The Two Wings Of Mercy

Reda Bedeir

Channel: Reda Bedeir

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© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Come and help us understand

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and appreciate

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mercy, which are

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just a little

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bit about our doctor because we do not have

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credential

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doctor is originally an associate professor at the University.

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He is currently a professor at the University of

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teaching introduction.

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Without further ado,

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Dr.

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smilla salatu salam ala rasulillah.

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He was

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about Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

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Don't think I can hear you.

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When you're greeted, you have to give a better one.

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even say, give it back to give something better. Let's try it again.

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Okay.

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The profits of the loved

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ones went on top of the member.

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And the Sahaba heard him three times, saying Me, me, me.

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But they didn't hear. Why was he saying I mean,

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was interacting. So after the football, they asked them, they said prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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He heard you saying, I mean, mean me.

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But we didn't see anything. He said jabril la ceram came to me what I was going to the member.

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And he said

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three times,

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a person will be humiliated, a person will be a loser.

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See him a gentleman who lives up to the time

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when one of his parents were both of them are alive. And he wouldn't take advantage of taking care of them. So that they can be his way to gentleman.

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Mohammed amin, Prophet Muhammad say, I mean, I said, I mean,

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let me ask the students at the

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International Islamic University of Malaysia, what's the meaning of I mean?

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We said 17 times after hitting a man saying

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lean we say

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what does it mean? I don't know.

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been here for many years. Yes.

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Give him a candle.

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So it means accept or die. Why? Because in fact, the first topic is present.

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And the second half is

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to

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say I mean, because the second part is

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and this tells you something, only one person raised his hand and save the group of 100.

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It's amazing. We were praying in the Torah way that most of the Omar came to attend a demonstration is something wrong with a player.

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That's apparent love the amount was reading after the fact just in the middle of the Quran.

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What's happening?

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There are

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like machines right? They don't

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like you say me. Okay?

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So here you go. This tells us something very important which is

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our parents, our key two gentlemen who would like to we get to

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one hand stuck for

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two hands only. I wish I had 10 Mashallah, that's great. So your parents are your way two gentlemen, who would have a key to gender

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and would forget it.

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I wouldn't take care of it. I would lose

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a key to gentleman taking care of your parents. So panela

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Even if my parents are not Muslims, will live up to that degree. And one of the greats have

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taught us this Listen, his mother.

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And he went to the Prophet Solomon said prophet of Allah.

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My mother

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keeps saying bad things about you.

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And she is not willing to embrace Islam. So what he wants,

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his mother is not a Muslim is a prophet of Allah. Please make dua

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to my mother.

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Imagine now, especially coming from the prophets of Allah

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arrived home. And he was living with his mother said

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she was taking a shower.

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And she put on her clothes. She opened the door saying

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he left her in the morning. cursing, the Prophet says

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for her, what happened

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to her heart.

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So he cared a lot about his mother, even though

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she was another Sahabi was teaching us the same principle.

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One of the promise, gentlemen, while they were still working,

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we accepted Islam.

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His mother didn't like.

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And she started like fighting and do everything possible to make him leave Islam again. To the degree that

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she announced to go on strike.

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Is it the same tactic today?

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And somehow she said, I'm not gonna eat. I'm not gonna take a shower.

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And I'm gonna die and everyone will blame you for my death. You will live with this for the rest of your life.

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So

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profitable. Ah,

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I love my mother so much. That's what she's doing.

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But

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let me say this again. I love my mother so much. But I love Islam.

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But Allah subhanho wa Taala revealed the Koran that's recited to the Day of Judgment. And so number 31.

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Allah subhanaw taala said, if your parents just

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look at the the verb they're doing, that you leave Islam.

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So if they exercise so much pressure on you, so that you leave Islam,

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Allah said

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that you associate partners with me.

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Allah said,

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Do not listen to them do not obey them in a certain part of the law, but yet, even though they are not Muslims,

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Allahu Akbar, but be kind to them. Have a good relationship with them.

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So parallel, if this is the case with all Muslims, what about our parents or Muslims? How do we treat them?

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Sometimes this is exactly the email or the phone call, right?

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Hey, Mom, please transfer 500 ringgits as soon as possible to my account

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and you haven't gotten an email for three months.

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But now you need her.

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Right?

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Am I right? Right, sir. Right? Which one or both of them? I think both of them. Okay. Hey,

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brother. Hey, Dad.

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exams are over. But I have bad news for you. not coming back home, because I'm invited by my friend

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who'd missed the summer in Brazil and cow in

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Norway.

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Someone else?

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Let's talk about sisters is going to find her mom. Sorry, mom.

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I have forgotten to call it for the last six months.

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I just wanted to tell you about, you know, I was really busy.

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And here's another brother.

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Hey, Dad.

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Please don't be mad at me.

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Because I'm not intending to. I'm not intending to come back home. I have a good opportunity here.

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I want to be something.

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Does this sound familiar to your ears?

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Do you know someone?

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Who does this most of the time?

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Is this the way we treat our parents?

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So for the purpose of the talk tonight, brothers and sisters, I'm just gonna focus on the central theme in the Quran about Guerrilla Games.

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And they are three.

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It's not the number 1723 through 25.

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And let's see the importance

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and the value of goodwill

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and the danger of being ungrateful to our parents. So what do we gain? And what do we lose? And what is the loss of philosophy comes to the rights of the parents. So lots of data in this ad says

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boo.

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Allah subhanaw taala your load has decreed that you worship none, but alone.

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That's the most important thing in this need.

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To know the one who brought you to life, to acknowledge his blessings upon you

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and to live all your life to please Him.

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So by the end, you're gonna

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say I mean?

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Can we say feeling it and say I mean, with a smile? It is not our

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okay. So what is the second most beloved act of worship in the sight of Allah?

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In the Quran, and in the sinner, let's continue.

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After Allah has decreed that one should be worshipped except Him alone, he said.

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And it should give the highest regard, you should do your utmost effort to reach the level of the level of excellence when it comes to dealing with your parents.

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So what's the second most beloved act of worship in the sight of Allah after hit? The rule is

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to treat your parents with delivery.

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In the headache, the man came to the professor Solomon said,

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What is the most beloved act of worship in the sight of Allah?

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May

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Allah

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He said it's to pray on time.

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Caller

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so what's next call ever.

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Again, he said, to be kind to parents.

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Again, the Hadith is supporting what the is telling us.

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And sometimes

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we assume that we understand the problem.

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Anybody who speaks or the weird

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kehilla

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Tic Tac

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cyberdust Mashallah.

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Let me ask you a question.

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What is the meaning of action?

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What's the meaning of action?

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I'm sorry, I don't want to put you on the spot. But you know the meaning of action when it comes it means favor, Mashallah. Okay, give him a candy shower. Oh, I left with the candy.

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flavor, right? This is what the word means in order.

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So somebody who knows what they're gonna say, Yeah, I know what this means. I know. This word is an order though it is also in Persian. Anybody speaks Persian here means the same thing. Right? Means favor. Right, right.

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Okay.

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But does it mean favor in this I know is Allah subhanaw taala telling us that we can pay our parents back. They did a favor to us. We can do a favor to them.

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In fact, Abdullah Abdullah Omar Abdullah, Juan Homer,

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a man came to him during Hajj and he was carrying his mother all the way during Hajj.

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Anybody here has been for Hajj.

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So you know what I'm talking about. It's very tough. This year, there were about five to 6 million there was really tough. So it's amazing

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that this man was getting his mother all the way during Hajj.

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It's very tough.

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It's very hot there. So these are

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Subhan Allah. So he came to me said, Ronnie, what

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do you think I paid my mother back by doing this. It said not even. Not even one minute of the ambulance of delivery, when she was giving birth to you.

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Why? He said Why? He said Subhanallah you are carrying her now? And what do you what do you wish for her?

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You wish for her to.

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But she used to carry you. She called you in nine months without complaining without asking for something in return.

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And she used to carry you when you're young.

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And she wished you life?

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How'd you feel now? When you take her to the washroom? You feel disgusted. But she used to clean you when you were young. And she was happy to do this.

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What do you do now if you have to feed her. You feel it's a burden. But she used to be very happy when she was feeding you when you can do nothing except being dependent on her. And it's amazing power and all languages of the world. Do you know the first easiest to buy Libyan sounds that we as Davis and all languages utter.

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Repeat after me Ma

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and put another man. It makes it Ma Ma that's food security.

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When you're a baby, that's the first thing that you say Ma Ma you're hungry you say Ma Ma or change the diapers, Ma Ma you're sick Ma Ma

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and then after that

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after you learn you know that there is another person you start saying ban another ban it makes bah bah This is financial security. So you are very smart even in

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food security and financial security. Now you're okay parents.

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So parent a lot.

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So what's the meaning of the word siren here

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and Allah subhanaw taala didn't say were certain Meanwhile,

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the syntax means something. When something when something comes before something, there is a stress here. Like if anyone is worthy of the level of excellence when it comes to your mercy to your courtesy to your good character. The most deserving ones are your parents. So rather than say Why?

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You have to give the best when it comes to mercy, good character to the parents.

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The parents are the most deserving of that excellent level of dealing and treatment.

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Now let's make a stop here linguistically speaking at the world and whether they

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an Arabic

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And while again means parents, right.

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But also

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from the word while we say violet which means father

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We say wireless, which is mother.

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But there are two other words that we use, we say up an ohm.

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Which is a higher level. What do you mean? Because the scholar said, of Arabic language they say.

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And while it comes in while other yelets to give birth,

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and the two people who are the reason for your existence here are your parents, wild and wild.

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But yet the higher level is when they take it to the next level, and they contribute to something more than that, not just being the physical or biological parents. But they take care of you after that, for example, the mother doesn't give birth to you, and then she sends you through the de carelessness.

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Right? No, she takes care of you all the time.

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And your father takes it to the next level, and he becomes, you know, again, up rather than just while it meaning he also contributes to educating you raising you spinning and you're protecting you.

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So

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it's amazing, when we didn't have

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a number 15, Allah Subhana, Allah mentions, again, the same legacy last year,

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our soil insert,

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and we gave a legacy

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to man

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and man, humans, mankind, males and females,

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when it comes to their parents, but there are lots of paradata specified out of the tape to parents. And he said,

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he said his mother carried him.

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He didn't say hello to.

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And here's the difference. Because what are the two is the one that will give birth to him. And that says, No, Allah subhanaw taala is saying that she will contribute not only just carrying you, and deliver you, but after that you start breastfeeding you, cleaning you, you know, taking care of everything when it comes to you.

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So this is why Allah subhanaw taala use the word mother.

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And not the word wild, either just the biological mother, or the physical mother. So what do you want to say here? I want to say that Allah subhanaw taala, when he said what

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he didn't say.

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He said, if they only did the first part, which is the fact that they are your physical, or biological father and mother, they deserve the highest level

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of good character.

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Even if they did not contribute to what's next, which is raising you indicating you're taking care of everything in your life. That's the point. And that's the depth of the language, that once we know it, we see

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the miraculous nature of linguistics in the form.

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So this is a message from Allah Subhana Allah.

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But nowadays,

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look at the dialogue between the dad and the Son.

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And the son decides to take his dad to the nursing home.

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And he's gonna ask him, why are you doing this to me?

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is gonna go back and say, What did you do for me?

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You are not there for me when I needed you when I was young.

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That toy when I was begging you at the shop.

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You took me to the park. You remember everything he didn't do, but you'll forget everything that he did.

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As if we are dealing with our parents with that reciprocal mentality. You did this to me, I'll do this to you. You didn't do this to me. So I'm not gonna do this to you. But Allah say no.

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If the job was only, especially that

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if his job was only the biological father,

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or the physical father, that's enough that he deserves to have the best of your good character, the best of your courtesy, the best of your mercy.

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Don't treat them with that reciprocal mentality.

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I remember what Abdullah, you know, in the Rama, Rama, you know, said to that man, he said, you're carrying your mother wishing her death, but when she carried you, she was missing your life can never pay them back. Never.

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And after that Allah subhanho wa Taala says,

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aka darbuka Allah taboo.

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In

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Kibo, I had to Huma,

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Huma.

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And then Alice mother, let's say if

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either of them reaches old age, or both of them.

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law said in Deccan, Allahu Akbar, look at the words that indicate meaning now they are too old. They can take care of themselves, and they are in your house.

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And they're old.

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And this is our wife, Alice panatela. As he told us, in many situation in Iran, he said, He's the one who created you

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out of weakness. And then after weakness, he may strength, you're a baby completely dependent on your parents, you become a young man. Now, he goes there. And you think you can figure out the whole world, you don't need your parents anymore.

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And then you become old to go back again to the weakness.

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This is a reminder for all of us. So let's say if either of them or both of them reach old age, and you are in charge of them now, taking care of them.

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What should you do? Before I move to talk about what should you do? I'm gonna start Why did Allah subhanaw taala mention old age?

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Because Allah subhanho wa Taala said this in the Quran, woman.

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Kiss

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Subhan Allah, whoever Allah subhana wa Taala allows to live on old age, the reverse in the way they are created, meaning they live a second childhood when they are old.

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Look how he treats your children. If you are married, anybody married here with young children?

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Okay,

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so how do we teach our children? Let's talk about those who don't have children? How were you treated when you were a child?

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If you spilled some water,

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would your parents beat you up?

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But then the more you grow, the more expectations they will have out of you. Right? And they're going to start blaming us for the view. Now we are all Why did you spill the water? Why did you waste the money? Take care of this. You're old enough now to realize.

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And this is why when you start blaming your children, they hate you. I

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remember one time, my son,

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he was even at preschool. It was like three or four years old. And I was driving him back home and said that I want to talk to you about something important. And I was on the phone I said okay, phone call inshallah later on.

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And then, after I finished the call, he said Dad, have you finished? I want to talk to you about something important.

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was like something important. Let me make another phone call.

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And then again, it's come back and say that, have you finished? I said, Listen, I'm very busy. I have to finish what I'm doing. But you know what, I'll take care of you later. And I said when

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because I told him this.

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If you want something, never give up

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and somehow he applies this, you know, to the level of excellence with me.

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Not when it comes to his academic work, you know? Anyway, so I said inshallah, after dinner, I said he will forget him a long time.

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And

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after dinner, he came

00:29:39--> 00:29:44

and look at the way he wants to introduce the topic. He jumped and sat in my lap.

00:29:45--> 00:29:46

And he smiled.

00:29:48--> 00:29:48

And he kissed me.

00:29:50--> 00:29:55

And they gave me a hug. They said that you look very handsome today.

00:29:58--> 00:30:00

Well, I was learning what he was doing this

00:30:00--> 00:30:00

He was like,

00:30:01--> 00:30:02

that's a good technique.

00:30:03--> 00:30:07

Why? He doesn't want to talk to my ears

00:30:08--> 00:30:10

over there big enough hamdulillah

00:30:11--> 00:30:14

he wanted to talk to my heart.

00:30:15--> 00:30:24

Because usually when you talk to your parents, and it was that I want 500 it's gonna say, I don't have money for you.

00:30:25--> 00:30:30

But when you go, it's like No, dad. I said, I miss you so much. Why don't you give me a hug?

00:30:32--> 00:30:32

I really love you.

00:30:34--> 00:30:40

You know what the chef was talking about burrito today. I love you so much. So like, you're going to be the reason for me to go to gym, give me 500 things

00:30:41--> 00:30:43

is gonna give you 1000. Right?

00:30:45--> 00:30:48

Because you're talking to her. Then he said, that.

00:30:50--> 00:30:56

You remember, you know, this morning, I said, I remember. Soccer. We talk now. We finished dinner. I said, Yes, we can.

00:30:58--> 00:31:04

And they said, you know, you all people are not supposed to make mistakes. But we are very young.

00:31:05--> 00:31:09

We're supposed to make mistakes. None of them. Were supposed to make lots of mistakes.

00:31:10--> 00:31:24

I said, Okay. It said, so my friend. Look, he's being indirect to my friend. When he makes 10 mistakes. His father starts scolding him and rebuking him.

00:31:25--> 00:31:29

As if he's saying, I'm giving you a tip in parenting.

00:31:31--> 00:31:36

Why? Because I will be angry with him once he makes him stay. What is he trying to do?

00:31:37--> 00:31:41

Look at the way he presented his case. Can you resist that the point?

00:31:43--> 00:32:02

So the same thing, you know, I said to him, because when you were little when you were one, when you were two, that's fine. But now you're becoming three and four. So you know more. So you should stop making mistakes. Okay, let's have a deal. After every five mistakes, you can do that. I said, Oh, that's it.

00:32:04--> 00:32:22

So again, when our parents live to old age, they go back to their second childhood. So exactly as your children or you when you were a child, you were frustrated with your dad when his kids like, you know, blaming you for a mistake. Same thing happens with the parents.

00:32:23--> 00:32:26

They become very emotionally volatile fire

00:32:27--> 00:32:28

become very sensitive.

00:32:31--> 00:32:33

Sometimes they become angry, I don't know why

00:32:35--> 00:32:38

they become so stubborn. You don't know how to please them.

00:32:40--> 00:32:49

And this one was better said now, Allah subhanaw taala is reversing them in creation. They're living their second childhood. How would you treat your child?

00:32:50--> 00:33:01

So your parents now are moving into being your children? How would you treat them in my oblivion in Dhaka, Al Qaeda ahead in Yuma, Oklahoma.

00:33:03--> 00:33:16

So this is why I'm saying when our parents become old, as illustrating us in this ayah that becomes a very big challenge. What should we do with them? Allah subhanaw taala said, Salah

00:33:22--> 00:33:23

Allah.

00:33:26--> 00:33:29

Allah says, Do not say

00:33:30--> 00:33:31

to them,

00:33:32--> 00:33:35

is a word. It's not a word.

00:33:36--> 00:33:44

This is the slightest show of frustration. Arabic. It's not even a word. It's exactly when you say this.

00:33:46--> 00:34:07

Did you say something? No, you're just expressing frustration. That's two months. I've been doing everything possible. And they're still yelling at me. They're treating me as if I'm still a child. It's how you act your parents sometimes. Right? So law said do not show the least of frustration to parents.

00:34:08--> 00:34:09

Why?

00:34:11--> 00:34:21

Sometimes they start yelling at you. Right? they're angry. They start insulting you in front of others.

00:34:23--> 00:34:30

So by saying regardless, stop that reciprocal mentality. They're angry. I should

00:34:31--> 00:34:33

they talk to me, I should talk back.

00:34:35--> 00:34:38

There. So the first question, I should say my first reaction was like no.

00:34:39--> 00:34:50

If they are getting at you, they are insulting you. They're so frustrated with you. Nothing should come out of your mouth, even the least expression of frustration.

00:34:54--> 00:35:00

So what should come out of my mouth? Allah says Allah Tahoma. First of all, do not abandon

00:35:00--> 00:35:09

Because when they're mad at you, some of us like, walk away. She can't talk back. You just walk away. These people are going crazy. You know, I can deal with them anymore.

00:35:11--> 00:35:12

Don't scold them.

00:35:13--> 00:35:15

Do not abandon them.

00:35:16--> 00:35:28

If anything has to come out of your mouth, even though they are wrong, they're insulting you. They're yelling at you. They are they're angry without any valid reason.

00:35:30--> 00:35:31

If you have to say something.

00:35:33--> 00:35:39

Nothing, except gracious words should come out of your mouth. I'm sorry that I'm sorry.

00:35:41--> 00:35:54

They are the one insulting? Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Sounds like you know, I don't know. Why are you upset? Are you okay? With you? Should be I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad at me.

00:35:55--> 00:36:01

Nothing should come out of your mouth, except expressing, you know, graciousness. Why?

00:36:04--> 00:36:09

Why do you have to show gratitude to them, even though they're insulting you?

00:36:10--> 00:36:11

Is it because

00:36:13--> 00:36:15

you choose to be respectful to them?

00:36:18--> 00:36:24

Could be but as Muslims, what's the meaning of a Muslim? A Muslim is someone who submits to Allah subhanaw taala

00:36:26--> 00:36:28

is not someone who submits to peer pressure.

00:36:29--> 00:36:33

Not someone who submits to his desires. I feel like yelling at them I would yell at them.

00:36:35--> 00:36:43

Know You show respect to them even though they're not showing respect. Because a well commanded you and you are a Muslim.

00:36:45--> 00:36:47

Allah subhanaw taala used

00:36:50--> 00:36:52

a command and prohibition.

00:36:54--> 00:37:00

Allah says what I was saying don't say of virtue frustration Allah

00:37:01--> 00:37:02

wala,

00:37:03--> 00:37:07

who's forbidding you from scolding them, or abandoning a law

00:37:09--> 00:37:09

and also

00:37:12--> 00:37:20

of law, so you do this you show respect? First of all, because it's a command by Allah subhanaw taala. Second,

00:37:21--> 00:37:31

you should know that regardless of what they are doing, at the moment, when they're reeling at you, and when they are showing frustration with you,

00:37:33--> 00:37:36

this is nothing if you compare it to what they have done all their life for you.

00:37:38--> 00:37:43

If they made such a mistake one time or two times, if you compare it to what they have been offering you all their life

00:37:46--> 00:37:48

It should be nothing and you should always forgive them.

00:37:51--> 00:37:52

For example,

00:37:56--> 00:37:57

look at the mothers

00:37:59--> 00:38:01

once the mother delivers

00:38:04--> 00:38:05

How does she treat her baby?

00:38:06--> 00:38:12

Look at you and I as as fathers or would be fathers inshallah, inshallah.

00:38:15--> 00:38:17

Like your smart brothers figure them out as soon.

00:38:23--> 00:38:24

So

00:38:25--> 00:38:33

if the father gets wounded at work, or as they had to go through a surgery, what happens at work?

00:38:34--> 00:38:35

They take a sick leave.

00:38:36--> 00:38:49

Right? And they go home after the surgery, or after a bandage put on the wound. And they lie on the bed and they start complaining of man, it hurts. It's very painful.

00:38:50--> 00:38:56

Right? But look at the mother. She delivers. She's in so much pain.

00:38:57--> 00:38:58

And 40 minutes.

00:38:59--> 00:39:12

What does she do? She has to go back to work. The baby needs to be breastfed, which is a no no. I need to leave please. Give me two months leave. I'm still in pain. Would you do that?

00:39:16--> 00:39:21

So if your mother gets angry at some point, wouldn't you remember that?

00:39:27--> 00:39:30

So parallel even even us as husbands.

00:39:32--> 00:39:32

When

00:39:34--> 00:39:41

when you go with your wife in the ER the emergency room, and you see her suffering, what she's delivering

00:39:43--> 00:39:48

and the way she snatches all your hair and tears and clothing, when she's in pain.

00:39:51--> 00:39:55

And sometimes she tells you, I'm not gonna do this anymore. That's it.

00:39:57--> 00:39:59

But it's one of the blessings of Allah subhanaw taala

00:40:02--> 00:40:03

That we forget our pain.

00:40:06--> 00:40:15

And the same lady who said no more. After three years, when she sees the baby playing alone, she's gonna say, shall we have a brother to father

00:40:17--> 00:40:18

or mother sister.

00:40:22--> 00:40:33

It's amazing when the man the husband sees his wife going through all of this, he will start your eyes instead of Harlan law. So my mother has to put up with all of this pain when I was young.

00:40:34--> 00:40:50

It's only then when we realize what mothers go through. So if your mother go through all of this, that she deserves you to be patient with her. If she yells at you, because she expects she has given you a lot. she expects you to be patient with her.

00:40:55--> 00:41:02

It also paralyze lot sometimes we as men, we think by going out to work. We are doing wonders.

00:41:03--> 00:41:05

And we suffer a lot.

00:41:06--> 00:41:20

But voila, he inshallah phalanxes my life and I come back here after five years or 10 years, and most of you will be married Central. Because I'm doing

00:41:22--> 00:41:32

a marriage seminar during this weekend. I'm going to make sure that you know 90% of the Malaysians will get married after that seminar in Sonoma say I mean

00:41:35--> 00:41:37

how many of you are unmarried? Raise your hands

00:41:40--> 00:41:46

so when I said married there were only two hands don't don't be embarrassed those who are not married Raise your hands

00:41:48--> 00:41:49

Shame on you

00:41:51--> 00:41:57

What are you waiting for? Come to the seminar inshallah I'm guarantee you will go home with a wife and some

00:41:58--> 00:41:59

Salah

00:42:01--> 00:42:16

but mean it from the heart Don't say the joy you know when I went to the market one day and they asked them are you going to I'm going to buy a cow the same Sharma he said why have lots of money here and there are lots of cars on the market.

00:42:18--> 00:42:22

He went to the market came back there was no car with them on the way back home and said yo ha,

00:42:24--> 00:42:26

where's the cow? He said the money store in Sharla.

00:42:29--> 00:42:32

So some of you now are saying inshallah

00:42:34--> 00:42:37

Satan shala minute and inshallah Allah will marry you.

00:42:40--> 00:42:45

Because this is a command of the Prophet. You know, if you have the means

00:42:46--> 00:42:56

physical and financial to marry, marry, because it will keep you to be chaste inshallah will help you to lower your gaze. And the brothers know what I'm talking about.

00:42:57--> 00:42:58

Okay,

00:42:59--> 00:43:02

you know, when a sister walks by, you know how you feel.

00:43:04--> 00:43:06

The unmarried ones, you know what I'm talking about right?

00:43:08--> 00:43:12

can see the smiles? Mashallah. Okay, we'll talk about this morning.

00:43:15--> 00:43:16

Okay.

00:43:19--> 00:43:25

So hello, Allah. We think as as fathers when we go out, and we

00:43:26--> 00:43:27

work hard.

00:43:28--> 00:43:33

We think you know that the mothers are doing nothing. I remember one time when I teach.

00:43:34--> 00:43:42

I teach Islamic studies for the men. I teach English for the woman. So one of the classes I was teaching conversation

00:43:44--> 00:43:45

and asked that the sisters I said,

00:43:51--> 00:43:52

What does your father do?

00:43:53--> 00:43:56

And she was so proud. She said, he's a boxer.

00:43:59--> 00:44:05

And then I said, What does your mother do? She said, she doesn't think she's a housewife.

00:44:06--> 00:44:08

And I was so much offended

00:44:09--> 00:44:40

by her answer. I said, Your father is a voxel and your mother does nothing. In fact, your father what he does, he brings food to the table. He brings the money but your mother does everything else. Your mother bought your option made you a complete human being. And this is who you are now. Your mother spends most of her time teaching you how to be a proper human being. And you're saying me she does nothing? She's a housewife? She's married to the house. No, she's a homemaker.

00:44:42--> 00:44:44

Have you heard the woman married to a house?

00:44:45--> 00:44:48

Take this word out of the dictionary. There's a thing called housewife.

00:44:49--> 00:44:52

She's the wife of your dad. And she makes a home

00:44:54--> 00:44:55

does not matter to the house.

00:44:56--> 00:44:59

In fact, she does a great job because she's

00:45:00--> 00:45:01

Raising men

00:45:02--> 00:45:11

who become doctors like your that. But if she's out there, and she sends the kids to the daycare listeners, then who's going to be raising the children?

00:45:12--> 00:45:15

Shall I tell you? The TV

00:45:17--> 00:45:17

and

00:45:20--> 00:45:21

shoe shoes?

00:45:22--> 00:45:23

You know, what's

00:45:25--> 00:45:28

the plural of Fufu. And this is the nickname that I give to shaitan.

00:45:31--> 00:45:34

And they are shayateen amongst men.

00:45:35--> 00:45:41

And women here I see mankind, Uncharted, a man's journey, you know who's more dangerous?

00:45:42--> 00:45:45

So I thought of the jinn would just whisper in theory, he

00:45:47--> 00:46:07

runs away, but chatter amongst mankind. Hey, bro, let's go. Just one night. Let's try it out and shower. Check it out. It was nothing. You miss a lot, please, doesn't work, he'll text you doesn't work and use facebook, facebook sends you a message.

00:46:09--> 00:46:13

He will exert every possible effort to drag you.

00:46:15--> 00:46:17

away. Right, right. Yeah.

00:46:20--> 00:46:57

So So how are we as fathers, we think when we go out, as the sister said, My father is a doctor. It brings the money, but my mother does nothing. Alternate turn that system in Sharla when she marries, and she spends time with her kids to come and tell me who's doing the Great job, the father or the mother. And when what Allah subhana wa tada after he said, What was so insane. Today, in sort of a half hour number 15. And we gave a legacy to mankind when it comes to the parents. He started with her mother.

00:46:58--> 00:47:02

His mother first carried him

00:47:03--> 00:47:24

around, the professor was asked who's the most deserving of my companionship. He said your mother. He said. He said your mother. He said, he said your mother. And number four, he said your father. Why the mother three times. And first. And then why the mother the father after the one time think about this?

00:47:26--> 00:47:34

Well law he I would spend 12 hours 24 hours at work. Rather than taking the job of a mother for one day.

00:47:35--> 00:47:45

I'm talking as a father, and those who are married, they know what I'm talking about. I was asked one time, one time to spend two hours with my kids.

00:47:46--> 00:47:47

Two hours

00:47:49--> 00:47:50

I gave up after five minutes.

00:47:52--> 00:47:59

So parallel over here, like you know what I'm speaking, when I'm teaching at the university, I have involved with so many people.

00:48:00--> 00:48:03

Some of them are nice, and some of them are nicer.

00:48:05--> 00:48:06

But you have to put up with everyone.

00:48:08--> 00:48:08

Right?

00:48:10--> 00:48:22

And you learn patience, but sapan Allah, Allah gave mothers patience that he gave no one else with the kids. And you will notice tomorrow when you get married

00:48:24--> 00:48:41

after five minutes when I stayed around with them. I heard a cry but it sounded like somebody who shot with a gun. So I ran and my little one ran and we both crashed midway in the hole as you saw that, you know

00:48:42--> 00:48:46

he said Calm down, calm down, just go and make odo inshallah Makoto.

00:48:49--> 00:48:49

Okay.

00:48:50--> 00:49:00

So it's amazing. I feel like how women know how to control the emotions go up 100 degrees and they go down in less than a second. Mashallah

00:49:02--> 00:49:05

lost tears waiting right here.

00:49:08--> 00:49:25

Anyway, so she went, she made to go and she came back. And Cipolla in less than a second. She went back to the same psychological state. He I said, No, no, no calm down. koneko we're gonna spend the whole day. If you don't come down, you will make up for the rest of your life.

00:49:28--> 00:49:31

So she went back, and she made

00:49:32--> 00:49:39

and came back and she started. I said, Listen, you don't calm down. We're gonna do this. Again and again and again.

00:49:41--> 00:49:45

And I said, so. What's the problem? She said, he

00:49:47--> 00:49:51

passed in front of my desk without my permission. I said, criminal. Bring him here.

00:49:53--> 00:49:59

How can you do this to you to pass in front of your desk without your permission? That's a crime, defined by the United Nations.

00:50:02--> 00:50:10

So he came and surprised a lot when I saw him. I said, so Palawan he came and I see a bruise in his forehead here.

00:50:12--> 00:50:23

I said, What happened is that nobody has warned me that her desk is sacred. So I, I happen to pass in front of it. So she pushed my head against the desk. And that's what I have.

00:50:27--> 00:50:53

And I looked at her, I said, so halala, you did this to him, and you're coming to complain. And that's what we have in Arabic, we say, probably because this is Egyptian dialect, okay, somebody will beat you up, but they rush first to come and complain. So they want the upper hand. Now you are in a defensive position, have to bring in a more powerful case to win or hire a lawyer. And they cost a lot, right.

00:50:56--> 00:51:04

Then she jumped again, because now she's losing the case. She said, but you always told us that whoever starts is wrong.

00:51:05--> 00:51:08

I said, you see, she got me again. What do you think?

00:51:09--> 00:51:15

Like, so what do you want? She said, he has to apologize. I say sorry, to her. He said,

00:51:16--> 00:51:16

I'm sorry.

00:51:19--> 00:51:22

And she said, No, it's not coming from his heart.

00:51:26--> 00:51:32

And I said, Okay, please. It said, Sorry, from my heart.

00:51:35--> 00:51:41

This was the first five minutes that I spent with my three little monkey angels.

00:51:42--> 00:51:45

I was supposed to spend two hours with them.

00:51:46--> 00:51:54

After Hamdulillah, settling the first case, and I closed the court, I said, Okay, go back to your rooms.

00:51:55--> 00:52:17

next five minutes, I heard another screen. I phoned my wife, I left her a voicemail. I said your kids are alone, God be with you. And then please come back. So I left the house. So as I said, as I said, this is we this is why we should appreciate what largely what our mothers have done to us and what they have been doing to us. We have to be patient with them.

00:52:30--> 00:52:32

Isn't it amazing that after she delivers

00:52:34--> 00:52:40

because you always complain? Like my mother didn't this to me, my father didn't buy this to me. After your mother delivers you.

00:52:42--> 00:52:46

She never turns back and say, I'm really in so much pain.

00:52:47--> 00:52:55

Okay. Like Find yourself a temporary mother. Because I'm going to go on vacation for three months.

00:52:56--> 00:52:57

I'm going to go to Langkawi.

00:52:59--> 00:53:01

Have you heard about a mother tongue this?

00:53:02--> 00:53:05

A few hours later, they bring here the baby.

00:53:06--> 00:53:08

Continued job. There's no vacation for you.

00:53:10--> 00:53:14

she'll start breastfeeding the child cleaning the child

00:53:15--> 00:53:16

feeding the child.

00:53:18--> 00:53:21

If the child is up in the middle of the night, she's up all night.

00:53:23--> 00:53:23

Right?

00:53:25--> 00:53:36

And if your mother asks you to do the dishes one time gonna say Am I a servant here? What do you think? Who are you giving me instructions? Am I a slave to you?

00:53:37--> 00:53:52

What about her? Is she a slave to you? Has she ever turned back to you and said you know what? I have put 20 hours in the last couple of days for you. Can you please pay me back? minimum wage 20 minutes Brown?

00:53:53--> 00:53:57

Have you ever heard the mother saying this? They don't expect anything from you.

00:53:59--> 00:54:17

But look at our expectations from them. And the way we treat them Subhanallah so they deserve your respect. And they deserve your patience. And this was the last part that I said, if anything comes out of your mouth, even when they are angry at you without no valid reason. Wonder yelling at you nothing but gracious words.

00:54:20--> 00:54:39

But yet Subhanallah when you and I become teenagers, we show no respect for parents. And we think we become hot. You know blood and we feel like you know, oh, we can figure out the whole world. I know everything. That's right. I know everything that's wrong. Nobody has died correctly.

00:54:41--> 00:54:52

And when you come back late, and your mom couldn't sleep because she wants to make sure that you're safe. Look at her attitude. Look at your attitude when you come back at 2am like

00:54:53--> 00:54:59

Why are you late? You start yelling at her. I told you I think I told you. I'm gonna go out to

00:55:00--> 00:55:09

My friends, were telling me, why do you treat me like a child. I'm growing up now. And he slammed on her face, and he goes to your room.

00:55:11--> 00:55:12

And right away you start

00:55:15--> 00:55:19

instant messages with your friend, man. I hate my mother.

00:55:21--> 00:55:24

Look at the way she treats me. Seems like a baby.

00:55:26--> 00:55:27

She's always blaming me.

00:55:29--> 00:55:36

And then the other one is gonna continue saying, Oh my God, look at my parents. They have a very heavy accent. They don't even understand my language man.

00:55:39--> 00:55:40

sapan Allah?

00:55:41--> 00:55:48

Is that what our parents deserve from us in return? Simply because we, we became like, young men and young woman?

00:55:49--> 00:55:50

Is this what they deserve from us?

00:55:56--> 00:56:00

And then somehow, when she comes back, and she sees you like,

00:56:01--> 00:56:07

on the Facebook or text messaging, backbiting, it's like, No, sir, what are you doing? I'm doing my homework.

00:56:09--> 00:56:15

I shall do your homework, backbiting your parents, putting him down in front of your friends

00:56:17--> 00:56:18

doing your homework.

00:56:19--> 00:56:21

So Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:56:22--> 00:56:34

is telling us we are an oma of gratitude, we should be grateful to our parents. Because Subhana Allah, we are living in a culture of consuming.

00:56:35--> 00:56:40

And this way, one tip for the parents, and that would be parents, do not take your kids

00:56:41--> 00:56:46

to the toy shop. If you want to buy them something, just buy it and bring it to them.

00:56:48--> 00:57:04

Because when you take them there, and they're walking out with two or three toys, they will not see the two or three toys in their hands, they will see the 100,000 toys that are still there. He didn't buy me the whole shop. He even bought me the cheap car.

00:57:08--> 00:57:11

So we should learn how to be grateful to our parents.

00:57:12--> 00:57:15

So Allah subhana wa Taala said, Do not

00:57:17--> 00:57:25

you know, use the rich, reciprocal mentality with your parents, whatever they have done to me, I'm going to do this to them. Remember that Allah says, Allah, Allah, they are

00:57:27--> 00:57:42

not the fact that they contributed to your raising, protecting you taking care of you, even if their job was the biological mother and father, they deserve the level of excellence when it comes to your character, your mercy, your courtesy, when dealing with them,

00:57:43--> 00:57:44

somehow Subhanallah

00:57:46--> 00:57:49

a story about, you know, Wollaton, her humor.

00:57:51--> 00:57:54

And you can go to the YouTube and watch this as a

00:57:56--> 00:57:59

as a clip, just try it on the YouTube spiral.

00:58:00--> 00:58:02

And you will watch this story.

00:58:03--> 00:58:05

It's the story of a man

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who was sitting with his child in the park.

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And his son was 33 years old. And the man was very old.

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And a bird came. And the father started asking the son, he said, What is this is

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a bird that.

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And he said it like in a disgusting way.

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And then the bird moved. And then the dad again said, What is this?

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And he turned to me said that it's a bird be I are the bird.

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What's wrong with you?

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didn't die by your glasses recently. You need to change them a bird. You think that this is funny?

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And then again, the bird moved and the guard against it? What is this?

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So he lost it said that. I'm not gonna talk to you don't think that this is funny, I told you.

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And then

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that went inside and he brought his diary.

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And he opened it on a page and he said to his son, please read this page.

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And it says there when my child that's his child that he's sitting with now as a young man with 33 said when my child turned three, we were sitting in the same Park and a bird came and my son started asking me then what is this? And I smiled I said it's a bird. And then

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when the bird moves you started like following the birds like this.

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What is this? And I smiled again. I said, it's a bird.

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And then the bird started flying behind us. She turned around and said like that, what is that? He said, it's a bird. He said, he asked me 21 times. And every time he asked me, I replied with a smile on my face. And I kissed him on a handheld because I thought that this is something cute.

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But

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I just asked him three times, and he was mad at me.

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Please remember this.

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And this is why our last petal after that said,

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it's a command Allah subhanaw taala says, lower.

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And this is a very good image.

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And the Quran is full of this beautiful language. Allah says and lower for them, the two ways

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of humbleness as soon

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out of feeling mercy for them.

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Allahu Akbar, and this analogy

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would make me ask the question, do we have wings? And this is what the topic says here, right? Mom and Dad, the two wings of mercy, right? Do we have one solid and low? Your wings of humbleness, out of mercy to them? We don't have wings. But Allah say, lower yourself. Lower your ego.

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Don't think highly of yourself and say, I'm independent. Now. I don't need them.

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Out of only one sentiment, which is mercy.

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And Cipolla, why the wings of the bird? It's very powerful. You know why? Because when the bird sees that there is something dangerous is going to happen to it's less, what does it do? It starts spreading its wings, the most valuable asset that they have,

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saying, I want to protect my nest.

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And if anything were to happen, nothing should happen to the ones under the nest, or sorry, the ones under the wings, you know, even if I'm going to lose my most valuable assets, by wings.

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So this is exactly what I was telling us. You know, you have to

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lower those wings

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of humbleness, take anything from them. They're mad at you. They're yelling at you. They're frustrated with you, out of mercy. Not only that, while they're yelling at you, while they're showing the frustration, what should you do?

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The opposite expectation make up for them. They're yelling at me,

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for them.

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So they're yelling at me, they're angry with no valid reason. But my reaction would be, Oh Allah,

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have mercy on them.

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And Allah didn't say,

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bill for lahoma. It will say Oh ALLAH forgive them, because this will imply that they are doing something wrong, which could be the case. But look at the last thing. Don't ever say this because it will imply that you are saying they are wrong. Even if they are wrong. You need to ask Allah for mercy but for forgiveness for them. Why? Kamara Bayani

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the verb Europe be out of which came the word Rob.

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And Rob means in Arabic, the one who creates out of nothing, and provides for his creation, Allah.

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Allah subhanaw taala. And after he creates you and the reason for existence is your parents, he led them, Europe bionic, to educate you and take care of you and protect you. So they are the means that Allah uses for which Allah Subhana Allah to Allah since his mercy, so they have spent all their life all their money, all their efforts to take care of you and protect you when you were young. Now that they are old, what should you do to them?

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That is the question. should take care of them should protect them. Because now they are going back to that stage where they need you.

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It's amazing that we thought about your loved one who's sitting next to the cat about one time and he saw a man doing tawaf carrying his mother.

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So he left everyone and he rushed and he methodically

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to that man

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until he finished that after he finished, they asked him, he said,

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Why did he do this?

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He said, because this man deserves the mercy of Allah because he's being merciful to his mother. So I said, let me be included in that mercy. Just walking next to someone who is deserving the mercy of Allah so May Allah will have mercy on me too.

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If Obama's calling me Tell him I'm busy inshallah.

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There are lots of Allah tala ends this by saying become Matthew for Sukkot.

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Allah subhanho wa Taala knows what's inside you. And when the word neffs is used in the Quran, it's talking about the secrets in your hands.

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intercoolers Turku Sana he in the corner saw saw him

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for in

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Vienna.

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If you are really righteous, if you mean it allows giving you a chance. If you wronged your parents, please remember, this is a chance to go back inshallah tonight and repent

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I'm going to give you tips at the end inshallah.

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So, you have the chance to go back and ask them for forgiveness. And Allah said, if you are really

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a good person was willing to admit his sins and go back.

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And that's the meaning of

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a word, someone who admits his mistakes and goes back to Allah.

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Because some people will be so arrogant. They're gonna say, What are you talking about? I take care of my parents. You're preaching the choir, man. So just go and talk to those who beat up their parents, those who send them to the nursing home. That handler I call them once a year.

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I always emailed them, quote, unquote, when I need money.

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So again,

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Allah says, For those who are righteous, and will be sincere, and are willing to admit their sense that they did not treat their parents the way it should be. The door of forgiveness is open, go back and Alas, Patton said Allah for those who are our been who will admit their sins and go back to Him, He will forgive them. That's what's waiting you from Allah subhanaw taala. Let me conclude by giving us some tips for those who wronged their parents.

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Allah subhanaw taala told us

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an equally valid, valid alien message.

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You have to be grateful and thankful to Allah and also part of it. You should be grateful and thankful to your parents.

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Allah put them together.

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You have to be grateful to me and to your parents. Remember to me is the return. I'm going to ask you Did you listen to this command or not?

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And this was the problem said Rama

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pasa por la is a holiday. Allah is pleased with you, as long as your parents are pleased with you.

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Allah is displeased with you, as long as your parents was displeased with you. And at the very beginning, we said this could be okay two gentlemen, if you take care of them, especially when they're old,

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a man

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Subhana Allah was being beaten by his son next to them during the time of armor.

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And when people saw the young man beating up is that

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they were so disgusted. They said, How dare you do this to your dad, but the dad amaze them by saying, Let him finish.

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Because I did the same thing to my father 25 years ago at the same spot,

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committed in

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whatever you have done

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to your parents, your children will do to

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remember this.

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And this is why I'm the man.

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His name is up the rough man.

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But you all know him as Abu hurayrah adeola one. One time in his life, his mother, you know, called him she wanted him. And Subhanallah

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he says

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to me,

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hello, my mother. I'm coming. But the way he said it, he said it out loud. He can

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This a major sin. And he made Toba out of that. And he brought he brought someone who was a slave, and said, you know, and set him free for the sake of Allah forgive him. Because he said, Here I am my mother, responding to her call in a loud voice. later on today, when the parents talk, we talk back loudly.

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And we yell at them, you don't get it, you don't understand. Am I speaking Chinese here, or Malay?

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SubhanAllah.

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So we need to understand that it's not too late.

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And here are the tips.

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Go back

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tonight, email them, please do this inshallah. email your parents tonight.

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And if your parents are here with you, please make sure that you give them a kiss when you go home and hug

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and kiss their hands and say, Please forgive me.

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I haven't treated you the way I should. Because Allah said Salah, and it's going to be very difficult for me to reach the level of excellence. When it comes to my good character, My Mercy, my respect, and my curtsy will do so please forgive me. For those who are living away from their parents, please. We are 14 hours ahead of them. In Canada, we are, you know, eight to six to seven hours away from them or live in the Middle East.

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Please give them a call and say I love you so much. And please forgive me. If I have wronged you in any way. I'm calling you to say transfer the ring gets what I'm saying. Please forgive me.

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I need your forgiveness more than anything else.

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And for those who are living with their parents, don't think by by doing something in the household, you're doing them a favor.

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Do something extra. Don't wait for the mom to say do the dishes tonight. If this is gonna make her happy, do it every other night. Sometimes when we make our bed or we make our room, you go to your mother and say, I made my bed today. As if you're waiting for us to say thank you so much. I don't know you know how to thank you. I really can't find the words to thank you. You made your own words.

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She has been doing this for years. She can't just say can you please pay me because I've been doing this for years.

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So get out of your way for an extra mile and do something that would really pleased them. Buy them a flower inshallah tomorrow

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and show them your gratitude. Let me conclude to the story. Would you like it to be finished?

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Or would you like to attend the seminar about marriage and I'll finish it there. I'm going to finish it. But here's the beginning.

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profits on the line and Salim

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said, Rahim Allah.

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May Allah have mercy on Jewish, the devout worshiper? No, fuck. If you only had the right understanding of the dean,

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he would have answered the call of his mother, and left his salon.

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He was praying now often, not the father.

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And his mother went all the way out of the city to the outskirts of the city, or like the town where he used to live. He lived in his own place of worship. She wanted to come to go and see him.

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And she called upon him and he was praying.

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And Subhana Allah, he said to himself for obvious allottee only Robbie Salah to me, ami, what should I do? Should I continue playing the novel? Or should I leave the Salah, stop my salah and answer my mother. And then he ended up by continuing his Salah, and he wouldn't answer his mother. So you know, she left and she made against him. She said, Allahu Allah told me to have to re watch movies that are Allah Do not let him die. Before he see before he sees the faces of the prostitutes.

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That was a will to help

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and support all of the people who used to live. And this is apparently happens everywhere in the world today. When people see that you are a righteous person. They get jealous of you. They want to put you down. They want you to be like them. So they try everything possible because this man was a devout worshiper. What they did they hire a prostitute.

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And they said to her, if you try to seduce this man, get him to do something with you. We'll pay you a lot. She went and tried and tried. It didn't work.

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So she went to a shepherd, close by, she slept with him and she got pregnant. And she said, I got pregnant from him.

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And the day came when she delivered her when she delivered. He said, this is from George. So they went to his place of worship and they destroyed it. And they brought him and they wanted to put him in the cross and crucify him. But he said, before he crucify me, please, can I do something? And he did something. And that was his salvation. And at that point, before they did this to him, he saw the faces of the prostitutes, which means that

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of his mother was accepted. What happened after that? If you want to know the details, inshallah, I'll see you in the marriage seminar, inshallah. We'll continue this story. We're going to get some questions from Allah.

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Hola. Hola. Hola. Kareem

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was

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Jana

01:16:41--> 01:16:43

Mattila Miro.

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Nice

01:16:50--> 01:16:52

Bhima FIU

01:16:53--> 01:16:55

in Turku

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in Abu

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Dhabi.