Life #23 Gender interaction – What’s the limit

Gender interaction,

what is the limit?

This is a very common question and you

might have heard various

answers depending on where you live. So let's

make it very clear and easy Insha'Allah.

When it comes to gender interaction,

talking to the opposite gender or interacting with

them,

the first rule of thumb is that it

is

completely

permissible and okay.

The issue is

to how far does that permissibility

extend? So let's go to the Prophet alaihis

salatu wasalam. In Mecca and Medina throughout his

entire prophethood,

women used to come to him, they would

learn, They would ask questions. They would have

concerns and they would have them addressed

directly from the Prophet alaihis salatu wasallam.

The point here is

there was a need, there was a clear

issue that came from the women, and they

needed an answer or direction from the prophet

alaihis salatu wasalam.

He then would respond to them. He wouldn't

say, look stand this far away from me,

go behind that wall or talk to another

companion,

they will pass on the message to me.

He would speak to them directly and we

have several narrations of that.

But here is the golden rule:

wherever

you are,

whatever culture you live in, here is the

golden rule when it comes to gender interaction:

avoid

fitna.

Avoid putting yourself in a situation where your

iman is tested.

Now that varies from one place to another.

Sometimes our iman can be tested

when there's an unnecessary

conversation that starts. So here you are, you're

sitting, you're talking about a project,

you're talking about a particular event, you're trying

to put ideas together and create this event.

Within the conversation, it goes sideways and you

start talking about life, you start talking about

personal issues.

That's the way you need to be careful.

You don't want to put yourself in a

situation where your iman is now put to

test because all of that could be avoided.

And this is why

Allah says, don't

even come close to Zina. Now I know

Zina is an extreme

situation,

but listen to the Ayah.

Allah says don't get close to it.

What scholars did is they explained that and

what that means

don't get

involved

in the things that ultimately

will lead you to this.

So whether it be an unnecessary

conversation,

an unnecessary

smile,

the point here is

try to keep your interaction

to the point.

You can be respectful,

you can be kind,

smiling is from the sunnah so you don't

have to be this grumpy Muslim that doesn't

want to have any interaction with anybody. You

can certainly have the best etiquettes a Muslim

should have, but at the same time

remember that our deen has parameters.

It has certain rules to follow and it

has certain

limitations.

Keep those limitations

in mind, and again

whenever it becomes confusing

and you're not too sure where to take

the conversation,

where to take the interaction,

remember

I don't want my iman to be tested.

I don't want a situation that involves

any form of fitna. The moment you start

to feel that, you know exactly what to

do. Back away, take some time, have somebody

else get involved,

do the things that you need to do

to protect your iman.

subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for you.

subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for you.