No Conflict in the Graveyards

Mohammad Elshinawy


Channel: Mohammad Elshinawy

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AI: Summary © A man named Zack tells a story about his father's grave, which he found him to be loneliness and regretful. He describes his experiences in the graveyard and how it has been a rough time for him, as he has been working through these experiences and hasn't had the luxury of being a two-way relationship. He also talks about the importance of maintaining a healthy relationship with family members and being a good father to his children.
Transcript ©
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Bismillah R Rahman ecom everyone, we begin in the name of Allah azza wa jal, and I asked him to allow you to find the time to finish this short clip. And to place it in my scale and your scale of good deeds every last one of us, Allah whom I mean. I'll keep it brief, but I visited my father's grave two days ago last Saturday.

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And it's always visiting the graveyards, a liberating experience that shatters you know, in our minds in our consciousness, the deception of this life and reminds us about how unpredictable it is how shallow its returns are.

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But this time, I found myself reflecting also, on the very common expressions of emotion I always find in myself and in people in the graveyards. They are always loneliness, expressions of regret,

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expressions of comfort that you're close to your loved ones, relatively speaking.

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But there's never any hostility in the graveyards, you'll never see anyone scolding their relatives or their parents in the grave. And why is that? It's because, at least with regards to our perceptions, as human beings currently living in this world, there has been an interruption in the relationship. Right. And so it's easy for you to not feel irritated, bothered, frustrated, because it's no longer a two way conversation, a two way relationship.

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And it got me thinking that we don't have that luxury in this life. That many times there is hostility and tensions between the people,

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you know, family members, community members, and we have to just work through it. Especially you know, thinking about the month of Shabbat and right now, and you know that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has been reported that he said, When Shaban is halfway through, Allah forgives the people except those that associate partners with him, and those who hold grudges against one another. And so we have to work through that, especially in this season. And you don't have the luxury of killing the relationship. That's the idea. The relationship is dead in the graveyard, there's an interruption and so there's no hard feelings. Well here you can't act like it's that you

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don't have that luxury even if you would like to Allah does not love that subhanho wa Taala then it got me thinking about the idea about treating our parents good. The end of the aisle that most of us never get to even the presenters, the preachers want to talk about it, which is, you know, lower the wings of humility to your parents.

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And don't express you know, frustration and resentment towards them. Well, that's unhelpful men don't like flare your hands and scold them. But then what does it say in the end, so profound, it says, What color Huma olan Karina and say to them kind words, noble words. That's profound, because I can avoid, you know, being arrogant with my parents, scolding my parents, flaring my hands in anger with my parents, by simply just not having to deal with them anymore. And I was telling you can't do that. He says, and you have to say to them, there has to be a moist, ongoing living relationship and say to them, kind words, say to them affectionate words. And you know that Allah is

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diligent always reminds the children to be good to the parents, and never reminds the parents to be good to the children because the parents are always good to the children. It is almost non existent, even though we may think otherwise as children. I myself five years after my father's death,

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I'm still learning that, oh, people just have different ways to express love. There are languages of love. Some people express it with warmth and compliments other people express it by being diehard, you know, tough. I'm not saying this is void of valid criticism. There's a balance, but that was coming from the right place. And you may only realize that 510 1520 years after the relationships are over. And so don't think that you have the right to wait till you understand the place where people are coming from, and the language they are speaking to you in for you to do your part in connecting with them without incurring harm on yourself but doing the bare minimums, especially if

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we're speaking about your immediate family members, your spouse, your children, most importantly, your parents. May Allah azza wa jal help us do right by our parents, and not shut the doors of his mercy

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in our faces due to us shutting the doors of the relationship between us and those that have rights upon us. Alone to me, Zack love played on semi commercial to La Hilbre