Waleed Basyouni – Signs You Are In An Abusive Relationship Fiqh Of Love

Waleed Basyouni
AI: Summary © The speaker describes a situation where a woman is controlling a man who is a good man, but she is also controlling. The woman is angry at the man and is afraid of him. The speaker describes the woman as a woman who is controlling and is causing chaos.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:00 --> 00:00:13

When you married to someone who have this problem, okay disrespecting an hour associate with this is basically a controlling behavior. Somebody is so controlling,

00:00:14 --> 00:00:41

unbelievable level of control, he can justify she can justify that with jealousy, whatever the one I care for you I love you that's not that's not love does not jealous, that's called controlling freak. He or she, you know, and that basically lead to what to abuse and bully and if you if you fall into the grip of someone like that it's very hard to get out.

00:00:42 --> 00:00:43

I'm like

00:00:45 --> 00:00:49

I know sister married a guy for about eight years.

00:00:51 --> 00:00:52

Okay, this real estate?

00:00:54 --> 00:00:55

She said, Sure.

00:00:56 --> 00:00:58

I have red tapes in my apartment.

00:01:00 --> 00:01:04

I said, What do you mean? I thought she talking about the red tapes like

00:01:06 --> 00:01:15

them? intangible. What kind of red tapes like you know, rules His she's had Nunna an actual threat tapes.

00:01:17 --> 00:01:27

I said, What do you mean? She said, you see the window. That is like four feet away from the window or three feet away and he have a red tape. I'm not allowed to cross that day.

00:01:30 --> 00:01:36

I'm not allowed to come closer to the window, or to the party. Red tape. Almost. He's the one who allowed me to cross.

00:01:40 --> 00:01:40

At work.

00:01:42 --> 00:01:49

They didn't. She said I saw the sign. I saw how controlling he is. But I never thought it will reach that level.

00:01:50 --> 00:01:52

And I was the one who divorce her from him.

00:01:53 --> 00:01:55

And he was so angry at me.

00:01:57 --> 00:01:59

He actually threatened my life

00:02:04 --> 00:02:05


00:02:06 --> 00:02:12

So it is really scary had nothing to do with religion. Controlling this is a character trait.

00:02:14 --> 00:02:30

And that's why it is so beautiful how the prophets of salaam said mentor alone Adina who will yoga. He did not say you only pleased with his Deen, but also hold up manner character trait because you might be a religious person, but you're a monster.

00:02:31 --> 00:02:33

You might be a good Muslim, but you're stingy.

00:02:35 --> 00:02:43

You might be a good million people who pray and do a lot of good things. But you know what? You are a terrible communicator.

00:02:46 --> 00:02:52

So there's so many other things besides the legend. That's why the person put these two together the character trait of the person

00:02:54 --> 00:02:55

you have to look at it.

00:02:58 --> 00:02:58

You know,

00:02:59 --> 00:03:05

I know also another system, just the controlling behavior issue.

00:03:06 --> 00:03:11

Yeah. For example, not allowed to have phone not allowed.

00:03:12 --> 00:03:25

As a brother, and these examples, not from people like people like born in the West, this guy born and raised in England DNO and lived in America.

00:03:26 --> 00:03:31

His wife not allowed to eat with him. She wait until he finishes food.

00:03:32 --> 00:03:34

I don't know about people in modern date.

00:03:37 --> 00:03:49

I said and what I asked myself, What would make personal live like that? She said chef, and he admitted in front of me. He said yes. When I sit in the couch to sit on the floor.

00:03:52 --> 00:03:53


00:03:55 --> 00:03:59

And he sat down. Why? He said to short a spec.

00:04:00 --> 00:04:01

When he married her she was arrogant.

00:04:05 --> 00:04:06

I want to break her spirit.

00:04:08 --> 00:04:30

You know what the question that I know, I don't want to scare you. But I want to tell you that this is serious. I'm tired of dealing with cases like this. And these are not random cases. These aren't Yes, it's not like I get a case like this every day. But there are large a number enough to tell you that this is a problem that does exist.

00:04:32 --> 00:04:43

And it can manifest itself in many different ways. Maybe give you the most extreme stories I saw. But it is I asked myself what would lead a sister or a brother to be in a situation like this

00:04:49 --> 00:04:50

a brother was suffering with

00:04:51 --> 00:04:59

any his wife controlling behavior. She controls so much. What are you going who are you? What are you

00:05:00 --> 00:05:07

You know, I need to know where it's your destination. You know what I need to see a location and your phone.

00:05:09 --> 00:05:10

Why are you talking to this person?

00:05:12 --> 00:05:16

You know a camera everywhere. That's not That's not love.

00:05:17 --> 00:05:26

That's a controlling problem. You have this. And the problem I asked all these people, they said we saw the sign before married.

00:05:27 --> 00:05:33

He said CIF, we know what is my breaking point one time. I was in that Walmart.

00:05:34 --> 00:05:42

And he said the girl the cashier, she said, Okay, this is your chain, and I reach my hand. She was next to me.

00:05:43 --> 00:05:46

And she just gave me the money.

00:05:47 --> 00:05:58

Oh my god. She came and she slapped her hand on my bed and have coins on the money we're all over the place. Now come and kiss him to pick his number

00:06:01 --> 00:06:10

should excuse me. He I know the scandal this looks on and you why wouldn't you flirt with it? I said I'm not I'm taking the money floor to walk.

00:06:12 --> 00:06:14

Next time you don't ever talk to her?

00:06:16 --> 00:06:17

Yes, ma'am.

00:06:18 --> 00:06:21

But he said one home ship and you call me

00:06:22 --> 00:06:25

and he said sure. I'm done. I can't live like that.

00:06:26 --> 00:06:27

But it took him two years to be there.

00:06:30 --> 00:06:37

But to put two years to the I guess he's well done. By the time the starting done. You know?

00:06:39 --> 00:06:50

I might laugh but inside you know, there is a sane Arabic was shuttle or dead emailed. The worst of matters is what makes you laugh. Not laugh because it's a laughable matter. It's because it's so sad.

00:06:52 --> 00:06:55

Sometimes when things are so painful, you just smile

Share Page

Related Episodes