How To Be The Happiest Woman
Channel: Yahya Ibrahim
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Episode Transcript ©
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And then move on into all
three, and then
and then we'll talk
send out a lot of aka
Why should one
always and forever We beginning with the brains of the loss of Hannah Montana we send our prayers a piece upon the Messenger of Allah body.
And we testify before from this conviction that there was none of that is worthy of worship but the law
hadn't been some of the law while he would send them is worshiping sleep and finding
that those who love for our our love for Allah subhanho wa Taala
It is always a pleasure and an honor to join with my sisters here in the city of Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, in seeking about a loss of power which Allah sitting
on the body.
And there is no greater honor for me and inshallah no greater honor for you than to be from those who gather for no other reason than the word of Allah azza wa jal, and in emulation and modality and love of the tradition and the path of the messenger, Mohamed, Salah lohani, you have something that is the greatest honor and aspiration that we have in our life.
Today's topic is a interesting topic.
Because if I read it the wrong way, it implies that we do not have happiness, and we're looking for this is not the case. My wife, as I was leaving, she said, when you come home, you got to give me this lecture again.
I said, Why are you not happy? She said, No, no, I'm happy. I'm sure all the women over there happen to I said, Oh, and actually, I began to write the notes. But actually SMS the tour, and I posted it on my Facebook and Twitter page. So you can actually just click on the image now. So you don't have to write every single point 20.2 there, we're gonna talk about 20 life lessons. And these life lessons are things that I have, you know, although I just wrote them.
They are things that are founded
on the tradition.
And we're gonna go through all the chat a lot in the next hour or so that we spend Tonight, we're going to break for philosophy
mafra here and continue our
series of knowledge about the law.
Point number one, how to find happiness, how to keep happiness, how to appreciate happiness. Now those are three separate things, find it, keep it and appreciate.
Find it, keep it and appreciate it might give us we can find copies, and then we do the wrong things that ruin
or we find it we keep it and then we collected. We don't appreciate having it. We assume it will always be there. And when it's gone, we find sorrow and we regret that we didn't.
The first step and the first point is trusting a loss of data and faith. Hello.
I'm all of the questions that I get sent and of all of the comments that I receive and of all of the questions that I get asked one of the greatest themes that
comes across in particular from Muslim sisters, is why me? How come? I cannot have or how come I, I had a loss, I could relate to a husband, they could relate to geometry, not being able to produce them all many, many, many things and finding happiness now that I'm married, I thought I would be happy, I'm not always happy. comments come Why first important point is our trust.
I must emphasize to you that belief in color is from the six pillars of email. Just as you believe in Allah and the angels in the books in the messengers of judgment, you must also believe
it's good that comes to you, and what you perceive as bad, the hardship that entails.
Others will react to you in three ways that are three things that happen in your life.
Things that happen even
as you're 60. Now, some of yourself biologically, are mutating, altering, some of them become cancerous, every single one of us, some of us are able to get rid of these cancerous cells, others due to a variety of reasons or not. And in one year, or two, or three, systematically for many of us out of the numbers of people here, due to our cover, there will be some of us, some of us
who will be tested with an illness, and
it will happen.
I think you have no control over it. In fact, some of the children, all of our children are born with propensities to particular illnesses and genetic illnesses, that is put in a bloodline cannot change it. They are born You and I were born we certain susceptibilities
there are students that happen to you, not in you, but to you. As your 16 year old,
something might fall on, you might treat. You didn't do anything wrong.
You're sitting in a red light, a car hits you from the back, it's color, you have no ability to stop it prevented for changing, you did not do anything negative or wrong to bring it off.
And the third
is how you react to the first two.
This is what you're accountable for. When we talk about freewill. None of us are free.
In that sense, in the sense of the first to no one has freedom to choose when they are born, who their parents will be how they will be raised, what kind of income level they will be raising. None of these big decisions in life matters in life are in our control they happen to us
and in our life, they will things that will befall us.
But how you react to those two is now your responsibility. When Allah subhana wa Taala says you believe in another it means that if you are sitting there and nothing wrong in your life befalls you submit to Allah subhanho wa Taala and reacting the way he asked
you got married to someone you love.
You thought everything was wonderful.
A year goes by two years old by default skill. You find yourself widowed. You find your children without a father
you cannot change it you submit to the will of a loss of data now becomes the moment where you're trusting a loss beings
we are all behind me to unlock your hidden we return the last one Masha.
Allah estimated This is something to bear and what he did was find his real subpanel data, no one country you submit to the will of a lot
people can be up to title Why me
How can we how can this disaster befalls me or
assist me in the journey that remains in my life? You have a lot protect the children get a lot protect my name. Yeah, Allah give me better than what I have.
Trust and belief in the law is the foundation of happens is that the other?
We will pause for the hedonic chatbot. For the event of a shot, I'm not sure if we will hear it. But if we hear it, we will submit
the second statement, or the second principle of finally keeping and appreciating happiness
is mastered the fundamentals behind master of the fundamentals of your life. What are the fundamentals of your life?
What's the first fundamental the thing that everything else is built on?
Allah has to be a master of it. See, what happens to people?
Is that we assume so that is important. Yes, it's important. But how important is it? Sometimes? I miss the prayer. It's okay, I'll make it up.
Yes. Is it hurt? Okay.
We'll pause for it.
I'm actually not able to meet your wife.
That's why you decide which is.
So after that, I will continue for another five minutes. And then I will make your pardon I will join the demand. Those of you who are able to join us, please join us. don't pray, you're sitting at the cha
But come down for the talk and we will continue.
We continue with channel number two point number two E's master the fundamentals of life.
There are certain fundamentals that become necessary for us to master things like slug out, things like a bad the things like the citation of the
things like the intensity of the week of the morning, the Speaker of the evening. These are things that are going to make me happy, that heart you're putting your heart will never what love
there is no God or deity worthy of worship.
By Allah who created the sun and the moon and the stars and you cannot, you will never find peace and tranquility. Except in the
end. If you look for it and find something that you see is peace and tranquility. It will never last.
It will never last. Yes, you might enjoy yourself watching a movie. And then it comes to an end. And the time spent is over. But the reverberations of that the crew have a loss of power to Allah last remains. It has a taste in the mouth. The Prophet five seven says
the person pays the sweetness of faith.
What is the face of it? What are some of the things one of them is that a person would rather be killed and thrown in fire than to become
that person that's the man that results from that surety of faith.
The the heart
the heart cannot become still and quiet, and tranquil.
And last II that exists in the remembrance of Allah subhana wa.
When I use the word remembrance of a loss, ie, anything that reminds you of the day, you will stand in front of a wall.
It could be silence.
It could be something,
it could be a talk or a lecture, it could be a sisterly talk with your friend, it could be
the pain that you receive after making a mistake, it reminds you of a loss, why did I do that, I will never do that again. And all of a sudden you say,
I did that. I move away from it. Now, all of a sudden you find that piece, you recognize the error and you move away from from it towards a loss of data.
So those are fundamentals that need to be mastered the head of them is the folder
that says hi yada, yada. The answer is, I will come alive in prayer. What does it say? What does it say? Hi, yah, hi, yah. Hi, yah, I know so that come to life? How? How does your soul come alive? What is the difference between the soul that prays and the soul that does not is the difference of life and that is the word of
God he was the one who is remembered. So among these three methods, nothing else
means making sure that a lot compared to the one who doesn't like the living to the day,
you have to be a master of
your heart must wake up before your eyes wake up, you know that you have become more
consistent consistency where when it comes before your phone reads before your eyes open, your heart is awake. It's time for prayer. you anticipate your phone buzzing your clock going, you anticipate that time for the follow up, and therefore your heart is alive even though your body is asleep.
Hi, Yaga Sana. Hi Adam Farah come alive to prayer come alive to the remembrance of the law. We will read here we will continue to port number three to 20 after some other krishana Cha some kind of a lot
too late and I will see you shortly.
in this case,
am I getting ready
It is time for you to
where it is right now
I've read the last column without exception, our sold out
and exists our time together as shorty by the pizza with Allah.
I'm afraid the last time out of needs our gathering and gathering, and gathering and
we're going to continue to chat a lot with our discussions.
And I know that some of our sisters are just joining us after philosophy shop.
One of the Sooners that we learned from the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam is not to sit in the seat of someone else.
So keep that in mind, and
you don't want to have any trouble.
We continue with the third point, which we say
The second point we wanted to master the fundamentals. And I began by speaking about a bother.
But mastering the fundamentals is also a necessity in anything you do with your money. Whether you're studying math, whether it's cooking, whether it's whatever you're doing, whether it's driving, it has to first begin with what is fundamental.
One of the top basketball players in the world was Michael Jordan, I'm hoping that
all right. Now Michael Jordan, he said this one amazing thing.
He said, If you shoot and practice 10 hours a day shooting,
but you didn't learn how to do it correctly. You just taught yourself the wrong thing.
So now you have to practice how to unlearn it, and then practice how to relearn.
So the fundamentals, the basic blocks are the things that you must stress.
And therefore you see for that it's repetitive. So yarn is repetitive. zecca is repetitive. It's intense. It's also collective. It's not done individually. It's done together. Because the fundamentals of your life. You need support in them, and you need people to hold your hand through them.
So focus on the fundamentals of anything in your life.
Whether it's how to tie your scarf, you know my wife, she's experimenting with new ways to tie the scarf. I know sisters are very inventive, YouTube is full of videos, how to tie a scarf.
There's out of the way that one way, the Jordanian way that manly way. Lots of ways, right? But the fundamental is
that your hair is covered, your ears are covered, part of your chin is covered, your neck is covered. Anyway, now you want to get fancy.
But the fundamental is what you must pass.
Point number three
is learn from your parents life.
Point number three in finding happiness yourself. Learn from your parents, I don't mean the good things only.
Your parents were there as an example for you eating good and not good. You want to say that there's some parents in the audience
in good and not so good. Don't love your mom now that your mom alone.
There's things 100 lie, you're gonna learn. Good. But there's also other things that you need to, to learn not to do, and not to accept for yourself.
There are certain things that you see that you must say this is something I want to avoid. I want to maybe raise my children differently. I want to deal with my husband differently. I want to be employed differently. I want to dress different. I want to do this differently. I want to make peace with family members while spoken to peacefully. Some questions that I received. It says my mother and her sister are fighting. Can I still talk to my
mother? I have to listen to my mother. I love my hand. Because if I do I have to fight with him.
No more know. You have to learn from your parents mistakes. Ibrahim Ali said. He says to his father, yes, my father, the word even. He's not just my father. It's my my father who I love. My father who I respect my father who are not rebelling, needing to I'm not arguing.
You are the one who brought me to this life. I acknowledge you the one whose favor is on me. You are the one who who was up when I received who fed me instead of himself. You were the one who carried me taught me to walk taught me people taught me everything I know.
I learned something you don't know.
You're able to learn what your parents don't know.
You are able to study what your parents might not have studied. You have been given opportunities your parents might not have been given. It is not your life to live their life.
It is your life. To live the life Allah wishes for you. Not in rebellion. But in choosing the good and keeping it and then learning from the things that were not perfect to avoid. But you have to learn from your parents life. Now I want you to understand the wonderfulness
of your father and mother. Even if they are unbelievers. You say, I don't understand.
I want you to understand the mechanics, the place the station that your father and your mother even if they are not not just unbelievers, but unbelievers who are making Jihad
to become an unbeliever.
How should you treat them
if they were to fight a desert, or
if they were to make every form of jihad, with their money, with the authorities, with their power with their influence with their body, if they were to do everything, either to shoot me
to force you and compel you to disbelieve in me.
Don't Don't disbelieve.
And then Allah says what saw
these they're so happy in the video. You don't need your boss or your mother to be
fighting against you. You have to be
Man and I are so happy today.
So how is it?
How easy is it to have lots of
This third statement is not rebelling against those who talk to us and racist law. It's insightful and it is the way of our loving someone Bocconi University
practice Islam everyday.
