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When Life Breaks You

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Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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With all these COVID situation, mental health has become such a big topic. And you know, statistics are showing that, you know, there are more mental health issues arising and I thought, what a great are on here and we are here to talk about these foreign Islamic perspective, especially as we represent the messaging and we and our followers are Muslim, you know, and we always take a loss of power.

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Are you ready for some questions? Yama, let's go.

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Okay, so, inshallah Um, so what first question is, what does Islam say about or talk about mental health or mental illness mental health, what does it say? Hasn't been mentioned. And yet to any your perspective and show, okay, yellow Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah wala le he will, he will Manuela. So I just want to also, before I begin, it's important to clarify that I'm not a mental health professional, okay. But what I do like to do, is like connect people to mental health professionals, because I do find that in general, in the Muslim community, and this happens in other communities, true.

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Religious leaders tend to be people's first point of contact, you know, people will tend to turn to their religious leaders first. Rather than they don't actually a lot of people aren't even aware of psychologists or they don't know where to get help, you know, so I what I try to do is connect people to where they can get their help in Sharla. And that's why I do believe that religious leaders actually play a very important role in the community. And, you know, going to going to, you know,

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to talk about the question you're asked, you have to realize this panel already, you know, Islam is a religion of balance, there's no religion that, that that, you know, teaches about balance like Islam, you know, balancing yourself spiritually, physically, and, and mentally. And, you know, you can just see from one example, when one of the Sahaba was over exerting himself, you know, any better and you see how the prophet SAW a lot when he was Sam told him you know, in early Jessa, de collega hapa that you know, verily your, your body has a right over you were in early I, Nika la California Your eyes are right over you and your wife has a right over you You know in another

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generation you know in a nasty car like a hot boy like you're so has a right over you. So, um, just from this one Heidi's, we can see that, you know, like, yeah, Dana is a very important thing. Obviously, in Islam, you're focusing on your deen, but you also need time to he also needs to focus on your mental health. And you need to realize that sapan Allah, I'm telling you that if you're not in a good place with your mental health, he will start to impact on your spiritual spirituality, he can very easily start to impact you know, on your spiritual, you know, on you, you're feeling like you have something low, you don't really feel like you want to pray because you're affected by

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issues that are going on in your mental health. Right? And so that's why you have to realize that, you know, if you've got past traumas, or you're going through particularly particularly difficult circumstances right now, I mean, people in Melbourne LS pantalla relieve your hardship, you know, a lot of guys a lot of a lot of things, we don't even know what's going on people's houses, you know, but if you're going through, like the really the greater the trials you're going through the more you have to take extra special care of your mental health and realize you're you're a human being and you know, you need to look after yourself very well in those be very kind to yourself when when

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you're going through really hard times.

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Definitely, definitely 100% and and sometimes, you know, I know some sisters who often about depression and Dana things like anxiety, depression and these things and and some feel like it's it's like almost like head on to feel depressed or, you know, it's something that is not in the deen to feel depressed and Muslim is never depressed and I just I just wanted to get your like Omni stamp perspective is at home to be depressed. Is it something that Muslims shouldn't be feeling or isn't isn't? Are we capable of feeling about? Is that something that's not in the deen or not spoken about in the deen? Yeah. So. So what people have to understand is that, you know, like I was saying

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before, if if you

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are not in a good state, do mental health, if you have poor mental health, if you have even a mental illness in particular, they're going to go through a lot harder. It's going to be a lot. A lot of those will go through a lot harder trials. When it comes to trying to have a healthy spiritual, you know, healthy spiritual spirituality like you found to have mental illnesses. They can really struggle with prayers and thoughts and things like that. And

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You know, everybody's great, because they have so many more trials that they have to deal with. So,

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so I just want people to understand that, you know, you have to understand that if somebody does have poor mental health, or they, you know, they have, you know, a mental illness in particular, like I said, it will, it does affect the whole outlook on life. You don't I mean, like, then you want to get out of bed in the morning, you know, and so that also ends up having an impact on their connection to a loss of contact as well. And this is exactly what I was saying before, why it's so important that we do look after our mental health, so that we can have we can we can have that, you know,

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those more deeper and meaningful, you know, you know, healthy sort of, like outlook towards Allah having hoping online, not losing hope in Allah subhanaw taala. Right. So, so that's the main thing, but of course, we should never lose hope in Allah subhanaw taala that's, that's the main thing I think people may be trying to get to, like, Netherlands hoping a lot is always hope. Like, even if you don't feel yourself, maybe you know, people, unfortunately, you know, they don't, they don't feel great self worth in themselves, right. But even if you don't feel good about yourself know that allows Rachmat is wider than anything, you know, so if you can't believe yourself, at least believe

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in Allah, that, you know, Allah is the most merciful, a lot can forgive you, you know, hope is always a lot, you know, I'm trying to say so I think that's, that's really important. But and what I would normally tell people, when I normally would tell people is that if you know, you're doing everything you can, you know, you're praying your prayers, you're doing a vicar, you know, you're trying to follow it slammed the best of your ability, like not doing major things you can think of, but you're still feeling down, you're still feeling anxious, that I would say that person, you know, reach out and get some help. You know, what I mean? Or, you know, if you know, that you're in an

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unhappy relationship, like if you're in a very unhappy marriage, or a very unhappy family environment, you know, you've suffered trauma in your childhood of some kind, you need to realize that, you know, very often, it's not actually that your event is low, but often it's like undealt, with trauma, you know, undealt, with trauma or pain that is getting in the way of your Eman.

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Okay, so if you can, if you can get to that, then you can have a much, you know, healthier relationship, you know, with a much healthier connection with a loss of contact or something that's really important to think of. And the other thing I want to mention too, is like, it's very important that we realize that a lot huhtala can test someone with, with a mental illness, just as he tests somebody with a physical illness. You know, like, let's have a look at the examples alligators. nuprime, right. If you think about a, your, for example, he was tested with a physical physical test, but

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he was tested with a mental test. And this was the deep sadness that he was tested with, right. And he was so severe that Allah tells us that it was so severe that his mental state began to affect his physical states that level that effect affected his eyesight in the end.

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All right, so this is what we have to grieve, we have to realize that you know, a person you know,

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you know, a person can be tested with, with with depression or anxiety, or any I'm talking about mental illness, just like they can be tested with, you know, a physical type of illness, upon a lot, everything is linked to your spiritual state, your mental state, your physical state, they all work together, you know, to do that you need to have the holistic kind of view of yourself, you know, if your mental

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health isn't going to be well, your spiritual health isn't going to be well. So, you know, and I always say, No, we say comfort in the stories of the prophets, you know, and, and each prophet went through so many trials and you can tell that, you know, you can learn from them and experiment, you just remind me of the story of a you that's, that was one of the most you know, the stories that he lost everything and he was paid. And, you know, in

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his they're beautiful to look upon and, and really to reflect and, and that I take off in that I don't know how everyone else does. But

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fishin and

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a big chunk of time, but I do have a few more. Another one, I think I think we've touched upon use is Pullman to help the sign of wiki man. Yeah, what's your I think we've been touched upon but if you want to add anything else on top, like I said to you, like,

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like I said, to like, you need to look at everything from all angles. You know, look at it from from all angles and and have a look at yourself and assess yourself.

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You know, be realistic about you. So have a look at yourself, like, are you going through something like really major right now but then, you know, don't, you know, don't always just blame it on

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You know, amen. You know why? Because a lot of people, like they can't sort of like,

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separate between, you know, for example, even having low self esteem, they kind of you know, they think it's lonely man, like,

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you know, it's so good about yourself and your the things you're going through and they associate that with wiki man or something like that. So you've got to, you've got to sort of like, be realistic about your situation, have a look, are you going through issues, you know, if you're going through issues, I want to take a holistic approach to it, you know, I was advised to take a holistic approach, do you do you deal with it from all angles, and we're gonna be discussing some of those things tonight, you know, about different ways we can deal with it. But um, you know, don't just don't just bet on young man and feel really even worse about yourself. So where's my man? Why can't

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I cope with all the stuff I'm going through? You know what I mean? So

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happens a lot. So.

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Yeah, definitely, definitely. Um, you said that, that leads us to the next question, which is, how do we deal with friends and family? Who do have a mental illness? And from an Islamic perspective, because we know how to, like, maybe people know how to deal with it from a non Islamic one, but how do you approach them and talk to him? And how do you support them? Or how do you deal with these things? Yeah, look, see, look,

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we have, you know, we had, we do have a few problems in the Muslim community. And I know that anyone on here who's ever suffered with any type of mental illness will know exactly what I'm talking about. But you know, there is a, we know that there is always there is usually like a bit of a stigma around, you know, mental illness in a community. And this is not just unique to the Muslim community, like it happens in other cultural communities as well, just so we do know that.

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But you know, for example, as, as I said, as many of you would know, you've ever gone through anxiety or depression. And if you try and tell people about how you're feeling, very often, you'll find, unfortunately, people might judge you, but they might say, Well, where's your you, man? Why can't you cope? You know, come on, you've got three men, what's wrong with you? say so. Um, so, you know, in general,

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the kind of, that's the kind of response you tend to get, rather than negative empathy, which is what you're really looking for. And, and then, you know, if you have to, if you have to, if you have any type of mental illness, and you need to take,

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you know, medication, for example, or you need to see psychologists, you will find people will judge you like, it's not something that you really want to put out there. In generally, animal security, it's like this kind of, like, a lot of these things are not, you know, it's like taboo topics kind of thing, you know.

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So that makes it harder for people with mental illness, or, you know, who are suffering with different mental health, it's harder for them, because, like, as some people give the example, if you if you injured yourself, if you got hurt, people would all come over, like, you know, if we ever get in an accident or something like that, right? It will be over your house cooking food for you. But you know, you're getting all that empathy from the sisters, for like, if you're going through, you know, depression or something, it's like, almost always, you're a man, you know, it's

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so sad, you know, that's what makes it worse for people that can't even feel like they can talk to anybody, because if they do, they might get judged.

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So, um, so that study is a big difference. But you can see the response that we we tend to have, unfortunately, not everybody, though, people are waking up to this now. And how do they like it's changing? It's really changing. But um, the older generation, I did find it a bit harder to, you know, I don't mean to get that

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down to one's a bit more with it a bit more work, as they say.

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Yeah, I'm pretty good at

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these topics and bringing SLI. You're the older generation.

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Yeah, more

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on Yeah. But that's, that's the thing, how do you how do you talk to the the origin or, and tell them respectfully, you know, that, you know, I'm going through something, you know, and and, like, it's, it's, it's true, it's happening, like, it's not something I'm making up. And, you know, it's not something that in society's making up and, and I'm just gonna roll with it or anything like that. It's actually true. I am, I am suffering from depression. You know, it's really hard.

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I know myself, like if I was going to go to my grandparents, they're going to like,

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shoot.

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I think the best thing to do sometimes is just understand it's sometimes hard to change the older generation, I think this could be realistic and realize Pico detail. I think just to pick who you tell your staff to, because sometimes not everybody can take it and nobody gives you the response. You want to hear and you can just make you feel worse. So just realize that some people just in that they just got there, you know, that's the way they think and they're not going to change a lot of the old

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ones, you know, it's very rare that they're going to change. So, yeah, don't don't put that put yourself in that situation that, you know.

