Yaser Birjas – TaSeel #47 Q&A
AI: Summary ©
The importance of healthy boundaries and a balance between work and personal life is emphasized in online learning. Personalized guidance and protection for the student and their parents are also discussed. The speaker suggests rewarding individuals for their behavior as a way to maintain their health and family, and balancing work and personal life to avoid risking privacy. The importance of budgeting and being careful with money is also emphasized.AI: Transcript ©
Some people claim this is a weak hadith,
Da'if,
and, use that to deny the duties of
the wife. What is the truth about this
hadith? And then there's a comment that's actually
in the footnotes mentioned to be authentic.
And even Sheikh Albani
in his book, Al Irwah, he mentioned 6
different paths to the same hadith, deeming the
hadith to be authentic hadith. But the meaning
of it, as we described, when the prophet
said that if it would be for anybody
to pursue it to anybody, it would be
the wife to her husband.
That's out of respect, obviously, for his for
his haqq,
condition, of course, of him fulfilling his duties
towards her. And in Nawaz is considered to
be, of course, appropriate and considered reasonable insha
Allahu Ta'ala. Otherwise, the haqq of the husband
is really truly uni great. If he does
his, alhamdulillah, his his wife and taking care
of his spouse,
there is no there is no really meaning
to interpret the hadith otherwise. This is the
hadith the prophet is highlighting the haqquq of
the husband in this one. That doesn't mean
the wife doesn't have her haqquq, which were
also highlighted in other hadith from the sun
of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam.
Okay. So, some, actually,
irrelevant questions really here, so I have to
go and skip them, Jema'ah.
What is Mursal Hadith? The Mursal Hadith, which
which one of them was related to the
Hasan al Basri. I don't know if you
guys remember we talked about the Hadith.
So, the hadith has 2 parts. There is
the Sanad and the Matin.
The Matin, it's the actual text that you
recite. The metin is the chain of narrators
that connects the prophets connects
the collector of the hadith like Imam Bukhari,
Imam Ahmad, Imam at Chirmidi, all the way
to the prophet
So that chain
needs to be all connected with reliable people.
So when you say, ibn Abbas narrates the
prophet Asam said so and so, and then
you have from ibn Abbas,
you have his companion,
Abu al Aaliyah, and then Fermi al Aaliyah
takes his student, and his student takes, of
course, from the other party all the way
to the Bukhari.
So the Bukhari, he's narrating from all these
people,
one from the other one. This is called
Na Mu'tasil.
So the senate is now all connected.
If there was interruption in that connection, somewhere
is missing and one of those generations is
missing,
then this hadith would not be considered authentic
because it's missing something.
Al Mursal
is exclusively when there is actually no connection
that goes for the prophet
or
to the to the to the, yani,
for the sahabr of the lawat al Mu'addawn.
So we say al Hasan al Basri said
that for example.
So you go straight from there. So that's
why it's considered mostly because a tabri does
not have a connection to the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam. Does it consider hadith sahih?
Well,
generally speaking, no. It will still be considered
as a statement of that tabiyeh, for example.
However,
if that person was known to have this
hadith from sahaba but he skips
them, some alima, they kind of like tolerate
that because it's considered to be a thikah,
someone who is reliable so when it drops
a name, it doesn't drop any other name
but someone reliable.
Can you smile cheerfully to the opposite gender?
In that which is appropriate,
Obviously, in that which is appropriate. I mean,
you don't have to be cheerful to the
extent of losing your hayah and losing your
hayah,
but,
if for example the age, there's an age
difference.
Someone who's the age of your father, for
example. Can you smile on their face? I
mean the prophet he joked even with an
older woman.
He joked with
her and not an older woman even. Another
woman who came and she said, You Rasool
Allah, can you carry my husband yani with
you to the battlefield?
Can you find him a camel? He goes,
we can't we're gonna give him a baby
camel.
So there she goes, Yerushal,
baby camel, how is he gonna go on
a baby camel? He goes, isn't every camel
is a baby with another camel?
So, he was joking with the with the
lady, salawatulallahu
alaihi wa salamari. Again, the context is very
important,
but the main thing is always keeping the
hayah and keep of course the healthy boundaries
insha Allahu.
If you give a loan to someone as
a qardim, Hassan,
do you get the reward for the actions
that come from that, like a student loan
that keeps getting reissued? I hope so.
Obviously, that's running charity.
Someone trying to plug in running charity organization
of Israel. Right? Is that you, Abdullah?
Praying at home is more rewarding to the
for the women. So, could you use a
piyas to say that studying the tasil class
from home is also more rewarding for the
sisters? Well, that's up to them. It depends
on their circumstances.
If, alhamdulillah, they feel more yani, peaceful, more
at ease studying it from from online,
do it. That's fine. But for them, they
like to focus in the classroom because the
environment with all the students also encouraging, that's
that's a different thing. As long as we
keep, of course, with the other and the
etiquette
of men and women in in the same
mussala.
So,
doesn't sadaqa benefit others while dhikr only benefits
the person himself? Isn't it likely that people
give sadaqa also do dhikr
as in this case the rich there is
sahaba. So if this is the case, wouldn't
the reward for sadaq cannot be higher?
Look, in terms of abstract reward, saying sadaqah
versus zikr, the hadith is clear. He says
even better than giving gold and silver remembering
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, it's like a jihadfi
sabilahu and if you keep yourself always conscious
of Allah
in almost every moment, who can do that?
Who can do this?
It's not easy to always bring yourself back
to dhikr.
Your nafs will distract you. You get exhausted,
you get tired, you start kind of like
getting busy with dunya and maraz. That's not
haram. You're not doing anything haram
but you're no longer in the state of
dhikr in that moment.
So to keep yourself even while doing the
halal things, the the mundane things of life
while still in the constant state of dhikr,
definitely there is nothing better than that. That's
what the prophet
No one can do better than them.
And the Sahaba said who are they are
Rasulullah?
Those who constantly
remember Allah
men and women.
So again that dhikr is very powerful here.
That's from the abstract point of view. So
if someone is doing dhikr
and also given monetary charity, will they be
the same like someone who's,
doing dhikr without giving monetary charity? Of course
not.
Then I will be hiring them to reward
now.
I thought that Syana meant protect the house
from strangers entering without husband's permission like strange
men. That's part of what we mentioned actually
in the in the interpretation of it. We
said, like, protection as well as, of course,
protecting also him and Syama, him as well
too. Part of it, protecting the household for
him, and also making it home, like we
said, as well as, you know, Syana, his
his needs and stuff and so on.
So, husband's parents
in owned, but modest townhouse,
versus keeping wife and family in upscale apartment.
Can a wife complain if this is the
scenario, if the husband can only afford 1
owned house
and one rental only out of a stand
for for the parents?
I mean, my lord reward them for taking
care of both like this.
I mean, if you cannot afford both, then
they have to live in one place. Would
that be easy? No.
You're going to have to deal with it
as as human beings and and as families
because at the end of the day we're
responsible to take care of our parents. Who's
going to take care of them? That doesn't
mean to abuse the wife of the spouse
and the wife for the sake of, you
know, taking care of our parents, it has
to be balanced there, it has to be
done properly. But if he can afford both
Alhamdulillah,
may Allah reward them for that.
If the portion about having the wife stay
at home with her spindle means to keep
her busy,
can't that mean going to work?
Well, a nice interpretation, masha'Allah.
I don't know how you you you brought
that interpretation into it.
But, I mean, if she has if she
has a work that keeps her busy but
at the same time it does not, it
does not end up,
disturbing the stability of the household and the
order of the household
then it's still permissible.
If the husband doesn't fulfill his responsibilities,
does a woman disobey him or does not
fulfill her duties,
Not out of revenge but out of frustration.
Is it sinful for her to do so?
Actually, it wouldn't be sinful, like, if he's
not providing for her, if he's not protecting
her, if he's not,
even yani,
give her a sense of modesty and decency
and so on. He's exposing you. He's hurting
her.
Can she, in this case, you know, disobey
him if he wants her, for example, to
put makeup, for example, or go out
with him in a place that she doesn't
want to go to because it's not for
me to be in these places.
She can actually say, no, I'm not going
to go with you. I'm not going to
get out like this. So that becomes actually
her hack to protect herself right now from
from this. But if the husband fulfilling all
his duty, then in this case you should.
What if what he's asking me is something
not desirable to me? As long as it's
not haram and nothing
excessive
then in this case you owe him that
obedience inshallah.
Can daniyah be one time for reoccurring action
instead of every time? Like, for example, if
someone,
whenever they do, whenever they help people,
they have in their intention to do it
for the sake of Allah Azad. Do I
have to remember this every time I do
it or can I just remind myself whatever
I do to these people is for the
sake of Allah is sufficient?
That should be sufficient Insha'Allah. As a matter
of fact, some ulema even they say look,
being Muslim is enough for you to get
the reward
because what motivates anybody in your situation to
do what you do in terms of dhikr
and sala and Ibadah and
sadaqa. You're Islam because you want you want
from Allah subhanahu. So that in itself,
that state of mind is enough as an
intention.
