Psycoholgy of Forgivenss and Repententance

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So I'm really cool to live with regard to who everybody. Welcome to the first online ignor National Symposium. We are very happy to see everyone on this lesson Friday.

Allah subhanaw taala data says in Surah Baba, what you do is I like to tell you about the journey for anybody.

And when my slave asks me, indeed, certainly I am near. So at this time, when we are forced to observe, observe social distancing, we should know that Allah subhanaw taala was always near and will always be near to us. And so for that reason, for this symposium, we have selected the theme for Indian lady that indeed Allah subhanho wa Taala isn't yet. So over the next day and a half, we will be joined by an array of speakers at the comfort of our homes to discuss the ongoing issues addressing the current COVID 19 pandemic and being in a Muslim household, we may be able to benefit. Also, we will be discussing how being a part of a national Islamic movement can better prepare us

for situations like this. At this time, I would like to introduce chef Yasser Burgess, who's currently serving as an imam at the Valley Ranch Islamic center. And he is often described as a fatherly figure by many of his students. He'll be talking to us about psychology of forgiveness and repentance.

Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. Under a lot of Allah Allah means wa sallahu wa salam Ogata, kind of Vietnam Hamid one earlier he was selling with a slim and kpl at the moment but first of all, I would like to

welcome you all to this one of a kind presentation and one of the kind actually experienced all of us hon Allah, I was looking for the time where we meet again and again and again, for these beautiful weekends with the econo convention in Baltimore. The family always hamdulillah enjoys being there meeting some friends and from around the world, sometimes from the country, what a beautiful experience we used to have a handler of the army but Subhan Allah Allah us now, we are not in the in a situation we can have that beautiful gathering our union again. So at least if we could not get to the whole experience, we can have part of it too shallow to Allah. And I hope in the last

version, as we as we move forward with this program, that we see at least the taste of it Inshallah, who as though there may Allah subhanho wa Taala keep you all safe and protect you from the evil of this disease and of this virus. I ask Allah subhana wa to protect our communities, our loved ones and ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to give the fat to those who are ill, and have mercy on those who passed away ask ALLAH SubhanA good protection for brothers and sisters are on the front line, always you know, standing for, for the for the comfort of our communities or protection argument here and Brian in your last panel to make it easy for all of us. And help us go through this with safety and

security. My talk for you right now is going to be about the psychology of forgiveness and repentance. What does that exactly me see as as people talking about the COVID-19 and the disease and now images and videos are emerging about the number the total number of deaths that's happening within the Muslim community as well. And images of the burials that is happening here and there and people start saying Subhanallah that could be me next could be me. And I receive a lot of requests to be honest with you from brothers and sisters from around the country and elsewhere saying hey, my father, my mom, my spouse, this and that, please make dua and it serves heading home to many, many,

many people right now. And as a result, a lot of people started becoming nostalgic and some people now realize it Okay, life is very short. No matter how hopeful we were in this dunya suddenly we realize life is very short. So what am I going to do about I've messed up in my life? Many many people right now. So going into auditing self auditing hassle not doing put themselves to the account, what have I done? Have I done good enough? Have I done that too much? You know, that will disqualify me from being from people about agenda. A lot of people are having this self loathing experience right now and beating themselves down and not being able to process themselves to move

forward. Now our duty right now what to do, what are we going to do? Now this is the idea of forgiving and the idea of repentance becomes very, very important forgiving ourselves forgiving other people, because now we realize whatever we fight for in this dunya it's honestly it's it doesn't it's not worth it. And everybody right now is heading towards the after our mind right now is what how am I going to make sure that ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala selects me among those who pass away in this in this dunya because of this, and I will be able to be in the people from the people of agenda and ALLAH SubhanA wa to make us all from the people for dosa Dallara behind me. Now, let's

talk from the very beginning. Let's talk first of all about the subject of sin.

To begin with, where did it start from and how did it all begin anyway? That's the power of Allah Subhana Allah azza wa jal part of His divine plan is to make this as a part of test. When the balloon commission we shall try and test you. We shall you're going to hope we will do everyone up summon Amalia with emphysema, thermo troubleshooter sovereign, we're going to test you with diminishing the wealth and health and provision and, and fear and and Allah says them give give give good news for those who persevere in patients. So the subject of test is not a new and there will be noticed if there is no challenge. So we're going to have to be challenged in one of these areas.

Allah subhana wa Tada has been, has put for us as part of this divine plan is to challenge us what do we do if we make a mistake? Let's talk about other money sin. When Allah subhana wa Tada sent Adam and his spouse into Jannah Allah azza wa jal gave him a simple message where Adam was going and there was a collision. Go into Jana, you and your spouse for Colombina had to shoot him. You eat from wherever you go. And Allah so have mentioned different IRS says that whatever you eat, eat no measure, except for one tree while at acaba de shujaa. Don't you ever approach that tree? For the good? I'm gonna Dalemain you're going to become among those who transgressed against themselves. But

what happened? Adam Alayhis Salam, he ate from the tree. How did he do that?

Obviously, the shaytaan is the arch enemy of man of mankind, and very Adam, he vowed at the beginning of the creation of Adam Alayhis Salam, that he is going to go after the children of Adam, he's not going to go to jahannam by himself, he's going to take as many as you can. And that's why when he came to Adam, and he said, and he says, Hello, do Luca, and I showed you how to hold your own Killa blah, yeah, Adam, should I guide you to a tree especial tree in Jana, there's one special tree, if you eat from it, you shall have the Turner law like eternity, or that you're going to become an angel. And obviously, who's going to resist something like this? Other man is around, he's

just after, of course, he heard from from uglies multiple times, and he was swearing to him and eventually, that's what happened. Unfortunately, that will happen you ate from the tree, but Allah Subhana Allah, the Most Merciful. People gave her the money Salam as Allah Subhana Allah says about the chef and for the love of Maduro. He was deceived, he was tempted. And most of us we understand, when we commit the sins, we get tempted. And the temptation is so strong sometimes when, specifically in our time in the digital world and the 20/21 century Subhanallah the access to the Haram is becoming so easy, unfortunately, the temptation is so strong temptation is so strong, and

it's easy for people to fall into the Haram and the sin. But Adam didn't didn't stay long after he made that mistake to return back to Allah subhanho wa Taala as Allah subhana wa Tada. You mentioned at the Malasana

Adam Ruby chromatic Fatah Valley. So ALLAH SubhanA wa toTW Adam and he said I'm going to do what's the meaning of to repent to Him Subhana Allah and Allah accepted from him, but there was no agenda that he has to go through which is being on Earth, and trying his best to return back to Allah as diligent. My dear brothers and sisters, when it comes to falling into the sin and committed the sin, sins are many.

And people do things horrible Subhanallah I mean, no matter what you think your your situation is probably there is someone there who has done many things, probably out of the light, braver and greater than you did. And look what it is examples in the heritage Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, a man who killed 99 innocent souls. What do we call this person today? That's a serial killer, psychopath. And he did all of this. And after 9999 pills, his heart just woke up. And his consciousness just keep you know, eating him from the inside out. He couldn't take this anymore. So he goes to one of those righteous people. And he asked him if there is Toba for him, just held him

until I've killed nine people. Is there any any room for repentance for me? Would Allah accept me and now the man or the butcher is not supposed to be you know, righteous man. When he heard from him he killed 99 people in his mind like, are you serious? You think Allah Subhana Allah to forgive you? No way. There's no room for mercy for you, Don, you were here. And when he when he told him that, obviously the man now being completely desperate right now. What is he going to say? Okay, there's no room for me. Then he just got angry. He finished this man. He made him 100. But then he went to somebody else who had more knowledge. That knowledgeable person when he saw this man coming

remorseful. He could tell in his eyes in his in the tone of his voice in his you could tell that this man is looking for for he's looking for for salvation, looking for opportunity for Rahman for mercy. He came to me asking I've done this I've called 100 people. Is there any room for me for mercy and demand this will now the logic knowledgeable person told him well, may you have now gotten an admin as minister who's going to stop between you unrepentant ALLAH SubhanA wa del however, he said

Where do you live? It's a lot of bad company. Meaning the psychology of the sin. If you're if you're in, in the in the environment that makes this that temptation thrive and make a sin becomes prominent, that's not the right place for you. It says leave this place and go to such and such place. There are good people you can worship Allah subhanaw taala with them on the way this man dies and ALLAH SubhanA wa has sent the angels to argue over him. Some they say he will, he did not do any good. And others say that well his intention was to return back to Allah subhanho wa Taala and the mercy of Allah azza wa jal over this man, of course to be sent to Jana. What we mean by this is that

no matter what you think you've done in your life, if this wasn't shirt

now the last panel was willing to do that. And even if it's shirk, and you still have a lot of galantamine, still you have a breath and you have sold your soul and your ruin, you can still repent ALLAH SubhanA wa, Allah azza wa jal says, work motivasi at coalition, my Rama My Mercy will encompass everything which means it's so spacious, that nothing, nothing is great against the Mercy of Allah subhana wa no sin is great against the Mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala and the mother of Allah as religion. A lot of us today, we live in time, we're very suspicious about one another. People have bad assumptions about one another as human beings and I wouldn't go right now go

shopping,

Hunter for some of the essentials right now and I hope you can stay safe you stay home, there's no need for you to be out. But if you tried to go out you could tell in the eyes of people that a lot of anxiety, a lot of suspicions and Allah and now people, you know, they exercise social distancing in weird ways. Sometimes they say stay away from each other. Even someone says some are about to cross in front of them, they give them the space for you know, many, many yards away, not even feet, before they can allow them to cross panela in front of so we have this kind of suspicion about about each other. And a lot of people they've taken that same feeling of suspicion we have towards human

beings towards Allah azza wa jal like there were suspicious about Allah subhanho wa Taala would Allah ever forgive me that there's a loss of halogen to the DUA all of these thoughts come in right now when people are in a desperate situation and that's not the right thing we should we should have about Allah Zildjian Allah so Canada says oh my father Allah Hapa father, they would never give ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada. Right testament mean they don't give him the right the greatness that he did his due to him subhanho wa Taala and one of those babies of Allah azza wa jal, his Rama is made aware than anything else. Now, a lot of people they see their sins to be great, they don't see their

mercy to be greater. And it's the time that we'll forgive ourselves before anybody else that we see Allah's Mercy is greater than anything we've ever committed in our lives.

We see that other people no matter what they tell us about our sins, we need to also look at Allah subhanaw taala as mercy like when a man told another man he says and Hayden's a Muslim he ended up in Geneva and man talk to another one about his sin, He says caught up Hola Hola. Hola. Hola. Like you, I swear by Allah, you will never be forgiven. So Allah subhanho wa Taala said, called Manhattan Lydia, Allah Ali, who is this word in by Allah's name, that he will never forgive another person, which who could and you can refer to the other one.

I is a loss has been my witness. I forgive that man. And I made the deal with this man we all know like no one, no one can stop you from going back to Allah subhanho wa Taala no word should stop you from repentant to Allah azza wa jal, no matter how negative people are, no matter no matter how much people they mock you or even put you down to let you know that you there is no hope for you. The Mercy of Allah subhana wa Tada is greater than whatever you can think of now, Rama to Allah subhana wa jal as Vasya it's great. And Allah has even he put it above a statement above his ash, his great throne, when Allah Allah says rahmati Saba Catarratto de My Mercy will supersede will come always

before my wrath, like Allah is always opening the door for Rockman for mercy for forgiveness, all we need to do is just open the door for ourselves and come to the last panel of God. Now how do we do that that's what we call tilba tilba has three conditions to be fulfilled in order for that toboe repentance to be accepted no matter what you do, think of ALLAH SubhanA has mercy to be greater than ALLAH SubhanA wa will forgive but you need to fulfill these conditions number one, whatever that you do the first thing you should you should stop there say in

in one of those life lessons they say if you if you find yourself in a hole, what is the first thing you need to do? So you can get out of that hole? Someone you know for a very long time they found yourself now in a hole. How do you get out of this hole? What is the first thing you should do a lot of people they say should look up you should you know look for a ladder try to climb up this and that whatever right? But the right answer to this the first thing you should do if you find yourself in a hole, the right thing to say is the first thing you will

do is to stop digging, stop digging, you're in this hole because you've been doing all these years. So the first thing to do is to stop digging, whatever mistakes you'd be doing whatever it is you've been doing, or since you've been committing, you try your best to stop that. I know a lot of people say it's addiction. I understand that. But what that addiction, Allah Subhana Allah does depend on you mercy after mercy after mercy, as long as you're consistent of trying to get out of it, Allah will help you in shallow water for that. So the first thing is to commit to quit that sin immediately and instantly. Number two, once you commit now you need to you commit to staying away

from it. Obviously you start having that sense of remorse, be remorseful about what you've done in your life. It's not like you start becoming nostalgic, like Oh, I wish it was okay. I wish it's Helen, you can't do this. If it's wrong, it's wrong because Allah by Allah standard, this is haram This is the Senate should not be doing this. So you make sure that you have this this feeling of remorse that you regret what you've come in what you've done. And the third thing you do have what we call Azim that you have a commitment that you would never go back again to this to this lifestyle never. Now if you fall weak and go back again, or fully temporary, and you recalibrate it in and you

do your tutor one more time. Every time you make a mistake. You come back to Allah subhana wa Tada and Allah is willing to accept from you. If the sin was committed against somebody from human beings, then you're required to reconcile with them and do your best Inshallah, what about the Kotel and this is where we start working about our forgiving each other. A lot of people the moment like now, they just kind of like they, they feel so hard to let go that they would have been cheated by somebody or someone did something to them and they were never able to retaliate. They never took their help from this person, that person. You know what, this life is not the end of it. There is a

time when everybody's going to be standing before the last panel with Dan. So for you, if you can just relieve yourself and clean your heart against anybody. That's the best for you to do, especially in Shaban right now before Ramadan even starts. And if you couldn't forgive the people, then at least if you're unable to do anything about in this dunya then that's between them and Allah subhanho wa Taala this Make dua that Allah azza wa jal make it easy on you as you go through this life and then the heater Bartolotta now for my dear brothers and sisters, always, you know, looking back at their life, and they feel so guilty for they have to mirror what they've done to themselves.

What can we do, what can I What can we do? How can I understand the concept of sin? This this the complex of being a sinner, because some people they just said they label themselves, they say I'm ruined. I'm a failure. I'm this I'm that they label themselves with these with these things. And that becomes a complex like, no matter what they think they can do, they're unable to get out of it because their life is messy. Their sin is so messy, messy, so that they are unable to get out of it. Here's now I'm going to give you 10 points in shallow water. And these last five minutes been the last 10 points on how you can overcome this feeling of of that label that you give to yourself or

give to other people. Number one, when it comes to dealing with the sin when it comes to dealing with a sin How can I free myself from this complex of just being a sinner that my total will never be accepted? And so number one, you have to admit your humanity humans, being a human is is the default. And humans were not designed to be perfect. As simple as that the Prophet saw some says in the Hadith Kulu Adam Hapa every sort of Adam, every child of Adam will make mistakes.

To avoid the best among those who make mistakes, or those who come back to Allah subhanho wa Taala and repentance. So it's not about making a mistake. It's about how you fix it. That's what matters. Number two, you need to learn to have self compassion. Forgive yourself. Well how do I do that? Always remember Allah subhanho wa Taala always remember Allah azza wa jal it's kind of like a Allah's Mercy is greater than whatever you commit in your life. Always. So you need to learn some self compassion with self compassion hummed a lot of Grameen you will be able to move forward with your life in sha Allah with that number three, after having that sense of you know reflection and

self compassion, you know what I can do better than this inshallah? Answer, just keep sinking into the sin, I can do better than this. Number three, fixing the mistake, fixing that error, whatever that is, if it was a sin committed between you and Allah subhanho wa Taala then I need to repent Allah azza wa jal, if it was a sin that I've committed, you know, against somebody else, then I'm gonna need to reconcile between the laws of difference or Formosa between this person and the visual. If it was a crime, that's a different story. But still, you can sort of vent to Allah subhanaw taala from this, but I need to make sure to fix the mistake. That's number three. Number

four, seeking help. Maybe I tried my best to do that. But I'm not being successful of doing this.

I tried my best but unfortunately, I'm being unsuccessful for doing that. So in this case, what do I do? I do my best right now to seek help. What kind of help are we looking for? If it's psychology, if it's spiritual, if it's legal, whatever that is, I need to go and seek that help.

Wherever I can find it in shallow Tabasco, that's part of Allah subhanaw. They're saying what our algorithm telkwa you assist each other in performing the good, the good and Taqwa and righteousness. So if I need help, I need to look for it to show a lot of our CO talent, there is no shame. There is no shame and really admitting your faults and go and seek health Insha Allah, number five, you need to set yourself free from idealism. What does that mean? The whole sense of perfectionism that I should not be doing this, I should not be this and that I'm a human being, after all, I would love to set a high standard, obviously, and I would always struggle, struggle, struggle, and children

struggle to get to that great, great standard. However, you are not an angel. So the expectation that you would never make a mistake, that's unrealistic, and you should have again, Mercy on yourself and free yourself from all these ideal thoughts. That doesn't happen. Number six, you have to understand that the sin is a behavior is not a feeling. Sin is a behavior is not a feeling. What does that exactly mean? It's an action. I mean, that desire something when you desire something in your heart, there is nothing wrong with this in terms of, you know, being counting against you as a sin not yet. Until it's been executed as an action whether something you say something you hear

something you do. So you need to learn if sin is considered an action or a behavior, I need to change my behavior. I need to change my behavior and find a way to do something better and shallow to Allah, like even Ambassador Dylon, he says I'll try rather, I'll find out which means doing good is actually is a good habit, which is number seven. We also need to understand number seven, that the sin is a bad habit. It's a behavior and it's a bad habit. And bad habits can be replaced. Now the bad news about habits by the way, they don't go away. But the good news, they can be replaced and they can only be replaced. If you repeat something over and over again over and over again many

times enough, that will bury the boat, the old habits down there and inshallah will find yourself you know, set yourself free with the good habits been the length of arcotel Number eight.

We look at the sin. Some people will look at the sin as a challenge. Others look at it as an obstacle. So if you think of this as an obstacle, you will never move forward. Like you know what, I'm doomed. That's it. The doors of mercy are close in front of me. My sin is too great to be forgiven. That's it that becomes unfortunately, a meme for people to lose the hope and Allah subhanho wa taala. But if you look at the sin as a as a challenge,

in this case, you will always try to your best overcome that. And if that sin of that challenge doesn't actually kill you. It's going to make you stronger in show low tide. Then the Hadith of the lady who used to steal in mountain Medina, and then she was punished because she was from the from a very well known family like she was an elitist, but she still was punished and because of the punishment I showed Alana she said to my husband that Islam, she became such a righteous woman after that, like sometimes Subhanallah because of these mistakes that we do. It provokes repentance in our heart the desire to repent, Allah azza wa jal will make commitment we will never go back to that

lifestyle. So you never know. Take it as a as a challenge, not as an obstacle. Number nine.

Number nine, avoid triggers. What does that mean? If you know that your sins are being provoked, because of certain companionship, certain lifestyle, certain locations or spaces or places, avoid all of that, as much as you can try to avoid that in Allah azza wa jal and number number 10. And the last one, remember to do what we call there to some of Allah subhanho wa Taala that you always find shelter and refuge with Allah azza wa jal as Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Yeah, I'm going to talk about how to find that you always feel Allah Subhana Allah, as it should be food. Well, what doesn't make you happy lady Jamia and you find it to sound which means you hold on to the rope of Allah

subhanho wa Taala Woman Yeah, there's some belief of God who de la serata Mr. Team, and over whoever finds shelter and find this protection with Allah azza wa jal for cardhu della serata. Mr. Team shall be guided to a straight path. May Allah Subhana Allah Allah give us the ability to see the stat and go through the terrible irony. I ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah for all of us, to give us that sense of Rama and mercy in our hearts. Ask Allah subhana wa to forgive us our sins to conceal our sins are blind. I mean, I ask Allah subhana wa Tala to make us and I'm gonna listen to the speech and follow the rest of the jungle and I ask Allah Subhana Allah in this moment, that Allah

azza wa jal keep you all safe, that you're protected and guarded and ask Allah subhanaw taala of those who are sick, quick Schieffer and recovery she will leave notice of undesirable I mean, when Hamdulillah, Salah and Abdullah Muhammad and early on.

I mean, just a second here. So we are taking questions. We have a few minutes left so you can feel free to type your questions in the live comments. And I will be asking the chef, the question so if you have a car

I'm just going through those 10 points about how to deal with sins. One question was about how do I know that I've forgiven someone? I've said it to them. But are there any signs? Well, there is no way you know, you know, that Allah subhanaw has will give your sins and that should be actually a motivation and incentive for you to keep trying and trying and trying and trying. You never actually stop asking Allah Subhana Allah for forgiveness. That's the whole point. A lot of people they think that you know what, if because if you know that Allah subhana has forgiven your sin. That's it, you probably going to stop trying. And Allah Subhana Allah loves to see to hear your voice when you ask

for his version for inviting Rahim Allah, Allah, then the Medallia Salah clean, he says under the chapter of a Maha Sabha self accountability, he was talking about what is better for a person to continue thinking about the sin or not like is it good for people to keep thinking about the sensitive committed or should we just stop thinking about at all and he gave different opinions of course from different scholars his personal opinion or suggestion for he goes, it depends on the condition of the person, if the person becoming so overexcited and over proud of their repentance and doing well after they've messed up in their life, and so to the extent that they become

arrogant, he said, that is a person that needs to start thinking of their sin, because they should not forgive what they've done before because it will humble them. But if a person hamdulillah isn't the right path, they're very spiritual, they're engaging with Allah subhanho wa Taala without that sense of arrogance from them at all. In this case, it says this person should not think about the same principle they should think about Allah subhana has mercy and doing more of the good deeds inshallah Tabata Cortana. So people should not really worry themselves about it or like said from me or not, what do you need to do is know that you do your part. And what is my part is always repent

to Allah subhanho wa taala.

So just

add to that question, I think this individual was asking about when you're dealing with someone else, if they I guess the question was, how do I know if I have forgiven that other person? I have told them that I've forgiven them. But Are there signs for me to know that I've, I guess, to let it go? Have I let it go? Well, yeah, I see what you're saying. Eventually, honestly, this is something in your hand, if someone did something wrong against You, and they came to you, and they asked you,

you know, for forgiveness, it's up to you to forgive them or not. And if you've done something wrong against somebody and you went to them to seek for forgiveness, the same thing to so Allah's passes and sort of at Enron will call them in my life, when I feel numbness or law have been rushing into three steps for this sense of relief, feeling pity that you've done your part. Number one, you control your anger, restrain your anger. So every time you think about it, if every time you see this person, if that provokes you know, anger in you, you probably did not actually do the right thing. So you need to continue to restrain your anger. Some people they do that, but then they don't

forgive as Allah says, Well, I feel that you should forgive the people. Some people they do control their anger, forgive the people and then they said, well love have been my sin and Allah Subhana Allah loves those who are sinning, which means those are always do good and well, with their deeds. What is better than forgiving forgetting? How do I forget that like acting as this never happened to me? Do I have to do that? No, that's optional. That assumption, but it's never commended. It's highly recommended that we forgive, forget and move on Walla Walla. Okay, our next question, is it okay to some forgive someone who has caused us so much harm, like a tyrant.

Now, there's a big difference between a sin and a crime. Keep that in mind as sin if someone commits a sin between them and Allah subhanaw taala.

Whether doing it publicly or doing it actually privately is still considered a sin. But a crime if someone makes a sin, that has to do with other people's rights, and other people's, you know, harming other people as well. So that is now a different story. These people need to do to be brought to justice, if possible, if we can, now dealing with tyrants and so on, what can we do? If it's not under our control to help with that? May Allah subhana wa just give us the ability in the last panel to give us the ability to at least you know, to see a better times in our lives and see justice being served against these people, but we don't as believers have served justice was not

served in this dunya against these people. Allah subhanho wa Taala will take care of it on the Day of Judgment. Aloha.

There's

so that's the time we have with you today. Again, just a fair shift for your time. I hope everybody at home is able to enjoy and benefit from this. Also as I made an appeal at the beginning of the program. Please take a moment to go to www dot ICNA dot orgy slash donate. We did take a significant financial loss from having to push

found the ethnic convention in this is not a complete replacement of it but it is at least a way for us to be together during this pandemic and have our Messiah share words of advice and wisdom with us soldiers aka LaHood Somali color for the life of America