Channel: Nouman Ali Khan
The very first lesson we learn from the story of Prophet Yusuf is that sometimes we must deal with harsh realities within our families and that as parents we must communicate warnings to our children very clearly.
The Quran teaches us to have emotional intelligence and to ensure that our children take precautions against unhealthy relationships.
Salam Alaikum everyone welcome to amazed by the Koran a series in which I love sharing with you guys things I find amazing about the Koran. And today, just a couple of insights that I read about from the story of use of Alex Salmond, when use of had seen a dream about his, you know, the 11 stars, the sun and the moon and he told his dad, his dad responded to Allah Buddha. He said, My beloved child, not associated with deca don't narrate your dream onto your brother's via que de la Caden. Because immediately they are going to scheme against you pretty badly, they're going to make a pretty elaborate scheme against you, okay?
Now in in saying these words, there's a couple of things that come forward. Just because you said a dream.
And that dream is even hard to interpret, right? It's not an easy dream to interpret. Clearly, his brothers don't know how to interpret dreams. So even if he tells them the dream, he might not know what it means. So why is it that they would hear this dream? I said, we got to get this kid.
Why would that be? This is actually a pretty insightful way of the Quran telling us that there are some people who are psychologically so insecure, they're so on the edge, that they may not even understand what you've said to them what you've shared with them. But if there's even the slightest hint that in what you shared with them, there is something praiseworthy of you, some good came to you, such that was done towards you, or because of you. If that much is there, even if they don't get it,
they're gonna go crazy. They're just on the edge. They're just waiting to hear something to snap. And their dad knows they're on the edge. He understands they're on the inner kid, we know that a kid will say something to his brothers and not think twice about it actually, even adults, we don't think twice about it. In this ayah, we are learning to be conscious, intelligent, have emotional intelligence, and be conscious of the people around us, especially even within our family who are on the verge of snapping, they're holding on by a thread, don't say a word. Forget seeing all of it, don't even give a hint that you're happy, or something good came your way because they don't want to
hear you be happy, or some good coming your way that is going to be enough for them and they are going to be capable of very bad. The other thing that we're learning in this ayah is yes, family is something we have to be close to, we have to love. And there are so many teachings in our religion that we have to be, we have to have a bond with family and be forgiving with family and, you know, close to family. And yet the Quran is also telling us sometimes family can be pretty damaging. And we can be pretty harmful. And when they are you have to be careful. And you have to you have to have the sense to know that you need to keep a distance Koran is not calling you to fight with your
family. But the Quran is also not asking you to be naive. It's not idealistic, just be good to your brother, no matter what they do to you. No, no, don't tell them stuff. Sometimes, you know, your brother has a major temper problem. Your uncle has a serious issue. And you feel guilty that you're not opening up to them, even though their family actually a quad is relieving you of that. And it's saying no, you have to be sensible. And you have to know that some people even within your family just don't have the best intentions for you. And they're not capable of having a healthy relationship. And when they're not capable of healthy having a healthy relationship, and you're
taking steps back. You're not the one that's supposed to be held accountable. You're supposed to take your precaution. He didn't say don't trust your brothers or, you know, don't do this or that. And that's the next thing that I want to bring to your attention is what when he did tell his son this, he says that duck sauce in the Arabic language, you can say that acusa don't narrate that taco. See, don't marry latok sauce is the most elaborate clearly spelled out way. When you're going to tell a child to take precaution, you should spell it out. You should not speak in code. We should be clear and communicating. Listen, I need you to be clear. Don't tell any of this to your brothers.
Because they will and he didn't just say why not Dad? Why shouldn't I tell him? Well, just don't tell him just trust me, okay?
Or the invite. He didn't sugarcoat it. They might not like it or, I don't know, they might get confused. He didn't sugarcoat it. He was actually clear in communicating they will make a scheme against you or scheme against you. Why would you tell a child is this like, isn't that true? traumatic maybe we should kind of hold back and kind of maybe gloss it over a little bit and hold the truth back No. No even for children. It's good tip. And by the way, it's not like he told him in a hurtful or harsh or angry way. Because the I began Yeah, Buddha. Yeah, my beloved child, my little boy. It's like this hug and is holding
If you don't understand something, don't tell your brothers this, because they will make a plan against you. Okay? Just Just don't tell them Trust me. Okay, dad, he gets it. You can't hide family problems from your children, you have to prepare them for them. When you shield them from it, they they have the sense to see it anywhere on their own. They have the sense, they would rather be able to have an open channel of communication with you. So they can talk about those family problems. pretending that everything is perfect doesn't help them. It just creates a block and they just know we don't talk about that stuff. And they keep it pent up inside and it makes things worse. It just
makes things worse. And so in just this one little phrase, we're learning so much about how we're supposed to communicate with our children, and how we're supposed to deal with sometimes harsh realities in our families. May Allah azza wa jal help our family situations, and especially make us the parents and the elders in our families good at communicating in a healthy, clear and transparent way with our children. barakallahu li walakum wa salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakato
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