70 Major Sins #07 – Sin 9 Abandoning Relatives, Sin 10 Committing Zina- Extra-marital sex

Fatima Barkatulla

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Let me first make the dollar Miss Miller Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah dear sisters as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And welcome to this 70 major sins. class, I think this is the seventh class.

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So

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Alhamdulillah Last time, we were looking at the major sin of

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disrespecting parents, if you remember.

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And I just wanted to round that off by saying, look, the other aspects of

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the opposite of disrespecting parents, which is better and validating, having good relations or good, being pious towards your parents, and good unkind towards your parents.

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Also includes because I don't think I really mentioned this much is spending money on your parents. And this is especially for sons, right? So for men, especially,

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you know, there's even a hadith where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told the man that you and your wealth belong to your father, you and your wealth belong to your father,

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my husband likes quoting that one, whenever he kind of takes things from the kids.

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You know, so you and your wealth are for your father, belong to your father. So, you know,

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basically, the idea is that if your parents need something, if they have financial needs, especially, then definitely it's upon, especially the son, to provide for them. And they shouldn't think they're doing them a favor, it's not a favor that they're doing. Right.

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And, of course, if you're a daughter, and you've got your, you've got your own wealth as well, and you can spend on them, if you're if you're married, and your husband is kind, and he, he will, he's willing for you to spend on your parents, then of course, you know, that's, that's all a good thing, because it's all this is, this all comes comes under the next category, which we're going to look at, which is about having good relations with your club, your relatives in general, right.

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But this is, especially for parents spending on them.

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Don't allow them to be angered with you, is really important. There's Hadith about how, you know, one of the quickest ways to be answered is a parent making

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against their child pallulah luck, because Can you imagine what the child will have to do

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to drive their parents to that level, you know, it doesn't come easily or naturally for a parent to say anything negative about their child.

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Autism kind of say, you know, it's let alone make a dua against the child that's like, Major, right.

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But

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if a parent is driven to do that, of course, you know, some parents might have very bad character, and they might be the sorts of parents who curse all the time, right. So we're not talking about those type of parents or parents who unjustly you know, say things against their child, okay. But

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in general, you know, for parents are just normal people, they're, you know, good people.

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You should not be doing things that would push them to that extent. So, in other words, if there's any kind of, I guess, clash between you and your parents, what you want to do is you want to negotiate, you want it to be a negotiation, rather than you kind of showing them disrespect. You want to negotiate the situation with them. And that's always going to be the better approach, you know, because you don't want to drive them to that kind of upset, right?

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Be being grateful to them, and then also expressing that, you know, sometimes we, we think we've we feel grateful towards our parents, but do we actually express it? Do we actually say it to them?

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I think that's really important, you know, to actually thank them to actually remember things that they did for you in childhood and say, I really loved it when you did that. Thanks for doing this for us, dad. Thanks for doing that for us. One. It means a lot to them. You know, even if your parents are like, typical Asian parents who are, I don't know if Arabs are like this. But

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you know, who don't necessarily show a lot of emotion when, when you're being gushy towards them.

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Believe me in the heart, they feel good. You know, they feel

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It's good to hear that you did things right. Because probably they went through a lot of uncertainty, you know, for your sake.

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Also try to guess what they would need and what they would like. I think that's really important as well. Sometimes, as people get older and more elderly, they don't express what they want, they think they're going to be a burden on their children. Or they think, you know, they're going to inconvenience you, and you're busy, you got better things to do, blah, blah, blah.

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And, you know, of course, that shouldn't be the case, they shouldn't think like that. And we shouldn't make them feel like that. So try to guess what they need, or, you know, it's a bit like, the way a parent thinks about a child like, you think about what that child might need, you don't always just wait for them to ask, right. So

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similarly, and the reason why I say similarly is because panelo, especially as people get elderly and into old age, there is a type of reversion to childhood, you know,

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you can't get away from that. So

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then it becomes the job of the children, especially the adult children to

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think about the needs of the elderly, right? and fulfill those needs. And whoever in here, what goes around comes around, I think it's really important to think, and to bear in mind, that the way that we want our children to treat us,

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you know, we should treat our parents because one day, we will be elderly, ourselves.

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And many of you know, people of the past they, they would tell stories about how somebody was terrible towards their parents. And then the same thing would happen to them, the same thing, the same way in which they abandoned their parents, or they did something negative towards their parents, the same thing happened to them. Now that they were in the state of weakness and elden, and old age, so we should feel alone in that regard. And I'll say two sisters, especially that sometimes we find it really easy to empathize with our own parents. But, you know, maybe not so much with our husband's parents.

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I'm mentioning it this way around, because obviously,

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most of the people listening or all of the people listening are sisters.

