The Fortunate #05 – Controlling Your Anger

Nadim Bashir


Channel: Nadim Bashir


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The importance of following Prophet's teachings and avoiding negative comments is discussed, as well as the use of Arabic language in various aspects of behavior, including anger and desire. The importance of forgiveness and learning from past experiences is emphasized, along with the need to practice healthy behavior and not apologize for things. The importance of teaching children to use negative language and finding ways to calm one's anger is also emphasized.

Transcript ©

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So I'm on a conflict with Catherine

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Solano 100. Local beer Alameen wa Salatu was Salam ala Rasulillah Mohammed wala and he was a big mind about so inshallah we continue our series, the fortunate series these are the the segments that we have on every Monday night about the clock and the character of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to be brutally honest, May these things that I do mention here on Monday night are things that we all have heard. But there's something about our deen is that every single day is an opportunity for us to come close to Allah subhanho wa taala. And every single day is an opportunity for us to become a better human being. If every single day we're not working hard and we're not

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striving to become better slaves to Allah, and we're not striving to become better human beings, then we're losing a great focus or we're losing the primary focus of our life to be honest, every single day we praise the Lord, why do we praise the Lord is so that it's a reminder for us at the end of the day, that who are we the slaves of We are the slaves of Allah subhanho wa Taala the fact that we follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam every single day we live by His life is an example for all of us. That what kind of lifestyle that we need to live by. And in essence, when we follow the order of Allah subhanho wa Taala and we implement the Sunnah and the

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teachings of the province, something in our life, we eventually will become better slaves to Allah. And not only that, but we become better human beings. Now today, there is one thing I do want to talk about, which is something that we have a lot of difficulty dealing with. We have a lot of struggles dealing with and that is controlling our anger. As human beings, Allah subhanho wa Taala has created something called anger. And you know, one thing about our deen is ALLAH SubhanA what God did not create a deen that told us that we cannot be naturally or we cannot react naturally. For example, if someone loses a loved one in their family, of course, they're going to cry. Of course,

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they're going to be sad. Allah subhana wa Tada, the province have never said that you cannot cry over someone who has passed away in your family because that's naturally what we do. What the problem is, I'm taught us what Allah taught us is that in return, do not say something negative about Allah subhanho wa Taala do not say something critical about God or God or divine decree, as many people they do. So there is something in our deen that we can act naturally. But at the same time, the reaction that comes with that circumstance is where we have to be careful of like, for example, I'm going to give you a very typical example about this matter. There's a hadith of

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Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where a man came to him, and he says, Yarrow, so law, give me an advice. The Prophet saw someone says lotto dub. That's what he said. And then Robbie says that this man insisted again, the yellow Swan told me something else. And then the property is some again insisted Do not get angry. Now, this is what the property is some actually said laptop dub. Now, the English translation to this is do not get angry. Now I remember I had a person who came to me one time and he says, that is the Prophet salallahu audio or some telling us something to do? That is beyond the capacity of any human being, we are going to get angry is who we are at times. But that

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is where we need to truly understand the difference in the Arabic language. See, there are two different words one is one is high yield, going Yeah, ball life, what is right, right is to get upset when something does not go our way. Or we will get upset or angry. When someone says something to us, when someone does something to us, we will get angry. But if a person gets angry, and they show it on their face, and they swallow it up, that's called leave yours and that's called grief. Like at times, you realize that you're so angry, but you just find a way to walk away, you find a way to swallow it and move on that's called Viiv badab Love is what Possum is referring to in this

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hadith. And he that means Radom in in the Arabic language means that when you get so upset or when you get angry, and you become emotionally compromised to the extent that you say something that is inappropriate, or you do something that is inappropriate. So when the Prophet saw some says for that man above, he's not a saint, don't get angry. What the probability is some is telling that man is that you have a tendency to get angry and when you get angry, you began to react to your anger. You may say something to someone that you may regret later on. You may do something

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to someone that you may regret later on, and do not fall into that situation. Did the person get angry? Absolutely. In fact, there's a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that once a man came, and he was late, and the post some he asked him, Why are you so late? And the man said that yellow su Allah, I come from a community where we have an imam we have there's a leader, but he leaves the prayers and when he leaves the prayers, He prolong the prayers. And the sahabi the Raleigh says that at that time, Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam got so angry, that you can see it on his face, you can see it in his in his in the way he you know, on his the color of his

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face. And then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said that, you know, there are people like this in the community who prolong the prayers, and they don't realize that they are weak people behind them. Now, of course, there's a context of this hadith. And please, if I ever prolong my salad, I hope you don't come back to me using this hadith. There is a context of this hadith, it's not to be taken for face value, but the point is, that if you I mean here the problem somebody is getting angry, but the problem some did not once again. Can you get angry? Yes, the problem did show that he was angry, but you never reacted in ways that people generally react. So this is what we are

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talking about today. Now in the Quran and Sunnah Ali Imran Allah subhanho wa Taala has a very there's a very beautiful passage, Allah subhanho wa Taala he says, was sadly your own inner mouthfeel within Mira become that a Hastin to the forgiveness of Allah subhanho wa Taala and what others should you hasten towards? What Jen nuttin Otto do has somewhere to work out or is that?

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Allah subhanho wa Taala says that how big is this Jana? It's its capacity or its limits or his size is as if is like the skies and the earth is like the width of it is like the skies in the earth. And then Allah says already that this plays Jana has been created for those people who have Toccoa now a lot of times we always ask what is the sign of a person who has Taqwa. Here in this surah Allah mentions three people who are classified as those who have Taqwa the very first one is a Lavina, Yun, Fiona fissa, rah, rah, those who spend in the cost of Allah and times of good in times of bad in times of prosperity, in times of poverty. The reason why Allah mentioned this is because when a

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person is worried about prosperity, and they do have and they are experiencing prosperity, they don't like to give money away, they like to collect and gain as much as they can. On the other hand, there are people who are in the state of poverty they cannot get because they're worried about their financial status. And either way, Allah subhanho wa Taala says, These are the people who spend in times of prosperity and in times of difficulty, the second one is wild cow, the mean, I love Hawaii. And I want you to understand that a lot of times Subhanallah, when did we read the translation? The translation of this is as someone who swallows her anger, that's not what this means, there is

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something amazing about this isup see, as I told you, before, that one is right, right, yes or no? Then what is the holdup a lot of is what the person says, Do not become angry, do not react in a way physically or verbally, to your anger. But you can get angry, we will get angry. But Allah subhanaw taala is saying that there is a special type of people, that when they get angry when the cowardly mean, it means that those who swallow the anger but the word kind of limb here means that you swallow in such a way that there is no remnants of anger on your face, we are allowed, of course, we can get angry, we will get angry, we will get upset. But when a person goes these, that when a

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person goes the extra mile, when a person does even better, so much so that they even swallow their anger, that a person does something to someone says something to someone, and he's so upset, but you cannot even tell from his face that something has happened to him. This is what this is why the Arabic language is so beautiful. If we understand it, we understand why this these kinds of people are considered as the people of Taqwa This is what the problem is. This is what Allah subhanaw taala is saying over here. And then he says well, fina and in us now it's very easy. People get upset, okay? They take you know, these are people who will have even a higher degree mean that they even

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swallow their anger. There is no remnants of that. But a lot of times it remains here, right? Yes or no? It remains here in the heart. You don't forget the time you don't forget the day you don't forget the circumstance. It sits there and it eats at you every scene

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Good day 10 years later, your school you still gotta remember it. Allah subhana wa Tada says, well, fina on in us, those are the people who forgive. And the word Allah Fein is a same word that we have heard before a lot of food. You know, we talked about Allah subhanaw taala, being awful, like the DUA that we always or we would recite often in the month of Ramadan. Allahumma indica are for one to herbal alpha one and ni, or Anna, that are full means that to forgive, and not just forgive, but you completely eliminate it from your system mean that now of course, someone may say, Well, we cannot eliminate it from our system. Yes, you cannot sometimes eliminate from your system. Like for

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example, in the case of washi why she killed her uncle, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam, and the person was very upset about that. But did the person hold that against him? And he never held that against him. The only thing he told washy was that when you come to my gatherings, please don't sit in front of me. Not that because I don't like your anything but every single time I see you, I remember my uncle. I don't want to go through that experience. Because I promise I'll send them he came to the body of His own uncle and his body was mutilated, that was something that was in the minds of prophesized Salam. But the problem never hold that against him. When he came when why she

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came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he says,

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he says that in Allah Allah yofoto Like Allah said in Allah Allah Pharaoh and you should Lockerbie Well, Pharaoh Medina Valley, kleemann, Yeshua, the that was she said that well, Allah subhanaw taala is the one who is going to forgive. But here in this ayah Allah says that he will forgive only what he wants, what if Allah does not want to forgive me? Now in that same sin in that same situation, the problem never pushed him away. But the problem always in everything to bring him closer at the end of the day, that's what you call awful at the end of the day that you are forgiving and you let it you let it you let it go completely. The next idea is an ayah from Surah.

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from Surah facilite, Allah subhanho wa Taala He says, When a tester will harass an ATO when I say that evil repel evil by a good deed which is better.

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If our ability here axon, and there upon the one whom between you and him is eminent he will become will become as though he is a devoted friend, meaning that Allah subhanaw taala is saying that you cannot repel the evil with something that is good someone does something bad to you do something good. In the past, if you remember something that hadith of the Prophet saw some I talked about or I read about relatives in family members when they when when the man came to the Prophet sentiment, he says that I have family members who do bad to me what should I do with the problem said be good but be good to them in return. So this is what the problem was. This is what Allah subhanaw is saying is

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repelled the evil was something that is good. And when you do this, eventually the person who is the perpetrator, they will become a devout friend, but Allah subhanho wa Taala also says, this thing is not easy. Allah subhanho wa Taala says, Well, now you will call her in the Latina Sabado. The only people who can do this are those people who have suffered in their life. So this is why it is very, very important that when we come to those kinds of situations, always learn from the teachings of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and once again, there is never goat in the goal and study the entire life of the prophet saw some never did the Prophet son become a victim of his own anger.

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Never did Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam react in ways that you and I we would react, the person will never react in a hadith of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam because everything is based on the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet it is sound, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, Man men, Jarrah tin of Iran in the law, he manger RTV Lin cover Maha I will I was doing EBT our Hila the Prophet sallallahu sallam said there is no gulp meaning that there is nothing that brings you greater reward with Allah subhanho wa Taala than to swallow your anger. And here again, the problem is I'm going to use the word Viiv meaning that even that anger that you and I we

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experienced to swallow that this is a great reward in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa taala. And next the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says Leisha Lisa should either be surah in a machete the lady Yummly kanessa, who are in the Lada, a man, a lot of times when we talk about strength, we talked about strength from a physical sense, a person who can bench 300 350 That's a strong person, but the Prophet saw some tells us that who is truly a stronger person. He says that the person the strong person is not the person who is good or wrestling, and a person who has physical strength. But the person who's strong is the one who can control themselves when they get angry. Because once

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again, when you and I when we become emotionally compromised, a lot of times

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We say things Subhan Allah, you know how many times people they come? Women they come and they explain and they say about the things that their husband says at times and how many times has it happened that, you know, we don't realize that when we get angry, there is nothing that we should do or say at that time we learn from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, that when he would get angry, he would sit down. If there was another person, that person will just ignore them, ignore them Allah subhanho wa Taala says in the Quran himself, were either hot or humid Jaya he didn't wanna follow salaam, whenever you come across an ignorant person just simply said somebody come and

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move on. In the case of photography, Allah that is one of his close people. He brought his uncle to move in a couple Rhodiola time. And when this man came, instead of showing respect to Alma Mahapatra Yola, and he began to criticize him. He began to you know, critique, and he began to criticize his style of leadership and he began to complain about certain things. And Omaha Paul got angry, but Subhanallah this was a difference between the Sahaba and us. When the ayat of the Quran were recited, they would calm down right away, when the ayat of the Quran were recited, they realize that first comes Allah first comes a prophet that Salam then comes our emotions. And this man who used to

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be one of the key members of the gathering of Omaha, he reminded him, he says, holding the alpha, one more below, what are the Elijah Helene. And there's a very amazing lesson and this also is that even even people and leaders, leaders too can get upset. Leaders can get upset. A lot of times we think and I'm even though I'm saying this before even being in the position of the Imam, but there are a lot of times that we think that people have religiosity, people of religiosity or humans being at the end of the day, they can get angry, they can get upset too. And so at the end of the day, when a person like Bob, who is a mean, what we mean he's not just a hobby at that time, he is a

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menial, menial. He is reminded of the Quran and right away he realizes his position, he realizes that at the end of the day, there's nothing that comes before the Ayat of Allah subhanho wa taala. And the Quran says, Who the Lofa what more bill or what are the Angeline right away over Hatha was able to compose himself. So this is why it is so important that we understand these things. And yes, we are human beings at the end of the day will law he each one of us here, each one of us here, we are sometimes going to become victims of our anger. Sometimes we're going to we're going to react in ways that we're not going to be very proud of later on. But it's important that we understand if

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something has happened in the past. We learn from our mistakes. Now let me show you something. Let me share with you something if something else. Imagine you're walking here in the masjid, just imagine, imagine you have a jacket on someone comes and they want to snatch that jacket off. Just imagine you're walking. And let's say you cover salted Fajr now, a lot of times the southern Fajr people are cranky, you know, people just walk up, you know, they don't like anyone to be messing with them and so forth. Now, imagine that person just came to you and there's something that you have and they're just yanking it off. And no one will lose their cool. Anyone will lose their

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temper. The Prophet sallallahu says I'm listening this hadith and that's what the Allah ani reported. I was once walking with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who was wearing a nudge Irani cloak with a very thick border, okay, meaning that the NSA is explaining how expensive and what a quality of a cloak he was wearing. This is what he's trying to explain. He then says when a Bedouin happened to meet him, a Bedouin man came forward, he took hold of the side of his cloak, and he drew it violently mean that he yanked it from the Prophet salAllahu alayhi wasallam. I noticed that that violence

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in that the fact that he pulled us so much, it caused a bruise on the neck of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam Now imagine if that happened to one of us are I'm going to sue you. That's the first thing that happens to us. I'm gonna sue you, and how dare you mess with me? How dare you do something to me and so forth. It becomes a big issue. Now. Yes, each one of us were human beings, it may happen to us too. But at the end of the day, this is why we study the life of the prophet saw some to understand what kind of a man he was. And this was on him says, The Bedouin said, oh Muhammad give me give me out of Allah's well that you possess. Now first of all, is that how much of

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the problem I don't have any way is only the person was a very well off person. It's not as if the person possessed so much of this dunya that the person was walking around and he's showing off what he has this

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This is something that someone came and gave the Prophets of Salaam. He's wearing it. And now this man is saying he's actually saying something where he's under the assumption that a problem Someone has so much and he's saying, Give me out of that which give me something for the sake of Allah out of what He has given you. Now, there's so many things wrong with what this Bedouin Bedouin man has done yet what did the person do? The process of them turned to him. And in the row he says, he says full taffeta. Elaine, he turned to him for Vika. And he smiled he smiled thumb Amara Allah who will be our PA so haha

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I mean, may Allah Subhana Allah give us a bit to do something like this. It's so difficult the problem then says first of all, he turned towards him. It's not like okay go give to him like that. He turned towards him, showed him a dub took it off, gave it to him in like, okay, you know, like that, put a smile on his face. And then he ordered that person to take a he ordered for this quote to be given to that person. This is the clock of the Prophet sallallahu it was. It is not easy, but this is why we learn the Hadith and the the Sierra and the prophets. We learned about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. On another note. We also learned from Ahmed from Albuquerque, Allah

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Tala on one time, Albuquerque Viola time he came he was there was a man that came he was I mean, I mean, let me at this time, and there was a man that he was really upset with. Now there was another man who was sitting in the gathering. He was one of the, the, the the shooter members, I will say, of obika, from the ALLAH and he says that, should I take care of this person for you? Oh, Booker, just give me the order. I'll take care of this person. And oh, Booker, took him to the side. He took him to the site. And he says that if I were to tell you to do something, would you do it? And he says, Yes. And he says, No.

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This is not who the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was, he was even though I'm angry at this person, but at the same time, I don't have a right. I don't have a right to take the life of this innocent man other than he's an innocent man. Yes, I'm upset with him on this. But here Oh Booker, Athan, he took the opportunity. While he was upset. He saw that there was someone else who was willing to react on the anger or at work or being upset. And obika took this opportunity to teach him a lesson. And we learned from this what that we need to teach our kids how to control their anger. So how about our kids? Our kids, they have so much anger built within them? Well, I don't

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know where it comes from, is probably all the sugar that they eat. Okay. But nonetheless, there's so much anger within our kids, every single small thing, there is anger, every single thing that does not go their way it is anger. And this is why is very important that you know if you remember the hope that I gave on Friday that what is it? What is the sign of a proactive Muslim versus a reactive Muslim? You don't have you seen a Coke can? Have you seen a coke cannon when you shake it so much. And you open it what happens?

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Right? A person who's always upset who's always angry is like that Coke can, okay, he's willing to explode every single time, the smallest things, the smallest things are going to drive him crazy. The smallest things are gonna drive him up the wall. This is why is very important that we learn that there are ways and techniques to control our anger, we need to teach the same thing to our kids. Also, we learn from the public some that if he was standing up, he would sit down, if he was sitting down, he would lie down how many times even we learned from psychologist we learned from counselors that if something like this happens, hold, hold yourself, count to five, take a deep

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breath in and out a few times. And you'll be able to calm yourself down. But these are things that we have to do. We aren't we get so angry very quickly. And then our kids learn that from us also. And then the smallest things in life, they get upset about every single thing in life, we have to really teach our kids look at obika. Once again, he took this opportunity to do and teach this person. He taught this person what is right and what is wrong. So this is why this is a sign of a proactive muslim to that you don't get angry every single time when something does not go away. Even if something does not you know what one is that something goes against you that's going to make you

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upset. But when there are things that that are going to genuinely make you upset too. At that time, we have to learn how to at times move on. For example, if there's something that makes you angry, then we have to realize that walking away from that situation at that moment might be the best thing to say our old bIllahi min ash shaytaan Rajim there was a man sitting in the company the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and he was so upset. He was so so angry you can see on his face. The Prophet SAW Selim said that shall I tell you of something that If this man were to read it will help them calm down his anger? He says he should read our ultimate language on our team because she found does us

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aqui that when we get angry shaitan comes to us at that same time, and he makes us and he tries his best to makes us do things to make us do things that we will regret later on and there's no way we can turn back from that. So this is why it's very important that we learn from the Sierra the Prophet SAW Selim, we learn from the Sunnah of the Prophet Sal Salah, we learn from the ayat of the Quran, every time we get angry, upset. Let's try to control ourselves. It's all of us, including myself is for all of us. This is something that no one is excluded from we all are guilty of this in various points of our life. But if we hear these over and over again, Inshallah, it will help us

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next time to control ourselves. And not only that, but once again, as I talked about being a reactive Muslim and proactive Muslim, a proactive Muslim when things do not go your way, you know, what a, what a proactive Muslim does what we learn from the prophets of Salaam, he finds solutions, you can get angry and you can keep on crying, you can keep on you know, punching the wall as much as you want. It's not going to change, it's not going to change anything. Well that if something makes you upset, go ahead and punch the wall, make a big hole in the wall, put a dent in the wall. You know, it's not going to make any difference but to find a solution to the problem, to walk away to

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find ways and alternatives to calm yourself down. That will benefit all of us insha Allah ask ALLAH SubhanA wa Tada to give us the ability to control ourselves we ask Allah subhanaw Without to give us ability to react in a way that we have seen from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and Allah subhanaw taala grant us the character and the clock of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I mean there's like moolah here. Subhanak Allahumma Abrahamic national Allah Allah in the internet stuff yokomoto Really Zachman Allah feta Samadhi