Bridging the Gap Between Parents and Children

Our next talk is very important also, in one of the challenges that many of the youth are facing, and that is the gap between children and parents, teens and parents, and what are the techniques and what are our responsibilities? And how can we bridge that gap to make our relationship with our parents and our elders in society to be much more profound and important. So for this I'm inviting che Mufti Mohammed limonada Melco, three haffi the Allahu taala. He's no stranger to this Islamic foundation and also Toronto. But just a brief introduction. Sheikh Mufti Mohammed Divina Adam, is a young traditionally trained scholar who studied in different parts of the world. Born in Leicester,

UK, and raised under the guidance of his illustrious father ship monana. Adam huffy the hula. He started learning about Islam from a very young age and memorize the Holy Quran at a very tender age of nine. He initially studied the Arabic language and, and various other traditional Islamic Sciences at Daro loom very united kingdom under many shoe you notably chef Monado, Mohammed use of Motala harfield of Allahu Taala and received authorizations in various books including the six major books of Hadith. He also took part in a one year course of specialization in the sciences of giving legal verdicts that is if ta after graduating, he traveled to Karachi, Pakistan where he studied

under great living scholar justice Mufti Muhammad Taqi with money our fellow Allahu taala, and others. Later he traveled to Damascus, Syria, where he increased in experience and knowledge by studying under the great drama there and received authorizations from the various scholars there. He has written several books and many of his answers to many of the questions appear on the famous website. So neidpath and also his own personal website, Donald lifta.com. He presently resides in Leicester, UK, and hamdulillah he's also a father now. So with these few words as an introduction, I invite our chef Mufti Mohammed Abdullah who three half years of Allah to inspire us and once again a

reminder please all the brothers that are standing at the back of the prayer hall, please move forward come inside be seated and join the gathering does Aquila This is the respect to our guests inshallah. Brothers and sisters are requested to kindly assemble in their designated areas. So that inshallah we can listen attentively to the to the scholar is located on

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Abdo rasuluh Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi early hit play if you know Paul hitting was a heavy edge marine coulomb into the sun either you meet Dean

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Structured brothers sisters are Salam. Wa alaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

Once again, it's an honor and a privilege to be here with you in Canada, Toronto, Islamic foundation of Toronto, this youth tarbiyah conference.

And I pray Allah subhanaw taala accepts your efforts for coming here. And efforts and the endeavors of the organizers. We all accept all those people who've had some sort of

say in the preparation and the organization of this conference.

My topic is actually

I'm going to try to make it a bit informal. It's to do with children and parents. And I'm not just talking about young children, but I'm talking about children, young children, as well as mature children even grown up children and parents are not just young parents, but even elderly parents, parents, their relationship and the tie ties and the kinship between parents and children. This gap that we find ourselves in and seriously we have, we live in a time now where generally relationships, the ties of kinship, and relationships are not maintained, and specifically between parents and children. Many times what happens we live we live in a household, it's just for the sake

of it sometimes like you were lodging in a house the parents the father comes and does his thing. The mother comes she does her thing the son comes does his thing. The daughter comes in the house and does her thing. It's just individuals whereas Islamically we are encouraged to we are ordered we are commanded that we should live as a family and especially this relationship there is so much emphasis we find in the Quran and Sunnah extreme amount of emphasis laid upon kinship and specifically about parents and children. And generally the whole issue of Maharashtra social laws, social etiquette, we find the Quran goes into extreme detail, talking about Marsha on social

etiquettes the Quran normally we find is very limited in terms of explaining the rules of Salah and zakat and hajj. But when it comes to social etiquette, when it comes to how to live with your fellow family members, and how to live with your relations and with your relatives with your cousins with your, you know, extended family with people around you, then the Quran goes into extreme detail. And generally your hook on the rights of our relations are greatly emphasis upon in the Quran. And unfortunately, despite this being greatly emphasized, we live in a time where ties are not maintained. There's a massive gap between parents and children. There's a massive gap. And we all

you know, we have an excuse. And parents have an excuse that you know, we live in busy times we don't have time, you know, the highway in Toronto, it's like takes you two hours to go home and work and nobody has time we don't even have a meal together as a family on a daily basis, maybe once a week. And that's even sometimes

there needs to be a bond between parents and children. Parents need to realize parents need to learn that there are rights for the children. And likewise children need to understand and realize and know that they have extreme amount of reverence and rights that they need to give for their parents. And this is greatly emphasized in the Quran. In terms of the parents, the Quran is filled with versus the Hadith, the Sunnah of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, we find numerous amounts of Hadith that talk about the rights of parents treating them well honoring them being kind to them being considered towards them, taking care of them serving them. And again, you know, this is

another problem as well you know, seriously this some this notion is setting within the some of the Muslims and it's come from the non Muslims that you know, your parents they just like new normal human beings what Big Deal they're just your parents, they're humans, we're human. So what? And I've actually heard this from one young brother, they my parents, okay, you know, it was an accident and Allah made them my parents, what else nothing else.

