First turn into a Man then worry about getting Married

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Nouman Ali Khan

Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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And youth Get your act together. If you want to tell your boys let me talk to you boys for a second.

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I've been meaning to talk to you.

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If you're 17 or 18 and saying, Mom, I want to get married because you know, this urge.

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I don't know what to do about it. But Allah subhanho wa Taala says it's sort of

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114 to get really nasty. Oh Boucher. Have a tea meaningless.

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just memorize that part.

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Right? Because I need the Quran to help me out here. Let me tell you something. First, turn into a man.

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Then worry about getting married.

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you working? How many hours? You helping out with the finances of the house? You taking care of business, you may end up

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helping out your father with the business. You're paying for your own school? Standing on your own feet. No hammer junior in college. What's your major? I don't know. I thought it was accounting. But I took a couple of courses and like I failed. And so I'm thinking I should do political science.

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What are you going to do for work? I don't know. I'll figure that out when I graduate.

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Really, because that just means you're still a child.

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I don't know why you have that strange accent, what?

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Man up, get direction in life. Start working while you're in college. You want to talk about marriage, start working while you're in college, pay your own tuition. Man up. If you have to work at the gap and sell t shirts. If you have to go change tires at a car station doesn't matter. If you have to be the guy, the guy that does the valet parking, you know, it doesn't matter. Get an odd job doesn't matter. It will prepare you for life. getting yelled at by your boss, when you're late to work will prepare you for life. Stop being a spoiled brat that is playing PlayStation three and Xbox 368 hours a day. And then he says brother no man, how do I tell my parents I want to get married.

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When you become a man, you can get married, then you have a case to make. Look, Mom, I'm carrying my own weight. Look, Dad, I've been working. I can support a family now. I can take care of it. And this is actually this is a conversation about maturity that's really important for both parents and young people. You know, Texas and 100 not a lot of Muslims are moving here. Because it's you know, low cost of living. I mean, obviously in New York, I couldn't afford a house, I couldn't afford to do what I'm doing here in Texas, obviously, like drastically cheaper, which means we have more disposable income, which means we're probably paying for the tuition of our children when they go to

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college. Those of you that have kids that are going to call it show of hands please. Show of hands kids going to college, a few of you, okay, you know, don't be ashamed. It's okay. He says he only goes sometimes.

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But anyway. So if you if you're if your kids are going to college, and you're paying their tuition and you bought them a car and you're paying for the insurance, and you got them health insurance, and N N N, N, N and N and

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then you know why they're adults with beards. And you know, they're they've hit puberty already. But actually, when it comes to dealing with life, they're still children, because they haven't taken any responsibility. And that's why they can cut classes and fail and take another semester because daddy's always there to pay tuition. And if dad gets mad mom will pay modelmaking pay anyway, it's okay, I got it. I got this. I got my plan, you know.

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So if that's the case with you, that then your parents are responsible for not letting their children become adults. I mean, I'm talking about outside of med school. med school, you can't do anything sorry, you just your life is over. But that's other everybody else. The only thing you can do is be presidents of machines afterwards.

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But

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it happens. I don't know how it happens. But it happens nationally, it is a national Sunday of American Muslims. become a doctor then run a machine. Sorry, Doc.

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But anyhow, if you don't start working ahead of time,

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then you know, we're living in tough economic times, right? Nobody's gonna hire somebody with a degree in their hands. And no work experience. Nobody's gonna hire you.

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And then you'll be sitting on you know, on a chair or you know, another few years before you get married. Oh, I can get my my parents can support because the parents should support us.

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What we're what happened to chivalry? You know, I don't know. What happened is, is being mainly the that and then you can get married. Absolutely. You should get married. If you're mature enough. You should get married early. And I'm speaking and I don't consider myself an ideal case by any stretch of the imagination. I was a spoiled brat myself when I was a teenager. But my father, my family had to move from New York and I was living by myself in New York. I've been working 40 hours a week since I was 17. Full Time high school, college. I took an extra year in college.

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Because I was working full time, 40 hours is a minimum I ever worked. Right? But you know what I'm really grateful for that. I'm really grateful I had to pay my own college tuition. I'm really grateful I only had $21 left almost exactly every single month in savings.

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Like it was by the T, I knew which days I have to eat one slice of pizza in which day I have to eat one fish fillet sandwich from McDonald's. It was it was like budgeted out by the day to survive. You know how much I can spend on the subway, how much I can spend on food, how much I can spend on this without the tuition, how much I need to save. And sometimes it didn't save enough and I couldn't take 12 credits, I have to take nine credits, you know, but you know what it really, really helped me in life. That difficulty really helped me in life. I'm really grateful that I was in that situation. I'm very grateful for that. I see that young people nowadays are not in that situation.

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Everything is taken care of everything is taken care of. And they never face the reality of having to stand on their own feet. The thought doesn't even cross their mind. So when their dad says go clean up the backyard, they go.

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Can we have lawn mowers for that or something?

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Can I just spend my allowance and go get some guys from Home Depot to do it.

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You can't even you don't have any work ethic, then you can't talk about marriage. Then you should not be talking about marriage. But marriage is about running a household on your own. It's not just about man, I'm gonna marry this beautiful girl is gonna be a lot.

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There's a lot more to marriage. Okay, so that was my rant to young young guys. Sorry. Okay.