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Channel: Yaser Birjas
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Isha-Khatira at the Valley Ranch Islamic Center: Tough Relatives; What’s The Limit? Hadith.318 Riyadh-Us-Saliheen
July 09, 2017
Episode Transcript ©
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The steamer theater Mama, man. What do you do with some relatives if you tried to be nice to them, but they're never nice to you?
It's a very good answer. I don't know he says
or official patience and then patience and that but then they're so mean.
You're trying everything you can
to be nice to them kind to them you call you visit, you give you send whatever, you know text message, they never respond to that in any way.
What do you do?
You know that they're doing wrong anyway. But Should I continue or do I have the right to stop?
That's the question. Do you have the right to stop? Or should you continue your kindness regardless?
You have the right to stop. But what if they What if they were not negative, not me. They're not neutral. They're negative. You're doing good. They're doing bad
bonanova Corolla Baraka,
let's say from the Prophet sallallahu sallam, let's hear it from the prophets of Allah Salah. In nomina Rahim Allah tala Fifi Baba valida in the chapter of berwarna day in the country is meant to his parents. He says Carla, Juan, have you heard about the Allahu anhu and Roger ancajas Corolla in La karapatan osteoma Tony overstimulation moiseev una La, La La, la luna LA for Carla in Quinta chemical Sokka animate so for whom will Mel what as aroma camera La la la him Madame Tara dalecross
and Nora Sorolla on messenger of Allah, I have some relatives and by the way since this chapter or this hadith was mentioned under the chapter of beruwala Dane as if a mama now Rahim Allah He says that this relative will talk about relatives here that also can influence your parents. Like you being nice to your parents, you're doing everything to your parents, but your parents are so mean to you.
Does it happen
it does a lot of people come complain and says you know chef my mom you know my mom my mom I said listen be nice to
the professors are essential if you don't know my mom
she's this she's that so they realize it's sometimes hard and difficult. So remember now just the fact that he mentioned this had it under that chapter per day It means he acknowledges the fact that yeah, this wrote that when you say relatives, cross includes parents, he says Carla in LA forbidden I have some relatives with whom I tried to keep the ties of kinship and relationship with them. But they keep cut me off.
They keep cutting me off. I try to maintain the ties of kinship with them bother keep karamea
him what you see in LA. I try to be nice to them. I do I do my best towards them. And they treat me bad.
So unless you let him I treat them in the best way possible.
But they retaliate or at least they reciprocate by treating me bad.
Holloman home watch ally.
I'm being very gentle with them very kind and very patient with them.
But unfortunately, they do not which means they always treat me in a rough manner.
So I'm very nice for them. There are four main what was on this case. Now you guys you tell me what do you what do you expect this person asking the question for What is he trying? What kind of answer is trying to get from the Prophet salallahu Salam
and excuse right? He's trying to get some of the professor some you know what mallamma is for you just forget about the man just live your life. That's the answer. He was expected from the Prophet salaallah Salah, like you know what, you've done everything you can call us, therefore normal. You can stop being concussive. You just you can stop completely for my children. But the prophets Allah Sam said to him, call the encounter come up with just if it's true, what you're saying about yourself. Because we don't know right? Even as a mom, sometimes people that come to me and they say, you know, my wife does this mom does or says I don't know what you're talking about. Me and wife
want to talk to her.
When someone complained about somebody else, you have to be fair, you have to understand him from both sides. So the same thing here when the man is tagliata, Salah, my relatives, my relatives, my relatives, the professor Sam says, You know what, in kenema, Hakuna Matata, if it's true, what you're saying. And that's an answer. Sometimes, you know, as a Mufti or someone asked you a question, you need to make sure that you put this disclaimer the answer, saying if it's based on what you said, based on what you told me, the answer is x, y, z, which means I'm given based on what I heard from you, if I have from the other side model a whole different story. So the
Prophet told them if it's true what you've said they include quantum and quantum chemical for kanematsu mal he says it is as if you are feeding them freedom ashes which basically as if you are rubbing ashes on their faces like as if you're rubbing dust in their faces. What does that mean as explanation that's an expression of humiliation. That's an expression expression of humiliation. He said while I as Aloma kameena law here, and he says, and you will not be without a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do so. Who is that supported a man
like you have your support Allah Subhana gatorback
Allah has given you the answers they're getting your back and shallow to Allah has your you're in good hands. But what if they continue? What have you tried your best and they continue to act mean towards you again, you have the option to continue like the professor Sam said to do nice and kind with them and be patient regardless of their response. Or, or you do have the right at some point, at some point to stop.
Alice Patterson's low level job is to totally llamando limb loss of hundreds and love our job is to that would you speak if someone speaks bad basically
elemental analysis course it's it's someone who's oppressed. And this case when you go to the court, and you speak about your opponent, are you going to speak nice about them? You can speak bad right? So this they have done this so Allah, Allah subhana wa tada would allow this, because now you're just expressing what the grievances that you have. So yeah, if this is the case, you do have the right to at some point to stop. When that when should you stop? That's up to you. How much tolerance should you exercise with the people who around you of course, the more you exercise, the more patience you have a handler, the better it is Allah subhanho wa Taala says, in your facade, your
hunger SAP Indeed, those who persevere impatience will receive the reward from Allah subhanho wa Taala without any measure, which means it just would be given without measure, millimeters or models or patients.
course, no one's gonna ask about his parents right now. Right? Now. We have a question. Yes.
So what if someone tells you I don't want to see your face anymore? Don't come Don't come to this house again. What do you do in this case?
Don't go to the house but try other means called email, text. Probably at some point hopefully the relationship will be restored and you go and visit
and if it's your parents house, you have the right to go to a parents house.
So if they tell you next time they open the door and they close the door in your face at hamdulillah I did my part at this I came and if they insist on you not to come and it becomes seriously you know, dangerous, gruesome life hazard probably or even legal issue. Unless you've done your part says you're a llama should be my witness. I've done my part.
Allah Subhan Allah Malaga. beuter Rahim Allah tala, one of the Imams, the great Ramallah Chavez school of thought. They said about him. He was unlawfully imprisoned, you know by the authority of that time. So every time it was Serato Juma whenever Serato. Juma he would hear the other man from prison, he will hear the other end and the masjid or before the other MBA said he prepared himself he makes he takes a shower, he puts his clothes and he gets ready when he has to adapt for Serato Juma, he walks to the gate of the prison, or at least to the door of the prison. So Jan, the gatekeeper, it says we're going
to Buddha therapy on answer the call of my Lord.
Allah, Allah, Allah, a surgeon of course a prisoner in the jail keeper basically, it's not an exam he says, Hello, Dr. mercola you know, please don't put me in troubles. mela Have mercy. Just go back please. So that a member of Himalaya used to have resonances called Allah Houma shed, your lobby my witness. I did my part. I took my shower. I put my clothes on. I heard that then I walked through the door. I walked to the door to go and respond to your call the call of them but I couldn't. They sent me back. So sometimes Yeah, if this is the case where you have some relatives where the situation gets really difficult to that level, obviously you never lose hope. And I mentioned the
last panel with Anna notice, try your best to, you know, kind of soften the hearts of the people around you shut out as much as you can. But if it gets to that level, becomes very dangerous. Then you've done your part.
I always those I always I always recommend for people who have this
tuition for their relatives and loved ones. As you guys, you truly need to go and seek counseling from some, any family therapist experts, whoever can help you with that. Ask them maybe you think that you're right, but somehow when you hear the other side of the story, just like wow, this is unbelievable. I didn't know I was actually hurting them that much. You don't know. Just try your best to be neutral and Sharla and hear from the other side.