Don’t Ever Say

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Omar Suleiman

Channel: Omar Suleiman

Episode Notes

“If Only I Would Have”

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Everyone smell money coming into labor to cut around with SME or even a shave on our team some narrow metal Heyman handed in 19. I mean, what are we wanting the unapplied? I mean, what have you, but since we're talking a lot, most of you are selling robotic How have you got a silica Mohammed and Salalah. Hardy was quite an early he was the he was the Olympus and kathira. So today's lesson to be to be honest with you is one that, and shall I pray that will benefit many people. Because it speaks to, I think, many realities that people have in different circumstances. And so you might be stuck in the situation of regret, and particularly pained by a decision that you made. And or you

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think, an outcome that would have been different had you made another decision, and you feel like you can get out of these circumstances. And you know, I think it's important to acknowledge that last week, I spoke about a certificate onomatopoeic, and you'll remember what I said to you, and I talked about this idea of paying attention, and some of the things that come to pass later on, whether it's a parent's advice or righteous friends advice, and that it makes sense later on. And then this week, we're talking about the other side of that, which is, you know, after the fact, when a person finds themself in a situation where they feel completely isolated,

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feel like they cannot get themselves in place. And they're really beating themselves up over what has happened, because they feel like had things happen differently, they would be in a different place. And I want to frame this topic, in the full Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, because sometimes people only hear the last part of this, which is the title of the book. And they don't pay attention to the full Hadith. And when you see the full Hadeeth, and you realize the spirit in which the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said these words, of not not being obsessed or not being stuck in the word if in the word low. It's actually the famous Hadith of the prophets of

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Allah, where he said, the stronger believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. And you know if any of you have watched the series, Allah loves actually talk about this heavy thing, some detail. The strength here that's being referenced is not merely physical strength is the strength of character, the strength of the strength of faith. It's the strength of independence, not being vulnerable to other people or not, not finding yourself dependent on other people. But instead of being as independent of them as possible and as dependent on a lot as possible could refer to financial strength in the sense that a lot encourages us to seek

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a position of being financially healthy so that we can spend on those who aren't. The point being is that you should seek to be in a position of strength, not in an unprincipled way, but in a way that's pleasing to Allah so that you can do the things that are pleasing to Allah. So this is an empowering Hadith. And then the prophets lie Selim says, Salah may in fact what attaches the prophets I seldom said be

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you know dedicated strive to seek that which will benefit you what attaches and do not feel helpless, strive to do that to accomplish that which will benefit you to not feel helpless or incapable. Okay, so the profit slice that I'm here is referring specifically to the effort that you put in Alright, and particularly you know, and I posted

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official, are you taking advantage of that?

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And how much have you things that are of no benefit to you? Are you indulging and this idea of being fat, look, focus on that which is beneficial to you focus on that which is beneficial to strive towards that which is beneficial to you? When that attaches and do not feel helpless? Then the profit slice and I'm sad for in the holodeck, I'm Ron for Condor, Allah, Masha. And then if something overwhelms you then say of that Allah, Masha Allah, it is the decree of Allah, and he does what He wills. So basically, this is once you have put forth your best stuff, and things don't turn out the way that you want to turn out. Then say I'm not allowing myself I did my part, Allah Subhana

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Allah has decreed, and I'm pleased with what he has decreed. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, What iaca when low and beware of the word low the word if he said, in a low, tough to hoe, I'm gonna say upon. He said that the word if only opens the doors of the shape on it only gives the room or gives room for the devil to play, and the devil to distract you, and to really, really, really mess you up to really mess you up. And so what this is

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Talking about is that a person gets stuck

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in this idea of the outcome, and in the process gets so debilitated that they no longer put forth their best effort, whether it's in regards to their worship or in regards to other areas of life which have the potential to be worshipped, if they are pursuing this means and for righteous ends. And so the prophets Lysander, saying, after you have put forth your best efforts, after you have sought

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after you have sought to produce the most favorable outcome, as you see it, after you've gone through all of that the profit slice of them said, at that point if things overwhelm you, overcome you, despite your best efforts, so the best effort has to be there, despite your best effort. The Prophet peace be upon him said, then just at that point sake Padilla Well, I'm not sure. This is God's decreed, this is a loss decree. And he has done a

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fine with that it's okay, and the profit slice sums up and beware of the word if, if only I would have done this, if only this would have happened if only that would have happened. And there's so many different ways to to benefit from this particular last sentence and a shout out, I pray that it will bring comfort to some people that are stuck in this place right now. And help us change our mindset when it comes to this word. And when it comes to outcomes. There are different ways to understand the so are different benefits to take from it. First and foremost, the word if hear the word low is not the word if as a whole is prohibited or blameworthy. It's particularly what the

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scholars say, to hitting telling about loading net omiana Mobile, it's particularly the prohibition or the the the the, the if that is said, because of a person regretting something in the past, thinking that would have produced a different outcome, particularly the type of if that puts too much too much currency in the bucket of s Bob in the bucket of reasons and means, and divorces itself from the overwhelming decree of Allah subhana wa Tada, that a person too much in the US bad, maybe dependent on the other.

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And that's something that we have to be careful of which are the means. As much as this religion pushes us. As much as the prophets lie, some pushes us to do our best, we never become dependent on our best efforts, we instead put forth our best effort, but we always recognize the limitations of our efforts. And recognizing the limitations of our efforts does not diminish them. It simply allows us to be at peace with the outcomes once we have put forth our best effort. Right? So there is a really interesting balance here. That is that we always have to grapple with, no matter what we're going through in life, how do we come to understand, you know, our role versus the decree of Allah

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subhanaw taala. And so one aspect of that one element of that is when you're pursuing something, and you everything about it is good, and it's on its way to you. And suddenly it's taken away from you. And you think to yourself, wait a minute why. So the narration of Abdullah loudness rules, or the A lot of times

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where he mentioned, you know, that and I'm going to paraphrase it, because I've spoken about it in detail and other places that a loss of Hannah, what's added decrees a good thing to come towards someone. And as the

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until a lot of decrees that are good, come that person's way. And then as the good is just about to reach that person, a loss of Hannah Montana says, honestly, for one, that take it away from that person, do not let it go to that person. Because if I give it to that person, then I'll have to punish them. Because they're going to do things the implied meaning of it is that they're the Naira that comes to them. The blessing that comes to them and this form is going to change their ultimate outcome in the Hereafter, something might change about their character, their personality, something might happen to them, that is unknown, even to the angels that are delivering that goodness are in

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the process of delivering that goodness, that if I give it to that person, then I'm going to have to punish that person. Because they're going to find themselves in a situation where they're going to go astray as a result of that good they're going to lose themselves lose their connection to Allah, something's going to happen to them that's going to produce an unfavorable outcome in the hereafter. And a lot in wanting good for that person removes that goodness in this life so that it does not compromise their goodness in the hereafter. And so it's taken away from that person and that person looks up and he says, Starbuck, I need food and the honey philon this person, you know, beat me to

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it. This person got it instead of me. You know, that position went to that person that that stock went to

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That person will not follow the law, honey. And all it was was the bounty of a lot on you, on you. So you were seeing it and saying If only I would have done this, if only I would have done that it went to this person that went to that person. And this is not, you know, being critical of oneself so that you can produce a better outcome next time that's healthy, right to go back and to re strategize and say, okay, you know, what can I do better next time, this is a person beating themselves up over what has happened in a way that makes them stop trying, right, and in a way that even worse than that can lead them to start questioning a loss decree. Okay, so that person says

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about honey fula, and the honey fool, and this person beat me to it, that person got it, I should have done this, I would have got it. And all it was the entire time was a loss blessing on that person, a love blessing you so that your favorable outcome in this life does not lead to an unfavorable outcome and the hereafter, which is far more important. And so that's one element of this. And sometimes it's even with the most bitter things that a person will experience in life. What could be more bitter than slander? Right, then slander, you know, the slander of it shall be a lot of time, and what it did to her what it did to the community, what it did to the prophets, all

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along to some of the pain that it caused to the prophets lysozyme himself. And Allah subhanaw taala reveals la tassa, boo boo, shovel knuckle, don't think that it is bad for you, then who will hide a knuckle rather, it is good for you. Now, that doesn't mean that it shall be Allah Han has to like the slander. That doesn't mean that this is after the fact obviously, the community has learned its lesson. You know, it's really helped shape the ethos of the community to understand the importance of the honor of another person. All of these things are shaped right by this incident that happened without a shadow of the allowance around, you know, these verses of sorts that guide us. They

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provide light for us so that we don't fall into the darkness, though, unfortunately, we still will fall into the darkness sometimes not because a lot has not given us sufficient guidance. But how many people are rescued because they read the story of ice all the time. And they say, I'm not going near that this is this is heinous. We don't tarnish the the honor of

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the believer. We don't we don't engage in this type of oppression and slander. Right. And if it could happen to the mother, believe it could happen. Right? If it could happen, I saw the law on how the house of the prophets lie some of it can happen to anybody. But Allah subhanho wa Taala reveals this was not bad for you in the grand scheme of things. It's rather good for you. Why? Because though every time I saw the law and how would remember the slander, it would cause her pain right? She would go back to that moment she'd remember what it felt like to be abandoned alone and slandered and all those types of things. The honor of it shuttle de la Honda in the here, elevation,

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her reward as a result of what she bought in this world is a favorable outcome. A lot of not command I shall not be hurt about it anymore. But instead of thinking about if this would have happened, you know, maybe because if you go back to the story, I showed the law can inflict a lot of self blame, you know, she could start falling I didn't fall asleep under that tree. If I didn't oversleep under that tree, then nothing would have none of this would have happened in the first place right? I wouldn't have ended up in a situation where I've loved no abatements

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behind Stephane while the length of time one say you know, just to throw that cast that slender isn't even a direct slander and by the way, this is the reality world of social media that most slander is not a direct claim, but it's it's casting aspersions until people take it and run with it and then turn it into the direct claim that you're insinuating. Right and this is true for individuals This is true for groups This is true in general right it's it's it's heinous because someone suggests something and that's all I'm the love No babe and salute did was he suggested something about it. So the alarm and then the people ran with it without social media, and turned it

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into all sorts of things. And that goes back to the the filth of our beloved No, babe. And now I saw the alarm on how she could have beat herself up and said, you know, if I wouldn't have overslept, if I would have, you know, then I wouldn't have ended up in this situation. But Allah subhanho wa Taala is telling out you saw the alarm and the community by extension Look, the outcome of this, it hurts but the end of this is good for you. It's a lesson for the community and it is elevation of you almost meaning it's innovation or it's the elevation of action or the lantana the elevation of her station. Right so the community learns its lessons how you show the lover, enjoys her rewards. Allah

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declared her innocence from above seven heavens and a loss of high

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notes out of grants are a higher ranking and paradise because of her patients in the midst of all of the devastation. So you don't have to like the slander itself. But don't beat yourself up so much over the outcome seed the positive, see what comes out of this for you in regards to the outcomes. And don't go back and say, if I would have done this differently, if I would have done that differently, no, a loss of how to how to how to plan for you. And the end of that plan is good for you. So be patient, and don't think this is bad for you. And this is an important thing to separate between. And you know, it's really beautiful to me. So I've had a lot when I read this, even in the

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words of the prophets themselves, I don't even know slots was set up in the words of the companions themselves, the Sahaba, you know, a loss of how to what tada was, was, was giving lessons to the prophets and through the lessons to the prophets are lessons for us through the lessons to this infallible group of people write our lessons to us. And so somehow a lot, you know, when you look at the lives of the prophets, very human pain, very real pain, but the patience is extraordinary. And then the reward is extraordinary. And the station is extraordinary. Of course, the prophets do not commit, do not commit acts of evil, they don't fall find themselves in those situations because

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they're not like us and that Allah has protected them. They are muscle mean, they're infallible. Now

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Musashi has said, has a very interesting narration about him and Musashi his Salaam, is of course, you know, the most frequently spoken about prophet in the poor.

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And moosari, his Salaam had a very, very tough life. Right? If you look through the life of Masada, his Salaam, he really went through a lot right now. musante, his Salaam has two points in particular that we could focus on one of them is the regrets over the action that took place when he saw the Egyptian man and the man from bending Islam and fighting with one another. And he made an assumption he took a site and he did what he did. And as a result of that is pursued as a result of that finds himself in a devastating situation and the regret that that could possibly pose to Musashi Salaam and how he could end up really beating himself up over that. So that's one right. The other one is,

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you know, the fact that a lot of moose is suffering, especially in the end of his life was not because of his mistakes, but it was because of the bad decisions of other people. It was because of the mistakes of other people and sometimes it's even harder to swallow than your own. Like why do I have to suffer for these people? Most it could not enter into Jerusalem because of his people, right? Most artists that have suffered it, you know it because of the bad decisions that he did not make, right. So those are two very unique ways in which resentment and bitterness can be produced in a person and they could end up they could end up doing bad things. Now, of course, most is not never

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disobeyed a loss of Hannah Montana, he, he produced a favorable effort as a result of both of those outcomes right. He drew closer to a loss of Hannah Montana, and more sorry salon is who he is Kalima law, the one who Allah spoke to directly and there is absolutely nothing to be taken away from his station. The prophets lie some of them he tells us that musante is Salaam and this is a really interesting debate moosari his Salaam

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Joe us Adam I want to see Adam stuff I want to meet Adam it is Salaam who caused us and himself expelled from Paradise. Show me Adam it is Salaam who caused us and himself to be expelled from genda. right this is a pretty significant request right? So Allah subhana wa tada shows an item on Islam and this is most items first time seeing other Muslim, the first prophet the first. And moosari is Salaam the Prophet most spoken about in

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one of Oda has been one of the greatest messengers of Allah. And this is most eyes. Seeing them it is the lab for the first time. And he says to him and to abona Adam, are you our father Adam, the mighty Salaam says yes. He says, Are you the one who allowed read of his spirits into whom Allah breathed His Spirit taught you the smart taught you the names commanded the angels to prostrate to you for such a doula and so they prostrated to you? and other money? Some said Yes, that's me. All right. Now what's the next question? For Saudi is that answers femora hamelech Allah and Raja now enough second agenda what then caused you to do what would cause you and us to be expelled from

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China

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Like what all this honor that Allah gave you? What then caused you to do what you did that caused all of us to be in the situation where we were all expelled from Gemma

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Subhana Allah that's a direct claim at the mighty his Salaam. Why did you do that and cause all of us to be expelled from Jamaica. Now if you go back to optimize them before the answer comes back from other monies to them other money who's owned his sin right away and that's what made his repentance so sincere. Right? As soon as Adam it he said, I'm King, you know was was reproached Adam is allowed for tilaka Adam and Robbie Kelly Matt photography in the whole water while writing about Allah lambda and Susannah Mona was then akun animal hospital he immediately asked Allah for forgiveness, Allah subhana wa Tada. Elevated Adam and his Salaam, Adam it his salon isn't a higher

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ranking as a result of his job as a result of his repentance and coming back to Allah shavon. On the other hand, the devil on the other hand, went further and further away, Adam owned up to what he did. He didn't blame anyone else. Right. So this is a different question though. Right? Because Musashi is Salam is complaining about the outcome. This is where we are because of you. Right because of you. So other mighty his Salaam, he responds, and he says,

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And who are you? He said, I'm Moosa. I'm musasa. The Mighty who's Salaam says, aren't you the Prophet that Allah spoke to directly with no veil? And no messenger? Aren't you Kelly mala mo Salah, his Salah. And more Saudis have said yes. He said, so then what he said, Did you not find that that was decreed in the books and the records of Allah subhanaw taala before I was even created? He said, Yes, he said, Then why do you blame me about a thing for which Divine Decree had already passed before me? Why do you blame me for a thing for which Divine Decree had already passed before me? And also lustleigh salaam said, So Adam won the argument against Musashi? So Adam was right.

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How do we come to terms with this? Adam alayhis salam already had taken full ownership of the sin. He was challenging Moosa on the outcome. The point was that all of us were decreed for this earth and Allah how to plan for us that does not excuse the sin. But at the same time, the outcome of us being on earth that everything that comes with on Earth, that decree was already there, that decree was already there. So he was not blaming Allah for the sin, because that would that would have been, that would have taken away from the sincerity of the repentance of otherwise, which we know is sincere, a lot testifies to the sincerity of the repentance of a slave, Adam, it slammed when he

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comes back to him. But he's saying the outcome, at least the particular outcome, you're complaining about us being on Earth, that was going to happen? Regardless, that was going to happen regardless. So what does that mean for us? Even when we commit sin, we regret the sin but we don't dwell on the outcome in a way that would cause us to be paralyzed. we dwell on it to a point that it produces a sincere repentance. And yes, when you think about a sin that you committed in the past, that should cause you to repent and say stuff at all. I seek forgiveness from Allah. Yes, it should drag you to tears, it should drive you to step five.

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As far as the outcome is concerned, what do I do next? How do I make the most of the situation? How do I rise the way that Adam and his alarm rose right after all of this? And so Adam, it is Sam is teaching us a lesson here as our father, and we have to learn from that even in a situation where we commit sins, and this is where we don't despair, the way the shape on despair, the shape on the spirit of ALLAH, and he made things worse. at MIT. He said, he sought forgiveness from a lot and he made things better. He then focused on what was beneficial. So I'm not going to talk I'm not going to dwell on the outcome of all of this. I'm going to say, Okay, I fell, I sinned, I messed up. And I

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seek forgiveness from Allah. But I'm in a position to where I can still turn back to Allah subhanaw taala. That's the beauty of redemptions. The fact that you know, the prophets lie Selim did not just say that it's defar wipes, that is the far does away with the effect of sin. The prophets license says follow up the sin with a good deed tiempo ha, and it will wipe it out. So redeem yourself by using that new closest that you have to a lot to do a good deed and place of the sense so where the sin used to occupy a place on your scroll, replace it with a good deed and stuff, replace it with the

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Good Deed and stuff. beside a million stick to that which is beneficial to you turn to Allah subhana wa Tada, do not sit there and beat yourself up over the past, there's

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more to be written in your story, you don't even know what chapter of the story you're in right now, you don't have the full book, you're in a chapter you don't know, if you're on chapter two or chapter 12, you don't know how many chapters there are to your story. But don't beat yourself up over the previous chapters focus on making sure that the future chapters are good, that the one that you're currently in is good that the end of your book is the pleasure of a loss of how to attack and

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focus on that turn towards right, don't dwell on the past. Instead, think about how you can make the most of the present for the future. Don't dwell on it. That's what the profit slice I'm saying. Because if you open those doors of shavon, and you say, if I would have done this, if this would have been different, done differently, then what you're going to end up doing is you're just going to be constantly in a place of doubt and despair. And that's where Satan wants you to be because you won't be able to move towards Allah. And that's his ultimate goal is to keep you separated from him, you're not going to be able to make any movement forward. And so that's even with the case of sin,

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no thinking about everything and inshallah tada I'll use this to just wrap up

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tomorrow night did the 90 to Allah we're going to be going over the life of Ibrahim it set up and you can sign up for the webinar and shout out to Anna and we're going into the ledger and we're going to be putting out a lot of content regarding good hedge some of the previous year's content with some work you know, some workbooks and things to make the most of those lessons and salt but it really ties us to Ibrahim already set up well he might have his salon had a lot of wild turns in his life. Right? And you know at some point the thing is that you're he's you know you're not able to make sense if you're able to him or you set up these wild turns are not connecting to the previous

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wild turns but at the end of the story it all beautifully comes together. Right? Why did I Why did I go through here? What could I have made a better argument with my people? Why did I end up in Egypt? What about him by the way does not ask any of this I'm saying what he could have asked it his salon right but Ibrahima Islam is this, this this high, higher level of servitude and sitcom truthfulness with a loss of time that there's that's admirable it sets the standard I'm saying that if one of us maybe was in that situation, why this Why that? Why this? Why that right? Why is this my son born to me? If I was gonna, you know, leave him here? Why was he born in the first place? What What was the

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plan for his family? What's, why does this How come so much later on? He stood up, he doesn't ask any of those questions. He couldn't have asked those questions. He doesn't ask any of those questions. And look how a loss of what's out of brings the end of his story together so beautifully, to a point that his story is still unfolding today to the home of Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam and through the Hajj, and all these things, it's still unfolding constantly, right? It's so beautiful, how Allah subhanho wa Taala brought the whole story together with Ibrahim it is and that's the point, right? That's the point. You do not know what chapter you're in, you don't see the end of the

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story, you don't even know what chapter you're currently in. So don't focus on if I would have done this or if this would have turned out differently. focus on making sure that the end of the story is good.

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And that's the beauty of what we have from the Brahim it is set up. I do pray this bring some comfort to many people that feel stuck.

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We pray that Allah subhanaw taala activate us all towards his forgiveness towards his pleasure so that we seek repentance so that we glorify Him so that we do good so that we make it a point to use the past to propel us forward not to paralyze us so that even when we look at our sins we learn from our mistakes we don't beat ourselves up over our mistakes we repent from them and we learn from them so that we can have better Watada filling up our records in our scrolls when we meet a loss of kind of what's happened and inshallah Tao look forward to going over the life of Ibrahim is with you all and I'll be announcing inshallah Tata in tomorrow night's webinar on the life of Ibrahima Islam

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you know, what are the hedges series is going to be inshallah Tada. So I pray that Allah subhanaw taala make this a benefit to all of us, myself included, I pray that the loss of parents I forgive us for our shortcomings, that Allah subhanaw taala allow us always to be in a state of Inaba of being turned towards him when he like Ibrahim, Iceland turned towards him, and Toba and an A Baba and worship and in repentance, I pray that Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us

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To meet him in the best state of faith, I pray that Eliza to make the best of our the best of our deeds, the last of them and they make the best of our days. The day that we meet him subhana wa tada May Allah subhanho wa Taala accept from us all the deeds that we are capable of doing and the deeds that we intend to do, but we are not capable of doing I mean Allah Subhana Allah forgive us for all of our sins, the small ones and the large ones, the private ones and the public ones and they lost some kind of hope to be with our brothers and sisters all over the world that are suffering and loss to aid the oppressed wherever they are. And they have lots of hands on which allow us to move

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forward collectively as an alumna. I mean, we'll slowly learn more Southern Nevada kind of you know, Mohammed on earth he will start to be a terrain so now mighty come to LA he