Gratitude, Dua, Marriage & Money!
Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
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to this goodbye is going to be a lesson in coherence. What that means is in the Quran, Allah azza wa jal connects different subjects together. That seemed like they have nothing to do with each other. If you look at them in isolation, there's one topic and another topic and another topic, but actually, Allah combines them together. Like he calls them IR to come out, IR that are one of the meanings of commodities that are stitched together. So when you when you look at stitching, or knitting or anything like that, you might see that colors, different colors are being stitched together. But when you look at the larger tapestry, you see that you step back, you see a symmetry
and you see a continuity and things working with each other. Right. So it's a lot of that is applied to the study of the Quran. Also, this is a continuation of the advice that I'm trying to give to myself and to all of you to make the most of the month of Ramadan as we are in the thick of it now.
What I want to remind myself of first is the conclusion of the idea of Ramadan, Allah azza wa jal said that in Lakota schools, so you can become grateful. So you can be grateful. And so one of the great goals of Ramadan is actually becoming grateful, first and foremost, for the revelation of the Quran, for the sacrifices of those because of whom we get to say, like Allah, Allah, Allah before, but also feeling hunger, feeling thirst, feeling that deprivation is actually a way of our body. And then when that entire month is over, and we get to enjoy the food, and the drink without those restrictions, it makes us more grateful for what we have, it makes us appreciate naturally, you
become appreciative of those things that Allah has made halal for you. And Allah has made available for you. So there are two things Allah can make something like that. And then Allah makes something available. Just because something is halal doesn't mean it's available to you. Right? So Allah opens the doors of this for his believers. And then he allows them to to enjoy that this that Halal this, which benefits the believer in this life, and it also benefits them in the next slide. So the fact that we're consuming the halal is actually an act of worship not only an act of nourishment, so when you're breaking your fast in the evening, and I'm breaking my fast, it feels good, that we're
feeding our bodies, but we're actually at the time also doing an act of worship. Both of those things go hand in hand. And in this beautiful way, what Allah has done in his deen is that he's constantly combined, deen and duniya. Together, this life and the next life are constantly fused together. You know, in other religious traditions, what is spiritual is something separate. And what is material is something separate. Those are two separate endeavors. Right? And you do stuff for yourself in this life, and then there's stuff you do for your religion. Right? But our deen is remarkable. It combines both of those things seamlessly. So for instance, outside of Ramadan, the
next major spiritual season in the life, and the year cycle of the Muslim is the Hajj season, right. So that's pretty soon after this is going to be the highest season. And how as you can imagine, is even more intense, spiritually for those that are able to go because they're leaving everything behind the and they're not even wearing their normal dress of clothes. Everybody's dressed like they're about to be buried. Right? That's how they're dressed. And it's a giant rehearsal for Judgment Day. They're all standing in front of Allah. They're saying here, here I come Allah here I come. Begging Allah for forgiveness, right? So the whole thing is an exercise and remembering the
gathering that's going to happen on Judgement Day. Right? in the thick of that if people have left their families and nowadays of course, we take flights and there's air conditioning on the plane and there's people you know, those flight attendants handing us peanuts and whatever, but like, back in the day, people when they left to go to hedge, they would say via their family forever, like the high likelihood I'll get robbed on the way or killed by some disease or you know, the chances of you surviving the HUD journey were very, very low. Right. So people were saying life farewells when they were coming for home it's not as simple thing as it is nowadays, right so but but regardless, when
people made it to Hajj even then Allah said
that you can you can pursue Allah's favor. You know, like when you go there and the Ayat of Hajj Allah azza wa jal says Lisa Aleikum, Jonathan and Talofa, Morocco, there's no harm on you if you pursue some benefit from your opinion, if you brought goods with you to sell while you're at home, because obviously, you're going to need money to make it back home too. And you have come all this way for the sake of Allah. But in this time, if you want to do some trade, it's okay for you to do that. Which is wild, because this is supposed to be the spiritual journey. Right? But even then, and that trade, which you think is a materialistic thing, how did Allah describe it? Allah didn't say
Untaek, the Cebu, Amana and the OMA with Pajara. Like you can use sales or you could do some business. He said that you pursue a favor from your master. I'm pursuing a favor from Allah, that's actually an act of worship, right. So even that, that the Hajj was come there for the sake of Allah, then selling something. And you might see people come there, even now, unofficially, they have the official markets, right. And, unofficially, if you go to Hajj, people are just selling stuff on the street. And they're also conjoined, they're also doing Harley and they're just selling stuff on the street, they're actually living this idea to their living that the cops unfortunately come and push
them out of the way, you know, and they just get get rid of them. But that's not what's supposed to happen. There's supposed to be some regulation, but the idea is, in fact, that they are that is an allowance that Allah azza wa jal himself gave because people are gathering from all over the world. So there's an opportunity to make a little bit of money. And that's completely fine. The point I was making was that the spiritual and the material are fused together. They're not looked at separately. Allah does this over and over again in the Quran. Countless times I've mentioned to you the example of, you know, people that in Medina, in early life of Medina, most people didn't know how to read
and write. Very few people were literate. Right. But people still needed to do financial transactions. And financial transactions is one of those things where having a record is really important, right, because you're going to have a dispute land dispute, property dispute loan dispute, right? I I lent you 1000 No, you didn't you lend me 500. I don't remember 1000. It can't be based on memory alone. So Allah azza wa jal even revealed in certain Bacara that you should, when you engage in a loan agreement, the untapped taboo, that you've documented that you write it down now this was a problem because in most of Molina most people don't know how to read and write.
Right? So what did Allah say, in the middle of that IO? Well, the few people who do know how to write, they must now be you know, how we call nowadays jury duty, like, if some people can attend the jury, they have to come, it was like that Allah said, those of those of you that Allah has taught to right, move forward each other. So the hope that doesn't have to be interrupted, moving move, squeezed together as much as possible and lots of people.
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There's open space here, I see some nice open space here. Wherever I see carpet, I see opportunity.
So So now Allah says about those who are the few people who can write, meaning write the loan contract, that they should write it because Allah taught them, Miranda Mahala, from from what Allah has taught this person. So Allah is saying that even the person who knows how to write a secular financial transaction will contract is something Allah has taught, meaning that's also sacred knowledge when it's used for the benefit of someone else. Right. So over and over again, in the Quran, what is supposed to be spiritual is merged with something that is physical. There, both of those things are combined with each other. Now, what happens in the month of Ramadan, this is the
spiritual highlight of the year for the Muslim. And we are engaged in something that is supposed to be extremely, extremely connected to Allah. And Allah says, so that you can be grateful. And then he talks about Dora and then also talking about marriage. And he says, make sure that you have you express more love to you towards your wife. Like he doesn't talk about that any other time of the year. He talks about that here. You know, and he talks about, you know, we have children here, so I'll use it, you know, coded language. He's encourages believers to be intimate with their spouses. What's that doing in the middle of Ramadan? Why? Because the married life of a believer is actually
a shield for the believer. That's actually supposed to be something that protects the believer, and protects one of the goals of, of Ramadan and the goals of fasting is to develop taqwa and Taqwa cannot happen. If your mind is wandering, the clock cannot happen if the desires Allah has put inside you are not challenged Cannell in what is halal. Just like the food is being restricted to what is halal and the time that is allowed the same way or hindered accommodated for Ciana refer to
but before then, so as as Allah says, You should be
I'm grateful he starts talking about dying, I'm going to try to take these multiple subjects that don't seem to have anything to do with each other and fuse them together as we go. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about the art for a couple of minutes. What says in these is in the ayat of Ramadan, he says what he does elegantly by the need for iniquity, when my when my slaves asked you about me than I am absolutely here, I'm going to be super fast with this. There's multiple, multiple things to note here in these words, so keep up with me. You know, in any language, there's if and then statements. So if I say if, if I, if I purchase this flight, then be at the airport at this
time, right? So if I say that, if I, if I get on this flight, then be at the airport that I'm saying, there's a chance that I'll be I'll buy it, there's a chance that I will, but it's 5050. There's no guarantee when I use the word if, right? But when I say when, when I use the word win, when I get on this fight, you better call me, then I'm not saying if what I'm saying when I'm giving you a guarantee, this is done. This is the this is a big difference between If and when. Right, I often give the example of a mother who's waiting for her son, you know, sometimes, sons get deployed in the military or, you know, sons or daughters, they go abroad to study, right? Or they they end up
in a country where there's a conflict that breaks out. And now the parents are panicking, what's going to happen to my son or my daughter, right? So the, the mother doesn't say, if my child comes back, I'll be so happy. She doesn't say that. She said, when my child comes back, I'll be so happy that she can accept the possibility of if because then she's acknowledging that there's a chance my son or daughter will survive. So her hope and her belief that Allah will see this through mixed or not say if it makes her say what, when? So Allah azza wa jal in this IRA, when he talks about da he didn't say if my slaves asked you to the Levant, if meaning the Sahaba come to the Prophet, if they
come and ask you about Me, he didn't say that. He said, when they come and ask you about Me. So the wind is important because Allah is expecting his slaves to ask about him to want to learn about him. He's actually optimistic about you and me that we're gonna want to learn about him and, and learn about him from who I said, aka anybody. They ask you about Me. We need to come to Allah's Messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who's been given the revelation, so we're coming to the Quran, we're coming to the Sunnah of the Prophet size. And we're doing that and we're living this is when the couple of we were asking about Allah to Allah, his book and his messengers. That's how you learn
about Allah, what He does, anybody only. And now the thing is, they're not asking Allah, they're asking the prophet to learn, right? So the teacher is the prophets of Allah already, etcetera. So the answer should also come from the Prophet. So the prophesy said, is expected to say, well, when they asked you about me, then tell them that I am here. Then tell them focus on those words, tell them that I am near What did Allah do? He removed the words tell them he didn't say for love them in your career. He said for in the career that I am near. In other words, they're asking the prophets but Allah starts talking to the believer directly. So you trying to learn more about a loss gives
you the direct attention of Allah, Arizona, and he says, I am especially close to you, and have always been for anybody. Now that that closeness can mean many things.
Like you know, hakuna Alexandra viva, you know, in Sultan Nyssa, Allah says Allah is Rocky has always been rocky Bovary repeat is actually used in Arabic for the shepherd. And the shepherd used to take care of his sheep. And some of the sheep are going to close to the edge of the cliff and the sheep are done, they're going to fall off the cliff. So what does the shepherd do? It grabs the sheep from the back of its rock club, back of its neck, you know, political up, and he pulls it back. Right? And the shepherd who grabs the neck and pulls back is called at a peak.
And Allah uses that word to describe it one of the dimensions of his relationship with us, like he's pulling you back from hell. And you're, you're doing stupid things, and he's guiding you and pulling you back. You know, so what are in Aloka Aliko motiva so that's also closeness. But in this is a different kind of closeness. He says, I Amir Fuji will die with a day either than I immediately respond to the call of the one who called whenever they call, you know, I immediately so he's talking about Doha here calling on ALLAH asking ALLAH for stuff. So on the one hand, we're grateful for everything we have, because the last night was the Andhra Pradesh rule. And if you're grateful,
you say, I don't need anything Well, no, we're human beings. We can be grateful and because we still want stuff, we're grateful we still want more. And we know Allah is teaching us that you know, now that you've become grateful to me, now you're in a position to ask you so we are the first prerequisite of real dua is actually gratitude
And then after that, knowing that Allah is close, and then after that he says, I'm expecting you to once you learn about me, because if I like anybody I mean, when my slaves ask you about Me, when you learn about me, the immediate consequence of learning about Allah will be you'll want to talk to Allah, you'll want to call on him and ask him exactly what happens in the fact that we learn about Allah and hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen Rahman Rahim, Maliki Amity. And when we learned about him, we asked him, we talked to him ear canal, do we are going to send you a dinner? Right? So we talked to him. That's the same thing that's happening here. We're going to talk to Allah. And he says, It
doesn't matter if you've been praying to Hadoop, it doesn't matter if you've been messing up, it doesn't matter if you had you slipped up. It doesn't matter if in the past, you drank alcohol, it doesn't matter if you whatever mistakes you made before, whatever dark secrets you have before, so long as you're someone who calls. That's the only requirement either the and he will die either they are the one who calls I will respond to his call. In other words, you don't judge your previous sins and say now that I have those sins, Allah will not listen to me. No, Allah is willing to listen to you even now. Even after all your message, so long as you're someone who just genuinely just wants
to call you Allah, Allah will answer immediately. And you become special to Allah is that the iron and this is, you know, it's it's powerful to think about that when when you I was reminded of this many years ago, when I one of my children they had they had a specialist, they needed to see a neurologist that they needed to see. And that neurologists it would not he would not get the appointment, like he would not give him he's so booked out six, eight months in advance. You couldn't meet you couldn't meet him. And they finally give you an appointment. And you have like a 30 minute window to meet this person. If you're five, seven minutes late is gone. Another six months
are gone. Right? So the more important someone is, you can't they they're not on your schedule, you're on their schedule. You're on their schedule, right? And so what is you, Allah, what does Allah say? Would you would Alice and daddy either Dine, I call, I respond to the call of anybody, or the one who calls me whenever they come?
Whenever they call me you think about that. It's Allah, you know, the highest of the high Subhanallah Isla, and he's making himself permanently available to the one who makes God that's how special though is to Allah. And he mentioned that in the month of Ramadan. So this is the month to ask Allah. This is the month to expect that Allah will respond whenever we ask, either directly, but then he asked for something in return. And that's where we're going to try to tie these these together these few minutes. He said, failure stage Eboli, then they should respond. They should try to respond to me.
I asked him something, I am asking something of them also. What you mean will be and they should they should have faith in me. They should believe in me, that Allah homeo should do so they can be set straight. So you're asking for something, but whatever you're asking for needs to be in line with what Allah is asking you. You can't be asking Allah for haram stuff. You can't be asking Allah for things that Allah is going goes against what Allah himself asked you. It's within the shade of you're supposed to be responding to Allah also, you're asking Allah for things, Allah also asked you for some things, you should at least show him some effort, I should show him some effort that I'm
trying to respond to what he said to what he has, and I have to have faith in him. So I can be set right. And then right after that, I have Dora Allah mentioned the the Ayat of marriage. You see, when it comes to marriage, we know that even when Allah azza wa jal was sending other Malays salaam on the earth, one of the things he said that was terrifying was not only about them how to do, right, he's sending other Halal products from our mother Hawa. And the bliss is now coming to the earth, three of them are coming to the earth. And he said you will be enemies to each other. So there's three people, three groups A, B, and C man, woman and devil, right. And he says Your only
enemies to each other. So one meaning of that is for men and woman, the enemy is the devil. But the devil also works in interesting ways. He makes sure that man becomes the enemy of woman and woman becomes the enemy of man, you need them, but you hate them also. And you make sure that you create lots of conflicts and the most successful the most important project in the in the in the in the mission of the police is to create conflict between men and women and to destroy the thing that brings harmony. Family brings unity in society. And family cannot happen without marriage. So if he can successfully destroy marriage, that he's destroyed the family and if he could destroy families,
he could destroy the communities. And once the community that destroyed societies are destroyed, you know, a judge in Brooklyn that had served in juvenile court, you know, those young people court, right 40 years of serving in juvenile court and he and he's
seemed lots of kids kids commit murder drugs, all this stuff. And he was asked, what is the problem? What is the solution to the crisis of young people falling into crime? Right? And he said, fix the broken homes. Things like that was a solution. Right? Why? Because when when families are being destroyed, and when there's conflict inside families, when there's fighting inside families, there's ugliness inside families, when kids are even if, if the families are broken, if people aren't together, husband and wife are together, they're always arguing, always fighting, always sarcastic with each other, always negative with each other, always putting each other down, or the wife is
talking to her friends. And she's all kept saying all kinds of bad things about her husband, how useless he is all this is, are in fact, we've been posting about him in comment sections. What a terrible human being he is, you know, you know, shave, what do you say about her husband, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla,
you know, and then husbands are doing the same thing, or they're talking down to her or they're, they're acting like the only way I can respect my mother is to treat you like garbage. Right? That's a new formula, which has nothing to do with Assam, we came up with this formula that will validate goodness to parents means teacher, white, white, like governments. Right? We have all kinds of this, this ugliness inside of the institution of marriage, where the spouse, the husband is not honoring the wife, the wife is not honoring the husband, they both have a list of complaints that they're not willing to address. They're not willing to open up, they're not willing to have you know, respectful
communication, they're not willing to get outside help this this this conflict keeps on going, you know, in the previous I have returned to Allah for da so when you're turning to Allah for da, you know, don't be like, yeah, Allah, I need more. I need boundaries. Yeah, Allah fix Maya, you know, I have a back problem. You know, my kids, this might cause that. And then when it comes to your marriage of a gala, you and I know that was hopeless. I won't even make God like you
don't have that attitudes. Don't have that attitude. And he What did he say about marriage? He said in the next. So the thing is, in this previous aisle, we have a Doha. And then in the next day, he talks about marriage. He talks about love between husband and wife, and he fuses it with the aisle fasting. You know what that means? That that relationship is a state secret, just like fasting is sacred. So you know, collusion or do
we not hide? Tell us what the middle of budget demasiado Elaine, is about the fasting could eat and drink until the morning comes and your budget comes and then feed you know, finish the fast until the evening, keep fasting until the evening. Without device you don't know. If when I felt misogyny and when your net take off, don't be intimate with your spouse. Go back to those back to the spouses again. What's he telling us that this is actually a secret part, an important part of the spiritual life of a believer This is not just for you and her this for Allah? No. This is for Alana. You have to protect that. You have to fix that. You have to work on that. And a part of that. See, there are
hints in the Quran I told you I'm going to merge three things together. These are the Ayat of fasting and at the end of the day fasting, Allah azza wa jal says what he says, when I talk Kulu Amala combiner con Bilbao thing. Don't don't eat up each other's money using lives. Don't fall asleep. Ew, John, he starts talking about financial issues. Like what does that have to do with anything? Ah, what he says Don't you know each other's money falsely. While we're learning something about Dukkha aren't we Taqwa doesn't just mean that you're praying five times that your appearances become more Islamic check while also means how you making your money bro How are you making your
money? Where are you spending your money? And are you giving the money where it's supposed to be given? Did you give your man which is which is not a right of the wife and there's a right of Allah to give to the wife what after the disaster
and you better give it happily and quickly there are people that are married 2030 years they haven't given they're given them out well you know what make nobody give it now. Give it now this this That's not a joke. Yeah, Allah will ask you about it. Save yourself from Allah's wrath. That's not that's not something small. Well hunting. I mean, we can be Falcon believer, they've taken a heavy covenant from you. They've taken a strong contract from you a secret contract from you. The money matters between husband and wife are also important. Or regional our Munna and Anissa female football Allahu Allahu Allah will be my woman and wily him. Men are maintainers over women, because
of the preference Allah has given to some over others, and because they spend from their money, you're financially responsible. She shouldn't have to be asking you for the money for the groceries. She shouldn't have to be asking you for this, that or the other, you know, doesn't mean that she controls your bank account, but it also means that you are actually responsible and maybe in a lot of homes, Allah I pray that Allah gives
You can't do this. And this is not the conflict in your home. But in a lot of homes, it's the money. That's the heart of the problem. And we've created an alt culture look as a man, you have responsibility to in a different direction, you always check out on your HELOC and the parents need your financial support. Maybe your siblings, if they're not doing well, they need your support. Maybe some cousin needs a loan, that all of that can be true. But man, if you're if you're depriving your spouse and your own children of what they rightfully deserve, and your money goes everywhere else, and every time you give to them, it hurts you on the inside, then you have no business being a
husband. This this is not what this team defines. We have to be we have to man up when it comes to that. That doesn't mean that women don't have a responsibility. Actually, this is what I'm going to end with putting on the bus will come on to the Barcelona doesn't mean if you trust you with money that you think you have a free credit card shopping spree. It doesn't mean that you can just spend on whatever you want, or you can do whatever you want with it. No, he's trusted you with something. He's taken his hard earned income and he's, he's he expects you to protect the best interests of this household. And you're not looking at well last last year, he got his mother this gift. I'm
going to make sure I buy a more expensive gift for myself like, stop, stop living in comparison. live responsibly live with the Taqwa of Allah, they are your covering and you are there covering? Can you imagine if your own clothes turn against you? Allah describes your spouse as your clothes. If your own clothes turned against you, if your clothes start poking at you, if your clothes start giving you a rash, if your clothes start irritating even one part of you, what do you want to do with those clothes? You want to get rid of them? You want to replace them? You're constantly thinking, Ah, my life is good except for the shirt. You know? So when Allah says that they're your
spouse, and all you're doing is agitate each other, as I understand the imagery here. If you're all you're doing is agitating, fighting, poking at each other, if that's what's happening, then what declares this, then what what how are you going around making dua to Allah? How are you going to fix finance? Allah says, don't eat each other's money using falsehood, don't cheat in business, you know, and he even talks about you know, bribing politicians well I do behind alchemy that could have an income inequality believe me. So you can you can, you know, use money to reel in rulers. So one group can eat the money deserved by another sinfully want to target one and you know what you're
doing. And obviously lobby similar other groups do directly with people with money, they buy politicians for their agenda, but actually much before then, you have in your own family, you have Hohokam, you have people that have influence over you. And then they say treat your wife unjustly treated, treat your children I just put your money here instead give it to me instead. And you over you overlook your your you know, and you want you want to buy the favor of others, and you want to do things for them artificially and spend money in ways that it's just displeasing to Allah. There are people online, I think it's the craziest thing. There are people you know, look, I live in
America, you have family back home in some country, right? And they need help. Right? And they need help. But you know, you're you're traveling back, you're visiting Egypt, you're visiting Algeria, you're visiting Pakistan, you're visiting Bangladesh. And what do you do you take eight suitcases full of presents, right? Because you got to make sure that people like him from America. You know, here's here's one for you. You'd like Oprah, passing out, whatever you know, and your own kids and your wife are looking at you like,
but when's the last time you got us anything?
Because this is not your generosity. You feel good acting like the king when you get back home? Like everybody feel oh my god.
You know, Allah won't ask you what you passed out what toys you gave out? What shirts, clothing? What did you get do for your own kids? What did you do for your own spouse, you know, and you don't think that creates animosity inside of a family, then you wonder why your wife hates your boss her in laws, then you wonder why you hate our side of the family because you do this fake stuff. You do this instead of putting money where it's supposed to go. So when you become each other's close, that means you're very close to each other, you're vulnerable with each other, you're honest with each other, and you're good with money matters. And when you can't even do that in the household, then
forget it. By the time the financial issues reach society, then you're going to have the most corrupt business institutions, the most corrupt politicians, because corruption human corruption begins inside the home, and then it spreads out into society. There's a ripple effect. So you can argue all you want about corrupt politicians, and these people are bought out and oh my god, this and that. But the own corruption in your own bedroom in your own living room, when you don't address that you have no place to be
got no place to speak. Now Allah azza wa jal truly make us a people of Taqwa. May Allah make us those who come out of Ramadan realizing this look at the conclusion of Ramadan is iron number 187. And I have 188 Reveal yourselves is about financial fairness. What's Allah telling you and me? Once you come out of Ramadan, the way you handle money should be different
than we that's that's Taqwa. That's what it's supposed to be. Allah azza wa jal make us fear in matters of money. And Allah azza wa jal helps us resolve the conflicts we have going on at home and Allah azza wa jal give us a, you know, an ability to respectfully safely and openly be able to address our concerns with our spouses, so our relationships can only become better and better and more transparent and allows them to give us the ability to raise righteous children and be able to give them a good upbringing and Allah azza wa jal accept all of our worship and Ramadan and use this help us use this opportunity to come closer and closer to home and become better and better
believers. BarakAllahu li Walakum feel for it Hakeem when the family will eat it with a
Hamdulillahi waka wa salatu salam O Allah everybody in Medina, Safa Kosis, on how the volume Mahajan in the biggie Muhammad in El Amin vida, and he was actually here at Marin, tombola who has always advocated he can eat burger and a cooler with the human a shaker machine in Oklahoma Erica who is Saluda Allen maybe you heard that in southern Florida he was already moved to slimmer Allahumma Salli ala Muhammad Muhammad Kemosabe Rahim Allah and he for him in Medina along my medic Allah Mohammed in Ronda and empowerment robotics data.
regards Allah, Allah it took Allah in the La Jolla movie it will assemble if anything about Russia political body Akbar Allah we are
solid in a solid second.