The Five Languages of Love

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Tariq Appleby

Channel: Tariq Appleby

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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Allahi wa sahbihi ultramarine Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu. This is starting Appleby from Monday to QA. And today we talk about the five languages of love, the month of Ramadan is a perfect opportunity to, to learn these languages and to practice upon them in sha Allah huhtala and to speak them. And the first of these are words of appreciation and encouragement. During the month of Ramadan, we are always looking for motivation to do more good deeds. And so as couples, we want to encourage our spouses, we want to appreciate what our spouses are doing. We want to appreciate what they are doing for not only for

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themselves, but also for us, I want to tell them that I'm going to tell them Zakah located on desert Killa, who held on May Allah reward you will lie here what you did for me last night was amazing what you did for me this morning, you know, Dracula head on for helping me out with, you know, with the chores, and those are words of appreciation, words of encouragement, or saying to your spouse, when especially when your spouse feels that you know, they're not able to do something, they're not able to meet a deadline and say no, if you need help, I'm there to help you and will lie he plus Allah subhanho wa Taala he will grant you success, you know, don't worry inshallah of data you will

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pass that exam, or you know, you you aced that deadline, you meet it and you know, those are words of encouragement, always making our feel of making our spouses feel that, you know, they can achieve what they set out to achieve, and they can achieve their goals and dreams and to and to, and to actually help them achieve them. You know, it's not, it's not only that, we encourage them, but then we help them and we facilitate, you know, and we bring about all the means necessary for them to achieve that. And so this is a relationship symbiotic, if we can call it that, you know, where I help my wife and my wife helps me. And we assist one another, because that's what it means to love

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one another. This is the first language of love it obviously, as there are many dialogues in many different ways in which you can speak this language. But ultimately, it's about, you know, thanking and appreciating our spouses, and also to encourage them, and especially during the month of Ramadan, to encourage them to, you know, to exert themselves into to please Allah subhanho wa Taala, and to do as many good deeds as they possibly can. The second one of the second amongst this is, the quality of these languages is something called quality time, we spoke about this in the earlier reminder, but, you know, just to think of it as a language of quality time is extremely important,

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we have all these busy schedules, the month of Ramadan is no different, most of us will not be getting off anytime during the month of Ramadan, and so we'll all be at work will be you know, at our colleges and our campuses, and we won't find a lot of time, you know, it won't appear to us that there is a lot of time to spend together. But in reality, there's so much time, you know, we only have to sit together as a couple, communicate and talk about, you know, where exactly we could fit into time to spend, you know, it's especially, it's even more difficult for, for for couples with children. And so it's even more important for those couples, that they actually, you know, sit down

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and plan the time together, be in the La hytera. The third of this of these languages are gifts, and the month of Ramadan is a beautiful time to give gifts Alhamdulillah especially the day of aid, you know, but giving gifts, what is the underlying, you know, reason for, for, for, for, for the importance of this language, is that it tells your spouse, it tells the spouse, you know, if I if I buy a gift for my wife, it tells her that I was thinking of her, that I love her, I was thinking of her and I took out the time to go and buy something, or even if I found a flower, you know, on the side of the road, the fact that I picked it for her that and I brought it home isn't is a sign of my

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love for her the fact that I was thinking of her. So gifts are not necessarily about the money spent, and how you know, fancy or not the gift is but rather it's about the thought and that the is the underlying the underlying

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underlying principle and we have a principle in the Sherry Habu that give gifts and you will love one another and this is indeed true that you know you are closer to someone who has given you something a gift and you know, you sort of you find yourself inclined towards that person. And so definitely people that who is more entitled to to feel inclined towards one another. They are indeed husbands and wives and spouses. So we ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make this easy for us. Number four are acts of service are doing things for one another. Don't worry, my love, I will clean the our key the key of the table and the dishes of the eforce Hanalei it's an amazing thing to do, the

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month of Ramadan is all the all these opportunities, you know, preparing food for your spouse in the month of Ramadan, you know, telling them that, you know, you go in and read the Quran, I will take care of some of the chores and those acts of service, selfless acts in which you know, the spouse feels appreciated, the spouse feels that Subhanallah your husband or your wife feels that you are willing to take out of your busy schedule to do things for them. What does that say about how much you love me and how much you think of me and how much you appreciate me, you know what and how you value me as your partner and as your spouse. And so acts of service. Not only are they encouraged

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By the Sharia, but they will also we also know that scientifically they make us feel good, when people do good things for us, it makes us feel good, we feel appreciated, we feel loved. Lastly, the last of these languages of love, or the last of these languages of love, or physical is physical touch, physical touch, and what we mean here is not specifically you know, sexual relations or something that is, you know, intimate and physically intimate in nature. But, you know, holding hands, you know, just cuddling together, hugging one another, a peck on the cheek before work, these are important to establish contact, and you will notice that you know, couples that are having

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problems, their body language shows they are not inclined to want to be together to be physically together, and that is a bad sign, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam with kisses wise before leaving to the masjid, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was a person that was very affectionate, and not only with these wise, but also with the children and grandchildren. And so, therefore, you know, we should not we should not shy away from that, we should not say that, you know, our culture, or, you know, our, our particular you know, psychological makeup or emotional makeup, you know, prevents us from that. No, you know, we should move past that didn't say, well,

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the sun is this and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was the best example. So you and I need to strive to become like that, to you know, to get rid of our prejudices and our our biases and our and our customs that in reality, many of them are countries, the sooner even though the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came from Arabia, where it wasn't really you know, that the culture, especially amongst the Bedouin, was not to kiss and hug your children, but the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was different. He taught us what it meant to be human, what it meant to you know, to tap into our human nature. And so as couples, this is extremely important. Well May Allah

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subhanho wa Taala grant that each and every one of us are able to speak these five languages of love fluently, and May Allah subhanho wa Taala grant us the fruits and the benefits of being able to do so desirable. La halen was set down when it comes to LA he albaraka