake up for it was, it's amazing, because it hasn't only woken up us in America, but it's woken up really, the people globally to apply that many of us are not dealing with on an everyday basis. It's a it's a plight, you know, that is rooted in very, very systematic racism against African Americans. And it has been
going on for for too long. And I think that it got to a point right now, where people were just like, this Enough is enough. And so I think it is, was it within that context, that we speak about spiritual first aid, because the reality is that, in order for us to be able to to be successful, essentially, in all of our endeavors, whether that endeavor is, you know, social justice, or that endeavor is, you know, teaching or, you know, helping people through medicine, through, you know, religion through, you know, raising our family, whatever endeavor we are involved in, we can't be successful if our hearts are not healthy. And if our character is not healthy, and, and, and is not
intact. And so what I want to do inshallah today, and the topic I think is very important than is very timely. And that is a topic of spiritual first aid and self care in a time of a pandemic, and enduring this, this very unprecedented time. You know, and when we planned, you know, I think that the topic here of this event, it was before it was during the time when we were dealing with COVID-19, it's kind of the, the focal point, and now we've kind of shifted, we're now within this pandemic, we have this new crisis, which has turned into sort of an, a wake up call for the world, about the plight of black people in America. And that has spurred into a movement where people are,
are all kind of saying, globally, I mean, I thought it was so powerful to see support and you know, beautiful like murals coming out of Palestine, and out of Syria, all in support, because this is a brotherhood, whether we talk about the Brotherhood of Islam, or we talk about the Brotherhood of humanity. The prophets, I send them taught us that when you see something wrong, you should try to change it with your hand. And if you cannot, then try to change it with your tongue by speaking out against it. And if you cannot, then at least hating it in your heart, but this is considered the weakest of faith. And so our religion is a religion of action. It's a religion of taking action
against injustice. It's important that we point this out because anytime we have a discussion about spirituality, it's it's essential that we don't think that spirituality is just about praying, and fasting, or, you know, cutting yourself off from the community and going to the masjid, but rather spirituality is actually the fuel that we require in order to do the work for community. You know, when you look at the the context of the war, and you look at how the end was revealed to the Prophet Mohammed sigh send them, you find that you look at some of the first verses that were revealed to Prophet Mohammed sly send them and you see that here the prophets, I send them in sort of technical
depth, there's certain resentment, the prophets I send them is being addressed. You know, you who is covered up who was wrapped up because he was so shaken by this experience that he had with a prophet with angels, you believe that he was he was he went home to his wife and he said, The moon is a Meloni. That's the only that's the only cover me and wrap me because he was so shaken by it. It was a very intense spiritual experience. And this was the first revelation that came to him when he was told to read, but but shortly thereafter,
After this, this other revelation comes down, that addresses him. Yeah. Yeah, you have resentment at home and Nayla Illa Allah. So the first the command that the first command is sudo, that the prompt that Allah subhanaw taala is telling the Prophet, so I sent him his stand up and pray at night. Now this is very important, because this is a spiritual aspect of our work, right? He says, Pullman Nayla in Napa Lila stand up and pray at night, except for some small portion of, of the night. And, and so we see that this is the spiritual training, that Allah is giving the prophets I send them, and then you find out why in Allah. And then later on Allah Subhana, Allah says, In the lack of in
nihari, subhanho wa Taala that because later, you know, he's giving him the spiritual formula to give him that, that, that fuel, why, because in aleca, later on, he says, In the lack of in a hurry, Sir bantha Wheeler, indeed, in the day, you have a lot to do, you have a lot of work. And so, you see here that the formula is that the spirituality is the fuel that we use to do the work. So you know, there really is no separation, in our religion, between spirituality, and, and work, spirituality, and, you know, action, whether that action is done at a local level and individual level or a collective community level, but action is required, right, we don't only worship God, in,
in our places of, you know, in our in our messages, or we don't only worship God in our hearts, but we have to manifest that worship through work. And one of the most important aspects of that work is the service to people is the the, the struggle against injustice, the the the work within the community, the work with our families, the work that we do, you know, to get closer to Allah subhanaw taala is what provides the the spiritual fuel for everything else that we that we need to do in our lives. And so this is extremely important, we cannot separate the two, we cannot separate. Amen from Ireland, for example, in the quarter end, a law links these two together and now Vienna,
and I know what I'm able to solve for those who believe, and who do righteous work, who do righteous deeds. And so action is linked with faith and, and spirituality, the the health of the heart, the action, the the worship, of the heart is linked to the worship of the limbs, the worship of the body, the actions that we that we involve ourselves in, and the prophets I send them told us that the core of it, the the master, you know, the, the, you know, control panel of the human being is the is the heart. He says in one Hadith, that in the field just said the motto, that indeed in the body, there's a lump of flesh is a solo hat solo just as a kulu. If it is set, right, then the
entire body is set, right? What is the first set that and if it is corrupted, first, so they'll just do kulu Ella, he'll calm and if it is corrupted, then the entire body will be corrupted. Verily, it's the heart. So here we find out that the heart becomes the, it's the control panel have the rest of our lives, the rest of our actions. And when the heart is strong, then we will be able to stand firm in our lives, we will be able to be strong in everything that we do and everything that we face, because we will face struggle, we will face challenges, everyone faces trials and tribulations of different forms. But in order to be able to survive those and in order to be able to be
successful, we have to have a strong and healthy heart. And so what I'm going to talk about today is how do we build that and what does Allah subhanaw taala tell us in the end are some of the
ingredients you know what's the process of building a heart that is that is strong a heart that is healthy, you know, as we know, from the beautiful of Ibrahim la salon in the Quran, where he asks Allah subhanaw taala will lead to Xena Yama, you buy food and do not disgrace me on the day when when everyone is brought back. Yo man a young man whenever noon eliminates a lot have you all been selling the day when when nothing will benefit anyone from wealth or children. You see these are the types of things and this is what we're seeing today unfortunately, in a very extreme form, which is that it is wealth it is the the the unfair and disproportionate distribution of wealth.
Which is what's causing these injustices at a root level. And so, you see here that Allah subhanaw taala is saying that these things which we, which we make sort of objects of worship in this life, right, we worship wealth, we worship status, we worship power, you know that these things will not benefit anyone on the Day of Judgment, yo My name again foul men whenever noon, the day when nothing will benefit anyone of wealth or or children or children, of course, at this time in this context was a was a was a representation of power. And so here it was telling us that these things will not benefit anyone in them and at the La Habra club and sell him except for the one who returns back to
a loss of Canada with a heart that sound. And now this puddle Boone Saleem is what we should be striving for, because that's what will allow us to be successful on a day, when nothing else will matter. The things that that that give someone privilege in this, in this life will not matter. In the next life, it will not matter when we stand in front of Allah subhana wa Island, the only thing that's going to matter is the state of that person's heart. And, and and whether or not that person returns back to Allah subhanaw taala with a heart that is sound. And so what I want to do my best to sort of give an overview because this is of course of this is a lifelong study, of course of the
purification and the, and the strengthening of the heart, I just want to talk about, you know, some some reflections about this topic from the Quran and from from the Sunnah of the prophets, I send them now to begin with,
is there's there's some areas in the Quran, where Allah subhanaw taala gives us some sort of snapshots of what's to come, you know, what's to come on the Day of Judgment, what's to come in the hereafter. And through this, we learn lessons. So one of these snapshots I want to talk about, because it's extremely important to understand this specific issue. And that is that it's a snapshot of the Day of Judgment, when
everyone is is sort of walking on what is understood to be a sit off, right. So as we're, as these people are walking, we're told and sort of that Howdy, that there's going to be some people who are going to have light emanating from them. And we know that these are the believers. And unless Allah says that there'll be light emanating from them and from their hands. And so we can understand that this is, you know, from the, from the interpretation of this, a, that this is the light that comes from their faith, right, the light emanating from their heart from their chest, and then it is also from their head now, from their hands, we can understand that to be related to their deeds, again,
going back to my initial thesis about the fact that this, that our Deen cannot separate faith from action, we can't say that, you know, I, I have everything in my heart, if it doesn't show up in my actions, and at the same time, I can't show action, if I if my heart isn't in the right place, it will, it won't be beneficial if I have empty action without heart. But similarly, if I have only a heart without action, it will be incomplete. And so we see here that these people are having this light emanating from them, from their chest, from their hearts, and in front of them, right, but at the same time from their hands. And here you can understand that that's their actions, and more
specifically, their charity. And this is something that that commentators explained, because earlier, this that and many times this is repeated in the sutra and sort of Hadith, that throughout the surah Allah subhanaw taala at the beginning, and, and then again later on in the suta, Allah repeats, the, the need for giving, the need for generosity, the near the need for for charity, and that this is part and parcel of faith, that this is part and parcel of our Amen. And so unless it links these two throughout, sort of that headed, he links, the the condition of the heart, the condition of the men with giving, with giving for the sake of God, and then again, he repeats that
link. And then here in the middle of the pseudo when he's talking about the Day of Judgment, he says that these people are going to have a light emanating from them and from their hands. So So to understand this, we see that it is from that person's amen from the state of their heart, and also from their actions, specifically their charity. And then now this is the part I really want to focus on as well. And that is the part where there's a group of people who call out to the believers who they can see have all this light emanating from them, and they say
una Nakata. desmin rurik. me know
Recall that that like, let us have some of that let us let us take a portion of that common, like, give us some of your light, let us share some of your light. And and this is because those people and now we're going to find out who those people were. And this is what's the reason I want to mention this particular passage is because it's very, it's very, it's very scary because they go on to say, no net could mackel were we not with you? So these people who are now begging for some bit of light, on the day of judgment, are people who used to be among the believers. But what happened to them? And that's what I want to focus on, is that what happened to them? And why did they get to
a point where they had no light when it was absolutely necessary to have like, what how did they get to a point when they were among the believers, that they come on the Day of Judgment, and they have no light, and now they're begging for some little bit of light. And then and this is an actually Allah subhanaw taala tells us exactly why. And how it is that they got to that position, even though they were among the believers. So they say, and I'm not good, Malcolm, hello, Ellen echomap, and Paul rubella while I can, nachum fatten to and full circle. So the first thing that they say they said, Where are we not with you? And the believers say, yeah, you were, but here's what happens. And
now I want everyone to pay attention here, because this is actually a warning from Allah subhanaw taala of what can turn a person from light to darkness. And that's very scary. Because we know that the palm, we've been talking here about the heart, right? The sun itself is a turning thing. That's why it's called cold called comes from the root, which means to turn. And so the Arabic language is actually very precise. And here, the language tells us the nature of the heart. And that is that it is something that turns it is something that can easily flip. This is why the prophets I send them used to say, yeah, we'll call the bell kulu said with Hello big Nick. Oh Turner, of that which turns
meaning the heart. Keep our hearts firm on your dean Aloma me we should always ask Allah subhanaw taala about this, because we are told that someone can wake up in the morning and by the evening there, they can wake up in the morning as a believer. And by the evening they're a disbeliever or the other way around, go to sleep. As as, as a disbeliever wake up as a believer and vice versa. We're told that the heart is something that flips the heart is something that turns and so we should always ask Allah subhanaw taala for protection and to keep us firm on his on his Deen because these people that are described in the sutra and sort of Alhaji these people were with the believers, but
they ended up without light. And so somehow they went from from being in that company from being you know, having that light to have to being in darkness. And the first thing that it says is this. So they say well, I can never come Phantom and full circle that you put yourselves in fitna, you put yourselves in fits now you You brought about fitness upon yourselves or now what is fitness mean fitness?
fitness has a lot of meanings. But in this context, it's talking about trials that
you know, things like where that where things are,
where there's confusion, where there are trials, and and one gets misled. And so they these people had fallen into this pfitzner these things that that took them away from Allah subhanaw taala. Now, what was the second thing that they say that can look? Well, I can now come to him and full circle, what are Boston? The second mistake that these people made? Is they procrastinated? A lot of busto means that they it means to wait like for our buses is to wait to just hold off on taking action. It's to procrastinate it's to say you know what, like all I'll wait on doing XYZ You know, when people say things like, you know,
when I get older, right? This this magic age older, then I will XYZ fill in the blank, right? Then I will wear hijab or then I will repent, then I will go you know, I'll live my life however I want. And then when I get older, you know and then I have a family and I've kids and then I will you know I'll be religious right? I'll wear hijab or I'll start going to the masjid or I'll repent or you know, I'll go to Mecca and Medina and I'll just everything will be fine then after that. This is actually why
One of the traps that these people fell into, is that they put stuff off, they put things off, they procrastinated, they they waited, they waited, when, in fact, the people who are closest to Allah subhanaw taala are the people who don't wait. When the call comes, you know, a lot of talks about sort of on walk that was sabich una sabich una, una, he can walk on the moon, listen to the language here. alesse saying that the assembly code are the people who are ahead, the people who are at the forefront, the people who are, who are, you know, basically this is the same word in Arabic for like a race. Right? So if you can imagine people racing, the assembly code, or the people who are at the
front, they're not the people lagging behind, they're not the people just hanging out and waiting for the next trend, when it's when it's trendy to do a certain type of thing, or when it's easy to do a certain kind of thing. You know, it's, it's a lot easier to worship Allah when everyone else is doing it. Right. It's a lot easier to get up and pray when it's Ramadan and you're at the masjid or it's, it's Ramadan, and everyone around you is praying and okay, but what's harder is to get up and pray when you're at the airport and no one else is praying, or when you're outside in public. See, this is what it means to be a sabich hoon is that they're not the people who just waited around for
to do what the crowd is doing. You know, the prophets, I send them described the oma in a very profound heading. And I want us to really listen carefully here because we are seeing this manifested right now in the time that we are living. And that is that the prophets I send them said there will come a time, there will soon come a time where your enemies will call one another, they will summon one another to attack you. Like people call one another to eat from their dish. Okay, so they're going to say, you know, that the enemies are, you're going to be such an easy target, essentially, that your enemies will be calling one another Come on, this is like, you know, free
food. It's Have you ever seen what happens like the kind of crowd that that, that that will have that will come about if you announced free food, right? You know, like when you're in university, the MSA would have an event and the way they would bring people is say free food on the flyer in caps, right? Because it brings a crowd when you say free food, okay, people love free food. And so here look at this Hadith, the prophet SAW Selim is saying that you become such an easy target that that people will call one another your enemies call one another and say like, Look, there's some free food here, let's attack the Muslims. And when we see here that attack doesn't just mean
physical attack. But but we can understand this to mean any kind of attack we can we can understand this to be assemble phobia, we can understand this to be the way in which Muslims are treated the way in which it becomes not only easy but politically convenient, and and actually can get you ahead in in in politically by attacking Muslims. So it's not just something that's easy, but it actually it gives you political capital. And this is the state that we're in right now, that the prophets I send them mentioned more than 1400 years ago, that that that the enemies will call one another to attack you, like people call one another to eat from their dish. Now the companions asked him, is it
because we will be small in number and he responded and said no, you actually won't be small in number, you will be larger number. Does this sound familiar? You will actually be large in number but look, listen carefully to what the prophets I send him says he is diagnosing the source of our of our weakness, he is diagnosing the root cause of our weakness. He says this he says that the the fear will be taken out of the hearts of your enemy. You don't people won't fear you people won't even respect you. That will be taken out of the hearts of your enemies and in your hearts will be put something called one. Okay. Now, before I define what one is, there's another part of the head
if I want to mention and that is that the prophets I send them said that you will be like the frost on the ocean. The reason I mentioned this is because it's related to this concept of thought bustles, of waiting of postponing of procrastinating it's like it's like a it's like when you're just waiting for the latest. You know kind of like waiting for where is the tide gonna take me? You know you're just waiting for Where's everyone else going? What's in fashion, right? That's how we we dress. You know that's that's how we figure out how to dress
Without principle, right, like, like, if something is in fashion, we just go with it. And and and, and that's not to say there's anything wrong with with with, you know being fashionable, but do we have some sort of foundation Do we have some sort of criteria of what aspects of fashion we will take, and what aspect of fashion we we will reject. But we just kind of go with the flow. That's the concept, that's the, the imagery that the prophets I send him is giving here is it's a very go with the flow kind of attitude, right? The frost on the ocean, if you if you look at the the sea, you see that on the top of the waves, there's like these little bubbles, they don't actually have any self
determination. They don't, they don't decide where they go, the tide takes it right, the tide decides. And so these people, that that, that the prophets I send them is describing here will be like that, that they just go with the flow, they go with the trend, they go with the fashion, they go with the tide, that there's no strength, there's no hima there, there's no, there's no discipline, self discipline, there's no self determination, but it's just like, let's go with wherever everyone else is going, right? going with the crowd. And, and now when he describes the reason for that, he said that there is a disease that is put in the hearts. And that disease is
called warhead. And when he he defines this word, he calls he defines it in this way, he says, hug the dunya will cut our hair to mouth, this is the definition, it is the love of this life. It is the materialistic that that materialistic type of attitude, that love of dunya, where we worship, the the the things of dunya and what are here to melt and the hatred of death. So it is a people who are so attached to the material world, that it has made them like the froth of the ocean, it has made them so weak, it has made them so susceptible to the attacks of their enemies from every direction. And, and again, this this is in terms of socially, politically, you know, actually, physically,
militarily in every way, it become weak. And the cause of that is, is this disease in the heart, which is hoping dunya and cutterhead, workarea, to melt, when we become so attached to this life, that we worship, the material things. And when I say worship, the material things, you know, we don't have to build a statue made of gold, to worship dunya. But we it's very, it's much more subtle than that, when we make the most important thing in our life, our money. When we build societies based on money, and wealth and status. That is what is being described here, that is worship of wealth, we don't need to bow down to wealth to worship wealth. But when we when we will do anything
for money, even compromise our values, even you know, bomb, occupy, kill, steal anything to get more money and power, that is the worship of money, that's taking money and making it a god. And when we live in a society that is based on that, then the very foundation is going to be unjust, the very foundation is oppressive. And that's because at the root it is a love, it is a duty it is it is it is the love of this life hope begonia and that becomes the foundation for which by which the you know, the the entire society is based and built upon. And so these people that that are described here, they a lot less pantalla describes that they they they procrastinated, they waited, you know,
they waited for things to be more convenient to be more fashionable to be, you know, the trends. They just waited for the flow, right? And if the flow goes one way they go. And if the flow turns around, they go another direction. And so this is one of the ways in which these people who were with believers, they end up without light on the Day of Judgment. So the first was that they they put themselves into fitna they they put themselves into situations that led them astray, situations of fitness situations that were not good situations that ended up taking them away from the path. Second is that they procrastinated, they waited around, they didn't take action. They were not among
the savvy phone.
From the people who are racing to, to, to please Allah subhanaw taala. You know, it's interesting because this, this description is given many times in the end this concept of racing right? In another section of the Quran in surah. Allah Emraan Allah subhanaw taala says West sad Yo, lm ophira to me, Robbie como genoten Otto has some words on us. And here
alesse saying, He's saying stereo and here again, it's that it's that concept of racing. Allah subhanaw taala is not telling us, you know, walk, crawl, you know, take your time, he's saying race towards the forgiveness of your Lord was sad to illamasqua the mirror have become wider net. And, and and, and, and heavens. So Allah Subhana Allah is telling us to race not to take our time not to go with the flow, not to wait for the tide or the fashion, but to race towards the forgiveness of our Lord and paradise on to have semi wet will or the expanse of the heavens in the earth. Or that will not decay, it's been saved. For the people of taqwa the people who have God consciousness,
okay, now in this, in this section of sort of Allah and Ron, Allah subhanaw taala goes on to explain who those people are. All right, and the Vienna so these are the people now the description comes next.
There are the people who give in the one that they give in it when it's easy, and when it's hard, okay.
And, and this is important to note, because it re iterates this concept of not just waiting for things to to be easy, not just waiting for to go with the flow, or the trend or the tide. But to be principled, when it is difficult. And when it is easy when no one is doing it, and when everyone is doing it. And this is what distinguishes the true believer, from the hypocrite. And that that's basically what we're describing here is what distinguishes a person with, with, with a, a sound, well grounded on Park, and a person whose heart is one way when it's easy, and is another way when it's difficult. And so here an idiom fiscalnote for Sonra. He was dumb wah. So they they they they
give when it's when it's easy. And when it's hard, there are people who don't only worship a lot when everyone else is doing it. And it's simple. When can we meet in a live while our finance business and the people who control their anger. Okay, so here, and I want to just explain, give us an overview of what I'm doing here, right? On the one hand in the description about sort of that Hades, this is these are the things that brought a person out of the light into darkness, right? And sort of Enron that I'm speaking about now it's talking about the people who Allah is is describing as an macduffie. In who this Heaven, that's the expanse of heavens and earth has been saved for
Well, I had that little duckling and then Allah is describing their characteristics. Okay. Now, the first characteristic of those people was that they gave, you know, again, this concept of, of charity, service giving with your hand when it's easy, and when it's hard. When Kathy Mina late, that's the second one. And that is the people who control their anger. You know, one thing that I've noticed is that
when we become triggered, when something is very emotional, when something is very deep and personal, it is very hard to control our rage, it is very difficult to control our anger. And this is one of those necessary ingredients is the ability to control one's anger and rage, such that it does not make you transgress the boundaries of Allah subhanaw taala because rage can make you transgress. So at katomina life when I feel any mess, and then those who pardon and forgive the people. So the concept of forgiveness, you know where that is relevant? Well, we'll see now and in us, blow your head with my sin. And Allah loves the people of sn when levena when Medina is a file
for his shots and l varnamo. enforceable. Now this gets so deep, right, because now the next part of the description of the people who the the agenda is waiting for
Are the people who when they commit a fat hisher Now those of you who are familiar with the Arabic language aphasia is a very, very disgraceful, shameless sin. So, that's kind of surprising that in talking and describing the book decayed the people of taqwa and the blessing in the people of sn, Allah is saying that they might actually commit officia at some point in their life, that that description is in the description of the people who genders waiting for the people who have Taqwa of God consciousness, and the people of sn How is that possible? See, this is where I really, really believe that we
we've gone off track in the way that we teach about spirituality, we've gone off track in the way that we teach about religion, because the way we teach about spirituality and religion is that religion is only for perfect people, that spirituality is only for perfect people, that if you're human, then you don't belong in our club, right? This is as if Islam is a club. For angels. It's a club for perfect people. And
the reason why that's so dangerous is because it's, it's false. And what it does is it creates a false sense of false expectation which no one can reach of being perfect. But when you actually look at the end, you find that when Allah subhanaw taala is talking about these, these amazing people who have gender waiting for them, and he describes them as being God conscious, and he describes them as having a son. He says that they may commit a fissure that if they commit a fire hisher is shameless sin.
What do they do? And now here is the focal point, right? When we're talking about spirituality, we have to focus on what do these people do after? Because that's what distinguishes the people who will be successful from the people who will fail, is what do you do after you commit a fire shot or after you you commit a sin? A Lost Planet Allah says, What is the final fire he shot an elven vulnerable and fulsome that if the if they commit a fetishize shameless sin, or they wrong their own selves? Why does Allah say wrong their own souls? because anytime we commit a sin, we are not wronging God, we are not wronging Allah subhanaw taala we're not hurting a law, we're hurting our
own selves. So it's an oppression against our own self when we commit a sin. So let's say that if they commit a fascia, a shameless dis, you know, disgraceful sin,
or are they wrong, their own cells, what do they do? Lakota law was stuff.
They remember a law that's step one, and they seek forgiveness for their sins. These are a people of the stepfather. These are a people not of perfection, but a people of his default, a people of repentance. A people who always come back to Allah subhanaw taala, and, and repent and seek forgiveness and keep going, they don't give up when they find out, they're human, they don't give up when they slip, they don't slip and say, okay, since I slipped, let me just stay here, right, I you know, this very profound statement, you don't drown by falling into the sea, you drown by staying there, right? So if I were to, if anyone were to fall into the ocean, it's not falling into the
ocean, that that's gonna drown you. It's deciding to stay there, it's deciding not to get back out, that will drown a person. So we can't just sit there when we slip. We can't just give up and despair and say, You know what, I've made such a mistake that I might as well just give up. I might as well take off my hijab. Now, because I'm so bad. And, and I don't deserve to wear hijab, or I'm not, you know, sometimes there's this narrative that
you have to be perfect to wear hijab, right? Like, like, Oh, no, first I need to, you know, do ABCD and become an angel, and then I'll put on hedges, right? Well, that's never going to happen, because we're never going to be perfect. And so these people, they out of despair, they give up on these things that they're trying to do for the sake of Allah, just because they weren't perfect, but no one is perfect, right. And so some people, you know, they might say, well, I might as well take off my hijab. Now, because I made this, this mistake, or I committed this sin, or I keep committing this sin. So let me take off my hijab. Well, shaitan is having a blast now. Because what he's trying to
do is make you give up, and he's trying, he's he's seen you fall, like we all fall like that's part of being human right? But he's seen you fall and he's just like, Yeah, yes, stay there. Right.
Like he sees you fall, so you fell into the ocean. I get it, we all do. But his job is to make sure you stay there. So he'll say, you know what you've committed so much. Now you've done such a bad thing. You're so far from a lot, just stay where you're at, you know what I mean? stop praying, you know, you might as well just take off your hijab, you might as well stop, you know, hanging out with the people at the masjid. You might as well stop trying to pretend you're all religious, you know, stop being so to face, you know, and just just be who you really are. Right? Which is like, really interesting, because why is it that disobeying a law is me being who I really am. That's what I
thought he wants you to think. He wants you to believe that this is authenticity, right?
Like, like, if I just stopped trying to worship a law, right, give up my my, my acts of worship, give up my hijab, give up my prayer, give up my good company, that that's me being real. You know what I mean? Like, he will deceive you and make you think these things. But his whole, his whole purpose is just to keep you down. He saw you fall and he wants you to stay there till you drown. That's his objective very simply. And and his objective is in a secret because it's in the core and his objective is clearly stated in the end. And in fact, a lot tells us that that he believes will come on the Day of Judgment. And he'll be like a by the way, I like to like By the way, you You're
the one you only have yourself to blame a Honda shaitan Roland Napa deal on in nama, Hawa. dakumar they'll have. He's like shaitan says this is sort of the Brahim shaitan says, After everything's decided, meaning there's nothing you can do about it now. It was Allah who promised you the promise of truth, right? He says in the law, the con was that it was a lost promise that was true. Well, I have to confess I love to come. And I also promised you But yeah, I lied. Yeah, I broke my promise to you. One that can lie on a common Soufan, and inner and outer come up to listen to this. He says I actually had no power over you.
Except to call you and you listen to me. You, You You You still came. You said to me, I didn't have any power over you. I gave you the promise of truth. I promise but I broke my promise.
And listen, I mean, this is shikon coming clean. Like he's just he's telling you, and it's not a secret. It's in the Quran. It's ensuited. Ebrahim, look it up, study it know what shaitan is gonna say. He says that Allah gave you the true promise, I promise you, but I broke my promise to you. And I had no power over you. You can't say shaitan made me do it because he actually has no power, except to call us except to whisper
to me, but you still listen to me. fenetre, Luna, Luna, and first of all, so don't blame me blame yourself. That's deep. But that's the reality. So when we make a mistake, and this is what Allah is describing here, he said, that if they commit a fashion, or they wrong themselves, when they fall into the ocean, they don't stay there, they as quickly as possible, they get back up the cotulla they remember Allah was thoughtfully them over him, and they seek forgiveness for their sin. And then Allah says, and who is it that can forgive the sins but Allah and now remember that at the end of the day, it says
that they do not persist in that sin as much as they can. So they do not persist in that sin. While they know now, right? They do everything in their power to stay away from that fat tissue that that shameless, you know, when someone really, really wants to turn their life around and really wants to repent, the last part of that, that that sincere repentance is, is the, the commitment, you know, as much as you can, to not go back to that. So that is also part of the formula. And of course, if one were to slip back into that sin, they don't, they don't stay there. Remember, when they fall they don't stay down, they get back up. That's how Allah is describing these people who will be the
people of Jenna that Otto has somehow that's one of the the agenda that's expanse is the heavens and the earth. Now finally, and I'll wrap up inshallah, with this, is we've talked now about the characteristics of the the ones who will have this this this agenda saved for them, the people who Allah subhanaw taala describes in the Quran as obtain and and mursaleen. The ones the people of taqwa and the people have said. Now, let's go back to what are the traps
That made the people who were with the believers lose that light and end up in darkness on the Day of Judgment. So the first one to repeat is potential and full circle you put yourself into fitna without a Bustan you just waited around you know to just go with the flow.
What's our bus system? Water bottle and you doubted you constantly doubted everything. You doubted the words of Allah subhanaw taala you doubted everything that came, you know that you were told in the book what you were told about the sun now what you were told about your deen you doubted. So these people fell into doubt. And that was one of the traps that led them out of that light into the darkness on the Day of Judgment.
100 not coming. So we said
potential enforcer con What are Bustan whatever Tomoko Roscommon m&e had that gentleman was and you were deceived by false hopes, you were deceived by false hopes, you know, when people think that, um, I mean, there's an attitude out there, you know, which is, yeah, I can do whatever I want, you know, I spoke a little bit about at the beginning, I can do whatever I want. And then when I get to Xyz, time or age, then I'll do you know, I'll become more religious, I'll turn back to Allah, then I'll start praying, then I'll start wearing hijab, then I'll go to Hajj, you know, or whatever, I'll turn my life around. But in the meantime, let me just live it up. Right. That that attitude? Is, is
is is what's being described here, that they were deceived by these false hopes, right, that at that time, I'll do it or, or, you know, what, I can do whatever I want. And just, you know, it was the most forgiving, you know, I?
Yeah, really, you know, there recently,
there was a case of, of someone who was basically entering into a totally haotong relationship. Right. And, and they were being advised, right, that this is actually forbidden. You know, and I won't go into detail about what that is, and why. But this is, it was a it was a, it was a it was a long relationship, it was something that would not be recognized as a Helen relationship. And their response was, well, Allah is the Most Merciful. That's an example. Yes, Allah is the most merciful, absolutely. But when we boldly and and and almost arrogantly enter into things, which we know are hot, um, and we and we're thinking, Oh, I'll do whatever I want. Allah is the most First of all,
that's what's described in this essay, that they were deceived by these false hopes, right? That's considered a false hope because you're not actually sincere in trying to seek the mercy of Allah subhanaw taala and the forgiveness of Allah and the pleasure of Allah, you just want to do whatever you want. And whatever your hell it tells you, whatever your desires, command you, whatever, your you know, your
whatever you you feel like, and then you want your cake and eat it too kind of thing, right? You then then you you, you're basically worshiping your own desire. But then you're saying, but but also, in the end, you know, I'm still gonna get everything I want. I'm still gonna get Jenna because it was the most merciful But see, that's not the sincerity that unless counterpart is describing these are people who are being deceived by false hopes, okay, well, how on earth can be led in horror, and the the, the whole war here and the biggest of the deceivers is shaitan, that these people were deceived by the the ultimate, you know, this, this, this
mega deceiver, the one who, who has basically made it his entire life mission to deceive Benny Adam, to to take us away from the straight path and to deceive us. And just keep in mind, and I don't have enough time to get into into the details of this. Keep in mind, as I touched upon briefly, shaitan, he doesn't come to you and say, hey, let's go to hell together, Hey, I got an idea. You know, you and me, and all of us, we can go to hell together. And here's how we're going to do it.
We're gonna, you know, commit how we're going to commit, you know, we're going to be in, in a lot of relationships be, we're going to take, take drugs, and then we're going to gamble, and then we're gonna, you know, we're going to steal and we're gonna lie, and this isn't how shaitan approaches us. shaitan approaches us and says, No, no, actually, this is a beautiful relationship. This isn't. This isn't something bad. This is love. You know, like, he's, he's not going to make Xena, Xena, right? Like how Tom intimacy, he's not going to make it look like what it is. He's gonna make it beautified. He's gonna beautifies the next
Do you think that we fall into Zina? Because we see it for what it is? Do you think that we that we have so many, you know, lives being destroyed, I mean, my husband, he does marital coaching, and, and coaching for men and, and just the amount of lives that come in shambles to him, because of really like a lifestyle of zinna. I mean, that's one of the main reasons that people end up destroying their their relationships, whether it's infidelity, or it's the types of relationships they have outside or before marriage, it's, it's these people are coming in pieces that their lives are in pieces, because of this lifestyle. And shaitan didn't come in and show you what it really is,
you know, like the dating culture, that we don't see it for what it really is, he beautifies it, he makes it look attractive to us. And that's what eloheinu means is that he is the ultimate deceiver, he is he's good at what he does, he's not stupid in the sense that he's not going to make you season up for what it is, he's not going to make you see, you know, giving into our, our desires that are that are against the shediac for what it is, he's going to, he's going to paint it as love, you know, he's going to say that whatever desire you have, you should obey it, because that's you being true to yourself, right, he's not going to come and say you're disobeying God and and make you see
it as the destructive thing that it is, instead he is going to paint it as
your you know, you're you're, you're being authentic, you're you're you're expressing your true self, you're you're you're putting love first, you know, these are the things that he's going to use to to, to wrap something which is poisonous, something which is toxic, in in pretty shiny wrapping paper, you know, if you take poison, and you and you put it in a glittery bottle, it doesn't change that it's poison. And when you drink it, no matter how glittery The bottle is, it's still gonna kill you internally. And that's the problem with these, these lifestyle choices that we make, that are in complete contradiction to the commands of Allah subhanaw taala is every time we commit those things,
it's like drinking poison. And no matter how much you beautify the bottle, it doesn't change the content of the poison, and it doesn't change what it does to your heart. And so it's extremely important that we realize shaitan is he knows what he's doing he deceives us 100 can be a little rude that, that
a Allah and this is this is actually in another section in the quarter and where where he also deceives us about Allah, this deceiver, he's described as the the one who deceives he deceives us about the the way we live our lives, but he also deceives us about Allah subhanaw taala and who he is. So we asked Allah subhanaw taala for protection from being deceived and from falling into these traps, that would take away our light and have us you know, just begging for light on the Day of Judgment. At a time when we be desperate for light we have the opportunity right now to to embrace that light, the light of Allah subhanaw taala is of of his book of of his Deen of the example of the
prophets I send them and the more that we follow the instructions given to us by our Creator, the more we will be successful in this life and the next Allah knows his creation and and he has given us the entire roadmap. In his book and in the in the life of the prophets. I send them an example of the prophets I send them mail las panatela and make it easy for us to be among the foremost as said before and to not be among those who lagged behind waiting for you know the latest trend or for the tide to take us politically. Heather was stuck for a lot. He will come in no sooner Rahim subhanak Alo be hemmed up a shadow and La Ilaha Illa and istockphoto quwata to like
just like a less mysterious noon. We really appreciate your time.
If Do you think we have time for questions? I can go ahead and take a few yes inshallah. Okay. I'm going to look at some of the questions that have come up here. Okay. And
person from the audience is asking, please talk about things that prevent you from entering Jana. I think you already touched this
in just a few sentences really because it's quite quite a straightforward. There is no sin. And I'll repeat this, there is no sin that can prevent you from entering Jenna solo.
As you repent,
that's it, there is no sin that will prevent you from entering Jenna, so long as you repent. Now sometimes people get confused because of the area that talks about ship. Right now this area that says that a lot can forgive anything except for ship. This is referring to dying upon those sins. So if a person dies upon ship, that's what the A A is referring to, that that person cannot repent after they've died upon ship. However, even ship if you repent before you die, it can be forgiven. Think about people who weren't Muslim. Think about people who used to say a lot had a son. They're called Christians, when they become Muslim. That's all forgiven. So their * is forgiven. Right?
The person who didn't even believe in God who was an atheist when they become Muslim, again, that is forgiven. So even should can be forgiven if you repent before you die.
I think you're muted sister.
Oh, sorry. Sorry.
So another question came as to how to distinguish ourselves. So oftentimes, you know, we need to assess ourselves. So how do we distinguish ourselves from the people who are, you know, on the right and when we go into the people with the fitness trainer? Hmm. Okay. So this person is basically asking about something called Morocco. Morocco means to hold oneself accountable to to reflect about what about oneself to, to look inward, and this is something necessary, everyone has to do this. If you do not monitor yourself, you will go off track. You know, let me just give you an analogy. If you're driving, and you never stop to check the GPS, never maybe we started out on the right path.
But you never again, check the GPS or you never again, you know, look at the map, or you never read the street signs is you're gonna end up off track. So you have to be assessing the situation constantly Am I am I on the right track? And if you look and you find out Oh, I got off track. That's okay, as long as you make a U turn, right. And that's what Toba is. That's literally what Toba is, Silva means to return, it's to turn up, it's to return it's to come back to Allah subhana wa. Tada. So it's a constant process of evaluating ourselves and returning, evaluating and returning, evaluating and returning, how do you evaluate, evaluate yourself? Well, you have to
evaluate yourself based on the criteria given to us by Elon is messenger Simple as that you have to look and say, am I following
forget the people around you don't compare yourself to the people around you. Because if you're with a bunch of atheists, you're good. No matter what you're doing, you're going to look real good to yourself, you know. So the point here is, is comparing yourself to what to what a lot is messenger told you to do, don't just go with the flow of what people around you are doing. So in this Morocco, you have to be careful that What are you comparing yourself to, don't compare yourself to your culture, don't compare yourself to the people in your family, don't compare yourself to the people around you and your society. compare yourself to what a line is messenger said to do. And if you are
finding that you're going off track, then then you need to make a U turn. That's what tilba is. That's what you know, in ABA is is to come back to Allah subhanaw taala when we realize that we're off track, and I want you also one last thing to mention here is that if you evaluate yourself, and you come to the conclusion that you are awesome, that you are just amazing that you're just you're there, then I can tell you that there's a deep problem. We we never ever get to a point where we've just we've reached that point where we're just we've arrived, right? That never happens. And if you think that it has happened, then unfortunately, that's a sign of arrogance. So there's always more
that we can do to improve
in just that way. Yeah.
I think one more question that has come up and a couple of them are repetition, so I'm not sure you can combine.
So somebody is asking what is the best way to ask forgiveness from people if you have heard them?
So the best way to ask forgiveness from people, if you've heard them, I it really depends on the situation. Okay? If it's if it's a harm that they know about, so there's
Two kinds of harms, right? There's a harm that you did to someone that they know you did. Yeah. And then there's a harm that you did to someone that they don't know that you did. All right. Now, if they know that you did it, then approaching them directly, and seeking their forgiveness is the best way. Tell them I, you know, I seek your forgiveness, I, you know, I regret what I've done, I asked a lot to forgive me, and I asked you to forgive me, okay. And then also make dua for that person. And, you know, for their success in this life and the next and for their forgiveness. Now, in cases where that person does not know about the harm that you did, and that could be various different things,
Number one, if it is if there's something you can do to rectify that wrong, do it, for example, maybe you stole something from someone, you need to give that back, you need to give that thing back are the equivalent of that thing back to rectify that wrong, in addition to seeking forgiveness. Now, what if it's something that if there isn't something you can give back? I mean, if there's something you can do to rectify it, do it, like, like, I'll give you another example. You You slandered that person or you backbiting about that person. And as a result, you turn someone else against them, okay. So in that case, you would want to write as much as you can rectify that go back
to that person who you who you told the lie to, or who you who you backbiting about this person to and and tell them I was wrong, you know, try to rectify say, actually, this person, you know, is a good person, and I was wrong in saying this distance. So you tried to make it better in that way. That's one of the ways to, to to mend that wrong, okay. And then there's some cases where there isn't maybe anything you can do or maybe you've done everything you can to try to mend it, or maybe there isn't something you can do to mend it. In that case, keep asking a lot for forgiveness, and ask a lot to forgive that person. It's, it's because sometimes in some cases, it depends on the
situation. In some cases, you might cause more harm going and telling that person what you did that they didn't know about, right? So for example, going up to you know, a really good friend of yours and saying, by the way, I spent the last 10 years backbiting about you, just so you know. So that probably won't do too much good for that relationship. At this point. You have to also use hikma if you use wisdom, and where it's appropriate to tell that person whatever harm you've done, but at the same time trying to mend it, trying to rectify it. And for sure making the offer that person as well as making to offer forgiveness.
We can take control less and more. If If you have Okay,
so, one person is asking how do we understand the father of Allah and incorporate it in our lives?
The other Yeah, meaning like divine destiny, predestination or the power
thing behind decreed by different degree, okay. So how do we understand it? Okay? The The best way to understand other is that Allah knows everything.
And Allah is not limited by time.
Allah knows everything and it was not limited by time. What does that mean? It means that Allah subhanaw taala already knows what we're going to do. And Allah subhanaw taala already knew before we you know, even before that the world was created. Why? Because it was not limited inside of time we are okay.
What is our job? Our job is to to keep doing our best. We cannot say that, oh, Allah has already decided it for me. So what's the point in me trying? Because Allah has not decided everything for us. Yes, there are certain things that Allah decides, and we have no say in it. For example, when we're born, to whom we are born to the color of our skin, the you know, the way we look, these are not things that we decide these are Allah handed them to us. And Allah will never, ever judge us for these things. Right? Anything that is not in our, you know, our hands to have any influence on is not something we are judged upon. We are only judged upon the things that we do have a choice and,
for example, whether we decide to get up and pray legit. We can't say we can't blame a lot that we didn't get up in precision. That was our choice. Allah gave us the capacity to choose. There are some things Allah gives us the capacity to choose in. And there's some things that we don't, but in in anything that we are judged upon. By definition, we had the capacity to choose. So we have the capacity whether or not to believe
we have the capacity whether or not to obey. We have the these are things we have trouble
And we don't say this is the decision of a lion. We didn't have a choice, we had a choice, but Allah has knowledge already encompassed all of our choices.
Just one more question that has come up is how do we deal with moments when we feel that there is no light in front of us? We feel like giving up and when we lack motivation, hmm. Okay, excellent question. And as that question was coming, I saw another question pop up, which I will inshallah combine because they're related. And and and so the question was about when we feel we don't feel motivated, we feel like we're surrounded with darkness. We don't know how to get ourselves out of that situation. That's number one. The second question was about how do we how are we? How can we be kinder to ourselves, you know, because sometimes when we, when we falter, we feel shame in front of
a lot. Like we don't deserve the love and forgiveness of a very deep questions, I'll do my best inshallah. Um, first of all, when we feel consumed with darkness, and we don't feel motivated, what can we do?
I will give you practical steps here, okay. And we have to, like, take these on board, if we are to bring ourselves out of this darkness, all right. So, um,
when something goes wrong with the human being, the human being is in despair, or the human being is in severe pain, we have to look at all aspects of the human being, in order to diagnose the problem, in order to cure the problem, the human being is made up of different parts. All right, number one, the human being has a physical self, we have the body, we have the chemical part, we have the biological part. Number two, the human being has a soul, the, the spiritual part number three, the human being has a mind, this is the cognitive or the psychological aspect of the human being. And number four, the human being has an environment that the what's around that human being, and that
has an influence on the human. So for parts that influence the human being, that is the physical or the biological, the spiritual, of the psychological, or mental and the environmental, when something goes wrong. When a person finds themselves in darkness, when a person finds themselves in despair, we have to look at all three, all four of these categories to find where the break is. This is very important. Oftentimes, people say things like especially, you know, they're well meaning people say, you know, if you're depressed, just pray.
Well, while that is partly true, it isn't taking into account the other aspects of that human being. Maybe that human being is in an environment that is toxic and abusive, that person can pray day and night. But so long as they continue in an environment that is toxic and abusive, they will continue to suffer. And so we can't just look at one aspect of the human being, we have to look at all four. And so if you find yourself in darkness, you have to look at these four elements of your life and say, where's the break? Where Where is the problem that I need to fix? And maybe it's in more than one element? Is it a biological problem? Is it a spiritual problem? Is it a mental or psychological
problem? Or is it an environmental problem? Or is it a combination of these things. And once you ascertain where the break is, then you go and you need to mend it. And it's very important to that I point this out, there is no shame in seeking therapy. There's no shame in going and getting help. There are a lot of people, I'm just going to put this because I have seen this again and again and again. And this is something that both myself and my husband have dealt with a lot in counseling and in helping people to heal is there's a lot of people who are suffering from old wounds. There's a lot of people who they're looking right now, I'm in darkness, I'm suffering, I'm depressed, but
they're not realizing that their current condition is due to very old wounds. Maybe there was abuse in their childhood. Maybe there was trauma in their past, and that trauma and that abuse has not been healed. It has not been addressed even know there's this person has like taken a gunshot wound and put a bandaid on it. And then once they start to feel pain and and infection and and they wonder what's wrong. The problem is that there's a wound there that hasn't been addressed. And so I want to really point out that there's no shame in getting help to address these wounds. These wounds whether they are abuse from their past, a psychological issues, or trauma that hasn't been healed or
addressed. But this is essential.
Because I cannot tell you how many people their suffering today is actually rooted years ago. It's rooted in trauma, it's rooted in abuse, and no one's talked about it. No one's no one's addressed it. And part of it is because of shame. And that brings me to the second part of the question, or the the second question, which is, how do I deal with this shame, the shame you know, we unfortunately, we as a Muslim community, and especially culturally, we, we drown our children in shame we teach them to be ashamed. Shame is not part of our religion, by the way, and I'm tired of people translating high yet as shame high yet is not shame. It's not is the actual current modern
usage in the psychology field of the word shame is not a positive thing is not high yet. High yet you can say modesty. And there's different layers of that. But shame in the psychological lexicon is not a positive thing. Shame is something that that keeps you down. Shame is a chain that you put around yourself and it debilitates you shame is something that keeps you away from Allah subhanaw taala. It's not positive, we shouldn't be teaching it. We shouldn't be encouraging it. Shame happens when when there's something perhaps that hasn't been healed. There's a wound that hasn't been healed, there's there's there's unprocessed unhealed trauma. And and sometimes people don't seek
help, they don't go they think it's shameful to seek help. It's shameful to go to a psychologist or or to get a therapist. And that that is absolutely wrong. There is no, there's no shame in that. In fact, you can be rewarded by Allah subhanaw taala, for taking the means in order to heal. So, again, I repeat, we have to go to the root of this problem. I can't just give a bandaid solution, we have to go to the root of Why are you in that despair? Why are you in darkness? Why don't you have that motivation. And when you when you when you address something at the root, that's how you can how you can solve it right? I can, I can have,
you know, God forbid a disease, like heart disease, or someone can have a tumor. And every time they feel the pain from that tumor, if they just pop a painkiller, it's not going to solve the root of that pain, but the root cause of that pain, we have to go back and address that our suffering, you're describing suffering, we have to go and address the suffering at the root. What happened to put you in that situation? What is happening now sometimes it's our environment that's causing you to be it's your environment that's causing you to be in darkness that's causing you the anxiety and the depression that you're in? Are you in an abusive relationship? Are you in a toxic home
environment, and if you aren't, you need to get yourself out of that situation. You can't expect to be healthy. If you're in an abusive environment, it's as simple as that. It's impossible. We can't be in poison, you know, drinking poison and swimming and poison, and then ask why am I sick? Right? It doesn't make sense. So you have to go and address what where is the break so that we can can cure it? And if the if the problem is spiritual, then address it at that level? Are you praying? Are you are you remembering Allah? subhanaw? taala? Are you? Are you have you moved away from the book of Allah? Have you turned Have you stopped reading the Quran, have you stopped reflecting on it, you
know, have you stopped praying prayer is the oxygen of the heart, if you're not praying, you're definitely not going to be healthy. So these are the types of things that we have to look at. But it isn't just a simple, you know, Band Aid solution, we have to start looking at the human being as complex and then also look at the root cause of our pain, we have to stop just numbing it, we have to stop just putting a filter on it, right? a mask, right? We have got so many filters, you know, online, that we can just filter our lives, we can make it look perfect when it's broken. And that's not going to solve anything, it's not going to solve our problems, because our problems have to be
solved at the root.
Does that and then there was another question about youth as to how to strengthen our youth mentally. And another question that came up how do we let our youth leader you to love Islam and you know, do the things that they need us to do? So I kind of combined those two questions. Okay, so one was about how to strengthen them mentally. And the other one was, how do we lead them to love Islam? Great. Okay, I'm just going to give the answer basically, and one main thing that we need to do, and that is that when we are raising our children, we have to stop this narrative of a law being the wrathful Allah is just waiting to
To punish you just talking about Hellfire hat, um, how long? How long? How long and how long? I, you know, I recently got a message, an email from a sister who's who's suffering from this right now she lives in a home where she was raised and continues to be in this situation where her parents are, you know, they taught her in a way where everything is how long that that she could that Islam is was something very narrow. And when we teach our children in this way about our Deen, unfortunately it backfires. And it makes them not want to have anything to do with Deen and not want to have anything to do with Allah subhanaw taala. So we have to stop doing that. We have to stop teaching
our children that they are supposed to be perfect. We have to stop teaching our children that they're supposed to be perfect. And this is also a cultural problem that we have. I mean, culturally to in many cultures, you know, many cultures, many cultures. Yeah, um, we teach our children that you better be perfect. And not only you better be perfect, but you better make sure that everyone in the community thinks you're perfect. That's like the most important part, right? Even if you're not perfect, you better pretend that you're perfect. It better appear that you're perfect, right? Because God forbid that anyone would think that our family has problems, right? And God forbid that
anyone would, you know, get divorced? Because then what are the people gonna say? What are what are the people gonna think of us, we have this very toxic obsession, not with solving problems, not with getting to the root of our suffering, but just keeping face. We have an obsession with keeping face with keeping a certain image in front of people write and we teach it to our children that's toxic. We can't expect our children to be healthy psychologically, or spiritually or in any way, if we're teaching them to be obsessed with the opinions of others, if we're teaching them that it's more important to appear perfect than it is to actually address your issues at the root. So what I would
say in a nutshell, is teach the children teach your children to, to love Allah subhanaw taala not just to fear Allah, not just that Allah subhanaw taala is waiting to punish them, but rather that Allah subhanaw taala is waiting to forgive them, teach them hope. Don't just teach them about about how Tom don't just teach them about Hellfire, teach them about hope and mercy and Allah subhanho data because
Allah says that his mercy supersedes His wrath. And we need to stop teaching the opposite. We need to stop teaching that his wrath supersedes His mercy, mercy, God forbid, Allah is not just waiting to put us in hell, Allah is actually looking for any excuse to forgive us and put us in heaven. And that's the concept of a law we act to teach our children we can't, we can't teach them this wrong concept of a lot and then expect them to be okay. And we definitely can't teach them that they have to be perfect. And if they have a problem, just put a filter on it, just put a mask on it, just sweep it under the rug, just put a bandaid on the gunshot wound, and everything's gonna be okay. We
can't teach them that and expect them to be okay.
Because I can love. And I think we'll take one last question. This is about, do you think people generally use a spiritual band aid to solve psychological issues and these need to be separated?
As I mentioned before, the human being is complex, we cannot say that the human being is only one aspect, Allah Subhana, Allah created the human being as a soul, a body, a mind, and the environment, okay? All of these things contribute to the health of the human being. And so we can't take a person who is suffering, because they're, for example, in an abusive home, and tell them just keep praying, and expect that, that that's going to solve their problem. Because, yes, they need to pray. And yes, prayer is, in fact, the oxygen of the heart. But even if your heart is fully oxygenated, but you are drinking poison, or someone is coming and force feeding you poison, you're not going to be okay. If
someone is abusing that individual, if that person is in an emotionally or, or verbally, psychologically, or physically abusive relationship, even if they're praying night and day, it's not going to solve that issue. And so we have to look at our problems as multifaceted. Similarly, similarly, psychologically, there are people who mesh a lot, they pray and they fast and they report on day and night. But those same people may not be healthy psychologically, and I'll explain what I mean Mashallah.
They may be healthy spiritually, in as much as we can, we can see or or or presume. But psychologically, they may not be healthy. Let me explain.
For example, maybe that person went under or under had undergone abuse in their childhood or at some point in their life, they went through some trauma, and that trauma was not healed. And as a result of that abuse, it made them have very, very low self esteem. Okay, so basically, these people have a lot of this person has a lot of self loathing, they hate themselves, they don't feel that they are worthy of anything good. Now, when that person goes, and they may read the Quran, and they may pray and fast and they're spiritually they're taking care of, you know, the, everything they're supposed to do and more, but psychologically, they're not healthy. Maybe they suffer a lot from negative self
talk, you know, they they talk to themselves in a very demeaning way. Oh, you know, I'm so worthless. I don't deserve you know, I don't deserve love. Maybe, maybe they feel that they don't deserve the love of the people around them. I don't deserve good things. Maybe I don't even deserve the love of Allah, no matter what I do, I still don't deserve the love of Allah. And if they make a small mistake, Oh, now I don't deserve the forgiveness of Allah. Why are Why is this person thinking this way because psychologically, they are not healthy psychologically, there's been a
some sort of trauma perhaps, that made them think negative about themselves or made them fall into patterns of negative thinking. And And so that has to be healed at a psychological level. And it can't only be healed through a spiritual you know, spiritual practice, but even psychologically that has to be held
under ledges like unless
there's one person requesting has sent this question a couple of times so I'm going to keep this as the last one, how should we deal with things we want but are not meant to be for us? Even after making our do if our hearts keep clinging and longing for those things? How do we deal with that?
Okay, um, I would look at this as a
as a wound, okay. Um, and and, and the reason I say that is because Allah subhanaw taala heals all wounds, I would say that this person, we could look at this as you know, that someone has a heart sickness, not that they are sick, but that their their, their love sick for hot, perhaps maybe they they got very attached to something that is not meant for them, whether that, let's assume that it's another person, okay. And that person is not meant for them, or whatever it is, whatever outcome it is that they became attached to it is not meant for them. We would look at that situation as like, like a love sickness. Now, how do we cure any sickness? Really? And the answer is by going back to
Allah subhanaw taala. Allah is a Shafi remember that Allah subhanaw taala is the one who heals and cures any sickness, including sicknesses, emotional sicknesses, and including love sickness. And so what that person should do is go back to Allah subhanaw taala and beg Allah to remove that sickness or that attachment from the heart and to increase in the remembrance of Allah subhanaw taala and in prayer, specifically, to hedges prayer to hedged prayers, like going to the emergency room, okay. It helps you to heal much much quicker and there are doors that you can say for healing one that that that were taught by the prophets I send them Aloma vaness as even best as she anta Shafi now she
fell in love, she felt okay she felt and now your mother Sakuma. This is a drive for overall healing. And this drive can also be used for emotional healing. Keep asking Allah subhanaw taala to to heal your heart and to mend your heart and to remove whatever attachment is not meant for you. And ask Allah subhanaw taala to replace whatever you cannot have or whatever you lost with what is better remember the law of cinema and repeat it as well. When home cinema lost her husband, the prophets I send them advised her to save this dot and you told her that if she says is a level replace whatever is lost with what is better. And that doula is in any Navy we're in a laburo your
own law home as your attorney fee will see but he will flee higher on minha indeed we belong to a law into a law we return Oh Allah reward me in my calamity and give me and replace what has gone with what is better. Right What what and,
and and allow whatever comes to be better than whatever whatever. You know that person has lost well
kleider ninja and bring me what is better than it. So, um, say that do I say there's a lot of healing make a lot of, you know, do I in sujood and 200, cry to Allah subhanaw taala and beg Allah to remove this unwanted attachment from your heart and be willing to let go, that's another thing is we have to sometimes we're not willing to let go, we don't want to actually let go. And, you know, sometimes that's out of fear, I guess people think, oh, if I keep holding on, then I'm gonna get it. That's not how it works. That's not how it works. Don't do that, you know, you're actually more likely to get something if you let it go like, so don't deceive yourself, to think that the more
tightly you hold on to something, the more likely you are to get it, it doesn't work like that it works the opposite. So in any in any condition, it's always better to let it go and to and to ask Allah subhanaw taala to bring you what is best, and to heal your heart realize that this is a It's a type of attachment. And it is it's very, very painful. And it can be very harmful because it can become an obsession. And, and you know, we have to be very weary of that and very cautious because we don't want anything to become an obsessive focal point. Other than obviously our Creator right, if we put something else and this is the danger of having attachments like this is they become the
focal point instead of Allah subhanaw taala and that causes a lot of damage in one's heart and in one's life. So ask Allah to cure you of it and to to give you what is good and what is best for you. And you know, these are some of the drives that you can that you can say that hold on up to 11 there's another one very, very powerful and it's the fod asking a lot for forgiveness. This is also very very powerful sending Peace and blessings on the Prophet just increasing in your Vicar and and being willing and I repeat this is being willing to let go You know, sometimes we don't let go because we don't want to let go. And we've received ourselves so you have to be willing and you have
to ask a lot that I may have lost planet Allah make it easy for you and heal all of our hearts.
if you want to do a short blog for all of us, and then inshallah we will close the session.
inshallah does ecolog care makuleke only had I was stuck for a lalibela come in Nova una Rahim. subhanak Hello behandeln eyeshadow and their Illa Illa and stuff Federico where to like, rubbish. rattly sadri Well, yes, Siddeley Omri. Why? Hello, Dr. Melissa Nia, holy. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to expand our chest. You know this law is so powerful. The law of Masada said I'm rubbish, really? Sorry. We're certainly Omri. We're headed off to them and disseny expand our chest and make all of our matters easy. And then take the knot out of our tongues. Aloma letting them have to have fun What is your net? worth adding a bottle a bottle? Um, what is your question about Oh Allah, allow us
to see truth as truth and bless us with following it and allow us to see falsehood as falsehood and bless us with staying away from it. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to keep us on the straight path. We are living at a time of fitna and we asked Allah subhanaw taala to protect us and our children from that fitna and to keep us always on the straight path in the path of the remembrance of Allah subhanho wa Taala desikan below hydron