Taleem al Quran 2012 – P02 031E Tafsir Al-Baqarah 233

Now, when two people are married, obviously they get married why? So that they can have a family? Right? So children and when a child is born, the first thing that he needs is food. Right. So now the next idea talks about breastfeeding,

the obligation of breastfeeding. Who is this obligation upon? Is it only upon the mother or also upon the father, child custody in the case of divorce? And in the case of divorce, will the child be fed by the mother or not? Can the child be fed by someone else? What are the rulings concerning that?

So Allah subhanaw taala says well, well either too, and all mothers you'll learn to they should nurse I will add a Hoonah their children for how long? How Lanie kami lane, two years CAMI Lane complete

Awali that floral off where leader and who is well he does the Tamil buta tn indicates his feminine

while other while Landon lamb jellied Willem EULA, what does it mean to give birth?

So well he there is she who gives birth who is that? Who is that? The mother? Okay, so l Wiley that what does this l mean? Not just the mothers, but all mothers, all mothers, meaning every woman who gives birth, whether she is still married,

or she is a widow, or she is a divorced woman? Or, you know, she's not even married, let's say she committed Zina, and as a result of that she had a child. So is she supposed to nurse her baby?

Yes, Allah says allele that all mothers regardless of their marital status, in other words,

regardless of their marital status, this does not mean that women should go and have children just like that were outside of the bounds of marriage. But if it does happen, which did happen once in the lifetime of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, that a woman, she came and she said that I have committed Zina. And because of that I am pregnant. So in fact, the punishment upon me and the punishment for a married woman who commit Zina is what

do you know,

stoning to death, we'll discuss that when the time comes. The reason behind that the wisdom behind that what the procedure is, we will discuss that. But this woman, she herself came to the Prophet salallahu Salam, and she said, I have committed wrong, purify me, in fact, the punishment upon me and the prophets, Allah, Islam did not want to do that. Because it's a very severe punishment. And if Allah has concealed the sin of someone, they should not go on exposing it. So the Prophet sallallaahu, Selim turned away, but that woman kept coming. And she kept saying, purify me,

what she was expecting to the Prophet salallahu Salam said, Go away. When you have your child then come.

She did not forget, once she had her child, she came with the baby. And she said, inflicted punishment upon me, I don't want to go to Allah with this crime. on me, I want to be pure, I want to be clean. When I face Allah subhanaw taala.

So in the Prophet salallahu Salam said, But then who will nurse your child, go and nurse your child, and when your child is weaned, then come?

According to one report, we learn that that woman insisted, I don't want to wait too long. What if I die before that? What if I die naturally or something else happens? My heart changes and I don't want to get this punishment, then I will face Allah with this huge burden of sin.

So she insisted, and one of the companions, he said that I will pay for a wet nurse, I will find a wet nurse and I will pay her so that this child may be nursed. And then the punishment was inflicted upon her and when it was inflicted. The Prophet said a lot of them said that this doba this repentance, if it was distributed upon the people of Medina, it will be sufficient for them.

The manner in which this woman sincerely she turned to Allah, she repented to him, she sought His forgiveness. You know, it seems so barbaric to us. But look at the honesty of that woman. Look at the sincerity of that woman.

And the Prophet said a lot of them appreciated that. So anyway, we learned from this that even a child who is born out of Zina has the right to be nursed by the mother.

So Allah says, well, well he there too, and all mothers, you'll learn that you'll hear enough from the root letters, raw logs, from the word of Allah, and Allah is to nurse to breastfeed, okay to breastfeed and you'll learn that this

is like a command that all mothers should breastfeed this should nurse who Hola Hola. Hola deplore a love wallet and who is well, child.

So I will add all children whether boy or girl because in some cultures people think oh boy, nurse him more and girl, nurse her less

not right regardless of the gender of the child

they deserve to be nursed by the mother. So you'll learn that oh let the Hoonah for how long how Elaine kami Lane how Lane dual of Howell from the root letters? How long? And how long is a year? What is how? One year how ln how many years? Two?

So two years which years?

Which years? lunar years. Okay.

So if somebody has their baby, make sure you know when the baby was born according to the lunar year. Okay, because it's important.

So how lame Cameleon camelina is the dual of Camen and came in from calf meme lamb, one that is complete. So to complete yours. What does it mean by this?

This is the maximum period that a child may be nursed, according to majority of the scholars, majority of the scholars. And what's the evidence for that that two lunar years is the maximum term for which a child may be nursed beyond that it is not permissible? What's the evidence for that? This idea that Allah says Lehmann or order for the one who intends or order from Iran intention wrong? Well then, and that you Tim Murray Guevara, you Tima Tammy meme to complete

the one who intends to complete a Vergara the nursing mean the nursing period.

So the parents who want that the nursing period should be completed for their child should nurse their child for how long? For two years, so that's the maximum period.

Okay, so can a child be nursed until the age of three?

Can he or she know what about two and a half?

No, do maximum not beyond that. Not beyond that. Because Allah says Lehmann order a new timber Allah. And there are many other evidences in the Quran and Sunnah that show that it's two years and not more than that.

But this shows to us that if the parents want to nurse the child for less than two years, for whatever reason, is that permissible, that is also permissible, because from the statement, Lehmann, Allah that a UT Muladhara, the one who intends to complete the nursing period, this shows that there is also a possibility of not completing the nursing period.

You understand? So can a child be weaned at the age of one?

Can the child be weaned at the age of one? Yes, one and a half? Yes. 18 months? 20 months? Yes.

If a child is breastfed more than two years, is that wrong? According to the majority of the scholars? Yes, it would be because the maximum length is two years if you go beyond that, then this is transgression from the bounds that Allah subhanaw taala has said, but if it has happened out of ignorance, a person did not know. Or because forgetfulness, they didn't even realize that two years were over.

Okay, so then remember that Allah subhanaw taala is forgiving, okay? Because when a person does something wrong out of ignorance out of forgetfulness, that Insha Allah, Allah will forgive him because he did not have that intention to sin to disobey Allah. And Allah knows about our intentions. This is why we pray Robina Allah to Allah hidden in nesina O, Allah don't hold us accountable if we forget or we make an error.

Okay? So Limon are the N ut Muladhara. In another personal Quran, we learn what you saw Luffy Allemagne. And his weaning is done in two years, meaning that a child is taken off of breastfeeding completely by when by the age of two. So beyond that, it is not permissible, according to many of the scholars. And if you think about it, this makes a lot of sense. Because the natural time period for human beings to nurse their children is about two years how typically what happens that the mother she becomes pregnant within two years, typically, I'm not saying that this happens in every case, but generally this is the case. So when a woman is expecting then her all of the nutrition the

energy that is focused on

on what? on developing the new child.

So, if she continues to breastfeed, then what will happen? The children will suffer either the one in the womb, or the one outside or both. Okay. And it will claim he said something amazing, that makes a lot of sense. He said that babies should only be fed the mother's milk until their teeth appear until their teeth appear doesn't mean that the first sign of the tooth that's it stopped breastfeeding. No. What he meant by that is that by the age of two children have their teeth out, and you know, they're able to chew food very easily. By then, all children have enough teeth.

But before that, they don't have teeth, or they have very few teeth, they will have the front teeth only, not the back teeth. So it's difficult for them to to their stomach and digestive system are incapable of handling food, when the baby's teeth come out its stomach become strong and ready for other food.

So when the child is able to take other food, then he should be given more of that, because he needs it. And if he's not given other food, then it will affect his body it will affect his growth. Correct.

So this is the reason why even Okay, him, he said that the children should be nursed only up until the age of two and not beyond that.

Solomon orada N, UT Muladhara.

And if the parents if they decide to wean the child before the age of two, for whatever reason, let's say the woman became pregnant right away. She feels exhausted because she's nursing the child and she's unable to do so then is she allowed? Are the parents allowed to bring the child before the age of two? Yes, they have the liberty to do that. Okay. There could be many other reasons the woman she has to work, there is no other way. Let's say her husband, he is not employed, and only she has work and they don't have enough means to get by. So she has to work. And when she's at work, she can't be nursing her baby on demand anymore. Right? So eventually the child may be weaned, okay,

there could be many reasons. If there is a genuine reason, then the child may be weaned before the age of two. But my dear sisters, remember that it's the hack of the child to be nursed by the mother, because many women, they find breastfeeding difficult, or they find it embarrassing, or they feel that it will disfigure their body, that their body will not have that good of, you know a shape anymore, and their body will be not the same anymore. So they dislike breastfeeding.

But this is not fair. What the child gets from the mother's milk he or she cannot get from Formula. Honestly, some women think it's inconvenient to breastfeed. Why is it inconvenient? I think bottle feeding is much more inconvenient, sterilizing the bottles and getting the formula it's expensive. And then washing all the bottles and preparing the milk and eating it up. And it's a long process.

It can become very annoying, and it can actually affect the health of the child. I remember I saw this poster in a doctor's office, there was a picture of a baby. And he was looking up. And there was a statement formula with a question mark said no thanks. And there was a measuring tape around the belly of the child. Because apparently studies have shown that children who are exclusively or we are given more formula it affects their body so they're turning out to be more obese compared to others.

