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Hitting Women – A look at 434 and Beyond

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Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Latina, Amina Mohammed also it hurt what also be happy what Allah saw me, but I mean, in today's clip I'm going to continue our conversation about the 34th ayat of surah nisab. And I like I mentioned before is previously is often quoted and discussed as a real problem is actually very widely misinterpreted and misused. And a lot of times ends up a reason for which Muslims are apologizing for the Quran because it mentions hitting women. And I said this in the beginning of my series, but I think this is a reminder that needs to be reinforced, especially in our climate, there is a

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movement around the world for everyone to be politically correct or to conform. So they don't fall into criticism, right? And it with the age of social media, we are constantly facing criticism, it's become a very powerful force in our lives. So we're constantly looking for a way to say something or do something that's safe, that doesn't Garner other people's criticism, and that can actually have real consequences now, but you know, professors of universities, people in the medical profession other professions, if they say something about what they believe, and then by their employer or by a larger society or enough of a group, that is considered unacceptable, politically correct or

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incorrect, whatever else they can lose their job, right. So this now has very real consequences in the real world. People may not be given a professorship or people may be you know, removed from their positions of responsibility simply because they hold a certain kind of view. And the one of the premises of our deen Allah tells us Filatov showhome, mock shoni don't be afraid of them be afraid of me. We declare to Allah azza wa jal, we make a promise to him just like we say to him IACA Naboo we say Nana ha Fulfiller he Loma Tala Eman. We don't fear, the blame or the criticism of anybody who has any kind of criticism. In other words, what you and I believe to be true, we have to

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stand up and say it. If somebody is offended by that, then so be it. But I'm not interested in offending someone. That's the other extreme right now I'm just going to go out of my way and make sure people are offended. That's not it either. I just have to be honest with the word of Allah as sincerely as I can be. And part of my process to try to understand the word of Allah cannot be who is going to like it and who is going to dislike it, that cannot be part of the equation. If that is part of the equation, that I have placed a false god other than Allah azza wa jal above the word of Allah. And now that the word of Allah has to submit to this political pressure or this social media

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pressure or whatever else so that's just a reminder to myself and to all of you that we have to you know, this is a deen We ask Allah that He may give us shahada and his sake, right in the melotti will know Suki Jamahiriya Rama Murthy Lillahi Rabbil aalameen Right. So my prayer, my sacrifice my life and my death belongs to

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Allah. While if that's the case, then criticism shouldn't scare you. Especially when it comes to standing up for the word of Elena last bit of reminder for all of us, is that when it comes to the word of Allah, first of all, it is in the highest place. And second of all, people who deliberately don't share or don't open up about what Allah is saying. They don't say it, they don't come out and explain it. And even if they know, what does Allah say about those kinds of people, Allah says about those kinds of people because they already came, Allah accused the Israelites of this crime. He said about them that they hid the word of Allah and they knew it. Right. And he says about those kinds of

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people in there Latina actor una Angela middle Bayonetta Buddha, embody Baba Nanak Bayona hula Nassif, Nikita, hula ICA Yolanda Hula, hula, I know. But those are the people Allah curses. Like we're worried about people cursing us. If we say what Allah says. And Allah says, if you don't say what I have given you, then Allah will curse you. And and those that Allah has created angels particularly created just to curse you know whom Allah you know, Illuminati, the taboo wa sallahu wa obiano With the exception of those who repented, they corrected themselves, they reformed themselves and they made things clear, may Allah make us from those who make things clear. Now,

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because we are in this long IRA and I like to when it comes to longer ayat of the Quran, I like to try to give each phrase that Allah has revealed to us as a gift from him, give it its due. And I've talked about a couple of those phrases I've, I've given up original cover Mona Lisa, I've given her Ba ba ba ba football, Allahu, Allahu Allah, blah, blah, Bhima and Tahquamenon Wiley, and we talked about that subject in some detail. Then I talked about in last football for Sally how to call it out on half the water on the baby, we might have Allah, the role of women, and what good women are supposed to be, there are some outstanding things that I think need to be recapped about that those

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two phrases, and then we'll move on to the next part, which is going to be wealthy to have full new shoes on now we're gonna go to that part of the IRA today, as much as we can. Okay. So the first thing that I'd like to remind myself up and reinforce from the last time and add something new, is, let me start by way of an example. When the teacher walks into class and says good students, they do their homework every day. Good students do their homework every day. He's not pointing at a particular student.

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And he just makes this statement. But that statement, some, you know, our student doesn't, he doesn't even say Good. He says a student does his homework every day. A student does his homework every day. Well, that simply isn't true. Is it? Because the vast majority of those kids don't do their homework every day?

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So what is he talking? He some kid could just raise your hand say false. I'm a student. I've never done my homework. So he could he could just say that. What is the teacher actually saying? This is where the study of what else is important communication psychology. What a teacher is saying when he says a student does his homework every day, is you better be doing your homework every day. He doesn't have to put it in the form of a threat. He doesn't have to put in the form of you should be doing your homework every day. The way when he says it in this way. What he's what he's actually

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poses. Is that one of you, okay, take your time.

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Please put your phones on silent. Okay. So when a student is being told the student does his homework every day, what he's being told is, if you want to be a student and meet my expectations, this is what you better do.

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Because a student is meant to do is supposed to do their homework every day. But you don't have to work say the word supposed to. You don't have to say that. When you put it in this way the expectation has been delivered. The same way Allah says in the Quran, Al hubby thought too little hubby theme will be sooner than hubby thought. What are you about to say even more valuable knowledge about the feminine words here have two interpretations. I'll tell you the more common one that's known. The common translation of this is filthy women are filthy men, and filthy men are for filthy women and good women are for good men and good men are for good women. And then people read

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this idea and then write me an email and say I know someone who's really filthy man, but he's with a good woman and a really filthy woman but she's with a good man. Although you're not the first one to recognize that. First of all, I don't know how you come up with who's filthy and who's not but Allah describe the story of Freetown and his wife didn't need a filthy man and a good woman. Allah describe Luke I know he's Salaam and his wife dandy. Allah azza wa jal described spouses that were horrible and and husbands, the other spouse that was great. So that is this is saying, it's actually saying what I just told you, a student does his homework every day. In other words, good women are

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supposed to be with good men, good, bad people deserve each other. And so they're meant to be with each other. But that's not how it always turns out just like with the students, Allah designed, Allah designed a fitrah in it.

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way that yes, sometimes good and bad people will end up together. But that's not how it's supposed to be. That's not what he wants. But that's what he says. In other words, he's encouraging us to look for good people in life. If you're going to get married, look for a good person. That's that's the notion behind it. Now coming back to this idea, when he says, are Ricciardo Kawamata, Allah Nyssa. The first about that we talked about, man, he says men are maintainers caretakers over women. He's not saying they always are because a lot of men aren't. A lot of men are sitting home doing nothing and telling your wife to go work. They're doing that to a lot of men are lying to the

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government collecting paychecks or benefits. Right and while being abusive to the Fed, and they're not Kawan by any stretch of the imagination. This is not a this is not a an hour, a sticker or an award Allah gave to all men and said, Hey, congratulations, your column.

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No, because just like not every student does their homework every day. Not every man is Kalaam over the women. There's supposed to be the point of the IRS. They're supposed to be the same way when Allah talked about good women. He said good women are, you know, sorry, for sorry how to call it out on half. You want to claim that they are subservient. They guarded the unseen. What does that mean? Good women, if they are to live up to the standard of being good women must live up to this standard and do so they must do so they're supposed to do so. It's not an automatic statement of fact that all women do so. Just like it's not automatic that all men become Quran, it doesn't become automatic

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that all women are Salih, hard carnita.

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That this is a standard that we're supposed to work up towards. So when somebody hears this idea, and then says, Well, I know somebody who's not much of a column, so I don't know what how this idea applies to them. It doesn't because then I'll act like a column. I know a woman who's not on the tower, Sally, how whatever, uh, well, you know, that's for a lot to decide. But if that's the case, this is not this is not saying all women are this way. It's saying all women are supposed to be this way. So we have to take a step back and really contemplate what we're talking about first. Second, there's a concept in Arabic language called commoditise file. What that means is Allah describes the

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subject of the sentence is slightly had good women. Then he gave two descriptions, he said, Connie thought, then he said haffi latonia, right, two things, but he didn't put a while in between. He didn't say Colleton wa haffi lattanzio. Okay, he said Colleton half a watermelon. Like there's no hard fat in between. There's no separator in between. This concept in Bulava studies is called commoditise Hall. And what that means is these two notions are so interchangeable and so fused together, that there's no room for them to be thought of separately. It's as if they are expanding on the same concept. women that are truly humble and subservient to Allah azza wa jal are ones that

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are loyal to their husbands when their husband isn't there. That's actually the point that's being made that their loyalty to the husband and they're saying them preserving the sanctity of the marriage is actually them, humbling themselves to Allah. And in it, there's an ishara and the Shara is some you know, because I told you last time, in old times, this happened quite often, men went to war. And men went to travel and they traveled by sea, and they're gone for months and months and months, for sometimes for years, because they're doing to Java. And the woman is at home. And she's like, he's, he's not here. And back, then he's not even sending an email because they don't have

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those. Right. And he's not writing a letter because many of them didn't know how to write. So there's no communication. And it's been years and I miss my husband, I feel lonely, I have nobody to talk to. And then the shaitaan comes and says maybe why are you why are you? Why are you so lonely? You know, the guy in the market, he wants to talk to you. It's okay. You can have some conversation. So what's going to happen over time get under one that human desire for company which is natural, a human being once company in a spouse wants to be with the spouse, but if it's been months and months and months of loneliness, then she's struggling with that loneliness. And if she's struggling with

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that loneliness, and the end, the husband isn't there, he'll never find out what happened. Then the only thing that's stopping her is her subservience to Allah. So Allah tied loyalty in marriage in our religion, to actually loyalty to Allah first. So he had Connie tattoo on her forgot only live. But then he added this remarkable beautiful phrase be Mahaffey, Allah. This is very, it's almost passed over into few studies. Sometimes only few have commented on a deeply. It's such a powerful phrase. Allah didn't just say women are you know, they're guarding their husbands dignity, by protecting them in we know in their absence. By the way, there's a reciprocal relationship, right?

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The man is protecting the are protecting the women in the Quran. They're providing for them. They're protecting them, they're maintaining them. In fact, when they bring them into their family, the Quran says he they make them more sun at knocks on Earth. And what does that mean? They bring them into a fort, because Exxon is to bring somebody into a fort.

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Right, Hassan, Hassan is a fort But Assad. And so when a woman is inside the fort, the gates are closed, outsiders can't attack. So a man becomes his woman's shield. That's the idea. It becomes her forte. And so he's protecting her in the Quran. And when she's gone, when he's gone, she's protecting him. She's actually protecting him, they're actually protecting each other. And this is how you understand even the phrase, Allah gives us one of its meanings, you know, 100 Leave us on the coma and leave us alone. Now you're, you're their clothing, they are your clothing. Part of the implications are called Protect us. Clothes, cover us clothes, shield us, and that's what they

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become for you. So you and you're honoring them by providing for them and caring for them fulfilling that role and you're not doing it because you love them or because you know you You're very kind of generous. You're the first reason you're doing is Allah made you do this. Allah said, if you're going to get married, you better be calm, and you better do this. If you're not ready to do this, then that's not you shouldn't be entering into this territory. You're not ready to be calm. I'm in this ah, then you're not ready to be married. The same way if a woman isn't ready, let me be real with you. If a woman is not ready to be Connie Todd haffi lot little like what does that mean? Well,

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I have friends on Instagram, I have friends on Facebook. I have a lot of friends from college, a bunch of guys. I know that still Snapchat me and I Snapchat back to them. And the guy says we're getting married. I don't think I want you to talk to your old friends that you used to hang out. Yeah, but we're, we're best friends. It's okay. No big deal. Nobody, I'm not comfortable with it. And okay, fine, I won't talk to them. She says I won't talk to my friends. And then the husband is gone. How's he going to know. You can make another profile, you can talk to whoever you want. If you're if you're not ready to make a commitment, and to respect the boundaries that you're setting

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for each other ahead of time in marriage, then you have no business getting married. And this isn't for you. Because Have you the law means it the door opens in one way. And then it goes somewhere else. Infidelity isn't just a woman cheating on her husband or a man cheating on his wife. It starts with emotional infidelity. It starts with communication, infidelity, infidelity, cheating, has stages has levels. And this idea is about that. It is in fact about that and the dirt that is now wide open. Or that's just a friend of mine. That's just someone I used to work with. That's just this that's just that, why are you talking to them? What's the purpose? Well, you know, cuz I want

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to be nice. No, no, no, no, no, doesn't work like that. Doesn't work like that. When there's no purpose in communication, there shouldn't be communication. And some husbands will come and say no, I'm completely okay with her. Having you know, having whatever communications with your friend, she's not a bad person, the light everybody's a pervert, etc, etc. This logic, right? That sounds great, except, we say things like, oh, no, no, no shutdowns, not real not for them. Cheban bothers everyone else, not them. So when the Prophet saw them said that a man and a woman are alone, right? But the third one is shape on Yeah, a man and a woman but every other man and a woman not hurting

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him. There's their immune, they got vaccinated from chiffon, they don't get that everybody else gets that. So they're completely fine. Everybody wants to be the exception. These principles are given to us for a reason. Nobody would ever think bad have their brother in law, like my wife and my brother, I would never think something wrong. But what are the prophets say something he said I'll humble modes, the brother in law, his death, his ultimate death? Why did he say that? Not because your brother is an evil guy. Or because he's a pervert, because it chiffon is real. Because the devil wants to destroy marriages. Because the mind can work in crazy ways. If you're not open to that

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reality, if you're too and I'm too self righteous to think these kinds of thoughts can never penetrate anyone's mind, then we are kidding ourselves. This is part of a Huracan below her, that the one who's really good at deceiving you deceived you Latos aku, enforcer calm don't consider yourself so pure. Don't consider yourself so righteous that you will you will never fall into such a temptation. You will never have any thought like that. Allah knows. Allah knows. And Allah tells us exactly what goes inside. He says benylin San Juan infc Heba Sierra, welcome as a human being knows exactly what goes on inside of themselves, they have a good view of what goes what goes inside, and

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they keep giving excuses on the outside, you can yell at me or anybody else. It's not like that. I'm not like that and get defensive. And but you know what you can't hide from yourself inside. And if even if you shield yourself from your own true self, Allah knows, Allah knows in the end. So you know, these ayat are not just talking about some ancient reality of the guy off to travel. Now, you can violate as a woman or even as a man you can violate your, your head of the rave, and particularly now ALLAH is talking to women. So I'll talk to talk about what Allah is saying, instead of sugarcoating it, if you aren't protecting yourself from the kinds of communications your husband

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does not want

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Then you're violating you're violating this regulation that Allah gave on he talked on half a lot on the line. But then what did he add? He added Bhima Hafeet Allah, this is what I was telling you is a profound phrase, you know, Allah has, this is not a hadith or anything, but scholars have accepted this phrase, you know,

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and which is that we have to be, we have to have the Hulk be UCLA Kyla the holla Kobe has left me what that means is, Allah has given Allah has certain ways of doing things right like Allah is a rough man. And he likes for his creation to have Rama to

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Allah is Allah dude, he wants us to be loving also. He has a Cebu, he wants us to have sober also. Allah has allowed him and he is honored for us to have knowledge also. So the attributes of Allah are inspiring the human being to pursue those attributes as a slave of Allah. So the same way Allah says to the believer, he says what I think about x and Allah Who Lake Allah has excelled to you, so you should Excel. So Allah says He does it so you should do it. The same way Allah azza wa jal honored the prophets I said I said in alla romana ecotone you saloon Allah, maybe you have a nominal Sanlu. So he's attributing the same thing to himself and he's inspiring his slaves to do it right.

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Let me talk to women in this if he said you better guard the unseen because half of our to

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be Mahaffey, the Allah. So we're gonna Allah to Allah mentioned how he guards. Allah mentions himself guarding himself protecting, and he's basically saying, women should guard the honor of the family when they can't be seen. Nobody can no password protected when all of that's going on, then they should guard the honor of the family. Why? Because Allah has guarded because Allah has gotten so what dilla do, Allah took something that he does, and we contemplate how does Allah guard Allah guards my immune system? Allah guards my family, Allah guards my home from being broken into Allah guards me on the on the road when I'm driving a truck doesn't run into me for no mistake of mine.

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Allah dogs my tires from bursting in the middle of the highway. Allah guards and Allah guards and Allah guards and said he sends legions of angels just for the protection of his believers. But you'll see to adequate half Allah, Allah is guarding all the time. And in the marriage, Allah guarded you, from the fitna of being alone by giving you the gift of marriage Allah guided you by giving you the gift of the husband or the wife, Allah guarded you. Allah guarded those children so now they have legitimate parents. Allah guided those families into future generations that the deen can be guarded because now the marriage is there. There's marriage isn't just about a man and a

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woman. It's about the future generations that will say Allah Allah Allah, Allah guided all of that because of this institution because of marriage. This is why revolution is called me fuck on the lever and the marriage contract is called me thought.

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I mean Cammisa can deliver a tough contract, powerful contract. Why? Because Allah has blessings and families and families and families carry on because of this institution. We make their eyes like Robin I have learned I mean as wodgina widow Rhea, Tina Kurata, our union, Allah limita Pina Imam at the end of sutra we beg Allah to give us the coolness of our eyes from our spouses and our children. Why? coolness of the eyes means what? I want to be happy with my spouse and my child. I don't want to have fights with my spouse and my child. I want to feel a peace. Everywhere else there's a storm when I come home, I feel peace because I'm with my spouse and my children. That's what I want to

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feel why should I feel that? What is the goal feeling good know that once you have that piece, now you're able to carry the Dean forward, which I'm not dealing with Tina, Mama, the seat is 100 harmonious family. And then may Allah We ask Allah to make us leaders over but the P meaning our children are going to, you know, grow up to be with the theme. And they're going to be leaders themselves and they'll carry Taqwa forward generations down, we have to think 1000 years ahead. So this little act of the husband and wife guarding each other is actually something Allah designed to have guarded. It's meant to be guarded. There are two dimensions of haffi of Allah one that Allah

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has already guarded us by way of the institution of marriage. Honor that institution, Allah protected you don't walk away from his protection.

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Allah took care of you don't walk away from the way he took care of you. You see, if Allah gave you a knee protection of some kind, like Allah gave you, for example, a home and he gave you the blessing of having a door in your home that you can lock and you don't use that lock. You leave it half open, and you put a sign outside robbers welcome.

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Then you don't say I don't know why Allah did this to me. Allah provided you everything you need it for you to be safe. You open the door. You did that to yourself. You don't get to bring the laughter that I'm not getting I'm giving you that ridiculous analogy. So you can understand something we're doing the exact same thing in our relationships.

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We're doing the exact same thing Allah has guarded us by way of

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The institution of marriage and then we come now that we've talked about that look at this beautiful Hadith of the Prophet slicin them and Abdullah hidden Yamato the Allahu Taala and in the BSL Allahu Allah cinema GOD, ALLAH could Luca morar, all of you are shepherds. You better know all of you are shepherds, what we'll look at and all of you are answerable for your flock. So the people in your family these talking to the men, for immunology, Allah nasira, the head, the leader, over people, the governor over the people, he's going to be a shepherd, Well, who am I fooling it? And he's going to be answerable over his flock. What? Genre Beatty, he and a man is a shepherd over the of the of

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the family of his home, meaning the people in his house. He's the shepherd over them, he has to protect them. By the way, what is the shepherd business? All the prophets were shepherds by the way many of them, right. And sheep? Are they love going off the edge of a cliff. I don't know what to put in them, but they love me. Something's moving in the bushes might be a wolf, I should have that way.

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And they know they know. And when you pull them away, this I don't want to go.

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So what is it? What's the purpose of being a shepherd, you're supposed to steer your family away from things that are harmful. You're supposed to protect them. You're supposed to guide and you're supposed to care for them. You're supposed to make sure they're fed to you. I'm looking out for predators and threats all around. That's what a lot is. He's carrying a stick with him not for the sheep. It's carrying it for the wolves. Right and he's constantly protective. And when he does that, then this this is what we become in our homes well, who almost only nine home well, more at Iatan Allah Beatty Valley however, the he listened to this, and a woman is a shepherd over the household

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of her husband and his children.

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So when he's gone, she's the shepherd, his absence, which is most of the time in the working day, if you've got a real job you got to go out nowadays maybe you're working at home. But you know what, nowadays you can be home and not home at the same time. Because you're lost inside your firm, you're in your own universe, and your family members in their own universe. So they're all laid from each other. Right? But she's been given the responsibility to it's not just that the men are responsible women are responsible to well Abdullah and Allah Malissa de were homeless man who have a cool camera como como una de la This is agreed upon Hadith. The slave is answerable to the master the employee,

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to the employer. This is a principle of our deen. So let's step back now for a moment and understand the principle. What is the principle in our deen every relationship that Allah has created, whether it's between an employer and an employee, whether it's between a father and a son, or a father and a daughter, or a mother and child, or a husband and a wife, any relationship Allah has created comes with a set of rights and responsibilities and those responses when you fulfill your responsibilities. You're not doing them for that person. Like I said, those Koba you're doing them for Allah, so they don't have to be there for you to do them. If your boss isn't there, that doesn't

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mean you're taking an early break.

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If your employer isn't watching the security cameras off doesn't mean you start playing video games, you're still doing your job, you have to be honest with your work. If your customers and watching doesn't mean you get to get sell them less inferior items. You don't get to do that.

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The same way in our marriage, the same way the husband and wife owe each other. So now with this context that has been so well established by the IEA Allah then turns his attention back to men. And as I go further, I will tell you there are two if you have to look at them together. And then by when we go step further back, there are two sutras we have to look at together, which we're going to do in the coming weeks. The two ayat we have to look at together or this is number 34. And the other is in the Surah. Number 128 120. Why? Because the same word new shoes occurs in both of these ayat

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and it flips the sequence here. Allah says, well, Lottie, Takapuna new shoes are now that's the only part I'll talk about briefly today. And those women from whom you fear new shoes, I won't translate new shoes yet. So let's house men and you men, those of you men who are afraid of new shoes, the way your women's new shoes, it scares you. What should you do? Well, we got to figure out what new shoes is and why is it scary? Because I literally mentioned fear here. And it's something the what did I say? 34. And then the other is 128. On the other side, yeah. And in 128, Allah flips this and says what in him rotten half admin, barely her new shoes. And if there's a woman, and she's afraid of new

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shoes from her husband,

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so now in this iron, men are being told, by the way, if you are afraid of the new shoes of your lives, and in that area, and if a woman is afraid of the new shoes of her husband

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So both have been addressed. Yes. Now let's take a step back again. New shoes cannot in the IRA makes the least sense to me new shoes means disobedience.

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New shoes cannot mean disobedience. Why? Because of new shoes means disobedience. This is about if you're afraid that your wife disobeys you

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than the other hours. What if a woman is afraid that the husband disobeys her? So now the referee commanding each other and obeying each other? That's not what this is. There's something else going on in the eye and this is called inner because what qualities that Allah azza wa jal given the IATA men, and what qualities that he gave women, what expectations did you give women, the women were told to guard their modesty for the husband be loyal to their husbands? Now husband, when he's if you think of disobedience, disobedience would be Hey, can you bring me a glass of water? I'm tired.

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That doesn't scare you. Does it?

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scare you? Like, I'm not sure if I should ask for a glass of water right now. I don't know. What if she says no, it's really scary. That's not what you're thinking. And if you're thinking that See me after the hotbar, you have other issues. But

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it is what scares a man is actually is she talking to someone I don't want to talking to? Is there something going on? Why is I was that guy looking at it? Why would she smile like that? Why did this suspicion come comes into mind? You protective? You know you're protective and possessive of your of your spouse and the spouse, the wife is possessive of you. And that in that possession? Sometimes you say, what was going on there? Why? Why did that happen? I didn't like that. And it keeps on happening. And as it keeps on happening, your paranoia is building. And that paranoia is actually being talked about what is no shoes here, it's actually infidelity.

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If the if the wife if the husband is starting to think she has feelings for somebody else, she likes somebody else. She's talking to somebody else. She's thinking about somebody else. She's not loyal anymore in some way. It doesn't have to be Xena.

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I know. infidelity is not just about the act. Infidelity can be communication. It can be friendship, it can be emotional. You know?

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Who are you talking to? Nobody? Even nobody? Who are you talking to? I just somebody, I thought he was nobody. He just upgraded to somebody who's the somebody? You don't know him? Oh,

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who's this him? Is your family? What feels like family? What's going on? What's going on here? And he's getting afraid, something's up. There's something wrong here. You know, why are you asking so many questions? Or now, when you say why are you asking so many questions? If you're thinking that when you ask that question, the husband will be like, you're right. I shouldn't ask any questions. Now I'm finally calm because you told me not to ask questions. All the paranoia disappeared. Thanks for saying why are you asking so many questions? No. Once you say why are you asking so many questions, the suspicions go exponentially higher.

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There's something going on? And when can that kind of thing happened clearly when a husband and wife are not communicating openly, when there's a lack of trust, when there's a lack of what were you doing? Where were you what's going on and there's a constant paranoia, you're becoming the FBI on each other all the time. Right? That means something else something more fundamental in the relationship has already broken apart. It's come to the point where you're suspecting each other constantly have something else going on. And something else happening. That actually is a it's a horrible state to be in, and it's a terrible feeling. And we are afraid to ever have to live through

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that a feeling like that. So it's appropriate that Allah azza wa jal mentions the word fear here for both men and for women.

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For men and women, this is a scary thing. And so this is our starting point for the rest for the what is supposed to be the controversial part of the iron is no controversy, Allah has given us a gift in the IOE. Allah has given us solutions in the IR, Allah has taught us a way of saving marriage in the IRA. And we look at all of those pieces. We don't have to run from any of them we're gonna look at all of them in shallow Tala, and be as loyal as we can be to the word of Allah and be and be good husbands and good wives, by way of learning these lessons. So I pray Allah azza wa jal protects all of us men and women from new shoes, because it can be committed from either side. Right

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so now the infidelity component no shoes can happen from a man and can happen from a woman and both of them have been talked about and we're gonna accomplish contemplate both of them in shallow Tyler. I also pray that men we men are able to be the Quran Allah expects us to be and the women are able to be the study hard on it at half the labor that Allah expects them to be and we maybe become the husbands and the wives become the coolness of the eyes for each other in this dunya and in the next BarakAllahu li Walakum Quran Hakeem whenever any way he can be it was the Kentucky

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of hamdu Lillahi wa wa Salatu was Salam ala Abadi Hill Adina Stouffer also son Allah Tala him mahalo

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In the beginning, Mohamed El Amin while early he was a huge Marine, Allah azza wa jal FICKY tambien can embed an Akula arugula administrator Nakajima, in Allahu Allah, aka Taku Soluna Allah maybe you already know Amanu Sallu alayhi wa sallam Moses Lima Allahumma Salli ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed Kamasan Laker Allah Rahim Allah Ali Ibrahim, the enemy in the middle Majeed Allahumma barik ala Muhammad Ali Mohammed comma Baraka, Rahim, Ali Ibrahim Al Al Amin in the Gambia, de Majeed, everybody Allah, Allah, Allah and Allah Muhammad Ali Shan were either either Corbat when her and fascia he will mooncup well as the crow Allah Akbar for LAHIA level metal Snowtown consola in Masada

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