Ramadan 2023 Appeal
The Shepard S Path Are You A Leader Of Your House
Channel: Tawfique Chowdhury
File Size: 24.90MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah voila he was Sahih woman wa Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh. My brothers and sisters in slab Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, an authentic hadith that we are all leaders. He called the shepherds because truly shepherds are true leaders. They are responsible over their sheep. Whenever the sheep go grazing, wherever the sheep are, the sheep are not people that can or creatures that can defend themselves very well. They also don't tend to know what is good for them and what is not good for them. They tend to wander off, they tend to be a stray, they tend to stay together. But then when the shepherd is not awake,
then the sheep tend to go astray. And the lone sheep is eaten by the wolf as Wolf, as you all know very well. So Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam called us all shepherds responsible over our sheep responsible over the people that are under our care. Those people who are also like the sheep that will be eaten when they become a stray, the one who also wanders off not knowing what is good for them, and what is bad for them. So Rasulullah sallallahu, through this authentic hadith made us all responsible leaders, responsible over our families, responsible, responsible leaders, as fathers responsible leaders, as husbands. But if I were to ask you this important question, my friends, if I
were to ask this important question, I'm sure you would agree that you all have some picture in your mind, of, of what you want your children to become, right? You have some picture in your mind of what you want your children to become, even if it's not very clear, but you have some idea, or at least you know, what they what you don't want them to become, if you don't know what you want them to become, at least you know what you don't want, you want,
what you want them to not become, right. But the question is this, do you have a picture in your mind about what sort of father you should be all about? What sort of Mother What sort of father you should be? Or what sort of husband he should be? Do you have a picture in your mind of what an exemplary father is? And what an exemplary husband is? Because truly, this is the whole question, and and the whole topic of my talk today. How can we be exemplary husbands? And how can we be exemplary fathers, true shepherds over our sheep, true shepherds and true leaders for our families, my brothers and my sisters in Islam, truly our brothers, and our our wives, and our children have
rights upon us? And I want to quickly go through with you what are the rights of our children upon us? And what are the rights of our wives upon us so that we are on the same page? We know what is the most basic requirement upon us all? So as fathers, as fathers, our children have certain rights upon us, what are the rights of our children upon us? Number one, is that we choose good mothers for them right, so that we have chosen good wives, because this is the first right upon their right upon us. If we have actually had a child with a poor, a woman who has very, very low Eman, very low practice of Islam, that we have already fallen short in the very first write that our children have
upon us. So the first right of our children upon us is that we choose righteous wives, righteous, wise, righteous mothers, for them. The second write that they have upon us is that we financially take care of all their needs up until they become independent, and their independence does not happened at the puberty the independence happened when they have an alternative source of income. So our so they are right upon us is that we provide for them financially, all the way up until they become independent. Thirdly, they're right upon us is that we teach them Islam, Islam, we must teach them Islam. What is the proof that that is an obligation for the father to teach Islam to the to the
to the kids because of numerous evidences evidence number one was that a boy came to Rasulullah saw came to America to learn when his time and said a man brought his son and said, Oh, Holly Overleaf
Mini. Verily, my son does not listen to me. So I'm about to turn to the sun and the sunset or I mean rather myself.
Other has not given my rights to me out for one of the things that he mentioned was that my father never taught me anything about the dean, anything about the dean, how many fathers do we have here, but Allah has not taught the children a single thing about Islam. How many of us perhaps were lucky majority of the fathers are guilty of this, they may have taught this, or they may have taught that but even the smallest Sooners, you don't bother to teach your children sometimes, because we leave it to a wife to teach them. But rather it is our direct obligation, not the mother's obligation to teach them the core and not the mother's obligation to teach them about about the ease and the
celebrations and about fasting and prayer and about Allah subhanho wa Taala. And so he it is directly the father's responsibility. It is directly the father's responsibility. And how will you do this when you yourself do not have sufficient knowledge about Islam? What does that mean about you learning about Islam, and so that you can teach your children the fourth responsibility. The fourth, right that our children have upon us fathers is that we marry them off early.
And by early as a scholar as a fifth, fifth explained it, that we married them off when they have desire for women, when they have a desire for women, and I don't mean desire, just like a normal, you know, flirting with girls, no, we mean proper desire, when they actually need to be with women, and that we married them off at what age do we are we meant to marry them off. Therefore, while we are meant to we were meant to marry them off quite early than in that case, we're meant to marry them off quite early and this is an obligation upon us. And this is their right upon us by law, this is their right upon us. Then, then there is another right that they have upon us and that is that we
ourselves, the righteous and practicing, so that when we ourselves are righteous and practicing, Allah will look after that, because when we are righteous, just like when Abraham was righteous, Allen Sato salon, then Allah looked after his children, Allah looked after children, but when we are not righteous, that Allah will not look after our children. In fact, it is reported that we know that when the prophet SAW Selim, except when he became a prophet, he sent messengers right to two of the kings of the world who are the who are the kings? Does anyone remember? First to the king of Rome? The Caesar, right? And then to the Persian king, right? So do you remember how each one of
them tore up? how each one of them dealt with the messenger or the messenger? Rasulullah? Selim? As for the Persian king, he tore up the message, right? Is that true or not? And as for the Roman King, what did the Roman King do? He actually contemplated accepting Islam right? So Shere Khan, Islamic Tamia, Rahim, Allah says, Listen to this scheffel Islamic law says that because of the way that they were with the messenger, Rasulullah sallallahu, when the message came to them, Allah either destroyed their progeny or or looked after their progeny. And this is the reason why chef Mr. Tamia says until now Rome has not been conquered, until this time. Why? Because the because Caesar, Caesar
with the message of Rasulullah Setsuna was kind and honorable, and he wanted to contemplate actually accepting Islam as an authentic hudy the fourth Hadith in Bukhari go and read it.
He actually contemplated accepting Islam but there is people said no, and so he said, No, okay, I won't, I won't leave I won't accept Islam. But whereas the Persian ruler, he taught the Messenger of Allah so Allah destroyed them, Allah destroyed them, and Allah took away everything from them, and their children are left the religion can accept that Islam, so no more of the religion of the forefathers. Does that make sense? Everyone, so by Allah, the righteousness of the Father, the righteousness of the father is a response it is it is a right upon upon the fathers, for the children.
These are the rights that our children have upon us, and what are the rights that our wives have upon us? our wives also have certain rights upon us. What are they? They are exemplified by a particular verse in the Quran, Allah Allah Subhana. Allah says, In Surah Nisa, he says, Why should I? Why should I build my roof? In verse number 19 Surah Nisa, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, and be with them in goodness and kindness, scholars have five different narrations about what this verse means about be with them in maroof or goodness or kindness. The first opinion about the scholar said that we have to generally provide for them in a very general basic sense, whatever they need in a
very general basic sense, without any specific criteria of what we should provide to them. This is the most simplest of opinions. Opinion number two says that we should provide for them only when only when they are they are satisfying our physical desires.
So who said this whose opinion is this this is the opinion even humbling methods opinion
It is obligatory on the husband to provide for the wife, as long as the wife is sexually gratifying the husband and providing for his needs, okay, and when the wife is not doing so meaning when the wife has been disobedient to the husband, then that is not an obligation upon the husband to provide for the wife. This is a second opinion. The third opinion of the scholars about this hadith about natural maruf states that we should be with them as a Kufa with their wives. As the disbelievers are with their wives, the way the disbelievers are the very basic level, that this is the way that we are with our wives as well. The fourth opinion states amongst the scholars, is that we have to the
fourth opinion about being with them in goodness, states that we are with our wives at least one night in four nights, one night and four nights. Why? Basically because the fact that we are able to take more than one wife up to four, the fifth opinion, which is the strongest opinion, and inshallah is the right opinion in Allah and Allah subhanho wa Taala knows best is Allah subhanho wa Taala if he did not put any faith, any definition, any limitation to something, then we go back to the customs, the people to define that limit. Right?
Right. Does that make sense? So therefore, I'll add the mahakam. As we said, Arabic, the other of the customers, the people will decide the limits and something where the Sharia has not defined limits. So therefore, the way we are meant to be with our wives is defined by our custom say, So ask yourself this question. Is it customary for in Australia for a wives for wives to have a part?
Yes or no?
If the brothers are saying yes, that means it's an obligation upon you to buy your wife a car.
So think very carefully. Well, what do you when you say? Yes? Okay. Is it customary in Australia? For wives to have a mobile phone?
If it is,
sisters, is it? Is it customary? Of course it is. How is the wife gonna call the husband and the wife? How do you know the food's not foods cooked or not? Come on.
So in that case, therefore, it is obligatory on the husband to pay for the wife's phone bill as well.
Yeah, because why should I want them on my roof? It's a command of Allah. Be with them as my roof is customary? Does that make sense? Everyone? Okay. Is it customary in Australia? Is it customary in Australia? For the wives to get $100 a day? As a stipulate from the husband or income or whatever? Yeah. Spending money? No, no, come on a bit here. I live in Australia. I know that is not not customary. So this is not required. Okay. This is not a write of the wife upon us. Is it customary? Is it customary for the wives? Is it customary for the wives to generally cook for the husband?
Yes, yeah, you can see the chicken tonight who's cooking so wife cooking, right? All the ads is usually the wife cooking. So therefore it is the wife's is the husband's right? to expect that from the wife. Okay. Is it customary in Australia for the wife to do the washing as well?
You got the car, you have to give something back.