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So the point is that one day, we are going to be mothers in law two, right?

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We're going to be mothers in law to and our son, who we raised, and we, you know, our little baby we raised and to an adult son is going to get married, probably insha Allah, and

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is going to bring a wife into the family, right?

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We just have to have a little bit of empathy. And just think what that what that's like, right? And how we would want that spouse or, you know, the spouses of our children to behave towards us, you know, and then just think to yourself, that your mother in law, for example, your father in law, they are the ones who raised your husband, right. And so

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we should treat them the way we would want our son and his wife to treat us one day, right? Sometimes we don't imagine that far. We don't think that far ahead. We just think about our own little situation and how important we are. But I think it's really important to honor to honor our spouses, parents as well and help our spouse to honor their parents.

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Right? Help your spouse to honor their parents don't be an obstacle to that.

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Okay?

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How'd you acquire it?

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abandoning the relatives?

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This is a major sin number nine

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abandoning the relatives, what does it mean? What does abandoning

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what is finding the relatives mean?

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Allah Subhana Allah says about it in the Quran,

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mankind revia your guardian Lord, who created you from a single person created

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of like nature, his mate and from them both scattered like see

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Countless men and women reveal Allah

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through whom you demand your mutual rights and reveal the womb that bore you.

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For Allah ever watches over you the famous you know you usually hear this at the beginning of a hot bar right? Yeah, you had nurse up top or back home. I love the hollow Kakuma nursing wahida wahala come in has Oh jaha thermen humare Jalan Kathy Romani Sir, what takala her lady, the Sir aluna be he well or ham? in Allah ganar la come rocking rocky but and here Allah uses the word, our ham, you know?

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have Taqwa of Allah,

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through whom you demand your mutual rights of the womb. Right The wounds. So our ham is the plural of Rahim which is the womb. And that's how in Arabic you refer to

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your relatives, all our ham, right? The people of the wombs. So you're all united, due to the the fact that you've come from the same womb, right? Or a number of you have, right and or that their parents or their parents did, right. So Subhanallah and I don't think it's any coincidence that the word or a hymn is connected to

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the root letters are rahima or 4am. I right for mercy, because there's a natural mercy that emerges due to the relations of the womb, where they should be.

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And so a lot and that's not the only idea. There's lots of ions in the Quran, where Allah Subhana Allah talks about, you know,

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the close relatives, right, close relatives and keeping good relations with them.

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And this hadith

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Sahih Muslim, it was narrated from Abu Dhabi, I know that a man said, O Messenger of Allah, I have relatives with whom I try to keep in touch, but they cut me off.

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I treat them well, but they abused me, I am patient and kind towards them. But they insult me.

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And other sort of loss of Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, if you are, as you say, then it is as if you are putting hot ashes in their mouths, Allah will continue to support you, as long as you continue to do that, to have good relations with them.

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So in other words, also the last salami saying that he's approving that this man, even though they're behaving so horribly towards him, that he still continues to try to

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keep in touch with them, to be patient with them, to treat them well to be kind towards them. Even though they're basically abusing him right or insulting him and not repeat, not responding in kind.

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And the profits or loss, I think, you know, we explained this, he said,

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abuse me, when the man said they abused me, it means behave in an ignorant manner towards me, or mistreat me. And he said, ignorance here refers to bad speech. What this hadith means is that it will be like feeding them hot ash ashes, this is a metaphor for the pain, they will feel like the pain of one who eats hot ashes, there'll be no sin on the person who's doing good. Rather, they'll be seeming greatly for cutting them off and causing him harm. So in other words, you being good towards them is not going to harm you in any way, if anything is only going to do good for you, and then not responding in kind will be a burden for them on their judgment.

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And he goes on to say, and it was said that what is meant is that by treating them kindly, you will make them feel ashamed of themselves, because of how kindly you treat them, and how badly they have treated you.

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And it was said that what they receive of kindness from you will turn into ashes that will burn that insights. So he's showing the different meanings that it could have the phrase, you know that some last off and said that.

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He says if you're putting hot ashes in their mouth, so either they're going to their conscience is going to be piqued and they're going to realize that they're doing bad, you know, they'll be embarrassed though. How could this person has been so good to us? We need to be like that with him. And if they don't, then it's only going to be bad for them on the Day of Judgment right?

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So this kind of shows you sisters that

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the true meaning of

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silica Raheem, right? And all of not abandoning your relatives is, despite their behavior, regardless of their behavior, you still do good. You still keep relations with them. You know, sometimes we have this kind of transactional relationship with people, we think, Oh, she gave me a gift. So now I'll give her a gift. She's invited me So I invite her. So and so has done this towards me. I will do that towards that's, that doesn't count when it comes to relatives, right? When it comes to relatives, it doesn't matter if they never phone you, it doesn't matter if they don't care about you. It doesn't matter if they don't give you gifts. It doesn't matter if you know, you're

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always the one who's doing the effort and blah, blah, blah. That's what you're meant to do. The person who feels Allah, the person who is conscious of Allah, and he wants the reward from Allah, and he wants to avoid sin is the one who keeps the relations keeps the good relations and keeps trying even if that person doesn't respond very well.

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And

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also, there are many bad deeds, but I'm just giving you a little snapshot. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, no one who severs the ties of kinship will enter Paradise. So Pamela, okay, so we're going to look at what does that mean, exactly what does severing the ties of kinship mean? in

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the womb, another had the the womb, I ties of kinship, is suspended from the throne of Allah, the Almighty saying, whoever preserves me, Allah will uphold ties with him, and he who serves me, Allah will sever the bond with him. This is how important Allah considers

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the relations of the room. Right? That Subhan Allah

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in some way, Allah subhanaw taala causes that

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the relations of the womb to speak, and say, whoever preserves me, Allah will uphold ties with him, and he who serves me alone, sever the bond with him.

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And I saw the man who narrated that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Whoever loves to be granted ample provision, and a long life should maintain good ties with his or her relatives. So parallel what I mean, this is motivation, right? If you want to be given risk from Allah, and you know, risk is so comprehensive means couldn't doesn't just mean money, by includes money, it includes wealth, all of your needs being met. It could include a long life, but I can't in your life. It could include, you know, all the provisions, all the resources, that person a human being needs. Whoever wants to be granted ample provision,

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and a long life

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should maintain good ties with his or her relatives.

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So Pamela,

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so what does abandoning relatives mean?

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What does abandoning the relatives mean?

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And what is its opposite?

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So abandoning the relatives is basically cutting contact with them.

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And it's the sort of family feuds and grudges such that you don't even say salam to one another.

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Right? That would constitute a major sin.

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relatives or anyone related to you by blood ties. The closer the blood relation, the higher the right. Okay, so we know that, don't we this That goes without saying, the closer the blood relation,

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the greater the right.

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And, of course, this means, look, there are certain rights that every Muslim has over another Muslim, right.

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This is above that this is over and above that, so the rights that a Muslim has over another Muslim things like visiting them when they're ill, etc. Those go without saying, right, that goes without saying this, keeping good relations with your relatives is

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above that, even more than that, in other words, more than what you would do.

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To the average Muslim.

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It also means the opposite of abandon your relatives means keeping the lines of communication open

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and forgiving them and overlooking their

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negative traits and the negative treatment that they might mete out to you.

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It also means that now, by the way, forgiveness, you know, sometimes people think if you forgive, it's like condoning forgiveness doesn't mean you're condoning a person's behavior. You know, forgiveness means you're letting go of your right to retribution, you're letting go of that kind of resentment and that right,

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to having your some kind of retribution for what they're doing.

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Letting go of

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overlooking

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charity to relatives first, okay.

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That's a very much emphasized, you know, if you have a relative who is in need,

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and you are going around helping everybody else, that's just silly, isn't it, that's just, that's wrong. That means you've got your priorities wrong.

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And sometimes you see people doing that they have relatives right under their nose, who are in need, but they would rather go out and volunteer or do other things. And we should ask ourselves, if we're in that boat, am I really sincere in wanting to do this for the sake of Allah? Or am I doing it because that other way of giving sadaqa or serving people is more glamorous or something? Right, I get more feeling of, you know, when like vindication and positive kind of response and recognition from that, you know, that shouldn't be our aim, if we're doing it for the sake of Allah, we need to look at who has the most most rights upon us. Right.

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And keeping good relations with them also means

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you know,

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being of service to them, fulfilling their needs, whatever their needs might be.

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Showing them kindness, visiting them, making the offer them.

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And this is a beautiful to our,

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for joining hearts together.

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It's from sending it down. It's a long, two hour, but I just chose the bit the part of it that is relevant to what we're trying to

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convey here, just so that you'll be easy to memorize as well. lahoma Elif Vina Paula will be now will better be Nina y Dena su Bula, salam, O Allah, bring our hearts together, reconcile between us, and guide us to the ways of peace. Keep making the store, ah, you know, for a lot of bring people's hearts together, sometimes, you can't really explain why, you know, you have a kind of

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you gel with certain people and you don't get along with others, right? In your own family sometimes.

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And sometimes the the smallest thing can kick things off, right? Like the smallest thing can cause trouble in a family that wouldn't necessarily cause trouble with somebody else outside the family. And that's usually because, you know, family members, they have baggage, right? You have baggage with each other. If it's your siblings, if whoever it is, there's a kind of as a backstory, right? There's a backstory for the way your relationship has been. And so sometimes something can just trigger something, right.

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And so, there is that heightened sense of sensitivity. But at the same time, there should be more mercy, there should be more forgiveness, there should be more awareness that that could happen. So yeah, sometimes we're careless in the way we express ourselves to family members. Right. And we would never express ourselves in that way to non family members. Just Just look at the way you communicate on your family whatsapp group, compared to the way you communicate with sisters or, you know, people who are not your relatives

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is different, isn't it, you're a lot more careful when it comes to non relatives, you probably put a lot of more emojis in there, you'll be really careful to take care of their feelings. When it comes to family members, we say things and we do things in a lazy way sometimes and that

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and that causes trouble, right? So if we could afford to our families, the same respect and care that we would have

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to friends and other people, I think, you know, that would go a long way to making sure negative things don't happen.

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Okay, the next one is a little bit is going to be one of the other sins. One more thing I just want to say about this. Sometimes, you know, people say, Well, what if there's a good reason to not have contact with your relatives, right? What if you know uncle, what's his name is a drunkard. And so and so is in a gang. And I don't know, whatever, right? Like, there's negative things that people are doing. And you're afraid that that might impact your family, right? Or your kids.

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Other times people say, Well, what if you know,

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they don't want to keep in contact, we've already addressed that. Even if somebody else is cutting off from you, you keep the doors open, and you make it clear to them that they can reach out to you, you know,

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the minimum is that you

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convey silence, the minimum, right, it should never get to the point where people are not even speaking to one another, it shouldn't be like that, it doesn't mean that you have to love every single member of your family as if we do love every member of our family doesn't mean you have to like them. Actually, that's what it is. You don't have to like everyone in your family, you don't have to want to hang out with everyone in your family. But at the very least keep basic cordial relations, keep the doors of communication open, let them know that you they could reach out to you if they wanted to write and do your best to do as much as you can, you know, to send them gifts, to

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give them offers to you know, visit them.

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Even sometimes, you know, when we have members of the family who aren't religious or you don't, who maybe not just not religious, they're anti religion, right? Sometimes brothers and sisters, they say, you know, my relatives, they're really negative towards the fact that I wear hijab or whatever, those type of people, then we need to have even better kind of adult, right. So that they will eventually their heart will soften, their hearts will soften.

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So the answer to that is not to cut relations, is to keep good relations be that person who they remember are that that niece of mine or that uncle of mine, he always remembers me. You know, he, he's always been there. He's always been a positive voice.

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And we should also care about our children and our families, you know, the wider children, sometimes we get so engrossed in our own little families, like our own little kids, our kids in the only in our household. What about our nieces and nephews? You know, when was the last time you reached out to them? When was the last time you offered? to tutor them? Or, I don't know, got involved with them. Let them spend time so that they, you know, if they're if, for example,

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if your wider family is not that religious, or even if they are, you know, the more adults and positive people that children can have in their lives, the better, right?

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So, that's just a summary of that.

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hope that's clear. Now the next sin.

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So now we're gonna talk about two sins that are quite,

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you know, we're gonna have to speak explicitly about certain actions. So

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you know, just a warning.

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Gonna be open about it. Because when it comes to the end, when it comes to seeking knowledge, and we need to be able to speak clearly right about it, and there's no shyness about that. So, major sin number 10. And, you know, what's really funny is that if you were ever going to ask people to put the sins in order, people would probably put this as number one, right? You know, because we we usually take this very seriously in our community.

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But so can I just reflect on all the sins that have gone before this? right because obviously, I believe in mama daddy was trying to put this in order of the worst, you know?

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And so the worst was shipped and then leaving the salon right? Sometimes we belittle leaving the salon,

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but we think of Xena as

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the west of the West, right.

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Okay.

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So fornication and adultery Zina is not easily translated into English. It's basically sexual relations outside of marriage, I guess.

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Which includes fornication and adultery. I believe in English fornication means

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sexual intercourse for a non for non married person. And adultery is sexual intercourse for married person. But in Islam or in Arabic is different. We're going to look into it in a little while. Okay.

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So

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I need to

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sorry my pointer is playing up.

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Okay, I need to move this. Okay, so Allah subhanaw taala says in the Quran, so it's sort of

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one at a carabas Xena and don't go close to adultery, don't go anywhere near Xena, right in the whole Kiana fahie Shatta masa sebelah for it is a shameful deed.

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Shameful and evil deed. And it opens the road to other evils. So Pamela,

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and it was for Khan, Allah Subhana. Allah says,

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Those who never invoke Ah, this is

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this is a description of who other about the right man who are the servants of Allah. There's a long list right? And so it's all for fun. And then here,

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it comes to this idea. And Allah is still describing who are the abajo Rahman,

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who are the servants of Allah. He says those who never invoke

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any other deity beside a lot, nor take a life which Allah has made sacred except in the pursuit of justice, nor commit Zina.

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Whoever does these things will face the penalties. Their torment will be doubled on the Day of Judgment, and they will remain in torment disgraced, except those who repent, believe and do good deeds. Allah will change the evil deeds of such people into good ones. He is most forgiving, Most Merciful. So in this ayah Allah has mentioned actually some of the major sins which are taking God's beside Allah

00:32:46--> 00:32:58

taking a life unlawfully committing Zina. I don't like translating it as adultery because it's not just adultery. Zina, right. Um

00:32:59--> 00:33:09

And Allah says that, whoever does this allow to double and multiply their punishment on the Day of Judgment.

00:33:10--> 00:33:29

Except then he says ilam and women Tarbell, right? Well, I'm an 11 turbo am anomala I'm Ellen silent, except those who repent so he Allah is telling us there's still hope. You still have hope if even if you've done this greatest of sins, right?

00:33:30--> 00:33:33

If you don't repent, alone will punish you on the Day of Judgment.

00:33:35--> 00:33:49

But if you repent and then stop doing good deeds, then Allah not only will he forgive you, this is the beauty of it. He would turn those bad deeds into good deeds.

00:33:51--> 00:34:04

He will turn the weight of those bad days into good deeds. Because Allah is most forgiving, Most Merciful. So real message of hope. Because sometimes, you know, our brothers and sisters who have committed

00:34:05--> 00:34:13

Zina, or any of these acts, they might feel hopeless, like there's no hope for them, right? There's no way back.

00:34:15--> 00:34:16

That's not the case.

00:34:20--> 00:34:29

And in the Quran, of course, Allah Subhana Allah tells us the punishment, the worldly punishment for a person convicted of committing Zina,

00:34:32--> 00:34:52

Veronica and Zani are to be lashed 100 times. And Allah says do not let compassion for them stop you from carrying out a laws law if you believe in Allah and the Last Day, and ensure that a group of believers witnesses the punishment.

00:34:53--> 00:34:55

So this is obviously the punishment for

00:34:57--> 00:34:59

Xena for a person who is not married.

00:35:00--> 00:35:04

Right, who's never been married person who's never been married

00:35:07--> 00:35:10

Subhanallah it shows you the fact that Allah

00:35:12--> 00:35:15

legislated that it should even be witnessed.

00:35:16--> 00:35:26

There's this clear message being given out to society, right, a clear message being given up to society, this is not going to be acceptable in our societies.

00:35:27--> 00:35:41

And so Pamela, you notice that, you know, people sometimes because we live in cultures, especially here in the West, where Xena is not considered anything, like it's not, it's really not considered a

00:35:42--> 00:35:47

big deal, right? promiscuity is the more now.

00:35:49--> 00:35:57

People don't understand why would Zinner be such a bad thing? Like why would it be such a serious crime.

00:35:59--> 00:36:05

And of course, apart from the shamelessness aspect, and that, that aspect of it.

00:36:07--> 00:36:23

The fact is that being intimate with another human being sexually intimate, is something that has to be sanctioned by God has to be sanctioned and permitted by Allah. Right? It doesn't it's not a default.

00:36:24--> 00:36:32

If you think about it, even if you were, you know, if we weren't in this society, just thinking about it. It's a recipe for chaos, right?

00:36:34--> 00:36:35

If human beings,

00:36:37--> 00:37:11

ability to be intimate with one another, okay. Which by the way, doesn't just stand on its own. It's not just about, you know, intimacy is it is like a million things that can happen as a result of intimacy, one of them being pregnancy and having children, right. So, because it's such a big deal, a loss kind of dialer has forced human beings, or sound or kind of commanded human beings that they have to

00:37:13--> 00:37:15

they have to make a contract.

00:37:16--> 00:37:28

They, you know, it was quite funny. The other day, I was reading in the newspaper, they said, a lady was actually joking. She said soon, you know, the way things are, because in you know, in western countries, especially,

00:37:29--> 00:37:33

they're having this big debate about consent, right? What is consent?

00:37:34--> 00:37:57

Like? Does a woman have to explicitly say, yes, you can have relations with me? And then that is consent? What if she just goes along with the guy, right? You know, these are the kinds of terrible discussions and things are having that they're having to have in the West? Because it's so unregulated. And because women have actually suffered as a result,

00:37:59--> 00:38:32

initially, in the 60s, you know, there was this whole thing of, Oh, it's all about liberation, women are so free, right? And then they realize, actually, no, women aren't free. They're just being used. And they're being discarded, and not getting the long term commitment that they that they yearn, right, and there's a bunch of children who are now not being looked after properly. Right. So handleless, there's been so much that has come as a result of that negative culture, right.

00:38:34--> 00:38:41

But what was I saying that one of the key aspects also of Xena is, you know, the Sharia.

00:38:43--> 00:38:44

Sharia wants to

00:38:45--> 00:38:57

preserve lineage. Okay. And that's not something to take lightly. knowing who your father is. So hello, I was just listening to a podcast the other day.

00:38:58--> 00:39:04

Do you know that one of the key factors in young people

00:39:05--> 00:39:13

having a normal and successful life is knowing who their fathers are? Just that simple. element

00:39:14--> 00:39:20

is one of the factors that they noticed in children who grew up with antisocial behavior and go into crime.

00:39:21--> 00:39:33

Those who don't know who their fathers are, in other words, who were probably born out of wedlock, and, or their, their, you know, their father abandoned the family or whatever.

00:39:36--> 00:39:42

They end up suffering, they end up being disadvantaged in life. Right. And

00:39:44--> 00:39:59

it's, if you've ever seen like these documentaries about people who were adopted, and how kind of a lot of them how lost they feel, you know, like, they have this yearning inside to know who their parents were who that is just a huge

00:40:00--> 00:40:08

Think human beings want to know, where did I come from? Who was my my father? What is my backstory? What is my history? What is my ancestry?

00:40:10--> 00:40:31

And when you cut that off, right when you disrupt that, it causes a hemorrhage in lineage. And it's a psychological hemorrhage as well. It's apparently we, we don't even know what the long term effects of it are, you know.

00:40:33--> 00:41:09

But I think those are just some of the things to bear in mind when we think about Xena because it's so belittled in our time as something that's so like, we're so desensitized to it because everyone, especially in western countries, in the newspapers, you, you think everyone is basically committing Zina, right, you if you've been to school, you know, in secondary school, for example, and beyond. Young people are encouraged to be to have relations. There's nothing really discouraging them. In fact, I would say they're pressured and groomed to do so. Right. When in fact,

00:41:10--> 00:41:13

marriage protects.

00:41:14--> 00:41:28

Marriage is the only lawful way that our Creator has commanded us to be able to have intimacy with a spouse. Right.

00:41:31--> 00:41:36

Think I sort of wanted to say that about that. So what is Xena?

00:41:40--> 00:41:43

Xena is basically, of two types.

00:41:45--> 00:41:48

Illegal sexual intercourse.

00:41:49--> 00:41:55

For a person who's never been married before. Okay, this type of Xena is

00:41:56--> 00:42:15

the Xena that in in this world if a person is convicted off, and obviously what that means is there needs to be witnesses, you know? In other words, it's usually that it's being done in the open, you know, what's being done in an unhidden? way. So there needs to be

00:42:17--> 00:42:42

a proper number of witnesses for witnesses. Right? or its equivalent. And they have to have actually seen the actual act fully Right. Which means that it's quite difficult to convict and people usually, you know, in western countries, or wherever Islamic law is being applied, they usually confess, right, it's usually due to confessions.

00:42:44--> 00:42:57

But anyway, the punishment for for that type of Xena is lashing right? The punishment for the other type of Xena the punishment in this world if a person is convicted,

00:42:58--> 00:43:03

which is basically sexual and illegal sexual intercourse with somebody?

00:43:06--> 00:43:09

Or by somebody sorry, who is married?

00:43:10--> 00:43:12

Or has been married before?

00:43:14--> 00:43:26

Yeah. So that's why it's not the same as adultery. See, people because adultery is basically a person who is married and then they're having sexual intercourse outside of their marriage.

00:43:27--> 00:43:39

But this what is considered the Zener that, you know, has the greater punishment, the punishment of execution, right on days Islamic law, if convicted?

00:43:40--> 00:43:48

Is Xena by somebody who is married or who has been married before? So even if they're not currently married?

00:43:49--> 00:43:54

Okay, but they have been married before this category of person

00:43:56--> 00:43:59

that is considered that greater type of Xena.

00:44:00--> 00:44:01

Okay,

00:44:02--> 00:44:12

and one thing I want to point out here, because it's interesting, we've been studying Islamic law University and one of the things people don't realize is

00:44:15--> 00:44:18

a person doesn't have to confess to this.

