Surah Yusuf #11

Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

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He Loves Them More!

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© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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When I'm on the internet, oh, okay, okay.

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salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. RO Billahi min ash shaytaan Raji katakana Fie Yusuf alayhi wa t he told me this

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he is called Lula usofa who have

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been, I mean, wanna know Spa in a ban Allah, Allah Lim will be rubbish. I certainly agree. Dr. Tammy lasagna, Kali Al Hamdulillah salat wa salam, O Allah Rasool Allah, Allah Allah, he was a big man in Ahmedabad. Everyone Somali Kumara delight out of the gutter. So we're back here again trying to an earth more of the treasures inside the story of Yusuf Ali Salaam. Today I'm going to try to talk about is number seven, and eight. And these two are tied together. And there are some brief comments on seven and then quite a few things to discuss in number eight. So hopefully we can accomplish both of those goals in a reasonable amount of time. The first thing to note here is that scene one is

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over scene one is the intimate conversation between Yusuf Ali Salaam and his father. He told him the dream and then dad responded with a couple of things. Now that's come to a conclusion and Allah makes a concluding comment that ties the scene up. So it's Allah as the narrator of the story. Now, excuse me my oven.

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This is why I keep my phone on silent. And I remember when we say why you keep your phone on silent, because I'm always giving lectures. That's why that's why that just happened. I'm really Islamic. So my phone has prayer app. Okay. So anyway, so let God kind of use our equity Ayah to decide in the concluding comment is now I'll give you guys a brief translation first. Certainly in Yusuf and his brothers, there have been many signs, many lessons, many divine Signs for those who ask questions, and for those who seek. Okay, so that's a rough translation. The first thing to note is, when I said certainly, I was trying to capture some sense of the Arabic laqad, Ghana. But luckily, kana is used

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in Arabic for a few things, it can be used to emphasize an act. So there's definitely a lot to learn. The point being there's definitely a lot to learn from use of. And you definitely have a lot to learn from his brothers. So long as you're the kinds of people that ask questions, if you're curious if you want to know if the many of your questions are going to get answered by paying attention to use of not just use of also his brothers. Now again, because we know the rest of the story already. It's not like it's being revealed one at a time to us, we have the entire thing in front of us. His brothers play only a partial role in the story, as far as their mentioned is

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concerned, they're mentioned in the beginning, then there's a long period in the story where they're invisible, and then they kind of get mentioned at the end again, right so, but now they're being placed at this pivotal point and ally saying you have a lot to learn from Youssef and his brothers. And the truth is, we have a lot to learn from you. So we have a lot to learn from his brothers, we have a lot to learn from the Minister and the minister's wife and the prisoners. And like all the characters we're gonna get introduced to including the Father, we have a lot to learn from all of them. But for some reason, Allah azza wa jal has highlighted this phrase, where we have much to

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learn from Yusuf and his brothers and I, what I you know, my sense of this, as, as per my discussions with Chef sohaib to is this not just you have a lot to learn from Yusuf Ali Salman, there's lots of ayat in him in what is talked about him. And there are lots of biotin what is talked about them, but use of and his brothers, meaning the relationship they have with each other has a lot to teach you, not just them as individual groups or entities or characters in the story. But the relationship between Yusuf and his brothers. There's a lot to learn from it. For those of you that has questions that have questions, the other implication of laqad kana is it can be used for

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something that's been going on for a long time. As if Allah is saying, yes, this story is being revealed now in Arabic in the best possible way. But the lessons to be learned from what happened with use of and his brothers, those lessons have been around for a long time for any who would have had questions. So it's not something new that's being told to you in that sense that that part of the story of their dynamic and that relationship has actually always been there, and there was much to learn from it. And in it may even be a dig that there was so much to learn from it that people that should have learned from it didn't learn, right? That's always been there. And for those who

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would have had questions, they would have had something to learn from it. And it's also in a sense, in a in a subtle way responding to those who tried to ask a question to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Oh yeah, how did the Israelites get it make it make their way into Egypt? And Allah says there is a lot to learn for those who actually have real questions and use of and his brothers like it's, it's redirecting a negative question, asked for the wrong intentions and actually redirecting it to the right intentions and saying you

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No, I know you asked us to try to stump allies messenger. But if you were people have genuine questions you would have learned a lot from this story. Too bad that you don't want to learn from this story in order to get guidance, you want to ask a question about the story to prove that he's not a prophet. You know, so there's something wrong with the way that you think about questions. And in it, Allah has also given us guidance about what does it mean to ask questions? We are, we're seeking answers to problems in our life. The purpose of Revelation is not to address our curiosity. You know, I, you know, all but drop down responding to comments on social media on even on the

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videos that I'm posting here, but I observe the comments, certainly. And one of the common questions is, did you know they had the minister's wife? Did he end up marrying her? Whatever happened to her? what's what's going on with this guy? I gave a whole thing about that before, but people want to keep asking that question. And it's cool if you want to know. But the thing is, Allah is giving us a reorientation about how we think about questions. What kind of questions should we be asking of the Quran? The Quran is not the reading of a magazine. The Quran is not the reading of a textbook. The Quran is not a watching of a TV episode. The Quran is guidance. And the questions we should be

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asking the Quran is how is this going to guide my life? Now, if you know what happened to delay, or you don't know what happened to her? Or if Allah chose not to tell you guess what if Allah chose not to tell you maybe didn't have much to do with your guidance, but now it still has to do with your curiosity. So it can be that somebody is approaching the Quran asking questions about the Quran, but asking the wrong questions, and therefore not getting what they're supposed to get from the Quran. Now, the other thing about Sal in Arabic is that it can also mean the one who needs the you know, the the one the beggar is also called a sign. And I, you know, even though this has not been

