Hope In The Times Of Loss
Date:
Channel: Omar Suleiman
File Size: 89.21MB
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AI Generated Summary ©
The host of a breathless death webinar discusses the importance of understanding death and processing emotions, emphasizing the need for empathy and acceptance of loss. They stress the negative impact of actions on one's body and mental health, and emphasize the importance of providing guidance and input on one's past experiences. The course is designed to provide exposure to various topics and encourage individuals to take advantage of it.AI Generated Transcript ©
I'm always in
how could I forget that She guided me to this thing and for that brings us to the behind me
I'm blessed. Chambliss raises
me.
I'm blaming stampless phrases to the wrong bill.
I want to thank you, I want to praise you in my brains, my sacrifice and
I want to thank you, I want to praise you in my prayers, my sacrifice.
I want to thank you I want to praise you in my prayers, my sacrifice and
I want to thank you I want to praise you give my prayers my sacrifice and not for you.
Dum
Dum,
dum
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I'm feeling good waking up today got to say thanks to Allah forgive me Jana de Allah for the breath debris do the trees back to me. Can you see I'm living live in
the sunshine and down on the perfectly currently feeling the breeze mom's and the cloud give it shade to me rain for me
grow in the food that I eat. And we could never count your blessings every second so many lessons got me turning to the heavens. Thanks so he for creating me shaping me sustaining
praises to the bid on me.
I'm blessed Douglas raises to the rock me I'm glad stampless praises to the wrong bit.
I got a thank you for my eyes and my thighs and my toes and my nose and mouth and my lips and my smile and my ears and my fears and my mind and my time and my and my friends and my bones and my drums and my health and my well then the love in my life and the fact that you sent me a beautiful line or the good and the bad for the string that I had for my mom mammoth dad so much more I could add. You give and forgive while we get and forget to the Lord of the worlds we are always in
how could I forget that She guided me to this thing. And for that reason Sue though, blind me
I'm blessed. I'm blessed.
Me I'm blessed. I'm blessed praises to the bill.
I want to thank you I want to praise you in my brains my sacrifice and
I want to thank you I want to praise you in my prayers my sacrifice
want to thank you I want to praise you in my brains must sacrifice and
I want to thank them I want to praise you give my prayers my sacrifice and love for you
we're gonna look at that.
We're gonna look at that.
Good week enough to look at that to say thanks to Allah. Forgive me, Jana.
For the breath debris, you do the trees back to me. Can't you see? I'm living live in
the sunshine and down on the radio everyone I sit down with AIG and what I have with a lot and welcome to our last breath online sponsored blessitt Exit Webinar Series. This is going to be our final final iteration or final session. We
Thanks, Jeff, I will be signing in with the law. And of course we have our lesson guest Jeff Omer cinnamon joining us for today's topic light in Las, it's an honor to have all you guys back with us, Marshall, I know many people are coming back, who watched the first few sessions that we had at first couple of sessions. And now in Handa, we're doing our finale. But of course, this is not the end of our journey. This is just a taste of some of the, you know, intensive important, you know, essential topics that we're covering in our last breath online course, through an Maghrib Institute, we're honored to be able to bring that, you know, to bring that to you guys and Hamdulillah. And to
be able to facilitate that in this form of quality and this for my presentation. And in this heavy hitting seminar that we've created that we're super proud of presenting to you guys and Hamdulillah. This is supposed to cut this class covers everything that you need to know about death about funeral rites and inheritance in Islam. When you get access to last breath when you register through the link that you see in your description if you're online or the one that will be dropped shortly into the chat, you get 30 hours of content on cut down on lessons that are covering so many things but some of them are late stage sickness, some of it is writing wills, your final moments, your Ghosal
and shrouding JIRA Janaza and burial Islamic Guidance on grief and emotional support and visiting graves, navigating inheritance issues and so much more. And of course, you have our teachers if I was at Santa Monica law, who managed to do that in a way that brings you know some lightness to the topic that makes you feel confident that that focuses on the on the essentials without you know making this a class Subhanallah we used to say this and in virtual but surprisingly for a class on death. It's somehow avoids being depressing and really sad and down while still honoring those feelings of grief that that people experienced, experienced. So we're really happy to to bring that
to you and to have our blessing guests from the Lila joining us for this final iteration to have you all with us. Please feel free to share on social media where you're coming in from tag your friends shared across your whatsapp groups, your telegram groups, your Vipers whatever else there is out there inshallah so as many people as possible can benefit from this because truly, it's an essential subject and the shift comments on this and others say as well, that's a pilot feels like death is increasing. And especially as we're as an ummah watching a genocide right now and seeing images of death just inundating us and trying not to get numb to them, it's really important for us to put it
all into perspective and to make sure that we are also prepared for our own ends. And this is why this course has been so so essential for us to put together. Now I know what Chef he is with us to get us kicked off and to get started. But really briefly, I want to share another little bit of a snippet of the experience with you guys before we inshallah jump right in to the session itself in the interview with Dr. Umar cinnamon in sha Allah.
Bear with me.
Give me one second, so much for that. There we go. We're going to look at death. The statistics around that the analysis of various cultures and religions and political trends as well. Nearly everyone in the West will go on to some form of either a ventilator or some form of assisted support when it comes to these moments. And when should that happen? What should not happen? When do you turn the machine of big big questions the death process itself, the moments before it our adept towards ourselves, Adam towards the one who is dying, controlling the environment, the emotion intelligence required Islamic requirements, and then death itself and then everything that happens
afterwards. And often Fallout dealing with the mourning the grieving the specific members of the family that have specific responsibilities in that mourning, and grieving then the hack of the deceased How quick is quick how how many processes do we need to skip and avoid such as post mortem and investigations and legal problems, then the washing of the body preparation of the body, the caffeine and all of the rules around that. And then the janazah prayer and all the different forms of that we spent a lot of time in graveyards and not just studying the graves but also the different rulings associated with a different form of graveyard that we are in and Atticus of visiting the the
deceased in the graveyards and the length of time and the practices that we should do that understanding inheritance and understanding the not just the fact that there are rights to that wealth, protecting my worth before I pass away. And then when I do to make sure that my inheritance get there, right, every single household should have this class, you got to make sure that that information gets out to them. This is fundamental, obligatory knowledge that will literally affect everyone, everyone, I pray that you benefit from it does that Kamala here
and again, just a snippet of what you're going to experience in sha Allah and last breath, it's dropped there in the chat for you guys to click on inshallah and you'll see that in your descriptions on YouTube and wherever you're watching from so without further ado, that was a long intro, but we wanted to make sure you're nice and flat because this is going to be a beautiful session and intensive and in much necessary one. So I'm going to bring on shift E salmons Allah, our host inshallah for today's session as salaam one ache and what happened the last shift? How are you doing today? salovaara whatsoever. capslock manifesto. So I appreciate you being here. And I also
appreciate what you said as well because
you just mentioned something and I completely forgot about that one.
I in my head that that's something that I should mention in this session as well, that that how numb people are. And
just at the amount of death that they are seeing and hearing within their local families and communities, but then on my wife as well, and I was going to speak about that, but I was just it just that you made me.
You made something pop off in the head that that numbness, people would sometimes celebrate that as a good result, but in our deen is unacceptable. And I know that shakaama is gonna definitely, you know, go into that and I really want him to explore that but medical office because I couldn't have ever seen that course and shall I'm gonna pass it off to see if there's a lot to discuss and we'll be here in the background to support me now let's jump in a couple feet between Laquan Rahim Al hamdu lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah salam ala carte, Leviticus, everybody, I hope you're well, hope so it is right actually, this class is a very kind of heavy and intense class, but we
don't need to be so depressed during it. And even in the teaching of it, and in the our demonstrations and whatever.
They are very heavy. They are obviously because this subject is obviously not something that you delight and have fun and jokes about. But there are ways to be able to teach subjects and approach subjects that don't always have to be completely cry eyes out and depressing butts pounder,
I guess a combination or a mixture of various generations at war with one another. And I mean, Generation X, the baby boomers, the millennials versus Gen Z, and how we all attack one another over how we process emotions, how we are either weak snowflake is the phrase I guess of the those folks and then those that are of the older generations, emotionless and robots, and stiff British upper lip, for example, all these kind of cliches, that that represent certain generations, it really is a fascinating area, about how Muslims should approach the concept of, of grieving,
how they should approach the concept of sadness, how they should approach the concept of seeing things that they don't like. And I have been speaking about this subject even outside of the fact of death, just generally the concept of negativity, I think they call it I am not very ofay with the kind of the fashionable phrases Shahana is gonna have to hold help me out with that he's a, he's a is a guy who's got the finger on the pulse. But is it positive toxicity? I think that's the phrase that people just only want to hear good news all the time. And they kind of shut out the everything, which is the opposite. And, you know, there's obviously an advantage to having lots of positivity
and interviews. Eliza Lim used to love the optimistic word and everything to be kind of looking to a good future and the longer game and the not the immediate battle. But though the wider war and all of these Islamic concepts. However, the idea that we cut off the reality that we are observing to such a level that it just starts to hurt us every negativity that we come across every sadness that we come across, that what we sometimes call desensitization, or as you said earlier on, which is going numb to the whole idea, and we just scroll straight through this is completely unacceptable. And it happens when people do fall into positive toxicity, where you only insist on having a an
exposure to a very happy and positive life because life is not meant to be that. And I would put forward as in this short introduction, that as you would have seen some of the clips that have been released from the class that are in the market of social media channels, that ultimately, our perception is at fault here. Good Dean, good Islamic principles, good fundamental foundations are what will bring a person to a better realization of reality and an ability to be able to handle negativity I always remember I always remember when I used to study a lot more than I do now, with my first and my main and dominant teacher, shake your hand through the whole loan to Isla. I was
just struck by just how much loss that he went through and how many people of his family were killed, tortured.
Dying of natural causes people that were close to him people that were not so people that were dependent upon him. And I was struck when I was a lot younger, just how he was able to reframe everything, and not avoid anything and give everything it's hot but not allow it and not allow any of this to affect him. And you'll see our earliest scholars, they speak about this skill. It's been taking me up here
Sibley has the most beautiful, and the most perfect summary to my mind something that I live by. And when I say I live by, I made a gaffe the other day. I don't know whether America is going to add gaff is God Gaffin American word you know, when you mess up something? Is that no All right, so you know when you like mess up right publicly supported gaff in English. In England anyway, GA WFE made a gaffe the other day where I said in a video that I've seen my fair share of deaths, fair share of bad news. And that's a very common kind of phrase to use the word fair share, I think as an English phrase that we all use our fair share this version of that, yeah. But actually, if we dissect this
concept, or this phrase, this is going into butter, and Allah and the idea and the arrogance Subhanallah to believe that you have had a fair share of anything from Allah Subhana Allah is decree is complete cover. Actually, I realized after I said it, I got what a stupid thing to say. What who's to determine objectively, what is the right amount of I could see a death of one of my family members every single day, and I haven't had a 1% of the fair share of what is happening to the to the Muslims in Gaza, for example, right? What who, who determines the average or the normal, the median level of a share, for me to say fair share, and it just goes again, to show that the kind of
dominant language of a culture we can soak up and we can then express and we don't realize actually how wrong that that idea and that concept might be. And the point that I wanted to make is that when it comes to the ability to reframe, and to understand the wider picture, to understand the that this life, and fundamentally this is the skill that this life is meant to be doubted if Taylor, deputies do the abode, the entirety of life is meant to be about trial and test and problem and headache and grief and distress all of it. And encapsulated perfectly by just a single phrase of the province, Eliza Lim, when he said that this dunya is sigil movement sigil movement. And here's the problem. If
you said before, and up until very recently, that it is sigil Moltmann, the prison of the believer, then everyone would have got this. But today of course, I'm even this is a misunderstood phrase. Because it's when you say surgeon and Lachman prisoner believer, people are thinking of some Scandinavian model, or somewhere in Norway, where you've got like a five star service and everyone's looking out for you and this kind of liberal approach to a prison. I want you to think of something in Ecuador, or something in you know, whatever kind of trope that you can think of, you know, the ones where you get absolutely destroyed every single day, Colombian, whatever discipline like that
once you get thrown in but basically death is better than anything else. The worst experience possible a pro like a lot what a prison should be not some luxury hotel, but where everything is a misery where you are being
tortured every day where you are, obviously your freedoms gone, and it's the workplace on
possible that is meant to be the reality of our life. And when you think that that is meant to be the base starting point, the default position that our life is meant to be decision and Jen natural character are meant to be the absolute buzzing moment of the kuffar. You then realize the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala, the absolute Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala when your everyday it doesn't feel like a torture and a madness and a complete depressive episode of manic levels. Every day that is not like that. You should stop to yourself and think today should have been like that, because the person lies and I'm told me that that's what it should have been like that today. But it wasn't
because Allah Subhana Allah had mercy upon me, the default position of our day is misery,
torture, stress trial and the like.
On the other side, when you see the kuffar getting punished in this dunya, in this dunya, for their actions, you should realize that that's a bonus that you didn't deserve. Because this is their agenda. They're meant to win win. Like Trump says, We are winning, we are winning, we are winning, you know what you're meant to be winning, enjoy it. Enjoy how incredible then, when you're meant to be winning, you claim you're winning and your life is a misery, your life is fear. Your life is not sure about anything, your life is part of same part and parcel of the other illnesses and the stresses that everybody else in society goes through. There's so much to dissect, in the way that we
experienced the loss that we have, if you put it into the right framework, if you reset your perception anyway, that's what I wanted to say. We're gonna leave the rest of it for q&a. and the like. I'm so happy that she accepted my invitation. I spoke to him recently. I was with him in November. And I said to him that one thing I would really appreciate is a personal perspective on losing someone close, many of you know, because he has spoke very eloquently about this before about the past.
In his mother rahamallah early in his life, and so there's, you know, everyone suffers loss. But there are the big losses, and a personal perspective on that is so valuable. And so I want to explore a bit about that. And he was also gracious enough to allow me to question on one or two things as well, because I do think that many of you will be able to not just take benefit of how to do a personal loss. But then the big thing at the moment, because there is personal loss where you are personally specifically affected because of someone someone you know very well. But there are almost equivalent pain to process when you see the OMA level loss. And I know that certainly I've
been speaking about that in our own classes. And I know that Omar has been doing more public kind of material and clippers on the importance of understanding, you know, and resetting. What you're seeing in terms of the horrific images and the horrific realities that we see from
So anyway, I'm gonna let him
take kind of free rein on that.
Just Allah cut a check, no matter if you are good enough to Bismillah to start.
I'm sorry, come around Solana Castle, was like a hush, hush, where isa for having me and my law reserves or Lord you for teaching this class and they lost contact and bring through it much benefit and allow people to grieve with perspective and to grieve with faith in non NYT seven, with faith and with seeking the reward and may Allah have mercy on all of your loved ones. And when we say Allah, Allah,
may Allah Azza did magnify the reward of all of those who are grieving the loss of their Shahadat and our people in a zoo right now in Philistine Allah. I mean,
I was really, you know, I think that will be most beneficial shots as when we have sort of a conversation and more of a discussion. But I'll just put forth Actually, I'll start with something that happened just this past weekend. I wrote about it a small note.
So I'll give you all just Subhanallah a perspective. On Thursday, I went to visit an uncle of mine, Uncle Sharif tema, when I say an uncle, not, not an uncle in the physical sense, obviously,
an elder in the community. He was someone Subhanallah when I was in New Orleans, he was one of the pioneers of the masjid, the Islamic school and the cemetery. And particularly when I was the Imam there for six years, every time someone would pass away, back then prior to the digital,
you know, ways about going, or ways that we go about things. Now, he had this binder, and he bring it to the mountain, we'd sit in the morning, and we choose a grave plot, every single time someone passes away, and we had a process in place to call the funeral home, to make sure the hustled was arranged between him and me, we would arrange for the washers of the body. And all of the logistics, sometimes you have a person that passes away, that doesn't have the finances to cover their own janazah SubhanAllah. And, you know what a world where even dying is expensive, like and it was really something else where you would see someone that couldn't afford to pay for their funeral,
right, and they didn't have family to pay for their funeral and I witnessed him at times, by the way paying out of pocket for their funeral expenses. So we prepared together for death and I'd say he did most work.
You know, maybe over 100 people over those six years Subhanallah
but that Allah Masha Farad he passed away here in Dallas with his kids. So Thursday I went to visit there wasn't much time that was left.
According to the doctors, he's been sick for some time.
So I'm in the hospital, kind of coming to his last moments and then Friday, Friday night Allah subhanaw taala decreed that he would take his last breaths and it was literally at the time that I got to the hospital. It was at that time aligned with decreed that his last breaths would just have been taken. Saturday we do his janazah now I want to talk about this inshallah Tada for for a moment
when Sheikh Mohammed Al Sharif passed away, Rahim Allah, you know, one of the things that was very important to mention to people and I think Sheikh Mohammed would have been one of the first people to remind you is that a legend is not always known amongst the people. The celebrities of the heavens are often the unknown people of this earth. And you know, when Sheikh Mohammed passed away, Rahim Allah, We rightfully remembered him, not because he was a great speaker. I want that to be very clear, not because he was a great speaker.
This uncle Sharif Chima, Rahim Allah
was unknown to most people. In fact, here in Dallas, you know, half of New Orleans have felt like flew into Dallas to be a part of his job.
As just so happens at the masjid where we pray to NAS on him.
The Imam of the masjid is email. Nan Bashir, who is the Imam before and after me in New Orleans and now lives in Dallas as well. So he and I were two Imams that served with Uncle Sharif to prepare people for death. And then here we were now preparing his janazah together in Dallas, and Subhanallah having his burial in a cemetery that he didn't invest in.
Half of the most of that was from New Orleans and half of the budget had no idea who this person was and just knew from the things that we were saying about him that he was a great man
and his son, who was a half of the Quran and mashallah his children are beautiful, beautiful people, mashallah, I mean, his family shines with the way that he was, they all kind of inherited an aspect of his personality, and you can see it, a son loves the Quran. And as a half of the Quran, mashallah with a beautiful voice. So one of his sons were saying, you know, if you would have told me 20 years ago that when he would pass away,
of the Rama, and Rama would be at the janazah would say, of course, who else would be at the janazah? But if you would have told me, it's in Dallas, you know, we would have said, subhanAllah, how does that even happen? But he talked about him that and the fact that you had such testimony of people, for him, and he said, It is a moment of what's giving us comfort and joy right now is seeing the amount of people coming forward with the testimony, the testimony, the testimony, the shahada, the shahada, the shahada, he did this for me, he did that for me, you know, I remember when we did this as a community 2030 years ago, and then the individual stories, you know, he helped me out when
no one else would help me out. Those are the types of things that make your life worth it. And so, when you think about death, and when you think about grieving, and you think about what you're actually grieving in the first place, there are two things you could be grieving, or actually, there are few things you could be grieving, when someone passes away, you could be grieving your bad relationship. Right? And that's sometimes devastating. And it really is, and I tell people this all the time, and I remind myself that, look, that person that you're quarreling with one day, that might be your neighbor in the graveyard, right? That's just someone in the community, you know, get
through this. And this is the month of Shabbat, and we're coming into Ramadan, Clear that out, get rid of this, it's not worth it's not worth it, you might, you might end up being neighbors in the graveyard? How would you feel most of us just by the fitrah that we have inside of us, if we were to get the news that so so passed away, we would feel sympathy? And if we were close by, we'd go to the janazah Why do you have to wait for the janazah to answer the call, when that person's name is brought up? Why not call that person now and reconcile so the grief could be that you you died on bad terms or that that person died on bad terms. It could be worse, which is apparent, someone that
was close to you that you're responsible for as an Imam, when
I have prepared the janazah I often have found that at the janazah the child that is losing his mind or her mind and throwing themselves into the grave and you know, throwing themselves onto the coffin and you know, is usually a child that I happen to know how to bad relationship with their parents. Their parents struggled with them, trying to call them back to Allah subhanaw taala and the lies is that illustrates to us that pain when I lost contact says whether the pilot Rewari they often lack uma Attari donnini, an author Raja waka, the quality and Peruvian poverty. Well Houma yesterday then Allah, we look at Armand in our either lying halfway, Apolo Mahara in ourselves, we are winning,
that, you know, especially that conversation with a parent was trying to remind the child of Allah subhanaw taala. And the child was turning away from Allah subhanaw taala. and, by extension, turning away from their parents, particularly warning them and telling them to get get serious, get their lives together. And they didn't do it in time. And so that's something for all of us to wake up to that reality. Look, you know,
you might not have the opportunity to apologize to your parent, to apologize to your loved ones. Make sure that every single day, it's not just on a personal level, that you die every night and you prepare yourself for death every single night because you might not wake up it's also that that person might not wake up. Right? So it has a dimension of your relationship with the last parents that you go to sleep with your heart at ease with Allah subhanaw taala at peace with law as origin on your earth calm, not dying in a state of disobedience. And at the same time that that other person might not wake up or you might not have the opportunity in this life, to apologize to that
person. So don't wait for that. Right. Imagine the moment that you
lose them. And we should have learned through COVID, we should have learned through so many of these different things that have happened over the last few years. How quick and unpredictable. This all really is, right? So sometimes the grief is over that my transgression, and I should have, I should have done better. Sometimes the grief is knowing about the sinfulness of the person, knowing something about the person that's also really hard, by the way. Subhanallah I mean, look, I want to speak from the vantage point of someone that has had to bury people. And I know shuffler, Isa has had to bury more people than I've had to bury, Psych when you go back and you recall those
conversations and you're like, you know, where that person was sinful, or you know, something negative about the person, it's hard. And you have to make your app for that person, that ALLAH forgive them. But sometimes the grief is knowing that that person, you know, their life was,
was not one in which they were doing the deeds that were pleasing to Allah subhanaw taala, at least in an obvious way, and at least in the ways that we observed before they passed away, maybe they repented before they passed away.
But then sometimes the grief and this is the grief that is the grief of the Prophet salallahu Salam, the grief is just missing the person. Right? The grief is not that you know, this person is
the grief is not just that this person is,
you know, or it's not about the idea that this person has gone to a place that is worse, but I'm just going to miss this person. Right? We feed off to them because we're not right. We're sad over your departure.
That type of grief is something that the Prophet sly son had as a direct extension of the rockin on his heart, Allah put that in our hearts. So we're supposed to feel grief out of missing people, that sunnah, right, we miss people when they leave this world. That's part of who the prophets like someone was and as part of the document that Allah puts in our hearts, you don't shut that part off of you. Right. But the comfort that comes that that governs that mercy is then trusting that Allah subhanaw taala has mercy is greater than your mercy. Right, so the mercy that I feel when that person passes away, of missing that person,
and the mercy that I felt when that person was here, the love and the compassion that I felt towards them, is not greater than the love and compassion and mercy that Allah subhanaw taala has for his a bat. Therefore I am in trusting this person back to Allah subhanaw taala giving this person back to Allah subhanaw taala and if I love that person, truly then I love what's in their best interest.
And if it's what's in their best interest is to be in the care of Allah subhanaw taala then I'm content with that, even if I'm still missing them, even if I'm still grieving. And so that was that was the power of the words that were said. By a bedwin to love not about so the Allahu Anhu Matt when his father passed away when Ambassador Delano passed away, Paula Edelman and Ambassador DeLuca wala hieromonk bus, that what is better for you than an ibis than having your father is the edge of the reward after your father has passed away the reward if you are patient,
after your father has passed away, well lo Hiram Inca, the lambdas and Allah is better than you for Al Abbas. These were the words Subhanallah that another personal friend that I posted the picture of his son where they're after the one another legend in the communities panel is someone that has built some schools. It's been the principles of Islamic schools that's gone around and set up communities. He and his wife, Sister Hanifa lost their beautiful son Hattie and Paola just so happened by the way that had the
had these younger sisters usara so Subhanallah look at the names the cover,
how the had become, you know, as a young man who passed away in a motorcycle accident leaving salatu Juma may last pantile accept him as a Shaheed so this is last this is two Fridays ago and then uncle Sharif passed away this Friday. He passed away two Fridays ago uncle Sharif, this right here these 21 Uncle Sharif is at one, you know, And subhanAllah had he had really, you know, started to not that he was a bad kid prior but like really had an intense interest in Deen in his last year and a half two years of his life and was actually bringing young people to the masjid bringing young people to Halaqaat he actually attended to Juma hours on the day of his death, the gym or the mass
sensor and then he went to the gym I was MSA and then was leaving that gym so Sinhala to Juma was on that day was someone that would literally halacha Chase lecture chase around the city of Dallas so he'd be at my halacha and then he would go to columns Halaqaat he'd go over to Epic Masjid he'd go over. So he's he was one of those halacha chasers I mean And that's beautiful. 21 year old who literally
He chases around lectures and does things with other kids. Beautiful, beautiful, right?
And when he passed away somehow I've been seeing all these young people that are now coming close to Allah subhanaw taala that are turning another level with their religiosity after he passed away. So I was asking his father You know, when and his mother when you named him had the what did you have in mind so that's how there was no one in our name in our family named had the note you know, which means, you know, to guide obviously be guided, guided and guiding, no one in our family, it would just it was just something that came to both of us it wasn't like a strong preference for either one of us who just came to both of us to name him that way. And it just so happens that his younger
sister is your slot is ease, they lost paths that make her a source of ease for her parents Allama I mean, so how the is becoming a source of guidance. Of course Allah is the ultimate source but through His death, a catalyst Subhan Allah for many young people right now in the Dallas area, that are turning back to Allah subhanaw taala are getting closer to a loss put on his sister as a source of ease. May Allah bless that beautiful, beautiful family and in the graves next to him. And I'll end with this shift and then we can just have a discussion. Charla in the graves next time, you can see the numbers, right, the birth and death here. So he was born 22,002 2024 is his is the year of
his death, the graves next to him 1939.
You know, born in 1939, born in 1942, born in 1945, born in 1951. And then you have this young man's home that situated between them. And one of the things there's like the grief of his parents, and they're beautifully grieving about a Columbia Law and give them beautiful patients. But they're setting an example in their grief as well, unless perhaps I bless them. You know, losing a child is is way different from losing a parent, you know, the natural order, whatever that means. And shake up feel free to because you're paying attention to these terms is like going to love her when he said fair share. Those are things I would say without even paying attention. But the way the natural
order, if you will, the way that we usually go about things is that it's expected that at some point you bury your parents, but no one expects to bury their children. No one expects to bury their children. All right, everyone kind of has a hunch that at some point, I'm supposed to bury my parents, no one expects to welcome their children into this world and then send them out of this world. But it happens Subhanallah and one of the things that you have to say to someone like that
it was worth it. Like it was worth your 21 years to my beloved brother after the one and to his wife and two is their daughter usara and two, Imani who passed away in the UK and a lost parent except her and make it easy for her parents for them. And yes mean it was worth it, like everything you poured into your child, what did you get out of that child? Right? Bitten in it, tada a person waiting for you in front of the gates of Jannah
that will pull you in. And, you know, the memories of this dunya right the memories of this life and all the joys that you actually had in this life, as you said shaped like we don't have, we shouldn't place these expectations on Allah subhanaw taala like these Nam belong to us and then he took them away in the Lula he Alpha one Alpha, right, like Allah took away would already belong to Him. So you didn't you didn't possess that person in the first place. So the days that you had that person that was a gift from Allah subhanaw taala that was a blessing that you did nothing to deserve in the first place. Right, that was from an Wahab to you. You had that person for however many days you had
that person Eliza jug took them away. And at the very least and and I'll conclude with this, you know, when the profit slice alone, mentioned
in the Hadith pudsey that Allah azza wa jal has says, has said many, many are indeed as either Kobato Sophia on the dunya that know what my servant does not have any reward when I take their selfie their chosen one their selfie, someone they love, and that could be your parent that could be your child that could be your sibling, your your closest friend, and then that person is patience and seeks to reward that person does not have a reward with me except that Jana paradise. So
the company of that person can make life more easy for you more pleasing to you. But the death of that person can be the reason for your Jannah in the Hereafter, if you interact with their death properly, so you interact with them in this life, hopefully worshiping Allah together, but enjoying what is huddled together. You know, there's a reason why we weren't created alone, but with people around us and they could be a source of goodness for you here but again, their death could be your Jana and the hero
After, and we ask Allah subhanaw taala that for our parents or our our loved ones that have passed away that Allah azza wa jal accept them and to Jana and that he made them a means by which we enter into Jana as well by our patients and various seeking reward when we lose them, llama I mean, I mean, is that clear? And I'd love to come back to that actually to explore or how do we, as you said, properly, deal with debt passing so that we can use that death as a form of gender, because I think that's a very interesting subject. Now on the specific,
I read about it as well. And I read about Uncle Schumer as well.
May Allah have mercy upon them. And it's, as you said,
Every community is having a loss like this all the time. And it's remarkable how similar the situation is everyone will be able to speak like you have about that particular uncle, that particular young person, which which, again, goes to show that this is a very normal reality. And it needs to be processed in a normative way, if you don't know how to process this, and you have only some errors in the processing system, then it will only produce a greater loss or greater regret for exactly everything that you said. Now, obviously, I wanted to tap into your experience with your mother and your love mercy upon her. Her story, obviously is well known pretty much I'm guessing
everybody would have seen those key that certainly two videos only one video. And they can and I really would advise folks to to review that. I guess I want to ask one or two direct questions, keeping in mind time. And the fact that I do want to speak about the shahada as well. The first I would say what would be your number one advice to folks who are suffering because of a loss that you have learned, in your experience of dealing with that loss, your number one piece of advice.
My number one piece of advice would be to think about how to incorporate them into your life differently.
Rather than grieve over them not being in your life, the way that you were familiar with.
And so I still think about my mom every day, and she's a part of me every single day, and she drives something that I'm doing every single day.
She's She Central, right? So instead of going and visiting her at her home, I visit her grave, instead of calling her I make her out for her instead of, you know, giving her a gift. I give sadaqa. For her, right? Like there's a point where my number one advice is, there's a way that you can incorporate that person into your life. That is a substitute for how you used to incorporate them in your life before and find those ways, and then act upon those ways. They'll help you not just deal with the grief, but the paralysis that can come with their death. And they will benefit that person as well. So it's benefit for them, and benefit for you. So that's the first incorporate
them into your daily life. incorporate them into your daily life the way that you used to have them before,
then it makes a lot of sense for someone that color hair for someone who is personal family, or someone who's a very close friend. What would you then extend from that advice to the OMA level? How would you summarize that point because it makes sense to move and expand that when we see the level of loss. And I think the shocking nature of that loss, as we've been seeing, especially with the children, especially with the kind of images over the last week, and so on, how would you be telling folks to incorporate that into their lives.
Now shirts of how long that one, and I want you to, you know, sort of maybe fill in where we're maybe I'm falling short, or maybe I'm looking at something from a very specific angle.
With a helluva in particular, and with the amount of death that we're seeing.
I almost like I feel worse for those who survive
than I do those who die.
Those who are shahada, there's a comfort that Allah subhanaw taala is taking care of them now and that they don't feel the pain anymore. You have to you have to imagine that conversation that Allah azza wa jal documented, you know, we forget the ayat insert earlier and run
our tests when our tests are going under the iniquity visa we rely on what's been going on and there'll be hundreds upon very Henry Martin them along and probably until the end of it.
You know, that that do not say of those who have been killed, or who had been martyred, that they are dead rather they are alive and alive as a result of providing for them. So the haina The mountains are home alone and falling right they're happy now and
they're pleased with what alas pants is bestowing upon them. They're waiting for their relatives, their loved ones to join them. That was a conversation with the show had that had right where the show had wanted their relatives that were left behind to know that they were okay to know that they were that they were being taken care of. So the fact that it's recorded as a conversation, or as a result of a conversation in the Quran, the ayat of the shahada, like when people are shahada, and because
I don't look at the state of their bodies after they've been martyred. I don't look at the numbers, the casualty count, I feel sad for the negligence that has led to their death. But at the same time, I feel content with their Shahada. I feel almost worse, actually, I do feel worse for those that are missing limbs and loved ones, and they're still living in the starvation and the misery and the psychological torture, if at all.
And so processing that means Stopping, stopping the atrocity as much as possible being part of whatever effort and part of that effort is there out. In fact, it's the greatest effort is due out for those that are still alive. So when it's personal loss, it's, it's more of like, how do I get on with life now that that person's not here and do what's best for their afterlife in my afterlife, when it's not personal loss? When it's people that are dying far away, that are being oppressed? And, you know, I it's more about how do I take care of those that are left behind because they lost their personal loved ones. And because they've lost many personal things. So it's almost like
directing the empathy towards them towards, towards what's still left. It also gives a lot of context that idea like if you save one life, it's as if you saved all of mankind, let me tell you something, if you know one person who has a right now,
if you know one person in the desert right now, personally, if you have, if you have someone that you get on the phone with,
then you are doing everything that you possibly can to try to save that person. And by extension, I Leza the people was like, I want this to stop. And I am so personally invested in it because of that one person that I talked on the phone with, and the most horrifying thought is calling that person tomorrow and finding out that they've actually been martyred as well, or that something terrible as something more terrible has happened to them. So if if all of my efforts could manifest simply in saving that person, then it's all worth it. But that's because I'm talking to someone, I have the phone number, right, I have someone on WhatsApp, I'm actually, you know, when US hospitals being
attacked, there's actually someone in there that you're messaging, it's different than it's not, it's not numbers, it's not even just the members of your OMA that you see there. And so, as an ummah, I think that
what we have to do is we have to make sure that we treat this genocide different than we've treated anything that's happened before in our lives, you know, and they said, like, COVID is a defining moment in this generation, those people that lived I think it was as a defining moment for us to really find ourselves, you know, what it means to be committed to something,
you know, beyond just the new cycle beyond the few days beyond a few weeks beyond a few months, so, again, personal level, like if I lose someone personally, then I'm grieving my loss. And if I lose a group somewhere else, then my attention is more so focused on those that are grieving their losses and stopping those losses as much as I can, you know, going forward.
I want to ask you a question, you know, that obviously, were slightly different generations, because of age. And you know, that I will often
quite easily put my foot in it when it comes to the way that I speak whereas you'd be far more careful for your for your kind of you know, audience and whatever. One of the very interesting areas which we actually covering class are cliches and the phrases that people say to those that are suffering or just generally around how you perceive not perceive sorry, how you express your your opinion or your express your emotions on a particular subjects. So for example, for death for me.
Is it because it's happened so many times? Is it because I have a very different kind of upbringing with respect to it.
I kind of a lot of people might see the way that I approach it as quite flippant and light.
What what do you say about those that feel insulted with certain statements that you make in order to try to help them
process that grief, there's a whole chapter in this issue of grieving. The idea that you said to a person Listen, man, he played good innings, right? This is what we say normally in the UK because innings is about cricket and it's like, you know, he did it he did well, or, you know, she she had a full life.
Or listen, Ill care will get better, it will get, you know, time will heal. And there are a lot of people that take these kind of phrases very, very personally. And as I said, my generation of folks couldn't care less if people get upset at things like that as your problem in wanting to get upset at everything. Your generation might be a little bit more empathetic and sympathetic to people getting insulted at certain phrases that they see as bad. I just want to know your opinion how you know how careful should we be in with our best intentions trying to help someone but putting a foot in it because they get upset at it like has someone done that with respect to you and obviously a
long time ago with your mom but yeah, you know what I mean? I still remember
you know, so I tell people this and let's see if we agree on this or not but I mean so look people will not remember what you said as much as they'll remember how you made them feel right that's kind of like the rule right?
There were people that gave me a hug when my mom passed away and I never forgot that hug because I felt the genuine grief the genuine comfort the genuine presence
but there aren't arm around me were kind of there. And they didn't say much but Subhanallah their presence was was deeply comforting because I knew that like they were really feeling it because of their love for her or their love for Me or whatever it may be right but there was something there.
So I would say presence is deeply important and sometimes you really don't have to say anything like you don't have to say much at all stick to the Sunnah in terms of how you comfort right? So how you say things to people, right? Make your art for them mentioned their good qualities. These are all things that are comforting. I mean look, I think most people are comforted when someone comes up and says your mom your Dad Your brother your sister did this for me when no one else would you know they used to do this they used to do that. They mentioned good qualities that maybe you didn't even know about or they confirm good qualities that you didn't know about right so they're confirming your
opinion about them or what you know of them.
What people
you know, people usually don't it's usually a blur when someone dies, it's usually a blur around you in terms of other people's words. The things you tend to remember are people that were really really there for you or people that said really dumb things
not like seriously people have said really really inappropriate things really stepped out of line right? Like the you know, a good inning mashallah good life may Allah bless them you know be patient we lost found time to help you. I don't see many people get offended by that across generations to be honest with you. What I do see as deeply offensive and I'm pretty sure it's valid there is a statement from hustle and bustle Rahim Allah to this extent, by the way about speaking and joking at the graveyard or talking about worldly things during the time of death. That's super offensive, super offensive, right?
And these practices like Eliza, right where you gather in a house and you know everyone you know, you kind of burden people to have to
the family to have to serve and to have to deal with all these people coming through their house and stuff like that. So
so I'll I'll share this when my mom passed away, I remember very specifically and and I forgiven this brother in case he sees this and he gets like, man, like Jehovah's still holding this against me.
But like when my mother passed away, we didn't want to do as in the traditional sense, right of having people come to our house, and having to do the whole thing three days and no, like, you know, you give Tyrese at the graveyard, you prepare food for the family of the deceased. If you want to, you can sort of take some of the affairs off of their, their mind. But there's something really, you know, I don't know, I don't know what your filthy opinion is on this. By the way, chefs, I'm making some assumptions. But personally, I find a lot of objection to the practice of people gathering in the house of the family for three days almost against their will, and making them cook and make you
know, and then having these practices that get associated with us. So we didn't want to do that. You know, we're three men in our family. I don't have any sisters. Me My dad, my role is kind of like you know, what we want to grieve with the people that we love, people that we care about very small circle that are very close to us. Kind of let's leave it at that. Then someone went and did it as at their house. And then it was like Alright, so we kind of got forced to go be there.
And the brother that put it together in his house, it was well well intended, right. He kind of wanted to like the Palestinians as their number one job right. It's like he wanted to just just
kind of stuff. Do that. Do Yeah. So that's what it was right?
And my mother passed away. Not too she passed away and chat about action.
And
I walk in there sit there, and within three minutes, it's a conversation about Moon sighting.
And my blood was boiling. Because the person next to me is like, shift. What do you think? Like really think I feel like talking about Moon setting right now man, like with that smirk? And like knowing my opinion, like I was like, You know what man? Like? Not know, like really not know, right? Don't ask me about a football game. Don't ask me about people's about silly community affairs. Don't ask like not now don't talk about stuff that's not related to this. In a way that's, that's, that's distracting. And in a way that's offensive. So I would say just don't say anything stupid rounds around the grieving relatives, right? Don't talk about affairs of this world, don't, don't try to
put it throw in a joke there.
That's inappropriate, right? Like, say things that are of comfort to the deceased, which, you know, you could say encouraging words, you could talk about qualities that that person had, you could you could mention the lesson that maybe you're drawing from it, and that, you know, and say something that's could help them be more patient, most people will understand when you're well intended. But we do have, and this will be kind of
I know we're slightly different generations, it would be like an old man rat, right? It was like we, I do think it's a problem when
we have taken sort of the social media world where you scroll from dying child to funny video, to where we get uncomfortable. And we're grieving. And Eliza that has intended some of these moments for us to be moments of grief and perspective, development and purpose, refining purpose and stuff like that, like. So I think it's sort of it's almost like an extension of sort of that online scrolling to where like, when everyone's getting uncomfortable in the gathering, because people are crying and people are grieving. Like someone thinks, let me tell a joke to lighten the mood. No, don't, don't tell a joke to lighten the mood. The mood doesn't need to be lightened the mood doesn't
need to be lightened now if the family in their grieving process, because I will share this with with family members too.
When I'm sitting with them, and I've done this multiple times, if the family finds comfort, in recalling amongst themselves, some of those those moments, those light hearted moments, and that's helping them grieve and Hamdulillah, right, that's good for you. But don't be that person that kind of steps in there and tries to throw a joke out there. Because you think that that's going to lighten the mood, the mood doesn't need to be light and let that be for the family to recall moments of joy and things that used to be done. And that's that's, that is not ruffler that's not heedlessness, right but don't try to go from a place of deep person perspective and an opportunity
for people to be woken up to Allah subhanaw. And to add into the reality of death, don't try to turn that into a moment of heedlessness instead, like don't scroll past the dying baby. Don't scroll past past the death and try to make this a funny moment. I don't find that in any of the incidents after the death of a companion were the prophets like someone who used to tell jokes who used to smile. I don't see that the prophets Isom ever threw a joke in the book here, Allah knows best I've never come across a narration through a joke and and above here, it just doesn't seem like you know, that's the way that we should be conducting ourselves. So be present for people say good things
about the deceased, say encouraging things to the to the relatives, show them that you're there to help them that you're there to do anything for them that you're there. You know, the simple things by the way, like
you know, going in and pulling a car up for them or saying that you know, that you want to assist in any way like taking some of the the duties now off of their plate offering to just be there for them for for the small things that are needed. All of that is good. But don't try to lighten the mood with a joke or with something that's that's dunya related,
and takes away from the fear on the matter at hand along those boats. That's kind of where I would say, people remember the dumb things don't say the dumb things. No, no, exactly like her and everything that you said is just so logical. So common sense, actually. And in his panel, one of the beautiful obviously, you asked about acquisitions is that where we speak up in great detail about this, I'm not gonna repeat all that now is in the class and folks who want to know about that they will see it. What I will say is this. What's remarkable about this, Dean is that the more that you think about it at a natural level, just without any kind of bias and you allow the common sense to
just kind of flow from you, you will find that the sooner will not be far behind even though the Sunnah is not something which has to make sense. It doesn't. It's remarkable how many times it does.
Actually, there is nothing authentic from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and directly how to add
should he do or say something to the one who is grieving. And that's astonishing, considering how much loss happened, considering how many different types of people, whether it was mothers or single folks or men or those that were from his own tribe, and then those that came from abroad, as well to become part of the OMA and the Khilafah. There is not a set single way in which that grieving process or that giving of condolences is done. And you are either you either panic when you come across something like that, or you celebrate that fact, and allow as what you said, just do what matters how you make them feel. And so many times we've we've mentioned that, that the silence and
the sincerity and the hug, and the the look, and the act, the action, don't go up to a person and ask them to me to bring food, bring the food, the food will not be wasted, right, there will be people that will be so grateful, someone who is going through that myself right now. And our that foods when the people sit down at that, you know, three hour one o'clock, and they like you know, and you might not even know, you know, who brought it? Actually, I had something yesterday, I had no idea who brought it, but I made a draw for that person. I said, Man, this is fantastic. And along with everything I said, and from my heart heart right now, that I think is the big lesson that the
sooner will never be far behind the you know, behind that which makes sense. And so on. The question that I wanted to ask about,
about what this is linked to, to creating the sense of environment, because you mentioned your art, and the doll for one's personal disease and into our for the rest of the OMA the scholarly class will always use this point and say that what you owe to the people of Gaza is not just the making of the art. But if your dri is not being answered, then what's the point of that? And if you're not fulfilling the obligations, and you're not leaving the Haram in your personal life, then you have failed, that people have because you failed yourself, you felt allah and You are complicit, you are complicit in what is happening because you did not do what was obligated upon you. And people need
to understand that people need to take personal responsibility is one of the big problems. You mentioned, why is it that that people make a joke? Why is it that people want to try to try to change the mood? Why is it that people scroll, because they're terrified of the negativity, they're terrified of what they're experiencing, because they live positive, toxic lives, that idea that I only want to see positivity. And the problem living in the world that we live, the era that we're in is is entirely I mean, subhanAllah, every single aspect of our lives is about escapism. So if it's the movies, people go to it to escape from the misery of their lives, whether it's sport, it's the
same whether it's their cultural habits, drinking, I mean, why, you know, when we assess drink culture, if you've I mean, I'm not going to be subjective, I'm going to be as objective as possible, obviously, I'm biased. But it looks like the urine. It smells like urine. And its consequence is to completely Zanku out your head. It makes no spiritual sense. No fight is expensive. So and that makes no financial sense. It makes no emotional sense. It makes no ideological sense. It makes no medical sense, look at the bills that the you know, the the health kind of insurance percentages that are covering the damage and the illnesses that are linked to drinking and the culture, and all
the rape and all the eggs and all the abuse that happens. Like no level, does it make any sense? And yet it is the dominant aspect of COFA. What generically is escapism, the complete
inability and lack of wanting to handle real life, real life. And I think that is the lesson here, that you can't treat this by escaping more by scrolling. You have to reframe, you have to understand why that's happening. Understand your responsibility in that and then fulfill your obligations post that I'm so glad you said what you said that some people will get genuine because of what happens afterwards. So you have a obligation you have responsibilities, and that is not you know, this is not some kind of algorithm that's very difficult and some secret formula, the obligations and the recommendations of our practice of daily life and daily Islamic practice that Allah subhanaw taala
obligates will be 100% that which will be best for the people best for the Ummah and best for you. And I think that reframing is so so important. The question I wanted to ask you is one of these actions of doing a lot of good and maintaining a pure life
is that you get to have good dreams. Right? This is kind of like a tan.
Have you regularly seen your mother in your dreams?
Yes, I'm gonna.
I don't want to go too far into it. But yeah, I mean, that's
what I want to what I want to ask is what would your advice be because I was reading something from Abdullah Abdullah Basler, the Allah and Omar in which he said about the benefit of seeing our deceased into dreams, because it's the real connection is not some, not like the Western approach where it's a fantasy and nonsense, this is real. This is how we keep connection with those that we're grieving over. This is real, like, You are the your soul, which is actually even more real, especially in the AI era, where the outside can be made to see things and act and you have absolutely no way of telling, whether that's the actual person, whether it's a fake or deep, fake,
whatever. So, so it's true to say, just like in the island will have a banana shahada, that the unseen world is more true and real than the scene world, it's right to say that our spirits and souls are more real about us than what you're seeing on the outside. And if you accept that premise, then you'll accept that actually the connection of the souls when they meet with our deceased and this young, which is what a dream is, the actual meeting of source is more real than the actual reality of interactions of in real life. So what a source of solace and what a source of hope and what a source of happiness, that we're blessed to be able to have those dreams. I'm hoping that you
can share just without details but the importance of doing and setting up the necessary conditions so that we can have those dreams
so I'll say those those sheets are so much to sort of reflect on in this regard. So I had the opportunity to hedge for my mother comes in and out right when she passed away.
So that hedger that was right after I had the opportunity to fetch for her and it was like something to see like her doing those statements. So sometimes doing those same actions. It's one thing like when you see a person doing the deeds that you're doing for them and you hope that's a Bushrod that it would it was accepted for them.
Sometimes like introducing her to elements of my life that she didn't get to live to see my mother never met my kids, right? So
their dreams like that.
But I'll say this, that this is this might be a little
I'll divulge this, sometimes I get jealous because like my wife sees my mom and her dream more than I see my mom my dream.
I'm kind of like, that's not fair, you know? And then I realized that's something recurring in different places that people see. Like someone else a spouse, or a friend sees that person more than you. It's kind of like wait, how does that why did they go there and not come to me right?
And then you start to realize that's part of the other to like, who Allah azza wa jal is choosing it could be a message that's intended for you through someone else. And that happens right I mean,
that sometimes someone else will see a dream and then they'll call you and then they'll tell you and it's like that was a message that was to you as well. So the way Allah suns are allows those meetings to happen is also sometimes cup like it doesn't have a scheme to it and the reason why it's important for people to understand doesn't have a scheme to it is that don't take it like if I'm not seeing this person in my dream like that person hates me or is mad at me because I've seen that as well right? That person hates me or is mad at me or like Allah is depriving me some of the people that love the prophets like some of the most from his own never get to see him in a dream.
Some of the people that love the prophets like some of the most and this OMA never get to see him in a dream. And some of the people you're like, really like you know, I'm not questioning your love for the province like someone someone comes up to you the message like man, like I see them as it like twice a month like you saw the prophets like someone a dream described him perfectly like, perhaps that was what was needed for your hedaya. And perhaps what was needed for the the longing of this person to actually see the prophets lie some in the hereafter was that Elijah did not give them that seen that sight of the Prophet slice of them in this life, but there's a wisdom to it. All right, so
the scheme sometimes is almost unpredictable. But it is fairly consistent, that bitten and it to Allah that you'll see your loved one, either doing a good deed that you are doing for them or thanking you for something that you did for them or in a happy place just in a way that that represents joy in the nighttime and represents them in a good state. But in the nighttime, that couldn't be something to encourage you to keep making your art for them or encourage you to keep giving Solokha for them. But the point is, is that none of that is random. None of that is
none of that is actually like with a scheme that we can
Identify like, you can't teach that. And of course, you can't teach it in class. But we asked the last presenter to allow us to see our loved ones in our dreams, in ways that are pleasing to us, and that allows them to gather us ultimately with them, fulfill those data with our most beloved one, the prophets on the low end, he was salam alaikum I mean, I mean, I mean, I think that Hafsa I think that maybe we should
take some questions that are on people's mind, specifically.
Because we don't want to just just carry on, you know, ignoring folks and talking just over this. So why don't you just take the lead on that? Definitely. I just want to check because I know Schiffman where you have a hard stop right now, so we may have to continue without you. You could do five minutes and Charlotte's gonna
come I love her.
I never have a call with a that stays on time, by the way, like every
day in format is incredible how discipline. I love talking to you. So it's always like it always goes longer than that. There's no such thing as a call that lasts. Just to its to its intended, every time but it's all good. So I can take five more minutes and show Annika Loafie Why don't you focus in on those questions that are specific for shakaama? Oh, that about those things that he spoke about? Okay, I'll see if I can squeeze him in as quickly as quickly as possible. So one question that came up a few times is my father passed away three weeks ago? May Allah have mercy on him me, but I've heard a few times from people is that I'm not allowed to cry no tears, because that
harms the disease. Some even say every tear that falls burns a disease Subhanallah I would like to know if there is the allele for this.
So this is obviously some I'm sure shuffleboard is it goes into detail with the course and I should emphasize people to please sign up for the course and Sharla Tiana and take the course because you can't learn Liqui we try to learn so much about like how to how to name it, how to name the child how to welcome the child into this world, how to raise a child parents in courses like we should really invest our time and shallots on how to pay proper respects and you know, worship Allah subhanaw taala when we're faced with the death of a loved one, so I can't emphasize enough but obviously there's a chapter the difference between edible cat when the crying and wailing. Wailing
is very different from crying crying is natural. The Prophet sighs I'm cried the tears can fall as much as they need to fall. I believe in the narration of Anasazi lontana. And who he mentioned the tears of the prophets like some falling on the body of Ibrahim, the son of the prophets lie some like it wasn't just soaking his beard, you can imagine the visual of the tears of the prophets like some falling on Ibrahim on his son as he carried him when he was deceased. So crying is a part of who we are, we seek refuge and Allah from eyes that don't shed tears wailing is to say something that's impermissible or to make noises or to do actions that are impermissible such as shouting or
hitting the face or tearing the clothes or, you know, just being overly
I don't know the word animated, but doing something with the deceased or doing something with your actions that's beyond just crying or saying something that's impermissible in that process, right. So
you know, expressing
dissatisfaction with a decree of Allah out loud or saying something about the person or whatever it is. So that's where it becomes a problem.
You're not gonna look for the answer. So there's a few questions, but honestly, there's a lot of people sharing that they've lost people recently Subhanallah young, many, many of them very young, 27 years old, a 28 years old, 17 years old, 12 years old, a baby. So I feel like it would be appropriate a job for us to end with a DA I'll ask one more question that I've seen here in Sharla. And then if we can wrap up with that before you have to leave Shane Homer. The question is how should we respond when we're encouraged to recite Fatiha without offending them? Where did this originate?
Oh actually pass that to shekel receptor. That's okay. Yeah, can I actually say I have said that? I would. I would. Let's shift our answer this specific question. I think this will be a really good one.
May says that I lost my fiancee two weeks ago. How am I supposed to feel hopeful and loving in this world once more I see everything gloomy in my world. Even at work I have no desire to do any more. How long does it take to overcome this feeling? What practices will help me with this grief? Just your personal advice on dashef on
sister may my mother's name was made on female law and my daughter's name is Mei
May Allah subhanaw taala allow your your fiance to be you know, for those that I mean Elijah did grant you the reward of your breathing. Grant them the reward of their striving and forgive him for any shortcomings and they lost panto elevate him. May Allah subhanaw taala elevate him May Allah azza wa jal allow him to be experiencing nothing but joy in the hereafter and grant you the joy of the hereafter as well and restore to you what has been taken away from you in terms of that, that feeling in this life lon I mean,
so what I would say is, you know, there's a direct connection
between what the Prophet SAW as I mentioned, I've seen death experiencing death and feeling perception. When he when he saw the when he saw a Salafi rally Saddam with his lips puckered on the horn, he said Qaeda and
how could I feel?
You know, Joy? How can I feel that? How? How can I really immerse myself in the joy of this world? Again, it's difficult to translate these things, but it's like I lost my appetite, right? You lose your appetite for this world when I've seen a sloth feed with his lips puckered onto the horn like what's, what is this dunya really except for, right, so you start kind of
losing your appetite for this world. And so it's natural, just like we don't like to eat just like we don't like to drink,
you know, to kind of numb ourselves a bit. And some of these things kick in, as mechanisms of protection for us, in fact, right? Like, it's just like your immune system response, sometimes to be able to deal with the pain, these things do happen. What I would say is, the fact of the matter is that you are to say at hamdulillah in Allah when I lay Roger your own, and to proceed in your life as a believer, but you are not tasked with having to pretend like everything is the same now to find the same level of happiness and enjoy that you would have found when your fiance was with you, how long it takes us is different for every person, you'll never be the same again and doesn't have to
be that way, right? Allah azza wa jal to put this person in your life for the time that he did.
In sha Allah to Allah, you continue to make dua for that person, you make this a means by which you come closer to Allah subhanaw taala. And seek the best of the afterlife and then seeking the best of the afterlife, then life will start to fall into place in different ways for you as well. But how long it's going to take it's and this may be perhaps is for everyone and shallots and I've said this in other forums as well. You never move on you move forward. And prophesies are never moved on from for the user to the law and she was still a part of his life very much a part of his lifestyle Alario so then you move forward, right but that, that not wanting to do anything and not enjoying
anything and not having an appetite that's natural to just two weeks in. May Allah bless you for even committing yourself to this class and trying to learn how to do so that in and of itself, I hope is a good sign in Shallotte time that you're seeking. You're seeking Allah Azza Jo's reward and you're seeking to do this the best way as a Muslim as a believer, and that's all that can be asked of you. But it could take weeks years, Allah knows best. But have hope. Not in your own ability to grieve this properly have hope and Allah subhanaw taala being able to heal you right have hope and not so direct your hope to Allah subhana wa atatiana Do not put your hope and your own mechanisms
and your own abilities and your own qualities Put your hope in a las pantallas names and attributes and his ability to heal and to manage even what seems impossible to mend at the moment and we're all making do out for you in my last panel to make it easy for you. And panel I see so many people mentioning
their their deceased ones many lives that have mercy on your deceased parents, children, spouses, siblings, friends may lost parents out I have mercy on them all and magnify your words and they lost parents and allow us to be joined with all of our loved ones that have passed away. And with our beloved prophet sai someone
about a lot of people are freaking Batticaloa showhome exact Monica, I appreciate it, bro. I appreciate your time. And we'll catch up afterwards.
So I got
so there's so so many questions. I want to say obviously, that in the class, a lot of these are answered. But more importantly, we will have the live sessions that will also allow folks to be able to take the mic or to put the questions in more detail without the kind of without the kind of rush and As Salam says that the q&a sessions will be spread out. We do anticipate that the live sessions will not necessarily be all over and done within three or four weeks.
So yeah, I'll just do one question and then have somebody pass it to you to choose what is appropriate. Alice has asked us few times and she asked what do I share? Do I still grieve? Shareholder Sharif and what memories of him stay with you now?
So I'm actually a very
what's the word?
I don't know what it is. Maybe I guess it's just emotional. I think maybe that's the kind of cheap kind of word to use. I do think it's something more refined than that but but I am emotional kind of guy. I am
I'm very sensitive to people's, not just the deaths, but the impact of their deaths, probably more so than the death itself. So the answer is yes, absolutely.
But then as because I'm reminded, I'm reminded of it more often. So for example, his family are dependent on a lot of things that I need to get involved with, they need a lot of help, and, you know, whatever it is, with his children, with
everything, and anything. And it's these things that remind you of your responsibility once someone passes. It's not just about being there, when someone passes, it's the aftermath. And I really, like I said, What Omar mentioned about
you know, sometimes, you know, he made a really good point about what people are grieving, different people grieve different things. Yeah. Like my father in law, as many of you know, passed away a few days ago, while I even care one little bit about his passing, yeah. And in terms of, it's stressing me out, because he was a million times better than I was. So why am I wasting my energy and worrying about him, so at least that's off the list. You know, you worry about someone being in a state of sin, or, you know, whatever, as Ahmad mentioned, you know, hamdulillah trust knows, prior to Allah, I know him very well knew him very well. You know, there's some people some skin they don't even
have the chance to sin like any what theoretically, could be in other times and ways under like, so.
That's not it, what is unbelievably gutting for me, and I just need to just allow the thought to come into my head, and I, my heart can't take it anymore. And then I'd be a blubbering mess, which is why I'm going to just say very quickly move on, is just what a massive gap has been left in the level of practice that used to be and the lack of that practice right now.
And those who study with me on a regular basis, you'll often hear me speak I'm teaching paradise portfolio this weekend, which has everything to do with a cut.
A lot of people look at the concept of the cat in the very kind of capitalist kind of way, or very modern way, something which is very much about money and finances and complicated and not to do with me and all the rest of it. And what they will learn instead is just how essential does the cat or the institution of the cat is with the stability of the world, the stability of people, nations, communities, our families, the impact of the can I don't even mean the money. I'm not even talking about the money, which is what the normal mind would go to, that are the person pays the curb and get the money we pay. These people have paid these per day we alleviate poverty, and the world's a
better place. I don't even mean in that sense. I'm talking about the folks that don't pay zakat. I'm talking about those that don't do it properly, what's the impact of that spiritually in other locations? And this goes to the concept of the impact or, or the harm of people's presence and doing of actions and the leaving of actions on others. Now we can visualize this with the answer. How catastrophically have we let them down as an ummah. That's our inaction. That's our and I don't mean political inaction. I'm not even talking about that, which is, of course, an obvious point. I'm not even talking about the easy targets like the leaders, the leaders of the Arab countries, the leaders
of their neighbors, their neighboring countries, easy targets, obvious culprits. Now I'm talking about me, I'm talking about all of you spiritually, how we let them down. Because, as you know, at the bare minimum, we should be making the art for these folks, peoples are making their name. Well, if you aren't doing actions that reject your DUA, your die is not being accepted. What are you even doing that? What are you even doing in the first place, the bare minimum you're not even putting forward if you know that you're doing haram acts that are going to block your DUA and be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made it very clear how
he lives his you gave the example of the person who you would have thought of all people on this planet would have responded to a broken person comes in front of Allah open and raw on the Day of Arafah lift his hands to the to the heavens, the day in which Allah subhanaw taala forgives everyone and boasts to the angels were on a man just told them to ask I'm gonna give. Everyone's going to get forgiven. Nobody gets rejected that day. And it is one guy who lifts his hands
So tired so nakid makes the and the professor Liza Lim said
his mother Allahu haram. Oma shabu haram woman vessel from haram. What God was the a bit haram
for a nice to jab Allah. He's food is haram his drink is haram His clothes are haram. In fact, this guy is a walking around. He's a walking around. So how is he going to be responded to? How's he going to be? How on what On what planet is his dog going to be accepted? So, I put to you that our actions, our actions are the other other things that are most under the the spotlight and our act and our, our, our positive good, a bad has an impact elsewhere. And our lack of the obligations and our doing of the Haram has an impact elsewhere. The reason I mentioned the cut, is because the Prophet sallallahu sallam said in the Hadith, that those who do not give zakat, withhold from
praying, there's a cut ALLAH SubhanA, Allah will withhold the rain in around the world. And he says Allah is Allah, that if it wasn't for the animals, and the limb towards the animals, he would not he would have withheld the rain completely, because of you in your country in your little corner, not paying zakat or understanding it properly and treating it as some kind of joke etc. Likewise, the point I was making, about why I grieve, and get very emotional about certain people and certain times, is I know that they were the stabilizing balance on the planet. And by that I mean that Allah subhanaw taala has not destroyed his Alma entirely because there are a few people that are still
making a sale for
Allah Subhan Allah Allah said that we will not punish them or interfere him. And Allah will not punish them, while homeless, don't feel alone and that they are home yesterday alone and that they are seeking forgiveness from Allah. These are a few identity of a few individuals, a few people that are holding it down for this OMA, they are holding it down for this OMA day and night doing whatever they possibly can. And the different ages, different countries, but they are giving it their full effort. And that's what really depresses me, that's what really depresses me. Because when they go, then the hole is massive. And the hole is massive, sometimes very obvious, as the honorable saying
that people will come up to you. And as you said, you know, your mom, she did this, she did that. And she was able to support me in this day. And I just want you to know that it is nothing that you're going to hear there's going to be more beautiful than that. Your father, I just want you to know, you know that he did. That's the positive signs, the negative signs is a couple of days later, when someone comes and says,
you know, my speaking to my wife, she said that
a girl came in,
she was crying so much.
I didn't know her. And my family don't know her. And we're all speaking amongst ourselves. This one is crying more than all of us. The whole family, all the sisters and the brothers, the x the Y they said, she's crying so much. And then my sister in law, sat her down. And I said to her,
you know, be most welcome. And you know, give them you know,
what's up? And tell us a little bit about yourselves. And she said that, yeah.
Han Ji meaning is like Uncle, he was for the last three years coming to our house every month and paying for this paying for that paying for whatever. And we as a family have no idea what we're going to do.
We have no idea what we're going to do.
Obviously, you don't need to worry one little bit, we'll deal with that. But how many of these people then start coming out of the woodwork? How many of these people start coming up and you realize the impact of people on others? And is that gap, which is the one that depresses me, because we should be plugging those gaps left right away that people have time where the people of money were the people of wealth minded people of opportunity. And we've got those folks who didn't have the house or the age or the ease or the money or the older generation that are smashing it out of the park. And the only thing that we are smashing ourselves, our desires. Just absolutely the
spending and completely just, you know, just living our best lives. And thing is all about us. And that gap is widening the gap between the generation that passes and one has left and you ask the question about Muhammad Sharif is the good people that we're doing here. That gap that's left behind is too big. And we have to up our game. I said to the folks in a logical progression group in logical progression group say no to mediocrity. We cannot be media
For Muslims, we have to be better. But anyway,
I know that some going on. You see this a problem if you're not in control, bro, just as like as like as like this is going to end this. Okay, good job. Good job. Let me get one more second one more no good job
at 4pm Yeah, yeah, just like them with a little bit just like Kamala Harris honestly that was handled that was a roller coaster of a session but such an essential one may Allah reward you and shuffle more heavily make it heavier skiers. I mean, I think one of the essential points the whole purpose of this session and the goal here is one of our ways to up our game is to take, you know, take control of the knowledge that we don't know, and to make sure that we are that we that we as an Omar are confident when it comes to approaching the topic of death, and Hamdulillah. This is why we put together to put together such a an essential course the link has been shared it multiple times
in the chat if you guys get a chance. There you go share it again and come down to like, look, obviously, please do register for it. Inshallah. It's an a lifetime access class. So you will have access to it for as soon as you register for forever. But we have live sessions that are scheduled starting next Tuesday Inshallah, and you want to be in the class before then. So that you can benefit from the content, but for the live sessions kick off at can you speak a little bit to the class and shall before we close, because it's going to be our last opportunity to connect with everyone I do. So Inshallah, I guess Listen, those folks
who took difficult sulla, you'll remember that I said that this is the very best possible way that I could.
The very best that I could do on the issue of this subject, the thick of death is the same.
I can see the video, I don't know that whether you can see the video as well. But if you can, then these are just clips from the various sessions. Obviously, it's a studio based class. But then because of it being such a you no real thing. All of this all of the footage that you see here is from the class material. And we cover absolutely everything. And this is obviously the practical side that you're seeing different graveyards, different forms, different types, different whatever the different matters that we've got to deal with from the various cultures, etc. But then I think probably one of the underrated aspects of the class is the deep discussions that we have around
about like someone was asking about how do we deal with the whole fatherhood situation? How do we deal with the people wanting to do that as a and condolences in the in the in the manner, folks have been asking about the issue of suicide, what are an incredibly difficult subject and the sensitivities around that. And so obviously, the material in the class will be the basis. And the important part is is that once you've consumed that, or during your consumption of that material, we've got the live sessions, which can then allow us to dive into more specific and more personal scenarios and give more tailored kind of responses.
I don't want I'm not shy to hold back and tell you, all of you must have this class, unless, unless you're me, or like Omar, an imam in the community, who has buried that many people had experience with that many deaths knows exactly how to treat your own grief and the grief of others, and how to do it the right way. Unless you're that person, you don't need to. But if you are of the normative masses, then you need this. And you need to more importantly give it to the people who are not going to be too interested in attending that webinar on a Tuesday evening, they'll be thinking of all different kinds of things. But you are mashallah all of the participants that have been here last
time to reward you because that in itself is an effort and a sign of good intention. But don't let it now fall apart and just say, yeah, that was great session with a and honestly man. And I said, this is what needs to happen more so than for yourselves. But those folks that you know, that won't care about an eight year session or an emotionally man session, or Islamic class, or this or that, they need to be connected to obligatory knowledge. And so that's what I hope that you will take away from this.
It might feel distasteful, I can I can sense that. I don't like heavily pushing kinds of things. But when I know that it's in your benefit, then I have no shame or shyness whatsoever, whatsoever. Because you are the one who needs it, you'll be the one to be thanking me for it, I can guarantee I can guarantee you that. And you're welcome. And you're welcome because it was not easy to put together. And it took an incredible amount of resource and time, a lot of sacrifice on behalf of many people. And all of that comes from Allah's Tofik. And you are welcome. Because this is honestly I believe that when I pass, I will say that I dealt with salah, and I wish is the most important
thing in life. And I dealt with the passing, which is obviously the most important thing in depth. And that's it. So I hope that you guys will do it. It's right and you will take it in order as well. You won't rush it, you will take all of the sessions in their rights in a right kind of manner, and deeply reflect upon the things that need to happen and nowadays is even more important than it was 10 years ago when I started teaching the subjects especially with the diversity
Then said medicine, and especially with the how quick, folks now will be put onto a ventilator. And of course, after COVID, all of the new procedures are in place to encourage people to not have any kind of resuscitation in place when you are ill. So the medical aspect of this class is also very, very important. So I guess that will be a summary of this message. And Allah knows best is that Kamala Harris chef, a very apt summary. And one thing I do want to mention before we close is that I know in the last webinar, we were able to attend the offer an additional bonus, you know, module from Starzl Don, who is a licensed professional counselor, counselor, and licensed mental health
counselor in the US about grief, and a lot of folks here Subhanallah shared their recent losses and shared a difficulty that they were experiencing with grief. So we spoke to the team while the webinar was happening, and inshallah we're going to be making that available again, for the next 24 hours for anyone who's registering and anyone who's already registered so far, so far. So take advantage of that, if you are just benefiting, then you want to be able to to be in the class that you do it sooner rather than later so that you can get that bonus module on grief and Sharla. And especially because of the necessity that we're experiencing right now even if you don't have any
personal loss even that the experience of that oh my right now through the loss of the the people in Philistine Inshallah, so just wanted to share that really quickly. There were some logistical questions. And I know there's so many questions we didn't get a chance to address. One thing I don't know if you mentioned that we have our live q&a Is that start off next Tuesday in sha Allah, and they're going to be really intensive. So we'll try to cover every single question that comes in that's not addressed already in the class, so that you guys have an opportunity to be satisfied to make sure that everything that you want to know is addressed in sha Allah so once again, it's among
them to online or it's a link in your chat here Inshallah, we look forward to seeing you guys on the other side, and to be benefiting on this journey with you. does happen with Christian couple Issa, and the mushroom farmer who's left it's been a blessing to have you guys as part of this this three part experience. We look forward to being on the other side and continuing that journey on telegram during the live sessions during the class but yes, don't waste time Ramadan will come before you know it. And it's relevant to all of us this topic is not something that you can afford to miss out on. As an omen. We need to have confidence in it because I can look there for your attendance every
single one of you yes at six videos 30 hours, that's all we have lifetime access so you have time to keep up with it inshallah. We'll see you guys as soon as sinuata go one