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How the Quran teaches us what to do #05 Be Gentle Even When It Hurts

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah. So here's part five, be gentle even when it hurts. And for this, we want to go to sort of Baja soda has one of the most detailed descriptions of conversation and altercation between fitter and musante. He said, Now I want to jump directly to today's verse in sha Allah hotel, which is verse number 44. This particular verse is not only one of my favorite verses, but it's also one of the most difficult verses for me to practice. One of the most difficult verses and the reason why is this verse is calling us to be nice to people who, at least according to us, don't deserve it. Now musar they said

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him and his brother how Boone, he said,

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they are given the task to go and confront shutdown. Now remember, this is a man who called himself a lot. This is a man who tortured people who kill babies who tortured women. Now, we meaning musar, the semmens brothers are told now by a law to go to fit around and confront him. So what would you do in this scenario? I mean, this is a man that probably took the lives of your own family of your own children. And now you have to go and confront this man. Okay, fine. Maybe we can come to grips with the idea that I need to go and confront him, I need to talk to him, I need this to figure out why is he doing what is he what what he's doing. But then Allah subhanaw taala gives us some rules.

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So listen to this, for color level cola lay in a low level yet that Cal OSHA, you both. So here's the first lesson behind this a number one, Allah is speaking to both musante salaam and Houghton. And he's telling both of them, not just one. Because often what happens when you confront somebody who doesn't deserve to be treated nicely or kindly. Even if there's multiple people that's confronting that individual, you'll always have one or two individuals that are going off, you know, throwing shoes at each other screaming and shouting, but then you'll have a few in the middle saying, guys Calm down, let's just try to talk. So there's a mixture of emotions battling whatever

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issue is there. Allah is saying that the first lesson is, if you're going to confront fit around, you both have to be on the same page, you both have to be civilized. And you've got to keep your emotions under control. Why Allah is going to tell us why a little bit later. So that's the first lesson is that Moosa and his brother have to be on the same page, when they're going to go and confront fear around, what's the benefit for you and I, whenever you have to confront somebody in your life that has done so much wrong and has hurt you in so many ways, it's really difficult for you to keep yourself composed, especially all of the frustration, the hurt, the loss, the emotions

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that are attached to whatever issue you've gone through, it's very difficult for you to be able to keep yourself together and confront that person and be nice, you want to say something you want to at least lash out, you want to, you know, hurt them in a similar way. I mean, it's a human thing at the end of the day that we all feel this way. But just because we feel like doing something, or we have a desire to do something, doesn't necessarily give us the right to act upon those feelings. And so we're learning in this area that there is going to be times when you will have to confront the worst scenario. But keep yourself together, keep yourself together. You know, until this day,

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working as a chaplain with the Toronto Police Service is one of the best, I guess you could say challenges that have ever took on in my life. But it certainly comes with challenges. It certainly comes with confronting people just in general, in the community, in the public, and so on, that just don't like what you do, for whatever reason, you know, they just don't want you to be in that position, but somebody else, and I learned from this that they know at the end of the day, you really can't make every single person happy that there's always going to be people out there that will have their own preconceived idea of how you should live and what you should be doing, what your

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energy should be focused on. But you still got to keep yourself together. You have to keep yourself composed. No matter if somebody is uttering racial slurs or insults to you. You got to keep yourself composed why it's going to come in the A inshallah sofa hula level. So they're saying that make sure that you do this with fit or not fit on security, not fit on staff, not fit arms, followers or supporters. It's got to be directly to the tyrant himself. Okay, fine. We got the message and we got to keep ourselves together. Okay, we're gonna take

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Deep breath and we're gonna, we're gonna keep ourselves together. So I want to just do all of you that are listening to stay. Imagine that you are Moosa and how long and we're gonna go now and confront Pharaoh. Okay, so we've got the first part of the area down, keep ourselves together, cool. The hula hoop polar or less polar Kowloon a singular, one word, which means that you can't mess this up, everything you say, has got to be gentle and kind. What's the lesson for us here, as much as it hurts, you have to be able to control this the tongue. So you might want to physically do something, you might want to turn your cheek the other way. And the person standing here, you might not want to

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even make eye contact with them. You might not even want to be seen in person with that individual. So you're just texting you're calling but the point is, when they text you, when they're trying to develop a relationship when they're trying to talk about your issues, text back, don't give the runaround, which is a very common problem with people in general. If we don't like something about somebody, you block them, you turn the phone off, you don't respond to none of their messages, you know, certain scenarios fine. If they're really extreme, maybe you do need to cut off at least the communication for some time. But the point is, it's all about keeping yourself responsible,

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civilized, and dealing with things in a MiG dignified manner. So Allah is saying felt Hola, hola, Hola. Hola, say at least one word, just at least one word, but at least make that one word that you're together. And that you're under control. Now that one word, there's more to this one word. And Allah somehow is going to explain to us why.

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For color level colon lejana. So what is this one word? How does that have to look? How does it sound? How is it? How are you supposed to behave? What are you supposed to say? Allah says that that one word should be legging in late, you know, from legan. Lane means to make something soft and gentle means to work something. So if you have like, a pile of dough, or playdough, and it hardens, but you start working at it to soften it up and eventually becomes softer, and it's easier to handle. So Allah is saying that your speech, if you start off softly, you know, what often happens is that you start off the conversation in a civilized way. But then halfway through the

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conversation, it turns into a shouting match, insulting one another, and so on and so forth. Allah is saying, don't allow yourselves to do this as best as you can. I use that phrase very carefully. Why? Because I know at the end of the day, it's hard, it's not an easy thing to do. So try your very best to keep yourself under control. So sometimes you'll be talking, it's like, sarcastically, you're trying to grind your teeth that you want to say something but you will hold yourself together are you give that look, you know, your eyes start to squint. Or you just say you know what? I think I'm going to stop talking today. I'll see you later and you walk away, you you get yourself out of

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that situation. Whatever it takes. That's all a representation of Lena, those of you who study Arabic, Lena is monsoon so it's got the fat heptane or the 10 ween on it. What that means Now listen to this, it's just absolutely remarkable. That means that the command to Musashi Salim and his brother, Allah is telling them not only do you have to be soft and gentle, but you have to do this constantly. You know, in Arabic, we call this a slifka. It's a it's a it's a name of a description of something. So Allah is saying that whatever you guys are talking about, you musante Sam and your brother have always 100% of the time when you're confronting fit our own. You've got to make sure

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that you're under control. Now, here's the big question. Why? This is a man that doesn't deserve any kindness on the face of this planet. I mean, look how many years later, and his so called legacy or his life, we're still talking about it. You know, it's mentioned in so many parts of the poor end, and there's nothing good mentioned about this man. Yet I'd have to be kind to him. Why? Here's the answer.

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Allah Subhana Allah Thailand knows what's in our hearts. And he knows subhanho wa Taala, the deep down in the heart of fit around. There might be a spot to there. There might be something there that because of your gentleness, and your composure. It could tweak something. It could tweak some change, it could stimulate. Wait a minute, let me start thinking about what really what is it really that I'm doing here?

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I'm killing babies. I'm torturing people, there might be something there that we as human beings can't see, we will never know. And we will just write off the situation that it's fit around. And even if we don't have fit Island today, we have many veterans around the world. But alas, panel dial is saying, You don't know what's in that person's heart. You don't know the power of change and transformation. And I'll give you an example. On Monday, a loved one. This was a man that tried to assassinate the messenger or the histological system before he became Muslim. Where is our model buried today? He is buried beside the same men he tried to assassinate. We don't know how somebody

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his future will be. We don't know that through our acts of kindness. And just an even if we can't be kind, but just keeping ourselves together, we might disagree. And this brings me to a site issue here that generally speaking when Muslims get irritated with one another or we disagree, this area is for every single one of us. Like I could remember. Obviously, not this Ramadan, but the previous ones. I could remember that when families bring their young children to the masjid and they start crying, or a cell phone goes off. I mean, it's to some brothers, it's like the Day of Judgment just suddenly happen unexpectedly in the masjid. You know, they get irritated. I even remember one time I

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was in a Masjid and somebody's phone just literally just started beeping. It wasn't even an actual ringtone, it just beat. But we were all praying, and it continued to beep like somebody was calling. But thankfully, this brother had a ringtone that was just a beep. It's not as distracting as a ringtone. But you know, you could still hear it. And every time the beep went off, you went with the beep, you got out of Salah, and your brain was with that.

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During the solder, during the slot, somebody shouted out, turn off your cell phone, just couldn't believe what I was listening to. And I'm sitting there and I'm praying. And this dude is just shouting to somebody else, he doesn't even know who it is, turn off your cell phone. That's really, really unacceptable. We sorry, not even fit our own is being treated like that. So this area is a real wake up call. And not just a reminder, it's a wake up call for us that when we have to disagree that at least do it in a civilized way. I don't have to agree with everything everybody tells or expects of me. You know, there's a lot of people out there that have their own, again, their own

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preconceived ideas of what people like us, as do I attend as Emacs is, what we should be saying what we should be talking about and so on and so forth. Sure, that's fine. You know, there are certain issues out there that we should all be unified in terms of what we're addressing and what we're talking about. But at the same token just because somebody's energy and time isn't focused on an issue, doesn't mean that you get to go off on them and write them off and say hey, you know, you don't know nothing. You're totally useless. You guys are all you know messed up all the shoe hood emails, you guys are useless. You don't get the you don't have the right to do that. And that's what

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this is all about. Musashi, his son is being told that his brother by Allah subhanaw, taala, you're going against the worst of the worst. But just make sure that every sentence in every word is laying in. It's gentle, and it's soft, even if you disagree just be kind about it. Why? Langer who yet kettle OSHA Allah Allah scholars, this is what we say in Arabic fairly tanaji. It's like an it's like a verb of hope that maybe in sha Allah, perhaps now, let alone here has two meanings, one of two meanings, and then we'll put it to be Rahim Allah, he mentioned in the Tafseer of this alien, that it could be in its disappear and is stiff him. So it could be a question. In other words, maybe

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he either might reflect light level yet that car or wheelchair or he might instill some sense of fear. So it's going to be either this, or either that let's see what happens. So it's there's a question mark at the end, which one is going to lead towards? Or it could also mean either or he's going to lead to one, but only Allah knows which one that could be? He could be like, that he'll start remembering thinking about himself, or he'll develop some sense of fear. Like, I fear Allah. I'm not alone. I've got to stop this. So I know that kettle OSHA, yes, even fit on can you get to that? Can we all share that game, those of you who study Arabic yet, that code is not the same as a

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yet vet Kevin? Yet Ted that cut with the extra letter in the middle yet, that means that he's going to constantly start doing this like there's going to be a process that the wheel is going to start turning and when it starts turning, it's going to come

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Turning. So what it's saying is that through your kindness, the person you're talking to, just because you've kept yourself together, calm, relaxed patient, in the most intense situation, you could actually tap into a part of that individual's heart that would cause them to start. Gosh, I got to really start thinking about what I'm doing here. You know, they'll lose sleep, every time they eat, they'll be thinking about it. When they walk, they're thinking about it. When they're going to bed. They're thinking about it. When they're sitting with their family. They're thinking about the situation yet that it's constant. Oh, we OSHA or they're just afraid yaksha of whom Harsha

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with Allah subhana wa Tada. Like those just if the person that came and confronted them, okay, person that came and confronted them, that person can get through at least they'll be like, you know what, I don't care about what that person said. But man, Allah will really give me you know, a low will really account me for what I'm doing, or what I'm saying. So I need to change. And I need to figure out how to do that and do that quickly. That's called Shia. There's urgency now in it. So to conclude, my brothers and sisters, even fit around we, if we were there at that time, or in the shoes of Musashi Salaam and his brother, look at the instructions we get. So how about when we treat

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each other when we talk to one another as Muslims, and when we're on social media, and when we're commenting on different shoe and different brothers and sisters and their pages, and if we disagree with something, just read some of the comments like we have to sit there and delete and block our own fellow Muslims. Why? It's not because they're evil people, but just men. You don't have to insult me in front of 40,000 people. You didn't have to write those words on my page. It's about sitting there and just keeping yourself composed. We're allowed to disagree, but disagree with etiquettes with gentleness, and at least with some sense of kindness. That's what Allah subhanho wa

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Taala is calling us to do. We don't know what's in somebody's heart. So through your act of kindness, you just never know you might tap into a place that no one will ever see, realize or understand. And only Allah Subhana Allah knows best. So with that being said, may Allah azzawajal keep us all mental loss of power and water Allah, keep us all on the straight path. keep us focused, keep us calm, kind and gentle. May Allah subhanho wa Taala soften our hearts with one another. But even with the people who we think don't deserve any ounce of it, may Allah subhanho wa Taala at least the bare minimum, keep a civilized dignified and composed in the most intense situations

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alone. I mean, that's today's reminder, my brothers and sisters of how the Oregon teaches us how to behave. So I hope you can share this and enjoy it and reflect on it. And I am most importantly, I mean, if you don't share it, I don't care about that. Anyway, so I mean, the most important thing is that those of you who do take the time to listen to this, that it's stimulate some thought and reflection about yourself of how you just continue the journey in life to be the best Muslim that you can be. May Allah subhanaw taala continue to increase all of us just a little Hydra. Take care guys. We'll set our mind equal to love your body