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But you know, but getting back to what I was saying. So I think that what we need to be doing is just really showing more empathy for people when they reach out to us and they're sharing that kind of information with us, you know, just give them that empathy that you would you would do today, you heard that they hadn't, you know, they had a, you know, some sort of accident or something, you know, I'm making darts with them, you know, call call them up, ask them how you going to check up on them? And, and very importantly, I really think it's very important that you do try to connect them with who can help them. Yeah. Okay. Like, like suppiler like, you know, know, in your community who

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are your Muslim psychologists for example, you know, to mean that you can pass in a number O'Connor the sister, she's really nice. And, you know, give her a call. She's really nice. Yeah, we've got headline now Mashallah, like, you know, that new line, that machine was started by an Australian new fan,

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and handover, they started that, Mashallah amazing. And that's, you know, culturally sensitive that that line, you can you can call it up. And if you feel like you only could talk to a Muslim, but like some people, so if you feel like you can talk to a Muslim, some people only want to talk to Muslims, right? But then you've got other people who they might not want to talk to anyone, because they might feel like, if I talk to Muslims, maybe someone's gonna find out about my information. Okay, so, so what do you do in that case, look, I've given the lifeline number, you know, Lifeline number, which is I'm going to announce one, three, double 114, right, one, three, double 114. Like,

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because we thought it's completely anonymous, no one's gonna know you. You can just read, you can wait, you can ring them up at one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning, anytime. 24 hours. And you can just say whatever you want, you can swear your head off. You can, whatever you want to do, you don't have to act for anyone, you can just, you know, get it out of your chest. But you've just sometimes you just want to talk to someone. So I mean, look, use it, it's there. So true. We do some sometimes you just want to an ear, nose and ear to listen like someone just to listen to you. That sometimes is the therapy just listening, you know, and

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everyone anyone listening and anyone listening afterwards that, you know, even that person machine, we have a number a number of counselors and and psychologists who who are on call, if you want, if you need support, we need help. So to please feel free to reach out everything like this is confidential. And that's so important, I think. I think like you said, sometimes it's it's just it's a courage just to reach out. And and, yeah, Alvin hamdulillah. And look, you don't have to go anywhere anymore. You know, like, the government's got zoom now. So you can have private consultations online, you don't even have you don't even need to go see someone in person. So it's,

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there's so much to do.

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But, look, I just want to talk about some other problems I see as well. Because I mean, I obviously get a lot of people in contact with me all the time. And I'm looking now the problem is we do have we need to deal with this

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is that a lot of people, let's be honest, would rather believe that either they or their loved one has gene or magic on them, then suddenly they have a mental health issue.

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Okay, that's, that's another big problem that I see. Right? A lot of people and, you know, if I tell you that the majority of sisters who contact me, the first thing they'll ask me normally for is a number for rocky buck someone to come, you know, and read on them. Like, nobody rings me up everything, but no one contacts me and says, Can I have a number for a psychologist? You know, what I find is that, um, what I even find is when I suggest to, you know, sisters, for them to see a psychologist, you will not believe the amount of people who've never even thought to go to one.

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You know, there's a lot of there's a lot of

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trust, a lot of

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there's a lot of suspicions about psychologists as well. So that, you know, they wonder what's going to happen if I go there and dumb. People don't realize that we're actually really blessed to have a lot of Muslim psychologists now. And like a lot of sisters don't realize that even brothers and others want you to right. A lot of people don't realize that, that the Muslim psychologists we have fashion really incorporate aesthetic teachings into their therapies. Okay, so, um, you know, and so suppose when you go do you're going to talk about loss pantalla to you, they're gonna relieve you, they're not gonna, you know, it's much better in a lot of ways to go to you know, I'm also

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psychologist because you feel like they understand you, you know, I mean, rather than you might, you know, have some reservations about seeing like a non Muslim psychologist, you know, but I just want people to understand, you know, what do you what do you learn what do they teach there's so much valuable information they can or you know, knowledge they can actually teach you which people are missing out on like, you know, things like about learning about how your brain

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You know, like, that takes a look at the effect? Like, why do people got a lot of anxiety that understand how their brain works in the first place, right? They don't understand the impact that negative thoughts can have on the way that you feel, and how that can just sit you into a panic attack very easily, right? They don't understand how to, you know, change your negative thoughts, or, you know, learning even hair relax, sometimes we don't realize how overstressed we are like, they help you to really get more in touch with your body and realizing how stressed you really are and helping you you know, what are some relaxation techniques you techniques you can use? So, these

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all these people are missing out on all of this, you know, and this is science, typically batch therapies, you know, it's not some stuff they're teaching you they're actually teaching you just very basic stuff. But it's, it's so beneficial just to understand, you know, the way your brain works, because if you don't understand the way your brain works, what happens is you start panicking and thinking, Oh my God, my genome about to die, you know, I'm having a heart attack. I mean, that's what happens. But let's be honest, you know, and, and then and then the other thing is to that what happens, unfortunately, too, they tend to go to like a lot people just go to doctors, which is fine,

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because you need to get your arm you need to get your referral to go to the psychologist but not all doctors actually connect them to psychologist I find like, what happens is they just hand in the antidepressants. Alright, maybe that person doesn't need antidepressants, but like you need actually to learn long term fix, you know, therapies for how you're going to deal with this in your home like this is gonna be most likely like, if you've got a mental illness or you know, you've got poor mental health, you're far better off learning therapies to learn how in the long term how to deal with your problem, rather than just giving you that quick fix of the you know, of the

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antidepressants, right? So, I really, my I'm always connecting people actually to um, I'm always connecting them to psychologists, I'm always handing out all the names and the numbers and you know,

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they're the key like they're part of the cure of all Yeah, yeah. And Sharla Yeah, you need to you need to realize that sight like you know, there's a hadith about how Allah Allah has revealed has a cure for everything, you know, sometimes mental this mental health concern or illness is the cure is seen a psychologist and generic equipping yourself with those techniques, those methods rather than just going to Rukia because Rokia isn't Rokia is is for a certain type of theme, you know and knowing the signs and and and they're not always the signs of a rookie needing Rukia is actually probably just a sign of just seeing a psychologist or a counselor and that that you know, that falls

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to another question or, or how do you know when it is and when you do need to go see a psychologist? Okay.