Is it okay to try to have your
own income while being content with what your
husband provides for
you? As long as that doesn't disturb again
the the peace and order of the household.
The problem is that,
nowadays, unfortunately,
that extra income that the wife provides, for
example, at any moment
happens between us and when something happens,
it becomes a leverage to make it easy
to exit out from the relationship. Because Allah
mentioned the qiwama based on what? The man
is provided.
And that was in time when the societies
were very simple and I want to say
primitive societies.
So, they were very simple, very easy.
The man goes out and he is the
one who is struggling to provide, while the
lady, she is now taking care of the
household. To go out there is dangerous for
her. So she's happy to stay at home,
take care of things while the man is
providing for her. And the man, the same
thing. When he comes home, he's too tired
to do anything at home. So he's happy
to see his his wife
helping, taking care of things in the house.
I don't have to do this myself. So
they're helping each other right now.
Today, because again the lifestyle
is is different,
Women's jobs are exactly
as comfortable as the men's job these days.
Like men don't go after the mammoth area
right now to, to bring food to the
house. They spend their time just pressing buttons
and then getting, mashaAllah, 1,000,000 of dollars.
Women are doing the same thing too now,
and they're getting the exact same amount of
income problem. So as a result,
there's no advantage. The man has no advantage
anymore
in that in that in that area. That's
where this this actually instability
starts happening.
So, I would say if that income is
a silent income or income that doesn't disturb
the household order, insha Allahu Ta'ala, that's between
her and her husband. What if the husband
says no?
You were not working before we get married
and there wasn't a condition, I'm still providing
for you, hamdullilah,
I don't want my wife to go out
and work. Does he have the right to
ask her this?
Yes. But she was already working before and
she told him, look, I'm not gonna quit
my job. And he agreed to that and
the letter he goes, I tricked you. Quit
quit your job?
Does she have to listen to him right
now?
Now, she can get the reward, of course,
for that obedience even though it was a
condition that he agreed to and he needs
to fulfill his his promises because the prophet
says in the hadith
that the the the most important
and that you are fulfilling their conditions
are the ones by which
you made intimacy halal to you. Master halal
to be al Farooj. This is the most
important condition to be fulfilled.
Like the lady, she allowed herself to be
vulnerable to you
based on the promises you gave
and now you're breaching those promises then you're
violating those rules.
Eating in a Muslim restaurant, do we need
to to check, for ingredients?
We didn't cover this as Jamaa, we covered
that way before.
Look, if the if the restaurant is saying
halal,
then you can put the the liability on
them. You want to be intrusive and dig
deep into it, that's your business, but don't
don't force it on other people.
You don't have to ask the the owner
to say, can I see the box?
And then the box he brings you from
the freezer. Okay. It has halal stamp on
it. Can I see the certificate for this
one? And you're gonna search online if this
is actually approved by x y z organization
or not. That's your business. You're going to
be intrusive like this.
But if you go to halal restaurant and
it's a or a Muslim restaurant
and they have the halal certificate displayed for
example, let's say it's halal meat,
I will put the liability on them and
eat it. Unless for sure here's the thing,
unless you for sure know that they cheat.
If you know for sure, then you don't
eat it.
But if it's just like, you know, I
just want to make sure that, you
know, extra careful, that's up to you. You
can't force people to to follow that same,
model.
So, if you get married for the purpose
of chastity
and enough that for the reward, do you
need the intention every time you you'll be
intimate with your spouse? No. That itself, alhamdulillah,
is part of it. All of it, you
did that to protect yourself. That's a good
intention to begin with.
What is the least amount of dhikr? There
is no limit for that. But of course,
the more you are engaging in dhikr, the
more you will be considered a dakkir like
if you don't want dakkirat.
Would someone be considered stingy
if they have enough
or they can afford
but they go to places where they have,
any lower prices or discounts and so on?
That's called smart actually.
That's called smart and budgeting really. It's not
just that, even in the hadith of prophet
says that,
I don't know the spirit of authenticity but
says, alam, aliktasad nusful maisha
which means budgeting
and be careful on what where how you
spend your money. It's half of well-being.
Like half of prosperity, it comes from what?
From being frugal not being stingy but being
careful where you put your money on.
Okay, so many questions right now completely
off.
I enjoy using the thicker beads once in
a while. Is it okay? It helps me
focus on my khushur. Yes. You can do
that inshallah. You should be fine.
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