Happiness Guide #3

Muhammad West


Channel: Muhammad West


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Episode Notes


  • What are the fiqh rulings on suicide?
  • What can we do for those with suicidal thoughts?
  • How did the Prophet s.a.w deal with sadness?
  • What is the message to those struggling?
  • What to do when all else fails?
  • What can you do with those suicidal thoughts?


AI: Summary © The negative impact of recent protests on people, including the loss of their loved ones, negatively impacts their mental health and addiction. It's important to treat mental health issues and find a support system for those who have mental health issues. The rise of suicide, including mental health disorders, is a natural disaster and a natural disaster. People should seek help and counseling, and it's important to stay true to oneself. The importance of trusting oneself and not giving up on past mistakes is also emphasized.
Transcript ©
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powerline letendre James Miller man Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad Ali he also has many brothers and sisters in the cinema cinematic Moroccan Mahabharata character.

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Always in forever We begin with the praise and thanks to Allah subhana wa tada and a shadow Allah, Allah, Allah, we declare that none has died of worship besides Allah subhanaw taala. And we send our love our greetings and salutations to beloved Nabil Mohammed Salatu. Salam to his pious and pure family to his companions, and all those who follow his soon until the end of time, may Allah grant us to be amongst them. Meanwhile, hamdulillah before begins panela it would be a mess if I didn't mention what I'm sure most of you many of you have felt if you're if you're awake. Or if you'd like to sleep up. Early morning of Tuesday, just after 12 o'clock, that tremor, I see a lot of Nazi so we

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all felt it, I felt it Subhanallah and what a scary feeling first time in my life that you felt something like that, you know, it wasn't very long, it was only a few seconds. But as that realization comes, first, you confuse what's happening. And when you realize this is an earthquake, and you don't know what's going to happen, you make you panic. And in that moment, you are frozen, and SubhanAllah. It is something that we hope that we never experience again, and we sympathize for those who have been through such kind of calamities, we have been very fortunate for not living through natural disasters and experiencing it a loss. pantalla has been very, very kind to us here

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in this part of the world. We have our problems, but then we begin to realize they are much much bigger problems that other people go through. And on that point, there's an ayah in Surah Surah of thunder, and it's a verse you know, you most of you know the part of the verse, but we don't know the full verse, But Allah says Allahu Akbar, to me mania de amin qualify for Uno. So Allah says in this verse, this is the verse way, Allah says he does not change the condition of a people until they change themselves. And usually the tough seat people say, until you come right, then things will come right actually, if you look at the beginning of the verse, the same verse, Allah says,

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that he has positioned in front of you and behind you a succession of angels to protect you. You're constantly being guarded and protected by the mercy of Allah. And then Allah says, He will not remove this from you this prediction, unless you do something to change, it changes the understanding of this verse. So not that Allah says already I have designated for your prediction. And he says he will never take away a favor from you. Unless you've done something not to take to justify that favor, that Allah says that if he were to sit down a torment upon people, then none can avert that torment. Now Subhanallah this year has been a very difficult time Allah grant make it

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easy for us. And these things are reminders for us. And the reminders are different to tomans different punishments. Allah reminding us remember, there's a shaking, but no one got hurt, no buildings fell down. It was a reminder of a lost control and lost power. And it is for us to wake up and to be better. And we think of the people of never use very special group of people, why they were given something that no other people will given that they disobeyed Allah and they committed so much sin, that the punishment became justified on them, Allah now had, Allah now had declared that they must be destroyed. And it is the decree of Allah that when he sins a punishment on a people,

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that he does not get stopped when you see the other coming, and it came down like the sky is turning a certain color. And it's very clear, the end is coming. When you see that it's over. There's no point now in making mistakes. But the people of the use of the hidden units are the runaway, and he was in the whale making his only stick thought, the people have never Yunus got together the whole city, every single one of them, they left their homes, they got to a certain area, and they all made the stick far collectively. And they were the only people when the other was about to befall them, they could see it, Allah stop. So the point is, even though you're so close to the end, is too far.

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It's always the end, collectively, when we see these collective problems in our community, only collectivistic part for you, for me, all of us to increase a little bit of his default, increase a little bit of South Africa, a little bit of something good. Collectively, Allah subhana wa tada will not remove that prediction that He has given us. I mean,

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we'll be back to our series, the happiness guide and Subhanallah the last couple of weeks, we've been talking about how to attain happiness. And last week we spoke about the inspite of happiness and trying to achieve happiness and fixing things in your life. There are negative thoughts that pervade most of many people's minds, and they can't escape it. It is like a darkness inside of them that no matter how much they earn, no matter how beautiful they are, many friends they have how many parties they go to. They cannot shake this deep emptiness, this black hole that's inside of them. It consumes all the happiness No matter how much they try and how much do they make that darkness

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And I did not want to focus this topic on sadness. But after giving that lecture last week, so many people that look happy on the outside that I know personally smiling, and they say this really hit home, that this is something I'm dealing with my entire life, that I look like I'm a functioning person on the outside. But on the inside, I'm breaking so many people that, you know, it forced me to continue speaking on this and it's behind the ball, we I really hail from where my family comes from. Sadly, in high school last week, to grade 11, pupils committed suicide. And so suicide is something that we never talk about. But it's something that needs to be spoken about.

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Something that we need to talk about, because some people are in such a low place, that they've lost touch with reality. And they find that there is no way out except to leave. And the only answer is to end their life. And so we need to discuss this. During this research, I read a few, many suicide letters, people before they many times before they pass away, they leave a note for the family.

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And it is a devastating thing for any family to lose someone by suicide. And the signs of any people. Most families do not know 99% of the time, there was no indication there was no clue, they would say we just spoke to him or her an hour ago. And he seemed fine. And they were on the verge of committing suicide. Let's look at some of these suicides, some quotes. person says,

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it's so lonely here. I want to sleep. But I just won't come. I'm so tired of hurting and being alone. I keep thinking about the polls in the cupboard. But I'm scared my heart, my head hurts so much from crying. But if I take any of those polls, I'm scared, I won't stop. Another person says everyone seems so happy. Yet I am so alone. You're all better off without me, the world would be better off without me. Dear Mom, I love you with all my heart. I just wasn't meant for this world, I hope I can find a place of peace and happiness. Another person says in the suicide note. I won't kill myself today, as long as someone just smiles at me today. And of course, no one smile at that

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person. And so he or she killed themselves statistically, in terms of numbers.

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It seems that

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for teenagers in South Africa, suicide is the third leading cause of unnatural death. So it's a natural this disease and those kind of things. But one of the leading causes of unnatural death amongst teenagers is suicide. And it is one of those things globally top 10 reasons for people dying. And it's one of those those diseases that is that is increasing exponentially. Year upon year, more and more people are committing suicide in South Africa, it seems that every day, at least 23 people commit kill themselves. And for every person that tries to commit suicide, there is at least 20 people that attempted suicide.

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They took the polls, but they were saved in the last minute while they were on the ledge about to jump and someone got the move. So we have hundreds 1000s of people that if they're not suicide, that they're not have not, you know, gone through with suicide, they're contemplating it and thinking about it every 40 seconds. So in this, maybe a few dozen people would have committed suicide every 60 seconds someone commit suicide. Why? Why do people kill themselves, because it goes against your biology. It is ingrained in a person's biology. If we look at animals that it needs to survive, this is your basic fundamental protocol that you want to survive. You fight to survive, you want to eat,

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it pushes you to survive. So how does your mental reality becomes so low and so dark? That it overrides everything it overrides your religion, it overrides you even your biology, your DNA for you to do this thing. Of course, the most common reason is undiagnosed untreated mental illness. Someone that has had a depression their life had a an anxiety issue. It is very easy with like cancer left untreated, it will consume you. If you do not speak about your mental illness, your depression, your sadness, and you leave it untreated, eventually, it will destroy you because you cannot escape your mind. You cannot run away from your brain. And so if that organ of yours is

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suffering, it needs the treatment and no amount of is different because it will kill you as much as no amount of this different liquid will fix your broken arm trauma as well. So people may not have a inherent mental issue or mental problem. But if they've been through some kind of trauma as a child or an adult, you've experienced abuse, and they are those and we know that abuse is something which we talk with spoken about in our community and it's day you will never move away from that abuse unless you get the help that you deserve. And it is not useful.

