The Better Response To Argument
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
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lsvt loud because I talked to you about that particular one in football by itself. We talked about wisdom in a separate club and hikma call to the way of your master using wisdom. And then last time I talked to you but not well molar invited has been using good counsel so call to the way of your master using wisdom and good counsel and beautiful counsel. We're coming to the almost the last part of this is Elijah de l'homme bility, here is an easy translation of that would be and debate them or argue back with them in a way that is more beautiful, or in the in with using that which is better, more specific, more literally using that which is better. So the first thing that is important to
note here is Allah has made a separation between calling people to his way and arguing with them. So he didn't put those two things together in which the merata farakka, when two verbs come together, or two nouns come together, two concepts come together, the point of them is to highlight that they're two different things. So calling people to Allah using wisdom and calling people to allow using good counsel is one thing. And arguing with them is another thing debating with them is another thing. And this is important, because a lot of times people are engaged in, you know, debates with atheists, or debates with Christians or debates about religion, or Muslim versus non
Muslim, etc, or even debates within Islam within among Muslims. And they're calling it that. They're calling it invite, that means inviting to the way of Allah calling people to the way of Allah, those two are a separate category. And those are for people who are basically it's for people who may not have known anything, and now you're exposing them to something so you're not coming across aggressive anyway. You know, the way you the tone you take and the way you make an argument. And the way you refute somebody when you're debating with somebody, obviously, someone has an opposing point of view. And you're, you know, you have every right to say, Well, here's why I don't agree with you.
And here's why I think what you believe or what you hold to be true, I don't hold that to be true. And here's why here are my reasons, right. So you can have a back and forth about your reasons and their reasons. But that doesn't assume that somebody else has an opposing point of view. This is really cool and important. Because when you're giving that while you're assuming that that person is a clean slate, and you're just exposing them to something beautiful. You're not exposing them to something beautiful, by showing them how wrong they are. Or undoing what they what you think they believe. You know, it's almost as if their worldview, as far as you're concerned, doesn't even
exist. You're not responding or reacting to their way of thinking. You're just presenting what you have. So, you know, I'm gonna prove to you
For example, because I'm going to prove to you that the Bible has mistakes and the Quran is right, etc, etc. That's not that what to a Christian, for example, because for someone who's a Christian that you have to happen to be friends with, or whatever, and you just wanted to introduce them to the Quran, you don't want to introduce them by first slapping their belief, and then saying, and let me show you how right I am and how wrong you are. Just that's human nature. Nobody wants to hear that. And that's actually not even the prophets way of all of the prophets. That's not what they did. But there will always be people that when you give good counsel, or when you present your point
of view with wisdom, there will be some who will be interested in countering what you just said, well, you say this, but I believe you said x, but I believe why. And here's why I believe y and the the are coming back at you with a an opposing point of view, which is no longer that what we've that our stage is over for a select group of people. Now we're entering into what you can call g da, da, da, da da da means to argue and Jaga means to argue back to give evidences and the idea, meaning, I'm not going to accept what you just told me at face value. And here are my reasons. Right? And so now the back and forth begins, what do you want to call it a debate and argument, a discussion of
back and forth, whatever phrasing you want to use, that's fine.
But then Allah put a condition on that kind of exchange to he didn't just say, well, you can argue back and crush them or whatever. The first incredible thing here is, in the first part of the ayah, Allah did not say call them he said call to the way of your master through lsvt. Big not Boudreau, whom LSB little bit just call call to the way of your master using wisdom using good counsel. He didn't say call who, because it's open ended. But then some people come back at you, and they want to be argumentative, or they want to they want to engage in some kind of discussion, right or debate. Those people are a subset of everybody. So what happens next, he didn't say argue in the way
that is best or debate in the way that is best. Now, he says debate then which ideal home? Now there's a mention of them? What does that tell you? That debate is a very specific thing for very specific groups of people. And that's not the open ended policy of Islam or of Muslims, that they just want to go on looking for debates. In fact, you're only coming, you're only engaging in a debate, if somebody is pulling you into one. If they're coming to you, and they want to drag you into a debate, fine, you're ready for it. But you're not going around asking for debates. That's not what you're doing. On the flip side, you have, for example, just as an example, from the prophets
life's a lot longer earlier,
when the Prophet Alayhi Salam was living in Medina and machineable view was formed, word was spreading in the region, not just the immediate vicinity of Medina and Mecca, but other tribes and other, you know, a kind of ripple effect in the entire region, that there is a man claiming to be a prophet who believes in all of the previous scriptures. So he claims that he's confirming what the Old Testament has what the Torah has what the Injeel has. He even acknowledges Jesus as the Son of a virgin mother, but doesn't believe that he's got that Jesus is God or the Son of God. And he's claiming to have this final revelation from God. And he's a fulfillment of prophecy that was given
before where to start spreading about that. And there are Christian and Jewish tribes in the vicinity, in the further outskirts of Arabia, that are now coming to hear about this rumor about a prophet who's claiming to fulfill scripture. And some of them from the drawn from the region of Nigeria and say, well, we want to check this out. He's claiming this to be true. And they are waiting for some kind of a prophecy to be fulfilled. So this is let's just find out what he's talking about. So actually, clergyman, these were people of religion, these were people that were ordained in their church hierarchy, you know, and they, they came to meet with the Prophet salallahu
alaihe salam, and they stayed in Machina boy, so these Christian ministers, these priests, and these, these worshipers that were from the hierarchy and, you know, of the of the church, they stayed inside the machine, during the weeks in which they wanted to engage in the profits, so engaged with the prophets of Solomon are in discussion. Right. And they used to worship. However, they worship the Christian way of worship inside the question. While they were guests of the Prophet alayhi salatu salam, right. And then the Quran was now giving them argument back about the reality of Jesus and who Jesus was and what actually happened with Mary and the family background and the
struggle of Jesus and the alleged crucifixion, all of those ions in alien Milan were revealed at that time when those people were there. Right, and this was a back and forth, and they were now as they were hearing these arguments, they were now the Quran. When it was being revealed. It wasn't just giving them information. Allah was speaking on behalf of what he wants the prophet to know. But Allah is all knowing. He also knows what they know.
So Allah has both points of view, before they even open their mouth. Allah knows what they know. And Allah knows if they've discovered something when they were doing their own studies, that corresponds to what the Prophet is saying, solo lahardee wasallam, but they're hiding it because if they say it out loud, they'll lose the argument.
Right? So they're kind of like, let's not bring that one up. Right? Because they, they're knowledgeable in the Scripture. And so if they're engaging in an argument, and their intention is to find the truth, that's something else. But if they came with the intention of winning this argument,
and then they find even in their own personal circle, in their own studies, that some of the Scripture and some of the writings of their their, you know, their leaders are pointing them in the direction of Muhammad Sallallahu, alayhi wasallam, then maybe we should skip that part. And if we skip it, Mohammed won't know. They don't say sallallahu, Alayhi. Salaam we do. He won't know, why won't he know because he doesn't know our scripture. So even if we don't mention that we have this with us, then we're gonna, you know, dodged a bullet, basically. And we might be able to win this argument. But the problem was, they didn't recognize that Allah knows what they show and what they
hide. And so Allah revealed in the Quran, why are you hiding testimony and you already know,
like, and this was actually the and this was an offense against Allah, you came all this way to find the truth about Allah. And now the truth is speaking to you. One time that Luna Al Kitab, you're reading the book yourselves. And so there's very critical eye art in alien run about those people that came knowing the truth. And yet they were trying to deliberately highly hide it. While they were, they were in the presence of the profits a little low.
