Happiness Guide #2

share this pageShare Page
Muhammad West

Channel: Muhammad West

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:00--> 00:00:12

Are the voluminous shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa Salatu was Salam Maharashtra mousseline Cigna Muhammad Ali he was mine My beloved brothers and sisters in Islam. I said Amati Kumara de la he was about a cattle

00:00:14--> 00:00:50

amin will always it will begin with a praise and thanks of Alanna shadow Allah we have a witness that none has the right of worship besides the law and we send our love and greetings our beloved Nabi Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to spice and pure family to his companions and all those who follow his suit until the end of time. May Allah bless us to be upon the tsunami, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in this life and in this companionship in the era, I mean, when hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah special word of Welcome to our listeners over the radio waves Radio 76 for joining us here at Mercy Brunel Islam. Yes, we are live. So guys, as always say, your life, and

00:00:51--> 00:01:31

Alhamdulillah we started our series as we do here at Majid, Islam, we do things in series, and our job was done in a way in which it continues from one week to the other. Last week, we began a series by the request of the muscle is about the happiness guide, how to live your best life, how to live a fulfilled and happy life. We started that last week, and we spoke about that every single person, Muslims as well, we are all in it for happiness. We want to have a happy life in this life and in the next. But every single one of our six, 7 billion people on earth searching for happiness, that we find it's very elusive. Many people do not live a happy life. Many people seem to have all the

00:01:31--> 00:02:12

ingredients of happiness, but are still unhappy. So why is it so difficult to find happiness? Where do we find it? We sit from psychology, and from the sooner Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, we find that happiness needs to be found internally. And externally. We gave a beautiful Hadith where the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, wealth and success is not about how much you have externally, but it is the richness of the heart, the richness of the soul. So internally, you need to be happy to find happiness. But he also said Salas alum, that to make a happy life, what will make you happy, he said, to have a good marriage, to have a big house to have a nice vehicle or a nice riding

00:02:12--> 00:02:51

instrument, and to have good neighbors, good friends, if you have these four things, you should be happy. And we'll talk about the external happy things in weeks to come insha Allah. But now last week, and this week, we are focusing on how to get our minds correct. Because if your mind is not, if your state of mind is not geared for happiness, then no matter how many how much of external things you have, you will not find happiness. And last week, we spoke about ways in which you can train your mind. Your mind is a muscle, your brain is a muscle, you need to train it if it's not functioning correctly, to rewire your brain and we say physically, by doing these things, your brain

00:02:51--> 00:03:28

actually changes. So think positively think about the good things. Don't think about all the problems in your life. Think about the good things and things you look forward to practice gratitude. And we said that when you start actually writing down your blessings, counting them, you will begin to realize Allah has been very good to you, Allah has been very favorable to you. You think about all the good things in your life, it will make you feel happier, avoid comparing yourself to others, because comparisons leads to unhappiness. And we sit think well of Allah for us and hamdulillah when occupa to the end, we go to Allah, that think well of Allah, especially at your

00:03:28--> 00:03:56

data Hadith we gave, well, that man was on his deathbed. And he knew death was inevitable. And he said, How do you feel? He said, I'm scared, and I'm worried about my sins and all that. But I feel good about Allah, I feel excited to meet Allah. And when you think about that, then no matter how big your problems are, no matter how much you lose, whatever, ultimately your destination is Allah and that will bring you comfort. We also said and Today's focus is on sadness, how do I beat sadness? Because a lot of people say,

00:03:57--> 00:04:38

I can't think about happiness when I'm covered in this cloudiness of depression, of loneliness, of regret, of anxiety, you telling me think happiness, but I can't when I am overcome with my sadness or my grief. And this is something called the negativity bias. We spoke about this last week. So there's a lot about psychology. The psychologists tell us that our brains are better geared at responding to negativity, we take more notes of things that are negative and why for good reason. We have been built, that we feel scared and anxiety, we when when something makes us you know, if someone tells you put their hand in the box, you don't think there's gonna be Golding that you think

00:04:38--> 00:04:59

they might be a snake or Scorpion, right, your mind just goes to the negative. Our brains have been built like that, to be anxious to be a bit paranoid, so that we are protected from danger. Our brains want us to feel regret and guilt when we made a mistake, so that we don't repeat that mistake. Our brains want us to feel loneliness when we buy ourselves so that we search out