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For those that trauma, but it is a way of getting free of that trauma,

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anxiety and depression many times, so most many people suffer from anxiety and depression. And it's so easy for that to lead further, if you don't have an anchor, to get to a point, we want things of suicide, addiction as well, people that are struggling with drug addiction, which is another problem in our community, it is sometimes easier just to let go.

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isolation, there are many people, we see them, we know them, we say hi and bye. But they are genuinely alone. They don't have close family connections. They don't have deep friends. They don't have anyone that can really talk to about the issues of the life. And if you don't have the anchor of a social structure, support base, most people if you look at the suicide notes, they speak about the loneliness. We are we are made vanilla. Evolutionary from a biological standpoint, we are meant to live in a tribe. And if you don't want to take from the psychologists, now we add Emily to Sam. He's in Jana. He has everything. But he's still lonely without our mother. How can you imagine that

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Jana is not even enough, Jana is not a good enough place. If you don't have someone with you. Do we think the dunya we can survive on our own, you cannot live in as a single person, as an isolated person, you need friends and family. And when one feels that there is no way out. And once the darkness consumes you, suicide is usually not something which is the thoughts might have been the but it's a moment of impulse, an impulsive moment, just like someone does a crime out of fashion. Most people who commit suicide It was a moment where it became too much they felt too overwhelmed. The pain became so far, and those who survived the suicide attempt, they will see the minute they

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jumped, or they took their polls, they realize it was a mistake. And it was a moment of extreme weakness and extreme, extreme darkness that overtook them. And they want to be pulled off that ledge they want to be helped. And it could be anyone's panel. It could be in your family and my family. My love protectors. It could be someone that is service fighting their life from an abuse that happened when they were child that we don't know about in the school or in the madrasahs panela at the sports club, the gym. It could be that loner that no one spoke to in the class that never had any friends that maybe you even I bullied. It could be the popular girl that is constantly trying to fit in.

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When it's constantly needing those likes on Facebook to feel to feel beautiful. The person who has gone through so much failure, where they just cannot take one more failure in their life. They cannot take another knock. Because yes, they've struggled in the relationships in their career in the in their life, and they feel I just cannot survive one more knock the person who is successful, the a student who has everything going for them. But the reality of perfection, the weight of perfection is too much. And it's so much easier to quit. And if you really want to know and you want to know how relevant suicide is and it can happen to anyone. This is a hadith is a very

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controversial Hadith that you might not have heard. You know part of it, you know most of it. We know the story of the navy seals on them. When he received revelation. He was going through depression first he was living in the UK he went to the caves alone. And when he found an NGO video came to him we know the story. And he runs to have deja and how deja is some Maloney. Khadija Rajan thanks to our uncle, who says that you will be a prophet after that after that conversation continues in body after that conversation, then Avital Salaam I shall see is that the result Salaam, now he's not sure? Am I a prophet? What is this? Oh, Am I mad, what's going on here? And then the

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silence, no God, no more revelation, what happened in the cave, and he became so sad. Listen to the Hadeeth. But after a few days Walker died, and the divine revelation paused for a while. And the prophets also learned became so sad, as we have heard that he intended several times to throw himself off from the top of the mountain. The newbies also learn the same positive, strong men. When he was unsure of his reality, he contemplated throw himself off the mountain. This is the Prophet sallallahu. So anyone can go through a depression, or a moment that puts you so low, nothing to do with your Emanuel instinct of a person, your situation can overwhelm you so much that you don't you

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lose touch with reality. And the third is continuous. And when the reason would be, you would actually climb up the mountain, and you would be on the edge. And then God would come and say, UI Prophet, basically Wait, Allah subhanaw taala will respond to you, and that would come his his heart panela this could happen to them so seldom, what about you and me?

