Caliphs – Episode 04 – Part 1
Channel: Muhammad West
Series: Muhammad West - Caliphs
File Size: 9.09MB
Q&A – Polygamy
Hello, James Miller McLaughlin from the realizer of bellarine salatu salam Maharashtra mousseline
Islam Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
begin with a bit of an announcement. I won't be here next week and the week after that. I'm traveling to Australia inshallah on Monday, next week, Monday Around this time, and I'll be back again on Tuesday the following week. So we're going to miss two classes. Don't want to schedule a class on Tuesday afterwards, we will probably miss two classes. But we could do is when we get back we can have a double plus on the third Monday, I think it's holiday time so but for you this no holiday show, this is your holiday now. Alhamdulillah Okay, the other alternative is I can continue teaching this on WhatsApp. You can receive the audio. I can do that on WhatsApp. I mean from
Australia, you can receive it. But if you want to attend the live class, then we can wait two weeks. Okay, and this class of the live class is going out on WhatsApp but the purpose was it for you for you guys. We are live. So we don't do WhatsApp WhatsApp is bizarre.
Alhamdulillah Okay, so we will then postpone about two weeks inshallah, and then we'll catch up. And if it's right, we might go a little bit optimistic. But we'll extend that clause to like we have a few things to discuss a couple of things to discuss tonight. Number one, we have a question on polygamy. As we're going to talk about marrying second wife, the former clause was the question. Then we can talk about, someone asked me about a very infamous story, controversial story between hard money and molecule Numero Uno. Ada will talk about that. And they will talk about the compiler. I think this will be stopped last week how the Quran was actually compiled, and how can I trust that
this book that I have here is the same book of the process. And that's the most important discussion of the night. So let's begin with the question of polygamy in Islam, we categorize things in terms of follows compulsory So now, I have recommended Mubarak meaning permissible nobody would no punishment, you can do it. There's no no pain, no gain nothing, no benefit to God. Then you have macroom the slide if you do it no punishment, but you shouldn't do it. And Haram, you mustn't do you get punished? Now, where does nikka marriage fit into one of these things is because compulsory, is it recommended? Is it permissible? Is it the slides is it haraam latest nikka management in the for
most of us, it's recommended. For most people, it's very common. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. If you don't get married, I'm also going to punish you on piano for not being married. Unless you deliberately made a point I'm not going to get married. But if you just never got around to getting married, then these are punishment, but it's a very good thing to get married. Excellent. We agree on that. What is the ruling for marrying a second wife? Is it compulsory? Is it recommended? Is it permissible? Is it macro is haram and Katyn says how long would it take down now in the Sharia? What is the rule? I asked this question because it has come to me it's a question that's not
in this class. People asked me these questions and I can perhaps give a more detailed on senior class in a five minute over the phone. So we do think polygamy fits in this equation which box will be put in same box so recommended
but must have another recommended ha
ha permissible but not recommended. So you think the man will take you see if you manage one it's a great reward martial law. He's been happy. Lena botica Luffy but he gets the secret one. Then you say it's okay. But another one is my crew and otherwise, you become a taboo. It's become something that in our society it's not seen as a we're not so happy when a person marries a second wife as we are winning marriage Why? Why we asked that question Why?
We who we give the answer is because they couldn't provide any guidance. We don't just say yes or no, it's look, firstly, does the Quran even allowed to speak? Does the Quran even allow it? Is there any way in the Quran that allows us to marry more than one wife? Yes. So we look at Surah Nisa surah number four, verse number three, Allah says, Allah Allah casita, philia Tana Frankie Houma La Bella community says must now so that's our back, fighting fifth to Allah ideal for wahida Omar Malika a man radica Edna Danica Edna Elijah Hulu right so Allah Swansea's and if you feel that you can't be just with the orphan goals that you are looking after. When marry any woman that you want to
muscular two or three
maybe two women three even four women and if you cannot be just in love multiple wives in marry only one or slave woman that you have. Okay. Now what is this I took out his orphans and slaves and multiple wives. What is it all talking about? So the reason for this IRB review there was a man Sahabi who had received You know, he was looking after an orphan gold
She had a huge inheritance for us looking after her money. And she was still young now, but she was going to get big, he has to give the money back to her. So he thought, you know what, instead of me giving her the money, why I marry her, then I keep the money. This was his idea. So a lot of revealed this idea that if you are looking after an orphan goal, you in charge of the orphanage and you have often goes there. Is it Halloween tomatoes? Last question. But is it what do you think? Like, if they will call up, there's no funny business. This girl maybe she you know, she was in the orphanage and now she moves out. She's 30 years later, she comes back, she's 40 The man is not even
supposed to can they get married?
Right so they can get married. But as I say, when you exercise this level of control over and often this room for exploitation, you understand? So I was saying, if you fear being unjust, meaning it is not recommended, it's almost we could say to make room for a person to marry, and often that is under his key. So then overseas, then marry, leave the school leave ultimately looking after maybe two or three or four women. Now the idea is now usually we only quote, the middle of the ayah you know, the polygamous jihadists and those who use polygamy as they get ngi. Right? They will say, Allah says and marry two, three or four women, and they leave it at that. But what is the I say
before what is the I say after he's this ayah promoting polygamy approaching justice, justice, but of course it allows you to marry more than one wife right? The I see that you can marry more than one. Then overseas. If you cannot be just between multiple wives they marry only one Now put your heads on you. Look at the way the ISP structured. Leave your personal bias. is Allah favoring polygamy? Or to marry one wife is almost saying marry only one and if you can't marry multiple will always say many multiple but if you can't be Justin, marry one from this ayah which way will it appear?
You Your mother is one is better than multiple as your mother is your wife here because the method is a little shaky, was really authentic.
Anyone else? Look at the IEA CES this year, the IEA.
What do you think is the is saying? Can we deduce what is the difference from this if there's the appear to be a preference, polygamy? Oh, see no marriage? We all know it's permissible, permissible. You can marry one you can marry none you can marry four, we all said Well, is there a preference here?
Isn't the idea I'm just proposing yet. He's not proposing marriage I'm just
isn't the is saying that marry two or three or four. And if you can't manage polygamy, then marry only one it would appear like that. It would appear as if not always say worst is for a man to marry. And that's worst case. We sort of instead of that marry multiple, but if you can't do this then marry one. So almost as if though the I mean when you would say the ideal is to marry to marry 230 by two is better than three if you if you are using this line of thinking thinking the same bottom line to summarize this polygamy is a lie marrying is it's It is recommended if done correctly, for the man who can be filled with multiple wives and you can move often multiple
families. That is a great Suna excellent good. For another man. It might be compulsory, he has to marry a second wife why he's about to commit Zina. He be so involved now we might ask well, how did you get involved in the first place? That's a different discussion that was held on but now he says yes. Either. I'm gonna commit Zina or marry Nika. Those are my two options then obviously then
there might be someone else for you. We say brother haram for you to get married for a second wife Why? You can't even look up your first one. You really neglecting the first one. And now you're ready signal. So for us heroin, use heroin. So the ruling of polygamy is that it is permissible to default. It is Mr. Happy it is done like myka saying really like marrying one. But depending on the situation, of course, it becomes more complicated because there's a bigger risk of being unjust. Now, some questions with regards to polygamy Suleiman is married to sumaiya Masha, Allah, Allah. Now he wants to marry Ayesha chicken. Why
is he allowed to marry Ayesha? If he's looking after sumaiya properly and he can afford to Nevada both of them is allowed. Great. Excellent. So we are on that page. Sisters, we might say my god likey but we say Allah has allowed him that yes. Okay. Second question. Does he needs to Maria's permission does is to Maya says no, I don't want you to marry her. Then can you marry her?
Does he need his first wife's permission?
I didn't ask that question.
Does he need her permission?
So if he says to me, yeah, I'm getting married to Russia. I so my guess is no, I don't want you to I don't approve, I don't accept, and he's still Madison. Is that marriage valid or invalid?
it's valid so they they get together that's what Xena, that's Nika, we are getting fit the rules of nikka has definitely you need the Wiley's permission, you need to what this is, you don't need the permission. Unless, unless what the sister put in her car in the beginning, that if you want to marry a second wife, then you need my permission.
Right? So that's what sisters Know Your Rights before you get married. Right. So if you put that in your marriage contract originally, then it was compulsory, but if you didn't, Now, next question. So we said he doesn't need her permission, doesn't need to tell her. It's only swannanoa equivocate say like, you could the Hadith man, hoshana, policemen, whoever cheats us is not from us. You apply that to your business. You apply that to school kids, when it comes to your wife, then it's okay. We don't have to tell her that everyday. Everyday. Why are you late nights working late? Every single? Monday, every Monday, Wednesday, you're working like what's happening every second weekend. You have
to work why, Pamela and also the concept of nicca walima. Why is their walima? Why are they witnesses? for this to be public. We don't have secret marriages in Islam. And honestly, if the man doesn't have the guts, let's say he doesn't have the guts to tell his first wife. How can you be faithful? How can you have that? That menu to be between two human economist and his first wife about this intention? Okay, excellent. So we see he doesn't need her permission, but he should tell her now. Next question. And this is something which I find is a bit bad. Next for a woman. If your husband wants to marry a second wife, what must you? What does the Sharia require of you? What kind
of mind frame should you be in? Should you say Alhamdulillah? Masha? Allah? Excellent. This is a great sweetener, I suppose you all can you be upset? Or can you even say, I don't want this? What do you think the Sharia requires of you?
You find today that there are groups of people that would say that if your wife does not agree, not that you need her permission, but if they don't give the blessing, almost. They make it difficult on you, then it's a bad thing? Like, is she going against the Sharia by telling her husband? I don't wish to make a second wife the question? If so, my analysis, I don't want you to marry a second wife. And if you made a second wife, I'm gonna cry miserable. I'm gonna be very upset. Is this haraam?
Why is it hard on?
She's not stopping him. But he's saying I'm not happy about it. I'm not going to, I'm not going to encourage it. I'm not going to support you. I'm going to as best as I can, I'm gonna oppose it wasn't permissible, isn't allowed to not go back to the wife the problem with it really happy when you married another wife? Would they upset?
All of them websites.
If they could get rid of the other life with no dancer, this they would. So you know, some I don't know, you find, sadly, the guys who promote polygamy, they also want to bully the first wife into saying that you must accept this with a smile on your face. Let me show you it doesn't require that the Sharia doesn't say which areas if you are upset, and you're not happy, and you become a bit difficult.
In fact, that is normal. And that is the wife of the Prophet, some of us and we know we're going to be so seldom when he boycotted his new year, a month when he didn't speak that will get us around to the end of the zero when a one a whole month Wait, we didn't visit any of them. He boycotted them. And then Allah seek to ask each one. If you want to be married, then these are the conditions if you don't think you get divorced. So he first came to Russia, and he says Allah has given you the choice. Stay with me all we divorce you in a nice way. So he asked Ayesha first. So I just said, I want to stay with you. So we're gonna be system C to Ayesha. Now I'm going to ask the other wives
also. So she said, don't tell them I said yes. Why? Because he thought maybe they will say, Okay, if I if I just says yes, then I'm not gonna leave him alone, then I'm also understand. So if I could get rid of a few of them, and she's the best of the best. So this mindset that a woman must exceed versus She must be smiling and she doesn't seem like going against the Quran. And she doesn't love what Allah sent me that's, that goes against what is really what I was asking of you now.
So we see a man is allowed to get married. He doesn't need her permission, but it's only you know, even if he met us without telling the first wife that marriage is valid. But this is a great sin. This is sinful. He's allowed that the Sharia also allows the system to be upset and allows her to say no, I don't want this but you can obviously Stop it. Can she asked for a divorce? Can she ask for a divorce? So let's ask what are the grounds for divorce when can a woman is with us
just literally multiple medicals.
When can assist when calculate when can a man divorce his wife? Does he have a reason? Does he can he give a colloquy? Does he need a does he need a specific reason to calaca?
Yes, No. Yes. No. He needs a reason. So he says, So Maria. I don't like nobody Annie today. I divorce you.
Is that valid or invalid? it's valid. Even if he makes a joke. Even if Sulaiman he says, So Maria, I divorced you as a joke.
Right? He used the word Palak. As a joke. Is it valid or invalid? We say it's Haram is gonna be punished for that. Yes. But is this a valid divorce? Right, so Subhanallah you can get divorced, without even a valid reason. If that's for the man and one for the lady.
Right? If a reason is I'm not happy. It's not a valid reason.
Right. So let's we'll get to that. So the thing is, the lady if has an answer is Look, he's providing Africa for me. He's not being unjust, but I'm I can't stand the situation. Every time is with Ayesha and you're crying? I can't. I can't. I just can't. I can't be happy. And I want to be maybe ethical. Someone else who can give me I need I need seven days a week husband, I can do with three and a half days a week. I need seven. That's what I need.
Is it can she go and ask for a divorce? Is it hard for her to ask for the divorce? No, it's not how long? And we have evidence from the center. We have evidence from
the wife of 30 typically 70s to hobby fabric. This is a hobby. His wife comes from a lemon. She says yes to the losses alone. I cannot complain about savate in that he's not a bad machine. He's a good Muslim is a good guy. But I might have like I'm not happy with him. But I don't be married to him. I'm not happy in this marriage. Can I get divorced? So the previous service, thank you. Muscovy gave her a garden as a daddy take it back and let her go. So this marriage was hula with the lady basically buys herself out of the marriage. No sunanda is not sinful. We say maybe sister sub or whatever, you know, if you want to tell the husband suffer, don't get married, seek unwisely, you
know whatever. But if you are going to you are allowed to get married to take care of somebody's sister, you are allowed to ask for divorce. You are allowed to request a use. If you my husband takes a second wife You are allowed to do that requested. Now advanced question was but now why is it so difficult for a lady to get a divorce? Remember the ways of getting divorced is Pollak where you can just issue it like that without any reason. The sponsor who you have to apply to the MJC and they will look at the situation and they will say yes or no. And that's the process. Maybe they will say oh man you have a wonderful husband fantastic husband. The second wife is not a good enough
reason that's up to them to look at the situation. Although the process one didn't go into detail with Abby twice. He just divorced they got divorced because he wasn't happy. And then the last way of divorce is like this that I mentioned with a lady basically says to husband Look, I'm not happy either. You taught me he says no. Well then Name your price I'll buy I'll pay you to divorce me. That's permissible. Okay, so that's why it's a bit difficult unless the lady asks in her marriage contracts, give me one of your Deluxe
remember the husband can issue one of those three products without any question or any witnesses out any reason. If the lady had one of those bullets, he can ask for one of those bullets and she can talk us off
the problem is called the duck the problem so Salaam offered his wives number of examples he offered for example Julia gave her the option if you want to be my wife You can be or if you want to leave you can divorce mental same with the other one this example of Ayesha get to give each one of his wives the option of divorces as well all former agree that this issue of dismissal
Well, I don't advise for the sisters to take it because you'll divorce your husband every single day. You'll use a divorce from our honeymoon he will use that question as a Question
No, no, no. If he fell off right, you can't take it back.
In the case of a hula these three facts Oh, there are three types of divorce tries to come to the marriage class, even the even the married people now you know how to get out of the marriage right? There are three ways of divorce. This
is faster, faster, faster, actually. And hula talaq talaq is you issue a statement or anything that means divorce there's no other meaning. If a man
says Get lost. It can mean two things it can mean, get lost my love, and go and have a good time. I'm going to look after the kids, right? It doesn't get lost, it can mean a divorce you right. So, if the talaq must be a very clear statement of divorce, if he says I am divorced from you, I tell you, you're not my wife cannot mean anything else is a second opinion in it. No. So that's the first way of ending the marriage, the husband issues one of these padlocks. Now, as we say, the husband gets the three pallets on nikka on the Delica, which gives him these three bullets. But he can transfer that to someone else, to the wife to the mom to the wife's father can do. So if she puts it
in a contract, or she asks for it. Like you find this one I was in a situation the case with the husband says, Look, I don't want to divorce her. But she's so miserable. If she wants to in the marriage, I give her the option. So the lady took the talk and she says, I give it to my dad, if my dad thinks this is the right thing. They make him pronounce it and then he leaves the situation. And he said, I want what's best for you. I think a lot is missing. So then you pronounce it. He said I divorce from the two of you and abuse is permissible. So when that happens, you can't take the down event. Even if you gave up a mountain as the Allah says in the Quran.
There are some means sadly, there have divorced the wives and they still think that
he hasn't fully but it's addicted the older. And that's one way of divorce. First is whether I said you go to the Ola super extreme the English he goes and says the two of you Baker that you get divorced. And you need to make a case. And actually, husbands don't go too fast. Why? Because if he was so keen on getting divorced, he wouldn't go and sit days where the investor you just issue the potluck? Correct. It's more the sisters. When the last situation is very uncommon. I've only experienced this in my life once where there was a hula way the lady can divorce the husband by paying him.
And in the suit in the example of fabric in many cases, his payment he gave the lady a garden a field basically he gave a big property. He has a big Muscovy that sign right.
That was like a fortune. So he was a rich guy. And he loves this lady so much. He gave her a garden, and she didn't want him. So then the prophet SAW Selim said to her fine, but are you willing to give therapy practice Gordon? So she said yes. I'm so miserable in this marriage. Thank you, God. Now in that case, that's a type of divorce, which is so Sharia allows the sister, likely man, if you are unhappy, you're not forced in an unhappy marriage. One of the few things that are hung up to the minute is Hello. But this is the one thing that really is how we can enjoy ourselves, you know, be happy in your marriage. Be happy in your marriage. So getting to the point of this polygamy story.
Allah has allowed it and it needs to be done correctly with both parties, so the man must treat them equally failing. And yes, if one cannot manage with us, she may request the divorce. Nothing, no son on demand today, if a man takes a second wife, we look at him aghast. Like he's a bad guy. Like you know, if you come in and say now we have more understanding. So he wants to do it quickly, possibly could similarly good with a lady also is unhappy in a situation. And she says, Look, I've tried I can't manage one divorce. She also has that like in the Sharia. Don't take away her rights. So many times, the man will say, Don't take my rights of polygamy, that's my right to Sharia has given me so
don't take her right of finding happiness as well. Instead, the shadow wants both of you to be happy. And if it's worth each other together, what happens if it's with you, and I share on the side? Well, hamdulillah it's for Somalia to go to 211 that's how it should be right.
so, you find I see this, I see this in the in the Joomla. The Hanafi madhhab is not what exactly what you see. So just as the people of Capetown are not an example of the true Shafi man, sometimes you think what the capetonians Shafi mother Shafi had in his in his mazovia positions on Sunday, they must be Kufa. Right.
Some people's won't say the Shafi model allows closer in it, Masha. Allah don't confuse culture with a method. Sometimes things are done in certain areas. And the mother is blamed the mother I don't in fact 100 again, I say this so many times that
The mother was actually the most lenient. The Hanafi mother even allows the woman for example, if she gets married without the permission of her while he
correct, it's correct that if you get married without the permission of your wedding, this marriage is invalid.
But, you know, it's not the 100 the mother versus women in the masjid. That's the Allah of Joburg in Durban. It's the opinion, not the mother's opinion. So don't be confused. But yes, as I said, the odema have the right to give us based on the criteria. So you go to the German Lama, you go to the industry, they have a strict rules. If you want us to do in the marriage, you must prove it. But some some imams from Allah will be stricter, some of them so this is not a valid excuse. How do you spell maybe the man the lady says I can't stand this brief. I want to get divorced. And that is a valid excuse another valid excuse.
It's a goody, goody.
He's supposed to Liverpool and Manchester fan constant.
So the owner must have their own criteria. So I know, for example, the MDC. They have people when they want to get out of marriage, they want to get out of marriage. Now, the vote shouldn't be rushed. And it's good that the animosity sit down, let's talk it out. Let's see this. Like, they will say to the sister, maybe there's a way you can get along with Russia. Maybe I think that's a better option than divorcing two families living separately. But obviously, at the end of the day, if sumaiya can't love as a second wife or a husband, and she has the right to request a divorce, she has the right no sin on her in that regard. So don't take that right from her as well. What
so anyone wants to have a second wife?
So we see he has he is free to marry a second wife with no reason. So some people feagles hope Some people also think that yes, the Sharia allows a man to marry a second wife, but he must have a very good reason. She must be ugly. And she and the first wife mustn't be able to be children. In fact, the first wife must be in a coma. They only can marry second know if
a man is in his 60s and Auntie Auntie sumaiya in 60s, and
he sees he sees a nice 18 year old girl and look, I just want to get married to her for for the enjoyment of it. Hello permissable. We don't need he doesn't need to justify it. So long as he says it correctly. As long as he treats and the Ayesha and it sumaiya the same way? It's fine. doesn't mean they're going to be happy. But what's fee? Okay.
Yes, did she might need more than one husband know?
A second wife
is that so then you can be in any marriage in any marriage, the terms of it can be determined beforehand. So maybe even you know family, you might find situation. The man is studying in Saudi as my situation married, so we're going to be separated for about six months, our separate span of six months. So you make you make no look, you have the right of nafa you have the right and I need to be with you. I need to be physically my time, but I can't now. So we agree so for six months. So anyone so how it works in the Sharia. If you have a contract nica has a contract with one person owes you something, you have the right to forego it. So for example, the plumber is fixing a house he says
look, it costs 500 now the time comes to pay him he says All right, man, give me 300 Can you do that?
The the plumber, the plumber? You You're the one paying 300 You can't do that. But the one who must receive the HAC. You can you can forego your heart you understand. So similarly in the marriage, if a lady is rich and she says you know what? My heart is to be Nakata. But I don't need that. I don't need you to maintain me. She has the right to forego it.
Even the Muscovy the Mahara she can give it give a portion of it to him if she wants to afterwards afterwards. He has to pay but then she can use it to look at you by clothes or whatever it might be. So it's permissible. You can give your hock up but you can't withhold someone else's hack. Okay.
This is not only Daffy Duck, nothing to do with our topic. I just thought this explain the situation. Okay. That's fine. I think one one thing
To understand, maybe the issue of polygamy is a sensitive one, we have maybe made it more taboo than it should be. When a man takes a sick it's almost like a scandal. It's almost like an ugly thing. shouldn't be that way. If he does it correctly,
it is correctly or hamdulillah.
And I also don't think you'd like about marisnick and why was the great Jihad MP? This is the the great sooner I am there are many students rather that you can do make wake up with magic force on a Monday and Thursday. Also, they will play the card but I'm supporting a woman I'm looking after the no problem. You can support refugees and people you can make EFT No, you don't have to marry the woman to support her. Anyone, as I said, lets you know people need to be a part of the Sharia and do things correctly. And at the end of the day, it's emotions, a lot of the stuff is emotions, and don't use the Sharia to push a certain agenda. If you want to get married to that 18 year old, it's
your right to say it's the Sharia. I'm trying to uplift the Sharia. Similarly, the sister wants to leave because of that. Don't say that she's against the Sharia. Don't do that. It's her your right to marry. I shall it is 18 and it's her right also to leave the marriage if I'm happy