Fiqh Of Love Episode #19 Intimate Issues

Salam Alaikum My name is John Fontaine and welcome back to the thick of love. We're joined again here with Dr. Muhammad Salah salah. Come share, welcome Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakato. John, how you doing? I'm doing great. And Henry Angela, tell me about yourself. How about yourself? Yeah, hamdulillah I'm just very excited. It's a great program. It's going well, we learned so much from you and have the love chef, we should call you. Or do you think hamdulillah Hamdulillah. So,

in the last episode,

we were speaking about the wedding night. You know, we mentioned that, obviously, a lot of the times people are very worried about this night is something new, especially with a woman, you know, meeting the man for the for the first time being alone with technically someone she's never really spent time with before. So it may become quite worrying for them. And Hamdulillah you gave us some great advice on this. And you know, from the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu Salam explaining how he was with his wives and Subhanallah today, we will speak it we want to speak about after the intercourse but but also some of the restrictions around intercourse as well. So we'll start with

the restrictions, what things are not permissible

with the consummation of the merger Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Unigine Allah it is very important to discuss this matter because as you and I in the beginning of this program, as you're thinking about it, there are a lot of people who do not make their homework before actually getting married. And that can lead to fallen into some sins or measure sins measure falls also can lead to separation Lehrer among the drawbacks of not learning what is halal and what is haram in marriage? Is things around the sexual relations or innocence a major thing that Allah subhanaw taala referred to in the Quran in surah Al Baqarah when he said was a luna can in my hand, pull her Adam fat as you don't

miss her. I feel my Haley. Well at the caribou Hoonah had your term for either proper Hana fat to one I mean, Hi Sue Amara Kamala in the live Hey, Butoh Avena or your hebbal Matahari This is a very comprehensive i in this respect. So the I says when people ask you Oh Mohamed Salah is Salam concerning and Muhammad Yanni the men says, the monthly period, which women experience when they reach the age of puberty until menopause,

tell them it is harmful. So you should not approach your wife sexually. And you should not have sexual intercourse during the menses, there is only fine that you should avoid having complete intimacy with your spouse during the menses, even through a barrier that is not permissible.

Had the term until the Sahara. So the IEA explains not once the menses is over, he can just have sexual relations No, not before the woman will perform mostly and remove the remains of the impurities from the office and then perform most the live division period then you can have the sexual relations. So does this also include like foreplay and things like this? Things that are not related to No, no What is restricted is only concerning having a complete sexual intercourse. And as a matter of fact, some of the wives of the Prophet salaallah Salam, whether I Isha or mausoleum and others have shared with the OMA and with the Companions, the lady companions that whenever any of

them would have her menses, and it is her might. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Cana Musa and the desert, the desert where the izhar Yani to wear something on the bottom, so that this area is restricted, and then they would cuddle and they will sleep next to each other and so on wherever a couple can do of kissing and hugging. And, you know, uncovering together as long as you avoid the sexual intercourse. Why?

Because it's not only the man

will have physical desires and has physical needs, it is also the woman and during her PMS and during the period, the woman is in need for more emotions than any other time. So it is not only because the man wants to satisfy his sexual desire, so she's got to be ready. But also she has some needs, and the man has to pay attention to that. So the Prophet salallahu alayhi salam used to take care of that, and he taught us this something we're learning from the life of the prophet peace be upon him. So kissing, hugging, as long as everything as long as you avoid having sexual relations in the office, then it is a permissible during the menses. I mean, so is there any more restrictions

with in terms of intercourse? Well,

the ISA is also Subhanallah for either Takahama to hone them in high school American law, the answers a very common question but indirectly or it is specific to the point without exposing what people talk about. So Allah subhanaw taala says, After the Tahara after the purification and performing host after the menses, and similar to the menses is a post delivery bleeding, which can last for days or less for a month or even more. So after the bleeding stops. And a woman performs those and cleans up the office then for either Pato Hana to von Neumann, hi so America Milan, you may know embrace them sexually, in the orifice which Allah subhanaw taala permitted for you, how

long does it usually take which issue like after giving birth and things like this? Well, that varies from a woman to another. So some woman actually,

you know, it can be a day or two, and some women last beyond 40 days. So once the bleeding stops, and she performs lost, you can go ahead and enjoy the sexual relations. But did you pay attention to the ISS fair to hold them in high school Amara Kamala, Allah the Almighty, permitted and allowed sexual relations only in one orifice.

The front office not the real one.

It is absolutely forbidden and it's a measure center approach a woman in the rear office, okay, as a matter of fact, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam made it equivalent to cough spell are very strict checks upon Allah solely just to clarify the anal sex is forbidden. Yep, absolutely. No difference of opinion in this regard. It is absolutely forbidden and it is equated to cuff or disbelief. You see when you say strict? No, it's not. So there is only a section during the menses and having intercourse in any office other than the front one. Yes. Subhanallah Some people ask if oral sex is also permissible? Well, I don't mind you're asking this question because as a matter of fact, youth

now started asking those questions.

So, when when I have a reference and when I have a text, I will throw it at you and say this is haram. Like when you just spoke about ASICs and said no, this is absolutely forbidden, there is no reference in this regard, but it is something to many people disgusting, okay. So, if you avoid it, that is definitely better. In addition to this is one of the easiest way of transmitting diseases. So, this is also a medical reason to avoid it. But is there a reference or a text which says It is haram? No, there is not just

so shake now, I want to I want to move on to muscle, you know, after the wedding night or if you like the consummation of the marriage, you know, we need to bear in mind that the Salah is coming, you know, Fajr or whatever time it may be, you know, how do we prepare ourselves now, after having intercourse for the salah. In ordinary people who do not necessarily follow the order and they do not know the YG bat and the Arcana and the Sunnah, they just go to the shower place, let's say Bismillah. And in the house, they intend to do hostel so that they left the impurity of having sexual relations is a sufficient is sufficient, as long as they cover the entire body with water,

they wash their bodies from head to toe. Women who have the hairs in braids. They don't have to undo it. So the water will just fall from top to bottom. Or if you're using any tool to wash, it's sufficient. If we're talking about the proper order, and the Sunon and the ad and a ticket, then you can explain in further detail if you're interested. Yeah, I think

For briefly we can we can go into it. And so the person should begin by washing their hands, then washing the private part Subhanallah, then performing will do, okay, then pouring the water on the right side of the body

while rubbing, okay, the under arm between the toes between the fingers, okay, between the thighs, then pouring the water while washing the body and robbing the body on the left side, then one more time all over the body. And by that you perform those. Also, if you you know, if you want to perform Moodle, so that you will leave from the shower place really to pray that will be that is permissible, and that would be great. So at what point does it also need to be made because you know, if somebody maybe they've not, they're not sure, if they've actually even made intercourse, you know, maybe there was no discharge etc. In video for host is mandated for both men and women,

upon experiencing what dream and seeing the sexual discharge, or the signs of having sexual discharge. Sometimes a person may have a dream but without sexual discharge, a man or a woman then also does not require, even if you still remember the dream perfectly, like complete sexual relations, but there is no sign of sexual discharge, then, then there is no Austin.

And also if the person just gets up, and they find that they have sexual discharge, even if they don't remember their experience or dreams, and also have to educate the youth in this regard, because this is a sign of reaching the age of puberty. So when we're talking about the couple, husband and wife, they can help and assist each other in understanding that because there are no restrictions between them. They can talk about all things and all kinds of things. The wife can talk to her husband, the husband can ask a chef on her behalf and so on. But the youth I hope Inshallah, they will pay attention to that a lot of people they reach the age of property, and they keep

experiencing their dreams, they don't understand, they just throw their clothes in the laundry, and they move on. Now the prayer is invalid. The prayer is invalid. And if you're performed off, it's invalid. You have to perform most to live this measure. And this is very important point because Shaco had a lot of messages on Facebook, especially of young brothers, some of them asking for advice and support. Some of them who fell into sins of watching pornography and things like this. And they even

you know, masturbating and things like this throughout the day. And they're saying that they're praying without whistle, no collusion or inducing sexual discharge. Besides being forbidden, it requires performing hast so if the Salah is done without also is accepted, no, of course that is not valid, and the payer will not be accepted. Besides the fact that masturbation is forbidden or inducing oneself to release sexual discharge by any mean, other than having a valid relationship with a spouse.

That requires us as well. So there is a sexual discharge due to weird dreams due to sexual intercourse. Do you mess ambition due to masturbation requires forced spend if the person doesn't know, and he paid like that the fire is invalid. As a matter of fact, we're not here only teaching the couple who are already married or about to get married. Our use for each the age of puberty, not too many of whom attended soccer classes. They don't understand that what dreams require almost no, and sexual discharge due to masturbation. It's haram and it requires the host. You cannot read Quran with this kind of impurity, you cannot enter the measured. You cannot offer the prayer. You cannot

perform tawaf because you are in a state of measure impurity, you must perform almost likewise, when she couple, this is not just the youth show that we have adults, which maybe they've not, they don't actually know this. And maybe for many years they've been praying with, you know, and they know us what, John, there are things which the person may be given the benefit of doubt in the regard luck when I didn't know but when it comes to Tahara when it comes to Hara no execuse because every Muslim, whether you're educated, whether you are adopted, whether you are a janitor, whether you are a man or a woman, young or old, you must learn the outcome of Tahara because the Almighty Allah does

not accept Salah without who and does not accept sadaqa from Hulu, this is what the Prophet sallallahu SlMs said, in Allah Allah, Allah Allah may Allah to

What a sadhaka man who wrote a prayer which is offered without purification isn't accepted.

And soda which is given from money which was earned unlawfully will not be accepted as well.

You add to that if the person prays without Mahara, knowingly, that itself is a major sin. Unknowingly, it becomes our role to educate people and to spread the word. And that's why we're causing a lot of headlines when you're asking about when you're asking about masturbation, when you're being an OB, the issue of the OS X or the animals x, if we don't talk about it, some people will say, Well, I didn't know. And some people, some husbands take advantage of the innocence of the spouse. And he says it's perfectly valid. So now we're saying what is haram here so that everybody knows what is halal and what is haram?

Which isn't okay, we'll just take a short break. We'll come right back. Join us in a few minutes for the tip of love.

Assalamu Alaikum salam, my name is Jonathan and welcome back to the Feck of love. So I can share right equals Salam rahmatullahi wa barakato shave, you know, some viewers may find this topic or these this episode.

Quite strange to listen to. Yeah, because explicitly, that's a good word. Because in a lot of cultures, these things are not addressed. But I personally believe that some of the problems or many of the problems that we have in marriage are because these, these, these problems are not being addressed beforehand. So although it may be taboo in some cultures, I think it's very beneficial, that we actually cover these things. So just

children, schools, are learning social education, unfortunately, not in the positive way, rather, in a very negative way. Yeah. So whoever thinks that the youth and the children do not know much, actually, he's the one who doesn't know much. And whenever a woman came to the Prophet salallahu Salam and said, Oh, Prophet of Allah, in Hola, hola, esta HeMan Allah, Allah does in SJ, I have to say the truth, and present the truth. So I have a question. And the question was pertaining to women issues. If this woman did not ask this question, and no one have asked this question, it would have still been vague, and people who would wonder about the answer, but this woman almost came to the

Prophet Salah salon. And as a Christian, it was about women experiencing what dreams, you know, because it's about Tahara. It's about offering the prayers, because without Tahara I cannot offer the prayer. And it's not only once or twice that is something that happens very often. And it happens to most people. Yeah. SubhanAllah. So even from the early generations, we see that we should ask these questions, if we don't know. Of course very important. So Sheikh, I also wanted to ask you were speaking about her so just before the break, and is it okay for a husband and wife to bathe together, you know, to wash together in this, you know, yesterday it is permissible and I Aisha Radi

Allahu Anhu said that she and the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, and we're talking about the Prophet sallallahu sallam, they used to bathe together and they used to take water from the same vessel and he would say Leave some for me and you say Leave some for me. You know why would I regenerate or something like that? It is in order to tell us what is halal and haram in the Sagar. So that some people who would have the concept of doubt this is haram why because it doesn't click in their mind. So the the makeup haram or they make it halal, based on their how're you know, what do you think of? No, it's about what Allah or his messenger Salallahu Salam made haram or Halal so

bathing together, a husband and wife is perfectly legal and halal to soccer. So in terms of, you know, having experienced the night of marriage,

you know, consummating the marriage. How important is it to keep these matters private.

It is extremely important not to speak about the personal relationship between the couple before anyone, my even your brothers or sisters, your close friends, and the Hadith which is a sound Hadith. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in immature oil healthier monkey among the worst P

Hold on the Day of Judgment, a man would have sexual relations with his spouse with his wife. And then he would share that with his friends with people, and a woman who would have sexual relations with her husband. And she would share that with her friends.

What goes on behind the closed door and in bed should be kept between the husband and wife completely.

You may say, what about if there is actually a clinical issue, and I'm consulting a doctor, with regards to some sexualities, some pain that the woman feels during the sexual relations, so she is explaining to her what happens is that permissible, this is different, because this is for a medical reason. And with conditions, what the Prophet sallallahu sallam was referring to, is the joy in sharing what happened in bed, and what kind of sexual position we had last time. Or last night, and how many times you had sexual relations, all of that should not be discussed with no one other than the couple themselves.

So in terms of sexual etiquettes, what type of sexual etiquettes that we have for examples of in the sun.

As long as you avoid what is forbidden, then anything else is permissible or even recommended. So you asked me earlier about taking medications which help in the sexual relations. If that is prescribed by a doctor, it's permissible, wearing perfume, applying some lubricants, or whatever would facilitate this problem, consult your doctor in this regard, a lot of people experience severe pain in the sexual relations. It shouldn't be painful, it shouldn't be problematic. It shouldn't be a torture for the woman. It should be joyful, it should be

a means of happiness and pleasure, experiencing pleasure and satisfying the sexual desire. But many women complain that they feel that they are experiencing severe pain because the guy is like a monster.

He doesn't understand that it's a matter of introduction, foreplay, taking it easy. And also using whatever is prescribed by doctors or as far as medications or things which will facilitate this process and make it smooth.

Should we have a question? Regarding Is it permissible to have intercourse in the bathroom, you know, somewhere where there's a toilet? Yes, it is permissible, whether in the bathroom and bed on the couch on the sofa. That is all permissible.

And also, one thing we need to mention, and it is really important as far as the consummation of the marriage, and on every single time that the couple would have an intimate relationship.

It's a supplication that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam recommended to be recited by the couple, before having sexual intercourse, which is Aloma? Dinniman the Share Plan was initiated vana models of tena, the supplication is amazing. You're asking a lot Almighty to keep Satan away from you, while having the sexual relationship and also asking Allah to protect your child, if you were to have a child due to the sexual relations if your wife gets pregnant, as a result of that. So may Allah protect the child from Satan as well.

It is due to the fact that the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, Whenever somebody enters into his house, if he says Bismillah mentions the name of Allah, then Satan and his full words if he's bringing his gang with him, they will not be able to enter the house. They will be kept outside. But if the man and the woman and the child and the grown up, just walk in and they say nothing, they do not mention the name of Allah. They come in and they bring Satan's with them into the house. It creates a lot of problems a lot of fights at home. Then also at the time of eating the Prophet sallallahu ala cinema said if the person starts eating right away without saying Bismillah Satan and

his gang and his followers, they're so Satan's will come with him. They enter the house. Now they will enter into the dining room and they will enjoy dinner with you as well. And the Prophet Salalah cinema said a che upon will say Berman Alicia, we guaranteed dinner tonight here so we guaranteed lodging and we'll get

Guaranteed dinner, then if the person was to have sexual relations with his or her spouse without saying the supplication shaytan will be involved as well. So it's highly, highly recommended upon every time that we're having sexual relations to say both say, along Majan inertia upon it was in leadership on a Mao's Athena. So if they are being blessed with a child, then he will be protected from a Chopin he or she just shared just before we finish, I want to speak about romance and the language of love more or the some of the ways we can speak to a partner, I think. And I'm not just speaking about how the man can speak to the woman. I'm also speaking about how the woman can address

the man as well. You see, now, the husband and wife are closer to each other than their own parents and their own siblings. The eye describes this relationship in a very eloquent way. The Almighty Allah says Hona libera. So lako were Antonia vassula Han

le bass is the government.

Your wives are like your garments. And you are to your wives are like their garments, which are the closest thing to their skin, to their bodies. So one has to take every advantage to share with his or her spouse, their feelings, and even to exaggerate their careers love, exchange gifts, the prophets, Allah Allah, Allah cinema said, to handle to humble. So whenever she is, fixing a very nice and delicious meal, you walk in home, anything, some roses, not every day, you gonna buy a gift, no.

Hay fever.

So people buy flowers, she gets sick of Kelly metal, to sadhaka. When you ring the bell, you have the key by intent to ring the bell. Maybe she's in the kitchen. She's not ready yet. So especially if you happen to come earlier, you ring the bell who said that's me honey. So she would run and you know, wash her face, comb her hair, okay? Or she will open the door and she say, you know, give me a minute. She needs to fix herself. That's nice. You have to appreciate that as well. You know the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, whenever he was traveling, for ombre for jihad for an expedition, he would not come home right away. He would come and begin by the machine. So that string in the bill.

Everybody knows a prophet and his companions ever return. They didn't have cell phones. They didn't have WhatsApp or social media. So their wives do not know that they have come back. So when they come to the masjid, the word will be spread, and the wife will prepare herself and get ready. And if the Prophet sallallahu Sallam have arrived at night, he will in camp outside and Medina and he would not enter and Medina not to surprise his wife, and so that men would not surprise their wives at night. This is a lot of beautiful prophetic etiquette that we need to pick up beautiful shackle. So we have time for today. So hopefully we can carry on with that next time. He should I just love her

for joining us. And we'll see you next time. Insha Allah. For those of you at home join us next time for another episode of the effect of love as Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh