I Am Not Going To Give You The Hand Of My Daughter

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Said Rageah

Channel: Said Rageah

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Happy

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Happy

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Happy

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salatu salam ala rasulillah

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Marine

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once again

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welcomes you to another lecture

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in our conference the name of the conference this year is the rescue boat, this is a second day

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and this is going to be the fourth lecture inshallah Allah the name of the lecture as you have seen in the schedule

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is

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I am not going to give you the hand of my daughter

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and inshallah tala, you are going to get the explanation of that by Sheree that I get for you to follow

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my journey

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in handling the

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men who want to sell you know who want to sell fetal

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tissue rhodium fusina women say Marina

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Romani, Oberlin parentage De La Hoya de and murshida

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Russia

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Russia

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Russia one no Mohammed Abu hawara soon

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yeah, you

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con la Hakata Kati Morton Illa one two Muslim moon

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chakra Bakula de hakomi nevsun wahida

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wahala Caminha, Xhosa.

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Min humare, john and Kathy, no one is

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ready to be one

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In no more Hakuna cumbre

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de

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la ku de la Kamala

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woman in

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law

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Mohammed bin Salman law

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more data to have a column in beta

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in

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the title

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all the lecture

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is

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masina you

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this lecture

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it's talking about

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why would a father

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a decent father?

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Why would he reject someone who came to propose to his daughter?

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What are the reasons

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and now we're going to talk about two things we're going to flip

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things around.

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We're gonna talk about a good father

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and a loser who came to propose his daughter.

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And the other side, we will talk about

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a young righteous man

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who came to propose to a young lady whose Her father is a loser.

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I'm also going to talk about

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boys

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for not so great

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and girls

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for not so great themselves.

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But before we do this,

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I want to address main point as a foundation of this talk

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and inshallah we can build everything on this.

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First of all,

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when we look into the concept of marriage,

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what is it?

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Is marriage a test?

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Is marriage a trial?

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is married fun.

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What is

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first thing

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is responsibility.

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There

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is responsibility.

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Now,

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based on how responsible or responsible you are as a young man or younger, a young lady,

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the success of the marriage relies on that.

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For example, I travel a lot, I travel the Middle East, I go all over Europe, Asia, one thing that everybody has in common

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boys, no offense,

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you will always find the majority of the boys are losers.

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where the majority of the sisters

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are successful.

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Now, we have a ratio 70% of the girls doing a great job, in school, in the dean in the daily life. When we have Islamic event, we have the sisters who coming out, you know fought for us, you know do want to volunteer, they want to do something and only 30%

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of the boys are the same caliber.

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When it comes to education, same thing when it comes to responsibilities, the same thing.

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And I always wonder why

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men supposed to be the leaders right

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right boys

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well that's what I was talking about

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our

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men's was to be the one who's leading the Who's he should be the captain.

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And not nowadays. Like I want to sound with him

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and

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you will find most like, by the way in Saudi over 80% of the sisters

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highly educated

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over 80%

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and the other hand boys 80% of them are losers Mashallah

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you know, it's so unique.

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Even the government, they understood that so as soon as they finished high school, the government would do something called the bar

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i guess is what they call

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so this okay, you finish your high school. Great

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weekend gonna give you a test. And based on this test

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you will see we will see we can accept in universities on

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this test for the girls, it's only one time

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one time

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for the boys three times

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what does that show

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he'll come and he will write the test and he will flunk and then they give him another chance and he will flunk will give a third chance and they say well you are permanent loser so go home

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as for girls, it's one time

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if you do well okay you know you go to university and so on.

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And then when it comes to work force

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girls they have decent job

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boys on the other hand

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and then the girls now they making so much money because the degrees are higher and they want to educate where the boys are barely making anything

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so the girls basically have law in the middle

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of

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it works the other way around.

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Now why is that? Because another way in Canada I don't know about Denmark, but in Canada is the same thing. Boys a Marcia lots of Attica law they are nowhere to be found was girls extremely successful.

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So we went to number one, talk about some foundation that is necessary for us. And from there, inshallah we will move forward.

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First of all, and I want you to keep in mind we're gonna be talking about a loser young man and a loser.

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a loser young man with a decent father, proposing in the father of the young lady and a loser father with a decent young practicing, man.

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First thing that we need to acknowledge is

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marriage is nim.

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By the way, let me ask this question.

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If you are married, raise your hand

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Masha Allah all five of you are here Mashallah.

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If you may raise your hand sisters

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they're less Subhana Allah

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Hassanein.

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Man is counting

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which one is available the one with the pinky jab punch. Ah, she's gonna raise her hand. I'm just kidding. I don't see any pink

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right.

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Now Okay, so

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now since this is good, since you're not married, then you would end this please you can grasp some of the things that I will be talking about inshallah later.

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So the word itself or the mirror itself is a nightmare from Allah subhana wa Tada.

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And this Nima as Allah subhana wa tada said in the Koran, the who were lady and shall commit enough sin Why?

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Allah, Allah has created from one single soul.

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Now in this soul Allah May a mate as I stated also inserted Anissa

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in this mate The purpose of this person is to find something called

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a sticker on his

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conference

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sticker on his nice piece to find in the person that he meant whether is he or she

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since Allah has greeted us from one original soul Adam because our was created from Adam

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alone at the same time gave us very unique responsibility but at the same time complimentary

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it helps a complete the other end of the party

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now from this

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yes we were created differently but we work with complements one another Be it needs to panel let's add

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this compliment is one of the greatest names of a law one of the greatest blessings of Allah subhanahu wa tada in the loss of her know what Tiana mentioned, that he gave us and one of the greatest nierman that Allah gave us as brothers and sisters is to find or give us mates or husbands wives or spouses

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or loss of Hanover, Tana Fillion rural insulinoma Hola. Hola. kamina in Dhaka?

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What

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a complete one another from the back of the man from the womb of the mother, that this is what create a manatee and allows them to continue with this.

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And then Allah subhanho wa Taala said in the Quran, when law Giada come in and foresee come as Raja Raja min as

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Allah said, I like reading you have on yourselves needs spouses, wives, and from these wives, Allah gave you many will have children and grandchildren.

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So, this is an acknowledgment that we need to acknowledge and understand that marriage is anathema. Okay.

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The other thing that we need to understand what we should ask ourselves, what are the wisdom behind marriage?

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Why do we need to get married?

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Why?

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What is the purpose of getting married? Why did Allah subhanho wa Taala create us differently at the same time completely completely one another? What is the wisdom The first is

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to have what is the first thing offspring

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to allow our race to continue? Because without us marrying one another, then our race will not continue you will come to an end. And this is panela One of the things that are loss of Hannah Montana, one of the purpose

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not only that if What if Allah

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Allah subhanho wa Taala

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said and he mentioned anybody who tampers with VAT or creates who human being from any other in any other way other than that legislated way, then Allah subhanho wa Taala will consider that as one of the greatest sin which is facade

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tressa filler.

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Okay.

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The second thing which all of you, I think we were thinking about it first, to be first is the physical enjoyment. Right?

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Is the physical enjoyment. And this is a new

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this was the last panel with Anna This is the purpose that this is like a reward for you for us coming together and creating a third human being. Imagine

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if getting married was painful.

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Imagine

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if

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Getting married and being with your spouse was as painful as death, how many of us would get married?

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None of us

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imagine if getting married and being with your spouse is like delivering a child.

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Right?

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None of us would ever get married, but a lot of meeting enjoyable.

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enjoyable, because we don't think about the aftermath. Women don't think about the pain of delivering a baby. But at that moment, all they want to do is be with their spouses. This desire inbuilt human need is from Allah it is not something that we fabricate. It's not something that we try ever or put effort in so we can have that feeling. No, it's something that is in us.

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So we fulfill and need that was part that is part of us and Allah subhana wa tada created in us.

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Allah subhana wa tada said in the Quran, from zaidan minha is a virgin aka Kenya last Hannah said when they are talking about z and his wife. He said when Zaid and his wife enjoy themselves, then after they got divorce, we marry you, oh Mohammed to that wife. Now here Allah is telling us that marriage or being with your spouse, is something that we physically and mentally enjoying the evening subhanho wa Taala.

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The third thing

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is for us to reach

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perfection or a perfect status in terms of human perfection.

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We know

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how so? See when you marry someone? Why do you marry this sisters? Why do you marry a loser? For example? Why does this is me a man?

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Because they want someone to complete their life sit by this Why do marry the sisters? They sometimes it loses themselves. Why? Because you want someone to complete you

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in everything, like

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their only physical enjoyment. But you need someone who you feel comfort in his presence or her presence.

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Am I right?

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But most of you will know because you're single right?

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came back to him.

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One of the things that you find in marriage is peace of mind.

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If you don't know

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that's a different level. If you marry a lot healthier.

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But if you marry someone that is intelligent, intelligence smart, rational, at the same time, beautiful, is great. If you marry someone who's not rational, oversensitive at the same time, ugly May Allah help you.

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That's all I can say. May Allah help you

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know, this? perfection the human perfection is what we need in our life. Like look at messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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When he used to come home, what does he used to do?

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He used to help his wife, clean the house

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with his wife, you know, sweep the floor, do his own things, fix his shoes.

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And at the same time, talk to her. He used to talk to her. And they used to enjoy their company. Some of the long run he was one of the Alolan. Remember Hades? Ayesha, the messenger overlord used to listen to her talk when she's talking about what she was talking about the hadith of 11 women who you know, decided to get together and you know, technically backed by their husbands

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because this was from the stories of the past

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and he lists

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So, this is called finding that

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perfection in life.

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You see, how do you know like for example, we as guys, we can tell the sick single brother from the married brother.

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And we can tell the one was married to a righteous woman. And the one was married to our wife. We can tell as soon as they come to the masjid or come to my office, if he's frowning. And you know, he's all his phobias, wrinkly and his face and his beer one hairs looking this way and the other has looking down way. And he's cool. He is tilted to the side, we say T. V is given

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as given

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by

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when we see a brother

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who's wearing, you know, a green Kushi

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and a white throw underneath that white soap yellow t shirt.

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And Air Jordan, we know he's single.

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Because he has no taste

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and dressing himself. So we know he's single. I'm sure the sisters on the other side they know the processes. I think the sisters who are single is different from the brothers who are single.

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Because especially when they single, they dress nice, right?

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They have fake eyelashes. You know, they look like this like no they flying Mashallah, you know, and you have that hijab and the pin, forget about the hijab, the pin is saying hi to you is talking to you. They have this shining pin. And you know, it's so as soon as she gets married,

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I think is like someone died.

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And her gene Barbie has a little Porsche. How can

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How can you know? Everything?

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And so what happened?

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And the mother's day No, as soon as they come out of the mystery, if she's not color coded, and she's all over the place they know she's married.

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And the single sisters, they always nice.

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I concern brother

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the merry one, Salaam Alaikum zoom, how bonus.

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Cash

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is a kid away.

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It's given straightforward

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either on the phone, you can tell the single sister from the merits.

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The brothers they try. They tried their best, but they miserably fail all the time.

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For us, he tried to be soft. And then this is like behind us to get our Cisco get online or something.

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It doesn't work like that for us.

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Also from the other profession, other things that it gives as

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a complete in your life in terms of financial.

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As soon as you get married

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then Allah will bless you with wealth. Right?

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Can you brothers?

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Again, a single one bhaskara is always taking the bus. You know he's calling someone can you give me a right? As soon as he gets married? He's driving nice car.

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In Denmark, there are not too many nice cars.

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Not too many have been looking around. I couldn't tell the single from the retirement from the you know, from the one who is looking out for the hunting guy. None of that. They all drive in red Honda.

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In America and Canada.

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You know, he's driving nice cars especially when the brother he's in he has a job and he's looking out for you know he wants to get married and you see him the brother Mashallah he gets this little nice car and he's always first first in the musty

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form for Allah. Well, he wants to park right at the sister's entrance. So the sister can see his car when they coming up. Oh god.

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Mashallah.

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Dr. Zhang.

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But maybe when you get married, Allah bless you with wealth. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala.

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Am Masada him in a radical Enugu for ora Yoni whom a moment for me, say allow them to get married because as soon as they get married, then Allah subhana wa Tada. We're blessed them with wealth. So a lot of young guys will, you know, struggle

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Financially if you want a lot to give you more money, then get married.

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And this is what I used to say if you weren't allowed to short with you with wealth

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then have more children

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and marry more wives.

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So you knew the first one

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she's like on fire Mashallah she makes you more

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prone poor

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second one

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can you are Mashallah human third one, Allahu Akbar, you get the fourth why'd you become rich.

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But of course, the first one will kill you.

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Also, one of the benefits of marriage is

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to find the perfect

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the perfect man or a perfect spouse who can help you. cover you with what? happy with everything

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healthier with raising children, for the case of sisters, you know, bite sisters.

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So many men do not know how to help their wives.

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gonna change his diaper, he stinks. What is your boy see your son?

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Right?

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We don't do this, especially those who came from back home, and they fresh.

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When the boys goes to the bathroom, he's going out of the house, because he doesn't want to touch him.

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But in according to this nomic principle, according to the sonic teaching, I should say and should help we should help each other because we complete one another.

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Also, one of the other reasons is, again, sometimes financially, the sisters they don't have to, but sisters, they contribute to the need of the house. So we have that you know, extra help from the sister site by

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how do you choose the right person?

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How do you choose that?

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So remember that title was in into my head

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right.

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Now, when it comes to this, right now, you want to go to a person

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who will say yes, but first you have to know what you want. So what do you look for?

00:33:05--> 00:33:08

What is the first thing? How many of you will say d?

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c?

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And

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D

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but some of the owners said no. The first thing that you should look for

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because Dean to them was given we'll also talk about Dean is the man then the nature of the person

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and nature of the purse and the quality of the person

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is this person good person?

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Right so you you may find some people who Mashallah practicing Islam, but they are little devils, you might find that

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they look into the nature of the person is he from a good nature.

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He was a nurse

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in Germany

00:34:07--> 00:34:12

he's a people like a miracle like minerals like gold and silver.

00:34:13--> 00:34:20

They have qualities. And you have one like for example, some of them, mine, my congregation.

00:34:21--> 00:34:42

Some of the people, some of the young guys. He has beer and he has a little fob and he has little miswak on his pocket, you know from outside is a perfect Muslim, but I will not even trust him with my shoes. getting along with my daughter on someone's someone else daughter. And some guys, you know they're not there yet.

00:34:43--> 00:34:45

But they have good nature.

00:34:47--> 00:34:48

They have good nature.

00:34:50--> 00:34:59

Good manners. He's responsible. You asked him to do this. He will do it perfectly. He will also you know he would

00:35:00--> 00:35:06

initiate the hell and you will do what is necessary to be done without you asking.

00:35:08--> 00:35:11

This these are the type of people that you should look for

00:35:13--> 00:35:19

like sisters when you're looking for someone you know don't let the little little coffee fooled you

00:35:20--> 00:35:22

because some of them

00:35:23--> 00:35:23

like

00:35:25--> 00:35:36

the empty form inside empty shell from outside, they are perfect Muslims. He goes to the masjid Mashallah and you don't know what they do in the masjid

00:35:37--> 00:35:44

most of the time, the boys they talk in the hallways and that's and luncheon in the midst

00:35:45--> 00:35:51

are they sitting outside and chit chatting or the you know you know text messaging someone who's right next to him in

00:35:52--> 00:35:54

a useless

00:35:55--> 00:36:04

not that the shell is not the outer you know external thing is internal is really easy about

00:36:06--> 00:36:20

how we respond how responsible is he and likewise the sisters. Some of the sisters Mashallah their Deen is thick. After the gin bar, there's no Deen

00:36:21--> 00:36:29

serious there's nothing. So you look into the mud and you look into the nature of that person. for

00:36:31--> 00:36:31

them.

00:36:33--> 00:36:36

They say you know sort of La there's this lady.

00:36:37--> 00:36:46

She fast, very fast. She gets up. She prays all night long. She does everything according to Islam.

00:36:47--> 00:36:57

Then move on is evil. She always hurt other people and her neighbors are not safe from her. He said she is in Johanna.

00:36:59--> 00:37:21

Snell what she does outside is where she is where she was. And I said but we have so one song she doesn't give so she doesn't play other than the photo and she doesn't you know, fast other than the photo, right? But her family, her relatives or neighbors are safe from her tongue. He said she is from a halogen.

00:37:22--> 00:37:38

She's from a halogen. So we snapped the outside Dean is the actual person is the nature of that person. And only the nature of that person can tell the person who he is or she is.

00:37:42--> 00:37:44

Remember, when

00:37:46--> 00:37:47

almost slain You know,

00:37:48--> 00:37:49

when our

00:37:51--> 00:37:59

long run, she heard that almost Celine is ready for marriage. So he ran because she knew she is a fine lady.

00:38:00--> 00:38:02

And then when he came to her,

00:38:03--> 00:38:07

and he proposed her what she said, she said I cannot marry you

00:38:09--> 00:38:09

in the camera on

00:38:11--> 00:38:16

your cabinet and I'm a Muslim, I cannot marry you we cannot be married to one another.

00:38:17--> 00:38:21

That is another reason. The reason that you rejected me in the hallway

00:38:22--> 00:38:37

is because gold and silver she say no ally. This is a man like you should not be denied. However, you are careful. If you want to become a Muslim, then that is my darling. That is my mother.

00:38:39--> 00:38:56

She She was looking as well the other side on the flip side. And then who has good nature he was Catholic and asked the young lady to go out and look for Catholics a cut off but I'm tired. You know what? No, you know,

00:38:57--> 00:39:15

we say no. She said I know your nature. I know of you. You are from my city. But I can't marry you Kathy. So he accepted Islam and she married him. So the nature of the person is extremely important.

00:39:16--> 00:39:18

extremely important. Now

00:39:19--> 00:39:24

I'll go the second one to the second which is this thing the other thing is the dean

00:39:25--> 00:39:29

nature. Good nature. Right?

00:39:30--> 00:39:39

And then he has Dean or she has Dean now this is the person that you're looking for. This is the person that you're looking for.

00:39:40--> 00:39:47

He has is one of them is missing like a good nature but no Dean it's x we reject that.

00:39:49--> 00:39:56

He has only been and no good nature. It will also find someone better the evenings on HANA with Donna.

00:39:58--> 00:39:59

Now how do you know

00:40:00--> 00:40:04

If this person is a person of Deen,

00:40:06--> 00:40:24

how do you know? The brothers? How do you know? Some of the brothers? You know, they just marry sister like one of their brother. He said, he came to my office and he said, I want to marry sister someone. So I said, What do you know about her? She said she

00:40:25--> 00:40:45

please do not undermine my intelligence. I said, Okay, what do you know about her? He said, I did extensive study on the sister like, like she was a project, Mashallah. I said, Okay, what do you know? He said, for once she wears hijab.

00:40:47--> 00:40:49

I just want to get up and smack that idiot.

00:40:51--> 00:40:52

Every system with hijab

00:40:54--> 00:40:56

is that a measuring stick? No.

00:40:58--> 00:41:01

As a matter of fact, no offense, scissors, net you

00:41:03--> 00:41:06

some scissors D put a javelin so they can get married.

00:41:10--> 00:41:11

That's what I said.

00:41:13--> 00:41:21

Assistant assist a call and I'm not making this up. A sister calls me and she said, Yeah, she. I'm putting the hijab on today.

00:41:22--> 00:41:27

I said, I said Allahu Akbar. And then I said Mashallah.

00:41:30--> 00:41:36

And hamdulillah You know, when I some Botha high, you know, that there are you know, for my eBay, it's a Mashallah.

00:41:38--> 00:41:39

She said, No, Chef.

00:41:45--> 00:41:47

Well, I am not exaggerating.

00:41:48--> 00:41:51

So I said, you put the hijab on so you can get married?

00:41:52--> 00:41:53

She said, Yes.

00:41:58--> 00:42:02

She said, I heard only those practicing people, the one who gets married, other guys don't get married.

00:42:04--> 00:42:06

And we have voters on the other side.

00:42:07--> 00:42:45

are in the mystery. They sit in the hammock, the nice people, but in reality, the little devils they finish a out in, I call them in the mission, Abu hurayrah. And Abu Bakar is our home Abuja with a villa. So I don't know, how do you know the person you really, really need to study, as, you know, inquire about him or her all the time, like I might have been a lady came to him. And she said, I want you to check this man for me. He goes to the Sahaba. And they say, who knows this man? What? I knew I needed more money.

00:42:46--> 00:43:02

Did you travel with him this? He said no. He said, Do you live with him? He said no. He said, Do you Did you ever do business with him? He said no. He said that. How do you know the man? The underwriter? Perhaps you saw him in the midst of medical records? He said yes. He said,

00:43:04--> 00:43:06

he said, You really don't know the man.

00:43:07--> 00:43:15

You don't know the man. He says this not how you know the person. Because when you travel with the person, you see, you know his nature.

00:43:18--> 00:43:44

Right now, like if you ever want to have you traveled with Chef Mustafa harden, for example, or chef Bashir, for example. And know you will love them more than you love them right now. Because he will see Wow, these guys are bigger than what they really what we know of them in Wow, man is a bad you know all that.

00:43:45--> 00:44:10

So, let me say when you travel with the person, only then you can tell who he is. And then he said, Okay, did you? He said, Do you live with him? So you know, when he wakes up how he is? And he said no. He said do you deal doing business with him? Because in business, you know, the person is greedy, or generous? is cheating is lying is honest. He say no. So you don't know.

00:44:11--> 00:44:19

So here we're talking about Dina diamond, something also the third I know my time is running. Sure. But third is

00:44:20--> 00:44:25

out of love. You marry this person because of

00:44:28--> 00:44:30

his love a lot before marriage.

00:44:34--> 00:44:35

No, yes.

00:44:38--> 00:44:39

No, no, he did ask us later.

00:44:41--> 00:44:45

absolutely, positively is acceptable.

00:44:47--> 00:44:50

as acceptable. In the long run alayhi wa sallam thought

00:44:52--> 00:45:00

Mr. nica he said those who are in love, never seen anything like marriage means you know you can you can fall in love with someone you know, but of course

00:45:00--> 00:45:11

We're not talking about falling in love, like the kuffar we talked about is non equality Islamic laws, you know, you keep your distance you stay away from the person, you know, you do so on.

00:45:12--> 00:45:12

But

00:45:15--> 00:45:33

this is one of the reasons that marriage, the one of the principle is to say that marriage should be babe, I'm going to cut it short in Sharla. And I'm going to go to the reasons a man a father would refuse to marry his daughter to this young man.

00:45:35--> 00:45:40

Okay, emerging this and this is a real thing. Brothers and sisters,

00:45:41--> 00:45:50

a young man, he went to propose to this young girl, a young lady. So he went to her father,

00:45:53--> 00:45:54

his pants,

00:45:56--> 00:45:56

calm.

00:45:59--> 00:46:01

His pants is going all the way down.

00:46:02--> 00:46:07

He has fo that our child get can get lost in that Afro.

00:46:08--> 00:46:09

And it is Afro.

00:46:13--> 00:46:18

He has he's wearing a T shirt. That saying, you know,

00:46:19--> 00:46:21

EFF this, just do it.

00:46:23--> 00:46:23

Right.

00:46:25--> 00:46:29

And he's saying, He's saying, in Antonia.

00:46:31--> 00:46:33

The old man is like, and this is a good father

00:46:34--> 00:46:36

and his other

00:46:37--> 00:46:38

company, linhai

00:46:40--> 00:46:46

naka de sama. And we have a culture. Why don't you come through the challenge of our culture?

00:46:48--> 00:46:55

He said, You know, if this, you know, my culture is not marriott.america.org. And if you don't respect me,

00:46:57--> 00:46:57

I don't care.

00:46:59--> 00:47:01

Is that a good way brothers?

00:47:03--> 00:47:06

Like if you're a father, would you give your daughter to someone like this?

00:47:07--> 00:47:10

First thing, you will say go get a haircut first.

00:47:11--> 00:47:13

Number two, do you have a job?

00:47:15--> 00:47:20

Can you handle a responsibility? The answer is no. The answer is no.

00:47:21--> 00:47:24

And then this other guy from Hannah law.

00:47:27--> 00:47:33

And by the way, as a father's, like the fathers, as far as all do, they want someone who's responsible.

00:47:35--> 00:47:38

Now how do you know if this young man is responsible or not?

00:47:39--> 00:48:00

How do you know? Because you don't know him. She's the one who just brought him to you. How do you know if he can be responsible? They don't know and they can never know. So what they do, they figure out and they try to ask questions about him. And they say okay, she had a nice Danica does he have any degree?

00:48:01--> 00:48:17

There was two idiots around who's proposing to the young lady, another ad that he took with him. So he said and the one was proposing to this young lady. He did not know Somali very well

00:48:19--> 00:48:22

jumia Masha Allah, Allah,

00:48:26--> 00:48:27

Masha, Masha

00:48:30--> 00:48:31

I'm so so

00:48:34--> 00:48:42

you know, typical sama la cama Paloma Thai. He said, let me call this guy so he called someone you know, what China my phone?

00:48:45--> 00:48:54

And they say, Oh, okay. Are you ready? I think he said some something like that. I don't know. He needs a gun.

00:48:58--> 00:48:59

Is that a tree is

00:49:03--> 00:49:03

fine.

00:49:06--> 00:49:06

In

00:49:11--> 00:49:30

degree anything, how are you gonna be responsible? And I think something got lost in between between the translation and so on. And it got to him in another way. So that he said, Yeah, I have to the Father is that what are these? Two and a lot?

00:49:45--> 00:49:59

Okay, so, if the person is not responsible, then the Father has a right to say I don't want to marry you, my daughter. And the thing is, for example, if the person has fast deeds,

00:50:00--> 00:50:02

It is Dean is corrupted.

00:50:03--> 00:50:10

Why? Because this young man, this young man, I'm telling you very

00:50:11--> 00:50:16

true story. Why it's not a fabrication is a true story. This young man,

00:50:17--> 00:50:29

when he married this young lady, he's responsible for her Dean is responsible for everything. So the father wants to make sure that the Dean of this young man is solid. it's acceptable.

00:50:31--> 00:50:38

You know, once after salata Juma and this is the story of the setup of Juma a brother comes to me, and he said, Listen,

00:50:39--> 00:50:54

we have a family issues, and we need some counsel, can we send my you know, to his daughter? I don't know, a boy and girl, can we send it send them to your office? I said, Sure. And I do counseling every single Tuesday. Bring them.

00:50:56--> 00:51:08

So the guy is talking to the daughter, the young lady was raised in his so called Islamic environment, basic Islamic environment, you know, but they have some principle. And the guy

00:51:09--> 00:51:14

he was a lunatic, you know, party animals in do this, do that and so on.

00:51:16--> 00:51:16

Anyway,

00:51:17--> 00:51:32

they sit and they telling me, Well, you know, we commit a sin. We did this. And you know, and I have a Samadhi tea that is in my office all the time, and they would not So mine is by the way, so I'm drinking my tea. And

00:51:34--> 00:51:35

I gave

00:51:44--> 00:51:51

I'll just finish this story. And few things in Sharla, five, six more pace. I mean, we've done a sham.

00:51:53--> 00:51:54

Anyway,

00:51:55--> 00:52:09

we were drinking tea, all three of us. And then the man would not spit out. What was the problem? And she's drinking tea. Like, there's no tomorrow, Mashallah. She says, I'm lesbian.

00:52:16--> 00:52:18

That's how I felt saying, but

00:52:24--> 00:52:25

you just can't get out.

00:52:26--> 00:52:28

She's drinking like this. I'm lesbian.

00:52:32--> 00:52:37

Because they have a boy together. And the boy is running around. So how did that come along?

00:52:40--> 00:52:46

Like I say today, this is what happened. My husband used to take me to nightclubs.

00:52:48--> 00:53:08

And then, you know, on the dance floor with dance and all this, and then one day, this lady she came dancing closer to me closer, so the guy because he's corrupted, hitches his he loved that. Two girls dancing together, his wife, another girl, so he said Mashallah.

00:53:11--> 00:53:11

Anyway,

00:53:13--> 00:53:35

they exchanged phone numbers, they came back the next Friday, they danced together. And then that she was a Canadian, she was a Muslim lady, white lady, and then that lady, she touched the Muslim girl. And she said, Oh, don't touch me, you know? And then she went to her husband, and she said, she touched me. He said, Wow, that sucks.

00:53:37--> 00:53:38

And then

00:53:40--> 00:53:48

if it hasn't been sometimes, you know, and there's a wrong. So what happened? The relationship grew.

00:53:50--> 00:53:54

Now she's playing, she's dancing, slow dance with her. And then

00:53:56--> 00:54:08

the wife comes back. And she says to her husband, I want to divorce. What happened? I'm in love with Who is he? I want to kill him. Say to that white lady.

00:54:10--> 00:54:12

She became lesbian.

00:54:13--> 00:54:50

The start meeting one another, you know, how you know date. And then next thing that you know, she just discovered all of sudden after a child that she doesn't like men, I she likes women. So a father before he says no, this is one of the reasons that he wants to make sure that the young men and so on. But one of the other things that I want to just talk about because I have no time left is the things that is not acceptable to for a young man to be rejected. What is the first thing that I will say is because of

00:54:52--> 00:54:55

a lot of people they say, Oh, I smell good.

00:54:58--> 00:54:59

So because of

00:55:00--> 00:55:12

Sabine is the de is excellent is the modern the nature of the person is good. His manners are good because a Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said, either a document or a donor, do you know what?

00:55:13--> 00:55:23

He said? If you if a man comes to you and you're satisfied with his Deen manners, you know that they marry your daughters. So one of the reasons that we cannot reject the young man is

00:55:25--> 00:56:11

the cubbies thing I'm not talking about I know, in every nation in every group, they have certain people that they don't marry from one another islamically it's not acceptable. But we have that, as long is not a marriage or tribe, that the whole family would this own this young lady or this young man who will cause a lot of problems. And then the family should not reject this young man because is not from the same tribe. He's not from the same tribe. So I have to run and take my other six patients with me in sha Allah that I did not do because we run out of time. Even though last night I give most of my time to my neighbor, but it's definitely worth it.

00:56:16--> 00:56:20

Just a long shaken and father fade on the desert.

00:56:22--> 00:56:23

Just so that we know

00:56:25--> 00:56:53

it's girls that are allowed to clap not the guys and inshallah Tada. We are going to pray Salatu Lhasa in here, nobody's going out. And after that inshallah, inshallah we are going to begin with the q&a and that is the questions and the answers, the most interesting part of this conference. And when you want when, if you have, if you could have read the questions like I did, he wouldn't go anywhere.

00:59:29--> 00:59:29

What

00:59:31--> 00:59:43

a complete one another, from the back of the man and from the womb of the mother, that this is what creates a manatee and allows them to continue with this.

00:59:44--> 00:59:59

And then Allah subhanho wa Taala said in the Quran, when law Giada come in and foresee come as Raja Raja Minh as you come. Allah said, I like reading you have on from yourselves needs

01:00:00--> 01:00:10

spouses, wives, and from these wives a lot gave you many will have children and grandchildren.

01:00:13--> 01:00:21

So this is an acknowledgment that we need to acknowledge and understand that marriage is a nim. Okay.

01:00:22--> 01:00:32

The other thing that we need to understand what we should ask ourselves, what are the wisdom behind marriage?

01:00:33--> 01:00:34

Why do we need to get married?

01:00:35--> 01:00:36

Why?

01:00:38--> 01:00:51

What is the purpose of getting married? Why did Allah subhanho wa Taala create us differently? At the same time completely completely one another? What is the wisdom? The first is

01:00:53--> 01:00:56

to have what is the first thing offspring

01:00:58--> 01:01:17

to allow our race to continue? Because without us marrying one another, then our race will not continue it will come to an end. And this is panela One of the things that Allah subhana wa tada one of the purpose

01:01:18--> 01:01:20

not only that it What if Allah?

01:01:22--> 01:01:23

Allah subhanho wa Taala

01:01:26--> 01:01:44

said and he mentioned anybody who tampers with that, oh, conveys the human being from any other in any other way other than that legislated way. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala will consider that was one of the greatest sin, which is facade.

01:01:46--> 01:01:46

facade.

01:01:48--> 01:01:49

Okay.

01:01:51--> 01:02:03

The second thing, which all of you, I think we were thinking about it first, to be first is the physical enjoyment, right?

01:02:04--> 01:02:07

Is the physical enjoyment. And this is a

01:02:08--> 01:02:21

this was the last panel with an ad This is the purpose that this is like a reward for you, for us coming together and creating a third human being. Imagine

01:02:23--> 01:02:27

if getting married was painful.

01:02:29--> 01:02:29

Imagine

01:02:31--> 01:02:40

if getting married and being with your spouse was as painful as death, how many of us would get married?

01:02:42--> 01:02:43

None of us.

01:02:45--> 01:02:50

Imagine if getting married and being with your spouse is like delivering a child.

01:02:53--> 01:02:54

Right?

01:02:55--> 01:02:59

None of us would ever get married. But Allah made it enjoyable.

01:03:00--> 01:03:08

enjoyable, because we don't think about the aftermath. Women don't think about the pain of delivering a baby.

01:03:09--> 01:03:29

But at that moment, all they want to do is be with their spouses. This desire in bill human need is from Allah it is not something that we fabricate. It's not something that we try ever or put ever in so we can have that feeling. No, it's something that is in us.

01:03:31--> 01:03:38

So we fulfill a need that was part that is part of us and Allah subhana wa tada create in us.

01:03:40--> 01:03:45

Allah subhana wa tada said in the Quran, from Eden minha

01:03:47--> 01:04:18

kaha. Can Allah subhanho wa Taala said, when they are talking about z and his wife, he said when Zaid and his wife enjoyed themselves, then after they got divorce, we married you to that wife. Now here a lot is telling us that marriage or being with your spouse is something that we physically and mentally enjoying the evening subhanho wa Taala

01:04:23--> 01:04:24

The third thing

01:04:25--> 01:04:27

is for us to reach

01:04:29--> 01:04:35

perfection or perfect status in terms of human perfection.

01:04:37--> 01:04:38

We know

01:04:39--> 01:04:50

how so? See when you marry someone. Why do you marry this sisters? Why do you marry a loser for example? Why does this is me a man

01:04:52--> 01:05:00

because they want someone to complete their life sit by this Why'd he marry a sister. Sometimes he loses themselves.

01:05:00--> 01:05:04

Why? Because you want someone to complete you

01:05:07--> 01:05:09

in everything by

01:05:10--> 01:05:19

their only physical enjoyment, but you need someone who you feel comfort in his presence or her presence.

01:05:20--> 01:05:21

Right?

01:05:22--> 01:05:25

Most of you will know because you're single right?

01:05:26--> 01:05:27

masa came back to him.

01:05:30--> 01:05:36

One of the things that you find in marriage is peace of mind.

01:05:37--> 01:05:39

If you don't know for my year

01:05:41--> 01:05:45

that's a different level. If you miracle money, then May Allah help you.

01:05:47--> 01:06:07

But if you marry someone that is any intelligence smart, rational, at the same time, beautiful, is great. If you marry someone who's not rational, oversensitive at the same time, ugly, May Allah help you.

01:06:08--> 01:06:11

That's all I can say. May Allah help you?

01:06:13--> 01:06:24

No. This perfection the human perfection is what we need in our life. Like look at messenger over last summer Maharani your son.

01:06:25--> 01:06:28

When he used to come home, what does he used to do?

01:06:29--> 01:06:33

He used to help his wife, clean the house

01:06:34--> 01:06:41

with his wife, you know, sweep the floor, do his own things, fix his shoes.

01:06:42--> 01:07:08

And at the same time, talk to her. He used to talk to her. And they used to enjoy the company. So in the long run, he was alone. Remember, Hades, Ayesha, the messenger overlord used to listen to her talk, when she's talking about what she was talking about the hadith of 11 women who, you know, decided to get together and, you know, technically back by their husbands are so lucky.

01:07:09--> 01:07:12

Because this was from the stories of the past.

01:07:13--> 01:07:14

And he lists.

01:07:15--> 01:07:19

So, this is called finding that

01:07:20--> 01:07:21

perfection in life's.

01:07:23--> 01:07:32

You see how do you know like, for example, we as guys, we can tell the sick single brother from the married brother.

01:07:33--> 01:08:01

And we can tell the one who's married to a righteous woman, and the one who is married to their wife. We can tell as soon as they come to the machine or come to my office, if he's frowning. And you know, he's all his phobias. wrinkly and his face and his beer one hairs looking this way and the other has looking away. And he's cool. He is tilted to the side. We say oh T was already given

01:08:02--> 01:08:03

as given

01:08:04--> 01:08:04

by

01:08:05--> 01:08:08

when we see a brother

01:08:09--> 01:08:12

who's wearing, you know, a green Kushi

01:08:13--> 01:08:17

and a white so underneath that white, yellow t shirt

01:08:18--> 01:08:20

and Air Jordan, we know he's single

01:08:22--> 01:08:24

because he has no taste

01:08:25--> 01:08:37

and dressing himself. So we know he's single. I'm sure the sisters on the other side they know the poor sisters. I think the sisters who are single is different from the brothers who are single.

01:08:38--> 01:08:42

Because the sister when they single, they dress nice, right?

01:08:43--> 01:09:06

Allahu Akbar. They have fake eyelashes. You know, they look like this like though they flying Mashallah, you know, and you have that hijab and the pin, forget about the edge of the pin is saying hi to you is talking to you. They have this shining pin. And, you know, it's so as soon as she gets married,

01:09:07--> 01:09:10

I think is like someone died.

01:09:16--> 01:09:19

And he has a little Porsche how can

01:09:20--> 01:09:24

how can you know everything?

01:09:25--> 01:09:26

And so what happened?

01:09:28--> 01:09:36

And the mother's day No, as soon as they come out of the mystery. If she's not color coded, and she's all over the place they know she's married.

01:09:37--> 01:09:41

And the single sisters. They always nice

01:09:48--> 01:09:49

to marry one Salaam Alaikum sister.

01:09:52--> 01:09:52

Cash

01:09:54--> 01:09:56

is a cleaner way.

01:09:59--> 01:09:59

It's good.

01:10:01--> 01:10:02

straight forward.

01:10:03--> 01:10:08

Even on the phone, you can tell the single sister from the merits.

01:10:10--> 01:10:15

The brothers they try, they try their best, but they miserably fail all the time.

01:10:16--> 01:10:24

For us, he tried to be soft. I mean, this is like behind us to get our Cisco get a life or something.

01:10:25--> 01:10:27

It doesn't work like that for us.

01:10:29--> 01:10:34

Also from the other profession, other things that it gives as

01:10:37--> 01:10:40

a complete in your life in terms of financial

01:10:42--> 01:10:43

as soon as you get married

01:10:45--> 01:10:48

then Allah will bless you with wealth. Right?

01:10:50--> 01:10:51

Can you brothers?

01:10:52--> 01:11:04

Again, a single one bhaskara is always taking the bus. You know, he's calling someone can you give me a right? As soon as he gets married, he's driving nice car.

01:11:05--> 01:11:08

In Denmark, there are not too many nice cars.

01:11:10--> 01:11:22

had too many. I've been looking around. I couldn't tell the single from the retirement from the you know, from the one who is looking out for the hunting guy. None of that. They all drive in red Honda.

01:11:26--> 01:11:28

In America and Canada,

01:11:30--> 01:11:56

you know, driving nice cars especially when the brother he's in he has a job and he's looking out for you know he wants to get married and you see him the brother Mashallah he gets this little nice car and he's always first first in the masjid. Not for for Allah. Well, he wants to park right at the sister's entrance. So the student can see his car when they're coming up. Oh god.

01:11:57--> 01:11:58

Mashallah.

01:11:59--> 01:12:00

Dr. Zhang.

01:12:06--> 01:12:14

But maybe when you get married, Allah bless you with wealth. Then Allah subhanho wa Taala

01:12:15--> 01:12:38

am Masada him in a radical in your guru for ora Yoni whom along informally say allow them to get married, because as soon as they get married, then Allah subhana wa tada would bless them with wealth. So a lot of young guys will be you know, struggling financially, if you want a lot to give you more money, then get married.

01:12:39--> 01:12:46

And this is what I actually used to say. If you weren't allowed to short with you with wealth

01:12:47--> 01:12:50

then have more children

01:12:51--> 01:12:52

and marry more wives.

01:12:59--> 01:13:01

So you knew the first one

01:13:04--> 01:13:08

she's like on fire Mashallah. She makes you more

01:13:09--> 01:13:10

poor

01:13:11--> 01:13:12

second one.

01:13:13--> 01:13:21

And you are Mashallah human third one, Allah, can you get the fourth wife, you become rich.

01:13:23--> 01:13:25

But of course, the first one will kill you.

01:13:30--> 01:13:34

Also, one of the benefits of marriage is

01:13:36--> 01:13:39

to find the perfect

01:13:41--> 01:13:49

the perfect man or a perfect spouse who can help you. help you with what? happy with everything.

01:13:51--> 01:13:56

Healthy with raising children for the case of sisters, you know, bite sisters.

01:13:58--> 01:14:01

So many men do not know how to help their wives

01:14:03--> 01:14:04

or the consumer will

01:14:06--> 01:14:10

go and change his diaper. he stinks. Why is your boy

01:14:11--> 01:14:11

your son

01:14:15--> 01:14:22

we don't do this, especially those who came from back home and they fresh.

01:14:24--> 01:14:31

When the boys goes to the bathroom, he's going out of the house because he doesn't want to touch him.

01:14:33--> 01:14:43

But in according to this nomic principle, Chrome to the stomach teaching I should say and should help we should help each other because we complete one another.

01:14:45--> 01:14:59

Also, one of the other reasons is again, sometimes financially, the sisters they don't have to, but sisters, they contribute to the need of the house. So we have that

01:15:00--> 01:15:04

You know, extra help from the sister site by

01:15:06--> 01:15:09

how do you choose the right person?

01:15:11--> 01:15:12

How do you choose that?

01:15:14--> 01:15:17

Remember that title was entertaining man

01:15:18--> 01:15:19

you

01:15:20--> 01:15:20

right.

01:15:23--> 01:15:28

Now, when it comes to this right now, you want to go to a person

01:15:30--> 01:15:36

who will say yes, but first you have to know what you want. So, what do you look for?

01:15:37--> 01:15:40

What is the first thing? How many of you will say d

01:15:42--> 01:15:42

c,

01:15:47--> 01:15:47

d

01:15:48--> 01:15:54

but some of the owner must know the first thing that you should look for

01:15:55--> 01:16:03

because Dean to them was given we'll also talk about then is the man then the nature of the person

01:16:05--> 01:16:09

and nature of the person and the quality of the person

01:16:10--> 01:16:12

is this person good person?

01:16:14--> 01:16:22

Right So, you you may find some people who Mashallah practicing Islam, but they are little devils, you may find that

01:16:23--> 01:16:28

they look into the nature of the person is even good nature.

01:16:30--> 01:16:32

He was a nurse come

01:16:36--> 01:16:38

in Janie Islamia.

01:16:40--> 01:16:44

He's a people like a miracle like minerals, like gold and silver.

01:16:46--> 01:16:52

They have qualities. You have one, like for example, some of mine, Mike my congregation.

01:16:53--> 01:17:14

Some of the people, some of the young guys, he has beard, he has little thobe and he has little miswak on his pocket, you know, from outside is a perfect Muslim, but I would not even trust him with my shoes. getting along with my daughter on someone's someone else daughter. And some guys, you know, they're not there yet.

01:17:16--> 01:17:17

But they have good nature.

01:17:19--> 01:17:21

They have good nature,

01:17:22--> 01:17:39

good manners. He's responsible. You asked him to do this, he will do it perfectly. He will also you know, he would initiate the hell and you will do what is necessary to be done without you asking.

01:17:41--> 01:17:44

This these are the type of people that you should look for.

01:17:45--> 01:17:52

like sisters, when you're looking for someone you know, don't let the little little coffee fool you.

01:17:53--> 01:17:54

Because some of them

01:17:55--> 01:17:55

like

01:17:57--> 01:18:08

the empty form inside empty shell from outside. They are perfect Muslims. He goes to the masjid Mashallah and you don't know what they do in the masjid.

01:18:10--> 01:18:16

Most of the time, the boys they talk in the hallways and that's a luncheon in the midst.

01:18:17--> 01:18:23

Are they sitting outside and chit chatting or the you know, you know text messaging someone who's right next to him in

01:18:25--> 01:18:26

a useless

01:18:27--> 01:18:37

so it's not that the shell is not the outer, you know external thing is internal is what is he about?

01:18:38--> 01:18:52

how we respond? How responsible is he? And likewise, assessors. Some of the sisters Mashallah their Deen is Dilbert thick. After the gin bar. There's no Dean.

01:18:54--> 01:19:01

Serious, there's no theme. So you look into the mat and you look into the nature of that person. for

01:19:04--> 01:19:04

them.

01:19:05--> 01:19:08

They say out of soda law. There's this lady.

01:19:10--> 01:19:19

She fasts, voluntary fast. She gets up. She prays all night long. She does everything according to Islam.

01:19:20--> 01:19:30

The move is evil. She always hurt other people and her neighbors are not safe from her. He said she is in Johanna.

01:19:31--> 01:19:53

Snap where she does outside is where she is where she was. And I said but we have so on so she doesn't give soda. She doesn't pray other than the photo and she doesn't you know fast other than the fluoride. But her family has relatives or neighbors are safe from her tongue. He said she is from a halogen.

01:19:55--> 01:19:59

She's from Mahajan. So we snagged the outside Dean is

01:20:00--> 01:20:11

The actual person is the nature of that person. And only the nature of that person can tell the person who he is or she is.

01:20:15--> 01:20:16

Remember, when

01:20:18--> 01:20:19

almost saline, you know,

01:20:21--> 01:20:22

when our

01:20:23--> 01:20:31

long run, she heard that almost saline is ready for marriage. So he ran because she knew she is a fine lady.

01:20:32--> 01:20:40

And then when he came to her, and he proposed her What is she said, she said, I cannot marry you

01:20:41--> 01:20:42

in the room,

01:20:43--> 01:20:48

your cabinet and I'm a Muslim, I cannot marry you, we cannot be married to one another.

01:20:50--> 01:20:53

That is not the reason the reason that you rejected me in the hallway

01:20:54--> 01:21:09

is in both gold and silver, she say no lie. This is a man like you should not be denied. However, you are careful. If you want to become a Muslim, then that is my diary. That is my mother.

01:21:11--> 01:21:28

She She was looking as well as other side on the flip side. And then who has good nature, he was careful and asked the young lady to go out and look for Kathy and Carol Valentine. You know? What? No, you know,

01:21:29--> 01:21:47

we say no, she said, I know your nature. I know of you. You are from my city. But I can marry you, Kathy. So he accepted Islam and she married him. So the nature of the person is extremely important.

01:21:48--> 01:21:50

extremely important. Now

01:21:52--> 01:21:57

I'll go the second one to the second, which is this thing. The other thing is the dean

01:21:58--> 01:22:01

nature. Good nature. Right?

01:22:02--> 01:22:11

And then he has Dean or she has Dean. Now this is the person that you looking for. This is the person that you're looking for.

01:22:12--> 01:22:20

Eddie has is one of them is missing like a good nature but no Dean, it's x we reject that.

01:22:21--> 01:22:28

He has only Dean and no good nature will also find someone better the evenings on HANA with Donna.

01:22:30--> 01:22:37

Now, how do you know if this person is a person of Deen?

01:22:38--> 01:22:56

How do you know? The brothers? How do you know some of the brothers? You know, they just marry sister like one of their brother. He said he came to my office. And he said I want to marry sister so and so. I said what do you know about her? She said sure.

01:22:57--> 01:23:17

Please do not undermine my intelligence. I said okay. What do you know about her? He said I did extensive study on the sister like like she was a project Mashallah. I said okay, what do you know? He said, for once she was a job.

01:23:19--> 01:23:22

I just want to get up and smack that idiot.

01:23:23--> 01:23:25

Every system with a job?

01:23:26--> 01:23:29

Is that a measuring stick? No.

01:23:30--> 01:23:34

As a matter of fact, no offense, scissors, net, you

01:23:35--> 01:23:38

some scissors D put a job most of you can get married.

01:23:41--> 01:23:43

Last summer. That's what I said.

01:23:45--> 01:23:54

When my sister called and I'm not making this up, a sister calls me and she said yeah, she I'm putting the hijab on today.

01:23:55--> 01:24:04

I said I said Allahu Akbar. And then I said, Masha, Allah, you know wankhede all the day in Iraq so had a and hamdulillah You know, when

01:24:05--> 01:24:09

you know that there are you know, for my eBay, it's a Mashallah

01:24:10--> 01:24:11

She said, No, she.

01:24:17--> 01:24:19

Well, I am not exaggerating.

01:24:21--> 01:24:23

So I said, you put the hijab on so you can get married?

01:24:25--> 01:24:26

She said, Yes.

01:24:30--> 01:24:35

She said, I heard only those plots and people the one who gets married, other guys don't get married.

01:24:36--> 01:24:38

And we have voters on the other side

01:24:39--> 01:24:59

are in the masjid. They sit in the hammock, the nice people, but in reality, they the devils, they finish a team. I call them in the midst of Abu hurayrah and Abu Bakar. Our home Abu japin when he had a villa, so I don't know how do you know the person you really, really need to

01:25:00--> 01:25:35

Study, as, you know, inquire about him or her all the time, like I might have been a lady came to him. And she said, I want you to check this man for me. He goes to the Sahaba. And they say, who knows this man, one of us I know, I know many of you say, Did you travel with him this? He said, No. He said, Do you live with him? He said, No. He said, Do you Did you ever do business with him? He said, No. He said that how do you know the man? The underwriter? Perhaps you saw in the in the missing medical records? He said yes. He said,

01:25:36--> 01:25:38

he said, You really don't know the man.

01:25:39--> 01:25:48

You don't know the man is that's not what this is not how you know the person. Because when you travel with the person, you see, you know his nature.

01:25:51--> 01:26:17

Right now, like, if you ever want Have you traveled with Chef Mustafa Harlan, for example. Or chef Bashir, for example. And no, you will love them more than you love them right now. Because he was in Wow, these guys are bigger than what they really what we know of them in Wow, manage a bad you know, all that.

01:26:18--> 01:26:42

So, let me say when you travel with the person, only then you can tell who he is. And then he said, Okay, did you? He said, Do you live with him? So you know, and when he wakes up how he is? And he said no. He said do you deal do business with him? Because in business, you know, the person is greedy, or generous? is cheating is lying is honest. He say no. So you don't know.

01:26:43--> 01:26:52

So here we're talking about Dena Domini. Something. Also the third I know my time is running. Sure. But third is

01:26:53--> 01:26:57

out of love. You marry this person because of

01:27:00--> 01:27:02

his love allowed before marriage.

01:27:06--> 01:27:07

No, yes.

01:27:10--> 01:27:12

No, he did ask us later.

01:27:14--> 01:27:17

absolutely, positively, is acceptable.

01:27:19--> 01:27:22

as acceptable. And we saw a lot he was

01:27:24--> 01:27:43

Mr. nica, he said those who are in love never seen anything like marriage means you know, you can you can fall in love with someone, you know, but of course we're not talking about falling in love, like the kuffar we talked about is not according to Islamic laws, you know, you keep your distance you stay away from the person, you know, you do a song.

01:27:47--> 01:28:05

This is one of the reasons that marriage, the one of the principal icers say that marriage should be babe. I'm gonna cut it short in Sharla. And I'm gonna go to the reasons and man a father will refuse to marry his daughter to this young man.

01:28:08--> 01:28:12

Okay, imagine this. And this is a real thing. Brothers and sisters.

01:28:13--> 01:28:22

A young man, he went to propose to this young girl or young lady. So you want to have fun.

01:28:24--> 01:28:25

Now,

01:28:26--> 01:28:27

his pants

01:28:31--> 01:28:33

his pants is going all the way down.

01:28:35--> 01:28:36

He has fo

01:28:37--> 01:28:39

child get can get lost in that Afro.

01:28:40--> 01:28:42

And it is Afro.

01:28:46--> 01:28:51

He has he's wearing a T shirt. That saying, you know,

01:28:52--> 01:28:53

EFF this, just do it.

01:28:55--> 01:28:56

Right.

01:28:57--> 01:29:01

And he's saying, He's saying in Antonia.

01:29:03--> 01:29:05

The old man is like, and this is a good father.

01:29:06--> 01:29:07

And he said,

01:29:14--> 01:29:19

and we have a culture. Why don't you come through the channels of our culture?

01:29:20--> 01:29:24

He said, You know if this you know, my culture is not married. I'm married.

01:29:26--> 01:29:27

And if you don't respect me,

01:29:29--> 01:29:30

I don't care.

01:29:31--> 01:29:33

Is that a good way brothers?

01:29:35--> 01:29:38

Like if you a father, would you give your daughter to someone like this?

01:29:39--> 01:29:42

First thing you will say go get a haircut first.

01:29:43--> 01:29:46

Number two, do you have a job?

01:29:47--> 01:29:52

Can you handle a responsibility? The answer is no. The answer is no.

01:29:54--> 01:29:57

And then this other guy. Yeah, there's some Hana law

01:29:59--> 01:29:59

about

01:30:00--> 01:30:06

As a father's, like the fathers as fathers, or do they want someone who's responsible?

01:30:07--> 01:30:10

Now, how do you know if this young man is responsible or not?

01:30:11--> 01:30:33

How do you know? Because you don't know him. She's the one who just brought him to you. How do you know if he can be responsible? They don't know. And they can never know. So what they do, they figure out and they try to ask questions about him. And they say, okay, she had a nice Danica does he have any degree?

01:30:34--> 01:30:50

There was two idiots around who's proposing to the young lady, another ad that he took with him. So he said, and the one was proposing to this young lady, she did not know Somali very well

01:30:52--> 01:30:55

Julia Mashallah tabarrok Allah,

01:30:58--> 01:30:59

Masha Allah, Masha

01:31:02--> 01:31:03

I'm so so

01:31:07--> 01:31:15

you know, typical sama la cama Paloma Tae Hee salami call this guy. So he called someone you know, what's on my phone?

01:31:17--> 01:31:26

And then you say, Oh, okay. Are you ready? I think he said some $8 something like that. I don't know. He means a gallon.

01:31:30--> 01:31:33

Is there a try to get out? Mashallah.

01:31:34--> 01:31:35

hamdulillah

01:31:38--> 01:31:41

in Shahada, Mahabharata, Sham

01:31:43--> 01:32:02

degree anything, how are you going to be responsible? And I think something got lost in between, between the translation and so on. And it got to him in another way. So that he said, Yeah, I have to the Father is that what are these a shadow and a llama?

01:32:18--> 01:32:34

Okay, so if the person is not responsible, and the father has a right to say, I don't want to marry you, my daughter. And the thing is, for example, if the person has fast, Dean, it is Dean is corrupted.

01:32:36--> 01:32:42

Why? Because this young man, this young man, I'm telling you very

01:32:43--> 01:32:49

true story. Well, why is not a fabrication is a true story. This young man,

01:32:50--> 01:33:02

when he marries this young lady, he's responsible for her Dean, he's responsible for everything. So the father wants to make sure that the Dean of this young man is solid. it's acceptable.

01:33:03--> 01:33:07

You know, once after Salah to the gym, and this is the story of the Serato. Juma

01:33:08--> 01:33:10

brother comes to me, and he said, Listen,

01:33:12--> 01:33:26

we have a family issues, and we need some counsel, can we send my you know, to his daughter, I don't know, a boy or girl, can we send it send them to office? I said, Sure. And I do counseling every single Tuesday. Bring them

01:33:28--> 01:33:40

so the guy is talking to the daughter, the young lady was raised in a so called Islamic environment, basic Islamic environment, you know, but they have some principle. And the guy

01:33:42--> 01:33:46

he was a lunatic, you know, party animals in do this, do that and so on.

01:33:48--> 01:33:49

Anyway,

01:33:50--> 01:34:04

they sit and they telling me, Well, you know, we commit a sin. We did this. And you know, and I have a Samadhi tea that is in my office all the time, and they would not So mine is by the way, so I'm drinking my tea. And

01:34:07--> 01:34:07

I gave

01:34:10--> 01:34:11

Coco Sonia.

01:34:17--> 01:34:24

I've just finished the story. And few things in Sharla five, six more peace. And when we're done Sham

01:34:26--> 01:34:27

there anyway.

01:34:28--> 01:34:41

We were drinking tea all three of us. And then the men would not spit out. What was the problem? And she's drinking tea. But there is no tomorrow Mashallah. And she says, I'm lesbian.

01:34:49--> 01:34:50

First thing but

01:34:56--> 01:34:57

you just can't get out.

01:34:58--> 01:34:59

She's drinking like this.

01:35:00--> 01:35:01

I'm lesbian,

01:35:05--> 01:35:10

because they have a boy together, and the boy is running around. So how did that come along?

01:35:13--> 01:35:19

Like I say today, this is what happened. My husband used to take me to nightclubs.

01:35:20--> 01:35:41

Right. And then, you know, on the dance floor with dance and all this, and then one day, this lady she came dancing closer to me closer. So the guy because he's corrupted, he teaches his he loved that. Two girls dancing together, his wife, another girl. So he said, Mashallah.

01:35:43--> 01:35:44

Anyway,

01:35:45--> 01:36:08

they exchanged phone numbers, they came back the next Friday, they danced together. And then that she was a Canadian, she was a Muslim lady, white lady, and then that lady, she touched the Muslim girl. And she said, Oh, don't touch me, you know. And then she went to her husband, and she said, she touched me. He said, Wow, that sucks.

01:36:10--> 01:36:10

And then

01:36:13--> 01:36:20

it hasn't been sometimes, you know, and there's a wrong. So what happened? The relationship grew.

01:36:22--> 01:36:27

Now she's playing, she's dancing, slow dance with her. And then

01:36:28--> 01:36:41

the wife comes back. And she says to her husband, I want to divorce. What happened? I'm in love with Who is he? I want to kill him, say to that white lady.

01:36:42--> 01:37:23

She became lesbian. Because they started meeting one another, you know, how, you know dates. And then next thing that he you know, she just discovered all of sudden after a child, that she doesn't like men, I she likes women. So a father before he says no, this is one of the reasons that he wants to make sure that the young men and so, one of the other things that I want to just talk about, because I have no time left is the things that is not acceptable to for a young man to be rejected. What is the first thing that I will say is because of

01:37:25--> 01:37:27

a lot of people they say, Oh, I smell good.

01:37:31--> 01:37:44

So because of caffeine is the D is excellent, is the Madden the nature of the person is good. His manners are good, because in the long run, he was sending me said, either a document or donor, do you know what?

01:37:45--> 01:37:56

He said, if you if a man comes to you, and you're satisfied with his Dean manners, you know that they marry your daughters. So one of the reasons that we cannot reject the young man is

01:37:57--> 01:38:42

the thing I'm not talking about. I know in every nation in every group, they have certain people that they don't marry from one another islamically it's not acceptable, but we have that as long is not a marriage or tribe. That the whole family would this all this young lady or this young man who will cause a lot of problems. And then the family should not reject this young man because he is not from the same tribe. He's not from the same tribe. So I have to run and take my other six patients with me inshallah, that I did not do you because we run out of time. Even though last night I give most of my time to my neighbor, but

01:38:49--> 01:38:51

there's a long shadow problem.

01:38:54--> 01:38:56

Just so that we know

01:38:57--> 01:39:25

it's girls that are allowed to clap not the guys and inshallah Tada. We are going to pray Salatu Lhasa in here, nobody's going out. And after that, inshallah, inshallah we are going to begin with the q&a, and that is the questions and answers. The most interesting part of this conference. And when you when, if you have if you could have read the questions like I did, you wouldn't go anywhere.