Happiness Guide #1
Channel: Muhammad West
Series: Muhammad West - Happiness Guide
File Size: 11.99MB
Episode Transcript ©
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alumina shaytani r rajim Bismillah R Rahman Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayidina Muhammad not early orthok big Marian I beloved brothers and sisters in Islam salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
Alhamdulillah, benign amin operation to Allah subhanaw taala. And I shudder whether Allah with the witness that none has the right of worship besides the last panel data, and we send our love and greetings and salutations. So beloved Nabina Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who is pious and pure family to his companions, and all those who follow him soon until the end of time, well as part of the bliss has to be on the tsunami, Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa send them in this life and he's companionship in the mean 100 and 100 Alhamdulillah. A few think a week or two ago, we shared a
survey asking you what advice would you like to hear about because Juma is not something that should be done to you, to be imposed upon you. It is something to benefit Alhamdulillah. And whatever you learn from the from the member, it is for what is relevant in your life. And so why don't we add to two topics that were basically Nick and Nick, the one was on why are young people are leaving? Why are people leaving the dean? So but negative and almost basically equal in votes was
electricity isn't happiness? How do I be happy, and I will rather speak of something positive, spiffy towards the end of the year, I know it's exam time for some but towards towards the end of the year, we can all do with a little bit of happiness. And so over the next couple of weeks, maybe four or five weeks or so inshallah, we will do the happiness guide how to be happy in sha Allah with different sections on but of psychology, but of course, from the Sharia. What does Islam say? About how can one be happy? So Bismillah R Rahman Rahim, we introduce that every single person on earth, no matter who you are, we are all united. For whatever you color, whatever religion you follow,
every single person on earth wants to be happy. We want another to find someone that says, I desperately hope today I'm going to be miserable. Everybody wants to be happy. And in fact, even as a Muslim, one way to think about it, your ultimate objective, is you're playing the long term happiness game, you want the ultimate happiness, which is, that's our objective. That's why we are here, we are also chasing happiness. Happiness is the objective of everybody. And, you know, happiness, I don't have to sell happiness to you, I don't have to tell you why happiness is important. It will make your life more fulfilled, you will be more successful in your career in your
dealings with people. Usually, there's a misconception that successful people are happy. So usually the other way around, happy people are successful. And you will even be healthier. It is even proven that happy people live longer. And sad people, Allah have mercy on us, they tend to pass away, they tend to pass away quicker. And you know, there's a famous there's a philosopher called Pascal, he says that, so much so that everyone looks for happiness, meaning that this is relevant to every single person, then even the most miserable people on earth, the people who commit suicide, right, and Allah protect us. These are the saddest people that you could possibly find. They are also
searching for happiness when he kills himself. He's looking for an exit from his misery, he's looking for a happier, happier state.
So what about you and me? Are you happy? If you were to be asked, Are you happy? Are you fulfilled?
And what are the things that make you happy? What is the the thing? You know? What are the ingredients in your life? If you are a happy person that makes you happy? Is it because of your family, your money, your status? The holidays, you eat? holidays, you go on the food you eat? What is it that makes you happy, your beauty? And if you're not a happy person, and if we take a survey, we would find some would say, I'm happy, and others would say I'm not happy. And for those who are unhappy, what is lacking in your life? What is missing? What do you need to find? Or what do you need to bring into your life will take out of your life? To take away the unhappiness or to bring
the happiness in? And why is it that we find so many people that if we were to do a list, what are the ingredients of happiness, many of us would say, Well, if you have money, a lot of money, and you have you know, a family, a family life, you are famous, you're popular, you have power, in all those things, who should be happy. Those are sort of the ingredients of happiness, yet we find that perhaps the most depressed people, and the people that go through the most difficult, emotional life are those who seem to have all the ingredients of happiness. So why is it so difficult to find happiness? What is the science behind it? So we're going to look at this from a scientific,
psychological perspective, where does happiness come from? What causes it? Because what is strange is if every single person from the beginning of time has been searching for this thing called happiness, why is it so difficult to put it down on a paper? This is the road map to happiness.
