How To Be The Happiest Woman Part 2

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Yahya Ibrahim

Channel: Yahya Ibrahim

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Number 10

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we just said Just do it. Number 10 is you can't do it alone.

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Just do it, but you can't do it alone, you need help.

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You need that support.

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You need to surround yourself with people who are like minded who are in have initiatives who have desire who have happiness in their life.

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We're going to talk about math.

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If I give you 1 million positive,

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and I asked you to multiply it by negative one, you have 1 million positive

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and you multiply it by just one negative, that equal sign will bring you has to be negative, even if it's a million positive, just when negative multiplies into it makes everything negative

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cannot be you cannot have the equation be positive at the end.

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So therefore, you need people who will be positive, who will be energetic, who will be loving to Allah. Even if you say oh, I am hamdulillah I am strong and the man but you have that one person

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who is consistently and constantly and willingly and ultimately seeking to bring you away from Allah, you will find yourself eroding in that strength of Eman that you thought you would always keep.

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Just do it, but you need people to do it with people to help you accomplish your goals and your aims and your dreams in all of the facets of your life.

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Number 11

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excellence speaks for itself.

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You know, sometimes we say oh, you know, I have these ideas I have these I want to do I want to

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excellence is what is what really matters. It's what represents itself. It's not the secondary talk. It's not the things around it. It's not the things that will that are preparing for it. Excellence is what you seek to represent who you are.

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And therefore you know we have a you know, in America and Canada we say

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it's you have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk, you got to walk it you gotta prove yourself. You want to be a good mother. Show it it's not a I plan and I inshallah and no work towards it. Show that excellence in every in everything you do. And Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Manhattan mariamman anyone who's going to do anything and you

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let him prepare for it with excellence, let him see, to make it perfect. Your aim in life is not just to have faith and to do it halfway. Your aim is to see the mission through to fulfill the aim to arrive at completion at perfection in whatever it is that you see.

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Number 12

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Just do it. Have the right people to do it with seek excellence

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and believe that your do I will be answered.

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Because as hard as you work and as much excellence as you see. And as strong as the team you build and as strong as the family you have. And as much initiative as you want to read Willa hula you read you want but a lot doesn't want. Well luckily if I know my URI and Allah will do what he wants.

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So now you have

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a dot selected movement. It is the weapon of a believer it is the strength of a believer. So your heart to Allah subhanho wa Taala is what will assist you in attaining the excellence you see and the team that you're building and the desire to fulfill the aims that you have in your life.

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To turn to Allah subhanho wa Taala when you have no one is honored,

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but to turn to Allah when you have others around you is trusting Allah. See sometimes when everything is happy in our life, we forget that we still need a lot. So Allah

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Then takes away those who we are relying on instead of him Sopranos as you think you'll have a job and an income and hamdulillah money in the bank and everything is going smooth just in Perth. There was a brother, someone I know he's an engineer Mashallah he had a good job and hamdulillah the economy of Perth, although strong, there's you know, a little bit of shift in the market.

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And the brother has money saved in the bank and they were renting a home a nice home in a nice area with a nice car. And he lost his job. He You know, he was on contract, he said, I'll find a job soon. And hamdulillah no problem. His wife is a stay at home mommy of three children in the Islamic school. And for one month, two months, he's leaving office savings. So he's paying rent $2,000 a month, they had 10 $15,000 in savings. Oh, we still have some time. Two months, three months go by, and there's no income.

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Okay, let's move from this nice house to a smaller house. When he gave the lecture that he's leaving the home, he thought I will find another home easy to rent. But because he had three or four children, every time he goes to apply for a house, there's someone who has one or two children, or someone whose name is not, you know, Akhmad Mohammed.

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It could be you know, yet Abraham or john Abraham. I'm going to take john Abraham it's the same guy. same name. JOHN Abraham, are you Hi, Ryan? No, we don't like this. Yeah, I don't know what this is gonna take john. So they accepted other people's application. All of a sudden, let's move into a hotel. Out of out. This is a person who had a good job. He's living in a hotel, his family's in a hotel one week, two weeks, three weeks, four weeks.

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He doesn't want to ask for help, because he's a person who's always 100 and not been self sufficient.

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The money in the bank is dwindling. What happens? This is happening can happen to anyone.

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You think I have stability, a lot of tests you will have no one at home. You think you're healthy? well enough, no one nothing we will test you.

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Life

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and therefore

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you're linked to Allah subhanho wa Taala Mohammed Salah while he was sending them who the angels mission in life was to protect him. The Prophet would say to those who walk in front of me, you don't have to walk behind me. No one can harm me. The angels are behind me. Don't worry.

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But yet, he will make the heart to Allah.

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Asking them why I need you Allah.

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He can carry him over Allah I seek protection in the light of your face. And love the assura for renewal is buruma that removes the darkness here Allah Allahu Akbar.

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Seldom

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asks a law and you are too proud to ask a lot.

