The Knowledge – Can A Muslim Woman Marry A Non-Muslim
Channel: Wasim Kempson
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Episode Transcript ©
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boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, okay? Why is it that a man, a Muslim man can, can marry anyone, but a Muslim woman cannot marry outside of Islam? Why is that? You know, generally, that history tells us that the man is usually the head of the household, the main breadwinner, and Islamically. This is how it is viewed. That, you know, Allah tells us and explains things in the Quran, that man has been given a responsibility to protect his women folk. Now, just because we live in a certain environment, a certain Western civilization, which may view that differently. Okay, we're entitled to see things a little bit differently, as Muslims were given that freedom, it
doesn't mean that a person has given a
the culture that they live in, and you have to live like that, that men and women are both breadwinners, that the women go outside and work and so on, and so forth. Just like the men were in this country, a man and the woman as Muslims, they are free to live by the understanding that a man will be the protector and serve and look after his family, so that the wife, if you like, can protect his wealth, protect her home, protect her children. So this kind of setup throughout centuries and centuries, has been something which is successful, is tried and tested.
It's only now that you find that when, due to the, you know, sometimes economical situations that both the man and the woman have to work, and Islamic law, it's not something prohibited, a woman can work, a man can work, as long as the environment that they're working in is something suitable, and in line with, you know, the teachings of Islam.
So, if it is the case, that the both the man and the woman are always out of the home, then who is going to look after the children, you know, the best teacher, for any child is the mother, without any doubt. And if the mother
has to always stay away from the child, then the child will miss out on a great deal of affection and love that nobody else can give to that child except the mother. So Islamically This is how we see it, it is not looking down upon anybody. It is a tried and tested understanding. And it goes through many, many hundreds of yours. And in fact, it is not something specific to Islam. But many cultures, many Western cultures had this previous in before World War Two, it was the man who went out and he was the breadwinner, and that the woman she would the wife would look after the children would you know, you know, look after things in this manner. Only after World War Two the things you
know, to rebuild the country that things changed. So it's important, again, we put things into context. It's not about isolating one particular situation or time and saying that this is how i Everybody has to be. Can we put things into context, just because we're living like this? It doesn't mean it is right. My wife was telling me about maybe big boys, because
for the man, you said, He's the head of the household. And for the woman, that means that all the prophets will be accepted. So from a Muslim man's perspective, you know, it would be Muhammad, peace farming, as well as Jesus as well as all the other prophets. Whereas if the man was a Christian,
he doesn't really recognize Muhammad. Is that true? Or? Yeah, makes that you just mentioned that actually about why is it that a man can
marry out of his out of his religion? Yes. And then a woman can't? Well, based upon what I just said that the man usually takes this position. Yeah. If it is the case that a Muslim woman that she marries
out of the religion, and he happened to be from another faith, then the main influence over the children is the father. Yes, and Islamically. From that perspective, it is important that children are given an Islamic upbringing. And if the father has a different religion, this would cause loss of confusion. Now, what I'm saying to you now is a logical explanation, okay? which a person is free to differ and have a different opinion. That's up to them. But we do have, you know, verses from the Quran, which specifically tell us that a man is permitted to marry a Jewish woman or Christian woman, as long as they are just okay, as long as they're adhering to their religion, not just
anyone, there are conditions. And a believing woman is only permitted to marry a believing man, based on some of the things that I've just said previously, okay? A person doesn't have to like it. But this is these are Islamic teachings. Okay, we don't impose and force living here in the UK. Yes, onto people. But this is the teachings that we find in Islam. If you're a Muslim, this is what Allah tells us. And this is what we should abide by. If you don't want to follow that you want to marry as you as you want to marry, you're in a country where you're free to do that. But the point is that this is the law
What we find in the Quran? Okay, and this is how we, you know, we show our submitted servitude, and submitting to Allah subhanaw taala.
I mean, in terms of like sex before marriage, I know is in Islam as well as all the other religions, what would you say are the virtues of no sex before marriage? You know, it's
your what intimacy between two people is under the umbrella
of marriage. And it is a sacrament is, it's an agreement, it is a sacred thing, that all societies valued throughout history. And again, over the past, you know, to one or two generations, it is somehow, you know, being devalued, is not looked up in the same way that you can have, you know, children outside of marriage. And this causes lots of problems in social problems, and yes, loss of social problems, you know, responsibilities, single parent, single mothers, puts a strain on the state, you know, Father's not around no responsibility towards their children, there's a big problems, and their children that they're facing, that has an impact domino effect on the society,
they don't have the father in their lives, then, you know, they may go astray. So having a relationship with them must be, you know, under the umbrella under the agreement of marriage, and this is one way of protecting the society.
So this idea from lowering your gaze, this is something I find it very difficult.
What is the concept behind that anyway, you know, following on from the point that you just mentioned about, you know, marriage protects society, we're also required both men and women, you know, to lower their gaze, because, you know, the eyes are, reflect to an opening to the heart. And, you know, when you're affected in your heart, it can have an influence on, on your decisions, and ultimately, how you feel. So we respect other people, it might be somebody's wife, for example, that'd be maybe walking down the street, it is not right for me as a Muslim, to be staring at her. And then bringing about some form of lust within my heart towards that person, who is in fact, the
wife of another person. So we tried to at all times, Islam tries to encourage us to, to control our desires to control our feelings, and in all issues, in things which are permitted for us, and those things which are not permitted for us. So Islam is nurturing us, Allah wants us to be a certain character, to be a certain person, to be respectful to others, to respect ourselves, to try and have control of those lowly desires that may come in to us. If you don't have control over those things, then, you know, you might as well just be like, excuse the example we like the animals, they just do as they like, whenever they like, you know, but Allah gave us minds gave us
a superiority over animals, but we tried to have control over these feelings. So lowering our gaze is one way that we can display having control over our emotions.
Everything starts with a look, you know, if a person wants to start having a, you know, a relationship with somebody, which has not been, you know, not allowed in the stomach view, it always starts with a look, doesn't it. And then when he starts with a look and starts moving within the wink, and then you pass her again, and you start saying hello, and then one thing leads to the next. So everything starts with with the eye. So if you can stop that you can nip that in the bud,
then you'll find that you won't find in you won't fall into many of these kinds of problems which go against the teachings of Islam.
Okay, so what about education for women in Islam? I mean, is that the same as men, they were allowed to study? Yeah, education is very important for both men and women. And there's nothing in Islam that says, you know, education is for men, and not for women. If there are certain practices that around the world where, you know, women have been prevented from being educated, then this is certainly not from Islam.
It is encouraged for both men and women to be educated Islamically you know, Islamic education, you know, studying the Quran, for example, studying Sunni Islamic sciences, but also studying worldly sciences, worldly knowledges, for example, whether it's, you know, somebody wants to go into computing, somebody wants to study medicine, you know, both men and women have the right to study that and they shouldn't be prevented from doing that. So education is a very, very important
principle in Islam, and from the first universities that were established in modern civilization, in Iraq, in Baghdad. These were for both men and women, you know, age being educated in Islamic lands in Spain, you know, universities for men and women. So it is from Islamic teachings that both men and women have access to education
And nobody should be prevented from you know, studying.
So I take it, there is no job that I'm a woman I'm not allowed to do in Islam, then they can do any job that wishes. Well, it's you know, similarly there are jobs which are more suitable for women, as there are more jobs in a certain jobs which are maybe more suitable for men, you know, things were, or jobs like,
row one woman would feel more comfortable in front of another woman, okay, then, you know, you know, nursing, some medical procedures, or certain certain medical services that are given that sometimes a woman feels more comfortable with a woman, if I mentioned, you know, Gynecology, for example, a woman would feel more comfortable, I would assume, with a woman as opposed to a man, okay. So
if a woman or a man decides that they want to take up a job, first and foremost, it must be something that they enjoy, okay? And they can benefit that they can fulfill their dreams if you'd like. And at the same time, that they can benefit other people. You know, sometimes I hear stories of people going to university choosing courses, which, really that they're not convinced with. And then after a year or two, they change their mind, you know, do something which, you know, you're convinced with that you can benefit yourself and you can benefit others. And there's a famous statement of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him that the best people are those who can benefit
others, you know, so we should always remind ourselves that I do something which
kill two birds with one stone, but I am happy. And at the same time, I can make other people happy as well. This should be a general criteria for everybody. We just go back to the low end of gays. Now, if I'm speaking to a woman doesn't mean I cannot look at her in her eyes. See, yeah.
When a man is conversing with a woman, or a woman conversing with a man, it's only natural sometimes that your vision may look up to acknowledge that person and then you to look down again. Okay, so if this is followed, then that's okay. But on the other hand, it's not as though you want to stop staring into their eyes. And then you start thinking, well, they're very beautiful eyes. And then you see how long their eyelashes are?
She's got lovely hazel eyes, or is it brown? So I've been noticing a person going like this up and down, is acceptable. On the other hand, you don't want to be looking down that may come across quite rude. Yes, you know. So there's a balance in that. And always you find within an Islamic sphere, there's always a balance is always a good understanding concerning these issues. You don't come across.
So liberal that you don't have anything you don't you know, you're not following any guidelines. And in other on the other hand, you don't come across so rigid, that there's no flexibility and each of the issues, you should be aware that anything that may affect your heart in a negative way. Be aware of that. Okay, this is a kind of a guiding kind of principle for for you in these issues. Yes.
We're just a couple of minutes away now. Okay, so I hope you enjoy your time at Trafalgar Square.
You never know we may meet again. Yes.
Thank you drive us very light lighting. Yes.
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