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So we know from a Sharia perspective

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Have these certain rulings that we need to speak about, we know that it is haram to kill anyone, and of course yourself as well Allah sponsees What are taboo circum and do not kill yourselves in the law cannabic rahima that Allah is always merciful to you do not feel that there is no way out for Allah Mercy is with you at all times. And yes, we do know of the Hadith where a man in the Battle of buddy was a hobby. And in the end in the battle, he committed suicide because he was injured and committed to he hastened his own death. And the prophets of Salaam said that this is a sin, and that he'll be punished for the smeller protect that the person who committed suicide, and you know, they

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will continuously be punished in the way they killed themselves. So if you jumped, you'll continuously be jumping over that. We know this. But at the same time, at the same time, we'll talk more about how we cannot judge someone and is a hadith it's very interesting, perhaps the most profound study that I've read in this discussion, we cannot judge the mercy of Allah. And we remember that a person who commits suicide, instead of Muslim, listed a believer, they deserve a janazah. They deserve a hustle. And for us to make it stiffer, because they made a mistake. As with many of us, we all make mistakes, and how can we judge someone in the lowest darkest place, many of

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them are so

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connected with reality, associated with reality that they are sick. And Allah subhanaw taala has not held anyone accountable, who's so mentally ill, that they cannot they do not realize what they're doing.

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Look at this Hadeeth, which I have never had before. And I'm sure it's had eaten a Muslim.

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Though, see, the tribe is a tribe called dose, the dose doses, right? So one of the famous Sahaba to fail. He's the most famous man that came from a dose of blu ray, it also gave him a dose to fail, or the alarm, he makes hegira. And he and he becomes Muslim in early days. And with him, he brings a friend so to fail, and a friend come from the tribe of dose to Medina, and they become Muslim. And then the prophet SAW them singing back to the tribe to give Dawa, to fail became a very famous hobby. But this other man, this other friend, and we don't know his name, he went into a depression, he became ill he lost everything. And life became so difficult for him. But he actually cut off his

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fingers and he committed suicide.

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But then to fail, had a dream of this man to fail how to dream of this man, and to fail saw this man in a beautiful state.

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He was in a beautiful state and so to fail, asked him what happened. You killed yourself? What are you gonna do to and so this man says to fail, Allah forgave me because of the nature of that I made.

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A lawful gave me because of that good deed that I did. Allah forgave the sin of suicide, but to fail said his hand was covered with a with a comment or something. And so to fix it, what's wrong with your hand. And so the man says, Allah said, that you will not fix that which I, which I myself, just destroyed, and so to fail, woke up, and he told them I'd be so sad. And then I'd be so Salah May Allah forgive him and his hand, and obviously the dog that would be solemn, meaning this man's hand was also restored. So can we really judge a person in the darkest moments and weigh the life of good that they've done with a moment of, of deep sadness? And Allah subhanaw taala, as we said, is the

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one that judges only Allah knows the deepest of the hearts and what's in the minds. This man of course was on Jana, this was in the cover, and Allah subhanho wa Taala forgave him completely for his mistake. And for his hastening you know, the son of it is not so much he's part of Examine yourself and but it's a, a mistrust in Allah subhanaw taala. When we get to that point, where our problems overwhelm us, when life we cannot go on, it is not really our own weakness and giving up on ourselves. We've given up on our last panel, Donna, we have lost that trust laptop, not to mineral Mattila, Allah says, Do not lose hope in Allah subhanaw taala You know, this famous what can we do

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when we are in such a low and deep, dark darkness? We know the idea of time you can talk about it so much, right? What is the end of the head you have no resources that if the man says What must I do with my camel, then abuse is tight. And then put your trust in Allah? part of the answer to depression and sadness and anxiety. Part of it not all of it is tobacco. It's about letting go and putting your trust in Allah subhanaw taala and saying, Yeah, Allah, this problem, this darkness is bigger than me. It will consume me, but you and your mercy is bigger than my problems. And I let go and I put myself in your hands when you know what is best for me. And you will only give me that

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which is based and whatever you put before me is done with color, with destiny and with mercy and this

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What nobody was telling us, man, worry and do that which you can control, you can only control a few things in your life. You can only teach your kids so much at the end of the day, you must let them go out into the deep dark world, the dangerous world. And when they leave, all you can do is make dua and say, yeah, Allah, I leave them in your key, I leave them in your hands, and you are better than me as a protector. But when you are in such a difficult place, for a believer, when all other things have failed, you have Allah subhanaw taala as your anchor, but of course, Allah wants you to tie your camel as well. But no amount of Vicar and Quran and tawakkol is going to help you without

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taking the remedy. And for a person who is going through a depression, or someone who is contemplating thinking about, if you've ever thought in your life, it's better if I would did, or my family would be better off without me. Or I'm alone. You should speak to someone and seek IQ, seek help and counseling, you deserve that. So reach out for help. There's a number of number a number of these a few phone numbers. And yesterday I was on the phone with some of them. And unfortunately, not all very great. But this number I found to be quite good. If you have any confidential counselor qualified people, just give them a phone call. oh eight double 05675670 805 67567 if you're feeling

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in a position in your life, depression, anxiety, which doesn't only mean suicide, but if you're feeling in a very bad place, just make a phone call phone, someone, tell them and they'll need to listen, and they need to help. You can't lose anything from it. You won't lose out. Nothing that happens will make your situation worse. So what can you do as a person who's going in such a low place, nobody's also notices to you as well. Subhan Allah, once a hobby, I believe it's even about his uncle alabaster, famous on a bus. He was old, he was frail. And he said to the visa seller, I have nothing left to look for, make the other I wish that I I just I died I didn't want I don't want

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to live anymore. And the prophets have some says to him, none of you should wish for the because of a calamity that befalls you. But if he does, which would be something, he acknowledges that there are people who really want to leave this world, but there's nothing for them in this world. Life has become so difficult. Look at him he's under he's acknowledging that you feel so when he says but in such a state, he should say, Allah keep me alive, as long as life is better for me. And let me die. If this is better. For me, this is the most you can do is to leave your faith to Allah and say, life and death is in your hands, I will not take from Allah that which belongs to Allah, life. And this

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is the prerogative of last pantalla. And he knows not what I know. Allah knows what I don't know, Allah knows that. Often today in today's darkness, there may be moments of happiness, they may be a new baby in the family, there might be a new connection, there might be a business opportunity, that which feels completely closed, Allah subhanaw taala can open. And as for us, for those of us who never have, if you are listening to this lecture, and you feel I don't really understand what is being said here, I can't relate to Al Hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah, you have never experienced this, that if your mind you feel I cannot imagine how someone ever goes to such a level Alhamdulillah you

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have not been afflicted with this kind of kind of hardship, this kind of darkness. And so what many psychologists are saying why suicide is on the rise, it's because we are still too afraid to talk about it. Yet it's so prevalent, and so have a conversation with your children. People think you might speak about it will start opening up it will become worse. Especially teenage kids, they're going through exams, and this is perhaps the most difficult year in terms of exams. COVID do we think that the fears of COVID the being disconnected from your friends, being away from your class, having exams all on your own does not affect the young person's panela? It affects us as adults

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panela it affects you and me as adults, mature adults. What about our kids in school high school? speak to them and ask them Are you okay? Really? Are you okay? What makes you sad? What makes you happy? speak to them about suicide speak to them about abuse. One of the biggest problems is we too afraid to have these conversations.

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And it will in the stigma. And as I said when it comes to mental illness, we have become very, very, you know, harmful to the victim. We have no patience with them. Whereas with any other illness, we understand that it's not the doings not their fault, not your fault that you have cancer, it's your fault. You have diabetes, it's not your fault. You have depression or anxiety. A person said isolation is a key factor in why we commit we want to commit suicide, the feeling that nobody understands you and your pain. And so encourage people that are going through it

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To get help someone who has a trauma and abuse, someone that has mental illness, encourage them help them to get the help that they they need. And I'll message to anyone that is going through that. And there might be people sitting in the Gema. And we say, we know that you are in pain in that you're struggling, that you're tired of fighting, and that you are exhausted, of acting like you, okay, you're exhausted of smiling, because you cannot take what's your, what's your depression and your anxiety, you also cannot add on to that the judgment of people and the pity of others. And so you fake the smile until it becomes such a burden. You're not willing to get out of bed anymore. It

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might feel easier for you to leave thing to love. It is not your fault that you feel this way. And you're not to be blamed. As we said, Allah brings about sickness in any which way to anyone. It is a test from a loss pan with

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you all but also like every sickness, there's a cure. We believe in the Sharia. every sickness has a cure every ailment as a cue, besides old age, and Allah says you are not stuck in this and these always a way out. No matter how impossible your situation feels right now. There are endless possibilities beyond this. Tomorrow can be anything. The world is a big place. There are millions and millions and billions of people out there that are right that will accept you and love you. And you are not alone. Your family, your community, we are there for you. And if you reach out and you come and speak to us, we will listen. We will understand and we will not judge you and we will be

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the for you. And if we fail and everyone else fails. Remember the unwavering relationship that will never fail you is Allah when everyone has failed you and you have no hope lift. Then you remember you have Allah subhana wa Tada. Allah says, and whoever is conscious of Allah, whoever is connected with Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah who Maharaja, whoever depends on Allah, Allah will make a way out to him. It is a promise of Allah, Allah and Allah only speaks the truth. I will make a way out for you. We are Zuko whom in high school and He will give it is not only mean sustenance, it means health, it means blessings. It means Allah says I will make a way for you mean hateful I act as if from a place

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you could not have imagined. Allah will open a door you did not know existed. And unless is when we get the killer, omega omega Taka, Allah, Allah And whoever puts his trust in Allah and depends on Allah, for Allah, then Allah will be enough for him. Allah subhanho wa Taala will be sufficient, Allah will be everything that you need, Allah will be that kill that you need.

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Allah says and this is the we conclude this is such a beautiful idea. If you're in a depression and anxiety, any difficulty in your life, Allah is a man uwg would look. Is there anyone besides Allah that will answer them with thought of them? We thought it is the desperate person, the person in complete desperation oversees the anyone else that will answer them thought that Darwin he calls out to Allah, well, he actually flew asuw and removes all the hardships in your life other than Allah, and Allah will make you have this dunya and He will give you everything of this world in the next Allah is there anyone else that answers you in your times of deep darkness? besides Allah call out

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to Him? It's a promise. If you feel like that. You incomplete this version. You know the kurush for the idol worshipers. Allah says when they will, they would worship the idols, but when they would be on a ship, and the ship would begin to be in a storm about about to sink, then they would worship Allah, Allah would save them, even though this is not only the Muslim, for muthana anyone Allah sees was in complete desperation. And in that role moment you turn out to Allah, Allah says I will answer I will answer up I'll answer your door to turn to Allah Allah Subhana Allah have mercy upon us forgive us and protect us. Grant is goodness in this dunya and

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just some quick quick announcements and handle our youth paper activated wonderful meeting with them. They are trying to raise funds for next year people going to school to beat stationery. A lot of kids can't afford section is expensive. We all know that. pencils pins breaking material and so they're going to push her again have a few drives now until maybe January February to restate the manifestation and so from next week they're selling acne outside please bring your tuckshop money to the masjid You can also order Shea and you know even if you're not so into acne bite for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala someone's future tell your colleagues at work maybe a big word from work you

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know we can also deliver we will be able to town as well but we'll be standing outside and also they would be tutoring so from Monday to Wednesdays you're in the budget of the answer. If your kids want to tutor your kids one need some help. So these are varsity students so people have finished this velocity will be giving the time to tutor Masha Allah Allah bless them in the futures and studies

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reminder that we are collecting outside the donations. So please, you know

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If you can't attend the machine lit your Sokka also comes up and can detail his name. We also make the offer Buddha Ali Sally here in Long Market Street who had an operation and he's recovering mala grant him and all those who are ill Shiva, Mala. mala grant him to recover. And Allah grant those who have passed away. mofetil last last announcement that we will also be hosting our marriage a final marriage clause for 2020 next week, Sunday anyone who's interested you know, you want to get married, you are married then please let me know. We can have a small workshop because he couldn't so much a Santa Monica Morford law but I go to him