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It's this is a really good question and I really want to talk about this you know, in depth inshallah like so we have to realize I'll just be honest with you that actually, um, let me say this and just understanding properly and that is I'll say to you that look is always part of the solution. And when I say that it I mean it for everything, not just for mental illnesses, or even poor mental health, even physical, even physical illnesses. We should be turning to rock Yeah, but what do I mean by Rokia? What do I mean by look here? That's the important point what I mean by looking at is you yourself resigning over yourself right? Or having one of your loved ones recite a

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view that is the best like the scholars you know, have explained to us that reciting on yourself or having your loved one recite

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over you like nobody is going to be you know, as sincerely caring for you and really feeling like how much they want you to get better. Then you either yourself or your loved one. Okay? So like another person who's not related to you, as a stranger to you, they're never going to feel the amount of sincerity and so they're not going to be due to that as Cincy as someone like yourself or your mother or your husband for example. Right so that's why in fact, um, you know, always do look your sisters but I'm talking about that for everything you know, you have a headache Dubuc? Yeah, you know, you feel sick dude. Okay, you know, we should always use it as a means like Allah tala.

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This is something that you know, the prophet SAW liners and told us that it is from the cures that we can use for everything with a physical or you know, mentor anything, right?

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But why why Okay, let me just expand quickly why wikia. Because Allahu taala told us that he sent down the Quran as a [???]bag. Like, a lot of the time he says we're known as 0 million for any membership.

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Meaning right, that we sent out the Quran as a sheep.

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Like as a healing and as a mercy to unbelievers so it's kind of like it's like a gift Allah has given us that there is healing in our laws words, okay? Because why? Because a lot with a bazooka, all of us with a bottle, cut his bark and all those words are blessing in all those words right. So therefore if you recite it over yourself when you see recite out of yourself when you seek

00:25:25--> 00:25:31

despite whether the sicknesses then it will be beneficial in Sharla. Right. So, um,

00:25:32--> 00:26:10

so, so unfortunately, I just want to mention, too that a lot of people have overcomplicated work. Yeah, yeah. And this is what this is the big problem I see happening, okay. And so they make you think that you have to have someone special do that for you? Right? Or that, you know, you have to recite all this code on and most people get intimidated, they think I don't know what that got on. So I'm going to have to go to someone else to do it for me. Right. So I'll just quickly take a bit of time just to quickly talk about this, to show you how simple it is to do hookah for yourself. Okay. So like I said before, like I said before, number one, the best person to recite over

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yourself, or recite over you eat your own self, okay? Or someone who sincerely cares for you. That's where you should go for like, so if it's your mother, you know, your mother really loves you cares for you ask your mother to do it. Like if you can't do yourself, or your husband or you know, but not a stranger. Like they're not the third that know, you understand. And this is the this is the strongest and most effective Rukia. Because, like I said before, if the person like nobody cares for you, and is more or less than see in their job for you, then either yourself and someone who really loves you and cares for you. Okay, and like we have to understand it the most and see the.is, the

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more likely it is to be answered. Right? That's the first thing so as to how simple is that? You don't have to go anywhere. You don't have to pay any money. Nothing, right. Number two are the most the most effective series? What are they? Guess what they are the last three stories of the grind. But one

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last sort of follow up uncertainness? Like handle?

00:27:14--> 00:27:15

Unless it comes on you.

00:27:20--> 00:27:26

Yeah, before you go stick? Yeah. I'm telling you that we're gonna, like we're going to be traveling and I have tests, but

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then he didn't make the queue. So do you think that you have to go digging for it, you know, make it

00:27:35--> 00:28:14

out of reach? So it's so simple, but the last three years of the grind, even sort of 32 to 30? Half? And I could see even, right? It's not something over complicated, like bathing suits. ducted, the most effective sewers are the ones every Muslim knows. Okay, and then what do you have to do? I'll just explain that to you quickly. So with the last three cerius, recite each one of them three times in your hands, right? So you know, recite the class, Google had recite it three times, then blowing your hands then why, you know, whenever you can, but what if you can reach everybody, you don't have to vote like don't do, like, awesome.

00:28:17--> 00:28:37

You can have it and then and then Resize to a flat three times and do the same thing and student ness and the feet and do that. And but the most important thing, okay, I just want to add something here. So the most important thing is that when you're doing that, okay, you need to put in your heart, the real feeling of sincerity, but you're really really asking ALLAH,

00:28:39--> 00:29:18

you're really asking ALLAH, that by his words, he's gonna cure you. Alright, you need to have that in your heart. It's very, very important. You know, in your heart, you're really asking a lot on your law q&a with these words, these are your words, your law, you know, to me, we do these words, right? And then also, make your heart feel like complete trust, you know that Allahu taala is the one who is a Shafi. He's the one who confer your, your his, his hearing you he's responding to you get a stand and feel that safety through that safety, that you're in the care of a law. Yeah, you're in the care of a lot of Allah. Allah is the one at all periods in his hand, no one else can cure you

00:29:18--> 00:29:21

like Allah. Right? This is what you have to.

00:29:22--> 00:29:50

This is what you have to, you know, having your heart If you want the book to be very strong and powerful and Shama like, of course, by the permission of Allah, Allah so. So that's why sisters or brothers, whoever is on here, you know, it's not actually recommended to actually to go to a marquee. It's not actually recommended to go to someone else and seek out someone else to read on you. And like I was saying before, I really feel that this topic is something that a lot of people are exaggerating about. Assign my

00:29:51--> 00:29:54

it's just everywhere, everywhere, on

00:29:55--> 00:29:59

on things, I guess, over populated with Tolkien.

00:30:00--> 00:30:01

And then

00:30:02--> 00:30:17

it could be a Nina and sometimes, um, you know, you don't know what's right or what's wrong, what to do and something so your what your advice is so simple and something that you should be doing, like you said every day just to protect yourself from the evils of the dunya. And you know, and

00:30:19--> 00:30:52

honestly alone, you this thing, unfortunately, people are doing but very vulnerable right now. And I don't think it's fair to pay, I don't think it's fair to serve making poor people's vulnerabilities. Because people are feeling anxiety, and they're feeling a lot of other things. And unfortunately, like I said before, because the stigma of mental illness and mental mental health now in our community, a lot of people will not be thinking, oh, I've got anxiety problem, or I've got something you know, my mental health is not in a really good state, the first thing they're going to think is, oh, I've got jam. But see here, just this is the first thing that everybody thinks of is in our

00:30:52--> 00:31:28

community. You know, what I made the first go to No, and but what why it's not recommended is when I mentioned to why so recommended to actually go to a party or go or seek out someone is because what happens is, you end up reducing your tawakkol in a law, right, you actually end up reducing your tobacco in a lot. Why? Because you start thinking that, but you know, you need to have that person recite on you, you think that there's something special about them, that they're reciting over you is better than your own reciting. And so that is actually coming in between you and having that direct connection with the loss account Allah.

00:31:29--> 00:32:05

Just so actually what this call is saying is the less the less intervention Do you have between you and a law in during the Rokia the most stronger and more effective that okay, is? When do you recommend? Like, who are we to go to Rukia? When when do you recommend when he is actually like that's the last resort like that you have to go to do you know what I would do? My personal my personal opinion, what I would do, I would read on myself, I would have my family reading on me, I would go to see a psychologist, I would you know, and I'm talking with psychologists, not just unexperienced psychologists not like like someone who just started working like one year ago. I

00:32:05--> 00:32:18

mean, somebody's been working it for 20 years, it's a keeps the people why I do everything and go and if that psychologist said, Look, I don't know what to do with you. But there's something not it's not normal. I've ever seen some of these in my profession, then I'll go

00:32:19--> 00:32:54

to Rocky, but that would not be my first that would not be my first place to go. Cuz they're not even experienced. I'm sorry, let's be honest, they're not experienced in mental health whatsoever, you know, how can they tell whether you've got, you know, you understand, like, Look, sisters, if you've ever had anxiety, if anyone who's ever had anxiety, anxiety will will present itself exactly like is if you've got the gene, and you even use such imagine you've got the G con, okay. And then and see on all that just makes your anxiety worse, because you think oh, my God got the genome possessed. And so then your anxiety gets even worse. So you're not getting the help you need. And

00:32:54--> 00:33:01

then when it when it's fed, like as in when other people start to kind of make your your thoughts real as in like, maybe you do have,

00:33:02--> 00:33:29

you know, so headway, maybe you do have June. So you definitely do have to see, it's sometimes it's got the right to tell you that, Oh, you've got sick or you've got gene not like nobody's got the right to tell you that. And, again, why are they telling you look, you know, I think you should go try out on seeing a psychologist, you've probably got, you know, maybe you've got anxiety, like, no one says that, like I said that just straight away, go to the easy, like, Look, sisters, that's the honest or bothers, you know, generally people like that to me, you know, like,

00:33:30--> 00:34:08

it got something wrong with their son, or, you know, there has been like even even even fights in the house, they might think, Oh, it's a secret. I you know, what, straightaway, instead of thinking, Well, wait a minute, maybe we made some marriage counseling here. Or, you know, what, maybe my son's got a behavioral just, you know, behavioral problem, or, you know, some people are escaping from their real problems and just putting it straight on the gene. And that, you know, is not going to solve your problems like that, but it probably is not going to go away. Look at the results. Yes. Sometimes times you find that, for people, it's, it's easier to say that it's sad. And it's it's gin

00:34:08--> 00:34:52

or it's something like that, then it is a mental health. And sometimes it's like saying, like actually managing a mental health, it's probably probably much easier than actually managing a gin or having something and having been possessed, you know, and I always say, Isn't it better to think that you have anxiety and stress or these China see a psychologist to manage that, than to think that you have something possessed in you and I would say for myself, I'd be much more kind of not comfortable, but much more like, you know, because you know how to manage these, you're given the tools, while the other one is you're dependent on someone else, drive. And also you're giving the

00:34:52--> 00:34:59

gym too much power because the gym cannot hurt anyone except the law accepted by the permission of a law so you're giving them far too much.

00:35:00--> 00:35:09

They're actually happy with that ID that you give them so much power to think they could do that. Because really, they, you know, their powers reduced to whispers that see your face, you really,

00:35:10--> 00:35:49

you know, you really, you know, in generally exaggerated a lot like, Look, we're not saying that Jim position cannot happen, right. But it's, I would say it's extremely rare in comparison to the amount of people who think they punch in right now. Yeah, extremely rare, like extremely rare to understand. Like, it's not something that happens every single day, and you know, what's going on? So I like looking at this to statistics in Australia of anxiety and depression, I'd be more inclined to believe that that's the problem first, before I start thinking that someone's got the genome, you know, yeah. Okay. So that's everyone to really think about that. inshallah. I have one big, big

00:35:49--> 00:35:57

topic, I'm sorry, I have to bring it, that's fine. No problem at all. So pile up, I think a very neglected topic in our community, and

00:35:58--> 00:36:05

to our attention, just recently, is the effect of mental health on young people in particular.

00:36:07--> 00:36:12

Especially on issues like suicide on issues of self harm.

00:36:14--> 00:36:31

wondering, what is the Simon perspective? And, and, you know, how we manage these and and if we do have children who are feeling like this? How do we approach them? How do we manage that? How do we, you know, keep them, keep them with the dean, and it's just his thought opinion will be much.

00:36:32--> 00:36:34

Preach, I will try my best.

00:36:35--> 00:37:15

So May Allah make, you know, open my words to say the truth and john, the right thing, be there? But look, I think the most there's a couple of points I would I want to mention, and, and I know you you agree with me, sr, Ohio, and that is, we do need to stop pretending that suicide doesn't happen in the Muslim community. All right. It definitely can and does happen in the Muslim community, just as it happens in any other community. And the other thing is, we do need to stop the judgement of families to who experienced suicide, right? Like, there's a lot of hidden factors in people's lives that we're not aware of, like, Look, drug addiction, I'm telling has really grown in the Muslim

00:37:15--> 00:37:39

community, okay, and mental illness is there. And anyone who's who's had to struggle with any child, or you know, anyone in your family who's got mental illness, will know that there's not enough support, like, despite her in Australia, which is a very blessed country, I have to say, there's not enough support, like, there's just, it's just very difficult for those families. You know, they go through so much, there's so much stress. And you know,

00:37:40--> 00:37:47

and so penalised, like, like, I just want to say, like, it's very important that, if this has happened to someone, you know,

00:37:48--> 00:38:22

we really need to leave this situation to a law to judge that person, you know, if this, if this is what's happened, we need to leave, you know, leave it to a loss of pantalla. Because let's just base it on what we do know, like that person, we knew that they were Muslim, right? So we need to, you know, we need to have hope, you know, that you show up in alert, that at some stage, they're going to be forgiven by Allah subhanaw taala, right, this is this should be our default. Okay. So they don't need to hear our judgment, or, you know, I'm passing some sort of, like, speaking about the, you know, the topic, already the family are,

00:38:24--> 00:38:30

you know, suffering enough from from all that they've had to go through with, with probably, you know, try to

00:38:31--> 00:38:34

keep that person in a good state, you understand.

00:38:36--> 00:39:02

And the other thing is to that, it's also It could also be that that person was suffering from some sort of severe mental illness as well, that maybe when that happened, that they weren't even in a state of accountability as well, that's also a possibility as well. So right. But I just think it's really sad that, you know, families have to already deal with that trauma of you know, losing a loved one. And then on top of that, they always have to deal with the judgment of the of the community. I think that's not fair. You know, like, um,

00:39:03--> 00:39:05

but going back to what you're asking for, about,

00:39:07--> 00:39:16

you know, never, you know, never dismiss it, you know, you're asking about what happened to you know, if you have a child talked about, um, you know, so So bring up this topic with you. So like that.

00:39:18--> 00:39:23

Yeah, all we can stress all we can stress with, with with all of us on here is, you know,

00:39:24--> 00:39:57

like, never, never, ever dismiss someone speaking about suicide or wanting to end their life. You know, never like don't even if they just passed a comment, and you thought they weren't being serious, you know, ask them about that. What did you mean by that? You know what I mean? And give them a number like I mentioned that Lifeline, maybe you can, I know you can talk that in your comments there. But like Lifeline number one, three double 114. You know, let them reach out and speak to someone, like speak to a professional who you know, can help them in that state.

00:39:58--> 00:40:00

Just show that you care.

00:40:00--> 00:40:37

I think that's really important. Like, if they've, if they've opened up to you to say something like that, it means that they were actually a voice that was actually looking for for looking like maybe it's a like a, like a lost Lifeline that they're trying to throw out hoping that maybe someone might save them. But, you know, a lot of people, unfortunately, they just ignore it, they think that it couldn't have been serious, you know, and unfortunately, there has been cases where people just dismiss that, and unfortunately, something you know, and then and then when it can actually eventually, you know, look as Muslims. Number one, we are the ones who a lot told us about the one

00:40:37--> 00:41:18

who saves a life woman, I hear her again and, again, NASA gymea, right. So we should have a way, the way we would, as a Muslim, if you saw someone drowning in the beach. Yeah, your instinct as a Muslim is to go and save that person, right? Same thing, if you find his sister, his brother is drowning, you can feel what they just mentioned something to you, and you felt like wait, I mean, what do they mean by that, you know, think of yourself that that's a person on the beach, putting their hands up, and they want to be saved. And maybe you're the only one who the last resort that they're, you know, they're trying to, you know, so um, and I just put on that is that, if you can't, if you don't have

00:41:18--> 00:41:57

the skills, or if you don't know what to do, or you just not, like, if someone mentions that to you, and you don't know how to react, you can always you know, seek support from psychologists or a counselor and they can give you a, you know, to some techniques, and because they might just open up to you and not open up to the psychologist or the counselor. So you may have to just help them in a way that you can, and then eventually, you know, you can be the one that that you know, holds their hand to see a psychologist or, you know, to see a counselor or to see someone that is more professional in this department. So it's, it's so important. And I think, I think it's, it's a

00:41:57--> 00:42:09

matter of kind of, like you said, just showing that you care, and that you're giving them that space and time and that what they're dealing with is real. And that you you're fully here, you're fully there, you're fully

00:42:10--> 00:42:31

concentrated, and you're giving them your attention. Sometimes Yeah, I think that happens, sometimes we've done parents and that they they don't, they may not kind of believe or they don't want to accept or maybe they're just so busy in casino, you know, Muslim, Muslim parents have million kids. And so you

00:42:33--> 00:42:37

you know, yeah, it's such a serious topic. And

00:42:38--> 00:43:07

so this is the thing like, like I said, I mean, I think we should all carry around the lifeline number with us, you know, like I said, one, three, double 114. So memorize it, because just give it to them and say, oh, call this number, you can call them up. If you're feeling like you can't cope at two o'clock in the morning, you can call them you don't have to feel like you're, you're imposing on anybody. And you can say whatever you want, no one's gonna judge you. No one knows who you are, you can just blab off whatever you want to say, you know, and just get off your chest.

00:43:08--> 00:43:23

But yeah, I do think it's just really important just to show you there for them, you know, that you care, like sometimes just having someone you know, to feel like, there's someone that goes, who cares about me that you are important to us? You know, you're our sister, your brother, you're important to us, you know what I mean?

00:43:25--> 00:44:01

And I just think to that, like, it's also safety to that, obviously, in saying all that, you know, you wouldn't want to pass judgment, like say, Oh, where's your email? what we were talking about before, that would be the last thing you'd want to be, you know, saying that someone if someone shared something like that with you, you know, like, Look, let's be honest, what Muslim doesn't know what your services about that particular topic? You know, what, what what Muslim doesn't know about it? Right? And we have to realize that Panama is actually a huge wisdom and Rama, okay, in the fact that you know, it, you know, does it there's actually a huge wisdom and Rushmore behind, you know,

00:44:01--> 00:44:40

behind, you know, why, you know, the warnings about suicide in particular, are very slim, you know, and I can share with you myself that, you know, I've come across people personally, who, you know, have actually told me that if it wasn't for them said about this, about suicide, that most likely they would have gone ahead with it. You know, what I mean? So you realize that yes, it's a B bus apology, how that actually helps a lot of people not to go ahead. Yeah, no, there's actually a big rock mat in that, right. So, um, like I said, you know, if anyone ever does open up to you and mentions anything about like Indian life, or, you know, millermatic does suicide.

00:44:41--> 00:44:59

Please realize that that's like a voice, you know, crying out for help. That's what it basically isn't. Think about what the prophet SAW, like Sam told us about, you know, how the empathy you know, for others and, you know, try to remove the hardships of someone who's in you know, despair, you know, well, lo fi, only out maybe

00:45:00--> 00:45:17

kind of goofy oni, Effie, you know, Allahu taala is supporting a person, as long as they're supporting their brother or sister in a slam, you know, so we have to always be there. That's what that's what our region is all about, you know, supporting each other backing each other up. Right? Um,

00:45:18--> 00:45:21

and one more thing I think's important on that topic, too. And that is that

00:45:23--> 00:46:01

we do need to change our mindset towards someone taking medications, you know, like if their psychologist, psychiatrist or psychologist has told them that they have to take those medications, right? Look, we have to be realistic, you know, what would you prefer? You don't I mean, it. Even if you're even if your loved one has to go on medicine, their whole life, that's far better. And less Trump, you know, less tragic than if they if you, you know, if you were to lose them, right, isn't it? And of course, so this we have to say to ourselves, and you know, just before we, you know, finish talking about that topic, too. I should have mentioned that. It would be great if you can get

00:46:01--> 00:46:02

on Have you heard of

00:46:03--> 00:46:39

educate Australia? Brother? Brother toric? Yes, they run a couple of workshops here in Ballard. Yeah, yeah. Because they actually specialize more on this topic. So thinking cuz, look, one of the things could having different people talk on these topics is See, if you were to just to say, Oh, we've got some mental health mental health professionals coming on tonight, I guarantee you that the majority of the audience, were people interested in mental health. But like, when you have religious speakers talking about this stuff, you find you get a different audience coming in, they might there might be people who wouldn't only turn up to the talk on the mental health talk, he understands, I

00:46:39--> 00:46:44

think that's why it's important that lots of people talk about these issues under the law hamdulillah.

00:46:45--> 00:46:47

Bucky said such an important topic.

00:46:48--> 00:47:10

by mentioning these just putting, you know, putting it out there that the that we are speaking about it, that these issues are common and these issues are we're not immune to them. I think sometimes Muslims feel like we're immune to this type of behavior immune to this type of, you know, thing because we're Muslim, but we're still you know, you know,

00:47:11--> 00:47:24

though, you know, you're gonna we're gonna sin, we're gonna, you know, fall into depression, we're gonna fall into, you know, anxiety, and these things are not immune to those and we're humans, but they were still humans. Let's try.

00:47:26--> 00:47:41

No, thank you so much for for speaking about these topics, and really appreciate it. hamdulillah I'm just seeing if I have any more questions on here, I think I mentioned them all. Our last question.

00:47:42--> 00:47:58

What does that mean? We've kind of touched on under the law. But so what a kind of like a wrap, wrap, wrap this whole talk up is what to employ in many mental health, like order things that we have in xiety, we have

00:47:59--> 00:48:04

depression, meaning from Islamic perspective, okay, we might be taking medications or anything like that.

00:48:06--> 00:48:12

What should we be doing to, you know, keep our, you know, our faith and our lost parents, Allah or to, you know,

00:48:14--> 00:48:53

decency and these things? Yeah, I mean, we have to say that differently. 100% and everybody out there, I know who's ever gone through anxiety, depression will know this as well. But when you start to implement, you know, the teachings that, you know, we've been taught in our religion, you know, prayers, and Vicar, and Dwyer and all these things, everyone always tells me that I've met lots of, you know, people who've had all kinds of mental health issues, and they all tell me the same thing, that it really improves everything for them, and he might not go 100% away, but it definitely improves so many things, right? Because we've got so much, there's so much hope in our religion and,

00:48:54--> 00:49:06

and Subhanallah like, you know, and actually, it's been shown, there's been studies done to show that, um, well, there's one study under the saying that, you know, actually, it's a bit Wilson's work from the happiest of people, you know, and I'm not surprised.

00:49:09--> 00:49:24

You know, when if they're happy, it's, I mean, even just content not necessarily always happy, but like, you know, you've got that contentment, right. But look, we've also got the community aspect as well, which is really big. Those two things like having, you know, because we have meaning, like, Can we have meaning for our,

00:49:25--> 00:49:59

for our pain is always meaning, like, we know that there's an asset or that, you know, I was going to reward us for every child, we go through this life, like nothing's wasted with the law, like, whatever you go through, it's, you know, it's panelized it's either you're going to get forgiveness of sins or you're going to be raised in your in your rank in john Nitin Sharma, you know, so, so there's so much you know, hamdulillah Um, there's always meaning to what we go through, it's not for nothing, you know, and then you've got your community around you and Surely you've got your sisters and brothers and, and family or whatever you've got that you've got, you know, you've got that

00:49:59--> 00:49:59

connection. So

00:50:00--> 00:50:34

Being connected with the committee is very important if we never leave the community, like, I know that you can have problems in the community, like back, when I would say to people, the community on like, those people we had problems with, or not the whole community, you know, you can always find someone else in the community who's not like them, you know, but don't completely the community, because that really helps you. It really does improve mental health, having, you know, being that community, but let's talk about, you know, just some of the habits. So like, nope, the thing is, we don't tend to utilize these enough, like, we don't utilize them in a way that like, really wants us

00:50:34--> 00:50:46

to what we're supposed to be getting out of it. That's the problem, right? So it sounds simplistic, but the problem is that we utilize it the way we're supposed to. So for example, if you're talking about like the five prayers, yeah.

00:50:47--> 00:50:53

Like, some people feel like their life is in a mess. All right, they feel like their life's in a mess. But if you can fix up your five pairs,

00:50:55--> 00:51:28

that's what helps you feel like your life is in order, that's number one, that already puts you in a good state. Because, you know, you feel like there's some sort of routine in your life, even if you're just leaving, even if you just sit down that is living between each prayer, but you know, you're reading between each five, right. But the other thing is to know, I'm learning to slow down, you know, learning to simply slow down and try to just enjoy your prey. You know, Antonia Hart to Allah subhanaw taala in your prayers, if you can see him, you know, feel your need for a lot in your prayer, right?

00:51:29--> 00:52:05

Like, you think about careers, like they are really what gives you pause, like, what do they talk about these days, you know, you need pauses in your life, you know, we're going through such a crazy, busy, stressful life, and what what Prince actually provide for you is like that pause, right? And that gives you that momentary relief, from all the struggles, everything outside, you leave it behind, say a lot, my father leaving all my problems and struggles behind, and I'm just stepping in this space with Allah subhanaw taala, you know, understanding, you just know, we allow for those for those moments, right. So that's, that's one thing, you know, try to really get into a

00:52:05--> 00:52:07

space with a lot in your prayer.

00:52:08--> 00:52:43

And then number two, you know, the kind of thinking about because, you know, what is mindfulness, mindfulness these days, right? What is the good, you know, it's remembering a loss of pounds, Allah, it's placing that pause in your life, you're seeing that you're reflecting, you're remembering a law and you're, you know, you're thinking about a lot of creations while you're doing because of a loss of pantalla. And it's slowing you down, and it's making you focus on something. So you're focusing away from your problems, you're focusing towards a lot and, you know, praising a lot and thanking a lot and you understand, so this, this, this has a great effect on you, and it helps you feel more

00:52:43--> 00:52:45

calm and more relieved. And

00:52:47--> 00:52:50

what else you know, learning to pull your problems down into,

00:52:51--> 00:53:34

like you will not be you'd be amazed how therapeutic it is. If you've got all these pain, emotions in your heart, right? Imagine you have all these pains and emotions in your heart, and they just pour it out to a lot in your job. writes, you're releasing all that in your in your drawer, and I always think about Yahoo. But you know, he was going through so much pain, and he says in a school bus, he was Neela you know, I complain in my burdens and my sorrow to Allah like he's so sad. He's like, so low, so sad, you know? And he just pours out those emotions to Allah like, and you don't realize how their cutie daddies Yes. You know, toga, even Toba, you know, repenting and you know,

00:53:34--> 00:53:46

release that guilt like maybe your problem is guilt or negative emotions, like you know, stuff for the last bottle I just, you know, ask them all you know, you know, repent or law you know,

00:53:48--> 00:54:15

so you know, all of these things if you look at everything that we've got any slam in a nutshell basically it's all about you know, healing Isn't it like it's about getting rid of all those that toxic emotions in ourselves and you know, and bringing in the you know, the good emotions from feeling close to a loss of feeling His forgiveness, feeling you know, that you've got a love with you know, alone all those seems right? Lucky We are so lucky. humbler?

00:54:16--> 00:54:17

Mashallah. Yeah.

00:54:19--> 00:54:34

It's good to be putting up about it's really good. Yeah, I mean, Dr. Lucy verwey. Like, I often refer people when they contact me from Yeah, I know that there's money to eat as well. Like so one open open Yeah. Biologists Yeah.

00:54:35--> 00:54:59

Please feel free to reach out to me and Kristen misdeed, you know, and we're happy to refer us and connect us to any any psychologists, counselors, you know, social workers, really Alhamdulillah we have such a great community here. If it's not Preston, you know, you know, you have in each in each southern suburbs here in Melbourne and Hello. We have

00:55:00--> 00:55:20

In a community groups are all working together and we're always here for our brothers and sisters and like he said like building blocks you know we support each other and that's how that's how you know as Muslims we should be in hamdulillah and like I said, Look, there's always going to be black shapes in the community you know there's always like a family you know, you're always gonna have you know, because

00:55:21--> 00:55:22

it says

00:55:24--> 00:55:25

that's what makes life interesting.

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So I just want to say to Zack Lawson so much thank you so so much for coming on coming on here and speaking about this topic and such an important topic and so many lessons learned and I myself learned something and and it's such a blessing always to hear from you and hamdulillah May Allah increase you in your your you know your your and your knowledge and keep you keep you said fast and keep us all steadfast and learn Armenian

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Malay would you for inviting me and my hospital tala to relieve the pain and the grief of everyone here who you know has that in their hearts you know, may Allah relieve your heart and I Moscow love to feel your heart with you know peace and Sakina and you know and the love for LA know that there's always hope and you know, para la you know, just know that when you go to john nine Shama everything all these struggles will all be worth it inshallah be the next