So the IRS started getting very aggressive. You notice the IRS, you know, talking to the people of the book, start getting very aggressive. Now if people don't understand that, they think that those ions are talking to every Christian,
or talking to every Jew, if they're not, they're talking to a very particular bunch of people that studied their own scripture and came to conclusions that were starting to agree with what the prophet was saying to them, and didn't and wanted to hide it. And they weren't even telling the Prophet that but you don't have to tell the Prophet Allah already knows. Allah will tell the Prophet closer them so let's start giving him these answers. And then finally, Allah was so offended that they are in the presence of the truth and they're rejecting it for no good reasons. That allows a witch hunt then reveal reveal to them a challenge would roll up in an hour manisa anomalisa Well,
you know, unfortunately one four second film went up to him you know, if they still want to hold on to what they have, then tell them call your you know, your your children and our children or your women or women ourselves also someone after he will stand up face to face and we'll say whoever is wrong me a lot. Kirsten Panetta, Allah tala Holika dB, may Allah curse those who are lying. But that debate with that very drastic, aggressive conclusion at the end, was because Allah was actually moderating that debate.
Allah was presenting the argument from one side directly through the prophets listen to that particular audience you understand? That does not mean that I go out to the church down the street in my you know, I we live in Texas, there's there's plenty of churches. So I find a church down the street and say, Hey, bring your kids, I'll bring my kids, bring your women, we'll bring our women from our family. And we're gonna say, whoever wins this debate and whoever is on the truth may be saved and whoever is not on the truth may or may they all die of a curse.
Me God's curse me. And that's not the Islamic way of debate. But this was the case when people were in the presence of the Prophet himself so Salaam and Allah knew about them, and they were knowledgeable and they were hiding it. That's what that's what them and Allah now, but in that case, because they were in the prophets presence, it was a different scenario. Now, what is the teaching that Allah is giving us about debate itself? He says, Well, jardel humility, he acid, debate them in a way that is with that, which is more beautiful. That's an interesting word, because that means that sometimes people use ways in debate that are ugly. And debates can get ugly, analyzing, keep
things more beautiful. And the word beautiful and better are similar in Arabic accent can be used for better and can be used for more beautiful. So keep things civil, keep things dignified, keep things beautiful, and also use better arguments. If they come up with an argument, then use better arguments. Don't use anything else, but better arguments. Yeah, don't be lazy here. So what I wanted to do in this course, is highlight to you what are some ugly ways of making arguments? What are some ways to contaminate an argument and that are unfair, and, you know, in philosophy studies, they call these logical fallacies. And it's a it's it sounds like a big word but it's really simple idea. And
the idea is if two people are having a disagreement with each other than just like in a sports match, right? You know, one athlete could cheat and they could maybe not fight the the judge doesn't find out that they are the referee doesn't find out that they
Then the rules, right? So the same way in an argument, one opponent can use certain tactics while making an argument that are actually not fair. And they are not a way to win an argument, they're a way to make it look like you won an argument. You understand. So let's talk about some of those tactics that the Quran in different places talks about that I won't go into detail of where the Quran talks about that. But I want to introduce you to some of these tactics. If for example, you make the person you're talking to feel the pressure, that if they don't agree with you, that harm will come their way.
Right? If they don't, if they are, debate is happening and discussion is happening. But your site is safe, and their site is what? unsafe. So if part of the argument is listen, if you don't agree with me, you're gonna burn in hell. For example,
you know, the most immediate threat could be you know, you better agree with me, because I wouldn't want you to lose your job over this. you threaten somebody financially, you threaten somebody, you know, socially, you threaten somebody in the worldly sense. But also in the other worldly sense. If you don't agree with me, you're gonna burn in hell. That is not you arguing. That's not an argument. Now you are using their emotions, and their need to feel safe to influence their thought process. Yes, giving somebody good news and giving somebody warnings is part of that power. But it's not part of Sudan. It's part of inviting somebody inviting somebody to heaven, letting somebody no the
terrors of hell, so they can save themselves from it. That's not for argument that's for spreading a message about the truth about the afterlife. But if you're engaged in a debate, that's not the place for it. That's not the time you say, Well, you know, you're gonna burn in hell, if you don't agree with me. Now, I should agree with you, because it makes sense to me, I should agree with you, because you would set something logical, because your evidences are sound, because you've shown me that the way I was thinking about this was incorrect, or the facts that I presented aren't actually facts, that if you were able to show me that I should agree with you. But if I'm scared, for some
reason, or my safety is in question for some reason, and therefore I agreed with you, I stopped using my head.
I no longer agreed with an argument, I just ran toward safety, you understand? So that's a logical fallacy. Don't use that an argument and don't let them use that against you. Or you want to keep agreeing, if you're using this argument against the prophet SAW Selim, and saying, Well, you know, I want the best for you. I want you to understand what we're saying here, because you're important to this tribe. And we wouldn't want you to lose the safety you have with this tribe. Now, they can say that lovingly, but behind that as a threat, isn't it, that if you hold on to your Islam, you no longer have the security of the tribe. When we your fair game, you're going to be fair game. So you
can you don't have to raise your voice or, you know, actually issue verbal threats. But if behind your words, you are trying to scare somebody, intimidate somebody, or manipulate their emotions in some way, you're no longer in a beautiful argument, that's gone. A lie basically tells us they may use these tactics, don't use those back. Right. So that's one to instill fear in some way direct or indirect, instill fear, or the use of force, or the use of a threat.
Another very common logical, maybe I'll talk to you about two or three of them today. And that's it, maybe we'll we'll see. Because I want you to really think about those and how they play a role in your life in mind, these kinds of tactics. Another logical fallacy is that you can make someone feel awkward or ashamed for saying what they're going to say to make their argument. So the person is thinks twice before they make their case, even though there are cases logical cases, reasonable their cases based on evidence, but they start thinking if I say that you'll be offended, right? or How could I, there's an elder, I'm going to talk to them like that. I'm going to say that to them.
I'm going to say the religion of your ancestors was based on a myth.
And I can prove it to you how hurtful their feelings be. I shouldn't say that to them. I should hold that back. And to make someone feel like I, you know, I'd love to argue with you. But you're so disrespectful. And they're not disrespectful with because you're not being disrespectful because you're using bad words, or because you're being humiliating or cursing or anything like that. You're being considered disrespectful, because the facts that you are presenting the truth that you are presenting is offensive to someone who wants to hold on to a myth. It's hurting their feelings. And also you're saying all of us are wrong.
You're saying it doesn't make any sense. Why? Because you said so. Now, here's the evidence. You know, Ibraheem alehissalaam used to do that he had to do that. He had to tell his father, that he knows something that that has no idea what he's talking about. In Nicaragua and even a Mullah meiotic for tyranny that's really offensive to tell your father I know something you don't know. You need to follow me
to question the father's religious beliefs and say I don't see any any sense in what you're doing. There's no evidence
behind it, there's no reasoning behind it. And because you're smart enough to know that what you're going to say, even if it's not meant to be offensive, but the thing about truth is truth is offensive.
The straight facts are offensive to somebody who wants to hold on to a lie. They don't want to let go of that. And that can start influencing you. And you say, I should use this argument. But really, I don't want to hurt their feelings. So I won't use this argument.
The way you speak, I've talked about that 100 times, I'm not talking about you taking a disrespectful tone, or saying using bad words or bad tactics, but the truth doesn't care about feelings.
The truth is just the truth. If they need to hear that, even if it hurts their feelings, in an argument, you shouldn't be considerate of their feelings and withhold information. You understand, and that's the second. So one was, you're afraid for your safety, and you held back. And the other is you're afraid for their feelings, or they're going to get offended, and you hold back and that's again, a logical fallacy. Allah says stick to what is most beautiful, what's the most beautiful thing the truth? was the most beautiful thing what Allah has given me Allah has given is definitely offensive. There's no doubt about it. Koran is beautiful to a believer, but it's very offensive to a
disbeliever, isn't it? It's so it's so offensive, that the nicest human being that ever lived so long earlier, saddam became public enemy number one, because he was saying
these words were coming out of his mouth. And they were so offensive to people that they're ready to kill him. He hasn't committed murder. He hasn't used bad words. He's just spoken the truth, hasn't he? But the Quran is such blazing truth that it scorches those who want to hide behind lies, who want to stay in the end, it's almost like, let me tell you the example. If someone if the lights are off for a long time, and you're in the dark for a long time, and somebody turns the lights on what happens to your eyes. I know kind of what being exposed to the truth feels like, right? When you give light to somebody like that. You're like, no, I shouldn't be I should care about their eyes,
keep them in the dark. No, don't turn it all the way on. Go easy. No, if they are saying, well, there's no light, there's no light. No, there is here. And that may be offensive to somebody. They may be hurtful to somebody, but you got to do what you got to do. You've got to speak truth. And that's again, what jardel humbleth. Here. This is not by the way. Hey, Mom, I heard about today's so I've decided to drop the truth on? No, because the dial is for people who come to you with argument. Yes. We're not talking about just any conversation. And family matter is a completely different matter. family situations are complicated, they're completely different. There are plenty of
examples in the Quran of people that made argument or said horrendous things to family. And there were other ways of dealing with it. And we'll I'll show you those two. I'll show you you know, maybe in a later hub, how to deal with some of them. But now we've got two logical fallacies, one where you're scared to where you're scared for somebody else's feelings and therefore you bend, you know the truth a little bit. The third and final one for today that I want to share with you is when someone speaks on your behalf, let me fix that. Someone Miss speaks on your behalf.
And then refutes what they say they claim you said this was actually done in the time of the Prophet. Listen, I'll give you an example. So this sits better in your mind.
The Quran clearly says Jesus is not the Son of God, right? The Quran clearly says that Jesus is just a human being Yes. Some quarter ish came out and said, well, first he says Jesus is the Son of God. Now he says Jesus is not the Son of God. It doesn't make any sense.
I don't even understand these people with their contradictions. Wait, what? The Quran never said Jesus is
the Son of God. But you came out with so much confidence and claimed that the Quran says in fact that Jesus is the Son of God. And then you said, Oh, it contradicts itself by saying Jesus is not the Son of God. Therefore, it's not acceptable because he's got too much contradiction going on. This is a game that is played when someone Miss speaks on your behalf. While you believe this, there's this one, which doesn't make any sense. And they'll come up with the most absurd claim against you, that you they say you said or you believe. And when you hear that you're like, wait, I've never said anything like that. I've never believed anything like that. Where do you get this
from? And you get sidetracked, undoing the misquote. I never said that. No, that's not what I believe. That's not what I No, no, no. And you know what they've done. It's so clever. What they've done is now they've taken you off your actual argument. And they've tangled you up in a new creative argument that they created that never existed.
It never it never had to be acknowledged because you never said that anyway.
The way the Quran deals with that, is it ignores it altogether.
It just ignores it altogether and reinforces what it says to begin with, instead of saying no, the Quran never said that in the masala Sangha, like, Adam holla calm and as far as Jesus is concerned, he's just like Adam, as far as God is concerned. He made it from dirt and said Be and he became, that's it done, there is no reason to undo the misconception. And because that's a new word, nowadays, that is probably the most appropriate for this kind of logical fallacy. You get so busy undoing misconceptions that you lose sight of your original argument to begin with, with Jonathan hability. here as an actually means you don't get sidetracked. You don't get pulled into creative
allegations of what you supposedly believe, or what people believe on your behalf. And you get swayed this way. That way, the other way? Actually, no, you can. You want to deal with that you can deal with that. But we're gonna stay on subject. Because people who argue, either they really want to get to the truth, or they just want to throw you off track. That's their only goal, throw you off track. And the way they can throw you off track is by distracting you from one side. And another side. Another side. And I've I've said this in previous such as well concluded with this, this hobo with the following.
In arguments, sometimes they come somebody comes to you and says, Well, what does Islam say about XYZ? What does that say about women? Right? And you're talking about women, but then why do you want to kill everyone?
No, we don't. We don't want to kill anybody. What do you mean want to kill it? And you know, why do you believe in the moon God? Moon God? What moon God, don't you follow the rules? You worship the moon? Is that crazy? Why do you people worship the moon? And so you they say one crazy thing? And you're like, No, no, you're not crazy. Let me show you that. We're not crazy. And you're so busy answering question number one, they and as soon as you're done answering that you're not even finished answering that. What do they do? Real quick, crazy. Question number two. And you're thrown off to question number two, and then number three, and then number four, and you're so busy
answering everything Islam is not. You're so busy arguing everything that you don't believe
that they never give you a chance to actually talk about what you do believe. See how clever that is? And an hour will go by? And you're like, ah, I answered all your questions, right? And you know what they'll do? If the answer 20? If they asked 20 of those crazy questions. Well, you never really answered question number one.
