Dealing with Difficulty #22 Frustrating Situations
Date:
Channel: Mufti Menk
Series: Mufti Menk - Ramadan 2024 - Dealing with Difficulty
File Size: 9.15MB
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AI Generated Summary ©
The speaker discusses coping mechanisms for difficult situations, including bearing faith and subhanous behavior. They recommend taking the capacity of Allah to put everything in position to improve one's behavior and avoid feeling frustrated. Finding a scoping mechanism to address frustration from seniority and bringing it up to the speaker's attention is key. The importance of family and helping those with frustrations and pain is emphasized, and advice is given on how to handle them.AI Generated Transcript ©
At times
people cause for us
problems whereby we become frustrated,
be it at work
or at home,
at the masjid at times or anywhere else.
The frustrations that we have to deal with
and we become so frustrated because
they frustrate us
in many different ways.
Again, and we must repeat, whenever dealing with
difficulty,
primarily,
we talk of the coping mechanisms and the
remedies.
And one of the ways to cope, the
biggest and best way is to bear what
is known as sabr,
to connect with Allah, to pray to Allah,
to remember Allah, to improve your
yourself in your acts of worship
and to try and improve yourself as a
person.
So these are coping mechanisms based on faith
and subhanAllah
to eat healthy,
to be able to sleep well,
to be able to,
not worry about all of this
is something
that is highly
recommended.
Easy for me to say, not worry about
all of this. But let me tell you
something.
As we develop in life, we have to
realize
again that Allah has given us a capacity.
Do you do your best?
Did you try your best? Do you use
the capacity Allah has given you
to put everything in position to be able
to come out of this? You know, people
frustrating you about something.
What have you done? Have you tried to
speak to them? Have you tried
to speak to someone else?
Have you dealt with the matter? What exactly
is it?
Have you tried in this way or that
way? Sometimes we pay a little bit of
a price, and some people can come out
and cause more damage. But
if we're not prepared to do something about
it,
then surely we have ourselves to blame. Because
Allah says, I gave you a capacity. I
gave you a brain.
You could have thought, you could have done
this and this. Seek my help. Meaning start
in the name of Allah. Bismillah in the
name of Allah. I want to do this
thing. Oh, Allah, I seek your help
and then go for it.
And when you try,
don't make the situation worse or try not
to make it worse by getting emotional.
Try not to scream and yell.
Try not to swear and be vulgar.
Rather, calm down. Remember, it's about development of
yourself.
It's about development of your character and conduct.
It's about being the best version of yourself.
And
in a way, you have to show them,
subhanAllah, that you know what?
This is what it is, and this is
how it should be. This is how you're
frustrating me. In fact, nowadays, what's happening is
if a woman
is putting on her hijab,
or a man is a Muslim,
and he's working in certain places,
some of his colleagues,
for whatever reason it might be,
perhaps is frustrating
them because of the fact that they're either
Niqabi or Hijabi, or they have a beard,
or they're Muslim
or they belong to a certain ethnicity,
it is happening.
And I cannot just go and stop all
of them and say, guys, don't do that.
But I can
give you the scoping mechanism that I've already
mentioned a part of.
And I tell
you, we need to speak to seniors. Sometimes
it's the seniors who do it. So we
have a limit.
A limit beyond which perhaps we have to
throw in a towel. Say for example, you're
working at a certain place,
and people are frustrating you because of your
hijab, people are frustrating you because you're a
Muslim,
you have to
remember, don't lose your values. Don't lose your
goodness because they are showing you some ugly
side of them.
Don't lose your goodness because they don't have
the goodness to show you.
Rather, be good, be kind, be firm, be
polite, do your work in the best possible
way, keep going,
try to ignore it. If you cannot, you
address it by speaking to seniors, and you
try and make it clear. If it's coming
from the seniors and it does in a
lot of cases, then you might want to
address it
by putting in a proper complaint
or seeing what exactly it is and how
far you could go. Maybe engage them, maybe
show them, maybe educate them. And then there
comes a point, like I said, where perhaps
if everyone there is or if those above
you, like seniority, the positions, those who've employed
you, those because it's an example of a
workplace,
you might have to throw in the towel
like I say, and at a certain point
you may have
to leave. If you do,
Allah is with you. You will never ever
suffer a loss with Allah.
Temporarily on earth, it might be. You might
be eating into your capital because you're not
earning anymore. This can also happen for people
who perhaps
might be say for example supporting Palestine,
and we all do.
So
people might
decide
to close your accounts. They might decide not
to do business with you. So be it.
It's one of those things. Take it in
your stride. Maybe you want to make mention
of it so that the others
who do support the cause, like we all
do, would then be proud of what happened
to you, how you stood up. Meaning be
proud of the fact that, look, it was
it was good for you not to give
up your values,
and you actually stood for what you were
supposed to stand for. Therefore, we will support
you.
And that's how it should be. So dealing
with this type of an issue, we need
to remember
we're a family.
We have to be.
And this is why
even if we do have differences amongst ourselves
in terms of jurisprudence
or a few differences here and there that
we do have.
On a broader level, we are believers who
are supposed to be a family.
The believers are 1 body, like 1 body.
If a part of it is in pain,
the whole of it is in pain. If
a part of it is complaining, the whole
of it
cannot sleep, cannot rest until
it is helped and dealt with. The sad
reality is
we are unable to do that in many
cases, and that's why we struggle. So until
we don't realize that we need the togetherness,
we're not going to solve many problems.
But
on on our personal capacities,
we will have to have hope in Allah,
keep trying, and those with sound mind will
definitely appreciate what we've been through, and they
will definitely appreciate
and support us
as a result of the withdrawal of support
from others.
For example, if you've lost your job and
there is another person who really has been
touched by what you went through, by right,
They should give you a job or they
should look after you or reach out to
you at least.
May Allah make it easy. May Allah help
us to do the right thing. And this
is why I say we always address 2
sides or more than 2 sides of the
issue.
1 is those who are the victims, 2,
those who are the observers watching,
The perpetrators as well, that's a third side
to it. And those who are, cheering on
the perpetrators,
that's another side to it. So we have
all these types of people in the world.
Look where you belong and look for those
who understand
that we belong
in one category of people. May Allah Almighty
truly help those who have these frustrations,
but at the same time, try not to
let it bother you because you have to
understand it's Allah. Allah has planned this out
in a way that when you have a
connection with him, he's going to test you.
And that test is
bigger when Allah loves
you more. Look at the prophets of Allah.
They went through so many tests loved by
Allah. They didn't ever say, Oh, Allah, why
did you put these tests in our lives?
They knew that that's what we're on earth
for, to go through challenges.
So if Allah's
decided that I'm not going to work here
anymore, I won't. I will leave, or perhaps
I might lose a contract or 2. No
problem.
But what I achieved as a result was
the pleasure of Allah.
Sometimes I might lose worldly,
temporary
loss. No problem. Like I say, it's okay.
Allah Almighty will guide us. He will help
us, and in a short span of time,
for as long as we were patient,
and for as long as we kept thanking
Allah and appreciating all his other favors upon
us, Allah will open the doors. And when
those doors open, you won't have any regret
for what you did. May Allah help us
all to stand up for the right causes,
and may Allah Almighty help us all whenever
we are facing
frustration
for different reasons. I've only tackled a few
aspects of it. That's because of limited time,
but I hope I've touched on some things
that would be relevant to many of us.
May Allah Almighty
bless you all, and may Allah Almighty grant
alleviation
to our brothers and sisters in Palestine
from the suffering that they are going through.
eternal bliss.
eternal bliss.