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You think because you're happy? You don't need to ask a lot. You think oh, no, I was it everything is I'm just making I say 100 learn? No. The profits are the last one he was sending them says adore.

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Who will

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do is the essence of your worship.

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The one who isn't asking Allah for everything in their life,

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to increase it and to protect it and to honor it.

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The one who isn't connected to a law with that surety of knowing Allah will enter them. They will be tested and their Eman will be shaken. The Prophet Mohammed sorry, Selim says is Allah whoa and to move on. I mean each other when you ask a law, having your heart Allah will answer you. Even though it's a big thing. Zachary Ali salam, he's an old man is shallow rot so shaven, his hair has burned off, he said, burned off into whiteness. his bones had weakened. His wife is old, never given birth. And he says, Oh Allah. I want a son. Give me a son. When the angel Gabriel comes and says, okay, Allah gave you a son. He goes, how?

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You were asking for it. And now you say how

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do I ask for the things you think could never happen? They will happen.

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The courier how's it gonna happen? It's gonna happen.

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Even the courier the Prophet of Allah is amazed. You should.

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Yes, he will come. How will it happen? He keeps on questioning debris until you bring himself

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The color of your Lord says it will happen. It's going to happen. Stop asking why or how it will happen.

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And therefore

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brings into life.

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That which you are unable to bring into life yourself. Number 13.

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When it's time to change, change,

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when it's time to change, change.

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And it's one of those issues in life, where sometimes we get stuck doing the same thing all the time, the same routine day after day.

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And it's almost as if we get habitual in it know, when it's time to change, when there is need change. Don't be stuck in your ways. Don't say this is what I learned. This is all I can do. Don't say this is my only way of doing things, no, adapt yourself to change. And this was the way of our Prophet Mohammed. So I send them an all of the Sahaba, who he built, who he raised up on their desire to change. And lots of Hannah Montana says, in the law, that you have

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a law who not change the good or bad over people, until they make the change themselves. Allah will not change your condition, until you change it until you make a movement towards that change.

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Number 14.

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The best

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is usually the simplest simple things.

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The Prophet Mohammed. So I said to him, he said,

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Allah desires from you, the small deeds that are always done by you, not the big beads that you do once right to small good deeds all the time, the rest of your life better for you than to do one good thing and never do anything again.

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The best of your life will be in those simple recurring acts, the words of praise you you inspiring your husband, the confidence that you build everyday in your children, the building of your knowledge of the Quran and the Hadith gradually, one a day to day three is a day, gradual steps to Allah Subhana Allah that you build to becoming the best. And that was the habit of our whenever you Mohammed solahart he was

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number 15

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demand the best from others. Don't accept that someone just gives you enough.

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Even if it's your own husband, I know the brothers are gonna get angry.

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But when you say it's a properly don't say show Yeah, it's a no, they I hope they're listening.

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demand the best.

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It's not demand with your word, but demand with your actions. The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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he teaches us you know, the, to offer always the best to Allah to our families. And therefore he talks about the relationship of a husband, his wife, as being high eurocom the best of you. It's not just the Muslim of you, the best of you. hydrocone is the best in his relationship with his family, right for husbands to their wives. So you must be demanding of that.

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That demand comes by you offering the same

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this is how you demand it's not you knock on huh? Okay, I'm home now Chelsea, I said I need the best.

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The car is not the best, I need the best. No. demand the best means you give the best. So you will receive the best and a loss of Hannah to Allah says in Nepal and when I wouldn't let the other human being

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to them is what you ask of them. What you want is what you give. Right? what you want from someone is what you give. And the prophets I send them talks about this quality for the Muslim woman in particular. He says to me to the men, does that word you Who should I choose to marry Who is the one that we see? Allah dude.

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A woman who is tender loving you feel in her how she was brought up her manners that she has softness femininity when you

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Second one who would nurturing that she will be nurturing to your children. She has she has an empathetic, soft side. What do what? And then the third attitude? Allah Oh Dr. Anita odoban Hi everyone men are old means that the good she receives she returns greater than what she got. This is the quality that Allah Subhana Allah and the messenger send them seek to instill in the Muslim man that your husband says I love you say I love you very much.

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He says I said I wanted to say what he said to law.

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Whatever you receive, that your disposition, your personality, is to exceed the favor shown to you.

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And then the Prophet describes the opposite of that, in the Hadith narrated by the commandment Bukhari.

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He says of the reasons some of the women will enter Hellfire, yet from the last year, they are ungrateful for the life that they have with their husband. They make Cuf ungrateful for the kindness shown, there isn't a re resurgence of it, and a return of it. So these are some of the elemental issues that we need to be unguardable demand the best by receiving and giving the best.

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Number 16

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It's a tough one.

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So forgive me.

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guard your emotions.

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Allah, Allah Allah make it easy. All right. I hope this section Yani I get out of your seat.

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Hold your emotions. musala you set up a lot of depicts an ayah in the Quran where Allah says, when we remember who said Musa got scared. When the magician threw the snakes law says, well, we'll just have enough sci fi but when musavat snakes have all these magicians who threw the ropes and sticks these Egyptian priests and magicians Moosa, Josephine FC FIFA, Moosa got scared in himself enough see him in himself. What does that mean? It means people looking at him they couldn't tell he's scared. He held his emotion.

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I will just have enough see he

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couldn't

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stop being scared.

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mean throw your stick, you'll see what happens.

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Hold your emotion.

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inshallah de la Juana.

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The wife of the prophets, I sell them. She was taught by Rasulullah saw I sell them in more than one study, how to hold her emotion. One time as the narrator mahadi an old woman, the prophet is sitting in a chair next to an older woman comes out. He doesn't tell us her name. She hated her so much. She just called her the older woman at the Tila Jews.

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Old lady. This old woman came

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and she cursed me. She said a bad word to me in front of Mohammed's eyes. And are you sure she was? Give it to her? I'll give it right back. I shall. He says

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I was going to answer her. But I said to myself, hold on. Let me look to the Prophet size. for a fee what he

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saw in his face. If I spoke back to her, he would be upset.

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at me electron FC I held myself

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for the habit while she went on her business came back. Some Bethany cursed me again in front of my husband. So Milan he was so I said, Hello. It's on now.

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To his face. And I saw him his face. No, no, he would be upset. So I was quite that habit. What Roger third time, three strikes, you're out.

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She comes back. She says I look to the prophets. I said I'm gonna

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and I saw in his face and

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he would not be angry from the sorrow.

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I took victory.

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You know?

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I destroyed her for that habit when

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she left and never came back. Right? But it shows you how to shadow your mama and she controlled herself the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam taught you to hold herself

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Hold her tongue. Hold her mo now sisters, sometimes you go too far.

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Many brothers, they say, brother. I don't know what's wrong. I say What do you mean? He goes, I asked her What's wrong? I don't know. She won't tell me.

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I said how long? Three weeks? Yalla?

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She doesn't talk three weeks. She didn't talk to you three weeks?

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Yes. Didn't say three days show. Go talk to me. Talk to her. By Allah. By the honor of the prophets. I send them by your love for Allah go talk to her. I see it. I mean, what do you want me to say? He goes, the only thing I want is to find out why.

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She won't even tell me why I come visit their home.

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I say sister, what's happened? She goes he should know.

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I said, Look, tell me tell me. I'll tell him.

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Now, this is where the sisters You know, sometimes you guys go a little bit too far.

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She said, I can't remember what it is. But he knows what he did. I said a lot. So it's been so long. You've forgotten yourself. And you just go with it. Yes. She goes, it's not what he did.

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It's how he made me feel

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like I see the system.

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Because the way you guys think is different to the way we think. You know, my if my wife has a car accident, when she rings me if she rings me.

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What happened? If I asked my friend if I asked another man, he'll say, I was on I was driving. A dog ran on the road. I hit a tree, Carlos.

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Now he asked my wife What happened?

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Well, you know,

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I was feeling very emotional from the morning. I say okay.

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And you know, I had this really terrible phone call.

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I said, Yeah, but I'm asking about the car accident, not your morning. I know. But I'm telling you what happened. I said, No, no, what happened at that time of the accident? I know I'm getting to that. I'm going to tell you what happened. As Okay, tell me what happened. So then I said, After that phone call, I had to call my sister. So I spoke to Robbie for half an hour. And she made me feel better. And then I told her, Okay, I see ya see what happened to the car.

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She goes, I'm gonna tell you just wait, listen to what happened.

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You, sisters, thing with emotion, you connect things with emotion. You don't connect things with facts, which is a problem we have with you. Because we're thinking about the fact a plus b equals C. But you say a had emotions. And B was sensitive. And c had a friend, which may be we don't know where they came from.

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emotion, we have to restrain it, you have to hold it.

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One of the reasons

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we find a lot of difficulty at times and strife is lack of communication or communication at the wrong times. Right? Instead of saying what you want, in a way that can be understood by the other person.

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Sometimes, you know, you come to tell your husband his story, like this long story that I would hear. And he's Why are you telling me this? I just want to know this. And you get upset that he's not listening to you.

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But you're not talking to him? That's the problem. Right.

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restraining sometimes you have to hold your emotion. Sometimes you have to also release your emotion. Sisters, I always tell the brothers you know when there's arguments, men are very vocal. And sometimes, you know, we try some men. They're a bit loud.

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Okay.

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And then the sister goes quiet. She's like a submarine.

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underwater.

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He doesn't know he doesn't know. There's torpedoes in the washer. Nuclear War has started. He's swimming doesn't know that like my shareen worried about fish? No, this torpedoes brother. All right.

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So you put these torpedoes in the water and your poor husband.

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He doesn't know what's coming.

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Because you're under down. He doesn't see the battle carrier. He doesn't see the danger. Take it easy on

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Your husband's right.

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Don't start nuclear war. Without you know, shooting, shoot, shoot a warning shot, say I'm unhappy because of this. It makes life much easier, right? To express it sometimes and make things easier. Don't worry, I'll talk to the brothers about how to help you express yourself in sharp.

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All right, don't tell my wife, I talk to you about the car accident.

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Number 17.

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love what you do.

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And one of the ways to find happiness in our life is to love what you do. And you might say, Well, you know what, I don't love what I'm doing now.

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But in everything in life, there will be something you love and something you hate. Whether it's your studies or being at home with the children or whatever it is, there will be always be moments you love, and moments you hate. begin to shift yourself to enjoy the adventures and the difficulties. You know, I wrote an article it's called the tsunami of love about the prophets. I send them and it's like with Arusha you can google it inshallah.

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the sin of love. And I say in it, that love can manifest itself in changing diapers. My wife, she loved me. Because I changed diapers at night. She would say, this is one of the reasons I love you Why.

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For what did I do? What's so special? You change the diapers?

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at two in the morning, instead of waking me You did it? Allahu Akbar, right? Who knew that love was in changing poopy diapers? But there it is. Right? If you were to ask someone who's not yet married, what are the things that you're going to love in your wife and your husband? You never say, Oh, I'm gonna love he's gonna change smelly diapers in the middle of the night. But that becomes the reason. All of a sudden the love it's no longer you know, Oh, I love you SMS and all this stuff. It's Can you bring sugar, we need some more onions at home, can you drop by the shop, and then a little, I love you.

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If that's where you find love, right? So it changes it changes

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from one thing to another. So look for the things that will make you happy. Learn to love some things that you never expected you would love.

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Love what you do seek passion in whatever it is that you see.

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Now the last three are linked to each other. So I'm going to save them together. Number 1819 and 20.

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Is Forget the past.

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Number 18. Forget the past 19 ignore the future.

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Don't focus on the future.

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So forget the past, ignore the future. Leave the present. Leave the president

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don't dwell in the past. If I had done this, if I had studied this degree, if I had married this person, if I had done this, if I had made that decision. No, that statement is from the words of the profits, I sell them low had I if I had done this instead of this, this is the statement of the shape on now. Focus on now.

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And don't plan too much the future don't say, you know, there was one couple.

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They said CEF we want you to do our wedding.

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I said when

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Michelle monsoon No, we're gonna get married April 2016. So law club.

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Yeah, they said make sure you free 2016

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How is that possible? Looking, you know, looking into such pressure. It's good to be goal oriented, but still

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look to where you are today. plan what you're doing today? Well, it sounds good enough to map them into light. look to what you will do for the accurate but don't become so fixated and rigid about your future that you become blinded to opportunities in the dunya.

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Don't say no, no, no, only this because in 10 years, this is what will happen. No, perhaps there is more than one route to that happiness that you see in two or one or three or four or five years time.

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Don't become

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fixated on a particular aim or goal that you cannot envision your life without. And in particular, I say to my sisters who are not yet married, don't have this idealized view. You know, Prince Charming.

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He has to be like, you know, his skin has to be Nescafe.

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111. Sister, she said, Brother, my wife, my daughter, we want someone you know, yummy Nescafe. I said, What do you mean?

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She said, not chocolate.

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Not latte, but Nescafe.

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I don't understand. What do you mean? She said, his skin his skin?

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So if a nice man comes, maybe he's laughing, not cappuccino. You're gonna say no.

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We have to. You have to think yes, the thing. Another sister? Brother. Yeah.

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You have to talk too much about what?

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One of my students at university. I've got one. Brother, I love him. Okay.

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And my parents hated

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and talk to my parents. About what? Not to hate him. I said, but they hate him. She said change their mind. Please share. I'm gonna change their mind. Why do they hate him? is escaping me?

00:31:36--> 00:31:37

No, no, I didn't say

00:31:38--> 00:31:41

why do they hate him? What's wrong with it? They said well,

00:31:43--> 00:31:46

he doesn't have an education and said,

00:31:48--> 00:31:51

you know, it's not the end of the world. I said, Does he have a job? No.

00:31:54--> 00:31:55

I said oh.

00:31:57--> 00:32:06

Does he come from like a trust fund? He has lots of money or something. He doesn't have a job knowing what you're gonna do. No, no, brother. He doesn't.

00:32:07--> 00:32:15

I say okay. And what's he how you gonna live? She said, Well, we'll live with my parents at first I said but they hate him.

00:32:16--> 00:32:20

She said yes. That's why I want you to talk to them. About how

00:32:23--> 00:32:25

I love him. How do you love him?

00:32:26--> 00:32:31

No, you love your parents more than you love him. You might love something now.

00:32:33--> 00:32:48

For the unmarried for the married ones don't say anything. Okay, but for the unmarried sisters. Everything you marry your husband for you're going to resent after you're married. You're gonna hate it.

00:32:50--> 00:32:55

He comes to you in a nice car. nice clothes smelling nice.

00:32:56--> 00:33:00

Coming from work. He was working till six late you say Oh?

00:33:01--> 00:33:11

He came straight from work six o'clock at night. We made him some food and he still looks sharp and smell the Mashallah Mashallah I love this. Then you get married?

00:33:13--> 00:33:15

Why are you here at six o'clock?

00:33:17--> 00:33:18

Why are you late? I'm not

00:33:19--> 00:33:36

even when I came to marry you. I came at six. Everybody else comes at five. Why are you at six? Allahu Akbar. Well, it's the job. Why are you dressed like that? What do you mean this? Is this the same suit I wore when I first came to see you who you're trying to look good for.

00:33:38--> 00:33:43

Why are you smelling nice? Who is smelling nice for a lot well

00:33:45--> 00:33:47

Oh, I got a promotion.

00:33:48--> 00:33:48

Why?

00:33:50--> 00:33:59

Because you know and hamdulillah you know we have got you know the nice car you like we have payments? You like that night? Yes. Why do you have I know I don't want it anymore.

00:34:01--> 00:34:19

The image you have changes all of a sudden the menu love who's coming late? Why are you late? Why are you dressed? Why are you doing this? This means that all of these are things that previously you he will also look at your sister. Don't be upset now.

00:34:21--> 00:34:24

The brothers are Mashallah she's, she's beautiful.

00:34:25--> 00:34:28

She is this, this, this?

00:34:29--> 00:34:30

And then

00:34:34--> 00:34:39

marriage, children years, right?

00:34:40--> 00:34:41

Things change.

00:34:42--> 00:34:43

Don't be upset now.

00:34:44--> 00:34:46

This is the reality.

00:34:47--> 00:34:57

So the things he thought he married you for are no longer there. Right? He married you for this image for this. Not there. Then what happens?

00:35:00--> 00:35:11

You have to find love in poopy nappies right? That's where the love is in a grocery list. I love Oh, I love you. She said that beside the onions.

00:35:13--> 00:35:14

This is

00:35:15--> 00:35:16

wow.

00:35:19--> 00:35:27

Then you find really love the reasons for love. And that's why when you know I love him brother, I say you don't love him. You don't know him to

00:35:29--> 00:35:33

know. So you have to have the x.

00:35:35--> 00:35:52

So those three things are tied together we end with them in mind. Don't focus on the past mistakes, happiness, loss, difficulties, whatever it is, live in the moment don't see the future too much because law

00:35:53--> 00:36:01

in the law, no one knows the future except a lot. No one knows the aim and the plan and the faith that is for you except a lot.

00:36:03--> 00:36:37

And I pray that Allah subhana wa tada gives you the best of fate and the best of others, and makes easy our journey in this dunya so that we arrive at the splendor of gender. And I pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala de la de Manila that he completes his favor and grace upon you, and that you feel the joy and that you keep it and appreciate it and retain it and that the sorrow is mitigated by your hope and your trust in Allah subhanho wa Taala I pray that Allah subhana wa Taala honors all of those who were with us here today with the love of the Prophet and commandments.

00:36:38--> 00:36:41

And the following of his example Allahumma amin

00:36:42--> 00:36:49

and I pray you a safe return home in sha Allah Subhana Allah home over a Chateau La Ilaha Illa

00:36:51--> 00:36:54

la wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

00:37:11--> 00:37:28

the greatest draft that a believer should be habitual with Baraka Luffy is the DA that was reciting Ethan Salatin a shot by the Imam who had a wonderful voice Mashallah which is Rob banner, our Lord as you know do

00:37:29--> 00:38:01

what he has to know pinata now I will know give us good in the dunya and good in the after us and protect us from hellfire. This jar is a German, it is the most comprehensive taught to us about Allah Subhana Allah Allah and mentioned by the prophet Mohammed's I send them those who have gotten to make harsh when they follow the student of the prophets, I send them their Co Op around the Kava, the thing that you say the most is that there are because it is the dua that is for the dunya and in the

00:38:03--> 00:38:57

US for our families in particular, near the end of Surah Al Furqan. Allah Subhana which Allah says in Surah 10 for fun, or abana have learner as well Gina what lulea Tina? Are you Our Lord give us from our families and our children, that which will please us, let us see from them that which will make us happy also from the drop of the prophets or be Gianni mopey masala woman do Righetti. Oh Allah keep me regular in prayer and that and let my children learn this for me and be habitual involved in this Allah v3 da are the DA that put happiness in our home in sha Allah to Allah. Also to regularly ask Allah subhana wa Taala for is the fall and so far blesses us with children and

00:38:57--> 00:39:01

increases our wealth and prevents our harm. Alarm me.

00:39:05--> 00:39:07

Abraham Ali is set up

00:39:10--> 00:39:11

Yes, the three door

00:39:12--> 00:39:39

opener Tina. Senator Murphy, Senator Murphy nada now, which is in salt and pepper. from Susan pecan, and loss of Hannah Montana says Urbana have Lenin as well. You never get enough food water are you? Allah bless us and our children, our families with that which will please us and also the daughter of Nabila Ibrahim, Ibrahim and also in Surah, Al Baqarah.