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classically, so much commented on my read of this, Allahu Alem is also we all have emotional needs. And we find ourselves in desperate situations in life, when it comes to our dealings with our relationships. And for those of you and myself that find ourselves at a juncture where we don't know how to deal with a certain situation, Allah is telling us in this relationship, you might find a lot of answers, for those of you that are in need for answers, and are in a place where you need help, then pay attention to use of not just use of also pay attention to his brothers. Right. So we are used to paying attention to profits. But now we're paying attention to those who this group of

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people that actually caused the profit a lot of trouble and pay attention and you'll learn a lot from them. I am also in a previous lecture in alien Milan, I talked about how the word IOD refers to something of value, there's something valuable to be gained from our focus on not just usage, but also his brother. And so these these few comments are worthy of note. Now let's dig into why his brother I mean, learning from Yusuf Ali Salaam is all too obvious. And everybody here can understand that all of you watching can understand that. But the first thing to note about his brothers is, I mean, put it simply, anybody can get messed up. It doesn't matter what family you come from, it

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doesn't matter what environment you're in, he's they couldn't possibly be in a more positive environment. They're surrounded, they're in the family of a prophet. And they're also siblings of one actually, you know. So the just just because you're surrounded by a positive environment, doesn't ensure that you're immune from messing up. A lot of times, we think that if we provide our children a positive environment that is going to make sure that they are not going to follow down the devil's path. You know, the doors of a machine, don't keep the shaitan out.

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Right shutdown is, you know, chatons not like, there's an electric fence you can create, and you know, you have put on being heard, and you have halaqaat going on. And everybody's dressed modestly. And we're talking about good things, and that makes sure shaitaan won't make his way. No, no, no, that's not how that works. That is not how that works. The devil actually finds his playground and houses of worship many times, some of the worst conflicts, some of the worst, egotistical battles happen inside masajid and churches and synagogues. And that's that's where they happen. You know, and you'll see manifestations of evil in places where you wouldn't expect them. So we think of evil

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places like where Haram is going on. Where things Allah doesn't approve of, you know, Zina is taking place alcohol is taking place, you know, shamelessness, lewdness, evil, stealing, etc, etc, foul language, those places are evil, those are devil devilish places, the devil does not have certain places that are reserved for him and other places is off limits for him. That's not how that works. And it's not like certain people are more prone towards the devil and other people are less prone. So if some people have a beard, they're less prone to the wasp associaton or if a woman has a hijab on then shut down doesn't leave bothers her less actually bothers them more. He comes after them

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more because they can actually look in the mirror and think everything's okay, I still have this thing on.

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I'm so good. You know, I have one of these I'm alright, this is I'm pretty religious. And that's when the shutdown gets you because now you don't even you have a virus and you don't even know you have it. Pun intended. Right?

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So, the point here being use of and his brothers, there's a lot to learn. And the first of them is being from a certain family and being in a certain environment is not an immunity from evil. And evil takes different forms. On that point, you know, many Muslims live in the West, and many Muslims live in, you know, Muslim, Muslim majority countries. And sometimes people say I don't want to live in America, I don't want to live in Canada, I don't want to live in Western Australia, the you know, the, the values here are all messed up. The kofod are everywhere. And there's coffee burgers being sold, and there's coffee drinks being sold. And there's, you know, coffee roads in coffeyville, you

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know, billboards and I just want to take my children to an Islamic environment, I want to take them where they can hear the oven, and they can eat halal chicken and all of that whenever they feel like, etc, etc. I know I'm being a little sarcastic. Okay, I was fasting. So the thing is, I want to take them away to a different environment where they won't see filthy billboards. So they're not going to hear that kind of foul language or they're not going to. But the problem is when you take them to what you think is a more Islamic environment, because you can hear the event. Now there's bribery, racism, classism, there's social social corruption, there's political corruption, there's

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other kinds of evil. Okay, so you don't like this label of evil because it's more obvious to you and this other these other sets of evils you you're totally okay with those, and people aren't giving inheritance and usurping the wealth of the orphan, all of that happening in Muslim majority places too, but that's okay. Because at least you know, they're going to learn to read what this is, this is your idea of more Islamic, right just have the, the the facade of religion, it looks like the costume is religious, but the values are no longer there. So we know no one environment is safe from the way shaitan plays, he plays different games in different places. He plays different games in

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different places. And that's the first thing to learn about Youssef and his brothers, his brothers are being played with by the devil. That's clear, because even jacobellis Alam, he mentioned them and then you mentioned who initiate honor Lillian, Sania the woman, that's what he said in the fifth Ayah don't tell your brothers, otherwise, they're going to make a scheme against you, it's gonna be terrible. The devil is an enemy to every human being. That's what he said. Because he saw that they are they are prone or they are vulnerable to the whispers of a shape and so now that's

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one thing. The other thing is, as a principle in the study of the Quran, there's a there's a specific sort of lesson here for the SOTA. But I think a larger principle is also being given to us by Allah. And that is that when we when we study the stories, especially the stories in the Quran,

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then we have to go out of our way to ask ourselves the right questions with every detail Allah tells us like you have to get get into the mindset of not I already know this. I already heard this story. I've already been hearing it since I was in Sunday school or since I was a kid or ever called buzz about it or I heard a lecture about it etc. When you come to a story every time you have to be someone who asks the question What can I gain from this now? What more is there here? Why did I say this? Like you and the kind of answer you're looking for is one that brings you closer to him. What can I learn from this? What wisdom can I apply in my relationships from this etc? Where can I see

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this playing out in my life? That's actually the mindset inside ion Lisa ileen This is why less is elsewhere in the Quran fi crew come in it is your mention Allah is actually not talking about others at the end of it all it's talking about who you You didn't just benefit from knowing some people that lived a long time ago and this this happened to them the only way that benefits you is in somehow in some way what you learned about them shed light on what you're up to it helps you see your life in a different light. It exposes some things that you didn't realize about yourself before or about the people around you before that's actually the point solar chord kind of use of our

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equity IR to Lisa Elena is and so they have many things to teach you how to use offenders brothers, especially when so the if the next hour begins with a win and it's almost as if it's tied to the previous ayah and of the many lessons you will learn you will learn them from what is about to be said about the brothers of use of so now we so far two characters were introduced directly use of holism spoke Yaqoob spoke and the brothers were spoken of but they haven't spoken yet. Right But now the brothers are going to speak now we're in a room. Now the camera is taking us to a room where they're by themselves. And they're having a conversation with each other. And this is what they're

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going to say to each other is called Lula Yousuf Whoo hoo hoo ha boo illa abena Amina wanna know spa when they said you so for sure, and his brother are now the English translation would be more Beloved, or loved more to us by our dad than we are. Yusuf and his brothers are more lovable, more beloved

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You are farther than we are, when I notice but while we are a tight band of, you know, men, we are a strong group

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in the abundance field but Allah moonbeam, certainly our father is truly lost in obvious is completely lost in obvious confusion misguidance our dad is a lost cause he's so lost. That's what they're saying about their dad. Now, there's a lot to unpack here. So let's get started. First of all,

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they are speaking with absolute certainty. No use of alarm is used for when somebody's swearing by something, or somebody declaring an absolute statement of fact, as a fact. So they're saying, you know what, what the truth is, I swear by it, Yusuf and his brother, his brother being the baby brother. Binyamin. Yeah, and they don't even mention him by name, because he's not that significant. The point is, you know, I will show you the genealogy when we do the Bible overview, because we're gonna do that inshallah, when this scene is over, before we get to when they go talk to the dead, I'm going to get to maybe I am number 10. And then I'm going to read this exact part of the story

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from the Bible and compare it bit by bit. For you guys, before going on that we're gonna do, we're gonna reach a certain milestone, and then compared with the Bible, and then reach a certain milestone, and then compare it with the Bible again, and see how Quran is different from the Bible in telling the telling of the story. But before we get there, just so for now, you know, Yahoo, Bala Salaam had more than one wife, and he had these 12 kids from different wives. Okay, so they're not all it's not like, you know, all 12 are from one wife. In fact, they're not even from two wives, they're three or four wives. And Yusuf Ali Salaam and his brother Binyamin for from the youngest

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kids are from a different wife and the other siblings, even though they're not all from the same mother, they all are older, and they're from different wives. And they don't like that he had this kid later on in life. And he had these two kids that are much younger, because it's, it's bothering them. So in it already, we've got a psychological dimension, they don't see use of and his brother as their brother.

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Right, so they say use of and his brother are loved by dad, not our younger brothers are loved by dad, right. So the language is important here, because they're not calling use of their brother, they're just calling him use of and use his younger brother, even though technically, he's also who's their own younger brother, they don't see him as part of the family. So this is what can happen in family dynamics, when, for example, you have complex families you can have nowadays, okay, you don't have one man with multiple wives, unless in some societies, but you could have people that were married before and they had children, then they got remarried, and they have other children in

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the new marriage. And the kids from the old marriage are like, Dad has betrayed us by having other kids. And they see those kids as an enemy. Or they see those kids as you know, they're the ones who took that away from us, that used to love us. Now, he loves them, this kind of thought can can develop, our mom used to love us now she loves them, etc, etc, they can have these kinds of mentalities can grow inside children, because there are different mothers involved in the birth of the kids. So that's one subtle dynamic on the side, that's already taking place, right. And that's something that has a role in virtually any generation in any society, that can happen, okay?

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Because, you know, vying for the attention of our parents at an early age, or feeling like our parents value us is a very critical, pivotal part of our upbringing. Because if you've grown up feeling like your parents think you're worthless, or that part of your life wasn't there, there's something very significant that we that you were robbed of, right. And there can be people that are very well accomplished, they can get a master's degree, a PhD, they can be very high accomplished in their careers, etc. But their dad always calls them worthless. And it doesn't matter what awards they get, or what promotions, they get out. Everybody thinks they're a rockstar, they're gonna feel

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like they're worthless, because their dad calls them worthless. Right? jokingly, in contemporary society, we call a daddy issues. But it's actually so much deeper than that. A father is supposed to be a state, a staple of validation of values of worth, you know, what use of Halle Sam's father did for him in the previous IRA, right. And for a lot of people that's missing, that father figure is missing, that's going to give you that's going to anchor you that's going to warn you from dangers that's going to be there as your as your source of strength. That's what a father is supposed to be when the father doesn't play that role. Or when a child is made to feel that dad is going to play

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that role for someone else, but not for you. He's not as accessible to us yes to those other kids. Because there is real kids now you're not as real kids anymore. When they're made to feel like that or they start feeling like that, but they don't address those feelings. Those feelings can grow and grow and grow and fester. And that's what's happening from the very beginning. We're seeing there, they've got a problem. They've got an emotional problem with use of Elisa Lam being significantly younger and obviously they are older. And the way you deal with a 20 year old, the way you deal with a 19 year old is

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Do you deal with an eight year old is not the way you deal with a three year old is not the way we deal with a 12 year old. You're not going to like if you have an eight year old kid, a 10 year old kid, 11 year old kid, you're gonna give them a hug, you know, play with their hair, etc. If you have a 20 year old, you're not going to do that Dad, what are you doing? Like there's more handshake than hug, right? There's more formality, there's a, you know, as men grow up, the they also want to be, you know, entitled to some personal space. Right? That happens. That's a reality. So the the dynamic of a relationship changes, but the way that dad is expressing love for these younger kids is

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obviously is holding them is closer to them, he's holding them, he's calling them My child, or there's this Terms of Endearment that are not there the same way for the older kids. That doesn't mean they're not loved as much. That's it just means that they're younger. And in fact, you don't even have to be from different parents. Sometimes, you know, some of you parents that are watching this, you have older kids, and then later on, you know, even if you have a five year old or a six year old, and then you say, Hey, we're gonna have another baby brother or sister, you give the news that you're expecting, right? So there's a happiness? Yeah.

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Like, there's a little bit of a, oh, wait, I'm not the baby of the family anymore. And then you find when the baby is born, and then maybe there's a little bit of excitement with it. But the older child is also crying sometimes. Sometimes they're trying to scratch their cheek. No, no, I'm just seeing what happens. Because they like, they can't stand it, the baby looks so cute, or they're always getting attention, or they're trying to, there's a little bit of passive aggressiveness is building up in a sibling, some siblings are like they did turn into almost another parent, other siblings develop this kind of insecurity, that now they're taking all the attention. They're the new

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baby, they're the new star, everybody wants to come see them. Everybody wants to say, Mashallah for them. What about me, I feel invisible, right? So and that's it, it's okay for a child to feel those things. And parents should be sensitive to those feelings. But on the flip side, when you have older kids, when you have older kids, then they should have the sense to know that our dad has always been the same towards us. And we can talk to him about anything. If we feel like we're not being we're feeling like we're invisible, then we can go talk to him. And the other remarkable thing here about this comment that they made the use of his brother are more lovable, or more beloved to our father

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than we are, is they made a statement of fact about what their father feels. Love is a feeling right. And I can't tell you, Hey, you know what you love this one more than you love that one. I can't tell you what you feel in your heart. Because I have no access to that. You can only observe from the outside and say, I think you give this one much better treatment than that one, or you're nicer to this one or that one, or you're harsh to this one, you're kind to that you can make those kinds of observations of someone's behavior. But you certainly cannot make assertive like absolute comments about what someone feels. Because you don't have access to that only they do. You can speak

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on behalf of anybody's feelings. I can't speak on behalf of anybody's feelings. I can only speak on behalf of my own feelings. If I'm going to comment on somebody else. The only thing I can comment on in my family is on someone else's behavior. What they're saying and what they're doing. Now what they're feeling, they can speak for their own feelings. And if so the the problem here is they're speaking on behalf of their father's feelings. God loves them more than he loves us. That loves them more than he loves us. Now, before I go any further, I remind you of something because there's what's called the it's a big English word, but I'll explain it. It's okay. Some of you high school

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kids hear this word now because you're taking English literature, juxtaposition. juxtaposition means means when two things are put on top of one another.

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You know, back in the day, I don't know if school teachers use this anymore. Back in the day, they used to have the slide projectors with the with the clear slide, and IT projects and then they put another clear side on top, it juxtaposes on top of it so they can show how they diverge. So the bottom one's blue, the bottom chart is blue, the top top chart is red like that. Well, what what uses father did when he talked about the brothers, he said they're going to scheme against you. And then he said the devil is an enemy. Right. So what did he juxtapose? He juxtapose the brothers and their scheming. On top of that, what did he juxtapose the devil, the scheming of the devil. Now this

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is important, because we have to go back to the story of the devil for a moment, at least when Allah had given him honor. Allah has given him honor and he announced that he's creating Adam. And he's going to create someone made of clay, and eventually put a soul in him put a roof on him. And when he's done with all of that, all of you will be bowing, you all of you will be you know, bowing your heads, you're going to be doing such that of the remarkable over the remarkable creation that I've made. This was the announcement made to all of the angels and at least was included because of his promise.

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mode status. The angels had an issue with that announcement. The angels had an issue with that announcement, they didn't understand how a human being could be worth so much. So they asked a question they asked, Are you really going to put on the earth, someone who you know is going to cause corruption is going to spill blood, we see that human beings are going to be, from what we can tell they're going to be violent, they're going to be corrupt. So we don't understand why there's such a remarkable creation, we don't disobey you at all, we always declare your perfection. So why the need for a creature that is going to have the choice to do the wrong thing. And our projections

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are, they're probably going to do the wrong thing. So they didn't say that human beings aren't all that, basically, that's what the angel said. But my point is not to take you back to that entire story. But to tell you one thing, the devil felt that he's a better choice. He did. But did he say anything? No, he stayed quiet. The angels are asking your question. They don't get it. So they're asking, and at least is just they're not saying anything. He's observing. And he's building a narrative in his mind about why he's better. But he's not saying it. The one he should be saying it to, like the angel said what their concern was say to a lot, it's a loss decision. Right? You have

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an issue with what Elijah said, or you don't understand what Elijah said. So ask Allah, you have access. He's not gonna ask. And then Allah demonstrates that there's a rule inside, Adam. But when the devil made his complaint, finally, when he did open his mouth, that he's not going to do such stuff. What did he say? He said, You made it from dirt. But wait, he already knew Allah didn't just make him from dirt. He made it from dirt. And then he poured through inside him. And that's what makes Adam alayhis salam, the superior creature, but even though at least knew that he said, No, all he is, is what? dirt I don't want to hear about this little business, that if I accept that, then it

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undermines my claim that I'm better. My claim that I'm better holds a stronger weight, if I say that he's nothing more than what dirt is nothing more than dirt. In other words, there's a reality in front of you that Adam is not just dirt, and you know this reality. But accepting that reality will actually make you not just your anger, and your jealousy, and your entitlement will no longer be justifiable. So you need to not accept certain parts of reality. You have to have selective dissonance. You have to cut off certain parts of reality, and only hold on to other parts of reality that fit the story you want to tell yourself. That's what the devil did. Now, because he did that,

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and he created this alternative view in his mind. It got so far that He even told a lot of EMA away, Tony, it's because you misled me. See, the one who misleads of all is the devil himself, isn't it? And the devil is accusing a lot of misleading him.

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As he's accusing a lot of misleading him. What does that tell you? He's, first of all, he's misleading himself. That's clear. That's clear. But the devil's trick or the devil's own flaw is he misled himself, and then he blamed Allah.

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And he wants human beings, among other things, he wants human beings to relive his mistake. Please listen to this carefully. He wants human beings to want to relive his own mistake, that he is misleading himself. But when it comes to questioning that he will say no, I'm not misleading myself, somebody else is doing this to me.

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These young men are misleading themselves, yes or no? Just like the devil did. They're creating a reality in which they can speak on behalf of their father's feelings, yes or no? And what when they've created this alternative reality in their head, they need someone to blame And who are they going to blame? You so find this father, they're the ones to blame me. They're the ones that are wrong. Dad are their dad's a prophet. And they're calling their prophet their their prophet father, who is the son and grandson of noble prophesy. They're calling him clearly lost in misguidance. Can you imagine how delusional you have to become for you to talk like that? Not just about your dad,

00:29:14--> 00:29:15

but about your dad was a prophet.

00:29:17--> 00:29:50

And clearly that you're accusing your your father of being unfair, or putting love unfairly in one place or the other? How could a prophet be like that? But this feeling has festered inside them Now this could there was an easy fix. You know, when the angels didn't understand something that they keep it to themselves or they ask Allah. Yeah, so you have a feeling inside you that I feel like you love them more. Can we talk about that they could have, and do you think jacobellis would not have explained himself would not have talked to them would not have given them a chance? Of course he would have they would have had a conversation and I've brought this up before but I'll remind you

00:29:50--> 00:30:00

because I've given up buzz about this before. There's something called tough love. When you're older, you have more responsibilities and when you're going to act recklessly, then as a

00:30:00--> 00:30:33

Father, I'm going to say you're so you're old enough to know better, you should have the sense that you shouldn't have done this, I don't want to see this behavior again, there's a certain way to deal with children when they get a little older, and when they don't uphold their responsibilities, or they mess up. And when a young child is doing well, and you're going to encourage them, right, then you're not gonna say, well, dad just gave me a good verbal thrashing. And then look, he's giving him a hug. It's not fair. No, you're not even looking at what you did and what this child did. You're looking at how the treatment happened, the treatment was based on your behavior, use of is being

00:30:33--> 00:31:13

treated a certain way, because of how you serve is carrying himself, his brothers being treated a certain way, because he's a baby, you're being treated a certain way because of what you're doing. Not because of yaku being unfair. You're You're what's what's wrong in what you're doing. But they're, they're so focused on the ill placed feelings of their father. And then that comes the next kind of remarkable thing inside all of this. A terrible evil is about to happen. We all know that. We all know that. But the heart of that terrible evil is they want to feel like dad loves them. That sounds like such an innocent emotion, right? Like, I just want to feel like you love me. That's why

00:31:13--> 00:31:13

I tried to kill us.

00:31:15--> 00:31:42

You're gonna go that you guys are gonna go that far. And at the end of it all, in your mind, all of that has nothing to do with anything except you feel like you're not loved. But actually, it's it. This is also a mask. This is not the reality. Their dad is a loving father. The Love is there already. That's not the point. The point is, they want love on their terms. This is the key.

00:31:43--> 00:31:48

They don't want love. They want love on their own terms. Now, let me explain what that means. Let me take you back to the devil story.

00:31:50--> 00:32:10

The devil wants human beings to believe that the he believes about human beings were nothing more than what clay dirt, which makes us nothing better than animals. The cow is made of dirt. The bird is made of dirt. The camel is made of dirt. And these these Homo sapiens are made of dirt. What's the difference? Right. And so he wants to reduce us to our physical bodies. Like we have no soul.

00:32:12--> 00:32:35

Yusuf Ali Salam is being appreciated by his father, because of what he has inside of the heart. He has the manners he has, the respect he has the humility he has the intelligence he has. He's being appreciated for the spiritual goodness inside him right. Now listen to carefully what the brother said. They said Yousuf and his brother are more lovable to dad than we are, well, we're a strong band.

00:32:36--> 00:33:12

We're physically strong. We're the ones that carry the word. We're the ones that graze the animals were the ones that fix the house, when it breaks up. We're the ones that shoo away wolves when there's an attack, we're the ones that keep the house safe. We're the ones that carry all the luggage and all the all the groceries, we're the ones that draw the water from the well. We're the ones that do everything. And he gets all the attention. In other words, they're saying we are able bodied, we should be appreciated for the physical contribution. Why is he appreciating his spiritual goodness? Exactly what the devil wanted, right? You want He wants you to see to you that you should

00:33:12--> 00:33:14

value yourself based on your physical,

00:33:15--> 00:33:42

not your moral, not your spiritual, which are physical, they value themselves, their assessment of themselves, what is my contribution to this family, our strength, our strength is our contribution, we pay the bills, we take care of the house, that's our strength, this is what we bring to the table. And they can see how a small kid and a baby are going to do what we do. You think they're gonna carry the logs of wood, they're strong enough to draw the water, they can't do any of that. And yet he loves them like that.

00:33:43--> 00:34:20

This is actually the devil winning a game. Because you hope we will have in families around the world. People thinking that they can act however they want, they can act however immorally they want, they can use whatever foul language they want. They can mistreat and disrespect however they want. But since they're paying the rent, because they're doing the physical, because they're the ones fixing the car. Because they're the ones running the business. Because they're the ones doing you know, doing whatever physical thing. That's why they have the license to act that way. And this is not a disease limited limited to men. I do all the cooking therefore I get to talk to you however

00:34:20--> 00:34:21

I want.

00:34:22--> 00:34:53

I do I pay the bills, therefore I get to talk to you however I want when someone is contributing in some physical way. They they want to act like I should be appreciated for that and have free license to behave however I want in every other sphere. But yeah, who is not letting them get away with it? Yes, you help around the house. But you can't be disrespectful. Yes, you help around the house, but you can't be missing prayers. Your Muslim boys. How are you missing prayers? Yes, you help around the house. But you can't be backbiting you can't treat your little brother like that. You can't raise your voice that your mother that way. You can't do that. Yes, you you are contributing, but

00:34:53--> 00:34:58

that's not a license to mess up in these things. And they don't want to be called out for that.

00:34:59--> 00:35:00

They don't want to

00:35:00--> 00:35:21

be told, No, we're not. They just want to be told. Listen, you boys, I'm so proud you do so much. Therefore, I should never be criticized for anything I do. And if I get criticized, then he doesn't love us. Because that's always picking on us. Oh, yeah, you only see the wrong in me, right? You can't see anything good that I do. All you see is that I messed up. Mm hmm. That's all you ever see.

00:35:22--> 00:35:32

And that's their way of deflecting from what the bad they actually do the bad that they actually do. And this would be bad enough, it was one trouble kid. But now they get together.

00:35:33--> 00:36:09

And they get to get if they talk to dad about this dad could have put their arm his arm around them, given them wisdom, calm them down. Let them see the error in their ways. Appreciate the good that they do. Yes, I know you do a lot of good. And I'll reward you for it. But you know this one thing you did it really hurt me? This one thing you said it wasn't you you think that was okay. And this one boy would have said, when you remember that you're right, that that wasn't okay. I'm sorry. You're right. If there was a level headed conversation, things could have de escalated. But no, you want to go talk to your own people that think like you. And instead of talking to the person that

00:36:09--> 00:36:50

you have a problem with, or you have a confusion with, or miscommunication with which is your dad in this case, you want to talk among each other and make the problem worse. This is called groupthink. in psychology, yeah. This eventually turned into something more popularly known as mob mentality. Right? You, you, you develop a thought process. That's not just you. Other people are saying things that reinforce what you already feel. And from feeling, it grows into a fact, feelings turned into what fact? Because people are reinforcing it little by little by little. And you first it goes like this. I'll give you a classroom example. One time.

00:36:51--> 00:37:20

When I used to teach Arabic A long time ago, one of my students felt like I was going too fast. One student, I sort of I did an investigation on this, one student felt I was going too fast. And I say in my class in Arabic class all the time. If you think I'm going too fast, ask me a question. I'll answer your question. If you need review, I'll give you a review. If you need me to stay after school, I'll stay after school, and he will take you to lunch, and then explain it to you again, I'll take you to lunch, if you need me to, like move into your garage so I can explain, keep explaining to you, I'll keep explaining to you, I need to make sure you get it. But I cannot. I'm

00:37:20--> 00:37:54

not telepathic. I can't tell that you don't get it. If you don't tell me. You need to tell me you don't get it, you need to tell me to repeat. And I'll do it. That's my job. I, I will feel like I do my job if I was able to address your concern, but you need to be able to tell me that if you're feeling lost in class, and you're like, I better not ask a question because people will think I'm slow. Whose fault is that? You didn't come to a classroom to save your dignity, you came to class to learn, you didn't come to to look better in the eyes of others, you came to learn and learning means you gotta get embarrassed and say, I don't know. Because if you already knew why are you in the

00:37:54--> 00:37:55

class?

00:37:56--> 00:37:57

That's the point.

00:37:58--> 00:38:31

You know, if you are afraid of embarrassment, then you will not be able to learn. You won't be able to learn. But anyway, there was a student falling behind. not asking questions in class, but developing the feeling that he was going too fast. I am you know what, maybe I am going too fast. But how will I know unless somebody tell me there are other shootings? Could you repeat that? Please? Could you go over that again? But this one student would that thought I was going too fast in the break went to another student? Don't you feel like he goes too fast? And this other student goes? I don't know. Sometimes I guess.

00:38:32--> 00:38:38

Overall, it's okay. Okay. Then he goes to another Hey, I was talking to Kareem. And Kareem thinks he's going too fast, or do you think he's going too fast?

00:38:40--> 00:38:49

I guess, I mean, maybe yesterday was a little bit fast. Okay. Hey, I was talking to Kareem and Abdullah, and we feel like he's going really fast.

00:38:51--> 00:38:58

Yeah, you guys feel like that? I think you're right. I think he's going a little fast. And then he comes to me after like this, you know,

00:38:59--> 00:39:00

he comes to me so sad.

00:39:01--> 00:39:05

We have a concern. I believe the entire class sees that you're going too fast.

00:39:08--> 00:39:19

As the entire class that was in smiles 30 minutes ago, and everybody's on top. Now everybody feels that I know what happened here. Who did you talk to? Because you said everybody feels so you clearly spoke to everybody?

00:39:20--> 00:39:36

Well, no, not everybody. But you just said everybody feels. Who are these? Everybody's No, they don't want to say they don't want to say they want to say to you they don't want to say to me, but I thought I'm the teacher. So they elected you ambassador to speak on their behalf? Is that is that what just happened?

00:39:37--> 00:39:59

What happens in these cases is you create you have one concern, but when you don't take it to the person you would you need to take it to you take it to others below, then it festers and becomes a much bigger problem. And then it becomes a fact in their minds, and it creates a negative thought process. It's we're not even talking about evil yet. We're not even dealing with evil.

00:40:00--> 00:40:02

We're dealing with unhealthy communication.

00:40:03--> 00:40:28

That's what we're dealing with right now. That's what the devil is going to use unhealthy communication. So they're just going to talk to each other and say dad loves us have more. And even though in an individual conversation, one brother may have said, No, I don't think he loves him more, I just feel like, you know, they're little they need more attention, or I don't think he loves him more. But I mean, come on, he never misses fudger Have you seen us? How many times does that tell us to get up?

00:40:29--> 00:41:00

One on One, they could have had that conversation. But when there's 10 of them together, and dad loves more, though, even the one that would have said well actually is gonna be like, I don't think I'm gonna say well, actually right now, because everybody's gonna eat me alive. So I'm gonna go with Yeah, yeah, I guess he does love him more. You see how groupthink works, your own thoughts that don't agree with what's being said, gets suppressed. And you go with the group, you get, you basically get brainwashed by a group, and you suppress your own opinion and your own thought, because you don't want to go against the anger that's being said. And the person who's speaking

00:41:00--> 00:41:06

obviously is not saying, you know, we will recite this so gently, is cannula usofa, who I have

00:41:07--> 00:41:15

been, I mean, wanna know, spa, user, and his brothers are loved more know.

00:41:17--> 00:41:20

Brother, dad loves them more than he loves us.

00:41:22--> 00:41:23

And we're the ones doing all the work.

00:41:25--> 00:41:45

The guy who's saying this is not saying this, like, Dad loves them, or like, he's not saying that. So he's all up in arms. And you want to be the voice of reason in that group. Good luck. Cuz if he's not angry when he's raising his voice, if you share your opinion that goes against him, he's gonna eat you alive next, isn't he? Excuse me? What do you say? Oh, you don't think so?

00:41:46--> 00:41:59

Who wants to hear that. So you're just going to suppress what you want to say. And by the way, this is teaching you something. Sometimes in a relationship, sometimes in a family dynamic. When someone's raising their voice, they're also telling you don't tell me your opinion.

00:42:00--> 00:42:27

Don't Don't do that, because I'm going to eat you alive. So you need to surrender your position, and you need to accept mine. That's the purpose of raising voice. It can have that effect. And so when they speak in this way to each other, and then they're riled up, they're all just fired up. Everyone's like, yeah, God use Have you guys realized something in all of this. Okay? I'm telling you how they feel and all of that. But nobody asked the question. So why does dad love him so much?

00:42:28--> 00:42:30

What is it about him that dad loves?

00:42:31--> 00:42:38

And you could ask that in a negative it What's so good about use of and his brother anyway? Or you could actually genuinely ask, Hey, is

00:42:39--> 00:42:41

what his use of do that we should be doing?

00:42:42--> 00:42:46

I mean, Dad always been the same way. He was our dad, when we were little.

00:42:47--> 00:43:03

He is not acting any different. So what is use of doing that? Maybe we used to do and we don't do anymore? Or that maybe we could be doing better? What is that not communicating? Tell us what he expects? Because I'm pretty sure he is. That seems like a pretty pretty open communicator? Can't you tell?

00:43:04--> 00:43:06

But they're not going to ask that question.

00:43:07--> 00:43:14

They instead. And if that is the one who's confused, then clearly who hasn't done anything wrong? Use of hasn't

00:43:16--> 00:43:18

even in their mind, the one who's done wrong as

00:43:19--> 00:43:22

dad, but later on, what are they gonna suggest kill Who?

00:43:24--> 00:43:40

Kill yourself? Why? He's so good, right? He just doesn't make any mistakes. Right? Yeah, even when we get mad at him, he's still kind to us. He's too perfect, isn't perfect, can stand up perfect is like he walks in and you just go.

00:43:42--> 00:43:51

There's an anger brewing, and we can't find something to pin on him. We can't make him look bad. This makes us even angrier.

00:43:53--> 00:44:24

And if you could find something to make him look bad, and you'd say it, but you can't. So the only way you can solve that problem is get rid of him. And nowadays, Alhamdulillah we have police, you know, we have authorities. So even if somebody has these kinds of feelings towards a family member or a sibling sometimes, you know, sometimes a spouse, sometimes an uncle, cousin, whoever, if they have these kinds of feelings, maybe they can't kill them, but they're dreaming about it. Man, if only this today, they got in a car accident.

00:44:25--> 00:44:29

Or they didn't. They didn't call back in rush hour. They're like, I hope today's the day.

00:44:31--> 00:44:40

You know, they can develop that. That's the same satanic feeling. It's not this call. It's just a conversation right now, isn't it? And people can have that conversation just inside their head.

00:44:41--> 00:44:43

You know, life would be so much better with them not around.

00:44:45--> 00:44:53

And then I don't I wouldn't have any problems, then they'd see what I really unlike. I am invisible because of him. And if he wasn't there that I'd be visible again,

00:44:54--> 00:44:59

is exactly what the devil said. If other isn't there, then I'll be visible. Unless he's all or no

00:45:00--> 00:45:34

Unless he's what the devil is worth what he believes was good he did before Allah sees it. And the doors of risk opening, somebody receiving love doesn't mean you're being deprived of it. You have your own value, you have your own self esteem. But this is what the devil wants comparison, you can't see your value unless you compare yourself to someone else. They can't help but compare themselves even to a kid. Even to a child, they're comparing themselves. They feel the need to validate themselves by calling themselves neck, neuro spa. We're a band, we're so strong, we do all this stuff.

00:45:35--> 00:45:43

And then, when this gets when he when he gets so far beyond reason, they've passed, this is the problem. they've passed a judgment on their father.

00:45:44--> 00:46:25

The voice of reason in that household is their father. I need you to remember that the voice of reason is who the father is the source of wisdom. But when they say in Adana, Allah fie abahlali movie, no doubt, our Father is truly lost in obvious misguidance he's so lost, he's so confused. He's so off the deep end, you know, deep end, he's a lost cause. You know what they've done. They've basically invalidated anything their father has to say before he even says it. So even if the father tries to reason with them, tries to calm them down, tries to talk to them in their head. He's already Laffy lalala mubin he's already a lost cause. Of course, you would say that dad? Mm hmm.

00:46:25--> 00:47:02

Yeah. Yeah, sure, sure. Like, they hear but they don't hear. They're deflecting it already, because they've already plugged their ears when it comes to dad, because they've passed a judgment on him. And this is one of the things he believes wants, he wants, if there's a source of reason, you want to demonize that source of reason, you want to invalidate that source of reason. So even when reasonable things are coming from that way, you can dismiss them before they're even said because we cannot, I can't accept it because it's coming from you. You can't be you can't be saying something right. In a binary if Ebola Libyan and even if he'd be a prophet like this is how far delusional a

00:47:02--> 00:47:24

person can get that they can't listen to reason. What happens in many families is a you're pitted against another family member sibling is pitted against sibling, child against father or mother, you know, spouse against spouse, and they've developed an opinion about that family member. And because they've developed that opinion, anything that comes out of their mouth is wrong before it's even come out of their mouth.

00:47:26--> 00:47:54

And he attempted reconciliation will be questioned because no, no, no, of course, you'd say that because you love yourself more. I know your intentions already. So not only do you think that they're confused, you also think that they're never unbiased, they always speak with a bias. Right? And you've already got that judgment of them. That door that closes any doors of reconciliation. Now you can fix a family problem, because you're already the judge. Now, now that you're a judge, and you've got your own jury, the only thing left now is executioner,

00:47:55--> 00:48:27

which is coming. That's what's going to come and we discuss tomorrow, how you go from here. The next thing that's going to happen is some very evil acts. And so what I want to leave you guys with today is this thought when you have unaddressed negative emotions, and you're only talking to people that help make them worse, excite those emotions more, they only validate what you're feeling. They don't question what you're feeling like sometimes you have friends, you want to talk to you about how you feel. And when your friend says, Well, I know you're angry. But I think that anger might be a little bit misplaced. Or like, what did you say about my anger?

00:48:28--> 00:48:33

You said my anger is misplaced? I think my friendship is misplaced. Click.

00:48:34--> 00:48:47

Because you don't want to hear that what you feel is wrong. You want to if you're my real friend, you would appreciate how I feel. And you would agree with how I feel. And you'd help me feel what I feel even more.

00:48:49--> 00:49:16

That's a real friend. No, we're real friends. So do come and soccer club and soccer. The real friend is someone who's going to be true to you, not just someone who's gonna get take your side no matter what. That's not what your friend is. And sometimes friends will say offensive things. Or maybe they'll say things you didn't want to hear from them. You wanted to rent to them, and they might find out. Well, maybe have you thought about this? That's not what I hear when I hear from you when I wanted to vent to you so you can make me feel better about how angry I am.

00:49:17--> 00:49:22

But no, maybe you should give a little benefit of the doubt. Maybe you should look at it from this angle or that angle.

00:49:23--> 00:49:59

We don't want to hear that. But Oh, you know what? Yeah, I understand your Yeah, I thought you understood me but you don't really understand me. So I don't think this friendship is working out. So you just pull because you're a feeble alum, we'll be right the voice of reason is lost. And once you can do that, and you can you can only be around people that can reinforce your spite. They can reinforce your maybe sometimes arrogance. Maybe they can reinforce your jealousy. Maybe they can reinforce your false sense of justice, which is actually injustice. If the only you want to only surround yourself with people like that.

00:50:00--> 00:50:18

Then what's gonna come next is some very evil acts directed towards somebody else because in your mind, what you're doing will be entirely justified a just cause you're doing something good. You're doing something, you're actually you're going to do the worst evil things and in your head, you're going to see I'm doing this for you.

00:50:19--> 00:50:21

I'm doing this for the family.

00:50:22--> 00:50:34

And so crazy, it's gonna be, and I'm not making this up, it's in the Quran. In the next day, we're gonna see at the end what the guru mean, Ronnie Coleman said, you'll be good after that, goodness, in their mind, this is also we can be good.

00:50:35--> 00:51:12

That's how crazy this is. This is how evil, unhealthy communication can become. And it's such a profound thing that's being taught to us about, about jealousy, about developing judgments about feelings. someone loves me or doesn't love me, whether their advice is valid or not, you know, all of that is encapsulated inside these words of theirs that they've shared. And what did their father say? They might scheme against you right? Now, you know why this why he said that, because they only talk to each other, they don't talk to him. And when you only talk to each other, then talk will eventually turn into some kind of evil plan of action, because that's what the devil wants. He wants

00:51:12--> 00:51:49

to first whisper and corrupt your thinking, your feelings. When your thoughts and your feelings are corrupted enough, what will come out of that will be corrupted actions. The devil doesn't just call you to corrupted actions. He wants you to twist and mutilate your feelings and thoughts first. And when they get twisted enough, then the actions will be easy. Right? So he's not just calling you to actions that nobody would hit the devil can come to you and say, Hey, do Hara like I will Double Diamond Shakeology, he won't come back straight he'll come to you. The lahoma be hooroo he drew them in deceptively little by little by little by little by little. That's how he does it. And look at

00:51:49--> 00:52:21

what he did. He took this emotion of wanting to be loved a healthy emotion and look at how you poisoned it. Look it turned it into something else completely. He turned it into hate judgment. disregard that and this is what we have to be afraid of in our families. And sometimes what this means if we don't want this to happen, the tragedy of use have to happen in our families, then we have to sometimes have uncomfortable and open conversations. That's really what this is. The angels were terrified to question the last decision about the creation of Adam but they did it

00:52:22--> 00:52:53

and even then that they ended will not going to be happy Hump Day. Kanaka sulak. I want to answer this of Hanukkah, Allah Allah, you're too perfect. Sorry, we didn't we don't have any knowledge except what You told us. They're humble. They're scared to ask but they still asked. Sometimes you have to have uncomfortable conversations for things to get better. And if you don't have those uncomfortable conversations with the right parties that need to be addressed, then maybe you'll you're going to make things way worse. Your silence may make things way worse than you having those kinds of transparent conversation allows which will protect our families from the kind of tragedy

00:52:53--> 00:53:07

that we're reading about in the story of our remarkable prophet Yusuf Ali Salaam and not let us fall into the kind of mistakes that his brothers fell into barakallahu li walakum glucuronic Hakeem when I finally went to complete it with him salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:53:10--> 00:53:11

Are you still here?

00:53:13--> 00:53:15

karate karate.