Tarbiyya 15 – Importance of Good Manners

salat wa salam, O Allah, Allah May. Allah Allah He was heavy on Allah about

today in the series, we will talk about the importance of

manners of present

demeanor and good manners. Allah subhanaw taala in sort of the column, Allah subhanaw taala specifically mentioned this with regard to us online, sort of though highly said

and he said we're in Kyla poo nazeem

he said, Oh man, we were really you are on his very high standard of character, a very high standard of manners.

In a very famous Halley's livezilla salaam said, I have come to teach Paris, he said I have come to teach a class.

The purpose of my coming is to teach UCLA

The purpose of the universal asylum is not to teach theological argument. It is not to teach some dekai coffee.

It is to teach manners.

None other Hades Nebuchadnezzar, Alice Absalom said your Eman is not complete until you want for your brother. What do you want for yourself?

It's a conditional statement. He said the man is not complete until you want for your brother, what do you want for yourself?

Now question is what are good manners?

I'm not going to list specifically every single thing, but just the structure how do we decide what is good and what is not good?

Good manners is to have consideration for other people.

It is as simple as that.

Just one statement one line.

Who is the person who has the best manners, the one who is most considerate about other people.

And this is expressed in every aspect of our lives. Anytime you go into contact with another person or anytime you are in a situation where some other people might be affected, what do you do? Do you consider them you think about them or not?

When you come into the Masters Do you just walk in and stretch your Salah

not worried not concerned about whether you are blocking somebody else's way or what you are doing?

And now other people cannot pass because you are standing in the middle?

It is an issue of good manners.

Even before that when you come to the masjid where do you park your car?

It's a matter of good manners.

The very dear friend of mine bandirma Muhammad

Al mahanadi bannerghatta Muhammad in Medina.

So one day I was doing with London

and we went to the HANA.

So when the drives up, and then he works in one of the side streets.

So I told him Jeff, why don't we go inside there is parking in the harem

underground enough ammo but plenty of parking there we go Juma so we parked in the side street it's hot sun. So I said you know why? Why parking here? Why don't we go inside? Much easier to go go up into the harem? He said no, no, no. He said that is for the people who come from far away from long distances.

That we live in Medina it's our city is haraam is our house.

Believe that space for them. Let them come let them come and go inside and bark and comfort. We can walk no problem.

Imagine this is D

and this is something about the people of Athena.

g

that is manner how you drive on the road is matters how you park where you park your car is the man is matter. Where do you stand in Salah is

saved saying thank you and saying please is manner

where do you find is the most Thank you and please in the West?

In the west

not here and not in our countries.

And it is so endearing. It is so nice.

I met two year old the other day,

two years old.

For everything that was a parent's for everything. He will say please Can I have this please Can I have that? And the minute you give him anything he says thank you

manners is consideration for other people. So Rossum in one of these. And it was the way of narration of the head is that the magazine, they preserved not only the words of the Harris, but they also used to narrate the heavies in exactly the same way that was

narrated.

So, in this case, the muhandis would actually hold his tongue in his two fingers, because that is that guarantee me this thing and he held his tongue with his two fingers. And he said, I will guarantee you john

because what good manners good manners is good speech.

Good manners is good speech.

So, you got to do that. There are so many ideas. And there are so many stories from the era of Rasul Allah is Allah salams own manners

and about the manners of the Sahaba resound like la management. I'm sure we have heard all those stories. It's not my intention to now repeat all the stories, right? The question is not whether you heard the story or not. The question is, do we try to apply that in our lives?

That is

we try to apply that story in our lives.

And that's when Monica vilano was

servant of Knossos, Allah and one of his greatest have a narrated a lot of ideas from him. He had the honor, after a sorceress and and passed away until his last day, he used to see a sort of Salah Salem in his dream every single night,

every night

and this as we Malik said I served him for 10 years. And he said in those 10 years and also Raja Raja Ram did not even frown at me even once

the let alone shout at me or let alone beat me, let alone curse me. Now, I will respect that from what he said he did not even and he said I was a boy. I did many things. I will listen to him. I disobeyed him. I mean, not deliberately but you know I for whatever it was, I was involved in playing games. Not once did he say he did he even frown at me Not once. Did he even tell me I told you this. What is nothing?

Nothing.

They've been Hadassah vellano

was given to a sorceress alum as a servant by Khadija della

one day was

a young boy

young boy he had been sold as a slave in the in Makkah.

So he was given to him as a servant

as soon as he was 11 immediately freed him and he adopted him as a son. But he was talking 1000 us to 7001 day restaurant gives them money and told him go and get something

now they've disappeared and on the way he found some friends of his he got involved we're playing some game you got involved again

Adam is waiting where it is boy Bo waited for a long time. He knows it knows it. So rationalize Allah as I was lm when searching for him

so when what are the wind events that busy in his game?

So I then saw him and he gave running and there's one of them told him what happened user Oh, I forgot I'm very sorry. You got involved in the game which is okay

give me the money I will go and buy the thing.

So now they've been searching in his pockets and he can't find the money the money is gone. In the game it you know, coin must have fallen somewhere or something. So now here it is. Boy, we've been told to do something he didn't do that. He was given money to buy something he didn't buy the thing he lost the money.

What does he do? NASA told him Okay, it's no problem when you when your game is finished, come back home.

Okay.

What is the result of that? The result of it of that is a couple of years later

they've been Harrison's father and uncle. They heard that their son was seen in Makkah for this The boy was you know the the some some people attacked the caravan and they took away this boy and the soldier they didn't know they were asserting for the for the jet so they heard that his boys in Makkah so they came to get back their son and the game with a lot of money. So they came in they said they've asked around recently he's in the house of Mohammed Salah Salah. So they came there and they said to vamos Allah Salaam. They said we want to this is our son, and we want to take him back and we will pay you for this. So to

How much money you want, and you can take and have the money. And we want our son back. Now, he's not a He's not my slave. I don't need any money from you for him. And I'm very happy if you want to take him. If he wants to go with you, most probably no problem, you can take him. But I suggest you ask him first whether he wants to go with you or not. So rather the father and the uncle, they, they think to themselves, you know, what is the story? What is changing? Why would he want Why wouldn't he want to go with his own father?

Right. So there's no problem call him they called him and

said, Do you recognize people who said yes, this is my father's manga

has no mistaken identity or anything. So Rajaratnam said, they have come to take you back home. Would you like to go with them? He said, No.

He said, No.

These people are astonished. He said, You don't want to come home is no.

You want to stay here in Makkah. Yes.

And that is when the missile reserve actually officially adopted xavion hyzaar. Delano, and he took him into the into the aroma and he announced that he is my son is a bin Mohammed.

And it's only after the birth of Serato. Azov which came with where Allah subhanaw taala abolished adoption, Allah said, there's no adoption. In Islam, you can look after an orphan but the orphan remains as the son of his original biological father, and often will bear the name of the biological father, and you cannot give the orphan your name and the orphan does not become an heir in your wealth. So all of this came much later, but for many years, they've been harissa, or they used to be known as they've been Mohammed.

How did that happen? young boy working in the house doesn't even want to go back to his own parents.

manners of law.

Class

Sahaba learned his lesson so well.

There was so many cases where somebody had the among the anger of the head of the sheep was a delicacy.

So somebody would have a head of a sheep in the house, they would have started a sheep and so on. So what do they do with the delicacy with the best part? Do they eat it? No, they sell to the neighbor.

And there's a recorded incident where this head of the sheep

came back to the owner.

It came up

why because he's never kept sending it to the other never had given on fullcycle back to the owner.

I mean, I can I can literally This is a subject on which we can talk forever. But the problem is that all that document wherever will get us nowhere. We This is unfortunately the subject on which we can talk forever, but we don't follow it.

You don't follow it. May Allah protect us. Our o'clock need a lot of work.

our allies need a lot of work, how we treat our parents, our children, our wives.

how we treat our neighbors.

Very, very important. Even the Mubarak Abdullah Mr. Mubarak.

He was selling he heard that his neighbor was selling his house and neighbor was a Jewish guy.

And Abdullah Marmara heard that his neighbor was selling his house and he had quoted a price which was double the market value. Twice the market well.

He was very amused as a wise man quoting such a high price.

So some buyer prospective buyer came there and the buyer told him look house is good. But your price is twice the market value is if this you know house cost so much. Look at the houses in this area.

So why are you charging me or why are you quoting twice the market value?

This Jewish guy he says Do you know who my neighbor is? He's always whenever he's available. Mark.

He said my name is Abdullah Nicobar.

And that is why the house cost so much.

You have to pay to be the neighbor of Abdullah Omar.

Hello protect us. Today for Muslim leaves ablaze people will tank allow hamdulillah

you saved

the Hello hotel. Seriously Seriously This is a matter with regard to Serbia which we have to inculcate in ourselves. And again, as I said the first very first element on tarbiyah I said that we are is not about

upbringing of your children, there will be a is about

Bring of yourself

the children learn the manners of the parents.

And so it's not about teaching your children to say please and thank you it's about using please and think

it's not about teaching your children to do this and that it's what you're doing this and that.

And therefore, over and over today society is corrupt, not because of children, please understand very clearly society is corrupt not because of children. How many corrupt five years old and 10 year olds every fine?

How many do you find

that event plenty of corrupt 30 year olds and 40 year olds and 50 year olds and you know, 70 or 80 year old when plenty of them

very corrupt and justifying corruption

opressing the one not the kids, not the kids.

It is we are the cause of the problem is not nothing no children,

societies that is good or bad not because of children's good or bad because of people and that is why that is the reason why Russell Reiser never ran any he never ran any children's schools.

He worked on the adults. Today this also you have outsourced

upbringing to schools. Take the kid who is a school nurse the school's problem.

The molissa must come and teach my child how to read Quran I don't know how to read Quran at the age of 50 6070. And I'm not even ashamed about that. But my child will learn the Quran from Somalia naturally because like i if i don't know i can teach him

and there is no sense of shame whatsoever to him about this matter no nothing is how it should be.

And then you say my children don't respect me How will your child respect you as a child knows you are ignorant.

The child has learned about the manners of masala Salaam when he was reading his era in the in the macabre the mother sir and he comes over and he finds his father who lacks the father's

manners or the manners of Bhutan.

So, he is learning about the manner in the Mk dub and he comes over and he finds that his father behave like a wizard and the mother behaves like the female version or

whatever that is.

And you expect the child to respect you

can we shall respect

How will the child was made

we have to straighten out ourselves. change our ways change our manners, change our companions change the environment in our homes.

And then you will not have to worry about children respecting I have seen I have seen cases where Allah where the father is treated like by the children grown up children, children the Father has grandchildren great grandchildren. And the father is treated by those grown up sons like

Swamiji like like like their greatest hero.

Like their like their mercy like their pill. Like a like the greatest chef

that cannot be bought. That cannot be forced. That comes from inside. The treat the father like that because that's how they think of the Father. This is the man who dropped me for an hour.

This is the man from anything good. I learned I learned from this man.

The beautiful series on hips,

which I sent out on the group also I'm sure many of you have all of you have seen Jana. Where does this beautiful beautiful scene of this young boy

in Nigeria

might be maybe 10 years old or something. And his father walking on the beach in the in the surf. The boy is holding the hand of his father and he's doing his door office.

His father is the Imam of the masjid and he's the abbot of the Quran. And his son is learning is doing his and strolling on the beach. And the sun is important and the weather is listening to him.

Again that sun ever disobeyed that fall.

Can that sun ever disrespect the

people who have children who are disrespectful are people who forgot how they brought them up. Simple as that. No child is born disrespectful. No child is born evil nobody. They are everyone is born with good Allah subhanaw taala created as it

is what we do with them is what we teach them.

Therefore we have to change our own ways.

In the colada hula nazima data set this award is nebulous element. This should be the

I had for us as the Obamas

we must be the people with the best character

with the world looks up to, there was a time in the city in Hyderabad where people used to live where the non Muslims the Hindus used to say, Muslim man okay, but okay adopt subsidiarity

but other than that you children or Muslims or the children with best manners, people who say

we were famous for the manners of our children, others used to appreciate this

idea is not I'm not trying to you know, beat us up No, my point is that this was our situation. So, What's so difficult about changing

nothing difficult or difficult about changing it, we have to change ourselves, we have to change ourselves.

So, let us focus on this, the whole point of this service series is for us to look at all the different things that we need to focus on and bring about these changes not simply to listen to the vendors and not worry about the changes make and make a knee or make an intention to change one thing

and the best thing to begin with is to thank

so thank anyone that you receive anything good from

your wife was a servant who cooks for you something good make it a point to tell them that specifically you can afford a child care Bora mahalo

was custom

the ribbon is

damaged

something is bad then you immediately be criticized nobody has to remind us.

So start with that thank

whoever it is whatever it is,

start with that begin with thanking thank you very much you will see us you will find expressions of expressions of shock on the face of that of the other people let them be shocked no problem right

the villa falls down in a good friend in overdrive him after that. Why did you fail over you tagged me you know how would you How would example.

Thank

anybody Anyway, let's begin with that inshallah. The next day we want to please

don't just grab things

and so on and so on. We ask Allah Subhana Allah to bless us with the with the nor of the last the most beautiful, the most biggest benefit of this thing is the reward is instantaneous.

What Allah will give in general is different inshallah We ask Allah for that, but the reward of good behavior the reward of good manners is immediate. instantly. Us violent someone is wild wackadoo smiling is sadhaka imagine

smiling is saga. He said I've so salami said spirit Salam.

Salam Alaikum Salaam Alaikum che spirit Salah everywhere in the world wherever you go, greet people. spread peace spirit Salah

is to smile, Isa, but sometimes what why? Why do you want to see somebody you gotta take him to a dentist?

You know, it's like, it's good.

How can I smile, especially the ones who I, my newly religious.

Newly Muslim I called I have differences. There's a new Muslim and there's a newly Muslim.

New Muslim is the guy who just reverted. My newly Muslim is the Muslim which has discovered that he's Muslim.

So they become they become religious. They were in a disco until last night, this morning. They have the beginnings of a beard because they decided they're not going to shave. But then along with that, they have this tremendous, you know, funerary expression on their face and they were a permanent batsman under the nose.

They won't smile they won't say anything and all they are then only then only one word in the in the entire Islamic dictionary and that word is haram.

The whole of water this is the this is the

deen is to be is to suddenly become nasty.

Word is about so many people are

just used to be smiling and laughing and joking everything was nice and you know good friendly guy and approachable. Suddenly now out of the blue because he became religious now he is become an horrible monstrosity. You can talk to him You can say anything to him it was we will smile and you will give us back.

This is not the inverse. Please understand this is not the this is not the Drina Mohamed Salah, maybe God is not the universal law Santa Rosa used to smile used to laugh people used to joke with him used to joke with them.

As Abby's standing in the marketplace and this is the Navy of Allah. This is the

of the time that we stand in the marketplace, Nebuchadnezzar went and held him and he shut his eyes. And he says, Who wants to buy this slave

and the zombie moves backwards so that he's completely you know,

to get him to hug him. He's moving backwards into the body and

I see we this is the, this looks like the behavior of a key loser the behavior of the of the Rasul of Allah, Allah Allah.

But that was his behavior. Why do you think they loved him so much? Why did he Why do you think that that column did their the thing that they said after? May my mother and father we sacrificed on Arizona

they loved him that much because he was so nice to them. He was so nice to them.

And to the smallest of them.

There was a African lady who used to sweep the masjid.

And then we didn't see her one day. So he said, Where is the lady? This Arizona she died in the night and we didn't want to disturb you. So we completed everything and we buried there we got very angry said Why didn't you tell me?

He said Why didn't I just show me the grief? He went and stood on the grave and he made the offer this lady

is dead. He was not dead when he Camila she was not Arab. She was no body at all. Some poor African lady. She used to come and clean the muscles used to sweep the one that's it.

But if he was like that with her after she passed away, what must have been his behavior with that lady every day? Do you think he said Salam aleikum to her or not? How many Salam have the NaVi that one would have received?

Hmm.

Hello, honey is a Lambo

and the biggest amberlynn

so many instagramming I said, I know if I start on this, there's no end to this.

The key is to bring it into our lives

to bring these are class into our lives

that do

not just talk about them.

So especially make an effort and I said it all begins with one very simple thing which is consideration. One word, what is good manners? Good manners is consideration period.

The entire subject of good manners can be condensed into one single word and that word is consideration. That's it.

So let us try to consciously practices. Be considerate when you're driving on the road. When you're walking in the house when you're sitting or standing with people anywhere anywhere you will be let us be considerate of others. And if we

if we make a mistake, apologize immediately. There is no dishonor in apologizing, please understand it is absolutely it is the best thing to do. Because it finishes that fitna right there. If you don't apologize, and if you insist on something, it only becomes worse and worse and worse. If you apologize, it puts light puts your love and it puts respect for you in the hearts of the people who criticize do in the first place.

Immediately apologize.

And what is the what is wrong? I mean, we are not perfect. We will make mistakes. Somebody points out a mistake Alhamdulillah The matter is contained there. If that person did not point out that mistake, maybe now I would make the same mistake in front of 10,000 people. And I would become a laughingstock of 10,000 people now it haven't been 10 people I haven't really let it stay here. And what's the way of making you stay immediately why I'm extremely sorry, I apologize. Please forgive me.

Now we can go and talk to anybody else because if he talks if he tells the story, then he also has to tell the story that I apologized then people will tell him if you already apologized. Why are you telling me this?

You took the stage you took the wind out of his sails.

But if you didn't apologize that story will travel it will travel the whole world.

So good manners begin with consideration. Let us do that inshallah. And before the Nabi sallallahu Sallam in following of the sooner the sooner is not only the beard as soon as not only the head coverings as soon as not only the trouser above the ankles, all of these are important sunon when I'm saying not only does not mean that these are not important, we are not deriving them we are these are extremely important. But it is not only that, it is much more than that. Allah subhanaw taala made the whole

I also serve as an example for us and that life consists of his manners for which he said I've been sent for this to teach people manners and that was one of the bridges manners, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us a reflection of the manners of Allah seven and to make the nor of those manners to make the bark of those manners are part of our lives and to make us inshallah, examples of good behavior and good manners for others. Was that Allah Allah, Allah will Karim Allah Allah. He was happy as mine, Veronica. All right.