You think well, I'm a Muslim brother, I'm a Muslim and practices and no, there's a different Islam and your sister is to give yourself willfully, intentionally, voluntarily to the law, hoping to attain peace and comfort in your heart and with those who live amongst and it takes practice to work at it. So pleasing yourself to Allah saying Yeah, Allah, I will obey Allah I believe this Yeah, Allah I will do this. Yeah, Allah, Allah will be honored by this Yala, I will step back from this a lot, I will make this decision.
It takes practice a determination to come closer to a loss of power.
And therefore you must practice it.
You must will yourself to submit to the creator of mighty Allah Subhana Allah.
So practicing Islam
takes root in your heart. Islam begins in the heart,
it is that your heart becomes settled.
Happiness of knowing that the directions I choose in life, I'm not choosing that haphazardly, or out of desire and emotion. I'm not leaving the dunya because I'm going to live once there's no YOLO.
By no YOLO
you only live once,
your direct thing in your life, you're living life, but there is someone in command.
Someone who says turn, stop, return, retain your back, move forward, be with them, stay away from them, honor them, leave them alone.
And the way in which
you number 518 is important.
The key now becomes, you want me to practice this liberally. You want me to focus on proper fundamentals? You want me You want me You want me? This is how I'm going to be happy in the long run. This is what's gonna keep me happy. This is what's gonna keep me appreciate you that happiness I have.
How do I know what to do? hating? Normally? You cannot be a Muslim.
Who is successful.
Without him? See, there's a difference
between a Muslim and a good person, right? There's a Muslim. And
then there's a good Muslim, and between a Muslim and a good Muslim is like heaven and earth. And there's a difference between being a good person and a great person.
It also says heaven and earth, big difference. There's a big difference between someone who can set it up at night and pray to Allah, even if it's too hot, and someone who snores until Friday.
There's a difference between someone who waits for 5g and someone who doesn't wait for fragile sense of self love and
hatred. There's mostly then there's good and then there's greatness. And there's Islam and the man and
the one who reaches that is the one who knows what to do.
And that knowledge translates into taqwa piety, in their heart. And therefore Allah says in short law, those who feel a loss due to reason that were flushed out it's not enough young harpoon law, not those who are afraid of a law No, yada, yada means that they know why they should be afraid. That's important. It's not just I was saying earlier, some people are scared of the dog. There's no reason to be scared of the dark.
But I'm afraid
there's no reason to be afraid. It's illogical to be afraid of a dog but steal
CATIA is less you know why? To be afraid there is something to be afraid of. And you understand and then you are fearful it's not illogical it's logical. That is CATIA, but lots of times
they understand why they understand what happens to the one who misses.
They know what is the reward of the one who stays at night to unlock the door What is the benefit of as big
Joshua, the fear of loss of how to die Allah because they know why we should fear
Allah from those servants of his for who does not matter It doesn't
they said men women older man who is the owner not mentioned this is
And this is the scholar the learning is the one who does what he knows. You learn something to put it into practice.
And therefore everything is important. It's the key
are now going to get into the controversial stuff.
Don't let people get into your head.
Don't let people mess with you.
Don't let people's words or actions or behavior influence your words your actions your behavior. One of the manifestations of extremism is one that people who take Islamic extremism
you killed us I'm gonna kill you
you drone in Yemen I want to kill you and kill you.
And Muslims reaction is not based on what happened to him
did not react based on what people did.
He acted based on what alone
and what a long session and went along for me
in the same way
someone felt bad if you don't see
someone make you feel uncomfortable.
Don't make them feel uncomfortable or get her back. Wait until she's on my side my side of the city waitress she's an unpin she thought she was in Bonanza wait to see mine side. I'm going to show her out mine. Ah different like over you know
she cut you off. You join her.
She hurt you please her Hello my honeymoon segment This is our lobby.
They asked me what can I do I want you to get together he said he was
the one who cut you off the one who you were friends and they broke away from you. You connect them
you go to it. But do the ones who let go with it.
The one who this honor
hurt you or
Sister says I got revenge.
I have reason to do what I want know
If I forgive they got away with it.
Sisters are scary people.
scared I'm scared to death to any sisters Mashallah.
The wife of that woman
when the other women in the city they heard, well, holidays, what
are all the conflicts
that the wife of the priests? She's chasing her little servant boy around in the house. Ah, look what you're doing.
He drove her mad with love. She said okay, I'm going to teach you a lesson. I mean,
she invited them to her home
to plan revenge.
case they couldn't plot
us every one that
Come here you show them yourself. Show them why wait crazy, I'm gonna make them crazy like me
cut their hands like their hands off. Now he's not human, he's an angel.
I have to show them that they are not higher than me. Even though she should be embarrassed of herself.
Right chick, she's wrong. Her husband found out that Napa city soccer team, I don't care, as long as I'm going to show them one. Now.
The believer is different. The mood meter is different. The movement doesn't think she got away with it. No, the movement that says Allah is watching.
Because they have to trust in Allah. They believe in faith.
Allah is watching. Yeah, Allah has to be a lot more than
that. While I was wrong, it has to be Allah. Allah is not for me.
How many times is 105? Send them say it has to be a lot instead of saying to the angel of the mountains, destroying the city.
Don't let people get into your head. Don't react to people's action. Don't sink to people's level. Don't worry about those who don't pay your rent.
Top of walkie
Eight 588 96375?
I know you all
know you're going to the bathroom. No problem.
All right. So don't let people influence how you act and react. Don't let a comment from someone about for example, your children, your husband makes you you're one of the one of the things that and it's really abuse of opportunity.
You go somewhere and you expect your children to behave extra special.
So before you get out of the car, you
these people don't let them talk about me by what you're going to do to your poor little four year old five year old.
And he can't, he cannot. He's four years old.
And when is that you look at him, then you have a you raise your voice? All
right. Why are you doing it because you're worried when others will say.
Now I'm not telling you spoil your children.
But don't expect just for someone else that miracles happen. And everyone changes on account of other people's words or comments.
Don't change your attire because someone could
change it for a law. It might be someone's Sister, I could see this was too tight. No, change it for a lot. What other people's comments, are you considering hurtful, everything is for a lot, some kind of God.
know how to respond to failure.
And all of us might use this you're going to fail at something.
And none of us will ever be happy in everything.
And no one on in life was ever given balanced delivery. It's a tough mission.
So you might be successful outside your home and miserable in the home.
And you might make it look like you're happy and home to others. But you are hating the environment you are in.
How do you respond to pain?
How do you
mean a position of distress becomes a position of success.
It takes three important qualities. First,
don't be long to what is appeared. Don't pretend nothing's wrong. If something's wrong, it's wrong.
Recognize a mistake. Don't be blind to the mistakes.
They say love is blind.
Don't be in love that makes you blind.
The love and love that can make you see. Right? You see, there's reasons.
So the first look, see basilar? Open your eyes to what is around you. Open your ears to what people tell you listen to what is happening, look around you to the situation. Second,
elephant on the lawn? What should be done? What is the right decision to be made? Take advice, what should I do? understand the situation, understand the problem, make notes to me, and be decisive.
If it's divorce, it's divorce.
If it's counseling, it's counseling. If it's changed my kids school change my kids school, if it's moved from a suburb move from a suburb, if it is being private, or not be friends with someone make the decision. When someone can
put your trust, I mean, take the decision for a loss of
Don't make it about yourself own.
Those don't say sometimes you know a wife. She's not here, it's okay.
We're making a decision.
But this is going to do this to my schooling or mine. Or, and I'll say no, this is going to if you make the decision, and it's only unilateral, it's only going to serve one side, it's only going to serve you then the failure is just shifting to another thing. You're not actually doing nothing.
You have to make a decision. That is something that is going to be equitable, and just and fair to all those who are representative of it.
So don't have to respond to failure.
Look around you. Be decisive. And don't do it for yourself. Don't be self centered.
Take note of the situation, make a decision with Shura. And don't do it just for yourself. But do it for the interests of all.
Sr is an illusion. People are afraid you know we were talking about people afraid of the dark, because in their mind, they think something is there. My daughter, we were in the pool this morning. And she goes you know she's learning to swim. I love Jesus Baba, there's no fish. I said there's no fish.
She said Are you sure? I said I'm sure she was happy. You know? I said I know. She was Baba, I feel this fish. You don't want your swimming. What we're telling you look around you like jaws is
right. Isn't the notion. Fear is not something you should be afraid of. It's strange to say that fear you shouldn't feel it.
a law 64 times. That's awesome. Don't be scared. Are you scared? You know, moves on was this driving to the man. He wasn't. It wasn't difficult. He was too odd. He was double cold. Like he was tall, tall. You'd say wow, that's Hall. No, no, that's tall. Oh, one.
The hitting a man with one one strike. He killed him.
Again, scared. Every moment Allah says
in markoma I'm going to be with you and how are you scared? You're speaking to a loss of health. Only
a few is natural.
fear that hinders you from changing failure from making a decision from going out to do what's right from helping others fear that restricts you from life
is unexpected. And therefore you have to push yourself through the boundaries of fear and hope
last panel was Allah commands us enough to always not be fearful of the dounia? Or those who
are you scared of the
show? Don't be afraid of anyone. Don't be afraid of anything. only be fearful of the Almighty, the Merciful, a lot surprised with it.
Number nine, I hope he doesn't sue us.
Just you get out there and do it.
I want to learn more I do.
But how I see openness and practice. Do
you know I begin to pray
No, no, no.
Yo, this way, you should just go. You don't have to read? Yes, do it.
Just do it.
This is one of the secrets of happiness and success. But a person feels within themselves that they can do. And the first thing talk to Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was that he can do when the wacky came was revealed. The prophets I send them when
he read the cover me cover me? What's the idea that was revealed? Yeah, you do?
Oh, you covered up, stand up, contact people what to do?
I come in straight away. But I just received the light. Really? I can do it. Yes.
have the desire to bring people and bring yourself closer to a mark has that desire and that ability that I can do it. I can accomplish what I want.
In every facet of life.
Never be injured by the fear, which is illusion. It's not fear that will that will hold you back. It is your own wheel power that will hold you back.
That he is the thing you feel will not happen. But you're thinking they will happen is what is holding you back from that success. And what could be a great deal of happiness. Considered the Prophet Mohammed if I send them his marriage to Abuja.
In a Relief Society, it was strange. Khadija asked the prophets I send them I want to marry Allah. This is something she's an older woman, and she already had children. She had two husbands before when he passed away, and one
of them was 25. She was older.
I like he is the right man, why he's honest, he's trustworthy, he's handsome. He's this, this, this, this this?
I don't care what people are gonna say.
Even if he said no, I don't care. I'm gonna just do it.
Have your mama I'm
We just said Just do it. Number 10 is you can't do it alone.
Just do it. But you can't do it alone. You need help.
You need that support.
You need to surround yourself with people who are like minded who are in have initiative who have desire to have happiness in their life.
We're going to talk about math.
If I give you 1 million positive,
and I asked you to multiply it by negative one, you have 1 million positive
and you multiply it by just one negative, that equal sign will bring you has to be negative. Even if it's a million positive. Just one negative multiplying
makes everything they cannot be you cannot have the equation being positive at the end.
So therefore you need people who will be positive who will be energetic or be loving to a lot. Even if you say oh I am having dinner I'm strong and eema but you have that one person
who is consistently and constantly and willingly and ultimately seeking to bring away from a lot. You will find yourself eroding the strength of man that you thought you would always
just be with, but you need people to do it with people too.
help you accomplish your goals and your aims and your dreams in all of the facets of your life.
Excellence speaks for itself.
You know, sometimes you say, Oh, you know, I have
ideas I have these I want to do I want to
excellence is what is what really matters is what represents itself. It's not the secondary talk, it's not the things around it, it's not the things that will, that are preparing for it. Excellence is what you see, to represent who you are.
And therefore, you know, we have a, you know, in America in Canada, we say
is you have to walk the walk, not just talk, let's talk. gotta walk it, you gotta prove yourself. You want to be a good model. Show it. It's not the plan.