00:44:19--> 00:44:25

Right? If a person has committed this sin,

00:44:26--> 00:44:44

okay, and now they're regretful Some people think are the only way I'm going to be forgiven. If I go up to a court and confess that I'm talking about in a Muslim country where Islamic law is being applied, they think they have to go and confess and then they have to be punished. Now, there is no

00:44:45--> 00:45:00

compulsion or or reason that you need to go and confess that a person needs to go and be punished. If it's something that has been hidden that nobody

00:45:00--> 00:45:07

knows about all that, you know, can't be established in court. In other words, it wasn't done with witnesses, etc.

00:45:08--> 00:45:10

You don't have to confess.

00:45:12--> 00:45:14

In fact, you can be forgiven.

00:45:15--> 00:45:22

By the same way you can be forgiven for other since other of the major sins which is what?

00:45:23--> 00:45:31

To repent, to repent sincerely to Allah. Repent sincerely to Allah.

00:45:32--> 00:45:47

And resolve not to go back to that sin. Okay, that was part of repentance, isn't it, to have true regret in your heart, repent to Allah and resolve not to go back to that sin and then start doing good deeds.

00:45:49--> 00:45:49

Right?

00:45:52--> 00:45:58

I'm just saying that because sometimes people think they have to go and be punished in order for their sin.

00:45:59--> 00:46:14

If a person is punished in a court of law, and they repent, then it's kind of like, a sure way, or sure sign that they will not now be punished for that. On the day of judgment.

00:46:15--> 00:46:23

If they, if they sincerely repented, and they're punished, you know, after being convicted properly,

00:46:24--> 00:46:32

then that means that that sin is wiped away for them, they won't be punished in the next life. Right, because that is like the penalty for it. Right.

00:46:35--> 00:46:46

But I guess the main thing for us to bear in mind is that this penalty, it kind of shows you how grave of a sin it is in the last part of the eyelets eyes. Right.

00:46:49--> 00:46:50

Okay, now,

00:46:51--> 00:46:54

this is again, we're going to have to be explicit here.

00:46:55--> 00:46:55

Um,

00:46:57--> 00:47:09

sexual intercourse between two women, okay, known in the West as what lesbianism I guess. But actual sexual intercourse between two women is also considered a type of Zener.

00:47:10--> 00:47:13

Okay, and it's cursed.

00:47:15--> 00:47:29

And it's punishable, if a person is convicted, but not with the hard punishment, it is punishment called that a zero punishment, which is basically each Islamic jurisdiction

00:47:31--> 00:47:41

or judge can decide what the punishment is. So, you know, sometimes we think every aspect of Islamic law has been set in stone. It's not,

00:47:43--> 00:48:29

you know, the How do I set the certain punishments, you know, in, in, under Islamic law, that are set in stone because they're prescribed by the Koran, and clear and very clear and you and agreed upon, right, this consensus, but other types of crimes and other sins or not, since sins is a moral, moral judgment. We're talking legal now. Other types of crimes, right? They are, you know, sometimes they can have a punishment that that country well that judge in that country can decide upon, right. So it could be something like imprisonment, could be lashes, it could be whatever, right? Whatever corrective

00:48:30--> 00:48:36

thing that that country wants to choose. I just love that interesting thing for you to know.

00:48:43--> 00:48:44

Lesser forms of Xena.

00:48:47--> 00:48:51

Okay, sorry. Just one more thing I want to mention about that, that

00:48:52--> 00:48:55

this is interesting that this comes under Xena, you know,

00:48:57--> 00:48:57

the

00:48:59--> 00:49:20

illicit sexual intercourse between women. Okay, it's not considered a type of the next category, which we're going to look at, which is Liaquat, right? So we don't really have this categorization of so called homosexuality, right in Islam.

00:49:21--> 00:49:32

This is basically intercourse between two women and is considered a type of Zina. It's not considered in the next category, which we're gonna look at in a moment. Time is it?

00:49:33--> 00:49:35

Three, four minutes.

00:49:38--> 00:49:59

So I just want to quickly mention this had it and then I look at the questions that look, there are lesser forms of Xena and that this is not the types of Zinner that, you know, a crime, you know, in a Muslim in an Islamic State, or in a Muslim country on the Islamic law. These types of Zina are a moral crime right?

00:50:00--> 00:50:03

So, here, in other words a sin.

00:50:04--> 00:50:06

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,

00:50:08--> 00:50:10

every son of Adam has his share of Xena

00:50:11--> 00:50:13

for the eyes may commit Zina

00:50:15--> 00:50:23

and the Xena is looking, the hands may commit Zina and there's Xena is touching, touching the her arm right touching on

00:50:24--> 00:50:30

the feet may commit Zina and there's Xena is walking, so walking to a place where you're going to

00:50:31--> 00:50:46

meet with somebody who you shouldn't. The mouth may commit Zina and it's Xena is kissing, the heart desires and wishes and the private parts, confirm that or deny it.

00:50:47--> 00:51:05

Subhana Allah. So this is a warning from the Prophet sallallahu when he was selling them, you know, sometimes we think of Xena as something so, especially if you've been brought up in a religious family. You might think Xen is like such an extreme crime like, or an extreme sin, right, but I wouldn't fall into that.

00:51:06--> 00:51:07

But you know,

00:51:08--> 00:51:21

there are footsteps, there are steps that lead to the greatest sense, as we've mentioned in the past, in during these classes, and Xena also has the little baby steps.

00:51:22--> 00:51:33

And before a person knows it, their standards have slipped. Right? So that's why we have to be careful with the things that even go close to sin. And that's why a lot of that I said in the Quran,

00:51:35--> 00:51:38

don't go near Xena, right? Don't even go near it.

00:51:40--> 00:51:52

Because there are things that happen. There's 100 things that need to happen before that are also sinful. Right? Before a person falls into proper full on Xena.

00:51:53--> 00:51:57

So insha Allah will continue next time I wanted to go into

00:51:59--> 00:52:10

how do you close the doors to Xena, right? And I don't want any of us to think that any of us is immune to any of these major sins.

00:52:12--> 00:52:16

All idea sisters never think that you or people in your community are immune

00:52:18--> 00:52:19

to any of these sins.

00:52:21--> 00:52:23

If the conditions were

00:52:24--> 00:53:05

a certain way, and your state of mind is a certain way and you have allowed yourself to fall into certain preliminary sins, believe me, any human being can fall into these except to Allah, Allah protect. That's why we need to know about bees. That's why we need to know the preventative measures as well. And we need to allow ourselves not to go near that. So I'm just going to read a question I think we've got here. What if I think this is about the relatives? What if they're mentally and verbally abusive? And you struggle to cope around them? Does it count as keeping ties if you keep it minimal? So just say Salaam when you see them? And yeah, exactly. You can that's fine.

00:53:08--> 00:53:10

But be careful, you know, are you

00:53:11--> 00:53:33

obviously it's for every person to judge for themselves? But are you really? Are they really abusive? Or is it something that you're always misinterpreting. Right? Of course, no human being has to keep in touch with another human being or I mean, spend a lot of time with them, if it's causing them pain, right.

00:53:35--> 00:53:40

But like he said, we already mentioned, didn't we, in one of the slides?

00:53:41--> 00:53:42

Sorry, just a second.

00:53:44--> 00:53:46

We already mentioned

00:53:48--> 00:53:53

in one of the slides that, you know, the minimum is keep

00:53:55--> 00:53:57

saying Salaam no cut off completely right?

00:53:59--> 00:54:05

Should we keep relationships and spend on our relatives who are not Muslim? Of course, yes.

00:54:06--> 00:54:19

You know, the mother has the same right, you know, or a similar, right, especially, but all of your relatives, of course, keep good relations, keep spending on them.

00:54:21--> 00:54:59

And insha Allah, you know, it could be a means to soften their hearts. And you know, even if they don't embrace Islam, they'll have they'll feel positive about you being a Muslim, right? They'll see that there's a change and so many brothers and sisters say that, you know, their parents or somebody in their family became Muslim afterwards because they saw the change that it had in them, right, they saw that they were more forgiving, they were more patient, they were nicer, they were kinda they were, you know, more forbearing etc. So, of course, and you should do also with the additional intention of our you know, see

00:55:00--> 00:55:03

get even more reward for that in sha Allah.

00:55:04--> 00:55:31

Okay, dear sisters our time is up. I hope that was interesting for you and beneficial inshallah next time we're going to talk about how to avoid falling into not falling into Zilla but how to avoid going near it even right. And like I said, it's something that anyone can fall into the especially the I'm not saying anyone can fall into sin, I'm saying anyone can fall into the things that lead to Xena, right?

00:55:32--> 00:55:37

So let's be careful. And let's be aware of those things

00:55:38--> 00:55:56

because some of them are becoming unfortunately common in our society and even in our Muslim community. And then we're going to go on to the major sin of Liaquat Okay. I will explain what that is which is the sin that the people of loot committed.

00:55:57--> 00:56:16

Yeah, inshallah we will talk about that next time, so, that I will bid you farewell to Zack como la O'Hara. subhanak Allah whom I'll be handing a shadow Allah ilaha illa Anta stop Ferragamo to be like Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:56:21--> 00:56:22

Alright, that's why we got into that.

00:56:25--> 00:56:26

But yeah, cool.