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Ask Musleh – What do I do if my parents don’t approve of a prospective spouse because of culture?

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Musleh Khan

Channel: Musleh Khan

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and welcome to Ask Muslim. This is your brother Mr. Khan? Today's question is really important. A sister is asking that she found a good brother and she wants to get married to him. The only problem is, is that her parents don't approve of this brother, because he's from a different tribe or a different caste. So she's asking for some advice on how to approach this issue. First thing is that I want to give a generic answer and that is where is the status of tribalism, and our cultures and our lineages and backgrounds. Where do all of these stand when it comes to our religion and our relationship with Allah azza wa

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jal, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam clearly, when he came, he eradicated this entire concept of our tribes, one of one tribe being more superior to the others, because this was a problem that was happening during pre Islamic times. And unfortunately, it's still carrying on in some of the tribes in the world today. So that's the first thing, wherever you come from, has nothing to do with in terms of defining your character, as a Muslim and a servant of Allah azza wa jal, and we see this in many stories of the prophets and the messengers or the humans set out. For example, the prophet knew highly, he said, he couldn't even save his own son from the punishment of

00:01:29--> 00:02:15

Allah azza wa jal, and this is his son. In addition to that, he tried to ask Allah azza wa jal to help him his son, and at least have mercy on him and Eliza, which completely responds back to him and says, that he's not even from your family, because his actions were not righteous. So actions is the key and even insulted her gerat Allah azza wa jal tells us like yes, her comb and comb, that nobody should ever believe that their tribe and their culture is more superior to someone else, in terms of trying to make yourself better than everybody else, trying to make your tribe and who you are, where you come from, more greater than all the people around you. This is clearly an attitude

00:02:15--> 00:02:51

that does not belong to the video. So that's the first thing that we want to make sure that we lay down as our foundation in understanding this question. However, the second point that I want to make is specific to the questioner, how do you deal with this issue? Number one, is you need to speak to your parents and be honest with them, and you need to educate your parents. Remember that education when it comes to our Deen does not have any relationship barrier or any age limit, you're perfectly within your rights as a child to advise your parents when something is wrong. So you try to do that try to deal with this as a family issue. So try to get some of your brothers involved or your any of

00:02:51--> 00:03:30

your siblings involved, try to get some of your close uncles or aunts or somebody that you have access to. And keep this as a family issue, to a politely with a courteous manner addressed this issue with your father or the parents. If that doesn't work, then you go to the second stage. And that is that you try to get somebody that your parents will respect somebody, you know, a figure within the local community, any mom or scholar or student of knowledge, somebody that you know, your parents respect this individual, and have them advise your parents in sha Allah, that this is something that they should try to look over. And even the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells

00:03:30--> 00:04:08

us that even though you should consider what what family they come from lineage, and the colors and things like that really are irrelevant. The Hadeeth is referring to the character and the behavior and the reputation of that family, and not necessarily their color, or their habits and their background, etc. So that's extremely important to understand. And my final piece of advice brothers and sisters, for all of us who might be dealing with the same situation is be courteous, be kind, if your parents are the ones that are the ones that are stopping you from doing this, then remember, at the end of the day, they just want good for you as their child, you one day you're gonna become a

00:04:08--> 00:04:33

parent and you might be even more strict with your own children. So just tried to look at it from their light from their perspective, be positive about it, respond to it and address it in a courteous, respectful manner. And insha Allah so Allah subhanho wa Taala to make it easy for you as best as you can, and May Allah azza wa jal do this for all of us. Thanks guys for joining me today was Mr. alikum warahmatu Allahi wa barakato

00:04:50--> 00:04:55

salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and my eye is twitching

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a few my eyes going like this

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It feels like the camera is an eyeball with the pupil right in the center. It's really looks like an eye looking at me.

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It's so funny. I just noticed that it's the first time I can actually see okay, we get to let's go. Let's get to this.

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After understand is that tribalism and culturalism and all of these different concepts have nothing to do with

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us being stuff

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stop