Nouman Ali Khan – Timeless Manners

Nouman Ali Khan
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the concept of privacy, including not being able to enter someone's house until they are wanted and privacy of one's home. They stress the importance of privacy for everyone, not just for privacy of one's home. The speaker also emphasizes the need for safe behavior and a YouTube journey to learn the language of the Prophet.
AI: Transcript ©
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He says yeah you Halina Amanullah, that Hulu Turner aw Tico had that initial, he says those of you who have faith, those of you who claim to believe, don't enter homes that are not your own, unless you can sense that you are wanted. Now the basic idea is, obviously you don't walk into somebody else's house until you ring the bell, or until you knock on the door. Or even if you see the door open, you don't just walk in. Right, that's, that's crazy. But that's actually happened to me. But you know, somebody, I used to live next door to a masjid and I used to get called by there regularly. And I live next door. And my door was half a little bit open because my my daughter was

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playing and she was going in and out. So she left at half open. And some fellow just literally walked into my house, just all the way and I'm looking for another new one.

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And the first thing I did is push him out of my house and closed the door behind him. And I said that's not what you do. This is not a restaurant. This is not this is not a machine. This is not an airport is not a public building. It's somebody's house, they deserve privacy. Right. So you can't just walk into somebody's home. Obviously, that's not some Islamic rule. That's just everybody knows that it's common sense. But Allah goes a step above, not just saying you should knock on the door, or you should get permission before you enter or nowadays ring the bell or whatever else right? Or you know the buzzer, or show yourself on the camera, whatever way you have of getting inside. But

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instead, he adds not had that Dino until you seek permission, which is obvious. He said hit that knee. So until you can sense that you are wanted. In other words, you have a friend, you know that he goes to work comes home at eight o'clock, he's probably tired, then he's gonna have dinner, maybe some time with his family. And by 10 o'clock, he's probably going to pass out, you should have the sense to know that at two in the morning, you should not be Hey, bro, I was wondering if you want to hang out and go outside his house and knock on his door. And then when he comes out like this, you'd say it's not a bad time, right?

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You should have the common sense to know that that's not a time when you are wanting that's not an appropriate time. Or for, for instance, you know that the husband is at work, or they're gone. That's not a time for you to show up when you know only the wife is at home, or only the kids are at home, and then show up and say hey, I wanted to drop something off, you know, drop it off at a time when you're actually wanted. So first of all have the sense of when is it appropriate to go to somebody's home. The remarkable thing, you know, there are multiple words in Arabic for homes, you can say Masakan, you can say der, you can also say boo youth. And the word bait, which is a common

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word for home actually comes from the verb data. And butter means to spend the night. Okay, so if somebody engages in the act of bait, it means they spent the night somewhere our home is called our home, because we spend the night there. And the idea behind the word bait is the night is a time for great privacy. Even the sky offers us privacy at night. So the idea being not just that you don't go to somebody's home when you're not wanted, but actually don't enter into people's privacy. When you know it's not wanted, don't pry into people's lives by showing up or by poking. Nowadays, our homes are also virtual, for example, it's not just that you have a home with a door and curtains on the

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window that protects your privacy. Now your home is on your phone, you're dealing with home matters on your phone, you're talking to somebody, you're exchanging WhatsApp messages, or whatever. And your friend comes over from behind your shoulder and he's like,

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you know, just kind of poking over what you're doing.

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That's private, that's part of their home. Now, don't just peek into somebody else's private matters unless you are what your wanted, unless it's wanted of you. So the idea of preserving privacy of the other, the idea of preserving privacy of the other is where this conversation starts. That's not the only instruction in desire. It's the first instruction of desire. And it's actually means that you shouldn't you should you know, your circle, the people you are involved with the people whose homes you go to the people, you're befriending the people you talk to all the time, they are people, the kinds of questions you ask them, or the kinds of conversations you you have with them, you should

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have the sense to know should I even be asking this question? Is that is that a wanted question? Like, you know, some people, they'll, they'll go to a married couple that's been married for a few years and algorithms. So when you're going to have a baby,

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right? Is that Is that a question they want? Is that something they want to hear? You know, or when you get when you're once your daughter's gonna get married? God is he's getting old. You know, is that a wanted question? You know, or you know, somebody's been out of a job so still no job, huh?

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These are not wanted questions, you should have the sense that if they let you into their home, they let you into their safe place, that your tongue and your eyes are actually not going to cause them any harm. That the things you say that the conversations you have are safe for them. That's why they let you into their sanctuary. So people within a certain circle in your life, you have to be safe for them, and they have to be safe for you. Now the thing with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is people loved him so much, that they almost forgot that he's also a person.

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Though when they see him, they just want to ask him a question. Right? It doesn't matter how tired he is, or what he just came from, or how many things he's just dealt with. They just want to talk to him. So Sahaba would come over to his house all the time. And when you're sitting with the prophets, why Selim you don't want to leave, right? You just want to stay and the prophets why Selim is too nice to tell them to leave. So they're sitting there, and they're talking to the Prophet sites on and he's answering them, and he's talking back to them, and he's giving them responses and he's being courteous host. Until Quran came and said, Get out. You're disturbing Allah's Messenger. He

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was too nice to say it himself. He wouldn't say it himself. And Allah revealed to the Sahaba you can't do that to him, You need to leave. You need to observe his privacy to you need to observe his courtesy also, you know, similarly in social gatherings, let me tell you this simple etiquette of this estate NAS Allah says this about people going into people's homes, but it goes further than that. Like, for example, if you're, you know, you're sitting at a dinner, two people are having a conversation, right? And there's a lot of people having different conversations, but two people are having a conversation. And you see this one of these people is someone you know, what do you do? You

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interrupt their conversation as they go.

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And the person they're already talking to her like what just happened? And they don't get us alarm? Because you don't know them? This will this one gets a setup and you start a new conversation with them. As if that conversation didn't matter. There was no estate NAS, there was no courtesy or is this wanted right now? Is this interruption, okay? Because you can let them know that you're here. They have peripheral vision, they can see that you're there. And they can say to the friend they're having a conversation with Hold on a second, let me just say salaam to this one. I know him or I know her and they say Salaam and then they come back to this conversation. That's courtesy, isn't

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it? So the idea of hepatitis tetanus is a very powerful one. It's actually taking into consideration are am i Are you being disruptive? Are we being rude? Are we being intrusive? Are we too curious about somebody else's personal life? When we're having conversations with them? Are we saying things that are not they wouldn't want us to say those kinds of things are asked us those kinds of questions. That's actually part of the sense that's captured inside that destiny.

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