Channel: Umm Jamaal ud-Din
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Come along to the NSA for inviting me to speak in shows.
And also this open letter to all of you for making the effort to come out on a Tuesday night, from your homes, your busy schedules.
Okay, so in response to
this question, does Islam oppress women? There's three main points that I'd like to address tonight.
how Islam in many cases, shows failure to women or the men.
And secondly, what caused me many sisters in particular, to have doubts around this particular topic. And then lastly, how each of us can personally play
a role in helping our sisters regain their confidence in Islam in sha Allah.
Okay, so when we think about the city,
one of the things that we need to understand is that it could be like a jigsaw puzzle where all the pieces fit perfectly together.
But what the orientalist and the media and all those who have an agenda have always tried to do is they, they pick out certain pieces of the media, and they try to use them to prove that a slam oppresses women.
But this isn't, the reality is if we were to look at things from a different angle,
we would say that, in fact, there are many teachings that actually favor women over men within the academic framework. And if we wanted to even begin to argue that, you know, if there is a victim to men, if we wanted to, I'm gonna just go quickly through some things, you know, some of the rulings that demonstrate this. So for example, a lot of you are aware of this, but I'm going to refresh your memories on it. So for example, the financial burden that's placed on me
is then as we know, by compulsory on my husband to spend on his wife, even if she was the richest woman in the world. And he's responsible for paying for me, and all the relates to housing, food and clothing. And in fact, this caller says that he was an m&a he's still responsible to spend on her and she's not responsible to pay for anything. And even with the winning unlock the customer in most
western countries or even in Eastern religions and poaches your mind that they expect the wife and their family to pay for everything concerning the wedding. Whereas any slam, we know that it's, it's all the responsibility of the husband to pay off all this even including, you know, her wedding dress or right down to the wedding dress. And not only that, as we know, he has to give her a mark, which is like the the bottle gift, which is usually a certain amount of money. And as we know, a lot of families do have a lot of pressure on me in regards to how much money they demand. All right, besides financially supporting his wife, there are many other financial burdens that there should be
actually cases on males. That's not expected from a female. For example, if I may have, you know, close relatives who are poor and I don't have anyone to support them, for example, like his mother or his sisters, or even an Ltd Baba, the burden of providing for the rescue will fall squarely on his shoulders. Also, in cases they're criminal offenses, where a red team might have caused, you know, serious
bodily harm or even say to someone that virgin or compensation to the victim, or his family is also upon the memory teams of the offender. Women are never asked to come up with this compensation.
Moving on to custody, our custody ruling
Solas already agreed that in general, the mother has the most right, you know, to have custody, she's given in most cases preference over the Father. The only minor exception here is if she remarried.
And even if we come to the Jimmy Kimmel,
we see that throughout the senate floor expectations are placed on me are greater than those placed on women. And you know, consistently as you move through the rulings, you'll say, hell, the rulings are so often likened to women. There's many, you know, exceptions made former gyms.
And, you know, an example movies, for example, there is that expectation placed on men sort of pioneered by Facebook.
In the messaging to pride job, credit product fair, well, that's not something, you know, when she asked for women due to her circumstances, but that would be, you know, casting an undue burden on a woman to have the balance between all she has to do is my home and family, and then expect her to go out, you know, all over again to go pro.
Now, there's many other examples I could give you, in a way winning a license or considering the circumstances for women. So women, you know, life has been taken into consideration.
Now, besides this up to studies, this should be our we'll also see how exam has played far more responsibilities on many levels in general, with regards to protecting and upholding the field, the discerning community, and such requirements have not been, you know, expected from women.
If we also move on to the different various your headaches, you can see over there, again, the emphasis on the way that, you know, the emphasis on taking care of females and women in a way that has never been mentioned. Concerning males, like, for example, we all know that I had about, you know, we know that this about mothers, you know, I think we all know, revenue, and we've seen talks about how you, Sam has made her go to Paradise to be found at the feet of one's mother. And another one about how I'm the mother, your mother is far greater, then she wants father, the you know, this, the Sahabi, who came to the Prophet said a lot I said, I asked him who deserves my best treatment,
my good treatment the most, he said, your mother, your mother, your mother, your mother, and then finally the Father. So
this is how we say that a local data center has made being good to one's mother, bring it up and give her more rights over the father in this way. Now besides this, you can also find a lot of hadebe mentioned the remote example of bringing up girls, even showing people treatment, you want a system, I mean, actual bug system. And we don't want to have sex we mentioned you know, any specific reward for being sons or things like that. And just a quick example here, like who ever has two daughters or two sisters. And he's really been so well that he became, they became like friends to him, that they will be we may, in general might be like this, but like these children, but then he
sort of our, you know, his two fingers. So that's one example.
And over and over again,
gonna typically emphasize to men the need to treat women well and protect their growth. And especially even that was your wife.
Robin, most as most of you know, we could go on all night about how much
has helped you raise the status of women. And in fact, the reason so many women, women, like myself, became Muslim in the first place was due to how much we found that, you know, it's their honors and respects women. So this is why we need to be asking ourselves, what is it that so many of our sisters are having these doubts about how Islam treats women?
Now, from my humble experience, you know, the very many, you know, sisters that I've spoken to, over the years, one of the main things that I feel is fueling the doubt for many sisters. And I'm not trying to imply it's the only thing. But the fact is that many adoptees have experienced, you know, abuse in some way or another from their husband, or the grown up watching their mother go through that. And what makes their abuse 10 times more damaging, if you slam
You know, it was used to justify it, because what happens is sisters can end up believing the false narrative that they're constantly hearing about a snap, because that's what that's all they say because of it more. So yeah, you know, we can blame the media, we can blame the atheists, we can blame the feminists for why we are having these doubts. But if we're really serious about wanting to help us overcome this doubt, that we can all of us look within ourselves, to find the root causes for why this is actually happening.
And that's why we all need to start to take on more, you know, we need to start to take more responsibility towards playing a role in helping our sisters to overcome these doubts and show off and realize the very, very real danger we all face.
Because to me, it can be like a situation
If you have a leaky bucket,
you know, you can go and get as many pictures as you want about how great landscapes women, but if that's the opposite of what people are experiencing, then we face their new ways of losing a lot of our sisters. So what I want you to get tonight, another thing that we can do inshallah, to help restore up this displace any slack,
and all are planning to have all the answer T. But these are just some of the things that I believe that could go a long way to help alleviate some of the hurts that activities are experiencing.
So number one, you know, starting from the top of our community, it's so vital that our sisters feel supported by our ladies and Michelle. And I know that so many of our machines are already doing so much for us, may Allah subhanaw taala remoting, I don't want to undermine that they're amazing.
But I just want to, you know, highlight that we desperately need more validators, and Michelle, just speak out strongly and consistently to, you know, our men, especially in their product put
against a type of abuse, or even just belittling and demeaning of women in general, we need them to make it very clear that this is not normal. This is not acceptable. And this is not a slam. And this behavior is so highly destructive to our system. And in fact, in fact, destructive to the whole fabric of our Sonic community. Here, we need to realize that we're no longer living at a time, where you can find through the law in the heart, it started becoming something very rare metal protect us. And therefore one of the things we're seeing in this time that we're living in, is a lot of progress. Unfortunately, I don't want to offend anybody. So please don't take it the wrong way. But
a lot of our brothers unfortunately, we need to be having a warped sense of male empowerment. Many men now unfortunately seem to believe that they have some type of unrestricted authority to do whatever they want to the women under their care without accountability. Now, what we find is they love to, you know, they love to watch the beginning of the Iraq war. huhtala says, at region four, where Mona Lisa, men are the protectors and maintain as women, but they forget to read the end of the ayah, which says in the law, hairpin allien hubiera, that Verily, Allah is the most high and the greatest weapon and this in this in this part of the world, people are not aware, Allahu Allah is
actually warning men, as said by even cathedra Mullah, he's actually warning them. And the meaning of this book is that if men unjustly oppressed women, that a law is an ID and can be the last thing that a lot is anybody he is the protector of that woman and that he will take vengeance against the one who oppresses her and abuses her rights to kind of law. So it seems that you know, many of them in the fact that in his plan, the more work that you've been given, the more accountable you actually become.
And I also don't realize that the provision of women is actually considered to be worse in a sort of a long time than the efficient of men as terrified of as follows such such as share a bloody accordion, where he says that the wall bar for a person is for the graded level SATA supports that person. And so therefore, you know, the support that Allah gives increases, the more vulnerable a person is.
So this is one
you know, our men really need to hear it. For now leaders got to see that the true meaning of it
is to be a protector of one's wife, from the hardships and trials of this life, not for that husband, she'd been helping her number one hardship and try and get the true meaning of the piano is to be like a carer and facilitator of the affairs of one's wife and family and not to become some type of control dictator in one's house. Now, you know, we all complain about the tyrant wars we currently see everywhere in our house a mess. But what about both one we see far too many all metal ticked off right inside our own houses and harness metal
pencil rectifier fits. So we definitely need more about the shape to stand, you know, by our sisters,
especially those ones who come to them seeking help, in cases where they've been, you know, they've faced abuse. And, you know, this is something that we can't stress enough that it's one thing to have your husband abuse you in a negative sense, but to be let down by the sheriff, you know, punish a
future shoe in your moment of desperate need. That tips the feeling of being let down to a whole, a whole new level.
And, you know, we've all seen what's happened to the Catholic Church, you know, when they needed to turn a blind eye to abuse, that we saw how many people have left the Catholic Church to that is so disappointed. And, and similarly, we have to realize that, you know, if the sisters don't feel the support of our native Amma share, um, we know we do, we can face the real, you know, the real situation of sisters turning away due to this, because of how this dynamic view. So we need to realize that happiness is a figure of authority, like a chef, you know, if you have a bigger authority, like a chef stand by you in their time of need, that does make a huge difference to a
sister, who is already so shaking her butt. I know, for many sisters, I've spoken to, for example, if I've heard stories, they're really serious, really serious cases of abuse, or they've gone to, you know, particular share, and then they haven't been listened to, and they've just been basically sit back. But then it was another ship and that ship. That was that is honestly this that that was what made that actually saying he said, because when they felt so let down, it's like they were just giving up completely. You know, so that's why I'm, as I'm always just pointed out, here, they did the other day, and it's working out we need to share to start holding each other accountable. In
case your worship has been found to be repetitive sending repetitive a sentence.
And even violent marriages, if they're protecting them and giving them hope that their needs
and certainly find your systems at par with a multitude of evidences that's very concerning. So you have to ask, why are we protecting our sisters from the bull that they're facing from the oppression that they're facing? When the professor says look at Kathy, in new heavy to Hawthorne, again, teen Well, not they're barely I severely one year concerning the write up to Governor one. And he said the open and the woman?
And what does the system this is also why all of us need to play a role in changing the internal narrative that we all seem to be suffering from the community in general. But chill, you know, too often, we show far too much tolerance towards the abuse and belittling of systems. And yet we don't pay and we just speak up enough about it. Most are fantastic.
You know, promise. And you know, it's kind of just think about this, Isn't it ironic? But if we were to post something on social media, about anonymous service, 15 different settings, or in one of our sisters, you see how emotional everybody will get? I don't get so many shares. And everybody would be like, you know, um, but yeah, is it sad that when a husband was gone far worse than that to the wife, for some reason, will haven many of us will even make that sister feel guilty for wanting to leave that toxic marriage. So we have to be pushing us to why we having these different reactions.
And this leads me to think about what we can do as a community.
And one of the most important things we can do maybe finish the show off, one of the most important things we can do is stand by our sisters in their time of need. And, like I said, we need to speak up, we need to keep on speaking off about the abuse of women until it's no longer considered normal and acceptable to our boys and men. Because if everybody shut it off,
we can we can turn the tide against them. And and then y'all can have to do is we need to show a lot more care and concern, concern and support at the community for what they're going through and put an end to the guilt tripping that many sisters have to go through.
And then also, if you're thinking to start showing more support for those organizations that are service to social services, you are the ones we're actually standing by offices in times of need by giving them our money, you know, and supporting them in whatever we can. And then another thing is that you
You need to educate our sisters about their rights.
And also to help them to have higher levels of self worth. Okay, because this is not a problem of majority to come across, it is happening to that they tend to have lower levels of self worth. And so we need to develop that in our system so that they set higher standards for themselves for how they deserve to be treated. Now, last thing before I need to just when I give it a personal message to you know, any of my sisters listening to this, that if you do need help, please reach out and get support. Now, how many now community has come a long way from how it was 20 to 30 years ago, there's so much more support available now than in the past. There's so many psychologists count, you know,
Counselor, community services that you can get help from. And you know, even myself, I'm happy for anyone who wants to privately message me. And I can put you in touch with people who can help you in your life. And also, just as you know, any of you are having any particular doubts, but then I'm also more than happy for you to contact me concerning that most of you probably see my Facebook page, too, you know,
inbox me through Facebook. And in conclusion,
my dear brother, you know, in answer to the question of my talk, he still does not oppress women rather than
women in ignorance. What oppresses women use we saw Jenny, what versus women is men with narcissistic and abusive personalities, and we all need to try to work together to put it into and we might need to step up as a community and an oma and stare it out and make a plea to stop the Busey asbestos in the name of the staff. What will will probably have that was stopped but I like the weapons. panicle model comes in.