So breast milk is the natural food that Allah has given? Yes.

Yes, you may have studied, you may have heard, there are a lot of benefits for the child, as well as for the mother. It's the right of the child. It develops a close connection between the mother and the child as well.

I said I'm going to everyone. I did a project on this. And breastfeeding also helps in the mother's body. So the vagina gets back to its place. The elasticity comes back, the woman gets back to splits the body itself like the things that women really fear that the body gets back to its own shape. So the stomach goes back. It's so it's a very especially the body retains its so pre pregnancy hormonal levels. So it gets back the estrogen and progesterone they go back. So it's a very good thing for your body to actually breastfeed and all that fat that has accumulated in the mother's body or pregnancy. It will only go away through breastfeeding many times. Yes.

Exactly. The mother's milk has antibodies which are important for the child. We know many times when children are sick when babies are sick. The pediatricians they say that breastfeed on demand breastfeed as much as possible is better than any medication that you could give to the child.

Exactly, that we can take from, you know other things that Allah has created. For example,

You can take cow's milk and you can alter that you can make it such that it's suitable for an infant. But it can never ever be the same as breast milk. Never ever.

You know, the risk of the child that Allah has given it should be given to the child because that is best for him or her.

So make this a point because many women, unfortunately, they don't like it. Or they think that it's inconvenient. I remember this lady, she told me that she weaned her little baby who was barely a month or two old, because they had a lot of weddings coming up in the family. And she did not want that every few hours, you know, she's lifting up her dress, or you know, removing it or whatever in order to nurse the baby. So she said she found it too inconvenient. She didn't want to ruin her clothes. There were too many weddings coming up. So she decided, Okay, that's it.

That's not fair. Really, that's not fair.

It's not fair for the child.

And many times it happens that if a child has allergies, the child cannot even take formula. The only thing that the children can take is what? Breast milk, the mother's milk, that's it, I myself have seen some children who you put even a drop of milk on their face, they will have hives immediately.

You put a drop of cow's milk on their face, even they will have hives immediately. But they have their mother's milk and no problem nothing whatsoever.

You know, children cannot have egg, they cannot have dairy, they cannot have so many things. The way that they're getting their nutrition is only through the mother's milk.

So there is food in it, there is Chifa in it, there are so many benefits for the child in the mother's milk, that the child should not be deprived of it.

But if for a genuine reason the child has to be weaned, then remember, this is not something that is sinful.

Okay, if for a genuine reason, the child has to be weaned. Remember, this is not that a woman or the mother or the father are committing a sin, because in pre Islamic Arabia and even afterwards, it was a tradition amongst the Arabs, that they would send their infants to the desert to be nursed by wet nurses. Why? Because they would be in the desert the air, you know the food, it would be much better for the growth of the child and the child would pick up original fuss her Arabic That was also good for the child and we know that Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam even he as an infant, he was sent.

Right? So yes, it is the mother's Right To feed. It is the right of the child to be fed. But if circumstances don't allow, then remember there's nothing sinful.

Okay, what are little mo Ludi and upon Elmo, Lulu who may elude is from the root letter as well lambda Walder to give birth again and Mo nude is one who is given birth to while Id one who gives birth, Maloof one who is given birth to so who was murdered the child

okay, but mo Lord lo, the one for whom birth was given to meeting for whose sake, birth was given to who is this the father, because the Father Himself cannot give birth. Right? It is for his sake, that the child has given birth to by the mother, the mother herself cannot have a child in her womb just like that. No, the father has to be there to salute the who is who you can say the biological father.

Okay, so what I learned Malou dealer who why is this term used instead of wireless or something else, to show that

the father or the biological father is responsible for his children. He can't say, oh, you know, the mother is nursing. It's her problem. No, it is his problem as well. This is his child, or his daughter or his son. Because when it comes to nursing the child, many fathers they don't get involved in it at all.

They feel that Oh, I can't nurse so it's not my problem. No, it's your child. So it's your problem was well, this is why the Scholars have said that breastfeeding is an obligation upon both the mother and the father understood the mother but how the father, Allah says we're allel mo Lu de la who it is his responsibility to take care of what it is buena work is what to Hoonah the food of them have who have the mothers what GUESS WHAT WILL NOT and their clothing as well, meaning the father has to provide for the mother's food and the mother's clothing when during the nursing period.

So if, for example, the man and the woman they got divorced,

okay. The woman was pregnant, she gives birth the child is born. Now she's nursing the child and the child splits up a lot.

Every time she nurses, the child is trying to give him a birth and all her clothes are ruined.

So in one day, she goes through several outfits. Okay, so who's going to take care of that? She herself know who has to take care of that the father of the child, even though they're divorced, even though he's no longer married to the mother, yes, he still has to take care of that.

What about the food

to breastfeed properly, the mother has to eat very carefully.

If you want your child to become healthy, then you have to eat proper food, you have to eat very carefully, you know, things like fish and things like iron rich food or calcium rich foods, you have to eat that so that the child is nourished. So who's going to take care of that food again the father,

regardless of the marital status, okay, the father has to take care of the food and the clothing of the mother in the period of breastfeeding.

Kiswa is from the root letters, calf scene well, and this was clothing that is given to someone else. You may have heard of Kiss swab the Kaaba, because it's the cloth that is put on the Kaaba. Libous on the other hand, is what a person wears himself but kiss was what is given to someone.

Okay, so the father has to take care of the clothing of the mother as well, but how been marked off in a manner that is appropriate.

Meaning the woman should be reasonable in making her demands. Not that she's like, oh, I want nursing clothes, and I want this dress which is under dollars and I want this thing which is $400. And I want these many outfits and I want this food and that food, no, she should be reasonable in her demands. And the father on the other hand should be reasonable in his giving as well. That he should not say oh, you should make do with three shirts, you should make do with one nursing or buyer. No, he should take care of that in reasonable terms. How according to his ability. This is why Allah says lead to colorful nevsun No person will be burdened in law wasa except with its

capacity to colorful from calf land for the cliff to impose something on someone to make someone carry a burden of responsibility.

So no person will be made to bear more than their capacity was there while seeing I mean, what is what's the capacity, the ability of a person what they can do easily in normal circumstances.

So in other words, whatever the man can afford, he will give, if he can afford more, he will give more if he can afford less than what will he give? Then what will he give less, according to his means?

In Toronto, Paula chi number seven, Leon Fick Lusardi majority woman put it on La he does goofily on filming Tahoe, la, la, you can live Allahu nevsun Ilana

that led a man of wealth spend from his wealth and he was provisioned is restricted. Let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge us all except according to what he has given it.

Lautoka level nevsun Illa was our her now this obligation that is laid upon the father of taking care of the mothers food and clothing. This just shows how well aware Allah subhanaw taala is of the needs of the mother of the state of the mother and how much Allah cares about women.

Women get upset, we have no rights. I mean, look at this, the husband is already obligated to spend on the wife, isn't he? The clothe her to feed her. But when she is nursing, he has to become extra cautious. He has to provide for her even more. And those of you who are mothers who have breastfed children, you know what I'm talking about.

When it comes to nursing, you have another set of clothes altogether, you have a separate or via, right? Because women can't lift up their bias. So they have to get separate or bias different kinds of bias, you know, with buttons or zips or you know, front open whatever, so that they can nurse their children conveniently. I mean, that costs money, right? That costs likewise, when it comes to clothes, when it comes to food, she needs to eat more. Similarly, it happens that let's say the woman is nursing the child and there comes a month of Ramadan. And now what's going to happen? She's trying to fast and nurse at the same time, but she can't do that. So she has to give the she has to

give the video. So should the father not take care of that? Yes, he should. Because she cannot fast because she is nursing the child.

You understand how Allah takes care of women. This just shows the love that Allah has for the mothers. Because being a mother is not something easy.

It's something that demands

a lot from the woman, it's something very challenging for many women, they go into depression, despite the fact that they have a lovely child in front of them was smiling at them all the time. But still they go into depression.

So she needs that extra care, extra attention, extra love, and the husband should be careful about that.

My grandmother, may Allah protect her, she gave birth to 13 children,

Mashallah.

And

my mother, if she tells me about how, every day when her father would come back from work, he would bring something special for my grandmother,

even if it was just pop, or ice cream, or some fruit, something for her to eat, not because she needs to eat because she's hungry, but something that she will eat and to enjoy having.

What does that show the responsibility there that he takes seriously as a father.

So it's necessary that this etiquette be taught to men, those of you who have older sons, you teach your sons to take care of their wives, especially when they're expecting and especially at the time when they are nursing their children. They need these little things do you know be happy?

Yes, you can say, well, they have food, the frigerator is full. But it's a different thing. When you come home with a hot chocolate, you know, when you come with a soy or hot chocolate or something like that, she will like it. Why not?

It's a very nice gesture on the part of the husband. And he should do that, because it shows that he cares. It shows that he is concerned. But unfortunately, what's happening these days is that the Father is coming in between He's not letting the mother nurse the child, because it will affect her shape. Or, you know, she spends too much time in nursing the child. So he doesn't want that to happen.