Okay, so again, we go back to the verse so this is the comprehensive meaning of the verse and it says nice to see, he says this is a strong discipline in which is that that we look at the customers the people to decide what is the right of each of the each other on each one of us inshallah, okay, the very basic right is the most basic, basic right. The second right of the wife upon us is that we treat our wives with equity, we treat our wives with equity. And equity means that we're equitable to their needs, not equality, because that equality dictates really injustice. But equity dictates justice, because equity is where you apply justice appropriately. Then her right upon us is that we
respect her feelings, we show a kindness we show consideration her right upon us is that we don't show our wife any aversion to herself, or to her to herself. Her right upon us is that we don't keep our wives with the intention of harming them. But we keep our wives meaning that we are married to allies with the intention of benefiting them and loving them. Her right upon us is that we is that we allow her to demand freedom from our marriage from the marriage, if she cannot bear us anymore, or if she doesn't want to stay within our marriage anymore. And her right upon us is that we sexually gratify her. These are the most basic basic basic rights, the most basic rights without
which By Allah, we have not given
In our wives, the most basic rights that Islamic faith dictates Islamic Sharia gives to each one of two, the husband and the wife. Right? But really what I'm talking about today is more than that. I'm not talking about just basically giving your wives or your children the most basic thing that is do for them. I am talking about how you can be proper leaders, proper shepherds over your families, what does it mean to be a leader? Do you know what it means to be leader? Number one, the first thing that it means to be a leader is to actually take the mantle of responsibility and accepted. How many fathers do we have today? And how many husbands we have today? Who don't accept the mantle
of responsibility of fatherhood? If they accepted the mantle responsibility of fatherhood, why are they not spending time with their children? If they expected if they accepted the man's responsibility of fatherhood? Why are they always at every single point of time, finding every opportunity to leave the home and not be with their families? If they accepted the mantle responsibility of being a leader over the wife? Why do they have no idea of how to guide their wife to become more practicing more religious, more knowledgeable about Islam, we have not accepted the mantle responsibility, we must accept it. Because Allah has thrown this upon our shoulders, we have
no choice but to accept. So to be a shepherd, we must accept the man's responsibility. And this is number one. Point number two, we must have an idea of where we want our families to go. We must have a goal. And we must have an idea or a vision, to where we want to lead our family. What do we want our family to become? What sort of people do want our children to become? And how do we want our wives to meet Allah subhanho? wa Taala? In what state? Should our wives meet Allah subhanho wa Taala. So we must have an idea about the vision or the ultimate vision for our family, we must This is your role as a father, my brothers in Islam, this is a lecture for you today. This is your
responsibility, my friends, this is the challenge upon you. Where will you take your family? This is the most important question that you must answer today. The third responsibility the third sign of being a true leader is that you are a person, a man of principles and a man of your word. To be a leader means you must be principled. If you don't have principle, then you cannot be a leader. Imagine a CEO of a company, who tells everyone save, save, save, don't spend the resources of the company and he himself is frivolous with the wealth of the company, what do you call that? Call the CEO. You call him a hypocrite? don't you call them a hypocrite you don't you don't listen to his
leadership. You don't listen to him. When he tells you it tells you something else next time, this strategy that started you listen to it. In the same way when the father does not walk the talk, that indeed he loses his mantle of leadership, he loses the mantle of leadership. So true father's true shepherds are people are people who are principled, and who walked the talk. True fathers and true shepherds and true husbands are people that are courageous and brave, you must be courageous and brave. How weakly measly is that human being who is afraid I know this brother. in Medina, I used to know Him, who who always used to take a different path all the time. And whenever there was
something that he knew that there was some sort of commotion going on some area, you take a different path he was the most afraid person could ever find. I mean, you know what women don't love men that simply have no courage. Leaders are courageous people, they will venture, they will not be reckless and destroy themselves, but they will be courageous in putting the trust in Allah and then venturing or being and taking their family towards a direction where there may be some danger, but they will protect them, they will put themselves up in front of every one of them. So to be courageous and to be brave, is extremely important, courageous and brave by courage and brave
doesn't mean against an external enemy. It might also mean other things like what like leaving your job that is paying you good money right now.
But the job does not fulfill your vision. Perhaps your vision is to study Islam. But if you continue on in your current job, you're not going to be able to go to Egypt and study Islam for example, or study actually Egypt, study Arabic and Quran. So you're going to Egypt to study Arabic Quran won't be able to do so if you're actually working now at this point in time, right? So courage is required for you to leave that job. So a man must be courageous, and a father must be courageous and a husband must be a person of courage. Ask yourself, are you a person with courage? Are you a person who is willing to take the tough steps and do the tough things? If not, then you have some lacking
something lacking inside you? A man are a true leader and a True Father. And a true husband must be merciful unkind mercy and kindness is very important. But Allah but Allah how many people do we
Find they are not merciful unkind, once the prophets of assylum had has an insane coming to them and he kissed them. He kissed them and hug them. I one of the Sahaba he said yasunaga kissing your children, but Allah never kissed my children. What did the Prophet Some say?
He says, Mandala your, your hug, the one who does not have any mercy, Allah will not have any mercy on him.
If you are not merciful with your children, if always you show a stick to them, if always whenever the you come into the home, straightaway, there's that fear in their hearts rather than love and mercy and kindness, then, but Allah, you've created the wrong impression. You have to be a person of mercy and kindness. And that is what a true father is. That is what the true husband is. Your wife must be able to come and hug you and cry on your shoulders. If she cannot, if she's crying and hugging a pillow, if she's hugging her friend.
That's funny. If she's,
if she's hugging a female friend of hers, and she's crying on her shoulders, then Allah you're not merciful and kind enough, you are too hard and harsh with her. Be gentle and soft, but Allah as the prophet SAW, Selim said authentic Howdy. Right, there is nothing that gentleness is removed from except that it uglies it makes it ugly, and dirty. And there is nothing that gentleness and softness and kindness enters into it. Except that is beautifies. So be gentle, in your words, be gentle in your action. This is what a true leader truly is.
a true leader, a True Father, and a true husband, who is a true Shepherd, he knows how to delegate and when he knows that he can't do everything together. He knows he needs the partnership of his wife and his children in order to make this family work. So he knows what to delegate and when to delegate. So he will delegate the appropriate things, and he will not delegate other things. The prophets of asylum could have delegated all his household work to his to his Sahaba, who were ready to do anything for the Beloved Prophet at the drop of a hat, right. But he did not do so. He also tended to the sheep, he also mended his clothes, he also fixed issues. Why did he do so even though
he could have delegated? Because certain things, you just don't delegate? You don't delegate. You have to clean the house, you do it yourself. You don't delegate that away to your wife. Because if you were to delegate that away, then your wife would not be attracted to you. Did you see that episode on TV that said, Aussie women are attracted to tradies.
Apparently Aussie women attracted trees. You know what this is apparently the case with all women, women like husbands that do some household work. They're attracted to them. They're attracted to husbands who say, you know what, I understand what you're going through wife? Why don't you sit down and I'll do the washing? And I'll do the mopping today. And I'll and I'll do the food today? Wouldn't that be amazing?
That'd be amazing. Amazing, but Allah. But that is what the prophecies are. Indeed, that is exactly what the Prophet did you know, that the prophecies of you know how it's customary now for the woman to feed the man. Right? Or, for example, the mothers like in our culture, for example, the mothers usually take the food and put it around a piece of bread and put it in your mouth. Right? It's a way of kindness and mercy, right. But the Prophet sesamum used to feed his wife from his own hands, not the other way around. Wow. The Prophet said, I should have Yolanda from his own hands the other way around. And this was well known, well known to be the practice of Rasulullah Selim, that he would
feed Ayesha from his own hands, rather than Ayesha feeding Rasulullah Salah from
you know the other way around. Okay, so you know what to delegate and when you don't delegate the most important tasks, mending that shoe, fixing that broken cupboard.
Right, vacuuming the floor. These are things you should not delegate away, because these are things that will make your wife attracted to you, then you have another criteria for being a true Shepherd, is that you know, when to share opinions when to involve your family. In a collective decision making process, collective decision making process, you don't just decide you have to involve them in the decision making process. You don't say to your wife, I have decided we are doing this, I have decided that since it's my house, I'm the leader. If you don't obey me, I'll get angry with you. So therefore better you better obey me.
Right? Or something like that. Okay. Okay. And we know unfortunately, such chronic ways of behaving with your wives unfortunately, it's rampant in our community. We don't want to do this anymore. We want to be people who know when to involve our wives in what is issues and when to take their their their thoughts in what what issues inshallah it's really really critically important. Rasul Allah says, Allah
When the Sahaba were not listening to him, we're not listening to him at what point at the end of the day via if you remember, the Sahaba did not listen to Rasul Allah says Allah when he signed the treaty, and they were they were not. They were bewildered because our solar system gave so much concessions to the disbelievers. And there will be wilted prosolo his anger, he came into the hut, and he told him selama say Ohm selama the people are not listening to me. Do not fear Allah, they're not listening to me. So Osama said, Yasser Allah, why don't you shave your head and slaughter your sheep. And people will also do the same as soon as they see you. So that's what exactly the prophecy
did. He listened to his wife, he shared the opinion, he shared the most important thing on his mind with his family. And this is what a true leader does, because you don't have all the answers my friends as leaders, you simply have a responsibility, not the answers. So you need to involve others. Also, Allah subhanho wa Taala tells them about Russia, we're home, Phil, and take their advice in every in every matter, in all matters. Take their advice, well shall will who will? And who was this verse revealed to to Rasulullah sesamum a man who does make a mistake, right? Who doesn't make a mistake in Islam? He could make a mistake in none other than Islam. But in matters of
Islam, he doesn't make a mistake at all. He is Massoud right, he doesn't make a mistake in matters of Islam. Yet, this was a man who doesn't make a mistake in Islam still told to take the advice of people who do make mistakes the Sahaba
So, what is therefore how important therefore do you think it is for people like us who do make mistakes, to take advice from also other people who also make mistakes, so that collectively our wisdom may be better? collectively our guidance will be better and there is Baraka insurance and listening to your wife listen to your children and and sharing thoughts with them. A true A True Father and a true husband. My brothers and sisters Islam motivates their family motivates them instills excitement in them energizes them, a father who spreads dread and and and dullness in the family is not a true is not a true shepherd. A true Shepherd is someone who inspires the wife to
action inspires and motivates the children. How can you do that? bribe them.
bribe them by love, bribe them badly. Like what? Well, you know, like with the children, if you memorize the Quran, I'll do this for you. If you do this, I'll do that for you. With your wife, for example, if you're able to, for example, do damage to your family and successfully and x y, Zed etc. We will go out for a you know for dinner somewhere in a very nice place. Okay, or we'll we'll go you know, we'll go Malaysia or something like that, right.
Okay, bribe them. There's nothing wrong with inshallah, but motivate them instill excitement in them. A True Father does that a true father does that a true father doesn't take on all the work on himself. rather he instills the excitement and energy so that the children and the wife also work within towards the same goal, MSN clause. And lastly, my friends, a True Father, a True Father communicates very well. The essence of leadership is communication. The the essence of leadership, Maxwell says in his books are regarding leadership 99% of leadership is communication. If you cannot communicate with your wife, if you cannot communicate with your children, then by law, you cannot be
a true leader. You cannot be a true leader. because how else do you motivate through words? How else do you inspire your vision through words? How else do you tell someone and instruct someone and delegate to someone through words and communication? So therefore be a master of communication? This is why we remember what she was saying half the things you will say actually, all the things you were saying was about communication, about husband listening to the wives about wise, understanding how the husbands understand words, right, everyone, it's all about communication. So leaders and true shepherds are masters at communicating. This is why the prophecies would completely Keep quiet.
When Ayesha was talking, just listening. That's communicating, isn't it? And that's where the profit system would communicate in the softest and gentlest of ways. Because that's he was a master communication. So master communication, and you will master the art of leadership. you master the art of leadership, my brothers and sisters in Islam.
I want to give you some examples of exemplary fathers and husbands but Allah, exemplary fathers and exemplary husbands and think about how you can imitate them by Allah. The Prophet says Allah Look at his resolve. Look at his resolve.
When the crash came and said, Yeah, your Mohammed Salah, we will let you be king over kurush and we will worship your God for one year and you worship our God for for another year. What did he say? But Allah if you were to put the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left hand
I would not leave the religion of this religion that I've been beset with for a single moment. But look at the results he had. What do you think Fatima took from that? What do you think the Prophet systems children took from that? What do you think the prophecies his wives took from that firm resolve to the end, we are a family who is led by a man who is not going to compromise at all for a single moment on his principles. So we are going to stick with with heaven or hell, we're going to stick till the end,
till the end with all difficulty and all hardship. This is what they understood from a father or a husband and spoke like that resolve resolve. Look at the Profit System and his courage. Look at the Profit System and his courage. The prophets have always the most deepest into the into the ranks enemy. How do you think his children would have been? How do you think his wives would have been the prophesy and his giving in his kindness and mercy in giving charity? The Prophet had nothing to eat yet he would give everything in charity. The Prophet Sam had nothing to eat yet, he would give everything that was given to him so that he could come off his level of poverty would give it away.
What do you think that made his wife wives be? This is why his wives used to give so much and so much It is reported that in the time of Amara, the Allahu anhu, when the runner of Iraq came through, when the when the the booty wire booty from Iraq and the Persian word of God came through that, that when I'm about to divide up the war booty I shadowed the Allahu Allah got the equivalent of more than 10 million US dollars in our time, the equivalent of more than 10 million US dollars in our time in gold coins, the equivalent of Okay, and so therefore, and what happened was, I should have dilemma that the nightfall did not come except that she had given it away. nightfall had not
come, except that she had given it away. Where did she learn this from? She learnt it from Rasulullah sallallahu sallam, a man, a man who hardly finished his salah and ran away into his heart, and then came back and the Sahaba said, Dr. Rasulullah, what happened? You just finished your Salah and he went away and he came back. He said, But Allah in the Salah, I remembered a gold coin that I had in my home. I remember the gold coin that I had in my home, and I did not want to finish any moment of time, except that I've given it away because of Allah. Yes, Allah. This is what they learned from their husbands. This is what they learned from their father. This is a true shepherd.
And this is the example that he led. And this is why I should Atlanta was like this. And this is why Fatima rhodiola was like that. Let me tell you how Fatima learned charity from our father. It is reported in authentic narration that once Allah rhodiola, who went back home to Fatima after having having carried water on his head, from the well of Medina, and for other people, and gotten back a little about two loaves of flour, and with that father made two loaves of bread, one low for her and alley, one low for the for the children, and one low for for algebra one one love for her and the children, children.
And I believe they made three loaves, Allah Callaghan, what happened was one for Ali, one for Fatima, and one for the children. It was three loaves of bread. But what what so what happened was at that point, a beggar came past and so forth. And I gave give them one piece and a prisoner walking past and they gave them one piece and another poor person came past someone from the family member and they gave back one piece. They had nothing to eat, and they went to home home, they went to sleep. These were the people of general going to sleep without any food at all in this life. So what happened so Allah revealed a verse, what verse was it? Well, you can remove that karma Allah
Hopi Myskina tema zero, denominator mo de la isla Ilana. Pooja, I wanna Shakira. So Allah revealed this verse, what is this verse? Allah says, and they feed the poor, the orphan and the the orphan, the poor and the prison of war. And they say in verily we feed for the sake of Allah, we don't want from you any reward or any Thank you. Do you know in these verses in this surah Allah did not mention at all. Do you know whenever Allah mentions verses of gender he always mentioned only except in this verse. Do you know why it not Josie Rahim? Allah says in southern mercy, he says it he says Allah love Fatima's action so much, that he did not mention the hole in in these verses, because he
knew of the jealousy of Fatima and he did not want to offend her at all. And but Allah is for this reason why the only verses about the about Jenna in the Quran that does not mention the whole thing at all. Yes, hello. Yes, Allah. Amazing, but Allah, where did Fatima learn this charity from from her father, Rasulullah Selim, Father
Let me give you more examples in the next five minutes that I have with you before Salah, the prophet SAW Selim and his mercy towards I shall have the latter. True mercy as we said, husbands and fathers are absolutely merciful. I should not be alone and how was once argued with Rasulullah Salah. At that point, Abu Bakar heard the arguing and came in when he came into the hut and this is an amazing incident listen to what lay the hot melts. Talking about this incident. Abu Bakr radi Allahu walked into the heart was was I showed you Lana was raising her voice against rosulip. Excellent. So at that point, Abu Bakr said of Oh, Ayesha, what's going on while you're raising your
voice? So at that time, the solar system turned to ash and said, should I tell your father about what's going on? So I should have said, Yes, tell him but don't speak accept the truth.
Wow. So what do you think Abu Bakr did, Abu Bakr got angry? And he went and he hit Ayesha. And he kept on hitting her. And he said, How dare you? How dare you say about that about our solar system? Does he speak accept the truth? And so what happened was Rasulullah Salim, started shielding Ayesha from a worker and I shall hid behind Rasulullah Subhana Allah and then also ordered a worker to lead the heart listen to this, he ordered Abu Bakr to leave the hut. And then he turned to his Ayesha and look at this. And he apologized for the behavior of Abu Bakar towards
who was the one who was wrong. I should
write the Who is the one who's apologizing. Rasulullah Islam in calella Filipino demon, verily upon exalted character, even Allah that great is amazing, this character. Amazing, isn't it? Subhan Allah, this is the kindness and mercy May Allah make our husbands and our fathers as merciful as our solar system was to towards them.
Aristotle La Silla was truly a man who was who had the highest level of empathy towards his children. So much so that he disapproved of alila the Allahu anhu taking a second wife was popular the alarm was it was alive. Why? Because he did not want to offend his daughter. And he said whatever offense Fatima has offended me. So as a result, he disapproved or agitating a second wife was Fatima was alive because he knew Fatima had a lot of jealousy and didn't want to angle the alarm. Such other fathers were slammed such other true shepherds of Islam, that look after the sheep, the look after the sheep and what is important to them, but Allah let us also be such leaders
and such shepherds that we take responsibility of our sheep and our children. I have a couple of points of advice for you before I finish on how to be a better husband, and how to be a better wife. Number one, how to be a better husband and how to be a better shepherd. Number one, show your family show your wives true love to sympathy and true respect to humbleness, true sympathy, true respect, respect these creatures of Allah subhanho wa Taala these fragile creatures Allah subhanho wa Taala respect them, and be humble with them and show them sympathy. But Allah show them genuine kindness, genuine kindness from the bottom of the heart, and they will see it and they will feel it. They are
quite sensitive individuals, and they will know it when you truly are doing your best to show your best side and shala. So show them genuine kindness and genuine gentleness and genuine care. I want you to work towards their future towards what they want to do as well as what you want to do. And this is truly important. work towards their future involve them in the future of what you're trying to do with the family and by law you will see them becoming princesses for you. When you be a prince to them they will become a princess for you. I want you to give love a real chance. My father's my my husband's over here my brothers and sisters, my brothers were husbands in the audience and we
want to be husbands. Give love a chance. Give love a chance. When was the last time you actually gave love a chance to form. You married your wife for attraction we know that you didn't marry your wife because of love. Your human behavior. We know your men. Men don't marry because of love. Men marry, even if the saints love the line. It's really attraction. You married your wife because you're attracted to them. Let's be truthful. But now is the time to actually give love a chance. How would you give love a chance? Well many ways. find opportunities for love. find opportunities for love. When was the last time you actually just took your wife out just for dinner? When was the last
time you bought something for yourself, not for your wife something for yourself that your wife would like to see on you.
Buy something for yourself. Write a beautiful, whatever welcome is a beautiful thought, What a beautiful shirt or a beautiful pattern, something your wife would like to see on you. instead of the other way around that you give your wife, why don't you buy something? I like to see you. Okay?
Okay. So give love a chance. And also opportunities for love, opportunities for love. Like for example, like for example, going away as a family towards those, those trips, that where you actually spend a lot of time to get romance, it's very important to have romance in your lives. You cannot be true husbands fulfilling obligations upon your wives until you give the romance a chance. The Prophet says to them was so romantic. So romantic love. I remember talking about this in one of the mosques in Birmingham, and the old uncles were going like this, you know,
it's like steam blowing off from this, you know, under like, going like this panel. The Prophet was so romantic Subhanallah he would take the glass bowl for the drinking bowl from Asia, when she had drunk and she would he would turn the ball around where she had, he would find the spot where she had put her mouth. Then she would put his mouth he would put his mouth where she had put her mouth and drink was looking at.
Wow, look at that.
Dynamite. Analyze, romance. And Ayesha what what's what what would he call alijah? He would call Ayesha yahoomail Ah, yo Mira, what is marami? O'Meara means? The little red one.
Why little red what she was little because she was small. And why red, because in Arabia, in Arabia, when you're intensely white, and it's 50 degrees, you become red, right? So that's why they would call it humera. Because she was intensely white. And she and she would like to be called White because White was synonymous with pretty, so eloquently. alcohol. So you would call her Humira instead of your Oh Musa for omega, or whatever, etc. It's not very romantic terms. So give romance a chance, if you really want to be good husbands, and build a strong relationship between you and your wife, and give romance a chance. Also, pampering and spoiling very simple, simple things. Very
simple things like what a rose a day, a rose a day.
Right? It's simple. It's simple, by law, simple, it's only $2 you know,
it's true, I'll tell you where I used to buy them from here. $2 you can buy them in bulk as well. So
a rose a day but but simple things like that. But Allah have a great effect. also focusing on that which focusing on your combined vision for each other. And of course, lastly, making the alpha love. But Allah When's the last time you actually asked a lot to create love between your hearts? When was the last time you have to say Oh, I love it. My wife loves me and make me love my wife, to ask for love but love one of the most beautiful things, one of the most beautiful things about law, my advice for you to become a better father number one become more pious, more pious. Why? Because by law the world more pious you are allowed to look after the after the children. Why? Because look in
the Hadith. Look at the verses in the Quran. In surah Kahf we hear that one of the one of the things that the the the man who did who was a prophet. So one of the things that he did was that he fixed up the wall for the orphans in the village, right everyone. He fixed up the wall. The first thing he did was, he broke the he broke the ship. The second thing he did was he killed a man right. The third thing he did was there was a wall that was wailing and about to fall and he fixed it. Why did he fix it? When moussaka Tim asked him why he said or MLG da da cannoli hula mania. Kimani Phil Medina to Karnataka ogunsola, as for the Gita used to belong to two orphans in the village, and
underneath was their their treasure, what clan abou masala and the father was a righteous man for our other buka because of that Allah wanted for our other
And because the father was a righteous man, Allah wanted to save their children, save their treasure and wait for them to become become adults and then take the treasure out as a mercy from Allah. This is why I fixed the wall for them because the wall would then cover up the treasure otherwise. So here even as I said Allah wanted, Allah wanted goodness for the orphans, Li Salafi Abbey Hema because of the righteousness of the Father. But the father was there no one to look after the children. But Allah looked after the children the orphans. Why? Because the father was a righteous man. This is why sighs the Messiah would turn to his son and he would say yeah, buena Yella as he
didn't I mean Salatin, oh my son, I will increase in my prayers for your sake. So become a righteous father, become a righteous man and you will become a true shepherd. For your children. You become a true Shepherd for your children
become more principled individuals. Because when you are a true principled individual, Allah
will create great scholars and great leaders amongst yourself. Take the example of, of one of the one of the one of the great, one of the pious individuals with the name of Mubarak, this man or man, there was a man by the name of Mubarak, and he was a slave to a monster in Baghdad. And this is a very interesting story, just listen to it very quickly. And we're coming to the to the end. And Mubarak was a slave to the master, who used to live in Baghdad, and the master used to have a huge art archive of all char of grapevines. And he also had a very, very beautiful, pious daughter who everyone tried to get married to all the scholarship to get married to and they and they, and she
would simply refuse all the time. But Mubarak was a very righteous man. What happened was the master put Mubarak in charge of the grapevines. And over three months or so Mubarak route that looked out looked after the Great grapevines. And then thereafter, after three months, the monster came back. The monster I believe his name was Mohammed came back. And when Mohammed came back, he asked, he asked Mubarak saying, yo, Mubarak, how's the grapes doing hamdulillah they're doing well or master. They seem to be green now and they seem to be dark now, etc. Different colors is a word, can you get me some grapes so that I can taste them and see whether they have become become ripe or not? So
Abdullah, so Mubarak, he went back and he actually got some grapes. So at that point, he tasted the grapes, the master tasting grapes, and he went spat it out. Mubarak, these are sour grapes are sour, can you please bring me some ripe dates, red grapes. So he went again, and he got some more grapes. And again, they were sour. And so he spat it out and said Mubarak was wrong to get me some ripe, ripe ones. So he went again, and he got them again and again. They were sour. So the Master said, Yeah, Mubarak, what is wrong with you? Don't you know the difference? between a right grade and a center and a non right one and a wrong one? Don't you know the difference between the two? He said
but Allah No, I don't. But Allah for three months, three months, grades will be dropping from your grapevine. But Allah I have not tasted one of them. Because I because I feel a lot I would not ever take something which I don't have permission to take. Yes, this man was Mubarak. So the master became so happy within, married him to his daughter, and they had a son by the name of the loved one. Well know when the fathers are righteous, but Allah Allah will give to make amazing children. Allah will give them amazing children when you're principled Allah will give you amazing children who are also principled, and that Allah This is the example of Abdullah work which is well known
scholars talk about all the time.
involve the sun in your affairs. Tell your children involved the sudden your face but Allah one of the beautiful things I used to like about my father is a huge involvement in his decision making process. He used to tell me when he didn't have money enough to buy me a particular toy or do a particular thing he would tell me my son, I don't have enough money now for this. I used to love that because he would he would involve me in the decision making process. When you involve your child in the decision making process. They feel empowered, just like Ibrahim manasota salaam did with his smiling Sato Salah. Just like he did with his smile Alan Soto Salaam, what do you do?
You're a Buddha in the era of human anatomy.
Tara, or my son, I saw my dream I'm killing you. So tell me what you think. He said yeah, but if I'm a surgeon inshallah homina surgery, Oh Allah do so much Oh my father do as you've been told, you will find me truly patient. But Allah He became patient because his father involved him in the affair. And of course, my my friends, be people like being exemplary exemplary exemplary fathers. That practice what you preach just like Mr. rhodiola. And who, because when you are like that you will have children like a beloved.
Do you know how many how many Hadees that I've read? Where Abdullah? If Norma praises his father. Do you know how many Hadith I have read with Abdullah Ahmed, the son of Omar Abdullah who is praising his own father. Amontillado, your Salah every time I read it. My chef would say Allah give us children. Who will one day praise us as well. Who will one day make dua for us just like Abdullah used to do for his own his own father? Yes. How much you know the beautiful, authentic it? What an amazing man was was almost as Abdullah said, he said, What an amazing man was a farmer, we used to find that armor would be on one opinion would be one side and the people's opinion another side and
Allah will send out a revelation agreeing with the opinion of karma, who was saying that it was a happy thought of the law. Most of the heavies are praising the father of armor rhodiola no are actually from his son Abdullah. Amazing but Allah, May Allah give us children one day, who also think that fathers are heroes. May Allah give us children and May Allah make us the heroes
For our children so that our children may also speak our praises when we pass away, not praised in front of people for pride, but praises because of the principle and the values that we live by, by Allah so that people may learn from us and learn from my examples. May Allah give us such beautiful, beautiful wives, and such love and affection between us and them, that they cry the day we pass away with a with a crime of a woman who has lost her soulmate, just like I should have cried on the day that Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam passed away and even though the prophets course was next to her, she said what law it is as if I can see in front of me the Rasulullah sysm coming to me and
I can see the glistening of the perfume in the parking of the hair of my beloved Russell was an amazing amazing by law this woman, tremendously in love with Rasulullah Salah waiting for the day when she will be joining him in Jannah inshallah, and this is these my brothers, sisters in Islam, are the examples of true shepherds, true fathers and true husbands but Allah that are true leaders over the families May Allah give us the blessings of the trophy, to be like that inshallah Zuckerman