is happiness something that you search for? Is it external that you look for? Or is it something internal is
It's something that you look for on the it's something from the inside the Western philosophy, the world that we live in the dominant philosophy of the world, it tells you happiness really comes down to pleasure and experiences that you work hard, you'll be successful, you'll get out of material things, those material things will buy you experiences about your holidays, about your cause. They'll buy you, you know, a beautiful spouse, and will get you a beautiful spouse. And that will make you happy. That is the so it's external, look on the outside, work on the outside, work in you focus on your career, focus on your beauty, focus on your body, this, these things will make you
happy. Alright, so it's an external thing. And we know from an Islamic perspective, fun and enjoyment and getting into pleasure, will not always lead to happiness. In fact, some kinds of fun and pleasure, yes, you are having fun, can be destructive, as Allah says, that really shaytaan that really gambling and drinking alcohol and gambling, those things are fun. Those things are liquor, don't you know, none of you of us, none of us know about those things. But those who do what they will say it's enjoy, we have a lot of fun. But Allah says, this will bring you it is of the Philippines of shaitan. And she turns once you to do those things, why so you can keep hatred and
animosity within you long term. It is not fun, long term, it's destructive. So not everything that is fun will lead to happiness. So we know that at the end, it's really an immature young person, boy, a child that will think the more enjoyment I have, the happier I get. As you get older, you get mature, we understand happiness is something a lot more deeper than fun.
What does Islam say? What do you think? Islam says happiness is an internal thing when external thing, I just need to focus on my inside my mindset, and then I'll be happy. What do I need to work on the outside to be happy? What do you think you can comment this?
Inside or outside? Most people will say inside? intuitively, yes, islamically. In fact, Islam says it's both. And that is why that is why Islam is always in the middle, you'd find the materialist, materialistic philosophy, like the Western world that is external, then you have certain philosophies like Buddhism, that is all about internal, you should have no attachment to the outside Islam is this middle road that says you work on the inside. And on the outside, you fix yourself, you fix your family, you fix your job, and this will be happiness, and so on the inside Don't be so Sam says, This is amazing. Heidi, you've said so many times. That to wealth. enrichment is not about
having lots of things about worldly possessions, feeling rich. It's not about having lots of things in your pocket or your bank account. It is about the enrichment of the soul that the man whose heart is contented, the man who goes to beat feeling happy with what he has, is a wealthy man, whereas a man who has billions, but he thinks about all the things he doesn't have, I only have one jet, I only have one island, I only have one company, 1 billion. I'm only a ninth on the top 10 List of the richest people, that person is actually unhappy and is enslaved to the dounia. But it's also on the external Hades, which many of you might not have heard before, look at this Hadeeth then a piece of
film says happiness comes from four things. And bad sadness comes from four things. Happiness comes from having a righteous spouse, having a good marriage will make you happy. Number one, number two, having a big house that will make you happy. Number three, having good neighbors, having a nice social circle, good community will make you happy. Number three, number four, having a soft ride the sweet vehicle, having a nice car will make you happy, thrown on the beach, awesome, sing this. And he says the opposite is true. Misery is having bad neighbors, a bad spouse, a bad marriage, a small house and a very uncomfortable wet bed, you know called it breaks down all the time, basically,
that's gonna make you unhappy. So then a piece of Salamis telling us practical advice as well. Happiness can come from the external as well.
But of course, we know from the Islamic perspective, and we know from Psychology Today, that the majority of happiness is an internal thing that people do if you want to find happiness, your first way of looking is fixed on the fixed things on the inside. Before we look at the outside, and your happiness is dependent on the way your brain works.
Happiness is in the brain. Happiness is in the brain. It's chemicals in your brain. And some people are genetically born, as they say to be a happy positive Tigger, Winnie the Pooh is always happy no matter how things are. Teachers are always happy. And on the other extreme, you will have a sad depressed to some because it's born that way. Other people have just made we are born. Our brains are designed like that. But no matter what way your brain functions, no matter what if you are instinctively a negative person, you were born that way. It doesn't mean you stay that way. You can like any other part of your body. You can exercise it, you can work it you can develop it. And you
can actually change your brain physically through thinking thoughts.
Change your brain, the structure of your brain, your brain is like a like a sponge, or like a field. If you walk a certain path on that field every single day, eventually a road will form. And it's the same with your brain, it will make pathways in your brain. And that will become changed the structure of your brain. And also thinking negatively continuously damages your brain side note, some sign signs jogging, there's something called the prefrontal cortex, that's the right at the front of your brain. This is a this is and a structure that really, we're the only creatures that we know of that has it, what is the single, what's that's different between you and your cat, your cat
can dream, they can't imagine, they can think about the future, we do those things. And that is we happiness and sadness comes from, we do this simulation, this fantasy in our mind. And that is, and that's how we make judgment, how we say, if I do this, this is the outcome, if I do that, it's going to be a negative outcome. This function is the most advanced computer structure in the universe. And that is also the structure that you put on your ground when you make suit to show that my happiness and my success is when I submit this thing to the most powerful to the Almighty.
So how do you fix your brain? How do you teach your brain hack your brain to make it happy? How can we exercise our brain rewire it, we're just gonna do five tips and inshallah there's so much more to be said. But time is always against us. So these are five actual tips you can do to change your brain structure to make it happy. Now you don't have to go for a brain surgery, or a, you know, a transplant, find someone else and put his brain, your brain in your mind. No, you can actually by thinking a certain way can make it happy. And this is not Yes, we only realize these things now the last 2030 years of psychology and medicine. But look at the Sharia which complements this thing. The
prophets have said so one of the things that psychologists will tell you think positive thoughts, think happy thoughts. Think about memories, replay memories in your mind that make you happy. Think about when you will love someone that did something to you a moment in your life that really made you happy. You know, and you know, even if you sit back and you think about it now think about those moments. And so the prophet and think positively about the future, no matter how bad things are, look at the silver lining. And then amazing cinema says I am amazed in other headings. I love optimism. When a Beatles alum sees a Muslim must always be optimistic. Always think well about what
tomorrow holds, be excited about the future, and good words, speaking good and kind words these things he loves. And these things are amazing. So be positive in your thinking. And in fact, look at this. It's not only thinking happily makes you happy, the Hadid says really thinking well of Allah is part of excellent worship, it is part of the better, to be optimistic. It is part of being a Muslim, to be optimistic. Yes, we can talk about the old man or the negative will know the negatives, but to be internally optimistic, and to force yourself to be optimistic is a good thing. And this is part of the tsunami Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam and that is why the Sahaba What did they
say? We never saw him except that he was smiling that he was always smiling. But no matter how you know his children are dying the Quran attacking him this Jana movies things, but we have Allah subhanaw taala. And so that optimism is always the always outweighs it scientifically sets the Sharia aside from a psychological side, there's something called the heel method, the yield method, what is this this thing though, it says you need to take like you exercise your body, exercise your mind daily. And it means sitting in a quiet spot, have a positive thought or positive memories, think about whatever it might be, you know, the day you got married, maybe that's the happiest
moment in your life, hopefully, or, you know, a memory of your parents a memory of your childhood or friends. And you think about now your brain is like a tape recorder. Once you access that memory it plays, then you begin to feel now when you relive that memory, you actually begin to remember the feeling I remember how good it felt. So allow yourself that heal. First thing is have a positive thought he was the food that he in, he'll experience it, feel it, remind you emotionally how it felt. And then absorb it mean spend some time enjoying that feeling. And the last thing is the new link it when you come out to that state. You think how difficult my day is, if I had these wonderful
moments, there are other wonderful moments that are going to come. And this actually changes the structure of your brain. You do this daily, where you unlock your happy moments, and you experience it it will change the structure of your brain to be happier.
Also have things to look forward to a person that has nothing like you knows Pamela sometimes we do counseling, and the person is really depressed and you say what do you look forward to in your life? Something anything? You know, and as I look forward to nothing, I mean, do you look forward to the rugby game, the soccer game, the visiting your family something if you have nothing to look forward to. It's a very sad place to be but
helps you in times of difficulties knowing the example in, you know, what is happiness, five o'clock on a Friday, that's happiness. Everyone has that feeling right? The weekend is coming, because we're looking forward to those moments. And so always have something in the back of your mind a list of these things, make me happy and look forward to those things in the future. Number two, and you'll find that these things are actual actions you need to do. So you need to think optimistically, you mean you must do it. Number two, practice gratitude, not be grateful. But practice, make, make an effort to be grateful. So Angela, I've been watching video of the video reading article after
article, the greatest scientists in the world, they say if you want to be happy, happy makes you could be grateful for what you have. So simple, smart Allah. And this is what the Sharia says, Allah says, and remember when your Lord proclaimed
that if you give sugar, you're grateful for what you have, you will get more. It's not just in terms of money, that if I'm grateful for my paycheck, all is gonna give me more. If you're grateful with life, Allah is going to give you a more full life in another is behind Allah. So Allah says so when you remember the fevers of Allah, remember them so that you may succeed you will be successful just by remembering, oh, didn't say, spend on the favors of Allah give the favors of Allah in charity, I was just remember it, and you will be successful in your life. There'll be sometimes a beautiful day out to make the prophets wholesome says Oh Allah, make me contented with what you have given me. And
bless me in the things you've given me. And for everything that's absent in my life, give me something even better than that. So we make so how do you practice gratitude? Number one, make dua to be grateful. Make sure that we are more grateful. But also, you know, the power of gratitude. If you are in a negative place in your life, when you start counting your favorites and the things that you do, it will make you happy. It will make you optimistic, it will fight off those negative thoughts, cynicism, envy, looking at the things you don't have, it will increase your health and your relationships. So how do you practice? What is the tip I can give you? How do you practice
One way to do it is every single day, and actually as a Muslim, we should do this, you know, thing that was so hard. hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah it's not just like pushes
you thinking about whatever it might be, it's actually an hamdulillah Allah, I thank you for this, I thank you for that I, I give true Praise to you for giving for every hand, you actualize a blessing in your life. So take some time in your life. And that's perhaps the best time is often to when you may come to actually think of a blessing. That's 53 times at least you'll find Allah says if you begin to count his blessings, you'll you'll run out, you won't have enough time. So may come and think about what those blessings are even deeper than that. And perhaps this is something very profound. This is what you know, you is what I'm giving you stuff that philippus you pay 1000s of
rands, to get this, they tell you write a gratitude journal, you sit down every day, and you make five I'm today I was thankful for this, I was thankful for that. We think it's simple. And I was thankful, I mean to the shop, and I found my favorite muffin, you know, I'm thankful for my cat, anything, you put it down with times vanilla, you will become happier.
And this is vanilla, what we do as Muslims, we need to constantly Allah says, For vignette material, because I had this I'm not familiar with it, I've been enumerate the blessings of Allah subhanaw taala.
While thinking positively helps you be happy, you also have to fight the negative thoughts that comes in our minds, all of us are, we have negativity within us. And in fact, psychology tells you that our brains are developed to be more negative than positive. It's called the negativity bias. And they say for example, when this is maybe from a psychology psychological background, that our brain is triggered, to be a bit afraid, skeptical, negative to be so to be saved. All the people that were too excited and too trusting, they got eaten up by lions. And so the ones that were left, were the guys that were negative, and they were always pessimistic. They were the ones that saved.
And so that's what developed into who we are today. So we have a much greater emphasis on negativity, that if someone tells you, I've got good news and bad news, the first thing you got to ask is tell me the bad news. You know, the bad news, you're more worried about the bad news that you think about Subhanallah you the things that are bad if you ever if you have a Facebook page, you have 100 positive comments, but one person says something negative, you focus on one negative thing. You focus on the bad news in the newspaper, that trauma in your life. You don't you know if your way, the good things in your life, you maybe have hundreds of days of real happiness, but 123 days
in your life. It was very traumatic, but those traumas really influenced your mind. So we are we are geared our brains are deliberately structured to emphasize negativity. So how do we fight those negative thoughts? There's a powerful is behind Allah. Allah is telling you sometimes
In most times, the negatives in your life, the problems in your life, if you've done what you have to do, you are not to be blamed for it. It's not your fault. And that's a powerful thing for a depressed person, you are not to be blamed for things that are out of your control policies, no disaster strikes upon the earth, or amongst yourself or in your life, except that it was in a register, written by Allah, before we even brought it into existence before you even created this thing was predetermined, indeed, for Allah, it is easy. And so Allah says, Why am I telling you the SWAMI telling you that I wrote this thing before Allah says, so that you do not display over what
you have lost? What you did not gain in your life, the failures in your life, the problems in your life, don't despair, it's not your fault, you will never ever mean to get that. And also, do not exalt yourself with pride of what has been given to you. So don't also feel too good. You also got those things, not because of you, but because it was predetermined. So it's not your fault, those negative thoughts. And so if you are a person that is a negative person, and you might just be built like that, one of the most powerful ways of fighting negativity is to talk about it to someone else, to discuss it. That's why again, as we said, the Imam, we are the cheapest form of therapy. Many
times people tell us the problems. And they'll say we don't fix anything. We just glad you've listened,
fight off negative and deliberately argue with yourself. If you have a negative food anxiety, for example, what if I fail? You know, what if this happens, what if I lose my job? Those things behind Allah, you have a debate with yourself, that you cannot control the situation? Is there anything I can do about it? If not, then why do I fight over it? Why do I torture myself through this? Don't stress the things you can't control? And most of the times the things that you're scared about, even if they happen, it's not so bad. So yes, I'm not saying that no young people yet. Some young people you must study. But even if you fail, even if you fail, it's not the end of the world. an exam
tomorrow will come. You know, even if this thing doesn't work out, you didn't get the job, another job will come. And so this is we torture ourselves sometimes more about the what if that thing actually happened. And so and if you're also someone that is very susceptible to negativity, avoid the newspapers. Avoid people that like to see negative news. And if you are going to complain, complain to a las panatela number four, don't complain comparisons are very dangerous. You might be very happy with your your Toyota Corolla. But the minute you meet your friend that you know graduated the same year as you when he's driving a Ferrari, you start looking at it to to say, What
did I do wrong? When we compare ourselves to others, and we compare our lives which are fine, to make believe Fantasy Life in our mind, or someone's Instagram lifestyle, that's when we feel inadequate. So deliberately making making active if you're someone that by your nature, you compete you look, it's just sometimes it's your nature, that actively force yourself not to compete. And if you want to compete, every time you compare and feeling inadequate about someone that has excelled over you materially Remember, you don't even know what it's like behind the Instagram what is really like on the other side, compare yourself to someone who did not get what you've got. So don't be so
sensitive. Look at those who are beneath you in material status materially right. And do not look to those who are above you in material worldly things. For it is more suitable that you should call not consider as the end belittle the blessings Allah has given you. When you look at ibadah and worship and spirituality, look at those who excel will look at material things, look at the people that have less. And then lastly, SubhanAllah. Again, the most, you know, the most smartest psychologists in the world, they'll tell you, you have to meditate meditation is really the number one thing you take five minutes a day, you stop working, you leave everything, you cool, you clean yourself and you sit
in the corner and you connect Subhanallah What is that? So it's exactly that. And but also that has become ritualistic and we haven't gotten any fruit from it. Remember and think when you think about Allah, think of Allah in a positive, loving, good way. Allah loves me, Allah cares about me, Allah once Allah is excited to to have me making Salah, the purpose of this Hadith, a man comes and he was his friend and his friend is dying. And he's on his deathbed. And so he says to him, how what do you expect from about to die? Now? It's your Genesis around the corner. What How are you feeling? And so the man says, I'm afraid for my sons, but I expect good from Allah deep down. I'm excited to see
Allah. I'm excited and optimistic. And I'm looking forward to that. And so those the man responded as a debit and he says, rejoice for the nobles and says, Allah says, I am as my servant expects of me thinks of me. If he thinks of me in goodness, he will have it you will have Allah if you think of Allah and goodness in that way. And if he expects evil, if he thinks of me, everything's Allah is this just about to punish or to harm, if that's what you think and that's what you will get. So actively meditate and when you might say meditate makes Allah
When you make that sujood Allah you are in control Allah you are. I trust myself to you Everything is in your hands and you will only do what is good for me. And there's nothing that keeps me more than you so positively think about Allah subhanaw taala and that will bring you happiness, melodrama, grantors happiness, Allah grant us goodness in our life in Shaolin. Next week we'll look at the physical things your body, your family, your money, how do you make those things happy for you in the law? We ask Allah Subhana Allah to have mercy on those who are going through difficulty or ease the pain and the hardship. mela make it a purification a good in the in this life and in the
Akira mela grant those who are writing exams success. I mean, just like the 100 or so let's say Mohammed, Islam Celine hamdulillah Ramadan I mean just one announcement inshallah Tuesday, six o'clock we'll meet for our classes to begin inshallah