Your Child’s Password

In an hamdulillah Thailand on a screen over here and I still feel when I was a villa he taught me the unforeseen I will say yeah to Marina Marina de la la la la la la la, la la, la, la la la la la la la sharika or shadow no Mohammed Abu whenever you who are solo yeah you hola Nina. I'm an otaku la hapa Ducati moto nylon Tomasi moon. Yeah, you Hannah suta Cora Bakula de Vaca coming up, see ya da de Caminha Zelda, Baba Thurman humare gel and Kathy Rahmani

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after praising Allah azza wa jal and testifying that none is worthy of our worship and our utmost love and our unconditional obedience but Tim, the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in truth, His Prophet and his servant and His Messenger. And after reminding myself and you with the taqwa of Allah to live a life of consciousness and do the fullness and all of Allah subhanho wa Taala jela gelato.

And after Welcome my brothers and sisters to the house of Allah azza wa jal

let me say that all of us in our times could be very concerned about the directions in which we see society going. The opening up of the world, the liberalisation of values, the permissiveness of things.

And we care so much about ourselves and our loved ones at large. And so many of us, our children, and our young children in particular, all the ideas they soak up and how in the world I can rescue them from these ideas.

We tried to bribe them sometimes by buying them things and winning them over, we tried to punish them sometimes to try to scare them straight away from these. But so much of it seems to just not break through. And we wish there was some sort of cheat code or some sort of password where we can actually access their hearts and minds. And there certainly is, and one of the greatest of them, you need to know, one of the greatest answers and passwords is just listening. If you want to input something, same way with the device, you have to log in first you have to insert the password that will open up that system for you. You listening to your children, you listening to your loved ones,

does that a great deal. I mean, think about it, just someone that does not like to feel incompetent, someone wants to feel confident in themselves. When you allow one of their suggestions to be accepted. Your child, you know, not all the time, but I want to wear this and love that when you actually let them and you act on that suggestion that fulfillment they get makes them want to preserve that relationship. I can get more of this from that source. And even when people whether it's children or even your colleagues in the masjid or at work, when they say something that you don't feel is the brightest idea, but the way you want to redirect it is gentle.

That will keep them suggesting keep them letting you know what's really on their mind. So you will still have a chance if not persuading them on this point. You can persuade them on the next point, but you leave the doors open you leave the system unlocked. We said before that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was able to rationally persuade the young man and say to him, would you accept it for your mother for your sister for your doctor for your aunt? But why did the young man feel that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam could be approached with something so outrageous? Let me fornicator because he saw time and time again that he was approachable. He would listen no

matter what I had to say.

And this approachability, this interest in people genuine concern in people we can all detect it and we all want it. There's a very famous book, one of the most famous books in the social sciences on English language is a book called How to Win people and influence people how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. And in a nutshell, the summary of that book is that people do it all wrong. They try so hard to be interesting to others. I'll buy them something I'll be funny to be interesting. But the whole secret which could even be so much less effort, but people overlook it is not to be interesting, but to be interested in the person to listen to them care about that want to

know, pretend to want to know. That's how you win friends and you influence people and you get the access code to them. And this is not a new age technique. This is not a breakthrough discovery. This is a forgotten lost art. It's in the foreign in the sooner that's why the early generations of Islam practice that so well. Don't we find in the Quran that Ibrahim Alayhi Salam said to his son in the era of in Miami and nearby

How can I see in my sleep that I have to slaughter you? It was revealing this to me fun little mother Tara. So he told me what do you think? And he listened to his son he was looking for something he was reading between the lines he wanted to ensure I'm not the only one submitting to Allah's command here and my son is rejecting we're both aligned. And so Okay, let's move forward. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam on so many occasions, but nsfx numatic are there left unsaid that my half brother ever made. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam stopped for him one day in the middle of the road and sat with him and said you are made MacFarlane navaid Oh, Ma, that's his name. What

happened to your little birdie, he had a pet bird. The young man was down he was depressed his pet had died.

The death of a small bird means nothing in our minds in the grander scheme of things where the prophet SAW Selim has battle plans and there are assassination attempts unfolding in front of him and against him day and night. And he conflicts between the tribes and judging between verdicts, people that owe people money and so on and so forth. To stop and listen seems to me nothing. It may mean nothing in the grander scheme of things, but it would mean everything to that person to hear them out and care to listen about their grievances that could serve you for a lifetime and benefit them for a lifetime. And that is why the early Muslims caught on and they understood this and they

valued Islam amplified Islam validated this concept respecting the minds of your peers of the youngsters, hearing them out.

Live neuroma said one time the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam asked the Sahaba what tree shujaa is most similar to the believer to the movement? He said and they all went far away, like they're talking about faraway trees and you know, sometimes the answer is right under your nose, kind of like the answer to how to access people today's hobo but the point is, he said they started mentioning trees from the desert that tree or how about this kind of tree? And he said and I felt like it was the palm trees, the one that's everywhere. The one under our nose in Medina, but because elders were there like Abu Bakar like I'm not his father, I couldn't speak. I didn't dare speak.

Then eventually the prophet SAW Selim said no to the palm tree. And so when we all went our separate ways, I said, Oh, my father, I said to Omar, I knew it was the palm tree. And I wanted to say it was the palm tree, but

you and double buckle and the elders being there I couldn't speak or almost said to him or the level on who low quintupled, if only you would have said it, like Canada have been ilium in Canada, it would have been so dear to me, for my son to be the one that suggests so to be in the gathering to be given a voice to be heard out. What do you think that does for the confidence of the law of neuroma and how the whole oma can benefit from that for his for the remainder of his lifetime? That's why social scientists nowadays they say that most children their talents are buried at eight years old by eight years old, most kids their talents will never resurface again. Why? Because no

one noticed them in time

to validate them to endorse them to invest in them. The password was just listening. It was not a real, it just required investing in human beings and hearing them out to solidify the relationship and make the best out of everybody. A whole lot of stuff a lot all the money

hamdu lillahi wa salatu salam ala Milena Viva La Ilaha Illa la hora de La Hoya shawanda Mohammed and Abu whenever you hora solo. And the early scholars of Islam took notice of this password

and built the glory of Islam using it.

Even though Josie Rahim Allah I believe it was he used to say that we are able to identify the genius child the Prodigy the from very early on the leadership qualities in the child by listening to them not even when we're conversing. Because sometimes kids prefer talking to kids people convert they prefer talking to other than you that's fine as well. It's still an opportunity to listen. He says when they're playing with each other, we listen for the child that says who's with me, who's on my team. We say this is a born leader and we invest in that and when the child says Who am I with who see my on who's gonna pick me, we know this one is a follower.

And this while it stands to true for children, there is still so much that can be used capitalized on from what I'm sharing here about the password to people's hearts and minds with adults as well. But one more example that comes regarding children very quickly. It was said that one of the earliest will thorns of Islam.

One of those in his intercourse a man probably from his inner circle, brought his son to the gathering one day and that's part of you know, the importance of you maturing through not only hanging out with those of your age

And so the halifa the Sultan wanted to give him a gift. So he gave him a chance to speak up. You know, at times people would come and they would try to fly through the king or the Sultan sometimes give them something just for their their kind words. Just I appreciate you. Thank you for the compliments and so he gave a freebie to the child or what he thought was going to be an easy answer a yes. And here. He told the child our eighth asset I'm in heaven cotton. Have you ever seen anything nicer than this ring?

Call Anam. aloeswood latifi ha.

He said yes, I've seen something nicer than this ring. The finger that's carrying it.

The ring does not make your finger pretty. Your fingers what decorates the ring.

So he was very impressed. And so he said to him,

are you Houma? Jamal Tao Khalifa t am the outcome what is nicer, the Palace of the Sultan Khalifa or your house?

He said to him in kennel halifa, to feed erina for their owner.

If you come visit our house, then our house despite its size will be nicer than your palace. Because you're decorates the place it's not the place that adds value to you. So he gave him like a huge monetary reward.

But with all of this said, How do we get people to open up? How do we get people how to listen, just quick advice as quick before I close in a minute or two. Number one, share with them so that they may share with you. In other words, the easiest example is the child one when you ask them, they wonder, are you concerned about me or suspicious of me? Did you do your homework? So no, tell them I had this trouble today. I had that issue today. consult them try to respect people's privacy will say I went through this today and what would you do in my place? share with them so they may share with you? This is number one.

Number two, they say use dynamic questions, not static questions. What's that the questions stiff questions, only a yes or no answer. They found that people studies showed they're more willing to speak up and take part in a conversation so that you can listen and find out what you need to know. When you ask them a question. That's not just a yes or no. Kind of like this child, He justified his answer, though the answer was not what was on this opens mine. So don't ask them yes or no questions. They're less uncomfortable when you give them this wide question and just let them explain. Let them open up.

The third thing is just work. invest in people, you know, social media, we keep talking about it because it has been so intrusive on our lives, is actually very high maintenance. The child is looking for attention looking for someone to be interested in them. And it's very hard because there's so much competition.

And so you actually do have an edge on people. The edges, you only have three four people I know it could be a struggle at home sometimes and there's not enough hours in the day, but try to show them here you go, here's the attention you want, here's what you're chasing, it's right here at home. So you do have leverage over this monster of a system that some people tried to look at it as the answer has always been with us The password is in our parameter arsenal. The cheat code is in our pockets if we reach for it, so May Allah subhanho wa Taala make us better listeners and help us understand what we need to understand to make the best out of ourselves and the people around us.

May Allah they'll just bring our families closer together. And may Allah is diligent, show us our flaws and help us purge them from our personalities and our lives. Aloha Molina ohana llama Filipina Nibbana was raffia Medina with a bit of them and I also now call me Catherine aloha mucha, Madonna Amata muslimeen or Hamilton Hamilton muslimeen Casa La La Silla Baraka Sheena VIERA Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi ultramarine