I'll go back to number one.
I can't do this. This is hard. Why don't they get it? Because they don't want to get it. They didn't throw these questions at you. Because they want the answers. They want these questions because they want to see you stumble. They want to see you stagger. That's that's the point of debate. You know, and these are, again, what you get if this was a, you know, like a sport, these would be illegal tactics. Right? But an argument, this stuff is used all the time, all the time to throw somebody off to make them feel like, well, you couldn't really answer my question. So I guess, you know, we'll leave it at that. It's okay. Don't worry about it. And now you feel like you didn't have the
answers. Or you feel stumped, even though you didn't say anything wrong. You get it. It's the impression of it, that matters to them. For us. It's the facts, the information, the truth itself that matters. So this last portion of the ayah when we talk about Allah, and by the way, God, listen, just Allah didn't restrict the ayato argument happens between Muslims and non Muslims, about religion. It could be arguments within Muslims. It could be disagreements within ourselves. These tactics can be used by anybody. It's not used by one group and not the other, right? You and I can use these tactics, we can make somebody feel bad for giving a response. By the way, if they give a
good response, if they give a completely logical response, what can you do to make them feel bad for being right? I can't believe you just said that.
Really, this is this is how you answer me. This is really what you wanted to say.
Those words just came out of your mouth. Now, those kinds of statements when you've left something now, nothing wrong. You've just said there's only one God or something like that. Something basic, something true. But somebody can respond in such an offended way that you're like, taking step back. And I don't want to hurt your feelings will kill kill, kill, stop arguing. Okay, leave it leave, you leave it, you know. And so when the law says we're judging home validity here, we have to become mindful of a number of logical fallacies that can throw us off. And we have to rise above them and learn how to rise above all of them. When we are engaged in that kind of argument. And by the way,
at the end of it, if, if you're talking to somebody and you don't slip up in any of these, you don't get trapped in any of these. You know, I've only
I mentioned three today, but maybe in future, who knows, we'll talk about more. But if you if you refuse to fall and skip and slip up, then you'll notice that the person you're talking to, will start getting extremely offended.
Because their tricks aren't working, you're staying on point. And at that point, they can start getting really ignorant with you. And when they start getting ignorant with you, then Allah says is the heart of our human journey, do not call us Allah, when the ignorant and when the outrageous, talk to them address them. They just say peace, and we're done. We're not having this is no longer a conversation. This is just insulting. Now, this is you're just too angry to make sense. Now, whatever. So you walk away peacefully, and you just say peace and you're done. There's no reason to see an argument through and stay in it when there's no point. And when you see a person is not
coming to reason and getting frustrated and angry, and all of that, maybe another time or salon, it's okay. You don't have to you don't have to stay in it all 20 rounds, you don't have to do that. You don't have to see them knocked out. It's not a contest. The point is stick to that which is more beautiful. And don't let things get ugly, at least on your side. But that you can control the other person right? They can be let things get ugly. And when they do let things get ugly, you have the choice to walk away. milazzo didn't give us the sense to know when to walk away. And to be able to hold on to these principles of argument in light of a large book, and make us a source of goodness
for people. So when genuinely, people come and debate and I should have said this in the beginning. But I'll conclude with that. There are two kinds of people that will argue people that want to argue for the sake of arguing and want to see You humiliated and people that actually want to know the truth. They can argue to write and when they are present, they're not going to use logical fallacies. They're going to use reason and evidence. That's what they're going to use. And those kinds of people when they come to us or when you know if you're one of those people realize we'll help you find an opportunity where you can engage in a healthy back and forth a healthy exchange
where the truth rises to the top. Monica Loney, welcome, Phil. Hakeem. Wonderful anyway, yeah, it was
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