00:05:00--> 00:05:41

social interaction we have we survive in groups in association. And in fact, when the scientists have every negative emotion, the scientists are trying to look at why have we been? And obviously they take it from evolution. Why has our brain developed to have this feeling? Because your brain should not have a feeling that has no purpose, right? Your brain would not have a feeling if it doesn't didn't have a reason. So what is the reason for being depressed? For being hopeless? for wanting to commit suicide? Why do we have these kinds of feelings, these extreme feelings, even our most advanced scientists don't fully understand depression, they do not fully understand the extent

00:05:41--> 00:06:27

of loneliness and hopelessness, where people have no reason to live. So these feelings are normal. And everyone should feel anxiety. For those of you who are writing the exam, you must feel anxious for your exam tomorrow, you must feel a little bit nervous, because it pushes you to do better. But when these feelings overcome you, and you are unable to live a normal life, you are unable to function, you are unable to find happiness at all, then is a problem, then there's a sickness, and we have to see how to cure it. mental disorder, mental disorder is real. And up until recently, it has been very, very misunderstood. We understand when a man has a heart condition, when a person's

00:06:27--> 00:07:04

liver is failing, his kidneys are failing. And we understand that they are illnesses of the body. But when it comes to the mind, we have forgotten the mind is also an organ, and it also becomes sick. And it's very misunderstood. Because it's a very complicated, the most complicated organ. The treatments we have even now are ineffective, costly, and they have a lot of side effects. And there are many types of mental disorders, for example, and there might be people sitting in the gym, or people listening on the radio, they suffer from anxiety, they profit from extreme cases of anxiety constantly feeling like their life is out of control. There are many people in fact, in America,

00:07:05--> 00:07:09

they say the greatest form of disability is depression, that

00:07:10--> 00:07:51

the last 20 to 30% of the population, in this day and age suffer with a type of depression. And some of course, have extreme depression, where they can't even physically get out of bed, to wash to eat, because life is so meaningless. There are people who have bipolar disorders, highs and lows today they are on cloud nine, tomorrow. They are in, you know, all doom and gloom, PTSD, people that had a very traumatic incident, maybe in your childhood, some incident abuse, which can allow that was a focus not too long ago, you can't live a productive life, because you can't move away from that traumatic experience. And of course, psychotic disorders, schizophrenia, and there are many, many

00:07:51--> 00:08:35

others. And often, it's hard I must say this, before we talk about mental disorder. Many times the victim of mental illness is actually persecuted. Unlike the other person who is sick with cancer. And we said, My Allah, gone to sha Allah and we patient with him. When a person has a mental illness. We become very impatient with him. What's wrong with you? Get over it. Where's your Eman, move on? What's wrong, you know, you're just looking for attention. And that people's vanilla as we said, The even link mental disorder with a lack of emotion. And they use this to put people down, and they constantly want to fix you. When Subhan Allah, this is a disease. This is a disease like

00:08:35--> 00:09:09

any other diseases. And it's not something that the person can just wish away many times we think if you just try hard enough, and you think better, your mental your depression, your anxiety will disappear. So behind Allah, this is harming the victim, this is actually harming the victim. Now many of us might think, look, we all as I said, all of us feel sad at some point in time, all of us when we, when we hear that carte blanche music on Sunday night, we feel a bit low, because it's Monday tomorrow, right? We all go through that that's the most depressing sound in the world, right? And because the weekend is over, all of us, when there's an exam coming up, we have a flight

00:09:09--> 00:09:26

tomorrow is a bit of anxiety. How do I know if my anxiety, my sadness, my regrets are to the point of a mental disorder. And this is a bit of a self diagnosis. And I must also mention, I'm not a licensed professional. I'm not a psychologist. But this is from what we've learned and studied and research.

00:09:27--> 00:10:00

If you have trouble, constantly, not able to sleep, and this is one of the real killers of mental disorder. You can never have a good night's sleep, years, decades of not being able to sleep not so behind Allah. For normal people, people who don't have an illness, if you had one or two nights of bed, sleep, you grumpy, you're Moody, you irritable, Muslim, but imagine going through years decades, not being able to sleep because your mind can shut down. What does that do to you as a person to having a con

00:10:00--> 00:10:43

instinct insomnia, having an eating problem, you don't want to eat or you overeat, eat big food becomes your comfort, pain in your body that has no physical reason. Your mind is so good and so anxious that your body is actually beginning to shut down. weeping and crying, getting things hyperactive, not being able to relax, not being able to laugh, constantly feeling tired, the inability to do physical activity, when your body when your mind is in such a state that your body starts shutting down, it's a becomes a problem. Other symptoms, you can't, you can't focus you can't concentrate your mind is you're indecisive. Now, many students are gonna say I have a mental

00:10:43--> 00:11:20

disorder because I can't study You know, sometimes it's yours must know the difference between laziness and distraction and mental disorder. constantly feeling anxious and to handle the anxiety for example, you are always afraid, you are always in that mode, like smile. As I said, some of us you know you're it exams, that nervousness that you have, you can still remember some brothers you with long gray hair, I don't know if you can remember exams. That moment when that paper comes before you open it to making your doors you're shaking you nervous. Imagine living like that all the time. Imagine feeling like that when you need to go to the shop and buy a great feeling like that.

00:11:20--> 00:11:58

When your kids need to go to school. You constantly feel like the world is going to fall in on you people live like this. It's a torture Subhanallah it is a torture mela Grantham Shiva, people have no interest in life anymore. Enjoy, they can enjoy the wealth with children and holidays. They pessimistic they're always down. They feel worthless in themselves, and they feel guilty. Why do I feel like this? They actually, you know, as I said about mental disorder, a person who has cancer, he doesn't blame himself with cancer. But yeah, the patient blames themselves. Why do I feel this way? What is wrong with me and sometimes out of the control?

00:11:59--> 00:12:18

If you're unable to, you know, if you have extreme highs and lows, you can't explain today, I'm the happiest person in the group and tomorrow I'm very, very low, you're unable to maintain your social relationships. If you're constantly having issues with everyone in your family, then you can't be that everyone is wrong. Maybe there's something wrong with you.

00:12:19--> 00:12:54

detachment obviously gets to the point where some people hallucinate, they live in their own delusions, they live in their own mind. They own reality. addiction. Many times drug addiction is actually a cover many of the people we see on the road that I get to extend we think very little of them, how do we know we don't know what problems in their life push them to that, that that addiction and we know what's not permissible is an escape whatever pain that they have, that we wouldn't be able to be many times as any Mom, you find that mental disorder plays out in sexual problems in marriages, extreme anger and violence, you can't control your temper, they might be an

00:12:54--> 00:13:28

issue, and of course, suicidal thoughts. If you are thinking that there's no purpose to life, that if it wasn't for my man or my family, that it would be easier to end it all. When Subhanallah you are very, very ill. And if you have four of these symptoms, they say the doctors for these symptoms, persistently you live with these for one of these for the symptoms, then you need to seek professional help, you're sick, and you need to help have a professional assist you people feel you know to go to the doctor for my tooth do something wrong, my dentist, nothing wrong, but to go speak to a psychiatrist. It's almost embarrassing, you know, it's not Subhanallah go and seek help. In

00:13:28--> 00:14:09

fact, the Sharia wants you to do so. If you do not suffer from extreme a disorder, but you have negative thoughts you have those people, glass half full kind of people, dams 1% empty, when you might need self help, remedies, self help, how can you help yourself fighting the negative bias? How can we do it? So number one, as we said last week, not only thinking positively, but actually fighting negative thoughts or negative thought pops in your mind. Make play a scenario you know, you studied at hamdulillah You did? Well, you did your part. But you still think what if I, the exam comes and I freeze? What if the exam comes in? I can't answer the question. What if it's a question

00:14:09--> 00:14:10

I didn't study for?

00:14:11--> 00:14:51

You realize by you ask yourself, I cannot this thought there's no answer to it. I can't control the uncontrollable, you tell yourself almost you, you counsel yourself. That which is out of my control is not something I can worry about. I can't worry about what the weather is going to do tomorrow. I can't worry about if there's going to be another pandemic. I can't worry about those things. All I can do is take my precautions, depression, but I'm worthless. People don't like me. Then you begin to look at your social networks and you realize that there's a lot of love in your life. And so you need to actively fight your negative thoughts, fight to anxiety fight your depression, fight your

00:14:51--> 00:14:53

loneliness, your insecurities.

00:14:54--> 00:14:59

As I said, the sleep is the the food of the brain and therefore

00:15:00--> 00:15:38

Haven't if it's one that's easier said than done, some of us Alhamdulillah. like myself, sleep is very easy. You know, you put your head down and you're gone. And that's a great blessing, one of the greatest blessings in life. And for someone that is struggling with sleep, actually go out and speak to a sleep specialist to help train your brain to shut down so you can get a good night's sleep, but only a few days, a few nights of really good sleep will change your brain almost overnight. That wins the world feels insurmountable sit small goals. There's something in us when we achieve something, whether it's exercise, whether it's memorizing the Quran, with a cyst, I'm going to clean

00:15:38--> 00:16:15

one cupboard out, I'm going to whatever it might be a task. And there is something built in us that when you achieve a goal, you're going to tick you, you want to do more, even playing games, vanilla, when you go to the next level, you beat the one boss, you go to the next one, you feel good. And so set little goals and achieve them it will give you self worth and confidence. Physically better eating Of course, and physical activity, these things help have a purpose in life, we need to be needed, you know that a person that is not needed, even you have everything in the world. But if you don't have a purpose in your life, you'll begin to feel worthless. And so people usually when they

00:16:15--> 00:16:52

when they retire, for example, they lost they their job is finished, their kids are grown up, they find a deal, they fall into a depression. And we might say to you, but mom, dad, you don't have to work anymore. You don't have to worry about finances, why are you depressed, I have to be depressed because I have to still raise these little kids, but it's the lack of feeling of worth value. So then you sign up, join the Mazel hamdulillah the masjid committee meetings will keep you up many long, long, long, you'll have lots of lot of hours, the schedule happy occasions, you know, Subhanallah once a week, schedule in your diary, whatever you if you like shopping, you like sports,

00:16:52--> 00:17:30

you like running whatever it might be you like a certain donut, you schedule that on this day, I'm going to do that activity. And so you look forward to something it's coming one day away two days a week, you look forward to it. And of course, avoid triggers. Now Hamdulillah, avoid negative triggers. There are people places, websites, whatever that make you once you speak to them, you feel worse. So avoid them. websites that make you feel worse about your life, avoid those things. Now, from an Islamic perspective and hamdulillah. Allah has given us many remedies, spiritual remedies, that and it's about looking at your life in a different perspective. He doesn't mean all your

00:17:30--> 00:18:09

problems are going to go away. But when you are being struck with calamity, and this year has been so difficult with the COVID people have been anxious they've lost their jobs. People have become sick people have lost their lives and loved ones. Of course, it's been a very difficult year, and many people are anxious. But remember, think about it like this. All the prophets on says calamity will be for the believer, men and women in himself in his body, in his shoulder and in his money. Why? Until he meets Allah with no sin on him, Allah so when you're going through a hard time, tell yourself this is Allah preparing me as another how it is sweetening me up. So when I meet him, I

00:18:09--> 00:18:48

meet him with no sin. And I can go to Jenna directly. And I can get access without any without any without any punishment. So every calamity remember, Allah will reward you for that calamity. And it was one law, my brother, my sister that has gone through 50 years 60 years of depression. That is a purification that Subhanallah no one, no one can imagine. There was a lady in the time going to be Salam she had epilepsy. And then a piece of Sallam said to her, this epilepsy of yours will be the reason why you intergender it's that lady, the lady will clean the masjid within a centimeter or two janazah on her after she passed away in her cupboard, because of the patients she had with epilepsy.

00:18:49--> 00:19:28

Every opposite. Think about whatever negativity has happens in your life, it is a chance for you to come back to Allah. Many times Allah knows that if he gave you a good life, a perfect life, you would live a life without Allah. And sometimes because of our negativity, our sadness, our depression, that we come back to him, Allah says and vividly. We make them taste the small difficulties in life, small hardships, to avert the big one mini kiama I give you a little bit in this dunya so that you wake up and that you avoid the big one in the afternoon. It is out of love that Allah gives us these reminders. If you have lost something and sometimes the biggest form of

00:19:28--> 00:20:00

sadness is we've lost a job. We've lost some money and so how am I losing a loved one, someone lost a child this week Subhanallah How is it for parents no one can understand that grief. The profits or the profits are some system. There is no person who has been afflicted with a calamity. And he says in nearly law you are in your own and he makes us do Ah Oh Allah, reward me for my affliction and compensate me with something better give me something better, then Allah definitely will reward him Allah will give you the reward for your patient.

00:20:00--> 00:20:32

And Allah also gives you better in the dunya and the era doesn't mean that if you lost a child and you make this dog I was going to give you another child No, Allah will give that child Jana and give you something better meaning you get Jana as well. You get a closer relationship with Allah. So whenever Subhan Allah make this as a priority you are in excellent Allah somehow lamella protect you in an accident, you lost a job, you'll have something make this to an in your heart you believe Allah took this thing away, only to give me something better down the road. Allah wants to do replace wanted to upgrade me with something better. And when life becomes difficult, remember it is

00:20:32--> 00:21:13

part of life. Allah says that certainly it's a promise we will test you it's a test, a test. Like we say to our kids, when they write exams, it's only now the tests will come to an end. It's only a momentary thing. How do you react? Allah will test you in this life with a little bit of fear, with a lot of hunger, a lot of life and wealth and life and fruits, meaning children, but give glad tidings to the one who is sober, that when they are afflicted with calamity, they say in St. Louis, or in urology to them, Allah says they receive Salawat thec of salutations from Allah. And when life is becoming difficult as Nabil Yunus Nabi Yaqoob. Remember Dr. Cooper so sad that he went blind from

00:21:13--> 00:21:48

his sadness crying for the use of he says in the magical Buffy what was needed Allah, I only complain about my sadness and my grief to Allah. So complain about your sadness and your grief to Allah. Speak to Allah, it is your time. You will not enjoy those moments of solitude in happiness as you wouldn't sentence. Well law you when you're at the hospital and you're crying to Allah, that connection, you have that moment of desperation, even though we should he came when they were in desperation, life and death, that's when they returned to Allah. And so it's an opportunity, Allah takes away something of the dunya but he gives himself in return. And always remember that Allah

00:21:48--> 00:22:08

knows your situation, even if you don't speak to him. Allah says and never think that Allah is unaware of what the wrongdoers are doing to you one a way of your situation. Allah knows what's going on in your life. You are not alone, that as an alumna, do not feel sad. Allah is with you on the issue of death and look at this words of comfort if you've lost anything.

00:22:09--> 00:22:49

The proposition says when a person's child in particular dies and someone in this week the daughter died mama Granta hopeless Indiana, young daughter, and Allah says to the angels of the angel of death when he takes the child Allah says What did you do? And so and Allah knows what an angel says, I took the soul of this person's child. And then I was just did you take the apple of his eye, this the joy of his life and you take that, that soul and then use it as as as he's commanded? And so the have an offset angel? And how did my eat my servant respond? How did the person respond when he his beloved died? The angel will say, he praised you any city Nadella here in LA LA Raji, then Allah

00:22:49--> 00:23:29

will say in response, my May he be glory for Allah will say me that save of mine built for him and guarantee him a place in Jannah. For that, this is your access to Jana. Now remember this word in nearly la he was in LA Raji, when? Why is it so powerful? because it tells you the ultimate end of everything, everything will come to an end and with the end, Allah is the end. But everything in that in that everything came from Allah and to Allah is the turn and when life becomes difficult to remember about the ultimate happiness, Allah says that verily those who believe and do righteousness and they make the Salah, and they pay visa lahoma Jerome in the robbing that they will be rewarded,

00:23:30--> 00:24:07

what are hopeful, nada him what he has known, how many times do we know this that hope they feel they should feel no fear, no anxiety, no depression, without me Has anyone and they should never ever feel down that Allah says if you live your life, in obedience to Allah, whatever life throws at you remember your place in janma is waiting. remember Allah is waiting to meet you. So do not feel too sad and too greedy and too depressed. Because in the end, it is to Allah mela grotto meeting to with Allah to be one of beauty enjoy may death as we make the DA be a release of all our sadness, my death be the welcome and comfort so that we enter into the mercy and the grace of Allah. May Allah

00:24:07--> 00:24:39

grant genital fear those all those who passed away. We thank you again for joining us. And just a few announcements anyone would like to join our whatsapp group and to get our lectures. You can join us in oh wait for triple two or triple to 1308 and just an appeal to the Gemma and anyone on the radio. Anyone that has digital marketing experience as we see the world is going online. If you'd like to participate, we'd like to take all our platforms online, please contact us and you can join the team Jacqueline chicken and so much. Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh