Nadim Bashir – The Fortunate #05 – Controlling Your Anger

			So I'm on a conflict with Catherine
		

			Solano 100. Local beer Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Mohammed wala and he was a big
mind about so inshallah we continue our series, the fortunate series these are the the segments that
we have on every Monday night about the clock and the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam, to be brutally honest, May these things that I do mention here on Monday night are things
that we all have heard. But there's something about our deen is that every single day is an
opportunity for us to come close to Allah subhanho wa taala. And every single day is an opportunity
for us to become a better human being. If every single day we're not working hard and we're not
		

			striving to become better slaves to Allah, and we're not striving to become better human beings,
then we're losing a great focus or we're losing the primary focus of our life to be honest, every
single day we praise the Lord, why do we praise the Lord is so that it's a reminder for us at the
end of the day, that who are we the slaves of We are the slaves of Allah subhanho wa Taala the fact
that we follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam every single day we live by His
life is an example for all of us. That what kind of lifestyle that we need to live by. And in
essence, when we follow the order of Allah subhanho wa Taala and we implement the Sunnah and the
		

			teachings of the province, something in our life, we eventually will become better slaves to Allah.
And not only that, but we become better human beings. Now today, there is one thing I do want to
talk about, which is something that we have a lot of difficulty dealing with. We have a lot of
struggles dealing with and that is controlling our anger. As human beings, Allah subhanho wa Taala
has created something called anger. And you know, one thing about our deen is ALLAH SubhanA what God
did not create a deen that told us that we cannot be naturally or we cannot react naturally. For
example, if someone loses a loved one in their family, of course, they're going to cry. Of course,
		

			they're going to be sad. Allah subhana wa Tada, the province have never said that you cannot cry
over someone who has passed away in your family because that's naturally what we do. What the
problem is, I'm taught us what Allah taught us is that in return, do not say something negative
about Allah subhanho wa Taala do not say something critical about God or God or divine decree, as
many people they do. So there is something in our deen that we can act naturally. But at the same
time, the reaction that comes with that circumstance is where we have to be careful of like, for
example, I'm going to give you a very typical example about this matter. There's a hadith of
		

			Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where a man came to him, and he says, Yarrow, so law, give me
an advice. The Prophet saw someone says lotto dub. That's what he said. And then Robbie says that
this man insisted again, the yellow Swan told me something else. And then the property is some again
insisted Do not get angry. Now, this is what the property is some actually said laptop dub. Now, the
English translation to this is do not get angry. Now I remember I had a person who came to me one
time and he says, that is the Prophet salallahu audio or some telling us something to do? That is
beyond the capacity of any human being, we are going to get angry is who we are at times. But that
		

			is where we need to truly understand the difference in the Arabic language. See, there are two
different words one is one is high yield, going Yeah, ball life, what is right, right is to get
upset when something does not go our way. Or we will get upset or angry. When someone says something
to us, when someone does something to us, we will get angry. But if a person gets angry, and they
show it on their face, and they swallow it up, that's called leave yours and that's called grief.
Like at times, you realize that you're so angry, but you just find a way to walk away, you find a
way to swallow it and move on that's called Viiv badab Love is what Possum is referring to in this
		

			hadith. And he that means Radom in in the Arabic language means that when you get so upset or when
you get angry, and you become emotionally compromised to the extent that you say something that is
inappropriate, or you do something that is inappropriate. So when the Prophet saw some says for that
man above, he's not a saint, don't get angry. What the probability is some is telling that man is
that you have a tendency to get angry and when you get angry, you began to react to your anger. You
may say something to someone that you may regret later on. You may do something
		

			to someone that you may regret later on, and do not fall into that situation. Did the person get
angry? Absolutely. In fact, there's a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that once a
man came, and he was late, and the post some he asked him, Why are you so late? And the man said
that yellow su Allah, I come from a community where we have an imam we have there's a leader, but he
leaves the prayers and when he leaves the prayers, He prolong the prayers. And the sahabi the
Raleigh says that at that time, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam got so angry, that you can
see it on his face, you can see it in his in his in the way he you know, on his the color of his
		

			face. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said that, you know, there are people
like this in the community who prolong the prayers, and they don't realize that they are weak people
behind them. Now, of course, there's a context of this hadith. And please, if I ever prolong my
salad, I hope you don't come back to me using this hadith. There is a context of this hadith, it's
not to be taken for face value, but the point is, that if you I mean here the problem somebody is
getting angry, but the problem some did not once again. Can you get angry? Yes, the problem did show
that he was angry, but you never reacted in ways that people generally react. So this is what we are
		

			talking about today. Now in the Quran and Sunnah Ali Imran Allah subhanho wa Taala has a very
there's a very beautiful passage, Allah subhanho wa Taala he says, was sadly your own inner
mouthfeel within Mira become that a Hastin to the forgiveness of Allah subhanho wa Taala and what
others should you hasten towards? What Jen nuttin Otto do has somewhere to work out or is that?
		

			Allah subhanho wa Taala says that how big is this Jana? It's its capacity or its limits or his size
is as if is like the skies and the earth is like the width of it is like the skies in the earth. And
then Allah says already that this plays Jana has been created for those people who have Toccoa now a
lot of times we always ask what is the sign of a person who has Taqwa. Here in this surah Allah
mentions three people who are classified as those who have Taqwa the very first one is a Lavina,
Yun, Fiona fissa, rah, rah, those who spend in the cost of Allah and times of good in times of bad
in times of prosperity, in times of poverty. The reason why Allah mentioned this is because when a
		

			person is worried about prosperity, and they do have and they are experiencing prosperity, they
don't like to give money away, they like to collect and gain as much as they can. On the other hand,
there are people who are in the state of poverty they cannot get because they're worried about their
financial status. And either way, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, These are the people who spend in
times of prosperity and in times of difficulty, the second one is wild cow, the mean, I love Hawaii.
And I want you to understand that a lot of times Subhanallah, when did we read the translation? The
translation of this is as someone who swallows her anger, that's not what this means, there is
		

			something amazing about this isup see, as I told you, before, that one is right, right, yes or no?
Then what is the holdup a lot of is what the person says, Do not become angry, do not react in a way
physically or verbally, to your anger. But you can get angry, we will get angry. But Allah subhanaw
taala is saying that there is a special type of people, that when they get angry when the cowardly
mean, it means that those who swallow the anger but the word kind of limb here means that you
swallow in such a way that there is no remnants of anger on your face, we are allowed, of course, we
can get angry, we will get angry, we will get upset. But when a person goes these, that when a
		

			person goes the extra mile, when a person does even better, so much so that they even swallow their
anger, that a person does something to someone says something to someone, and he's so upset, but you
cannot even tell from his face that something has happened to him. This is what this is why the
Arabic language is so beautiful. If we understand it, we understand why this these kinds of people
are considered as the people of Taqwa This is what the problem is. This is what Allah subhanaw taala
is saying over here. And then he says well, fina and in us now it's very easy. People get upset,
okay? They take you know, these are people who will have even a higher degree mean that they even
		

			swallow their anger. There is no remnants of that. But a lot of times it remains here, right? Yes or
no? It remains here in the heart. You don't forget the time you don't forget the day you don't
forget the circumstance. It sits there and it eats at you every scene
		

			Good day 10 years later, your school you still gotta remember it. Allah subhana wa Tada says, well,
fina on in us, those are the people who forgive. And the word Allah Fein is a same word that we have
heard before a lot of food. You know, we talked about Allah subhanaw taala, being awful, like the
DUA that we always or we would recite often in the month of Ramadan. Allahumma indica are for one to
herbal alpha one and ni, or Anna, that are full means that to forgive, and not just forgive, but you
completely eliminate it from your system mean that now of course, someone may say, Well, we cannot
eliminate it from our system. Yes, you cannot sometimes eliminate from your system. Like for
		

			example, in the case of washi why she killed her uncle, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, and
the person was very upset about that. But did the person hold that against him? And he never held
that against him. The only thing he told washy was that when you come to my gatherings, please don't
sit in front of me. Not that because I don't like your anything but every single time I see you, I
remember my uncle. I don't want to go through that experience. Because I promise I'll send them he
came to the body of His own uncle and his body was mutilated, that was something that was in the
minds of prophesized Salam. But the problem never hold that against him. When he came when why she
		

			came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he says,
		

			he says that in Allah Allah yofoto Like Allah said in Allah Allah Pharaoh and you should Lockerbie
Well, Pharaoh Medina Valley, kleemann, Yeshua, the that was she said that well, Allah subhanaw taala
is the one who is going to forgive. But here in this ayah Allah says that he will forgive only what
he wants, what if Allah does not want to forgive me? Now in that same sin in that same situation,
the problem never pushed him away. But the problem always in everything to bring him closer at the
end of the day, that's what you call awful at the end of the day that you are forgiving and you let
it you let it you let it go completely. The next idea is an ayah from Surah.
		

			from Surah facilite, Allah subhanho wa Taala He says, When a tester will harass an ATO when I say
that evil repel evil by a good deed which is better.
		

			If our ability here axon, and there upon the one whom between you and him is eminent he will become
will become as though he is a devoted friend, meaning that Allah subhanaw taala is saying that you
cannot repel the evil with something that is good someone does something bad to you do something
good. In the past, if you remember something that hadith of the Prophet saw some I talked about or I
read about relatives in family members when they when when the man came to the Prophet sentiment, he
says that I have family members who do bad to me what should I do with the problem said be good but
be good to them in return. So this is what the problem was. This is what Allah subhanaw is saying is
		

			repelled the evil was something that is good. And when you do this, eventually the person who is the
perpetrator, they will become a devout friend, but Allah subhanho wa Taala also says, this thing is
not easy. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Well, now you will call her in the Latina Sabado. The only
people who can do this are those people who have suffered in their life. So this is why it is very,
very important that when we come to those kinds of situations, always learn from the teachings of
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and once again, there is never goat in the goal and study
the entire life of the prophet saw some never did the Prophet son become a victim of his own anger.
		

			Never did Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam react in ways that you and I we would react, the
person will never react in a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam because everything is
based on the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet it is sound, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam he says, Man men, Jarrah tin of Iran in the law, he manger RTV Lin cover Maha I will I was
doing EBT our Hila the Prophet sallallahu sallam said there is no gulp meaning that there is nothing
that brings you greater reward with Allah subhanho wa Taala than to swallow your anger. And here
again, the problem is I'm going to use the word Viiv meaning that even that anger that you and I we
		

			experienced to swallow that this is a great reward in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala. And next
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says Leisha Lisa should either be surah in a machete the
lady Yummly kanessa, who are in the Lada, a man, a lot of times when we talk about strength, we
talked about strength from a physical sense, a person who can bench 300 350 That's a strong person,
but the Prophet saw some tells us that who is truly a stronger person. He says that the person the
strong person is not the person who is good or wrestling, and a person who has physical strength.
But the person who's strong is the one who can control themselves when they get angry. Because once
		

			again, when you and I when we become emotionally compromised, a lot of times
		

			We say things Subhan Allah, you know how many times people they come? Women they come and they
explain and they say about the things that their husband says at times and how many times has it
happened that, you know, we don't realize that when we get angry, there is nothing that we should do
or say at that time we learn from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that when he would get
angry, he would sit down. If there was another person, that person will just ignore them, ignore
them Allah subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran himself, were either hot or humid Jaya he didn't
wanna follow salaam, whenever you come across an ignorant person just simply said somebody come and
		

			move on. In the case of photography, Allah that is one of his close people. He brought his uncle to
move in a couple Rhodiola time. And when this man came, instead of showing respect to Alma Mahapatra
Yola, and he began to criticize him. He began to you know, critique, and he began to criticize his
style of leadership and he began to complain about certain things. And Omaha Paul got angry, but
Subhanallah this was a difference between the Sahaba and us. When the ayat of the Quran were
recited, they would calm down right away, when the ayat of the Quran were recited, they realize that
first comes Allah first comes a prophet that Salam then comes our emotions. And this man who used to
		

			be one of the key members of the gathering of Omaha, he reminded him, he says, holding the alpha,
one more below, what are the Elijah Helene. And there's a very amazing lesson and this also is that
even even people and leaders, leaders too can get upset. Leaders can get upset. A lot of times we
think and I'm even though I'm saying this before even being in the position of the Imam, but there
are a lot of times that we think that people have religiosity, people of religiosity or humans being
at the end of the day, they can get angry, they can get upset too. And so at the end of the day,
when a person like Bob, who is a mean, what we mean he's not just a hobby at that time, he is a
		

			menial, menial. He is reminded of the Quran and right away he realizes his position, he realizes
that at the end of the day, there's nothing that comes before the Ayat of Allah subhanho wa taala.
And the Quran says, Who the Lofa what more bill or what are the Angeline right away over Hatha was
able to compose himself. So this is why it is so important that we understand these things. And yes,
we are human beings at the end of the day will law he each one of us here, each one of us here, we
are sometimes going to become victims of our anger. Sometimes we're going to we're going to react in
ways that we're not going to be very proud of later on. But it's important that we understand if
		

			something has happened in the past. We learn from our mistakes. Now let me show you something. Let
me share with you something if something else. Imagine you're walking here in the masjid, just
imagine, imagine you have a jacket on someone comes and they want to * that jacket off. Just
imagine you're walking. And let's say you cover salted Fajr now, a lot of times the southern Fajr
people are cranky, you know, people just walk up, you know, they don't like anyone to be messing
with them and so forth. Now, imagine that person just came to you and there's something that you
have and they're just yanking it off. And no one will lose their cool. Anyone will lose their
		

			temper. The Prophet sallallahu says I'm listening this hadith and that's what the Allah ani
reported. I was once walking with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who was wearing a nudge
Irani cloak with a very thick border, okay, meaning that the NSA is explaining how expensive and
what a quality of a cloak he was wearing. This is what he's trying to explain. He then says when a
Bedouin happened to meet him, a Bedouin man came forward, he took hold of the side of his cloak, and
he drew it violently mean that he yanked it from the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. I noticed
that that violence
		

			in that the fact that he pulled us so much, it caused a bruise on the neck of the Prophet sallallahu
alayhi wasallam Now imagine if that happened to one of us are I'm going to sue you. That's the first
thing that happens to us. I'm gonna sue you, and how dare you mess with me? How dare you do
something to me and so forth. It becomes a big issue. Now. Yes, each one of us were human beings, it
may happen to us too. But at the end of the day, this is why we study the life of the prophet saw
some to understand what kind of a man he was. And this was on him says, The Bedouin said, oh
Muhammad give me give me out of Allah's well that you possess. Now first of all, is that how much of
		

			the problem I don't have any way is only the person was a very well off person. It's not as if the
person possessed so much of this dunya that the person was walking around and he's showing off what
he has this
		

			This is something that someone came and gave the Prophets of Salaam. He's wearing it. And now this
man is saying he's actually saying something where he's under the assumption that a problem Someone
has so much and he's saying, Give me out of that which give me something for the sake of Allah out
of what He has given you. Now, there's so many things wrong with what this Bedouin Bedouin man has
done yet what did the person do? The process of them turned to him. And in the row he says, he says
full taffeta. Elaine, he turned to him for Vika. And he smiled he smiled thumb Amara Allah who will
be our PA so haha
		

			I mean, may Allah Subhana Allah give us a bit to do something like this. It's so difficult the
problem then says first of all, he turned towards him. It's not like okay go give to him like that.
He turned towards him, showed him a dub took it off, gave it to him in like, okay, you know, like
that, put a smile on his face. And then he ordered that person to take a he ordered for this quote
to be given to that person. This is the clock of the Prophet sallallahu it was. It is not easy, but
this is why we learn the Hadith and the the Sierra and the prophets. We learned about the Prophet
sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. On another note. We also learned from Ahmed from Albuquerque, Allah
		

			Tala on one time, Albuquerque Viola time he came he was there was a man that came he was I mean, I
mean, let me at this time, and there was a man that he was really upset with. Now there was another
man who was sitting in the gathering. He was one of the, the, the the shooter members, I will say,
of obika, from the ALLAH and he says that, should I take care of this person for you? Oh, Booker,
just give me the order. I'll take care of this person. And oh, Booker, took him to the side. He took
him to the site. And he says that if I were to tell you to do something, would you do it? And he
says, Yes. And he says, No.
		

			This is not who the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was, he was even though I'm angry at this
person, but at the same time, I don't have a right. I don't have a right to take the life of this
innocent man other than he's an innocent man. Yes, I'm upset with him on this. But here Oh Booker,
Athan, he took the opportunity. While he was upset. He saw that there was someone else who was
willing to react on the anger or at work or being upset. And obika took this opportunity to teach
him a lesson. And we learned from this what that we need to teach our kids how to control their
anger. So how about our kids? Our kids, they have so much anger built within them? Well, I don't
		

			know where it comes from, is probably all the sugar that they eat. Okay. But nonetheless, there's so
much anger within our kids, every single small thing, there is anger, every single thing that does
not go their way it is anger. And this is why is very important that you know if you remember the
hope that I gave on Friday that what is it? What is the sign of a proactive Muslim versus a reactive
Muslim? You don't have you seen a Coke can? Have you seen a coke cannon when you shake it so much.
And you open it what happens?
		

			Right? A person who's always upset who's always angry is like that Coke can, okay, he's willing to
explode every single time, the smallest things, the smallest things are going to drive him crazy.
The smallest things are gonna drive him up the wall. This is why is very important that we learn
that there are ways and techniques to control our anger, we need to teach the same thing to our
kids. Also, we learn from the public some that if he was standing up, he would sit down, if he was
sitting down, he would lie down how many times even we learned from psychologist we learned from
counselors that if something like this happens, hold, hold yourself, count to five, take a deep
		

			breath in and out a few times. And you'll be able to calm yourself down. But these are things that
we have to do. We aren't we get so angry very quickly. And then our kids learn that from us also.
And then the smallest things in life, they get upset about every single thing in life, we have to
really teach our kids look at obika. Once again, he took this opportunity to do and teach this
person. He taught this person what is right and what is wrong. So this is why this is a sign of a
proactive muslim to that you don't get angry every single time when something does not go away. Even
if something does not you know what one is that something goes against you that's going to make you
		

			upset. But when there are things that that are going to genuinely make you upset too. At that time,
we have to learn how to at times move on. For example, if there's something that makes you angry,
then we have to realize that walking away from that situation at that moment might be the best thing
to say our old bIllahi min ash shaytaan Rajim there was a man sitting in the company the Prophet
sallallahu sallam, and he was so upset. He was so so angry you can see on his face. The Prophet SAW
Selim said that shall I tell you of something that If this man were to read it will help them calm
down his anger? He says he should read our ultimate language on our team because she found does us
		

			aqui that when we get angry shaitan comes to us at that same time, and he makes us and he tries his
best to makes us do things to make us do things that we will regret later on and there's no way we
can turn back from that. So this is why it's very important that we learn from the Sierra the
Prophet SAW Selim, we learn from the Sunnah of the Prophet Sal Salah, we learn from the ayat of the
Quran, every time we get angry, upset. Let's try to control ourselves. It's all of us, including
myself is for all of us. This is something that no one is excluded from we all are guilty of this in
various points of our life. But if we hear these over and over again, Inshallah, it will help us
		

			next time to control ourselves. And not only that, but once again, as I talked about being a
reactive Muslim and proactive Muslim, a proactive Muslim when things do not go your way, you know,
what a, what a proactive Muslim does what we learn from the prophets of Salaam, he finds solutions,
you can get angry and you can keep on crying, you can keep on you know, punching the wall as much as
you want. It's not going to change, it's not going to change anything. Well that if something makes
you upset, go ahead and punch the wall, make a big hole in the wall, put a dent in the wall. You
know, it's not going to make any difference but to find a solution to the problem, to walk away to
		

			find ways and alternatives to calm yourself down. That will benefit all of us insha Allah ask ALLAH
SubhanA wa Tada to give us the ability to control ourselves we ask Allah subhanaw Without to give us
ability to react in a way that we have seen from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Allah
subhanaw taala grant us the character and the clock of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I
mean there's like moolah here. Subhanak Allahumma Abrahamic national Allah Allah in the internet
stuff yokomoto Really Zachman Allah feta Samadhi