00:39:40--> 00:39:51

Ki masala giulietti Allah keep me and also my children and those who come after me, established and regular in our prayers A lot

00:39:54--> 00:39:54

has

00:39:56--> 00:39:58

been wondering, are we taking three questions at a time

00:40:00--> 00:40:03

But I'm also getting questions already.

00:40:04--> 00:40:04

So

00:40:06--> 00:40:52

yes, this one says, Chef, it says such a thing that a person is not meant to be happy at all, you know, this is an impossibility Allah subhanho wa Taala. Yuri do ma hooby como use a lot of wishes for you facility and comfort and happiness in life. When are you ready to become a nurse and a law does not wish you distress. And Allah says in the beginning of soul of the law, ha ha ha, ma zelina alikum call this Quran was not sent to give you distress, meaning it was sent to relieve your distress and bring you happiness, right, the intent of the Quran Lita sad, so that you can become happy. Now.

00:40:56--> 00:40:57

The next one is

00:41:02--> 00:41:05

marriage for sex. It's only for men.

00:41:07--> 00:41:08

Perhaps

00:41:13--> 00:41:18

discourages friends out of our religion to be friends.

00:41:22--> 00:41:31

So how do I need to see ourselves by relationship just as it is now? Everyone has to be I don't know my work

00:41:36--> 00:42:25

naam Allah subhanho wa Taala is the one who has given us the path of life and that's the word Shetty on the Witcher VR means our path in life. It's like shout out a way to walk in line. And this path, on its sides, on the right of it and the left of it is a cliff, that if a person makes the wrong turn, they fall over. And they can find it very difficult to come back to the path. And the loss of Hallo to Allah says you read to shape on and you will look on color and the shape on wants you to fall off the path so that you don't know how to get back, that you fall off and you don't know which way to go. And one of the ways that the shape and dissuades us is that he makes our heart's desire

00:42:26--> 00:43:05

not what Allah desires for us, that your health becomes the the thing that gives you guidance rather than receiving the guidance from Allah. So Allah warns us of this on our eighth Emily de la Hawa. Have you seen the condition? Yeah, Mohammed. So I send them Omar Mohammed, of the one who has made his desire his god, I love someone. But Allah tells me No, I cannot accept that. If I choose what my heart wants, at a moment in time,

00:43:06--> 00:43:34

that moment may not last. And that happiness or what I think of love may not be there a week later, a month later, a phone call later. Sometimes it's just a phone call later. Sometimes it's not even a phone. It's an SMS later. Sometimes you read something about someone later, you see a picture on Facebook, you hear he did went with this person or methods and all of a sudden it shatters one's life.

00:43:35--> 00:44:01

What a loved ones is what is easy for us, which is to live a clean, upright just life. You will find that with someone who joins you in it in obedience of a loss of power and water. And therefore so I say to my brothers and sisters, I don't say this just to the Muslim sisters. I say this to Muslim men as well as to Muslim women.

00:44:02--> 00:44:08

Allah subhana wa to Allah says in the Quran, when I do my

00:44:10--> 00:44:17

algebra, Allah says, and a sleeve, someone who doesn't even own their own freedom.

00:44:18--> 00:44:27

A slave is better for you if they are a believer, then a master if they are emotionally, an unbeliever.

00:44:28--> 00:44:33

That's the answer that I give for this question in sha Allah who data

00:44:35--> 00:44:35

perhaps

00:44:38--> 00:44:41

to clarify the question on whether

00:44:42--> 00:44:44

the allowing

00:44:47--> 00:44:47

is limited.

00:44:50--> 00:44:52

So the question is, that's a different question.

00:44:54--> 00:44:59

Okay, so I wish I had specific rules to marry

00:45:00--> 00:45:29

outside our faith, for us to discuss the fifth in an honest way, I would need too much time. And it would not be serving justice to the word of Allah. If I just give you a one answer. One minute two minutes answer. Yes, there are provisions in Islam that allow a Muslim man to marry a woman of the book under certain conditions and under certain restraints and the things we don't have time to discuss now.

00:45:31--> 00:45:39

But inshallah, if someone wants something detailed about that, they can email me and I will forward them. A thorough research on that and

00:45:42--> 00:45:51

yes, my email very easy. Yeah, Ibrahim act as one word at hotmail Gmail. Yeah.

00:45:52--> 00:45:53

I have them all.

00:45:54--> 00:45:57

Why? Ah, boy, ie Rdh.

00:45:59--> 00:46:01

Hotmail Gmail? Yeah. Anyone?

00:46:04--> 00:46:04

out

00:46:13--> 00:46:13

there?

00:46:22--> 00:46:22

Yes.

00:46:32--> 00:46:32

Now,

00:46:34--> 00:46:34

so what

00:46:37--> 00:46:39

sort of thought is,

00:46:41--> 00:46:43

so this is the was asking?

