Treatment of Women in Islam
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Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din
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Within a 111 or so that was Salam O Allah Rasool Allah wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa Manuela. First of all my dear sisters as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah cattle, this is a pleasure to see you all here Hamdulillah, we ask Allah azza wa jal to, you know, increase us in a new award inshallah for lawyers gathering the knowledge subpanel it's one of the most precious things that we can gain in this time.
As you know, as Muslim sisters, we're constantly fit that narrative through the media and through, you know, generally, especially orientalist, have always, you know, tried to feed us that narrative of the Muslim woman being oppressed in Islam. And obviously, over time, when we keep constantly hear this message given to us, especially in the media, you can start to believe it after a while. And especially for those sisters who don't have a great deal of knowledge about Islam. It can be it can really, you know, it can raise up to shake them after a while have an effect. And if you're a little bit weakened your Eman as well, obviously is gonna have an effect. And especially in particular, for
those sisters who haven't experienced the true beauty of Islam in the way they should, they should have experienced it, when they've been treated in a bad way, by, especially in particular, like you know, a husband or a father, you know, obviously, that's going to have a very huge impact on a woman. And if she hasn't seen the example of Islam, then you can't expect not to believe the narrative that she's hearing in the media, you can easily start to believe in.
Alright, so we need to realize that when we know that we know that I'm sure we've all had friends, or I've known of sisters,
that they've gone through this, this this type of experience. And when a woman is oppressed in her rights, it does cause her to have serious doubts about Islam, in a lot of cases.
Especially the worst thing is when those men have used his lamb, to try to as part of that, as part of that oppression, you know, like they make them feel guilty, like the men, they sometimes will use a yet from the Quran or Hadith to make the woman feel guilty. And they use it as a type of weapon against women to protect us.
Now, as we know, one of the main reasons why many Western women embraced Islam like myself, was due to how much we found Islam honors women, and how much is then came to protect the rights of women. So that's why it for me, I find it really tragic that, you know, so many sisters end up experiencing the opposite of that, you know, you've read all about it, you think what a beautiful religion you're into. And then you find out that, you know, you get treated in the opposite way. It's a real tragedy.
So that's why it's very important for us to take to talk about this topic.
Because what I want to say is, let's just say it now, that is that Islam does not oppress women, but rather, it's the men who've liberated themselves from Islam. That's what it comes down to.
So just one thing, before we get into this, like, we need to understand that, when we're talking about is the descemet rulings that the Sharia is like a jigsaw puzzle, you could look at it like a jigsaw puzzle, that all the pieces fit perfectly together. And just like you have, you know, ecosystems in this world that all work, when it's when everything's in order, it all works, you know, imperfections, same with the shadow, but when someone starts to exaggerate certain things in the shadow, that's where we get an imbalance. And that's what's happening to us today. Where we have people not, you know, not fulfilling certain aspects of shunyata and over emphasizing on other
aspects of *tier. And this is why we're having an imbalance in our lives.
Um, but I want it what I want to talk about today is just have a look at something else we can do because what what does orientalist and those with an agenda against Islam tend to do is they tend to over emphasize on certain aspects of Islam, to make it look really like as if Islam oppresses women. But I want to show you for another, I want to show you from another perspective, that if we were to also argue in another direction, we could we could even come to argue that, in many cases is them's not fitting into, you know, if we wanted to, if we wanted to take that argument. So I'm gonna give you some of the some of the things in Islam that actually shows favor towards women. Right. So for
example, you all know, obviously, you know, that, you know, it's them made being good to one's mother, greater than being good to one's father. That's one thing we all we're all aware of that and we hear it all the time. And also the fact that it's there made the reward for paradise to found at the feet of one's mother. So that if we wanted to, we could say that, you know, Subhan Allah Islam has, you know,
you know, look how it's them has favored women, especially when it comes to mothers over men in this
way.
And we also know that Islam made it compulsory on the husband to spend on his wife, even if she's the richest woman in the world, it's still compulsory upon him to spend on her. And even that alone that said, Even she was a new unit, it's still his duty, it doesn't remove him from his duty to spend on her and provide for her, that's, that's his duty, you know, whether it comes to her housing, her food, her clothing, all of that is a is the burden that's placed on a man's shoulders, it's his financial responsibility.
And even if you come to the wedding, look at the wedding, it's the man's responsibilities, the husband's responsibility, and he's, you know, to pay for the wedding, even when it comes down to the wedding dress. Like if and if you want to compare that, like, it's important for us to compare to, because we just look at that, that you're not comparing to other cultures go to other cultures, but other societies, they all expect the woman in her family to, you know, to pay for the wedding.
Even Danny, what to consider.
Okay, so
and then you've got the Maha, okay, he's supposed to pay for, he's supposed to give her the bridal gift, that's supposed to be her property that he gives her. Whereas if you find it other societies, like I know, in the Indian culture, for example, they want the bride's family to give them cars, they want the bride's family to give them gifts, and all of these things that's completely against Islam, but that's what they do. Like that's, that's their culture, that the bride is the one that has to give their family, you know, the money and all of these things. So that's the opposite to Islam. All right.
So besides the financial support that he's required, with his, his wife, if he has relatives that are poor, that also falls in his responsibility. Right. So if he has, for example, a sister who is you know, unmarried, and she's got no one to support her, that would fall on his shoulders, you know, if his father passed away, and if his foster father passed away, for example, in his mother's left with sisters or something like that, that would be his responsibility. So we have to realize that his Lamb has placed the financial burden on the shoulders of men. Okay, so this is how we could say, like, you know, and, and, and ultimately, it is the man's responsibility to get up and go to
work every single day. That's his responsibility. You know, and it's not an easy responsibility, actually. And sometimes we don't appreciate what they do for us. But it's not easy to do that. And that's, that's, that's, that is a word Jeep on him, whereas for us, that's something like, if you would, you know, it's an optional thing, it's not something you have to do, but we sometimes places extra burdens on us off, right? So
I'm just showing you that you could say that, look, you know, Sam has put all this stress and pressure on men in a lot of ways, right. And then when we come to talking about custody, custody law, okay, so, and then the scholars are agreed in general that the mother has the most right to,
you know, to the custody of, of the children, providing she doesn't remarry. So, the custody laws are very much more in favor, if you look at like incidents, which happened when women came to the Prophet sort of long way to set him, you know, the prophets that although I said would, would prefer the women over the men when giving, when it came to custody,
and, and then if we look at the demands, that is then cases on the men know, like, in in acts of worship, there's a lot more demands placed on men, when it comes to acts of worship. Like for example, we know that it's compulsory for men to pray a Juma on Fridays, like they're not supposed to miss that. But besides that, a lot of people are not aware of how much it's actually required for men to pray their prayers in the masjid. That's something lacking in today's society, but go back to it, you know, in a Muslim society. Like
if it's a very highly emphasized if not wedgie, because we look at what the prophet said along with us and said about those men who didn't attend the compulsory five prayers. He said, I was about to go and burn the houses down of those who don't come for the sadaqa Jamal, he wasn't talking about Juma prayer, he was talking about the congregational prayers. So it showed how strongly emphasized so you know, they would come to the prayer, even if they were blind, they would be coming to the prayer. You know, so it's where is that has been been relieved from women because Allah, Allah designed, you know, when he gave us the *ty art, he designed it in a way that's perfect for the
lifestyle of a man and perfect for the lifestyle of a woman if you just try it, like I know when I went to, for example, into aamra.
And of course, you know, you want to go to Harlem every time. But you know, I'm telling you like, the first day it was fun, but the second day, I'm like, you know,
Five times a day, get all dressed up, to get ready to go to pray, you know what I mean? It's an effort. It's an effort, you know what I mean? And you know yourself like this be honest, the stamina is not the same. You know what I mean? And you get tired like when you go to your house a lot, you get so tired, you come back, it's like, oh my god, you know, it's a nice panelists level tile ever relieved that that's fun. The Rama have a lot of us, you know, he's Mercy on us that he knows that that will be hard on us to expect us to go out of our house five times a day, and pray Our prayers in the masjid. And besides that, then when it comes to responsibilities of the Ummah, like, a lot,
how to place a great burden on the shoulders of men, like when it comes to, for example, if there's a battle, it's, you know, that's where the men are required to fulfill those responsibilities. You know, in any academic community, they have got far more responsibilities on their shoulders to uphold the Muslim community, those things where that's not asked from women like these things. Like it could be,
you know, if she wants to do that, but there's no, there's no, like, there's no binding burden on her to do these things.
And then, besides that, you know, you do have to look at the, you know, for example, a man is never relieved from his prayer, a man is never relieved from his prayer no matter what, okay, even in a battle, a man's not relieved from his prayer. So there's a lot more burdens placed on men in the shadows. And if you go through the film, you'll see how a little dull actually lightened women in so many cases like due to our situations, if there's a lot of lightening, like, you know, for example, woman who has led to harder for example, irregular bleeding, you'll see how the profits that have allowed her to combine her prayers if that was too hard for her to constantly go make wasn't for
example, you know, there's a lot of lighting in the city are for women taking into consideration their their life.
Besides this idea, sisters, also, there's a lot of rewards that's been mentioned in relation to women that you don't find it in relation to men.
So for example, if you look at the reward for raising to two girls, in Islam, like you don't find a hadith that mentions about raising two boys, but there's a hadith that mentions about raising two girls that whoever you know, raises two girls, and treats them well will be with me in general like this. And in fact, there's even a hadith that talks about being good to one sisters, that if someone was so good to their sisters, until they, you know, that they love to be in their company, again, they'll be like this agenda with them. So you know, there's all these emphasis on being good with your female relatives.
And we don't find the same emphasis placed on is there's not those heads mentioned with regards to really urging you to be so you know, to have this great treatment with with with boys.
Even when it comes to one's maternal aunts, there's even a hadith that talks about the maternal aunts that she's on the same level as one's mother. So the maternal aren't like the mother, sister, she's like the mother in Islam.
So, what we can find desistance, the more you go into studying the shediac, with the more you go, studying, you know, you go into the rulings of the *ty AI and the rulings of them, you see how in reality, there is no religion, that or system, that kid, you know, that cared for women and protected women, and has came to honor women in the way that Islam came to honor and protect and care for women's kind of law.
And in Islam, just to understand the framework of Islam, you know, Islam in Islam, the woman is considered so treasured and precious, that a man is not even allowed to touch her hand and it is married to her, that's, that's how Allah Allahu Allah has protected us in so many ways. You know, you see what happens, you see that you see the consequences of going against this when, when men, you know, get whatever they want from a woman, he's got no obligation on him to marry her. There's no obligation on, you know, to have any responsibility towards her, he just enjoys whatever he wants from her with no responsibilities attached. Whereas this lamb protected woman and told men that, you
know, he can't even touch her hand unless he's married to her, he can't be alone with her. And this is married to her and that the you know, being alone a man or woman together is like the 30s like the shaitan with them, because obviously, you know, it's like, as it should have been, Timmy has said, you know, it's like putting fire and wood together. You know, you can't, you can't put firewood together.
So
it's not allowed in Islam to degrade a wind by taking her as a girlfriend. So either he honors her with marriage, or he should have nothing to do with her at all. He goes to you know, he wants to have something to do with her. He goes to her when he he goes through the front door. There's no backdoor business in Islam. So and this is unlike what we see happening. Like I said, today as society has degenerated like women think they've got more rights, but if you look at it in so many ways, women
have lost so many rights. Like there's no honor for women. As you know, there's no honor, there's no protection for me and like, women are just getting like men get whatever they want out of women with no responsibility attached, that's when we can look at it like that. And that's how that's how I looked at it when I, you know, was looking at them from before and coming into it. I was I was looking at society. And, you know, I remember hearing this neighbor upstairs for me, I heard her crying like she's living with him. And she was crying, you know, she was why can't you marry me? And he doesn't want to marry her. You know, he's living with her, why should you? Why should you want to
get married to her and even work? You know, sometimes when, when a woman wants security, woman wants security, you know? And then these men are just, you know, living with them, and they wish to get married to them, but they don't they don't want to, but they got everything. Why should they? Why should they get married to them? You know, this is what happens panela.
Now, if we look at the, if we look at the life of the prophets, that our loved one was sent, and we see how much he emphasized, taking care of women, you know, throughout, you know what I say about the prophets that are love on them, he was revolutionary, when it came to the rights of women, he really was a revolutionary, when it came to taking care of the rights of women. You know, throughout his life, you don't get how many times he reminded the men of his alma about taking care of women. Like we have so many general advices from the prophets that are long why he was sentenced, in particular to one's wife, like he said, haidakhan hydrocone Allah He, why not haidakhan the alley,
the alley, like the best of you is the besties family and I am the best of you to my family. So he made himself as a role model to men, that if you want to get close to a law, if you want to reach the high levels in Jannah, then you follow the example of the prophets that a lot when he was sent him in everything, not just in the way he dresses in praise, but in the way he also treats his wife and treats women
and he said it taco Lucha beneath that fear a lawyer in regards to women is supposed to be nice a Fira, I advise you to treat women well. Like there's all these different reminders we find throughout the Sunnah. And he said, and he said, what she thought she thought the region that Denise that the women are the twin hubs of men,
don't degrade them, don't look down on them. You know, it's upon a lot, a lot of data made them between halves of men. And so and then I want to talk about some specific groups. So we've got the general admonitions of the prophets that a lot what was said them in regards to urging men to take care of women in general. But then we've got this, you know, special categories, I did mention some before, of special urging men to look after these ones in particular, like, you know, look, look at what happens today with so many mothers in this world. After all they did for the day, children after all, they did all the serving all the sacrifice, they placed in a nursing home, and she's
lucky if she gets a visit once a year.
You know,
it's really sad, Jackie, for an old lady, you know, in a hospital next to you and you ask her, don't you have anyone or I had a son, but I don't know where he is. Sometimes you find this old lady, she just passed away in a house, no one, no one knew. No one knew lunch, and you find out that she has got kids, but no one knew she passed away. She might have been there for a week or a month or something like that. It's really sad. How could we reach such a level with with with regards to women with regards to mothers, in particular their mother? And that's how we say it's then came to be the opposite of all of this, you know? And you see that? How did when one of the Sahaba came to
the Prophet sort of love what he was sending? I asked him who deserves my good treatment the most? And he said your mother? And then he said, and then who? He said your mother? And he said and then who is it your mother? And is it and then who said your father? So that's how much Islam placed emphasis on, on showing good to one's mother and we can say that your son has favored mothers over fathers in this way. It's them did baby mothers or fathers in this way. And even when a man came like he wanted to go for battle, imagine battle like that's the the peaks of Islam. You know, he wants to go to battle and he asked the prophets that a lot what he was saying about that about going
to battles such a great day before law. And so then he the prophets that are lower is an ask that man, do you have a mother? Do you still have a mother alive? And then he said yes. He said why don't you go back and honor her. But well, why don't you go back and honor her. And he told her it told him fell Zam ha stick to her stick close to her be by her side. You know she needs your company. She needs your service that's better for you. That's better for you before a lot than for you to go out and leave her by herself and you go for battle and he said that in agenda Dr. originais ha the Verily, Paradise is below her feet. If you want paradise. If you're sincerely looking for Jana,
you'll find it by serving her. You'll find it below her
See this how much is then came to stress on the panel, ah, you know, serving one's mother and never look down on that like, and you know, the thing is when someone goes for battle, for example, it's an outward date everyone sees you, and you get praised for it. But you know how hard it is to look after one's mother. It's so hard. No one sees that date. No one except Allah sees that deed. So that that's why it's such sincere deed, you don't get praised for it. Who praises you for looking after your mother, no one sees it Subhan Allah and Allah knows where you do other outward deeds, everyone sees it, they think, oh, you're such a good person. But it's really the good people Subhanallah the
best of people are often the ones the quiet workers that no one knows about. They're doing these days of class that are very difficult. Because often that mother might not treat you that well. And you've got to still, you know, you're still trying to treat her with beard, you're still trying to treat her with the best treatment, despite She's not even appreciating your efforts, some kind of loss or only Allah knows how great is their reward, even greater than if they had gone out for for battle for the sake of a loss. pantalla is he truly is a type of battle. We shouldn't underestimate these roles.
This is how we've become so warped in Islam, like a lot of men would think, Oh, it's better for me to go out, for example, for battle, or be out in the community and do all this work. But they neglected their mother, they neglected their families, you know, and they've got they've got their priorities all mixed up. And then if we look at daughters, how much Islam stressed on looking after the daughters, and how the prophets that allowed us and showed us about the good treatment of one's daughter, you know, whoever has two daughters, and treats them kindly, there'll be a protection for that person from the fire.
And the one who brought up two daughters until they attained, you know, maturity, they will, they will be resurrected with the prophets that Allah has sent him on the yamo PML. And that there'll be, you know, raise with him. And he read, he held up his two fingers sort of law while he was selling.
And it's not just that sisters, it's not just that he said, even if you look at what he said about showing kindness, and taking care of one divorced and we don't, we don't daughter.
You know, this is again, showing the emphasis that is then is placed on men caring for women, like a lot of families, you know, they don't want to take their daughter back in after she's been divorced, or she's husbands died. But you know, if husband's not looking after his, his wife, then the Father has to look after his daughter. See, it's always on the men, that burden is always placed on the men to take care of these women.
And so the prophets that Allah has said, I'm told one of the Sahaba Allah ado, Luca, Allah, Allah sada, shall I not direct you to what is the best of sadaqa? What is the best of charity?
And so he told, told, told him, you know, tell me you're a little lost and a lot when it was selling. And he told him, that your daughter comes to you after being divorced, or widowed, with no other breadwinner with no one to support her. And you spend on her, you take her in you care for her, you know, you maintain her after she had no one else to look after her.
And it's not just about family members, sisters, it's not just about family members, men in this oma are urged to pay attention to women.
Like even if it's not your mother, even if it's not your daughter, or your sister, but the men of this oma urge to take look after the women because women in Islam they are they are considered to be the more vulnerable from society. And we know we are the most vulnerable, let's not pretend we're not. Who are the ones who all most of the most of the oppressions happened to who were children. Exactly. So that's why there's such an emphasis on looking after women because if a woman's not looked after, how can she even raise her children in the first place? If we're not looking after a woman who's looking after the children,
if it winds up if no one is not happy, if she's not supported? How can she give proper care to her children? That's the next generation you know, as Panama so
so for example, we see how the profits that allamani was sent him said, the one who strives to help widows. And under this category are any women who have no one anyone who woman who's got no one to look after her no one to financially support her and she's in a destitute situation, that that person is like Khalil moja he DVC Sebelius sebelah. He is like the Mujahid you know, in the in the path of a law. He's like the majority, the one who went up for battle in a part of a law. So we have to realize that, you know, going up for battle, for the sake of for the sake of Allah is not just in a form of a battle physical battle. There's many other types of battles that its land has, has urged
men to, to, you know, to be involved with, but um, a lot of them, just want
I said you know, they just look at the heroic type of battle and they don't realize that there's so many other battles that this is this is what creates true heroes in the oma.
Okay so and that the one who looks after the widow, the one who looks after the widow and the poor and the poor as well that they are like the person who
stands in prayer. Well I yes to that they don't stop praying well Kasai me keleti let you fear that the the fasting person who doesn't break their fast
so this is the way that the prophets that a lot of it was sent and taught the men of this oma to have chivalry Have you heard of chivalry? Yes, yes, to be chivalrous. And this is something being lost. We said Oh, he lost amongst the non Muslim men in general. But now we find thing lost amongst our Muslim men. chivalry means to be like heroic, you know to look after women and take care of them and realize their responsibility in relation to to to women.
And this is we still find them handling until today, you can still find the cause of these types of ahaadeeth You can find it a lot of men that still do this so there's a lot of good men still don't think they are they still are good men who they do try to help women and especially we dies and those women who are in you know destitute situations, you know, male award, for example, nationals nationals that calf fund Foundation, you'll be aware that they are Mashallah tuberculosis in a lot of work, you know, on the ground is a lot of other organizations, I shouldn't just mention only one, but there's a lot you know, some of them were not even aware of, but they helping people on the
ground, especially sisters in destitute situations, right? So, these are some of the general statements from the prophets that are long, what has set them in relation to caring and protecting women.
But what I'm going to show you now is that the prophets that along with us and was just not just a man of words, he was a man of action. And he used to walk the talk. That's the problem. Now we have a lot of people reminiscing about how Islam treats women, and talking about how Adrian is shot and reminiscing on the past. But we need to see the action in the future like when is the action now when it is the action in the prison? It's no good. Women don't want to hear about how nice is them treats women and how, how is them you know, all these stories of the past, we just see that now we need to see this is what I think women want they need to get to see that in reality with the way
that women are being treated today. So let's have a look at how some examples from the zero of the prophets that allamani was sent them in how you can see how he genuinely cared and cherished women it wasn't just talking about it, but even in his day to day life. You can see how he genuinely genuinely cared and cherished women and that's why the Allahu Allah says in the Quran lapada can Allah comfy rasulillah he was sweating hacer una that Verily, you have in the Prophet said a lot what it was said on the best of examples.
Okay, so we talk about let's talk first of all about the way he has to deal with his wives in action.
Now as you know, the prophets that a lot what you're saying married Khadija radi Allahu on unhurt when when he was 25 years of age, and she was about 40 years old. And he stayed married to her for 25 years.
Until she passed away and he never married any other woman while she was alive.
And he was completely devoted to her right up to the very end to the level that He even went down into her grave and placed her in her grave sort of lower than him with his two hands.
And we see how much he cherished his wife and in how much he never stopped speaking about her. You know, she's so devoted such a devoted husband to his wife sort of love when he was sent him to the level that I should said that I didn't feel jealous of any of the wives of the prophets that alarm was sent him like I felt jealous of Khadija Why do you love her and her and how much he would would mention her those treasured, treasured memories. So this is how I should felt. And she wasn't even alive. But it was because of how much you know, he would never stop praising her, you know, his heart was so attached to Khadija because of the caliber of who he was, and what she had, you know,
all that she had done for him what she represented to him when she was alive. And you know, that famous quote that he would always say, you know, she believed in me when all the people just believed in me. You know, she supported me with her wealth when the people were depriving would have were depriving me so this is you know how much you know how you meant to the prophets that alarm it was sent him
But the interesting thing is that he's he's honoring her didn't end with her passing away. His honoring of her didn't end with with her passing away like, you know, the beautiful thing is that so many times he would give give
Even to her friends after she passed away imagine that not just that he talked about her. But imagine that, for example, if a sheep was for example slaughtered, you know that giveaway for the good part of a way to sell the car, he would think about her friends, or take somebody to give to to this woman give this to this woman because they friends of Khadija to that level, he even honors her friends.
So this is from Sunday examples of how the prophets that are loaded said I'm showing his cherishing of his wife Khadija.
And then, as you know, after the death of the party, Giovanni Allahu Allah, the prophets of Allah, Who is and then went on to marry a number of women, and number of women, he went on to marry and all of these women, the interesting thing about all of these women, is that all of these women were either previously married, or widows, with the exception of Arusha by the Allahu anhu. And some of them as we know, had even children.
Now, if you compare this to the powerful men of this world, you'll never find that they're going to be interested in marrying older women who are like divorced and have kids and who are widowed. They're not going to go for that they're gonna go for the young, you know, the young upstarts, you know.
So if the professor a lot of them want to, you know, marry women for the mirror enjoyment, that's the Oriental it's make it the way they paint the picture, is that, you know, he married women for just mere enjoyment, or something like that. But if he wanted to do that, he wouldn't have gone and chosen the older woman that would have been previously married, the one who's got kids, everybody knows that people see them in society as a burden. If that was the case, we would have seen men running after all the divorcement right now, if they're so wanted, we wouldn't send all the men running after the divorcement. Right with the kids. Yeah, but that doesn't happen in reality, sakoda
law.
So he would have if he wanted to do that he would have gone and chosen all the young beautiful virgins, for example, right.
But we see that the main reason,
the main reason he married this woman was our seeking reward, to give them shelter, to give them comfort and protect these women, and
excuse me, sorry.
We know that a believing man, when he's really sincere with a law, he's always looking for a sense, he's always looking for the righteous deeds. So imagine how much the prophets sort of Larson was looking for the righteous deeds in whatever he does. So if you're gonna marry a wife, he wants to get the best reward for and what better reward than to marry the woman who most people don't want to marry? You know, so marry, marry, married a divorced woman marry the widowed woman marry the one we've we've had kids, the ones that people don't want to marry.
So this goes back to the merciful and kind nature of the prophets that are a long way with sin. And you see, you know, and you got to also put it in context with the, with the call of the Prophet for law, what his and his his ultimate call was to protect all the weakened society. Like he spent his whole life calling to the protection of the weak, calling to the protection of the vulnerable, whether it's the oppressed, whether it's the poor, the orphans, the elderly, the widows, all those who society forgets about that's the one who is the prophets that alarm when it was sent, and was calling for and and we can put this into today's context, if the prophets that allowed us and was he
today, he would have been calling for protection of the women what's happening to them now, and he would have been calling for the protection of refugees as well. Definitely, he would been calling for the protection of refugees, because they are these are very vulnerable categories of people.
So all those people who society forgets about and that's why it is a narration in which the prophets that are loaded and said in your head, we do have the dye Fein that verily I urge and I strongly, like I strongly warn you concerning the rights of two of the vulnerable and who are they and mana to Well, your team, the woman and the pole, okay, the woman and and the
and the orphan, the woman and the Orphan Black these these are two people that they get these are the two categories that they get neglected very easily.
So, like I said, so if we're going to know those who want to criticize the prophets, that along with them for marrying a number with a woman after Khadija we say to you, we say to them, that rather than to criticize the prophets that our Lord has, and this is something he should be praised for. It's not a criticism against him. It's something we should be proud of as Muslims. We're proud of it.
You know, for one thing that's this look at something he that despite he married so many women have so many different personalities and characters, they all had different characters. How he was different than than I shot, our issue was different than on Selma on Salama,
was different than soda, you know, I mean, they all had different personalities, right? But yet, how was it that he was able to maintain a loving and stable relationship with each and every one of them, and each and every one of them felt completely loved and cared for. And at one time, one time, he was married to nine at one time, and yet each of them feels loved and cared for. And yet we find today, you've got men who their wife is only one, and she doesn't feel loved and cared for subpoena law. So that's why it's something to be astounded, actually, with how he was able to maintain, he was able to balance his life between all of these wives, you know, in caring and, and cherishing
them, as well as all his his commitments outside the house.
And not only that, you know, when you've got a large family, that's a big burden on a man like a lot of men reminisce, and think hard, not reminisce the date date, let's say, they fantasize, wouldn't it be nice to have another wife and everything, but when they get it, when they get the other wife, they realize it's, it's really difficult, you know, how, you know, you're because they're supposed to go and
they wouldn't, they've got to, they've got to support them, they've got that, you know, ultimately, the men generally should be the one doing the outside duties. So for example, going shopping and getting the shopping for them and stuff like that. So that's two households, he now has to, you know, and we know that women we go through so many things like you give birth.
We have emotional, we have emotional times in our lives when we need the support of our husband. And, you know, so he goes to one and she's going through, you know, an emotional crisis. And then he goes the other one, like, you know, it's not all and and that's the difference, you know, like, it's, yes, there's that side where you think, okay,
it's all very nice to think you've got these two wives, but there's a, you know, is then paid responsibility with that, you know, you want those two wives, but it's then places responsibility on you on that. And what we find is that men now they just want to shirk these responsibilities not shirk, in as ensure control heat, but
they want to share these responsibilities. Like, we find that people today, they just want pick and choose what they want from Islam, that's the whole problem. And that's what a lot of them are doing. They're just picking and choosing. They want to choose the nice parts of themselves, where they don't want to take the responsibilities that go attached with that.
Okay, so when we study the life of the prophets that allow you to send, like I was saying, we see that the tenderness and the gentleness that he had for his wives, and that's what really, you know, the more you study the life of the prophets that along with them, the more you love him so much with your heart, you know, because you see that tender side that he had. And, you know, I'm sure you've all read some of these beautiful stories, or heard them about how, for example, the prophets that a lot of them would would race with his wife, for example, he do races with her, like, they would have fun times, it wasn't all just seriousness, and that's what's unfortunate, in a lot of our houses, is
all just seriousness, now there's no, like having a bit of fun mucking around, you know, there was a time where he was sitting with our fish and soda. And, you know, I don't know if you know, this, but I, she wasn't a very good cook. You know, whereas, and she used to get jealous of the other wives because they were very good at cooking. They're obviously older than you had a cook better than her, you know, and one time she made something, I should make something and she was sitting and solid as my tasting because probably she didn't think she thinks her cooking, like who want to eat that. And I just said, if you don't eat it, I'm going to put it in your face, you know, and so because she
wouldn't eat it, she she made some in her face. So then the prophets that are saying because, you know, it's this last, you know,
there's,
you're allowed to take your, your Huck.
So, you know, so then, you know, he gave some to so that she could put back in ISIS face, it's only fair, you know, you got to do that. You could, you know, and then they were laughing Nadeau laughing together because, you know, so they used to have fun times it wasn't just all seriousness like, and that's what people have to realize that you know, being religious doesn't mean you can't have fun that that's what's missing a lot of people now they took the religion of all what rules and seriousness but then it realized that this you know, you know, it's then came to also you know, to make you have a beautiful life not to have a rigid life that you know, you don't have that that love
and affection and you know, you forget about the the other components that we're supposed to be as human you know, have as human beings
and, you know, others incidents like for example, you've got an issue taking wood with the profits that a lot of them are will do, and they taking will do both at the same vessel. And she's trying to get the water before him and stuff like that, like, you know, they've, you know, mucking around. So you've got a lot of these stories, and but what you have to realize that he would sit with his wives, he would try to chew them up. You know, he would try to because why? Because he tried to bring happiness to the hearts. He would try it, because he realized that see, a lot of people don't realize this. They think that a bad that is only like prayers and fasting but then
realize that when you're trying to bring happiness to your wife's heart, or you're trying to bring happiness to your husband's heart, that's an activity bad that for you, that's an act of worship, that's something that brings you close to a lot. And he realized that he knew that getting close to Allah is not just through prayers and fasting, getting close to Allah, it's true, showing goodness to one's family, and especially showing goodness to one's wife. So that's why he would, he would purposely try to, you know,
bring happiness to them, when he's with them.
And the other thing is, you know, and and, and, and, and add on to that, as you know, is that he didn't see it below him to help out in the house as well. You're to help out, when he would enter the house, he can just sit there and wait for everyone to serve him, he would get up and he'd be involved. If he saw someone doing something, he go and try to help them with what they're doing. So he didn't say that below him sort of long while he was selling because he saw that Oh, as part of a sand. You know, what is allowed to say in the Quran, what I see no, in normal how you haber mazzini do righteousness, like righteous is is is in so many things. Everything around us with you know,
even smiling, to your sister in Islam is righteousness. So if you're really good, that consciousness of Aloha, Tyler, you're always looking for the doors of righteousness, no matter where you are, whether you're in your house, or you're outside, wherever you are, you're looking for those doors of righteousness. And this was the this was the man hedge of the prophets. That along it was. So now he's always looking for how he can, he can get closer to a lot through his whatever he's doing wherever he is. And so one of those ways is helping in the house, helping his wife, you know, helping her with things in the house. And that's why she said, You know that he would mend his own
clothes, he would you know, go milk the goats. He didn't think because he's the Prophet and the the chosen of the mother, that you know that he that those things are below him. Like, if you're a king of this earth, you would never do that. You'll be telling everybody else to do those things. You just be sitting there on your couch, and you won't move. But that was not the Prophet sallallahu sallam.
We see also how he would show
such tenderness to his wives to show his love for them, he would really try to enter love into their hearts. You know, I sure ready Allahu anhu tells us how, you know, if there was a drink, or there was some soup in a bowl? how, you know, he would always insist that she has a drink first. And even? And she would say No, well, he, you know, you know, and she would not want to, you know, drink before him. And then he'd say, No, we're lucky, you're going to drink, you know, and so he would make her drink before him. And then after she takes that drink from that bowl, or from that cup, he will go and purposely place his mouth on the same place. She placed his mouth
sort of long wanting to send him and Subhanallah you just think about that. But it's such a small thing. And that's what people don't realize, you know, people don't realize that creating love in your marriage, it doesn't need a lot of money. You don't need to go for a candlelight dinner at the most expensive restaurant, it just needs a bit of showing a bit of care, a bit of emotional support, you know, those things can make a huge thing, especially a woman, especially a woman, those small little things can mean huge things to a woman that's a lot of men don't realize that's kind of long. And even to the level, you know, when she's menstruating that that's the Level A reaches like, you
know how horrible you feel when you're menstruating like you don't you feel not like
you feel horrible when you're menstruating, right, you feel like like like kind of like maybe you feel like a reject or something, you know, you get to that level sometimes.
But we see how the prophets that along with the same would show through his actions, that even you're menstruating, I still love you, you're still as important to me when you're menstruating when you're not menstruating. You know, an example of that, like I said that I should eat from a bone while she's menstruating. And then he would purposely go and place his mouth on the same place where she took the bite from the bone. So he's showing her that just because you're menstruating doesn't mean I don't love you that they you know that you're for example, like some people might get the strange idea in their head that when they're menstruating, they're dirty or something like that. He
was showing her it's, you know, somehow lights, you understand like, you're still the same You haven't changed just because you're menstruating.
And even when time when she got home and sees you know, she's in hygiene, she was crying. She's very upset, feeling really down because she's got her menses and he said to her, why are you crying? Has your menses come to you? And she said, you know, yes, you're also law. He said, verily, this is something that Allahu taala prescribed for the daughters of Adam. So he can put her with those words to show her you know, don't feel sad. This is what a lot of distance it's from his father, you know, he wrote this for you. So don't feel sad. You're one of the daughters of Adams. And and you're normal, it's something normal for you.
So this is some of the examples. You know, as I said, and even when you know on selling dimensions how one time she got her menses, and again, she felt sick.
sensitivity. She's in the bed with the profit sort of lawyers and I'm and he you know, of course he's so pure, and she's sleeping under the covers with him. And she feels embarrassed. I've got my menses she stayed at a bed because she wants to go change herself. And then he felt the awareness that she left the bed. And so he said to her, has your menses come to you? And so she said, Yes. And so he she said, he called me. And he bought me close to him under the covers, and he snuggled up with her, you know, under the covers, and made her live with him under the same covers, you know. So, again, he's giving her that comfort, despite she's in that state.
So there's all of these different ways the messenger log was comforting his wife, she was showing that he gave them that emotional support that a woman needs. Even one time when Sophia, you know, her camel wouldn't move it just that was stubborn, and it wouldn't move and she was crying. And he came and he was wiping her tears and his hands and his clothes and his Don't cry, come on, you're trying to calm her down. And she's, the more he says, Don't cry, she's crying more and more.
On a lot. And you know, and the other thing too, is that he wasn't afraid. He wasn't afraid to show his love in front of other men like now some men they feel like like a weakness. If they if they if they're sensitive to their wives, they think of it as a weakness to be sensitive to their wife. So you have to be tough with your wife to be a man. They have strange mentalities. But we see how the prophets that allowed us to learn, for example, when he was asked about who do you love the most, who and the man was talking about men, his boys gonna talk about men, you know, about bar crawl model, you know, of man, the first one he mentioned, I shot in front of all the men, I love I shot,
he's not he's not ashamed to show his love for a woman. Right?
And then, you know, and then he's in and then who he said her father. So he doesn't even say a buck, he says her father, so he's still attaching her father to his show. Why the Allahu anhu. Keep in mind, the panels that he wasn't ashamed to, to open up his feelings, even in front of men.
So that's, that's some examples to you. And even, you know, somehow I want you to also consider these mighty sisters. Because it is that even in his final moments, who did he choose to be with in his final moments, was it the men
it was in the house of a woman, he chose to be in the house of a wind to die in a lap of a woman to die in the lap of a woman his head, you know, sort of longest sentence was, you know, in, in his in her lap, when he passed away, you know, this is how much he cherished his wives that he, he chose to die in her house on her day, with his head, sort of loaded on her chest, as he passed away, you know, and she said, even my saliva was mixed with his, because she had with the misiak for for him and and claimed his, his his teeth, sort of Lotus and just before he passed away. So, you know, he didn't choose to be with men. When he passed away, he chose to be with a woman. So all in all of
this, we see the beautiful treatment, that the prophets that are Lotus that I'm had for women and his cherishing of women.
But I want to now talk about other women, because you might say, Well, that was his wives. What about other women? You know, so have a look at how he used to treat his daughter. Look at Fatima. Why do you allow on how how he would treat her, you know, whenever she would enter the room, he would stand up for her when she would enter the room. And look at the way he would treat her. He would greet her, he would kiss her on the forehead between her eyes. But that's such a you know, that's so beautiful to be kissed on your forehead, it has a different it has a different meaning in your heart than just to be kissing her cheek. Thank you so much for it is like a kiss of honor,
isn't it, it's a kiss of honor to kiss someone on their forehead.
And he would sit with her, you know, he would spend time with her he would sit with her. He would whisper in her ear. He would share his secrets with her, like how many dads today that don't have that good relationship with their daughter. They don't have that good relationship with their daughter. This is another thing that's making a lot of girls grow up with a low self esteem because they didn't have that beautiful. They didn't have that beautiful bond with their fathers. See, subpoena law. So he did that was not the way of the Prophet salallahu Isn't he had that beautiful bond with his daughter. And he would tell a secret that would make her laugh and make her cry.
So for example, one time, he told her a secret. And she said to she started to cry. And then he taught another secret and she said to laugh.
And then the wives were asking her What did he say to you? You know why? One minute you were like, why? One minute you were crying in the next thing you were laughing It's really strange. And she said I cannot reveal the secret of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. And then after he passed away, they asked her what happened that day? Why did you suddenly you know, cry, and then you suddenly laughed. And she said, because he told me that very soon I'm going to leave this world. So I cried.
And then after that, he told her that and she happy that you'll be following me very soon after that. So she laughed, because she was very happy that soon should be joined with her beloved father sort of one when he was sent him. So this is this such a close, beautiful loving relationship between the father and his daughter subpoena law. So this is again, this is all like we said, liquid can Allah comfy rasulillah he was sweating Hashanah, that very early in the the example of the prophets that have laws and is the best example for you.
Now, you might say, Well, that was his family, that was his wife, that was, you know, his daughters, that was his family. But let me tell you that the prophets that allowed us and us to care for and and even if they meant nothing to anybody else, and I can show you some examples of that as well. For example, there was a woman who used to take care of the message of the prophets that Allah has sent me she's coming sweep it and she's to clean it up. And she's just an ordinary woman, no one pays attention to her. She's nothing special. I don't even know like, we don't even know her name. But that's, you know, power law. So.
So what happened was the Messenger of Allah notice that she's not around anymore hasn't been around for a few days. And he asked us about weapons that what happened to that lady, we haven't been seeing her. So they told him, they told him that she's passed away, she died urasawa, sort of motor center. And so he said, Why don't you tell me? Why don't you tell me he was so upset that no one told him that she passed away. And so he not only was he upset, he went to her grave site where she was buried, and he prayed with the Sahaba. He prayed the futile prayer for her next to her grave, sort of long, whatever sensor, I'm showing you that in this shows you that he cared for women, even
if she was someone that no one saw her, I saw her as important in society, but he would be he would care for those men, he would care for those women.
And women used to come to him with their problems. We know many times when women would come he never used to turn away from them, he would listen to them, he would give them his time. You know, he valued they they complaints. He gave him that, you know, he gave them their rights in listening to them and trying to solve their problems.
There's one funny story that I always like and it's the story of the old lady who came to the Prophet that the Lord has sent him to ask him something.
And you know, she asked him to make up for her to enter Jenna
and so he said to her own mother of so and so no old woman will enter Jannah No, women are going to enter gender so she was so sad You know, she walked away and she was you know, maybe crying and having tears in her eyes. Because she thought it means she can't go to jungle.
And so then the Prophet said a lot of them told told told the people to go after her and tell her that the reason is because that nobody will enter Jenna as an old woman no one wanted to join not because nobody went to Jenna as an old woman in the first place because allow dollars in the Quran for john now hoonah Abba Cara Robin at rauber So allow Allah says in that and shed now we're not in share that barely we have created companions for them have a special creation in other words alone Tara is gonna recreate the woman into into a young she's going to be recreated young and beautiful. And you know renewed no more menstruation no more pains no more depression no more sadness. You
know, it's kind of like she's renewed no need for Botox. No need for not that we should. But you know, no need for all of these things to try to make yourself feel young you will be that's what everyone every woman wants to look young. But a lot of us that's your reward in Jannah that Allah tala is going to recreate you and you're going to be so beautiful so Hannah law and in Jana so in and shirt now Hannah in shirt app for john now who about john now one avocado, that will make them young again, like there'll be like virgin again, not renewed. And, and pure. Oregon at raw, like loving and equal in ha husband's subpoena law. So we know that everybody went to Jenna. And they'll
be 33 which is like the peak of a person's use, because you're you've completely reached maturity and you're strong. And you haven't started going through the decline of Ah, you know, um, but the point is, like that he would, you know, have those, you know, he was, you know, he had those nice interactions with women and he would, you know, sometimes joke with him this was a joke, you know, he wasn't telling he wasn't telling something false because the Messenger of Allah never told something false. But you know, he would you know, sometimes he playful with people.
Anyway, but the point is that, you know, countless people would come to him, he would listen to all of their problems.
You know, he would comfort them and and solve their problems solve the problems of women. And like I said, he said in your head, Rijo haka by Fein and more or two, well, he had seen that barely I have, I have particularly warned you concerning looking at the rights of two of the vulnerable of society, and they are the woman, and orphans.
And we have to remember, too, that the prophets that alarm when it was sent, was sent, when women were seen have little or no value. You know, when the prophets that are lower, the same was said was when women was seen of little or no value, you know, you find that now protect us, women were very, like, when someone would have a female child, their faces would would would, would become depressed because they've been given a female child and to the level that some of them ever take doesn't even go and, and very date they females alive. And we see in many countries today, this has not stopped. places like China, places like India, it's still going on today. And this is not Muslim, this is non
Muslims, but you know, they still put that value on males over females. And until today, like, we see that there's selective also, um, selective what birth control where you've got some of them going, and they find out that they're having a female child, they're getting, they're getting abortions, because they want to avoid having a female child. So you know, saying, Oh, this is from Jehovah. And we have to realize true sisters that putting females down is from Jehovah. So there is men who tried to put women down. In any sense, it's all from Jehovah. Allahu taala censured men, for, for degrading women in any way. Right? So ihsahn, came to lift and raise the level of women,
and take them out of that oppression and take them out of that Jackie Leo.
And Islam came to give honor to women, and give them dignity and protect them and protect their rights. And we see how the prophets that our Lord has said, I'm taught, the men of this on my house had a sense within how to have a sense women in general, not just today, wives, not just to their daughters, to their mothers, but to women in general, that our men of our community need to step up. And I need to be being particularly concerned about the affairs of women, we need to start solving the problems about women. And because women are becoming like, there's too many sad stories happening to our women today. And like I said, if we're not looking after our women, then that means
that those women cannot take proper care of our next generation as well. Besides, you know, besides the fact that the men, as I said before, is then to teachers and to have jewelry. So we need to say that chivalry back in action, it's not us talking about the beautiful stories, the past of how is them, you know, one Salif sent an army to go save a woman, we don't want to hear those stories, we want to say that happening in action. Now we want to see our men stepping up and helping our women and being there and, you know, taking care about women, because when when, when women start to see that in action, again, that's going to kind of bring back the belief to women that Islam does stand
up for the rights of women, isn't it? It's not used hearing the theory we need to see in practice, that's what we're gonna start to believe, yes, you need to have a bed, even if it had bad experience with their husband, or they had a bad experience with a father or something like that. But if other men in the community step up and show that they are standing by those women and supporting them, that's going to renew their belief that you know, yes, and hamdulillah Islam did come to protect women because I do feel how is then came to protect my rights. Okay, so, like I said in the beginning, what we're seeing today, what we're seeing today of the oppression of women, the
degradation of women, all of these things, it's all due to widespread weak Eman. It's all due to widespread wiki man, the lack of quiet in the hearts the lack of taqwa, the lack of fear of Allah in the hearts. And this is why in you know, in so many hyenas we're seeing the return of practices, practices of Jackie Leah, you know, trying to degrade women, put her down, use Heidi's against her, all of these things, you know, and oppressing women in multiple in a multitude of ways, not getting her financial rights. You know, we see spiritual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse. So Panama This is all a sign of the times like the prophets that allowed us and told us that from the sign of
times, will be a man who will be lost which is the trust the trust because women are in a manner women are in a manner the vulnerable in society are in a manner they're in a manner like their responsibility and they are a trust. You know that the men of the oma they have they have to they are entrusted with looking after them. If you've got no one else to look after, then then falls on the shoulders of the the men of the oma to look after them. So this is why we need to come back to the guidance of the prophets that alarm why they were selling if we want
to, you know, get you know if we if we want to solve the problems about Omar, we need to always come back to the guidance of the prophets that are lost and because in that is where we will find the solutions for all of our problems. Like I said in the beginning that but kennela comfy Rasulullah he was sweatin hasta netone Lehman Cana yo de la while Yeoman ophira was a Corolla hachimura that Verily, the prophets that allowed SLM for you is the best of examples for those of you who they have hope in Allah and the next life and I remember a lot much so I asked a lot abraca Allah, to bring us all back to the path of the prophets that allowed us enemy in all of our actions, whether it's in
our outward actions, and our aura inward actions, outside our homes and inside our homes in dealing with each other. And I asked them all to Roberta, Allah to bring back the men hedge of the prophets that allowed us that I'm in looking after women and taking care of the vulnerable of society because this is when that's what's going to truly return the faith of women back into Islam through that inshallah well all he had was totally welcome was panic a lot more will be handy Ganesha Allah, Allah, Allah and stop fluka motobu like channel so if you've got any questions and show off, what did you say around a minute will be lost.
In general and Amana will be lost. It's one of the signs of yamaki ama that MLM manner, people will just not look after and men alike, you can hardly find trust anymore. You can hardly find honest people. You know, there's so many there's so much corruption. People don't if you give someone to something like Emma, Emma is many things, okay? So it could be being trustworthy in your business, like we find so many people cheat when it comes to businesses, like they pray in the mosque. But then outside when it comes to dealing with their businesses, they cheat. You know, they rip, they rip their Muslim brothers and sisters off. You know. And then and then in general, like you give
someone something as a trust, they don't look after it. And trusts are in different forms, like so for us as women, our trust is our household. That UK affair a household looking after our children. For men, it's looking after their wife, looking after their their family got to trust a lot of men. I'm not I'm not fulfilling this trust. You know, they're not looking after their their wife, they're not looking after their children properly. That's all a trust in his neck. You know how many of them they get divorced, that I pay anything that I pay anything to the children, that's his trust, like, whether he is divorced from his wife or not? That child is his child and to one of them passes away.
He is fully responsible for that child support that child. But we find many of them in betraying these trusts. This is all a sign of Yokoyama that's steady. So far, when you see all these sad stories, you're gonna realize this is a sign of anarchy, I'm always saying, that's what it comes down to. It all comes down to the lack of taqwa in the hearts because no man who had true taqwa in his heart could ever do that to his wife or do that to his children that well, that's what it comes down to. I don't care about his physical appearance of how religious he might seem outwardly, if he doesn't know how to deal with his wife in the house. And he doesn't know how to do with his children
in the house, then that's not true taqwa. That's why the Messenger of Allah said a taco have hoonah. And he pointed towards the chest, the true taco is in the heart. You know, you can't pretend to have duck walk. It's the same with us too. Even as women as well. It works both ways. There's no point trying to act so nice and beautiful outside the house and you're not good with your children. You're not good with your husband at home. Same thing. But that's what's happening in the hands is night taqwa. And that's where we have all these problems happening. We can't just demand our rights as women to like, we have to also make sure we're fulfilling our responsibilities as well. Like we
can't just be saying, Oh, I'm not getting my rights from my husband. He's not doing this for me is not doing that for me. Are we also are we also we're fulfilling our responsibilities too. So it works both ways.
But But the problem is it's too much tit for tat. One says Oh, she's not giving me my rights. I'm not gonna give her rights and it's going like that, and that's why we you know, marriage is escalating out of control.