Islamically parents have a great right over you, Allah subhanahu Adalja have made your parents a external means of you an eye coming into this world, parents are superior, children are inferior, seriously keep in mind, parents have been given this right over their children Islamically parents are given preference. They are they are the leaders of the household, on their superior to their children. And this is greatly seen in the Quran. We see many verses and many Hadith, right for example, the famous verse, Allah subhanahu Dyana he says, Welcome the Buddha Allah Allahu Allah. Yeah, who will be invalidating Aksana Surah Tulisa in your below one in that Cal Kibber our huduma

Allah subhana wa Tada says, Wirkkala or Booker Your Lord has decreed Allah Taboola you do not worship anyone besides him.

Just remember Allah subhanaw taala here in this particular verse, He is mentioning the worship of himself, though hate and oneness of Allah who subhanho wa Taala though hidden Allah taboo in a year, we'll worry Dany siRNA Your Lord has decreed do not worship anyone besides Him. And then your Lord has decreed He has commanded you to be Jen.

Till to be kind to be considerate and caring to as your parents will be lonely. Dania Cerna

Tauheed of Allah worshipping of Allah has been mentioned side by side has been mentioned next to looking after your parents being carefully considered towards them, and being kind to them and serving them. And then what does Allah subhanaw taala say, in May of Lohana in the Cal Keba or huduma, ocular Houma if one of them whether your mother or whether your father or even both of them, one of them have both of them in your lifetime. If they attain if they reach old age, if they become old in myoglobin or in the CalChamber or huduma or Killa, Houma one of them, or both of them, then what Allah subhanaw taala tells us a few commands, he says, Look, first two or negative things he

says don't do these things. For now that will Lahoma off. Don't even say the word of now this is an Arabic word, it really means don't even say a word of contempt. Nothing as minut as saying, you know, like in English, we might say something like, you know, don't take you know, don't don't just say, you know, I sometimes parents tell you sometimes the father says, go and do this. Oh, no man, you know, telling me to even that Allah says don't even do that for that the hula hula oath. Nothing.

And, and Allah subhanaw taala mentioned that remember, this is generally the case whether your parents are 28 or 35, or 40, or 50, or 60, whatever. But in Diablo one nine the timekeeper, the reason why Allahu subhanho wa Taala mentioned old age here is because normally generally, you know your parents they become they become a bit unreasonable when they Yeah, when the old, it's natural, you know, you're creating Allah creates us with barf. We are mentally unstable, we are in need of other people, when we're young, when we're babies, when we're children. We grow up, we go up the hill, and we go down the hill, it's going back in bad shape. It's like, you know, the example I get

given a few times I don't know, if you do you know, do you guys know what log flume is? Do you have these, you know, theme parks in England, we have the theme parks, we have a log flume. It's really, really good. You know, right? It's like small boats, you go up, okay, and then you go, and then you go down a certain dip? Do you would you call that here? Do you have you have

in Canada,

Canada's Wonderland, maybe you can go there and check it out. You know, you go up and then is a sudden dip. Seriously, that's life. That's life. You know, when you're growing old, you're going up, up, up. And now nowadays average is like 60. So you go up 30. And then going down. When you're 31. You're not that you want you're 2928 27 you're going down. And sometimes you just take a leap, you know sudden down. That's life. So usually a small you know, 5060 years average average is like 5055 nowadays. So when your parents become old, Allah says you have to look after your parents generally anyway. But when they old, they become like children. They'll agitate you they'll they'll ask for

unreasonable things they'll just to generally be, you know, unreasonable and in inappropriate towards you. Don't be nice sometimes to have Subhan. Allah is saying, Look, even in that case, in that situation, for the taco Lahoma off, do you not Evans even say a word of contempt? Nothing. What I turned to her Huma, don't rebuke them. Don't harm them in any way. And then Allah say these two things do not do. Don't say woof, don't rebuke them. Don't slander them. Don't swear at them. Don't say bad things to them. The hadith says whoever curses their parents, Allah curses them. A child who curses learn Allah whom Allah Allah away, Allah has curses on the one who curses his parents. So

don't do none of that. And what should you do? Allah tells us Wakulla Houma colon Karina, say to them a gentle word Allahumma colon Karima. In speak to them in a gentle, nice polite way. That's the way of addressing your parents. In a gentle way. What are the hula Hula, hula, Hula, hula Colden Karima. And then Allah says walk fellow whom Jana Hallo Lumina Rama. Lower to them. Be lower to them. The wing of general halili of humility meaning Be humble. Be humble towards your parents. When you talk to your parents. Look up to them, be humble. Give them the position, give them the rank give them the status, give them that high MACOM that Allah has given them over you Wafi the Lahoma

Jana Hello Lumina Rama welcome Rob Burnham. Hoonah and this is a beautiful dua that all of us should make the call Rob Burnham Houma and say, Rob Burnham whom Come on, Rob. Diane is Avira. Oh,

My Lord, have mercy on my parents, your ham Homer. Come on Rob Dyani Sahira this is this have mercy on them due to the fact that they looked after me when I was young. When I was a baby, when I was a child when I was in need of them, I was helpless. I mean, when children are babies, imagine, you know, they're helpless. It's parents bringing you up. And then when they grow old, they need you. So this is payment time, you need to look after your parents, your parents and talking to the children remember going to their parents as well. But your your parents, you are crying in the middle of the night you woke up 25 times in the middle of the night, when you were a three month old baby, your

mother still woke up and gave breastfed you and gave you buttermilk.

Your mother had to change in nappies like 10 times a day, 20 times a day. Still no complain. And now the old you if you have to do certain things were parents, you must do them this, this is the basic that you can do. This is the basic hearken right that we owe to our parents. Now, there's a story mentioned, you must have heard this story. It's a famous story. Some of the scholars have mentioned I don't know how true it is. But they say that there was this person sitting, you know, those old man who had reached old ages, very old. And he was in a garden and his son was, you know, he studied and this and that. And he came back and one day was sitting in the garden with his young 30 year old

son. So his dad was old, you know, in his 70s 80s. He said, Son, you know, a crow came and sat on the tree said, Son, you know, what's that on the tree? You know, that looks like a crow.

After 10 seconds sign? What's that on the tree?

I think yeah, it's a crow. After a few seconds. So what's that on the tree? I told you the crow. Fourth time ago, Son, what's that on the tree? Don't you my head when I'm telling you? I've told you Dad, you know how many times you're gonna ask me. I call you Yeah, Dad, you know, it's crew. Five times. So the dad, he heard this. He got angry at the father. After two, three minutes. He went outside the house and he came back with a diet. I took a diary out. And he went turn the pages to about 30 years back and said Look, son readers who read it in 19 Such and Such my son was four years, three years old. In the same garden. He asked me there's a crow came onto that tree and asked

me 25 times, Dad, what is this? And I told him 25 times this is a crow.

Imagine, you know as a son that you know he couldn't tell your father five times that this was a crow the father 25 times each time you know better son Will my beloved son Yeah, Buddha. Yeah, this is this is a crow. And he was taking pleasure in telling your son.

This is the right that we owe our parents, young people seriously. Don't you know if you've done any of these things, seek forgiveness if you've, you know, hurt their feelings. seek forgiveness and I'll tell you sometimes you know love the brothers say that. But our parents like they they're oppressive and they'd like this and the lie that I'm going to talk about that as well. And time is very short. But you know there's a hadith Which Imam Al Bukhari Rahim Allah Allah Allah in his double Morford when I saw this hadith, you know, he's mentioned it's from, say, Dona Abdullah, Hebrew Abbas Radi Allahu anhu, where he said that the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he, he

says that it's under the chapter Barbu Burel Valley then we'll invite Amma who that chapter regarding being good to your parents, even if they're oppressive, even if they are oppressive and they harm you. Still you be good to them under that title under the chapter heading and then he brings the Hadith where the messenger whether it's heaven Abdullah in our bus relates, it's it's the statements aren't alive in our bus which he understood from the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said Mermin Muslim in LA who wanted Daniel's while he then a Muslim man who used to be really him and that's even Illa Fatah Hala who Babine mineral Jana, no child, no son, no daughter,

who wakes up in the morning bigs good serves his parents with the hope or reward from Allah Who subhanaw taala. Then if he does that, to those of Jana and Paradise open for him, and then the Hadith says Wayne kind of widen for wide even if it's one of you, you have one parent alive, and you'd be good to them each morning. The door of paradise opens for you. When AHA Baba AHA Houma la mera la Allahu Anhu Hatha Yoga Anhu. The hadith says that if he, if he, you know harmed or if he

caused his parents to be displeased, and they were displeased for him from him, that Allah subhanho wa Taala his Lord and Creator is displeased from him until he does not go and make his parents happy. And then you know, the main part of this hadith what I want to tell you that somebody asked he said, What in vadoma who, if his parents are displeased and happy?

Your Allah will not be happy until you you don't go on please your parents. Somebody asked What about what

In Bala Ma, who, even if his parents are oppressive, even if they committed volume, even if they were oppressive and suppressive, even if they, you know, did not give his rights, the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam in the Hadith, which is from Abdullah Abbas, he said, we're in balama. Even if your parents are oppressive, remember brothers and sisters, parents, Allah Who Subhana Allah, Allah has given them this rank and position they have been Allah, you know, Allah has made them an external means of us coming into this world, that in itself is a great rank and position for them. This is not a transaction, you know, when you be good to parents, it's not a transaction. It's not

like Dad, if you're good to me, I'll be good to Mom, if you're good to me, I'll be it's not a child, you're not you're not buying and selling anything here. It's not like you know, your payback time. You have to whether they're good or bad, if they are bad, that's between them and Allah subhanaw taala, they have to answer for whatever they do in the Agra they'll be punished for it, wherever between them and Allah, but as a son, as a daughter, we have responsibility. Regardless, that doesn't mean I'm not saying you just you know, take all the oppression and all the punishment and that's it. You don't have a right to defend yourself, you can just get yourself killed. No, that's

not what I'm saying. You have a right to avoid harm from yourself without a doubt. But remember, even if they are being oppressive than they deserve this right? Just for the mere fact that they were used as a means by Allah subhanaw taala, for your existence for you coming into this world, simple fact. It's not a transaction, whether they are good or not, you don't wait for that. And seriously, you know, in this world, anything that we do with anyone, the general principle and remember, this brothers and sisters, is a very important principle, the general principle of relationships, you know, why we have too many problems in the society and conflicts and quarrels and

disputes and argumentation and, and breaking of ties. I tell you one major reason and the major remedy for it, the main reason is that we expect too much. We expect we do things with the wrong intention, we expect people to do things for us. Allah subhanaw taala Islam tells us we have this golden word, the sub, the sub mean means we do whatever we do for the sake of Allah for the pleasure of Allah. That's the intention. We don't want anything you good to your parents, for the sake of Allah, you're good to your children, for the sake of Allah, you're good to your spouse, your husband, your wife, it's for the sake of Allah, whether they are good to me or not. That doesn't

matter if someone's good back to me. That's a bonus. 100 Allah Subhan Allah, Allahu Akbar, it's great. I didn't expect it better. hamdulillah it's good. If I'd if I don't get anything in return, fine. If we live our lives like that, seriously, we'll have a better society. And you know, when you don't expect anything, you'll be happy as well. And I've mentioned this on many occasions, you'll be happy because you will never be sad because you were not expecting anyone to do anything for you anyway. So you know, if you don't expect anything, and then that person did not come and do whatever whatever. That's a you'll never be sad. You'd be a happy person. Remember this golden rule. So

anyway, parents here, we must look after them. They are our means of entering genuine paradise Sahih Muslim the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said early on fourth, Amara, Lima and fourth, Amara Lima and for who? Let that person be humbled in just who? He said, Man, you know, the one who found and who who man adorkable way here and they'll Cuba who found his parents in an old age for them. Yeah, the whole agenda. And he was not able to enter Paradise, this person is in great loss. Because it's very easy. If you find yourself in a situation where you will you have parents who are old. And it's one of the simplest, and the easiest ways of entering paradise and Jana, seriously, one of the

easiest ways of entering paradise, you have to serve them, you look after them, make more of them, serve them, be kind to them, be gentle to them, don't harm them in any way, shape, or form have a lot of sovereign patients. That's your ticket agenda. That's your ticket to paradise. And so there are a lot of loads of Hadith and texts, just one verse I mentioned. And and we know many stories, you know, the famous story always, apparently, you must have heard of his story, who has a colony for the Allahu Anhu. And I don't want to mention it because the time is short, he left the

position. And he left this great rank of being a companion of the messenger Salallahu Alaihe salam for the simple reason of looking after his mother. He was alive in the term of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wasallam, who was living in Yemen in a place called Karim. And he actually sent a message to the messenger of allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, You know what, I want to come and visit you imagine, you know how to live just imagine being a Sahabi, a companion, the messenger settle and he said, Yeah, Rasul Allah, messenger of Allah. He never saw him. The message was sent. I have an old mother, that she needs me that I look after her, but I want to come and visit you. If it

was someone like us, you know

When would you ever get the chance of visiting the Messenger of Allah you know, we go to Hajj and Umrah we know when once in a time you know our parents, we don't even care we go all over the place. We think we're doing good Islamic Works has gone ask someone even going in the path of Allah if your parents are not happy the ruling then go and ask a chef. Go and ask him if you're gonna He's gonna I'm gonna ask the Imam of the mosque. Can I go and seek knowledge? Can I go in the path of Allah? Can I do this? Can I do that if your parents are not happy? You can't the messenger SallAllahu wasallam somebody came in us the Messenger of Allah. I want to go for jihad. In the path of Allah.

He said, Don't you have a bologna? Hayyan Do you have your parents alive? Who said yes, do they need us? You said yes. For FEMA for Jehovah. Your reward of jihad is in looking after your parents. And one says I'm traveling in the path of Allah I'm going out to my parents are crying. He said go back to your parents. The Hey Coomer make them smile. Come up Keita, Huma like you made them cry, go and make them smile. So there are rules even if your parents are non Muslims. When Tjahaja Allah and to Shrek be Marisa kabhi Fela tutor Houma. Dunya ma rufa, even if they are non Muslims, if they are polytheists, if they don't believe in Allah Subhan Allah Allah, Allah says in the Quran was Sahiba

Houma. Fede, dunya meroofer Be good to them, consider towards them in this world. don't obey them, of course, you can't if they force you to leave Islam, you can't obey them and that there's a ruling about obedience, which I'll probably talk about anyway. So, seriously, young people, these are great rites our parents have lay you know, be gentle, you know, when you talk, so you're gonna have overall of the Allahu Taala and who he mentioned that

he saw once a person walking with someone he said, he said to me, said marhaba Minka who's who's this guy with you? He said how the FBI This is my father said he's your father. And he said lead to send me he beats me. Don't call your dad by his name. This is not a cultural thing. This is either Abdullah of Satan Oklahoma or the Allahu Anhu say, later send me he BS me.

I'm gonna give him the respect. Yes, he is your friend. Parents need to be friends with children but they do have the degree above seriously this is the Islamic understanding wherever anybody else tells you. Let us or me be it's me. He will attempt she a mama who? Baba hooray. Radi Allahu Anhu. May Allah be pleased with him. He said him. He said don't walk ahead of your father. You walking in the masjid behind your father, let your father let your father exit the masjid and to the masjid opened the door for him. Let the father enter first. Let them share mama who don't walk ahead of him. What attention is cobbler who when you come to a gathering of Buddha or the Allahu Anhu says,

don't sit down before him. Let him sit first then use it. These are the rights for our parents. Seriously, we live in a time where all these things you know, one by one we're losing them. We make dua for our parents. That's a great duty. Like the Hadith the verse of the Quran were called robber Houma. Camerata many do us seriously many do us like the prophets made Allah mentions them in the Quran like you know, Bill fairly well he validates this is a right as well but this famous do our we should all remember memorize if you don't know, you know, seriously memorize it now. Ask someone and take it out. It's in the Quran for Rob Durham, Houma. Come on, Rob, Diane is of era and I mentioned

something else, you know, say you do not have a horror or the Allahu Anhu you know, his habit was he used to live with his mother. He used to love his mother. And his mother used to live in the next room every day when he used to exit his house. His to when he used to leave to go out to work or to study whatever. He used to go to his mother's door outside the mother's door. And he used to say, a center more rd Camilla Omata Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh Oh, my beloved mother Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu so she used to say from inside what Ali como Salah Mia buena yo rahmatullah wa barakato Oh, my beloved son y equals salaam wa rahmatullah wa barakato. And then say

the Navara the Allahu Anhu said he used to say Rahima Kyla, who? Rahim Allah who come out of beta is Avira. All my mother Allah have mercy on you as you because of you. You bought me up and cherish me when I was young? You know, the vessel the Quran, rob the humble Malcolm Robinson is Avira, right Rahima killer who Kamara Bethenny cerebra, Allah have mercy on you, because of the fact that you cherished me you nourished me, you brought me up when I was young, and she used to respond by saying from inside, Rahim McCullough who come up Bertone. Kabira Allah have mercy on you as you are very considered kind and caring towards me when I'm old.

Every day and when he used to return again, do have the mother same thing again As salam o Allah, Quran, Allah and the same thing used to repeat this isn't the other OMAFRA of Imam Al Bukhari, Rama Hola. Hola, Daniel. So there are many rights and responsibilities and seriously if anybody has dis has harmed or upset their parents today, go and seek forgiveness if they're if you're if you're here with your parents right now.

After my talk seriously, please go and say, Dad, please forgive me and seek forgiveness and make a firm intention resolution never, never to do anything regardless of what they do or what the what they're up to what whether they give your rights to you or not. That's the job and responsibility that I will I'm talking about right now. But seriously, seek forgiveness. If you've got time right now, if your parents are alive, a lot of people they don't have that time. They don't have that opportunity. They don't have that chance because they realize too late. The parents have left this world. And then they you know, when your parents leave this world, that's when you think, oh, you

know what, I didn't serve my parents. I didn't look after them. I didn't take care of them. I wasn't considerate towards them. I was very bad to them. I mean, some people seize the day, let alone serving them. They they there are people who don't even talk for months and years. I just cannot understand how somebody cannot even speak they can't be on speaking terms with their own parents. Are all the biller How can that ever be happen? You know some people see this they don't talk to them you know real parents not even step real parents because of art because of a conflict they had about some few dollars. Seriously there's a case that came to me or brother came and those slip are

like three 400 pounds issue or something. The son and the father they have not been on speaking terms for like two years. Because of 400 pounds. I said you know what? Just talk I'll give you 400 pounds.

Seriously 400 pounds, two years no conversation, no talking breaking off ties, which is Battiato rhyme. One of the greatest sins learned Hello Jana, Ducati, Orion, the one who breaks ties the Hadith says Who shall never enter shall not enter paradise. Liat Hello Jana, Ducati rhyme

so don't realize this when your parents leave this world because then it's too late. But even then it's not too too late. It's too late but it's not too too late.

It's too late but not too too late. There are there are ways of addressing this and correcting this even if your parents don't think if your parents have gone then you still have certain ways like the ALMA mentioned make send rewards read recite some Quran do good deeds Rosa truck out of Nashville is follow up send rewards to them make dua for them there's a hadith as well about this that you know a dua Oklahoma Lister for Allah Houma makes that far for them. Somebody came as the messenger of allah sallallahu sallam said, yeah Rasulullah my parents have passed away, what can I do to benefit them you say make dua for them. supplicate for them seek forgiveness from Allah for them. We're in

further Halima and if they were intending and wanting to do certain things fulfill those desires of this they want you to probably like you know give someone money or build a building or wanting to do something in their lifetime and they were not able to do so do that for them. And number four, he said or number three he said what a cara Musa the HEMA

honor their friends, that's a way of honoring your parents if they've left this world. So, there are many rights and responsibilities and you know seriously we need to

wait for parents are alive, serve them get the DUA from them, you know, they do i is accepted one of the three two hours that were to myself here the hour to validate only

and that our autonomous Blum Center for diverting Mr. jabbing la Shukla Hoonah three types of door are they accepted and they shall never be rejected by Allah one is the dua the supplication of the father or the mother parents for the children. And likewise, you know, the fair parents will hear they're really happy and you know, thinking about its parents who attends now it's your turn.

can see the old people you know, they're loving it. But remember, my you know, old friends, Islam, everything comes in a package. Some parents, the only verses they know unlearn of the Quran is Medora book alert, I will do it. Every time they know like all these verses and Hadith. It's, it's some parents actually forget and even realize that children have rights.

Seriously, some parents never really forget, they just think that I'm the fall on the bus that said, I am the big fat boss, you know, the cruel one. So whatever I do, that's it goes it's my rule my kingdom. You know, I'm the boss and the commander in chief and the dictator here.

It's not like that. There is so much emphasis in the film Quran he was so nutty, about children about about valuing children, seriously children, we need to value them. If you don't value your children, you will never be able to give them their rights. Children have been given to us as a trust as a Amana, from Allah subhanaw taala we have to preserve them. Allah has given us those people who don't have children. What they will do or give to have children.

It's an Amana and trust from Allah subhanaw taala therefore they must be treated well seriously. They must be good

When absolute and immense love, absolute immense love

in apps, they deserve the most love from a few. Good trimmer, being gentle towards them being merciful towards them being absolutely tender towards them, giving consideration to their comfort and I know young children and their children, young parents normally do that. But even when they grow up a bit always being give them time, share quality time with them, with you with your children. Take an interest in what they do when they study at the mall or mosque or the college or the university or wherever they are.

participate in the activities.

As he used to young people at that age they need they want love they crave. You know, young teenagers are that time for this for my older friends. They crave for love, they crave for attention, they crave for tenders, they want someone to help them they crave for assistance, and for guidance. And you know what, if they don't get it at home, what will happen? They go outside, they search for it outside, and then when they search for it outside and they go into the wrong hands. And then were the ones who complain my son my daughter left the path of Islam My son has been deviated My daughter has done this and my son's gone there and astray and this and that further

illuminate learn AFSA don't blame except your own self. If you didn't have time as a father as a mother for your own son or daughter. Because you were too busy you know doing business or making money. What benefit is in making money if you don't have the time to even spend with your child with your son or a daughter? Seriously?

This is what young children they need. They need the love and attention you we must really seriously give them the love and attention. We should always never never you know there are books written on this topic and I'll mention a couple of books at the end for you to read but there are books written specially for parents or machine now there's a really good book ideal mother ideal father I don't know if you've seen it I don't have the salad here. I'm not selling it I don't have the stole those don't worry. I'm not you know. But yeah, there might be in some store here. In all do. It's been translated into English really good sister. I've read both ideal mother for the mothers and ideal

father for the fathers. I've read both of them. Amazing books, it teaches you as a parent, how to look after your sons how to look after your daughters, how to how to address them, how not to be always angry and honest swearing or demonstrating slandering under like thinking and there's some kind of, you know, a worker or a server to you that they're there to serve you all the time. Don't you know, not slandering, they're not swearing at them not not talking to them in a way that they are useless.

You know, when that happens when we talk to our young children and they feel they get this inferiority complex. They feel they actually start feeling that they are useless. They are no good. That's it. Nobody wants them in a society and what they do they rebel and sometimes in the worst case scenario, they commit suicide. That's the main one of the main reasons why suicide is committed by young people because they feel useless because the home people everybody used to discard them. Everybody used to think you're useless. Especially when someone's not too bright. They need extra attention, care and love from the family from the grandparents. Because the messenger sallallahu

alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam, he used to love children amazing amount of love and tenderness and care and kindness and gentleness, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would show towards young people.

There are Hadith filled the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, even addressing them the Quran talks about how the other prophets would address the sons that would say yeah, buena, yah, yah, buena yella did Holloman bourbon Wildwood Holloman above him with a fire Rekha here to Sheikh Billa in a shaker lagoon, Arlene, yeah, Bonilla, Octavius salah, Oh my beloved son. That's the way that's the way to addressed address your children are just like addressing your parents in a good way, even with children. So anyway, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam numerous Hadith in this Muslim of Imam Muhammad the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi

wa sallam he also for Abdullah who obey the law or obey the law

what cathedral mean Benny Abbas the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to you know line up small children he used to love children's he can line them up. Abdullah obey the law and all these other children from the tribe of Bruna bus he used to line them all up and then he used to say he's to stand at this distance and you will say Mensa Ilya Fela hookah come on who's going to come to the first Whoever comes to me first I'll give him this or I'll give him that on all the children needs to rush and Hurry and run to the messenger SallAllahu wasallam first, una La La he were Corona Alba hurry he was sadly he they used to come fall onto his back on and on his chest. For your Kabila who

well does he become the messenger Sallallahu radiocentre would kiss each one of them he would hold them tight. And this is with just general children.

with his own grandchildren Hassan and Hussein are the Allahu Anhu. Many Hadith the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam once he held the hands of Hassan and Hussein, you know, one of his grandsons, both by by the palm of the hand, and he was lying lying on the ground and he made them sit, you know, their feet was on his feet. So he was lying back. Okay. And then they were standing and then he said to them, you know, Erica, climb up, Erica climb up, so they climbed, climb, you know, all the way until their feet was on his chest. sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, Hassan was standing on the chest of the messengers that Allah Allah salah, and when he came to me, he said, If

Dafa open your mouth and then he kissed him on his mouth, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam, he used to kiss his young grandchildren. This is one of the Sunnah we've married as we have forgotten the Sunnah of kissing,

kissing our children kissing our parents, young children, when you go home, go and kiss the hands of your, of your father or your mother kissed her forehead. It shows love, affection and mercy. And likewise, you know, parents show this tenderness and this love the messenger SallAllahu wasallam, the famous Hadith

whenever he would go and visit his daughter, this is his daughter grown up daughter was married, when he would visit his daughter who was it was grown up daughter married. Fatima Radi Allahu anha. Whenever he would go, she would stand up, say the father model the Allahu Taala and her she would stand up, kiss the hands of the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and make him sit on her seat. And whenever she would go and visit her father, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he would stand up. Sometimes people say you can't stand up for others. Subhan Allah says Buddha, you know, how can there be a Buddha and the messengers Allahu alayhi wa sallam standing up, he stood up for

his own daughter kissed, he would kiss her hands, and then make her sit on the you know, main place of his his own position, his own place his own daughter, that's the way to show your love, even towards your daughters of married off your sons. This is this is what we call harmony. This is what we call peace. This is what we call a tranquil society. And then you the results are far reaching, because then it helps the whole community and you're able to do more effective works for the for the for the humanity for the society at large. But if we're busy all the time, fighting, curling, arguing this, that and the other and she said this and he said that and he was saying this and she

was saying that she was gossiping, she was backbiting and then that's it. We don't have time for it. We don't have a time to read a book because every time you're on the phone, especially sister sorry sisters, you know, but sisters have this

habit, sometimes long conversations for two hours, three hours, four hours just doing nothing except backbiting and sometimes brothers as well they do other kinds of things more common within the brothers but this is quite common son and the sisters and you know in England, we have all this free minutes 100 minutes 1000 Now like you get on your cell phones, mobile phones or cell phones, I mean kind of cell phones. You have all these minutes 1000 minutes, I call them 1003 Backbiting minutes

that's that's where it is wastage of time. One gossiping talking about the whole world except your own self.

This is all problems in society. Be efficient. Look after your time, read books, do something effective for the community, study Islam, help humanity serve the community do something beneficial. So this was a messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he would kiss Hasson are saying are the Allahu and Hoonah and many others who would kiss sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. There was one spread a village of Kim to the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he said in a Kentucky Derby Luna Sabina Kumala no code below whom you know USPC you guys you kiss your children. We don't do that. He said the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he said our Amulek and as our Allahu in Colombia

Kurama What can I do if Allah has taken away mercy from your heart? Tough luck. You don't have mercy we have met in our hearts. Now the time somebody has said he saw the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam kissing

has an unforeseen

occurrence in harvests. We're sitting by the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and he said, I have 10 of these and I've never kissed one of them ever in my life. The messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Mala, your Humla you're the one who does not show mercy. Allah will not show mercy on to him. This is the mercy if you want Allah's mercy towards you, you need to show that Rama and that mercy to to to your children so and the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam has never it's never been reported that he's ever smacked or abused or hit his children. His daughters or his grandchildren anyone there's a hadith documented, but that doesn't mean that you have you can't you never know you

never like

be you know, not aggressive but you that doesn't mean that you just always show them extra extreme love despite them doing anything or whatever and even doing things that are unlawful and taking wrong paths and having bad habits and lying and things like that. No without a doubt and

when they when they are committed mistakes and errors as a moral be as a father, you have the duty. But remember there are ways of correcting and that's why I read that book. Ideal father, it teaches you how as a father, you correct in light of the guidance of the messenger SallAllahu wasallam how you correct the mistakes of your young children, how not to, you know, when they're doing something wrong, don't go behind their back and give them a smack. Don't do that. Don't talk to them. Then remember, never do anything out of anger. If you're angry as a father. That guidance says that don't, don't say anything, wait until your anger cools down. Then in a nice gentle way, you know,

advise them with love and affection that listen to give them you know, sometimes like the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, once somebody made a mistake, and he came rushing, Hasting hurrying into the message of the messenger SallAllahu Sallam and that he started, you know, praying salah, you know, like outside the mosque, and then while He was praying, he came and slowly and then he came and joined. And so the messenger Salallahu Alaihe Salam is, smiled at him explained to me in a very gentle way. And then he said, zadock Allah Who Harrelson wallet out, I completely understand you really have this eagerness of joining the Juma and doing something good. It's really, really

good. But don't do this. Because this is not appropriate smoke until you come to the stuff and then pray like that if your son has done something wrong, if there's only a positive, talk about the positive, and then just correct the wrong thing. Don't Don't you know, there are ways of of correcting the mistakes committed by your children and the bad habits they have with love with affection. It will have an impact on them, rather than being angry and slapping them and hitting them or rebuking them and swearing at them. When they swear.

Then we get angry. Because why do they swear because I've learned from the parents. You know, this is one father, his his kid is swearing and his swearing don't swear and swearing at him.

His his kid was playing with you know, his friends outside and you're swearing and the father sitting inside the house. And he's telling him I've told you so many times not to swear, and swearing at the same time.

will lead by example, lead by example. One more Urlacher was solid, it was Tamira Allah, Allah says that you if you I mean you can't expect your son not to smoke if you're a smoker with a cigar in your mouth. You know what, don't smoke here. Don't smoke. You got a cigarette in your mouth. Are you telling your child not to smoke? We're gonna stop smoking. So we have to lead by example. If you want our sons and children to offer Salah we have to offer Salah we have to be good Muslims. So so these are the rights of parents usually and then you know, there's there's so much mentioned, you know, to be just as a father and as a mother as parents, and this is even we have young people who

have young children and for them as well. When your children slowly when they grow up, and when they reach they're gonna grow up very soon. You will have to be just we have to be just towards them. This is one of the very important rights that we owe the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said it lubaina Hola de can be just amongst amongst your, your children. It's one of the greatest and one of the grave crimes and one of the greatest of sins for parents to be unjust for parents to prefer one son over the other one child over the other. It Akula Feola lubaina Norman bin Bashir Radi Allahu Taala and who may Allah please read the one of the Sahaba companion, he came to the messenger

sallallahu alayhi wa sallam sejarah Salah you know I've given one of this my son I've given him a gift. I want you to be a witness. He said our Kula Wallah Deacon helter Mitra who have you given all your other kids the same gift? He said no jasola said then go I don't want to become a witness on your giving of this gift why? He said because for any luxury Jordan because I am never a witness to oppression to oppression This is oppression he gives one a gift give the other one the gift don't stop praising one son once clever you always praising him all this when you go to somebody's house my son you always praise the other one no one's gonna feel you know left out. He's gonna become a

you have this condition of inferiority complex. And that's why the hill in society you will rebel against the society don't prefer and especially not, you know, this issue of preferring the son over the daughter. I don't know where that's come from. That's got nothing whatsoever to do with Islam. Nothing whatsoever. It's pre Islamic Arabia in the days of ignorance when they used to bury the young children daughters alive with a bush shooter. I heard him Bill Onsala. Would you almost want them over Kaleem tomorrow? Minako Minakami means so Mr. Bucha Robbie, are you in SQL Allah Who Ninomiya de su Vitara? Allah Sam I know temp transmission. That's pre Islamic Arabia, ignorance,

young daughters preferring sons over over daughters. Allah says yeah, her booty mania show in earth. We have walima Yeshua Quran, Allah gives some people sons, some people daughters, never as a young parent be despondent. Never be sad if you have young if you have daughters, rather, you know

Abdullah robotic somebody came to him and said, you know my I have a daughter. He said if don't really any mother or father who have daughters first in the house, they are Mubarak they have blessings in the house and BIA who will benefit all the prophets that were fathers of daughters. Look at the messenger Salallahu Alaihe salam for daughters.

You know what they had daughters, all the prophets of Allah Allah subhanahu wa Tada

some some people, you know, Allah, this one issue came to me where the husband was so angry this man crazy man, I call him a crazy person. I don't know, where his brains gone. He's actually threatening is to divorce his wife because she's only considering daughters. ceaseless is in England. He's just he's threatening. Someone will get angry. Which isn't your wife's fault that you only have daughters, of course. Now those of you know, in pre Islamic Arabia, there was this person called Abu Hamza

not the terrorist Abu Hamza we've had recently in the news, but there's another person called Abu Hamza.

And I don't know if he has one on us, by the way.

He was very angry because his wife would only give birth to daughters. So he became very angry and he said, You know what, I'm going to separate you I'm living in another house. So after a few months living in another house one day he was passing by his wife's, you know, house, so she saw him and she's read a few lines of poetry's she said Marie OB OB Hamza. Tina Yellville Phil Beatty lady Yelena. What's wrong with Abu Hamza? He doesn't come to us. What's wrong to my husband? What's wrong with him Leia Tina, he doesn't come to us your Lilu Phil Beatty lady Alina he lives in the house which is next to us a lot the burner Allah Nellie the Bernina Is he angry because we don't give I

don't give birth to any sons to Allah He Murphy Idina by Allah that's not even that's not in our hands. And then she said, why Nana, Nana wine Nana who can deliver our ina we're just like a land for people to cultivate for my husband to cultivate. Dumbo to mothers Rufina whatever you cultivate, it grows, it's your seed that you're growing into the land to blame your own stuff as a husband. So this injustice towards daughters one of the greatest and greatest of crime seriously and then there are many rights of I'm going to conclude but there are many rights like you know, giving them halal food in the house as parents Halla spending on and we spend, but we need to spend Halal on them.

Bring Halal income within the household, spend on them, feed them, your children, they deserve it and do it for the sake of Allah to please Allah. It's not like an investment. Let me invest my money when they when when I'm all the return back. You know, it's like a business deal. It's not a business deal, just for the sake of Allah subhanaw taala and the greatest responsibility and that I could do another talk on this system. separate topic is Islamic upbringing, therapy of our children as parents, you have Lavina Herman who and for our our

effort, putting the effort behind the work tasked tirelessly looking after your children, bringing them on the path of Islam, educate them, remember, educate them secularly as well as Islamically both