Practical Advice To Control Anger

Yasir Qadhi


Channel: Yasir Qadhi

File Size: 9.46MB

Episode Notes

Shaykh Yasir Qadhi delves on some practical steps on how we can eliminate and dissipate anger.

  • Of the primary causes of anger is the over inflation of one’s own ego. So, humility and eliminating our ego is the key to overcoming anger.
  • Eliminating vulgar vocabulary from one’s tongue.
  • Eliminating argumentation.
  • Do not open your mouth.
Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:24--> 00:00:47

Today's brief hotter up just want to go over four or five practical points about how we can eliminate or control that anger how we can eliminate or control that anger and of the great rula will have discussed this is a mammal kazari in his haroldo Medina, on the books you will find discussions of anger, as well talks about the issue of anger and how to deal with it. Three or four basic points number one

00:00:48--> 00:01:43

of the primary causes of anger is an over inflation of our own ego. Think about it. When we value ourselves more than it is worthy to be valued. Then we became we become angry at something that we should not be angry about. If we are humble, if we are meek, if we don't have kibber, automatically, this will eliminate our anger. And that's why Allah says in the Quran, worry about the Rahman Allah Dena Yamuna and an early hona way the heart of omega hiranyakashipu Salah Hama, rebadow Rahman, the true servants of Allah are those who walk with humility in this earth. And then when the riffraff the recipient, the fools when the hooligans tried to provoke them, they say Salaam, notice, how does

00:01:43--> 00:02:28

the ayah begin? They have humility, how does the eye end when they are provoked? They say Salaam we don't need that there is a causal linkage between humility and controlling your anger, one of the main causes of anger, to be brutally honest, we need to think about that. We inflate our own pride, we have a sense of worth that is not correct. When we humble ourselves for the sake of Allah. If somebody says something, no big deal. What am I anyway, who cares? If somebody says something about us, we don't have ego in the first place. So eliminating our ego helps control our anger. That's why I showed the loved one who said the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never got angry, never

00:02:29--> 00:02:43

extracted vengeance because of a personal thing between him and somebody else. Only for the sake of Allah only for the sake of religion, that's when the anger would come not for his own self. So number one, to eliminate anger. eliminate your

00:02:44--> 00:02:50

ego, your Kibler your pride, be humble. Number two, to eliminate anger.

00:02:51--> 00:02:55

Eliminate vulgar vocabularies from your tongue.

00:02:56--> 00:03:44

Eliminate vulgar vocabularies, it is not of the etiquettes of the Muslim of the movement to use bad language, when you use bad language, the other person will increase the bad language, then you will then he then you then he and then what will happen will happen. Our Prophet sallallahu Sallam said four are the characteristics of the hypocrite and the second of them when he argues he uses foul language. Dear Muslim, and especially dear young Muslim, and especially dear teenage male, it is not cool. To utter vulgarities will lie it is not cool. It's not something that will gain you any respect. If you know curse words we all know you know curse words, what's the big deal control it?

00:03:44--> 00:04:29

Don't choose vulgarities to get your point across the moment has a clean tongue. When you use vulgarities in your state of anger, the other person will then increase it even more. And then the the whole issue of evil consequences of anger is going to come and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never uttered a vulgarity in his whole life. He did not utter anything of an indecent nature we eliminated from our tongues. Number three, to eliminate anger to eliminate the dangers of anger is the more precise Thing number three, we eliminate even argumentation. we eliminate argumentation don't argue. Just let it go. Don't argue. If you don't argue the anger is going to just dissipate

00:04:29--> 00:05:00

the fact that you have to argue the point. Now we're talking about personal issues obviously sometimes you have to be a little forceful. We're talking about any minor somebody says something about you about your appearance about your money and your ego boosts up. Just be quiet. Don't argue back lead believe it be our Prophet sallallahu I said him said I promised a house in the middle of Jenna. I promise a house dead center in gender. Listen to this for the one who avoids our

00:05:00--> 00:05:14

arguement even when he's upon the house, you have the house. But he just gives it up. Just don't argue you have the house. But you just give it up. You don't argue. Our profitsystem said, I promised that person

00:05:15--> 00:05:59

a house in the middle of Jana was not an agenda, which means simple example somebody comes and makes fun of you, the hackers with you, nobody should make fun of you. You have the right to say something to defend, you have the right to defend. But you say you know what, this person is a hot Obama guy who needs a job in my job salam, let it be, you eliminate your ego, you shut your your your your you control your anger, you don't say anything vulgar, and you stop arguing Let it be. Which leads us to the other point directly related to all of this, of the easy ways to dissipate anger, to not have the consequences of anger is you don't open your mouth. You see, here's the beauty. If anger remains

00:05:59--> 00:06:00

inside of you.

00:06:01--> 00:06:53

Even if I know it's there, it won't irritate me. I can see it, it might even amuse me. The minute you open your mouth, and you express that anger verbally, call us all hope is gone. Correct. If you notice anger in somebody, what are you going to do? Okay, you're angry. But as long as that anger is controlled within. And that's why our president said had it is authentic. When one of you gets angry, be quiet. But a simple one, if one of you gets angry, be quiet, do not speak in a state of anger. And you will automatically eliminate 99% of the arm of the anger. So Pamela, it's amazing. anger inside of you is forgiven by Allah and forgiven by mankind. Allah never says in the Quran,

00:06:53--> 00:07:38

don't get angry. Rather, Allah says praising the believers, while cow we mean alive. Those who control who conceal their anger, the benefit, or the blessing, or the high status is not in the one who never gets angry. Frankly, it's beyond my control your control to get angry. The high status is the one who conceals the anger. Well, Calvin in a lie is the one who covers up the anger. How do you cover up the anger, you don't express it simple as that. This means the other person might know that you have the anger, but you simply don't express it. In the famous Hadith of the book, The incident of the book, when the three companions stayed behind when they stayed behind, and they didn't have

00:07:38--> 00:07:57

an excuse, you know, the story, the famous one, and they came to the Prophet sallallahu. It said, finally, to make an excuse, and the first one, the one who narrates the whole story, he comes back and he said I was embarrassed that I presented myself to the process than him. And he smiled, listen to this phrase, the way that he would smile when he is angry.

00:07:59--> 00:08:44

means he knew the profitsystem was angry means they could recognize when he was angry. But it also means when he was angry, he would cover his own anger with a smile. Look at that. And they recognize the smile that he had when he is angry. He smiled at me the way that he would smile when he is angry. In other words, when we get angry, we frown, our pig. When the process of got angry. He had a special smile trying to cover that up the Sahaba they knew him so well. They knew this is the smile of when he's angry. That's his club. sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Even in his anger, he would smile while Khalili, me in Ohio, the one who conceals the anger does not bring it out. So this is of the

00:08:44--> 00:09:34

best ways to control the anger and to not show the evil effects and that is to not speak to calm down. And by the way, typing on a computer. responding to an email is exactly the same as speaking. Do not write an email when you are angry brothers and sisters. Do not respond to a Facebook post when you are angry and speak from experience. Never ever compose an email or write something or a text message or a WhatsApp message when you are angry. Calm down, relax, follow the advice of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and that is to say our rubella administrate on the regime to do will do if your anger is immense. If you're standing sit down if you're sitting lie down, do not

00:09:34--> 00:09:59

speak or write or type or answer a message in a state of anger. No one will blame you when you are angry. When you control the anger. Even if they can sense you're angry. You are not blameworthy, but the minute the anger comes out in action in argumentation in speech and text messages. That is when the effects take place. We have to be very careful of that bottom line. Dear brothers and sisters. Let's follow this video.

00:10:00--> 00:10:44

hadith of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam controlling our anger will protect us from the anger of Allah subhana wa Tada. Because when we are angry, we act foolishly. And we do things that bring pain and suffering and hurt to other people unjustly. If somebody hurt us one out of 10 in our anger, we will respond 10 out of 10. And we all know that we've all been there done that. And final point, brothers and sisters, especially spouses, especially husbands and wives, control your anger between each other, not just for the sake of your own marriage for the sake of your children. Make sure you show love and mercy and compassion. Dear brothers, dear husbands, winning an argument at

00:10:44--> 00:11:28

the loss of a marriage is not winning an argument, winning a debate with your wife at the loss of her love is a loss overall, for the both of you, especially you husbands realize your words in anger will hurt much more than the other way around. That's the way Allah created us and them that we have our issues and our weaknesses. But by and large by and large, we can bear with a little bit of anger we can overcome it if we hear it from the other side. But our better halves our women as our Profit System said they are fragile vessels are worried he called them crystal vessels careful careful what we say because that might harm them as if no palladium says In fact, it is reported from some of the

00:11:28--> 00:12:05

earliest setup as well that possibly a word will cause more harm and physical pain to somebody than a physical beating possibly a word is going to be more painful than if somebody punched you or hit you what that person said about you might cause more pain, how much more so if it's the husband to the wife, control your anger, don't say bad or vulgar or harsh things to the one who is your life partner and the mother of your children and vice versa sisters as well control your anger don't speak in the state of anger to your husbands this will be beneficial for yourself and your families and your deen and your dunya May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide is to the best of luck and make us

00:12:05--> 00:12:09

follow the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu idea he was setting him well for that when it comes to the law he

00:12:15--> 00:12:16


00:12:17--> 00:12:19

in a feed dounia Solomon.

00:12:26--> 00:12:30

Welcome Vina Leah to Gemma

00:12:32--> 00:12:33