00:46:50--> 00:46:51

Any

00:46:56--> 00:46:59

sister there? You want to use?

00:47:21--> 00:47:22

Going for?

00:47:25--> 00:47:29

Yes. So point number 20. Knowing when to quit, right.

00:47:31--> 00:47:47

The sister is a very good question. No, in our life, sometimes we're pursuing something. And it seems like the Doors are closing. And we don't know if we should just back away and give up. When should we do that? If it is something for Allah never stop.

00:47:48--> 00:48:26

If it is something for yourself, ask those who can give you sincere advice. So for example, if someone is saving money to go to Hajj, and every year they want to go to hygiene, they just don't have enough. You know, you have to keep going. It's for a lot. Someone wants to memorize the Quran. It's difficult. It's been one year, two years, three years. 10 years, don't give up, keep going. Because it's for Allah, it's a burden. But things in the dunya that are restricted by expertise of others, financial constraints,

00:48:27--> 00:48:38

you know, matches of that. Take the advice of those who are experts in the field. For sisters, for example, sometimes a sister will come and say, brother, yeah, I've been trying to have a child.

00:48:39--> 00:48:52

And it's very demoralizing that every time we go through a cycle, and we do in vitro, that doesn't happen for the day, when should we give up? I say I can't answer you have to answer.

00:48:53--> 00:49:06

She goes back when I said, Do you still have money? Yes. Do you still have desire? Yes. There's your answer. Do you have money? No. There's your answer.

00:49:07--> 00:49:24

Do you have money? Yes. Do you have desire or too much emotion? How long? I can't take another color stop. Right. So the decisions have to be your own. But the advice can be submitted by experts and people who you trust.

00:49:26--> 00:49:42

And that's one of the reasons I said, you have to look around you. You have to listen to what other people say. Don't ever go into a wall alone. It's not just Just do it. But just do it with others those who will help you achieve the golden shot.

00:49:54--> 00:49:56

be helpful for us to do

00:49:58--> 00:49:58

our work

00:50:11--> 00:50:12

So

00:50:16--> 00:50:19

how to approach a man posing the right way?

00:50:21--> 00:50:22

for marriage?

00:50:24--> 00:50:25

very serious question.

00:50:30--> 00:50:32

It's actually quite simple.

00:50:34--> 00:50:42

When someone is interested in marriage, when a sister is interested in marriage, from a brother,

00:50:43--> 00:50:47

she speaks to her wedding, her representative,

00:50:48--> 00:51:42

who then speaks to the brother, it could be her father, it could be her brother, it could be her uncle could be someone who she speaks through them. And this is something that is acceptable in Islam was done by the Sahaba. And it's something that should not be a cultural, you know, non issue. Rather, when someone is a good Hello, and good deal. And someone has a means and he is a good catch, as they say, then you have to fish him in right, you have to throw them throw the line and get your Willie inshallah involved. But as for a sister, contacting a brother directly, this can be an enormous source of fitna and an enormous source of inappropriate behavior that Islam does not

00:51:42--> 00:51:58

tolerate, we have to be very careful with these things. Now, I know in certain cultures, there's a little bit more freedom in terms of, you know, a young man and a young sister that they get to know each other and things like that, with the approval of the wedding.

00:52:00--> 00:52:05

without the approval of the Wali It is dangerous, and in my opinion, unacceptable.

00:52:12--> 00:52:12

In a

00:52:16--> 00:52:17

world of

00:52:21--> 00:52:21

meaning,

00:52:24--> 00:52:27

we're free to let it go. And I'm going to take that to another question that

00:52:29--> 00:52:40

says something along the lines of how to be willing to stop ourselves from finding happiness and enjoying things in this world and being happy right.

00:52:41--> 00:52:42

Now,

00:52:43--> 00:52:49

anything that is forbidden. Now, when I use that word forbidden, it means a law has forbidden it.

00:52:51--> 00:52:57

May Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us to understand the beauty of our faith.

00:52:58--> 00:53:17

That which is done with a loss permission brings true happiness. That which is done outside a loss permission, even if it's the same act brings distress, even if there is a moment or a taste of happiness. And therefore

00:53:19--> 00:53:54

its impact important for us to separate between two things, our desire and fulfilling our desire in the way that pleases Allah subhanho wa Taala as well. There are only two types of sin, every Halong it's only two things really. It's either super hot or shanwa doubt about a law or unrestrained desire. Those are the two sins of the world. Someone is doubtful of a law so they don't do something. The person who doesn't wake up for pleasure. The reason they don't wake up for fudge, is they don't really believe in a lot.

00:53:55--> 00:54:18

They felt a lot they dealt gentlemen, they dealt jahannam if they believed in jahannam, they would wake up as the property sell themselves. They would crawl to the masjid for their prayer. But because they don't believe completely, they kind of believe there's doubt. Why is the one who commits adultery.

00:54:19--> 00:54:46

It's not because he doubts a lot. It's because of chat one. I have this I'm gonna fulfill class doesn't matter what anyone says. Allah said someone you know, even even people have power and authority. You think to yourself, how could you know someone so great. So learning, Doctor, presidents of countries coming to President Clinton, how could you shadow blinded

00:54:47--> 00:54:53

to the reality of life. So those are the two things so when we say things that are wrong,

00:54:54--> 00:54:59

there are many things that are hot on that bring joy, but the joy is only momentary.

00:55:00--> 00:55:24

When that momentary joy finishes, there is shame and sadness and hiding from that which is right and not wanting other people to know of one shame. While when something is done in Holland and something is done for a loss of China which is a blessing, it is something that is a source of pride and there's complete and utter happiness because of it in Sharma

00:55:25--> 00:56:16

The first question is also important in the sense that it's important for us as Muslims to find comfort in that which is our culture and our Deen our religion. Sometimes we try to take on what we see happening in other parts of the world. You know, when when I said YOLO earlier, everyone knows what that you know, you only live once you got to enjoy your life you got, you know, even when you look at some of the things that target us in the media, do it to the max, you got to do the Do you know it's there's something a drink, right? Do it to the mountain jump off a bridge, you know, is that whoa? Is he gonna enjoy? Don't let a moment go by? seize the moment. Yes. Okay. But not at the

00:56:16--> 00:56:34

expense of the alpha. And the dhulia is metallic rule. There is deception in its beauty. Meaning everything that you think you want when you get it. You understand it was a mirage. Now, I want to end the night on a good note. We'll end with this question in German.

00:56:35--> 00:56:36

Yeah, all right.

00:56:38--> 00:56:48

When you wake up, I want you to listen. When we wake up in our grave, on the day of judgment, you're gonna wake up

00:56:49--> 00:56:55

you're going to think your whole life was a dream was a mirage.

00:56:57--> 00:57:12

And you're gonna stand on the day of judgment and you will whisper to others, you will say can live is to Allah says, we will say to each other. How long were we asleep for? Because in Soulja scene, member of Santa Monica, who woke us up.

00:57:15--> 00:57:29

Man, this is what Allah has promised, you're gonna wake up the 80 years of your life, 60 7080 years, in comparison to the one day of 50,000 years is like you had a nap.

00:57:30--> 00:57:31

And you woke up.

00:57:32--> 00:57:40

Lord tells you in the Quran, that every time you come to something that you think, is the source of happiness.

00:57:41--> 00:57:57

It is a mirage that has deceived you when you're the low hanging over February 7, but you find a lot there, and will give you your reward or punishment. So you come to a moment in your life.

00:57:58--> 00:58:24

And on the app alone will say to you, this is what you actually received. Here is the reward for that marriage. He was the punishment for that relationship. He was the reward for that action for that soldier. He was the punishment for the rebel for the sinfulness. Because what you see is, it appeared to be

00:58:25--> 00:58:27

permanent, but it was only temporary.

00:58:29--> 00:58:30

It was deception.

00:58:31--> 00:58:55

every day of your life, you wake up, knowing that the real life My dear sisters in Islam is the next slide. Does that mean I shouldn't have any happiness? No, you should have lots of happiness. And you should plan for tomorrow. And you should seize the day. And you should work hard but always in that path. Don't fall off the cliff.

00:58:56--> 00:59:08

Don't move with the shavon don't follow his steps because he will push you over the edge and you will know how May Allah protect us to come back to a loss of planet.

00:59:09--> 00:59:21

The life we live is trending z and the Prophet Mohammed sigh send them said Maddie, what do you do now? What do I have from this? dunya I am a traveler, some Aloha,

00:59:22--> 00:59:26

Alabama sharpei he used to carry a stick.

00:59:27--> 00:59:35

He wasn't eating a stick. He will you know he had good legs. No problem. And people asked him Yeah, why do you carry that stick?

00:59:36--> 01:00:00

He said to remind me I'm on a journey. Allahu Akbar. Compare that you know that Imam upstairs in Juma tomorrow he's gonna hold the stick. Because you guys are sharper. He right? He's doing it because remember Shepard did it. Why didn't he do it? Because not because it's a state. Not in celebrate. Not in routine. He did it.

01:00:00--> 01:00:35

Because he's a traveler, he was you know, this is my journey I need to stick to to carry me to the end of my journey. It's like I'm a hiker up a mountain. And a lot tells you you are climbing analogy. Ville Malik sorta marriage. What does it mean? You are making an ascent up this difficult mountain of the dunya May Allah allow us to reach the top, which enters into gender to fill those, a lot of them I mean, I pray that Allah subhana wa Taala accept the words and our actions here today

01:00:36--> 01:00:52

and makes you a life from those who are successful in our dunya and in the afterlife, and protects us from the random Jazakallah lafell I am honored to have been with you and I pray that I get to see you in other moments and other times we'll after that one and hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen Subhana Allah