Channel: Taimiyyah Zubair
Al-Ahzab 53-58 Tafsir 53
So this behavior of yours in Nadella can kinda you know, be you wasting your time. By staying back and talking aimlessly, this behavior of yours hurts the profits out of it.
And it also hurts the profits that allow the seller because you're in his house, preventing him from doing what he wants to do,
interfering in his privacy, preventing him from carrying on with his work. You're disrupting his privacy. You're bad etiquette, you're being inconsiderate of others. This hurts him in Nevada kokanee you know via and if you notice, and now v has been mentioned the profits or a lot of cinema has been mentioned his data has been mentioned to show that how can you hurt him? How could you causing distress? How could you do anything to annoy him?
And when you annoy him finance the human come? He feels shy from you.
Yes to hear her Yeah, yeah. Is to hear and what does is to hear me to have China's to feel shy. And out of that China's be unable to say something, be unable to do something.
So for us, the human come he feels shy from you, because of which he would never tell you to leave.
You ate and you're sitting talking away. But because the Prophet sallallahu Sallam was very shy, he would never ever tell you go home now please. Because he had very good luck.
In Allah, Allah, Hello Can Aleem. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam was a common nurse, the most generous of people, the most noble of all people. And a person who is generous and noble. He would never ever treat his guests with disrespect. He would never tell his guests, please leave now.
First the human come if you shy away from you. So even though he's getting distressed, even though he's hurt, even though he's annoyed, even though you're disrupting his privacy, he cannot carry on with his work because of you. He will not tell you to leave will love who is the human and health but Allah, He does not feel shy from truth.
He never refrains from speaking the truth, lay as the human and this is why Allah tells you to leave after eating.
Allah tells you that fadeout are into fantasy, because Allah does not feel shy.
Now, this ayah as I mentioned to you, was revealed with regards to a particular context, a particular incident that took place. Remember the total as of Sunday I asked her about the marriage of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam with Xena believe
it is recorded in a Bahati that is even Malik of the learn who he said that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam married Xena been Jewish with a wedding feast of meat and bread.
So what did he have to serve to the people? The walima What was the menu,
meat and bread, simple things, meat and bread. And he was a prophet of Allah. It does not have to be a lavish dinner. It does not have to be very lavish menu, that you have multiple meats. You have chicken and you have fish and you have beef and you have lamb and you have gotten you have every type of meat that's possibly eaten in your culture, you have everything. This is not necessary. Even one type of meat is sufficient.
And in fact, having different types of meat in the same plate in the same meal is something that is disliked. Because this is a sign of kibble. This was a part of arrogance. Previously, I remember somebody was telling me that the Muslims in India, they used to have this particular dish that was prepared only for the king, only the king would eat it and what was it that the chef he would boil an egg and he would put it in the quail. And the quail will be put in the chicken and the chicken would be put in the in a goat or lamb or something and that would be cooked together.
And who would eat it.
Only the king nobody else but the king. Because different meats you have right and different meats on the same table on the same plate in the same meal is a sign of kibble is a sign of you know greatness that look we can afford so much meat, so much variety.
And sometimes unfortunately at weddings, this has become a tradition that you have to have every type of food. Now it's good that you're trying to entertain as many people as possible. You want to make them comfortable that whatever they like they can eat. However, you also have to see what you can afford, what you are able to offer and offer the food that will be consumed, not so much food that will be wasted.
So we see that the profits or losses and what did he have on his reliever, meat and bread, two things
So and so the learner who he was told to invite people to the feast,
remember that he was a young boy who would serve the prophets of the Lord center. So he was told to go and invite the people to the feast. And some people came and ate and they left. Then another group came and ate and left. And and so the Lord has said that I invited people until there was no one left to invite.
So he went around Widener, inviting people come and eat. The thing is that when you have too much food, then you have to pay a lot, isn't it? each play, it costs a lot of money, which restricts the number of people that you can invite, isn't it? So? Think about it. It does. It restricts the number of people that you can invite. However, if you have a simple menu, good food simple menu, then can you invite more people? Definitely, you can write more people. And the more people you invite, the more happy they are. Think about it all those people who come to your wedding who have come to your wedding, or who've come to your sisters or brothers wedding or something like that. Weren't they
happy that you invited them? And if by chance you forgot one person, she just happen to forget them? Do they still remind you till today? Perhaps they do.
So if you have a simple basic menu, you can afford to invite more people the prophets have a lot of enemies and and so they are no went around the streets of Medina looking for people have you eaten Have you eaten, and he kept on sending people who kept on eating and leaving.
And then he went to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and said O Messenger of Allah, I cannot find anyone else to invite. That's it. I cannot find anyone else to invite to then the Prophet sallallahu Sallam told him, take away the food when you take the food and distribute it or eat yourself. And he said that there was three people left who were talking in the house. Three people, they stayed in the house and what were they doing? They were talking. And the prophet SAW a lot of sentiment he went out until he came to the apartment of Arusha to learn him. Because this feast was were in the house of Xena but the learner
and where was she in her house? The new bride she's in her house. But because of these people the profits on a lot of them cannot go to her cannot be with her, cannot have privacy with her to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam to show to him to the people. What did you do? He left them. He went to dinner in his house, her her apartment? And he said, I said Mr. La come and invade what I have to learn what to do. And she said, and upon you the peace and the mercy of Allah, how did you find your new wife, oh, messenger of Allah. And the Prophet sallallahu Sallam went around to the apartment of all of his wives. And he spoke with them just as he had spoken with Russia. And they asked him the
same question just as she had asked him. Now imagine all of them, he went to each and every single one of them he visited. And when he came back, the people were still talking in the house. Those three people were still sitting.
And the profits that Allison was extremely shy. So he went out and headed towards I showed it on his apartment again.
He was so shy, he didn't say anything to them. He went he left again. And then after some time, those three people left. And so the law he went on, till the profits of those three men have left. So then he went to his inappropriate hour.
So just imagine the people what do they do those three men, they stayed in the house, they're talking and talking and talking, the food was served. So many people came and ate. The food was wrapped up, even it was sent out it was sent away even But still, they didn't get it. And they were sitting and talking at so much time was taking the profits on a lot of them. He was hurt. He was shy. He was harmed. But he didn't say anything. So Allah subhanaw taala says over here in Nevada, calm Can you then obeah faster human calm, will love would lay us to human will help. Allah does not shy from the truth. This is why he's telling you leave after you have eaten.
Now, what do we learn from this?
What are the various etiquette that we learn? When visiting other people's houses? When meeting other people for certain occasions? What do we learn? If you think about it, people get together for various purposes, isn't it? Especially when there's food?
Like for instance, when do people get together? At what occasions
or eat Okay, what else? weddings What else?
If thought that sometimes like for example when it comes to if you have to invite someone then you have to have multiple course meal, right? You have to have the appetizers. Then you have to have the main meal and then you have to have the dessert and you have to have the tea. Now think about it. You're fasting. The host is also fasting
Isn't it? And for them to prepare all that food isn't going to take time for them? Of course it will isn't going to affect their other, of course, will they be able to go further away?
Will they be think about it when they're exhausted after serving you? Will they be able to go? No, the thing isn't we've made our culture is such that we have to have lavish amount of food, we have to have a lot of variety. And it has to be served in a particular way at a particular time in which we complicate our lives. So much time is spent on this, which could be spent on other necessary more important things. Right? So people get together for various purposes. And this ayah tells us that when we go to somebody's house, or to any place that somebody invited us, how should we go? First of all, what do we learn from this, I
only go when invited.
Because sometimes it happens that we hear that also enjoys having a party, so and so is calling people over, let me just go as well. If they've invited you only then go. And if you happen to have been invited, but you have some people with you and you would like to take them with you, then what should you do? seek permission from the host first. Because it's quite possible you are in a situation where you have to take those people along with you. So in that case, seek the permission of the host. So first of all, go invited only. Secondly, what do we learn from this era? arrive on time, do not go too early, and do not go late, rather go on time. Because if a person goes as an
uninvited guest, and if he goes late, or if he goes early, then he's definitely definitely going to cause inconvenience to the host, isn't it?
And that occasion, which was supposed to bring happiness may bring a lot of distress to the host, isn't it
that was to bring you closer together is perhaps going to create distance between the two of you.
So go on time. What else do we learn from this ayah?
If you're going otherwise, to somebody's house, you haven't been invited, but you want to go for some work of yours and business of yours. When should you go at a time when people are not eating? Okay. Now, you were invited. You went on time after that? What do we learn, eat and be concerned about leaving? Now whether this is a wedding, or somebody's house, or a party at an institute, any place? What should we be concerned about eating and leaving?
Because sometimes what happens if we eat and stay there hanging around, then the people they have to wrap up, they have to close the place. And sometimes at weddings, what happens? People don't leave? And the management is getting so worked up? That when will they leave so that we can close? And sometimes literally on some invitation that has been said 6pm to 9pm? When it says 9pm? Then you should be concerned about leaving by 9pm?
What else do we learn that once you've eaten, then don't stay back for talking.
The thing is that you have been invited to somebody's house and they serve you food you've eaten whatever you have to talk about. You've spoken about that already. Now, at the time of leaving, you should seek permission from the host. Okay, you should seek permission from the host. Now I should get going, may I leave now. It doesn't mean they're just get up and walk out. You should definitely seek permission from them because it's a part of observing good etiquette.
And you don't have to say, okay, should I go now? Did you have anything else? Don't do anything like that. Don't say anything like that. Just say that and hamdullah we've eaten now we should get going. You also have work to do. We should also do something important. JazakAllah fair for inviting us and continue.
If they want you to stay, that's different. Like I mentioned to you, that if the schedule is such that you were served food first and you're expected to stay afterwards that's different. But sometimes the host says out of the candle, making it difficult upon themselves out of pretension that pretending to be good. That No no, don't go right now, let's say let's talk. But think about it. If you have something important to do. Will you be able to sit and hang out and talk endlessly? Will you be you will not be able to? You see a believer is a purposeful person. He has a purpose in his life. He cannot spend 568 hours on just one party. No, it's impossible.
The party's about what just having food you went you ate Okay, now get to some work. Do something now. How can you spend half your day all of you
Dangerous one occasion one party, this is not correct. So even somebody stopping you Don't go, don't go, don't go, maybe they're just saying out of courtesy. But you should show your concern about leaving.
And you should put yourself in the shoes of the host Think about it, they have been preparing, they have been working. And when you leave, they have to do the work as well. And if they want you to stay the minute stay, but if you can see the fatigue on their faces, then get going.
depends on who's telling you to stay because sometimes the men say Oh, sit, sit, sit and the women, they're worried about wrapping up. So it really depends on who's telling you to stay.
And if you do happen to stay behind, you may offer to help them wrap up. And one thing that we should be very careful about is that sometimes, you know, people invite you for food, don't go start commenting on the food endlessly. Because sometimes people keep commenting on the food, they keep talking about the food, making the horse so conscious that they're wondering what's wrong. What did I do wrong? You know, is it okay? Already, they're so worried. Maybe they've cooked that particular food the first time. So don't comment endlessly just say Alhamdulillah good food. And that's it.
And sometimes, not just during the party, but even after the party, what do people do? They talk about the food, they will write about it, they will tweet about it, you know, post something on the internet about it, during the whole world about what they eat and what they didn't like and what they like, Good thing you want to tell the people but only share good things.
One more thing that we learned from this is that if the guest is told that eat and leave, then what should the host do?
They should also spend less time in preparing the food. Because sometimes a whole day is spent in just preparing the food.
And when you have spent the whole day preparing the food, then you want the guests to stay for a very long time, isn't it?
If you look at it, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Who Was he an extremely busy person, wasn't he? He had a big family a huge responsibility. And Korea entertained so many people for so long. Was it possible for him? No. And many times what happens that people who are important, people love to spend time with them. People love to talk to them. People love to go to their house and see what they're doing and speak to them and talk to them. But the thing is that it's quite possible that you trying to sit with them and talk to them. You're wasting their time sometimes. Right? In the sense that you're talking to them about things that are not as important and they have a lot of work to
do. You yourself must have experienced this at since you started this course you have your lesson, do you have your assignment? Do you have your readings to do? And if people come in, they start talking to you or they talk to you on the phone? What do you want? Hang up quickly, isn't it and you only want to talk about things that are important and necessary. And that's it.
So in radical candor, you know, it hurts the profits. He was a busy person, he had many important things to do. So if a person is concerned about his time himself, then he will also be concerned about the time of other people, isn't it?
Now one more thing about talking at gatherings at parties that other people tells us typically what happens, people are eating, and they're talking or after eating, they're sitting and talking.
And who do people typically talk to
those whom they know only. And if there's a person whom they do not know, they will not even read them, they will not even look at them, they will not even speak to them. Whereas How should a person be he should speak to everybody? Right? Sometimes people go and sit completely isolated, as if they had a fight with someone that they're sitting all by themselves, eating quietly, sitting quietly, not talking to anyone This is also inappropriate, you have been called to a social event. Why? to socialize, not to become antisocial over there. So when you've been invited to socialize with people, then you should socialize with people, sit amongst people with people, talk to them.
And don't just talk to certain people, but talk to everybody. Similarly, don't just sit in one place. But try sitting in different places. You understand, like for instance, one time you go get your food, you go get a drink for yourself, go sit at one place, you go get some bread for yourself, go to another place, you might find out so much potential people around you, you might you know, make new friends, make new connections, benefit people or you might benefit from them. So these events are not just for eating, what are they for socializing as well.
And sometimes what happens is that one person who you do not know, most of the people do not know what happens they get completely naked.
Did completely ignored.
It's amazing how sometimes, let's say if a girl gets married, she's been invited by some family, friends from her in laws. She goes there, she doesn't know anybody. And all the people there sitting and talking, and the daughter in law, the new bride, she doesn't know who to talk to or what to talk about. And she's sitting isolated, silent, quiet, and everybody's busy in their own conversations. And what was a party about the new bride who was ignored? She was ignored, isn't it so many times this happens, this is also inappropriate.
So when a person has been invited to such a gathering, what's the objective socialization. And when you socialize with people, be moderate. Don't be excessive, that you don't want to leave. And don't go to another extreme that you don't talk to anybody or you only talk to people that you know.
So, well long as the human will help Allah He does not shy away from the truth. This is why he has given us these rulings, these teachings, these etiquettes and we have to observe them.
Well, yes, the ultimate one, and when you ask them, when you ask the wives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when you have to ask them about what Matan about some goods, about some benefit. The word matar applies to anything that is useful. It can apply to clothes, it can apply to money, it can apply to food, it can apply to utensils, equipment, tools, different different things, anything that is useful.
So those have already been addressed. That if you have to ask the wives of the prophets on a Monosodium for some matar, meaning something that you need, something you wish to borrow something you wish to ask about? Then how should you ask in what way first alumina? Then you should ask them. Meanwhile, a hijab from behind a veil, meaning from behind a curtain from behind a screen in the first part of the ayah. What has been mentioned when you're invited to the house of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam for an occasion.
Now this part of the eye talks about you're not invited, you're not invited. There's no event, there's no special occasion.
But you have a question to ask one otherwise of the profits.
You wish to borrow something from them? You need something from them. So when you go and ask how should you ask from behind a screen from behind a curtain, meaning there should be a partition between you and them.
There should be a partition between you and then this hijab, remember, because hijab is used for a screen of veil, something that prevents people on either side from seeing one another.
We understand a hijab was like a curtain when you have a curtain. If you're in one side, can you see the other side? No, the person on the other side can see you know they cannot see you. So the purpose of this hijab is what segregation
Okay, it is to screen off. This hijab over here does not mean that they should be wearing him off. They should be wearing a headscarf, they should have their face covered, or they should be wearing hijab. This hijab does not mean this hijab over here means literally a curtain.
And what does this indicate segregation? That even if you have to ask them about something, don't ask directly face to face. How should you ask from behind a veil? Meaning there should be segregation
vanagon that Oh, you are? Alcohol is pure. It is cleaner localu become for your heart worker Rubina and also their hearts. What is pure for your hearts and for their hearts, having segregation having a screen between you and them.
Remember that the wives of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, whenever they would go out after the revelation of this ayah they will go out, for instance, in hell dodge. What's the holdup like a small something that's put on a camel in which a woman would sit into that she's veiled from all sides, you understand?
So whenever they would travel, they would travel in something like this. They wouldn't just sit on the camel or the horse and be wearing a job in a club or something like that. No, they will be literally sitting in there. And after the revelation this ayah screens were put curtains were put at the doors of their houses.
So that if somebody had to ask something they couldn't look inside. And if the wives the profits are allowed, and we're talking to the men who were outside, there was still segregation. So Allah subhanaw taala says that their legal autonomy could have become more could have been
And it hasn't been said don't talk to them. It hasn't been said you're not allowed to ask them what has been said when you do ask them, make sure you're in segregation.
And the reason behind this is because it is pure for your heart and also for their hearts what is called refer to the Sahaba. Those who are asking who the Sahaba those people have this oma who had the purest of hearts, isn't it? Their hearts were the cleanest. If you compare the heart of any Sahabi to the heart of any person today, whose heart is cleaner, whose heart is pure, their heart, the hearts of the Sahaba will they learn who?
Well cannubi hin who does Hindi refer to the as vital to Herat, those who are being asked those who are being questioned. And again, these women were the most chaste of all women. If you compare the wives of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam with any other woman who is more chaste, who is more chaste,
the mocha Herat, who are more righteous hormone pious