No, work towards it. Show that excellence in everything, everything you do.
Alma Mater, anyone who's going to any of you.
Let me prepare for ease with excellent, let me see, to make it perfect. Your aim in life is not just to have faith, and to do it halfway. Your aim is to see the mission, to fulfill the aim to arrive at completion, perfection in whatever it is that you see.
Just do it, have the right people to do it with seek excellence.
And believe that you are will be entered.
Because as hard as you work and as much excellence as you see. And as strong as the team you build and as strong as the family you are. And as much initiative as you want to re up you want
to do what you want.
So now you have to have
is the weapon is the strength of a believer. Yes.
So you have to have lots of water is what will assist you in attaining the excellent you see and the team that you're building and the desire to fulfill the needs that you have in your life.
To turn to Allah subhana wa tada we will have no one is honored.
But to turn to Allah when you have others around you is trusted number two, sometimes when everything is happy, we forget that we still need a law. So a loving takes away those who we are relying on instead of each panel. You think you'll have a job and an income and
money in the bank and everything is going smoothly. Just in Perth. There was a brother, someone I know. He's an engineer massamba he had a good job and
the economy in Perth looks strong. There's a little bit of shift in the market.
And the brother has money saved in the bank and they were renting a home, home in a nice area with a nice car. And he lost his job.
He was on contract he said I'll find a job soon.
His wife is a stay at home mom of three children in Islamic school. And for one month, two months, he's living off savings. But he's paying rent $2,000 a month. They had 10 $15,000 in savings. Oh we still have some time. Two months, three months go by and there's no income.
Okay, let's move from this nice house to a smaller when he gave the lecture that he's leaving the home. He thought I find it easy to run. But because he had three or four children, every time he goes to apply for a house, there's someone who has one or two children or someone whose name is not you know.
It could be you know, yeah, Bonnie or john Abraham. I'm going to take Tony grant it's the same guy. Same as me. JOHN Abraham's
gonna say john, chill is accepted.
All of a sudden, let's move on to a hotel.
This is a person whose job he's living in a hotel.
One week, two weeks for me.
He doesn't want to ask for help, because he's a person who's always
been self sufficient.
The money in the bank is Weebly, what happens? This can happen to anyone.
You think I have a lot of testing when
you fake your health?
Well, we will
them alone while you were sending them who the angels mission in life was to protecting the prophet will take a walk in front of you don't have to walk behind me. No one can hardly the angels are behind.
But yet, you've got
protection in the light of your face. And let me assure you the man that removes the darkness Jamar
asks, Are you too proud to ask a lot?
You think because you're happy? You don't need to hire someone. You think, Oh, I
know. The profits of the law says you're
the one who isn't asking a lot for everything in their mind. To increase it and to protect it and to honor it.
The one who isn't connected to a law with that surety of knowing a lot will answer them. They will beat us and their demands will be shaped the public 105 seven says a lot.
When you ask a lot, having your heart Allah will enter you even though it's a big Feat. Secondly, Ali Salam is an old man is Shannon watts, which is hitter has burned off. He said burns often to wipe his bones had weakened. He's why he is old, never given birth. And he says all along. I want to son
when the agent comes in said, Okay, I'll give you a summary
of what you were asking for it. And then you say how
ask for the things you think could never happen. They will happen.
how's it gonna happen? It's gonna happen.
Even though the problem of luck is amazed. You should?
Yes. How will that happen? He keeps on questioning up until the lead says
follow. Your Lord says it will happen.
It's gonna happen. So
what are how it will happen.
And then what
brings into life
that which you are unable to bring into life yourself, number 13.
When it's time to change, change,
when it's time to change, change.
And it's one of those issues in life. where sometimes we get stuck doing the same thing all the time, the same routine day after day.
And it's almost as if we get habitual in it know when it's time to change. When there is me change. Don't be stuck in your way. Don't say this is what I learned. This is all I can do. Don't say this is my only way of doing things know that yourself to change. And this was the way of our province having a time send them and all of
who he raised up on their desire to change most of the time namaha
Allahumma change the good or bad people until they make the change themselves.
A lot of change your condition until you change until you make a movement towards that train.
is usually the sequence
the Prophet Muhammad.
Allah desires for you, the small deeds that are always done by you, not the beads that you do once by too small these all the time the rest of your life better for you than to do one complete and never do anything again.
The best of your life will be in those simple recurring acts, the words of praise You, You inspire your husband, the confidence that you build everyday in your children.
The feeling of your knowledge of
grabbing one day to hire a day three is a gradual set of lots of partners
that you build to becoming the best. And that was the habit of our
demand the best from others. Don't accept that someone just keeps you enough.
Even if john has been.
But when you say get saved properly, don't say just know that
he made that that's
it's not the man with your word, but the man with your actions, the prophet of Allah.
He teaches us, you know that to offer always the best to
our families. And therefore he talks about the relationship of a husband is one as the
It's not just the Muslim of the best of you. It
is the best in his relationship with his family, right for husbands to their wives. So you must be demanding of that.
That demand comes by you offering the same
this is coming to me. It's not you're not
okay, I'm home now.
The car is not the best, I need the best. No, demand the best means you give the best. So you will receive the best. And also
when I look
to them is what you ask for.
What you want is what do
I What do you want from someone is what you need. And the prophets I send them top quality for the Muslim woman in particular.
He says to me to the men, for example, you Who should I choose to marry who's the one that we see? As
a woman who is tender loving? You feel it her how she was brought up her manners that she has softness, femininity, was the
second one nurturing that she will be nurturing to your children. She has she has an empathetic, soft side. What do we do? And then the third eye food and our organic
that the food she received, she returns Granger they want you to go this is the follow
message. Seek to conceal
that your husband says I love you say I love you very much.
He says I said I'm wanting
whatever you receive that your disposition, your personality is to exceed the favor showing you
and then the Prophet describes the opposite of that.
He says of the reasons some of the women will enter Hellfire, yet for the last year. They are ungrateful for the life that they have with their husband. They make poof, ungrateful for the kindness show, there isn't a
reason resurgence of no return. So these are some of the elemental issues that we need to be on guard demand the best by receiving and giving the best.
I hope this section Yani I can
hold your emotions.
When you remember who said,
when the magician through the state law says, well,
when moussaka snakes have all these magicians who threw the rope and sticks the significant priests and magicians moves that just
moves across scared in himself fee Nazi himself. What does that mean? It means people looking at it. They couldn't tell the scale. He held this emotion.
You sick you see what?
Hold your emotion.
The way human performance I send them.
She was taught by robots, I send them more than one can be held to hold.
One time as an old woman, the prophet is sitting next to me.
And an older woman comes out and she doesn't tell us her name. She hated her so much. She just called to the whole. So I use
this old lady. This old woman came
and she cursed me. She said a bad word to
me she was given. I'll give it right back.
And she says
I was going to answer her. Hold on. Let me go to the
fall. He went and never
saw his face. If I spoke back to her, he would be upset.
She went on her business Take me back
in front of my husband.
So I said oh, it's Matt.
And I say no, no. upset. I was fine. That third time, three shirts.
She comes back. She says I said I'm gonna class. And I'm sorry.
He would not be angry.
I took victory.
I destroy your face when
she left and never came back. Right? But it shows you how each of your mama
she couldn't total percent the puppets
taught you to hold.
Hold her tongue. Hold her tongue now sisters. Sometimes you go too far.
I don't know what's wrong. I say What do you mean? They will ask you what's wrong? I don't know. She won't tell me.
I said how long? Three weeks.
Three weeks she didn't talk to you.
buy a lot by honoring
your love for photography.
Because the only thing I want to find out what
God will tell me. I come visit the home.
She goes he should know.
I said look, tell me tell me.
Now this is where the sisters You know, sometimes you guys go a little bit too far.
She said I can't remember what it is. But he knows what.
So it's been so long forgotten.
Yes, she goes, it's not what he did. It's how it made me feel.
Because the way you guys feel is different to the way we think. You know, my wife has a car accident. When she leaves when she leaves.
What happens if I asked my friend if I asked another name to say I was on
a dog ran on the road.
Now he asked my wife What happened?
I was feeling very emotional.
And you know, I have this phone call.
I say goodbye, the car as your morning. I know, but I'm telling you what?
I said, No, no, what happened at that time of the accident? I know I'm getting to that. Tell me what happened.
So then I said, After that phone call, I had to call my sister. So I thought
it made me feel better. And then I told her
what happened to the car.
Because I'm gonna tell you just wait, listen to what
with emotion, you connect things with emotion. You don't connect them with facts.
Because the facts A plus B equals C, but you say hey, have emotions
he had a friend
emotionally have to restrain.
One of the reasons
we find a lot of difficulty at times and strife is lack of communication, or communication at the wrong time. By instead of saying what you want, in a way that can be understood by the other person.
Sometimes you don't even have to tell your husband his stories like this long story here. And he's Why are you telling me this, I just want to know this. And you get upset that he's not listening to you.
But you're not talking to him. That's the problem.
restraining sometimes you have to hold your emotion. Sometimes you have to also release your
systems. I always tell the brothers You know, when there's arguments, men are very vocal. Sometimes, you know, we try something there or be loud.
And then the sister goes quiet. She's like a submarine.
He doesn't know he doesn't know this before he goes.
Nuclear War started. He swimming doesn't know that. He worried about fish.
So you put these torpedoes in the water and your poor husband.
He doesn't know what's coming.
Because you're under that he doesn't see the battle carrier, because he doesn't see that they
don't suck nuclear war. Without you know, shooting to shoot a warning shot. Say I'm unhappy because of this. It makes life much easier.
To express it sometimes and make things easier. Don't worry, I'll talk to the brothers about how to help you express yourself.
All right, don't take my word for it.
love what you do.
And one of the ways to find happiness in our life is to love what you do. And you might say for the echo. I don't love what I'm doing now.
But in everything in mind, there will be something you love and something you hate. Whether it's your studies or being an old with the children or whatever it is, they're all being always the moment you love, a moment you hate. begin to shift yourself to enjoy the adventures and the difficulties. You know, I wrote an article is called the tsunami of love the politics of
the tsunami. And I'm saying that love can manifest itself in changing diapers. And she loved me because I changed diapers at night. He would say this is one of the reason why.
Sir, what did I do what's so special you think that they can
ask you in the morning instead of waiting
I, who knew that love was in changing poopy diapers.
But if you were to ask someone who's not getting married, what are the things that you're gonna love in your wife or your husband, you never say, Oh, I'm gonna love, he's gonna change smelly diapers in the middle of the night. But that becomes the reason. All of a sudden the love, it's no longer you know, Oh, I love you SMS and all this stuff. It's a green sugar, we need some more onions at home, can you drop by the chop and then a little
as we find love, right. So it changes it changes
from one thing to another. So look for the things that will make you happy. Learn to LA some things that you never expected you would
love what you do see passion in whatever it is that you see.
Now the last three are linked to each other. So I'm going to say them figure number 1819 and 20.
Is Forget the past.
Number 18. Forget the past
19 ignore the future.
Don't focus on the future.
So forget the past, ignore the future, leave, present,
leave the present.
Don't dwell in the past. If I had done this, if I had studied disagree, if I had married this person, if I had done this, if I had made that decision. No, that statement is from the words of the Prophet five level had. If I
had done this, instead of this, this is the statement of the shape on now. Focus on now.
And don't plan too much the future don't say, you know, there was one couple.
They said, Jeff, we want you to do our wedding.
I said when
much of our soon. No, we're gonna get married April 2016.
He said make sure you're free 2016. How is that possible? Looking?
It's good to be goal oriented.
Look where you are today. What you're doing today, when you
look to what you will do for the asset. Don't become so fixated and rigid about your future that you become blinded to opportunities in this room.
Don't say no, no, no, only this because in 10 years this is
no perhaps there is more than one route to that happiness that you see in two or one or three or four or five years time.
Don't become fixated on a particular aim or goal that you cannot envision your life without any particular objective. My sisters who are not getting married, don't have this idea of you know, Prince Charming.
He has to be like, you know, his scheme has to be Nescafe.
111. Sister, she said, Brother, I want my daughter you want someone you know. Yummy Nescafe. I said what do you mean?
She said no chocolate
So, if a nice man comes, maybe he's lost a cup of
coffee has to
you have to talk to
one of my students at university.
And my parents hate
and talk to my parents about what not to
do. She said,
I'm gonna change their mind. Why is the hated is
wonder what's wrong? He said, Well
he doesn't have an issue.
of the world
doesn't come from like a trust fund. We have lots of money do something. He doesn't have a job.
I say okay, and what's he gonna do? She said, Well, my parents at first I said,
she said, I want you to talk to them.
I love you
know you love your parents more than you love him. You might love something now
for the unmarried sister for the married ones don't say anything.
But for the sisters. Everything man your husband before you're going to resent African American.
He comes to you in a nice car. nice clothes smelling nice.
Coming from work. He was working to see sleep.
He came straight from work six o'clock at night.
He still looks sharp.
I love this. Then you get married?
Why don't you at six o'clock?
Why are you late? I'm not
even when I came to meet you. And
everybody else comes at five. Why are you what? Six?
Well, it's the job. Why do you dress like that? What do you mean this? Is this the same suit I wore when I first came to see who you're trying to look good for?
Why are you selling nice?
Nice for a law?
Oh, I got a promotion.
you don't have a nice car you like we have
you like that? Yes. Why do you have I know I don't want to do
the image you have changes. All of a sudden the man you love who's coming late? Why do you make Why do you dress? Why are you doing this? All of these are things that previously he will also look at your sister.
She is this this is
marriage, children use.
This is the reality.
So the scenes he thought he married you for are no longer there. But he married before this he made for them. Not there, then what happens?
You have to find love.
That's where the love is in a grocery list. I love
that beside the onions.
Then you find the reasons for that. And that's why when you know I love him, brother.
You don't know you
know, so you have to have the app.
So those three things are coming together we end with them and
don't focus on the past mistakes, happiness loss, difficulties, whatever it is, live in the moment don't see the future too much because
no one knows the future.
No one knows that even the plan and the fate that is for you a lot.
And I pray that most of the other gives you the best of the best of luck and makes easy our journey is doing so well. arrive at the slinger agenda. I pray for the loss of Patanjali in the body.
pleats his favorite grace upon and that you feel the joy that you keep it and appreciate it and retain it and that the soul is mitigated by your hope and your trust in the loss of time with Allah. I pray the loss of honors all those who were with us here today.
And the following up as an example of me and then for you a safe return home and job loss
do 1729 or 181 double zero, what
love for you.
the greatest stuff that a believer should be habitual with
a shot by the commander and a wonderful voice
which is our opener, our Lord
of the Rings
be good enough and protect us from
this is a journey is the most comprehensive to talk to us about last time I went to Allah and mentioned by the prophet
those who have gone to make high when they follow the student of the month I send them their follow up around the cabinet the thing that you say the most is that because
that is for the new year.
As for our families in particular, near the end of so often from
Allah subhanho wa Taala says on or better
as well as
our Lord give us from our families and our children that which will lead us let us see prevent that which will make us happy also from the drop of the profits are bigger it will be much smaller
all keeping regular in prayer and that I let my children burden this for me and be habitual
v3 Dharma or
happiness never hold each other to Allah also to regularly asked
it blesses us with increases our wealth and prevents our heart alarm.
Yes, the three dots
Now, which is
from Super Fun, fun, must
have been an
awful lot less us and our children, our families with us and also the throttle body and also
and also my children and those who come after me establish and regular in our prayers.
first one says chef says listen is
no this is an impossibility
well wishes for you facility and comfort and happiness in life, whether you reduce
stress and ulcers in the beginning of soapy water or
was not safe to give you distress, meaning it was sent to relieve your distress and review comments like that,
because I believe you can become happy. Now.
The next one is
important importance of marriage
only for men
any point. So what do I need to see or accept or relationship just as it is? Now, a lot has grown? I don't know why, what why am
I still missing. Now, also, the Allah is the one who has given us the path of life,
which is our path in life. It's like, a way to walk in life. And this time, on signs on the right to the end the lesson is
that if a person makes the wrong turn, they fall over. And they can find it very difficult to come back to the path. And also kind of Allah says up to shape on and you will know
the shape God wants you to follow the path so that you don't know how to get back, that you fall off, and you don't know which way to go. And one of the ways that the shape on dissuades us is that it makes our heart's desire, not what Allah desires for us that you're helpless helper becomes the thing that gives you guidance, rather than receiving the content from a lot. So a lot more efficient mobile app.
Have you seen
of the one who has made his desire his god, I love someone. But Allah tells me No, I cannot accept that. If I choose what my heart wants, at a moment in time,
that moment may not last. And that happiness or what I think could love may not be there. A week later, a month later, a phone call later. Sometimes it's just a phone call later. Sometimes it's not even a phone, it's an SMS late.
Sometimes you really
you hear the weight with this person or method for and all of a sudden a chapter in one's life.
What a loved one is what is easy for us, which is to leave a clean up right? Just like you will find that with someone who joins you in it.
And therefore so I say to my brothers and sisters, I don't say this.
I say this to Muslim men as well as to sue me.
Allah Subhana Allah says
must and asleep, someone who doesn't even own their own freedom.
Slave is better for you is a lever, then a master if they are pushing and company?
That's the answer that question.
The question was
so the question is, that's a different question.
So I wish I had specific rules to marry outside our faith for us to discuss the fifth in an honest way too much time. And it would not be serving justice to the word of the law. If I just give you a one answer. One minute, two minute answer. Yes, there are provisions in Islam that allow the man to marry
A woman have the book under certain conditions and under certain restraints and these things we don't have time to discuss now.
But inshallah, if someone wants something detailed about that they can email me and I will forward them a thorough research on that.
I wouldn't work at hotmail email. Yeah.
Hotmail Gmail. Yeah.
sort of thought is.
So this is the was asking
Yes. So point number one is knowing when to quit
the sister as a very good question. I don't know, sometimes we were pursuing something. And it seems like the Doors are closing. And we don't know if we should just back away and give up. When should we do that? If it is something for Allah never saw. If it is something for yourself as those who can you sincere advice. So for example, if someone is saving money to go to Hajj, every year, they want to go to Hajj, because don't have enough, you have to keep going for a walk. Someone wants to memorize number is equal to three, one year, two year, three years, 10 years, don't give up, keep going. Because it's a lot. It's a bother. But things in the dunia that are restricted by expertise
of others, financial constraints,
you know, matches of that. Take the advice of those who are experts in the field.
For sisters, for example, sometimes a sister will come and say brother got to have a child.
And it's very demoralizing that every time we go through a cycle, and we do in vitro, that doesn't happen for the essay, when should we keep up? I said I can't answer you have to
kill us. But when I said Do you still have money? Yes. You still have desire? Yes.
you have money, no, there's your answer.
Do you have money? Yes, you have desire for too much emotion.
I can't take another
stop. Right. So the decisions have to be your own. But the advice can be seen by experts and people who you trust.
And that's one of the reasons I said you have to look around to see what other people say. Don't ever going to walk alone isn't just just doing but just do it with others, those who will help you achieve the goal.
calling the rivalry
It's actually quite simple.
When someone is interested in marriage, when a sister is interested in marriage, from a brother,
she speaks to her wedding, her representative,
who then speaks to the public, it could be her father, it could be her brother, it could be
someone who she speaks through.
And this is something that is acceptable in Islam was done by the Sahaba. And it's something that should not be a cultural
non issue. Rather, when someone has a good photo, and cookie, and someone has a means, and he is a good catch, they say, then you have to efficiently right?
Throw the line and get your wedding involved. But as for assist you're contacting directly, this can be an enormous source of
an enormous source of inappropriate
tolerance, you have to be very careful with these. Now, I know in certain cultures, there's a little bit more freedom in terms of, you know,
young men and young sister that they get to know each other like that, with the approval of the woman.
without the approval of wedding, it is dangerous, and in my opinion,
afraid to call
somebody something along the lines of how do we learn to stop ourselves from
anything that is not good for me, a lot of Serbian.
May Allah subhanaw taala allow us to understand the beauty of our faith.
That which is done with Allah submission rings true happens. That which is done outside Allah permissions, even if it's the same act brings distress even if there was a moment or a taste of happiness. And therefore
it's important for us to separate between two things, our desire design
and fulfilling desire in a way that pleases lots of pilots as well. There are only two types of seating every Hall it's only two things really is either super hot or shallow. That was ever a mall or unrestrained.
Someone is doubtful of a law so they don't do something. The person doesn't have profession. The reason
is they don't really believe in
the law. They don't gentlemen, they don't just hang them if they believe
they crawl to them.
But because they don't believe completely, they kind of believe
why you're the one who commits adultery.
It's not the cause of death. Because of chapter one. I have design.
Class doesn't matter what anyone says. Allah said someone, you don't even even people have power and authority. You think to yourself, how could you know someone so great. So learning, Doctor, presidents of countries committed President Clinton, how cookie, chocolate blinded to the reality of life. So those are the two things. So when we say things that are wrong, there are many things that are harmed that bring joy, but the joy is only momentary. And when that momentary joy finishes, there is shame and sadness, and hiding from that which is right and not wanting other people to know who have one shame. why something is done in Canada and something is done for a loss of blessing. It
is something that is a source of pride
Your happiness because of
the first question is also important in the sense that it's important for us to find comfort in that which is our culture and our feet.
Sometimes we try to take on what we see happening in other parts of the world.
You know, when when I said YOLO earlier, everyone knows what that you know, you only live once your life
even when you look at some of the things that target us is the medium
to each of the maps, you got to do the do something the dream?
job offer free but you know,
you got to enjoy. Don't let a moment go by to the moment, Yes, okay. But not at the expense of the
data out. There is deception.
Meaning everything that you think you want, when you get it, you understand it was a mirage. Now, I want to end the lecture, but we'll end with this question.
Yep. All right.
When we wake up,
when we wake up in our brain, on the day of gentlemen, you're gonna wake up,
you're going to think your whole life was in
what's in Mirage?
And you're going to say
to others, who say Canada is too close. So
how long were we asleep for? Because in sort of the scene
who woke us up?
This is a mock,
you're gonna wake up the 80 years of your life, 60 7080 years, in comparison to the one baby of 50,000 years is like you had an app.
And you woke up
that every time you come to something that you think, is the source of happiness,
it is a mirage that has deceived you. Well, I get a lot of,
but you find a law there. And we'll give you your reward or punishment.
So you come to a moment in your life.
a local station, this is what you actually receive. Here is a reward for that marriage. He was the punishment for that relationship. He was the reward for that action for that slot. He was the punishment for the rebar for the singleness. Because what you see
here to be
permanent, but it was only temporary.
every day of your life. You wake up knowing that the real life My dear sisters in Islam is the next slide. Does that mean I shouldn't have any happiness
and you should plan for tomorrow and you should seize the day. And you should work hard but all the ways in that path. Don't fall off the cliff.
Don't move with the shape bar. Don't follow the steps because it will push you over the edge.
To come back to
the life we live is frenzy. The
Do I have
I am a traveler
shopping I used to carry a stick.
He wasn't he
had good legs.
And people asked him
he says to remind you on a journey
from here that you know the man upstairs in July tomorrow is going to hope to see
we have because not because it's not instead of knocking. buki he did it because he's a traveler. He was you know, this is my journey. I need to seek to carry me to the end of my journey. It's like I'm a hiker of a mountain. And a law tells you you are climbing the
What does it mean? You are making NSA
They allow us to reach the top which enters into those long. I pray that all mazzucato to Allah except the words and our actions today and makes you an art for those who are successful in our lives
and protect us from the disaster lafell I am honored to be with you. And I pray that I get to see you in our moments and other time last.