This is shows that no one knows women better than the one who created them.

The husband, the father, he can never understand what the woman is going through when she's pregnant or when she's nursing because he can never experienced that himself. He can ever relate with it. What do men say? All women have babies, all women breastfeed? How is your pregnancy any different? How is your nursing any different? Why do you have to make such demands? A man can never understand who can understand only the Creator only Allah subhanaw taala.

And this is why he has revealed these verses to teach the men that you have to take care of her food, you have to take care of her clothing. And when women are pregnant, when they're nursing, they come so emotional, so touchy, they need that extra attention. And that comes from these little little gestures of just taking the woman shopping randomly and buying her a nice dress, a nice shirt. It helps the woman adjust to her new life because it's a huge change for the woman to become a mother.

It's a huge change for her. It's emotionally draining sometimes it's very challenging sometimes. So she needs that love and care and attention from the husband. And this just shows how loving Allah is that he is teaching the men that you have to take care of her food and her clothing.

Then Allah says Learn to borrow wisely that'll be one lady her

the mother will not be hurt because of her child she will not be harmed because of her child. And at the same time

well I'm Oh Lulu who be well, Edie, nor will the father be harmed through his child led to Barbara to dot from the letters Bhadra. Laura, Laura, what does it mean harm

and it's more severe compared to other other is this a slight harm, but bottle is more

so loud to Barbara Wellington. The mother will not be harmed be well already have because of her child or through her child while I'm O'Donoghue nor the father be heard. We went through his child.

What does it mean by this? That the mother will not be made to suffer because of her child and the father will not be made to suffer because of his job. For example, the mother, her clothing, her food, the father does not take care of it at all. And he knows that she loves the child so she will nurse the child anyway.

Right? She wants to nurse the child so she would nurse a child anyway. So yes, he can afford to give her more food to buy the food that she wants to buy her clothes, but he doesn't.

Because he says oh, she's gonna nurse a child anyway. So why should I bother?

Is she going to suffer? Yes, she will suffer isn't fair. It's not fair. Likewise, the father should not be hurt through the child either. How can the father be heard? For example, the mother she makes x

tournaments is like, Oh, he's supposed to spend on me. Let me just, you know, buy all the clothes that I want now, and I'll say, oh, I need it. And it's your responsibility to spend on me. Let me ask him to buy all this food for me and have a party for my friends. That's not fair. The father should not be harmed through the child. And especially in the case of divorce, because this verse also talks about in case of divorce, what happens right?

In the case of divorce, what happens?

The man and the woman, they blackmail each other through the child.

Okay? They get what they want from the other, and who do they use the child. If you want me to Breastfeed the child, then you better give me this much money every month. Otherwise, I'm sorry.

You can take the child yourself. And the father said, No, I can't handle an infant. I've never changed the baby's diaper. I can't do that. I don't live with my parents. So my mother can't help me, I'll have to take care of the child myself. So he knows that he will be in a difficult position. So he says, Okay, I'll give you this much money. So she is getting her way through by blackmailing the Father, how through the child.

Likewise, the Father, the divorce has taken place. He knows that the mother will take care of the child anyway, so he doesn't bother to provide for her at all.

So Allah says, Don't commit this injustice, don't use the child to take revenge. Don't use the child to take revenge or to inflict harm upon each other, the child should not get hurt in this process.

But unfortunately, in the case of divorce, who suffers the most the children, they are ignored the most, the mother and the father, they become so selfish, that they ignore the disregard what the poor children are going through.

Likewise, the mother may refuse to feed or the father may not allow that a child be fed, this is hurting the mother hurting the Father. Likewise, the mother may be forced to feed or the father may be forced to allow that the mother feed again, you're hurting the other.

So this should not be done.

What I learned when you see up on the air, who's air, the air of the father in the case where the woman is a widow,

now her husband died, her day is over when her child was born, all right. Now she has to nurse the child but she needs more clothes, she needs more food. In that case, who will take care of her needs? Allah says while werritty Miss Liu Dalek upon the air is a similar responsibility whose air the air of the Father

so in other words, the man's family will take care of the food and the clothing of the mother while she is nursing. That responsibility will transfer to the heirs off the dead men of the father. Okay, who could that air be? Could be his brother could be his father could be his uncle whoever okay. So they are to take care of the mother

for in order now if both of them intent or other for a while then who intends the mother and the father they intend fists all and weaning? Fell slaughtered lamb?

What does masala mean to separate for Salah to separate? fissile is the process of weaning when the child is taken off of breastfeeding when he will no longer be breastfed by the mother. Why is it called facade?

Why do you think it's called facade? What's the connection with the literal meaning of the word facade to separate Rizal weening? What's the connection between the meaning the literal meaning of the word facade from facade to separate? And the technical meaning of the word facade to win? What's the connection between weaning and separation? Yes.

Yes, because after weaning, the mother and the child are separated from each other. Many women, they miss breastfeeding, because when they were breastfeeding, their child was closer to them. Every time the child sees a mother, you know, he forgets everyone and he just focused on the mother, he will cry, he will smile, you will run to the mother so that he can be nursed. But when he is no longer nursed, then it's as though the mother doesn't exist

because he saw engrossed in his plane, right? Likewise, as long as the mother is breastfeeding the child, the mother does not spend much time away from the child. The maximum time she will spend away from the child is one hour, two hours, three hours, because then the child needs the milk. But then once the child is weaned, then she can be away from the child for half a day for an entire day. Some people believe their children and they go for Hajj. Right, and others are taking care of them. So for weeks

At times, so it does create a distance separation between the mother and the child.

So while you are nursing your child, enjoy that time because you will never get that time again.

So for in order for Saarland if the parents intend to wean, but this weaning should be how on top of all the min Houma what a showering. Look at this on the rollin ra board. Yeah Robbia to be happy to rollin mutual agreement, mutual consent, that both are happy with the decision both agree with the decision to wean the child

with a shower in the shower Shinwell off the shower is consultation,

that with consultation with discussion, both came to this agreement that yes, we should wean the child.

What does it mean? That the mother cannot just wean the child by herself,

she has to take the consent, the approval, the permission of the Father.

Likewise, the father cannot force the mother to wean the child, he cannot force her to wean the child, the mother has to be happy with that decision, she has to be okay with that decision.

Because sometimes women do is that they don't enjoy breastfeeding.

Because they have to breastfeed every hour, every half hour. And they said I can't do this anymore. But the husband wants that the child is breastfed. So what does the mother do stick in a bottle here and the bottle there until gradually the child doesn't want to nurse because obviously what he gets from the bottle is much more filling and much more in quantity. So eventually, the mother says to the Father, oh, look, he won't breastfeed anymore. And then he says, Okay, I guess we have to give him the bottle.

Is that fair? It's not fair. It's his child as well. It's his right as well, to decide if the child should be weaned or not.

And this especially is in the case of divorce, that even if divorce has taken place,

still, both will consult each other. And both will decide if and when the child will be weaned. Now imagine if after divorce, this has to be done. What about in normal situations?

What about normal situations.

So this shows that both the mother and the father have their right over the child, both of them have the right to decide how the child is going to be fed, how he is going to be taken care of. If, let's say he's going to be homeschooled, or if he's going to be sent to school with school. Both the parents have that right.

Because sometimes one parent, they take the lead and they ignore the wishes of the other parent. Let's say one parent really wants that their child should memorize the Quran in young age. But the other says no, no, no, I don't want it. Well consider the wish of the other consult, discuss and then come to an agreement, because it's not fair that one is just getting their way through and the other is wishes are completely being disregarded.

So both the mother and the father have rights over their children and the matters of the children should be decided how with the Rodan and the show wouldn't even after divorce

for Lagina Hurley generally human then there is no blame upon them to upon who to the mother and the father meaning if the decide to wean before two years and they do it with mutual agreement mutual consultation, then there is no sin upon them to

we're in autumn and if you intend understood the rule that you seek suckling for sterile Dhiru raw BloodRayne same route but it's still not is to seek on a bar to want that somebody else should nurse the child.

So, if you want that somebody else should nurse who are allowed to come your children phenomena has already come there is no sin upon you. Meaning is it okay if the child is nourished by someone other than the mother? Is it permissible? So for example, is it okay if the child is given a bottle? Is it halal? Yes. Is it okay if the child is breastfed by another woman? Yes, it is allowed it is permissible. Allah says follow dinar there is no sin. But there is one condition. And what is that? Either Salam tone, man, Tatum. When you have Salam you have submitted sin la meme Tasleem submission, meaning you have submitted you have given in full you have handed over what Matt Tatum

what you gave, meaning what you promised to give. In other words, when you pay the wet nurse

So in other words, if a woman other than the mother is breastfeeding the child, then she has the right to demand some compensation.

So for example, she says every week, I want $200. Let's say that sir, demand for the first six months $5,000, for example, because it is very exhausting. To exclusively nurse a child, it's not easy. You might say, oh my god, 5000, for milk that comes for free. Yeah. Because it's not easy to for the body to produce that milk. And also for the mother to constantly nurse the child, you know how many problems women develop like back pain, and they're sitting in awkward positions or lying down awkward positions, they're waking up every hour in the night, they can't do anything. They're nursing the child with one hand and cooking with the other hand, it gets very tiring and exhausting.

So if the woman demands something, the wet nurse and it's better to pay her because it's something that's mentioned in the Quran, then the father is responsible to give that money. The father is obligated to give that money, it has a long term, title, Bill maruf. Again, it should be in a manner that is appropriate. May not that the woman is being given very little money, she's been given $100 A month only. That's not fair. No. Likewise, Bill Maher off, it should be given in a manner that is approved, that give it immediately. Don't wait for entire year to pass and then you give her money. Or don't give her all the money and change. You know, you say Oh, I have a whole box full of change.

It's approximately $500. So here you go. And then she has to count all that change and make all the rules herself and go to the bank and deposit that carry all that heavy chain. No, don't do that please. maruf manner that is appropriate.

What the Kulla were Allahu Allah be Mirtha maluna mislead and fear Allah and know that whatever you are doing, Allah is watching it. Allah is watching you.

What are some of the reasons why a couple would go to a wet nurse. It could be, for example, the mother is unhealthy. I mean, she's not physically capable of nursing the child. Okay? Likewise, it could be that she's not producing enough milk for the child, her milk is not sufficient for the child, it's very common, very common.

She may be working, it might not be possible for her to Breastfeed the child, or they feel that, okay, the child has been fed for a few months. Now they want like, for example, in the urban society, they would send their child to the desert, because that was much healthier for the child. So for the benefit of the child for the benefit of the mother, okay, she may become pregnant again, she might have a huge family to take care of already. So she feels that if she's nursing more, it's affecting her bones, I know of women who are in their late 20s, but who have multiple children, and already they're developing arthritis. Already, they're developing, you know, weakness and bones and,

and all of that, why? Because, you know, first producing a child and your body in the nursing the child, it's a lot, your body is completely used up. So in that case, if she feels that she can't nurse the child anymore, then it's okay if the child is given to a wet nurse to be fed.

Okay. And these days, what is more common is what? formula milk? Okay? So there's no harm in that, as long as it is halal.

Yes, you have to check that too. Don't just think oh, any formulas halal? No, you have to check the ingredients to find out which one is best for your child.

So why are animals and Allah hubby method? Universal you know that Allah is watching everything that you were doing?

And women should you remember this? Because sometimes breastfeeding is very exhausting and very difficult. Very annoying sometimes. So remember, Allah is watching you. Every time you nurse your child, it's like sadhaka on your part. Is charity on your part?

So hope for award from Allah subhanaw taala.

Women who don't nurse their children at all, for no genuine reason? Is that a sin? Yes, according to many scholars, that is sinful. It is being sinful. Because there are some a hadith in which we learn about those women who did not nurse their children how they were being punished. The Prophet said a lot of them saw them when he went forward merit Lodge. So this is something serious that for no genuine reason the woman, you know, she refuses to Breastfeed the child. You know, breastfeeding is difficult, especially at the beginning. But the fact is that you have to put in that effort and eventually it will get easier. But if you don't put in that effort at the beginning, then yes, your

body will not produce much milk anymore. And these days are hamdulillah

You know there is medication available there's so many herbs out there you can take to increase the milk supply. So a person should take advantage of these.

For example, when the child was born there's a problem and if he breastfeeds it's not healthy for him it's not good for him. And it's possible then in that case yes the mother is not at fault she's not sinful for doing that

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So in summary, it's a very long verse. The first thing that we learned in this ayah is that all mothers, regardless of their marital status, are to breastfeed their children. And the maximum time period for that is how long do Luna years during this period, the father is responsible for taking care of the food and the clothing of the mother. Even if she is divorced, he is still responsible. And if they're married, he should take extra care of her clothing and her food, then the child should not be used to harm the other parent, the father and the mother should not use a child to take revenge. And both the parents they decide when the child should be weaned, the input of each

parent matters. And in the case where it is better that the child be taken to a wet nurse, then the father is obligated to pay her, he is obligated to compensate the wet nurse for having a nursing his child. Now, in the case of divorce, in the case of divorce, who takes the children

child custody who does go to according to our religion,

when it comes to child custody, the scholars are of unanimous opinion, this is unanimously agreed within them, that the mother keeps the children if they are below the age of puberty. So infant toddler, three years old, five years old, six years old, eight years old, who keeps a child, the mother, not just the age of puberty, but until the children reached the age of discernment, meaning they become mature, they're able to take care of themselves, who keeps them the mother, she has the greater right.

Unless she decides to remarry.

When she decides to remarry, get married to somebody else, then the father has the right to demand the children from her and she has to forfeit her right? She has to give the children to him. Okay, why? Why do you think?

Why do you think? Because if she is married to somebody else, then will she be able to take care of her children in the same way? No. If she has more children with her second husband, Then will she be able to establish justice between them? No, because she now has to be obedient to her husband, then her husband will come first and her children will come second. So there will be conflict of interest. Right? So she will not be able to give the help of her children. This is the reason why then the Father will have greater right. But in the case where let's say the mother is not let's say a righteous person, she's not a good person and the father fears for the lock for the education for

the Eman of his children. Then in that case, the matter will be taken to court the reasons will be given and the father he will have greater right over the children.

Okay, there have been cases where for example, the woman she gets married to let's say a non Muslim.

Okay. And she has a children now Father, he is a Muslim and he wants it his children should be raised as Muslims and it is a responsibility to protect the man of his generations. So in that case, he will have the right to take the children away from her. Okay, but let's say the woman

She has the children, and she decides to get married. And she feels that her ex husband is not really a righteous man, he is not a responsible father at all. If the children go to him, they will be neglected. Then in that case, again, the matter will be taken to court and who keeps the children, the mother even though she will get married to somebody else, because it is better for the children to be with her then with her father.

So several factors will be considered how responsible each parent is, how capable they are, and how religious they are and their circumstances as well.

Many times it happens that, you know, a child is being raised in a family where the father is step or the mother is step and what happens to the children.

I remember a lady once came up to me and she said, she said, I would never ever want that a child is raised under stepmother. That's the worst thing that could ever happen, because she was in that position. And she could not continue her schooling.

Yeah, she did not complete her schooling. I mean, even her high school.

She was treated like a servant in the house. So a lot of injustice is committed. So it has to be seen that who which parent is more capable. And this is decided by who? by the judge.

Okay, it's decided by the judge, not just the one who has more power, because sometimes people will kidnap the child and they will go to another country, and they will keep the child over there. And it's not fair.

If both parents remarry somebody else after the divorce and who has greater right, the Father, but if he feels that he will not be able to take care of the children, then they can come to an agreement that you know, the woman keeps the children. Or if the woman feels that my children are being treated in an unfair way, then she will take the matter to the court and she will get the children. Yes.

The different factors will be seen, I mean, where the children want to stay as well. But when the woman remarries, you remember her right to keep the children, you know it's gone, then the father has greater right. But obviously, there is room for other accommodations. Yes.

In the case where the woman refuses to give the children to the husband and where she is remarrying, then is that fair? It's not fair, she is being sinful. But if she fears for the o'clock, the Eman the education of her children that she knows that if my children go to their father, then they will not be raised as good people, then she has a right to fight over there in the court and keep her kids with her. Okay.

In the case where the father has died, he has passed away, then obviously the children will be with the mother. Okay. But the mother, she's not able to take care of the children. Okay, or she wants to get married again. And her new husband says, you know, you come to me, sorry, I can't take care of these children. So where do her kids go, she wants to get married, but where do her kids go? Then who will take care of them, the heirs of the father, his family will are responsible for them. So basically, your paternal relatives, okay, grandparents, uncles, and all they're responsible for the children.

If the children are taken away from the parent, with injustice, then that is a sin on their part.

That is a sin on their part. There have been cases where the mother she was pregnant when she got divorced. And the family of the mother, they said that we're going to get this child aborted.

And they have forced their way through and the child has been aborted, where the father wants the child. This is a sin. It's a murder, first of all, and it's a sin against the father that he's been deprived of his right to have children to keep his children.

And there have been cases where, okay, as soon as the child was born, they say either you keep the child or we're sending him off to an orphanage, because we don't want the child at all. This is injustice, not just against the other parent, but against the child.

The kids are not just the age of puberty, but it's the age of discernment, meaning they can live independently. So for example, a child is 18 years old, 20 years old, 19 years old, they can live on their own they are capable of doing that, for instance.

So if the children are at that age and they make their choice, they can live independently and they can even go to the mother or the father but mainly the mother.

Okay, but if obviously she decides to remarry, then the Father Yes. Mashallah. So many questions. I guess it's a big issue.

In the case where a woman got divorced, she wants to marry again. But the family says, if you get married, you don't know us anymore.

Then in that case, what does she do?

She gets help.

from, let's say the email of the masjid or some elders in the family and from the loss of Hannah Darla, that her family you know their hearts soften towards that marriage and they allow her to get married. Okay Subhan Allah will be handy going to show you a La ilaha illa Anta the stock Luca wanted to relate a salam Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh