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Quranic verses that change your life #09 Passionate Love Is A Miracle Of Allah

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

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Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Warburg. So today it is Sula Toad room. And it's one of my favorite verses in the entire core and it this is the verse that teaches us how to appreciate marriage how to find happiness and contentment in marriage. But even before all of that, how to develop a relationship that gives us all the things that we search for it meant for marriage. So the passionate love that connection, that mercy that Sakina all that peace and contentment, all the little things that we want before we get married, where does that all come from? And how do we achieve those things and the result and purpose of

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marriage. This is the area that I like to consider or at least look at, this has all the ingredients to make a successful marriage to start the process towards a successful marriage and just appreciate that whole nucleus, that whole framework of Allah subhanho wa Taala when two people want to come together and get married, how that process begins. So let's take a look at this beautiful area and insha Allah, Allah, it's going to change the way you look at relationships, it's going to change the way that you look at marriage. Allah subhanho wa Taala begins in this beautiful sort of woman a tea from the A yet of Allah a tea from him his a yet question here is what is the A of Allah, some of

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the scholars tell us that the word a a twin means miracle. Others say it's an indication, others say it's a sign, it's all of these things. And in this area, Allah subhanho wa Taala is telling us that from amongst his many signs, and amongst his many miracles, and this is really important because we also use the same word to describe a verse or an area of the quarter. And that's because every verse of the Quran is a miracle from Allah subhanho wa Taala. How so keep in mind that miracles are things that are not normal, we don't see a day to day. And when it does happen, it's profound, and it has a life changing impact on us. That's what a miracle is. And so the poor end and every single verse of

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the poor end is a miracle to the student of the sport. And why because if you read it, you read it well in you study it, it's going to change your life. And it's going to have an impact at the level where nothing in this world can compare to Allah subhanho wa Taala starts off the conversation of marriage. And he says, from amongst his many miracles, this is going to be one of them. So what's the first lesson about marriage, it's a miracle from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Now, just imagine, especially those of you who recently gotten married, or are looking to pursue marriage, just imagine, for a moment and think and reflect on the attitude that you have, when you approach this

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the subject of marriage. It's a miracle that two people, their hearts are separated, they come from different families, and they could come from different parts of the world. And Allah will take both of these hearts, and bring them together and make them one. That is a miracle from Allah subhanho wa Taala. It doesn't matter how many gifts you buy, doesn't matter how many things you can do for each other at the end of the day, if you don't have that connection, and that love with that individual if it's not there. And we say this all the time, if I don't have it in my heart, if I'm not in love, if I don't feel that connection, then that person is not for me, that connection, that thing that

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binds these two hearts together, Allah is saying is from amongst his miracle. So it's a miracle that two people can fall in love. And then Allah subhanaw taala continues, and the Hello Carter comin and fusi calm and that he created for you from amongst you. Now listen to the a and hollowcore that he created lukewarm for you men and fusi calm as well. From amongst all of you spouses. The question here now is where else are we going to get spouses from? It's going to come from amongst us, it's going to come from human beings. So it kind of sounds like the a is a bit redundant, right? It's repeating or telling us something we already know. Actually, if you study and look at the a a

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carefully it's how it's telling us and teaching us something that we don't think about as often. Allah subhanho wa Taala is teaching us something here. That's really important for many cultures and families and backgrounds around the world. Allah is saying your spouse will come from amongst you. But Allah is not telling you amongst your own culture amongst your own people know, Allah subhanho wa Taala is telling us here, that it's going to be somebody

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Allah will place his miracle between the two. So it could be that you live in one part of this world, your future spouse will come from a completely different culture, a completely different background from a completely different part of the world. What this teaches us brothers and sisters is the color of our skin, our background, none of these things matter when it comes to choosing a spouse. And this comes into the whole idea of Okay, they're not from my culture, they're not from my background, they're not from my country, they don't speak my language, throw all of that out the window, none of that matters. And what's even more important is that if you allow some of those

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cultural habits to come in front and appreciate what their relationship is about what the intention is about, the two individuals are coming for the sake of Allah, they're coming to complete their half half of their Deen, they're coming to fulfill the message of their Deen, all of those things become trivial, all of those things become secondary, because why? So it's about how they are, it's about which family they come from. It's about their status in society, it's about their beauty, it's about all of these other things. So you end up losing that connection that Wait a minute, this is actually the area of Allah. One more note about how this begins. The fact that Allah attributes

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marriage as one of his miracles, the only way to appreciate that is you have to know who Allah subhanho wa Taala is. So in other words, the starting point to learning and getting to know somebody further with the intention of marriage, is that you have to understand that Allah subhanho wa Taala is in charge of that process. It's not you and it's not the other person. It's Allah I so a gel that's going to allow whether these two hearts come together, and passionate love is developed. And so it's what what that does for a believer is very simple. If the relationship doesn't work out, it's not going to be as difficult to cope with to cope with rejection or to cope with loss, it's not

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going to be that difficult. Why? Because you started off with the intention that everything is from Allah Anyway, when you start off marriage, this way, marriage continues this way, all the issues, all the struggles, all the the the misunderstandings, the conflicts, when you butt heads with one another. All of those things are easily worked out. You can conversate you can communicate, you can counsel, you can work through those issues. Why? Because you understood something that you understood from the very beginning, marriage is from Allah, Allah is in charge of the relationship, Allah decides whether this relationship continues, whether it will continue forever, whether there

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will be an end date to this relationship, even if it will happen. This is why I tell couples this all the time when I'm counseling couples, and especially,

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especially people that are looking for marriage, and they found somebody and they want it to work out. But for whatever reasons, many, many issues are happening and it looks like the relationship or the marriage is not going to happen. I usually tell couples, don't focus on what you're missing out with somebody, but rather understand and focus that what Allah subhanho wa Taala might be protecting you from you have no idea what your relationship could have potentially been like, had you married that person. So stop focusing on what you're missing out and concentrate more on. I don't know what my life would have been like, I don't know what Allah subhana wa tada had in store for me and he

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decided to protect me from that, to shift me towards a different direction to support somebody else, or to continue the journey. And that's what I'm going to do. It just puts things into perspective, it just makes life a little bit easier to cope with. So Allah subhanho wa Taala says woman a tea and Haleakala, cumin and fusi come as well. letus Kunal la her, not leave test schooling, marry her, Allah says, so that you can find peace and Sakina Sakina literally means tranquility, peace, contentment, all of those wonderful things. So Allah says letus cuando la has so that you the husband can live for her. ILA you have not marathon, not with her. So husbands, listen up. What this

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a is teaching us is at the end of the day. Yes, we provide we work we do what we can to make the marriage work. But at the end of the day, you live to ensure that you provide peace and contentment to your wife. So whatever her needs are, you tried to fulfill those needs you try to be a provider, be responsible, be mature, all of the things that are required, so that she feels at the end of the day that her parents don't have to take care of her. She can now depend on you for that sort of thing while she takes care of herself, her family, her kids, etc. Or if she's working, she's working as well. She's helping you out. Whatever the case is the point

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Is that Allah subhanho wa Taala is focusing here on the husband's telling us that you have to ensure that once you fulfill the responsibility of ensuring that everybody is safe is healthy, that you're a provider that you're taking care of your responsibilities, you're doing your protector, all of these things, then all of the pieces of the puzzle start to fit into place and synchronize. And of course, this works both ways. Of course, the wife has got to be there to appreciate that sort of thing to respect it, to understand that, okay, you know, at the end of the day, whether if he's the sole provider, you know, that she continues to support him in that process. If she also works, and

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they also share the bills, they share the responsibilities and that they look out for each other as our messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells us that a true believer is somebody that supports another believer, and if one person feels pain, we all feel that pain. So you work together and you synchronize your efforts as a family. So Allah subhanho wa Taala is saying though, at the end of the day for you, particularly the men ensure that when it comes to peace, contentment, that everybody feels okay you know, income is happening, respond protection is there, we feel that everything is fine. The marriage is working, the family is working, everything is happening well, to the best of

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our ability. She's there, she's supporting, she's doing what she can as well. In sha Allah huhtala Sakina is always there. The test schooner La La Jara. Bina Kuma what the term water Allah placed between the two of them two secret ingredients to any successful marriage, number one, Mohatta passionate love. And number two, which is of course mercy. The first is passionate love, not just love molad that comes from Allah dude, which is one of the names of Allah subhanho wa Taala. He is the source of passionate love. So this goes back to how we begin. Remember, we said, it's not what you and I do or say that causes somebody to fall in love with us, that at the end of the day, that

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love is placed in the hearts of these two individuals from Allah subhanho wa Taala. That's why when people are about to get married, do you ever watch those shows and those movies and you see how the couples have they talked before they get married, he makes me feel a certain way I've never felt before. He says the same thing about her, she touched the part of my heart. I never know what's there. You see those kinds of words and the way that we describe that feeling? That's my word, de passionate, deep love, that no matter what you say, or do, nobody can give it to you. You can develop it and earn it. You can't just do something and then all of a sudden you wake up and oh my

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god, I have passionate love in my head that just arrived in my heart No matter what that is something Allah says what Jad I place that in your heart, that's what I did. And the only way to recognize that is you go back to women a T. So what does this mean in just the practical, practical marriage and in the world, that at the end of the day, those shortcomings, the things that he may not be able to do that you've expected him to do. And vice versa, you've expected certain things from her wasn't fulfilled, for whatever reason, you can easily inshallah overlook those shortcomings. You can forgive and forget, you can look at Okay, the faults of your spouse. And all

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you see, instead of the faults, you see all of his or her strengths. That's what you see, through those faults through those weaknesses. You see the strength, you see all of the effort, that's where your concentration and your energy is on. And this is where the scholars have taught us over and over. This is one of the ways that you counsel through some of the struggles in marriage is you focus on the bright things and and the good things that you still have in the marriage. This is our positivity, being optimistic in the relationship. So the one of the ways to develop that is find the things to be optimistic about. And every single person's married, you can do that. Because if the

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marriage 100% was was bitter, and it was bad in every possible way, then it wouldn't be a marriage anymore. It wouldn't last very long. So it's difficult to even call that a marriage. Maybe on paper, it's a marriage, but in life, it was nothing close. So Allah subhanho wa Taala is saying that the first ingredient I put was that you both had this deep sense of passionate love for each other. And how do you know you have it? You're always willing to look above and beyond each other's weaknesses. Then Allah subhana wa tada helps us to do that by saying I've also given you a rock man. So it's not just the love. So it's not like you

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You say to your spouse, you say, you know, you called me an idiot today. You made fun of me. But I just love you. And so I can forget about the insults. No, that's not my what my kicks in Russian is when you have mercy for your spouse. So yeah, now you don't call the names and you just say, look, you know, I think you're an idiot, but I still love you. You know, I know I called you those things. But I can't live without you. No, no, no, no. Stop watching those movies that tell us to do those sorts of things. And just concentrate that at the end of the day. Those are not things you say to your spouse. So if you're going to cover up the insults, the verbal abuse, the emotional abuse,

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psychological abuse, if you're going to cover those things up with beautiful words me like, well, I still love you, even though I cheated on you seven times. I mean, I didn't my heart didn't cheat on you know, don't even talk like that. Just leave it alone. Allah subhanaw taala says, Have mercy, have mercy for her, you have mercy for him. That's what mercy does. Mercy keeps a marriage under control. And it puts things into perspective. And it gives you rights and gives you strength. I don't deserve to live in this situation anymore. This is what mercy does. It gives you clarity in a situation. So if you feel like you're being verbally abused, or you feel like the marriage is going

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downhill, no matter what you say, or do, it's not working out, he's possessive, he's controlling, or she's possessive she could be controlling to whatever it is, it's just constant clash, or mercy and tolerance and acceptance for one another, helps us to navigate through those issues to see where the problems are. So Allah puts both of these things in together. Sure, the passionate love your best friends, your companions, you're going to start a family together. That's my word that's always there. But those tough times the arguments, the confrontations I can't get along with my in laws, I'm being blamed for everything you're never satisfied. That's where the drama comes in. So these

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two ingredients work hand in hand, in order to make a relationship work. Now the a is going to end the way that it began in Nevada, the killer year till the komiya. de facto and indeed, all of the things that Allah mentioned in this area, are a yet they are miracles of Allah subhanho wa Taala. But the only way you're going to discover those miracles is you have to be somebody that is in constant state of ponder. And reflection. You're always thinking about your marriage. Why did the area restrict itself to yet affect capital and somebody who is constantly in the state of reflection and thinking, because that's what marriage is all about? That's what makes marriage challenging is

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that if you choose not to think about and reflect on how else can I improve myself, improve my marriage, improve my relationship? What is that I haven't done for the past five years, I haven't paid off my mother to my wife in 15 years, it's about time I pay it off. Now, I haven't given her her rights. She hasn't done the same with me. We're always fighting because of our in laws, where we live, what we say what we do. Allah subhana wa tada says, look, as long as the two of you are engaged in reflection and thinking and talking about these issues, that communication is always there, you never go to sleep, when a conversation is undone, an argument is still lingering amongst

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you usually see you're in sleeping in separate beds, or one person's on the floor, you're on the bed, somebody in a separate room, whatever. When those moments happen, your mind is working. Now that's yet to affect code, when you're thinking about what is it that I can do. You don't walk around and just say, you know what, I don't care. Who cares? I live with her or I live with him. He'll get over it. We've been married for 10 years. So what? That's not the attitude to have with a marriage. This isn't a of Allah, nurture it, take care of it. And even if it doesn't work out, and it ends up in divorce, you know, one of these days we're going to talk about divorce like you've

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never heard before, in the sense that the way the poor end teaches us on the subject is just mind boggling in comparison to what people do, and how culture treats marriage, excuse me divorce, and how divorce when you hear it, you're like, Oh, I don't even say that word. Now divorce can actually be a mercy from Allah when it's done right. And it's done with the right reasons, some mercy from Allah. Not all marriages are going to work out. It's not always until death do us part. It's not always that okay, you're my life partner. It's this is it no matter what happens between us, we got to just stick together make it work. No. There's some relationships that just don't work out.

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Divorce is the avenue it's the way out of those situations. But again, with that being said, it's not just something that you toy with you don't just be like, Okay, well, we had our first argument. I didn't make my coffee well enough for you. So, so sorry, divorce, you know, can be done trivially or carelessly can be done in a trivial way or carelessly at the same time.

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important to keep all of these thoughts, all of these factors as we approach this beautiful unit, this relationship of marriage, and it's done, right? It's a massive topic. But this area literally helps us to look at marriage from a completely different perspective, a brand new lens, and to help appreciate some of the things that marriage entails, how it begins, how it continues. And that whole journey that lifetime journey be is the law of how you make a relationship work, whether you've been married for one year, whether you've been married for 50 years, this is speaking to the couple who married for one year, and it's speaking to the couple the exact same way, who's been married for

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much more than that. May Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to add Baraka in our relationships. And again, for those of you listening, if you've been married once, once upon a time, and it didn't work out, just go back to this a, and understand that marriage is from Allah subhanho wa Taala. Just as much as divorces just as much as separation is, but again, separation is a bit more difficult to swallow just because nobody marries so that they can divorce later on. Because if that was the intention, then it wouldn't be a marriage to begin with at least islamically it wouldn't count as a marriage, the intention to live with that person to start a family to stay with that individual is

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all part of the intention of a valid kneecap. So if you're in a situation like that, then certainly there are questions to be answered, there are things to investigate. But the point is, at the end of the day, that unit, Allah says woman, a T, it is one of my miracles. And that love that you feel for that potential or that person or your husband or your wife, less than I put it there alone never gives us anything except that it's gifted to us. And it's something that we should appreciate, and we should love and we should accept. And so that's your spouse. So whoever that person is,

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take the time to show that passionate love and appreciation. And you'll see how this area can literally change your life and change your marriage for the better. May Allah subhanaw taala bless all of you with that. Until we meet again for tomorrow. It's going to be part 10 or Episode 10 of the series. And it'll also be the final episode because Neela because we got lots more to talk about. So we're gonna move on to another subject in shut low teralyst so stay tuned for that and tune in for tomorrow's final episode of Quranic verses that change your life. May Allah subhanho wa Taala bless you all, such as Camilla Hira was said Mr Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh