» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

Tarbiyya 14 – Choose Your Friends Wisely

share this pageShare Page
Mirza Yawar Baig

Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

Series:

Episode Notes

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:02--> 00:00:08

unreliable alameen wa salatu salam ala l mursaleen. O Allah Allah He was happy as many of

00:00:10--> 00:00:14

you know that we are series. Today I want to remind myself in you

00:00:15--> 00:00:17

about the importance of friends

00:00:18--> 00:00:21

and the importance of having the right kind of friends.

00:00:22--> 00:00:26

Let's around della mentioned two kinds of friends in the foreign

00:00:29--> 00:00:36

sort of work on last one that I said that the person on the day of judgment will name his friend

00:00:38--> 00:00:39

will actually name his friend

00:00:41--> 00:00:42

and will say

00:00:44--> 00:00:51

yeah, we're a lotta late Danny lamb is on holiday in Poland and his nails was

00:00:52--> 00:00:54

this aluminum foil and

00:00:55--> 00:01:01

so and so. Yeah, yeah, ye La La Tani Lum phoolan and hurried.

00:01:03--> 00:01:25

And the ad before that last one that I said that the person will bite his hand in regret in the Quran, the beautiful the beautiful description on the Quran, which describes the actual physical action when somebody you lose something and you know, that this something I should have got it as not as not as if I could never have got it, which is Oh my God.

00:01:27--> 00:01:36

You bite your hand, or it happened oh, this is that's instinctive body language. instinctive action of somebody in the restaurant said he will bite his hand until his elbow

00:01:38--> 00:01:43

with regret because he will see that on the Day of Judgment. What did I do to myself

00:01:44--> 00:02:02

and the regret is not only because of the impact of it, but because this need not have happened is that I there was no need Why did I do this? With this evolet Yeah, well at least any luck at the faithful and so one kind of friend.

00:02:05--> 00:02:16

The other kind of friend that Allah subhanaw taala mentioned is sort of the Zohar of where Allah subhanaw taala we know about the Day of Judgment where a person will run from everyone

00:02:17--> 00:02:28

his own wife, his husband, father, the mother, the children, and nobody will be will stand for anyone, it will all run for one hour.

00:02:29--> 00:02:36

But in that time, in that time, unless we have mentioned friends and unless

00:02:38--> 00:02:44

yoma is in Bardot whom live I didn't I do a lot

00:02:46--> 00:02:51

less head and CD again the issue of understanding Arabic In

00:02:52--> 00:02:55

the Arabic language there are many words for friend

00:02:56--> 00:02:58

or the word friend may word

00:03:00--> 00:03:01

zamil is also friend.

00:03:03--> 00:03:23

You know, Hollywood is also friend. Right? Zuma is the rule of zamin and Khalid is also friend and so on there's other other words as well. But Holly is a friend which is a very very close and dear friend what is also for it

00:03:27--> 00:03:39

is a very close and dear friend someone who is the closest who has you know the the you're confident and someone whose advice you take always and so on that's the person was called Le

00:03:40--> 00:03:42

and that's why I use that word in this in this

00:03:43--> 00:03:51

filler is the plural of appeal uyama ism Bardot home Lee Barden do

00:03:53--> 00:04:13

they will not only run away but they will be the enemies of one another. I do. Allah Allah who those people who were the closest friends yoma is in on this particular day bad only bad in ado, they will be enemies of each other in the head.

00:04:15--> 00:04:16

Except the motor.

00:04:19--> 00:04:19

Right.

00:04:21--> 00:04:29

Now two kinds of friends one is a friend who you will curse. So why did I have this person? My God, what did you do to me?

00:04:30--> 00:04:38

And with regret, there was no need Why did I fall into this trap? Why did I sit with these people? Why was I part of their group?

00:04:41--> 00:04:45

The regret of the Day of Judgment is the worst. Absolutely. The worst of the

00:04:46--> 00:04:56

of the punishments is his regret because that regret will be so terrible so or so amazingly bad that it's worse than the actual physical punishment.

00:04:57--> 00:04:59

And as I said that regret is because you did

00:05:00--> 00:05:07

This need not have happened. It's not that something was you know, foisted on me or inflicted nothing. I did it myself, why did I do.

00:05:08--> 00:05:22

And on the other hand, other kinds of friends, and that's what I'm saying the closest of friends will become enemies to one another, enemies to one I do, they will become enemies to one another, they won't just ignored, they will actually become enemies to one another except

00:05:24--> 00:05:35

except them with the team, and the marine will still be friends. On the day of judgment, the marine will still be with their friends, and they will still help one another and they will still be together on the division.

00:05:37--> 00:05:40

And is this is the word Allah Subhana. Allah subhanaw taala is in this

00:05:41--> 00:05:42

dilemma.

00:05:43--> 00:05:45

And that is why we need to choose,

00:05:46--> 00:05:55

we need to choose our relatives are given to us. You haven't been born in a family member other sources. But friends, we pick up on our own.

00:05:57--> 00:06:06

We make these choices and align myself when you let us make active choices. Let us consciously make choices, not just fall into a trap.

00:06:07--> 00:06:16

The whole issue of hanging out our laundry and not people, you hang our laundry on the line to dry. Not people what Hangout.

00:06:17--> 00:06:25

Time is time is an is an asset. It's a it's a disappearing asset. It's an asset that cannot be created. It's an asset which cannot be replaced.

00:06:27--> 00:06:32

And as I say, time is money time is not money. If time was money, you wouldn't waste it.

00:06:33--> 00:06:47

You don't waste we don't waste 10 bucks, you don't worry. You don't waste one rupee. If one rupee falls on the ground, do you regret it? But what about the one hour? away? I won't even say one minute because I don't think we were even conscious of that. But even for an hour.

00:06:48--> 00:06:59

What happened the last hour? Where was where it go? What did I do? What if you had died in that one hour? What if you died at the end of that 60 at second. And the last one hour was very important.

00:07:00--> 00:07:12

was very, very important, right? That one hour, supposing molecule Mark comes and is not gonna happen? Anybody but I'm saying he comes and says, Look, you've got 60 minutes, I'm gonna come back now it's five past six, I'm gonna come back at five past seven.

00:07:14--> 00:07:16

What will you do? What will anyone with the man do?

00:07:18--> 00:07:23

He will spend that entire one hour in a state of Sunday, you won't even get a builder monochromatic mistake.

00:07:24--> 00:07:29

I'm not going to lick my lip made from you know, you make that while clean up with regard everything.

00:07:31--> 00:07:35

That is the actual value, the value of that time is

00:07:36--> 00:07:37

when you don't have it.

00:07:38--> 00:07:54

What is the value of that time at that moment you die? And that's the reason why I always do I've said this many times before that my criterion which I tried to use my love Forgive me. When I make mistakes, like my criterion that I'd use is that what if I die now?

00:07:57--> 00:07:59

What if I die now?

00:08:00--> 00:08:06

Any time you want to go anywhere you want to be somewhere you want to be with somebody you want to see something or do something.

00:08:07--> 00:08:11

Before you do that, before you commit to that action. Ask yourself what if I die now?

00:08:13--> 00:08:21

Want to go somewhere? You say what if I die in that place? Seriously, as this question, you don't need anything else in your life. You do not need anything else. You know?

00:08:25--> 00:08:32

When we don't ask this question, it means that you know this whole event business we talk about is mancom. Because we don't really believe that

00:08:33--> 00:08:41

Mr. SLM, said that if you did, we will. First of all, we know Allah Subhana. Allah said in the Koran that you can die at any at any at any time, livestock

00:08:43--> 00:08:49

cannot be brought forward, it cannot be delayed when the time comes, it comes and the sorcerer assumes that you will be resurrected in that stage.

00:08:51--> 00:08:55

First question to ask you. Do you really believe this? Do you really believe Allah?

00:08:57--> 00:08:59

Or do you really believe the prophets Allah said amazing they were joking.

00:09:00--> 00:09:06

And there is a lesson simply said is just a body of knowledge as a hotaka.

00:09:09--> 00:09:28

So as seriously as is but do I really believe Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? Do I really believe Allah? tala? If the answer is yes, then ask yourself this question that this is given these two things. I am now going to such a place What if I died that this

00:09:30--> 00:09:30

then whatever.

00:09:34--> 00:09:43

I always say always when myself never challenge Allah. No challenge Allah because after knowing all of this was to go, Allah subhanaw taala has the power to kill you there.

00:09:44--> 00:09:52

Do not Do not think that this won't happen. Allah has the power to extract to send multiple modes to you.

00:09:53--> 00:09:58

When you are in that particular place. Don't think it can happen

00:10:00--> 00:10:01

Do not think it cannot happen.

00:10:05--> 00:10:09

Then maybe you're sitting and watching pornography and you drop it.

00:10:10--> 00:10:15

And when somebody comes and sees what do you also see?

00:10:16--> 00:10:18

If Allah wants to remove his cover?

00:10:22--> 00:10:23

Can I have a no

00:10:24--> 00:10:27

i'm not saying you're watching pornography, I know you're already saying there are people in the world who do it.

00:10:29--> 00:10:33

And this thing goes all over the world. So I'm speaking to more than the people in

00:10:37--> 00:10:45

the city sitting with your group of cronies and friends and you know, everyone's having a good time and everyone's having a drink and whatnot. Well, I'm not drinking I just was busy anyway.

00:10:49--> 00:10:56

You are in this club or that club? Sorry to touch all the runners but what do I do? These are reality.

00:10:58--> 00:11:13

What guarantee do you have that you will not die in that club? What guarantee do you have that you will not die in a party in that club? No matter that you are not on the dance floor, no matter that you are not in the bar. You are there in that group.

00:11:17--> 00:11:24

We must choose our friends consciously. Most parents are very concerned about the children. Ma ba ba,

00:11:25--> 00:11:27

ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba

00:11:31--> 00:11:33

ba What's our avisar

00:11:37--> 00:11:37

era

00:11:39--> 00:11:54

exactly what else? What is if the parents are good and the children never see their parents doing anything around the children see their parents you know following the account of Allah Subhana Allah and the Sunnah of them they will do the same thing

00:11:55--> 00:11:58

there is no two ways about this they will do the same thing

00:11:59--> 00:12:06

and that's why I always tell people whenever it comes to tell me you know my children the society so bad as a boss don't look at inside your house.

00:12:08--> 00:12:21

That society in any case is not in your control you can I can control what's happening on the street and I can control what's happening inside my house. So let us look at what is inside my house. Give your children a framework on which to compare what they see outside.

00:12:22--> 00:12:28

You can lock your child around in the world he goes to school he goes wherever but when he comes home

00:12:29--> 00:12:32

let him see a perceptible difference.

00:12:36--> 00:12:40

Create that framework where the children have a benchmark

00:12:42--> 00:12:54

let them bring let them bring their so called lousiest friends home tell them most welcome please bring your friends home let the child understand that a friend who he is afraid to bring home is not a friend was having

00:12:56--> 00:13:03

otherwise why are you afraid to bring your friend home because your friend is freaked out are you to bring the friend looks very cool in that environment. But when you say come

00:13:04--> 00:13:10

bring your friends home you tell this guy this guy I don't know please do I think don't come over you don't tell him that there is

00:13:11--> 00:13:29

why because you don't want to show you over and over and that that itself is a indicator to the job Believe me these these these messages are very clear. children understand very well you don't have to say just say please get all your friends home and the friends that he doesn't bring are also the friends that he will then start looking at them differently and inshallah change

00:13:31--> 00:13:47

because you have given them a solid foundation universal that's all you can do you can you cannot change the size you can change inside your house you know, obviously everyone changes inside the house inside changes. But we can change inside our own house and let's think about that and say what environment Am I giving my my my children

00:13:49--> 00:13:52

whoever comes to me what is the environment that they are that they are getting?

00:13:53--> 00:13:58

Right very important. In our homes, the word the name of Allah and the name of

00:14:01--> 00:14:18

the column of the sound of the Quran nobody hears. Many times I've asked people how many people how many wives are there who have never heard the recitation of their own husband. How many husbands are there who have never heard the recitation of their own voice? How many children are there who have never heard their mother or father

00:14:20--> 00:14:32

how many parents are there who have never heard their own children reciting Quran how many This is not this is not this is nothing you know unique or nothing strange This is the majority of the Muslims today are like this

00:14:33--> 00:14:35

never heard their own father etc

00:14:36--> 00:14:53

and you can be listening to even even the the people who listen to you know a lot of this Career Career okay but I mean your own father had do can you remember his voice? Can you recall his voice? Maybe he decided right or wrong? I'm not even talking about that. Maybe is that because was zero wonky? Forget about that. Did you hear His voice is a different

00:14:58--> 00:15:00

environment is that the environment

00:15:00--> 00:15:14

In the house is the biggest problem. And that's why I'm saying choose friends consciously choose friends wisely. And which also means that if you have landed in a situation where you have these words now from wherever, delete,

00:15:15--> 00:15:20

delete, do not retain those friendships. What is the best way to do that? Invite them towards Allah

00:15:22--> 00:15:29

best way invite them towards Allah if a friend calls you and says man Luca, we're having this New Year's Eve party No Come on, no I have another new as you come to my house.

00:15:30--> 00:15:49

So, he will come you think your usual stuff, when you when you come and sit there you know let him talk to him about the greatness of Allah subhanho data is 1111 of two things will happen either he will converge and he will become a good friend or he will say you have gone crazy sarala go am gone hamdulillah both situations, you are a winner.

00:15:50--> 00:16:04

You lost some baggage or otherwise you got a good friend inshallah, who will be with you on the Day of Judgment I think about this, we should acquire friends who are in that classification. Well as of anatella said lol Mata Ki,

00:16:06--> 00:16:12

what is the what is the the condition of a good friend would agree that he should be a mod that he or she should be a

00:16:13--> 00:16:14

must

00:16:15--> 00:16:18

must fear to displease Allah because he loves Allah.

00:16:20--> 00:16:27

That is the definition of not fear of Allah. It's the fear to displease Allah subhanho wa Taala because he loves Allah, because Allah,

00:16:29--> 00:16:40

Masha, Allah, the meaning people who love Allah subhanaw taala more than anything else. So what is the what is the Aqua turquoise to fear to displace the one that I love more than anybody's.

00:16:42--> 00:16:43

And that's when I was on a Salaam said,

00:16:44--> 00:16:52

he described the conditions of a good friend, he said, Who's asked him who's a good friend, he said, a good friend is the one who reminds you of Allah.

00:16:54--> 00:16:57

And in whose company you remember the ACA

00:16:58--> 00:17:01

and who you will learn something good from

00:17:02--> 00:17:06

three conditions. Number one, a good friend is the one who reminds you of Allah.

00:17:07--> 00:17:09

And the second condition is that

00:17:11--> 00:17:13

in his company, you remember.

00:17:15--> 00:17:22

And the third condition is that you learn something good from this person, whatever it might be, not necessarily religion, whatever good thing,

00:17:23--> 00:17:28

something good you learn from this person. These are the three conditions of a good friend.

00:17:29--> 00:17:39

And therefore I remind myself when you, I want to close with that, take these two out of the Quran, from zero to one, which is number 28.

00:17:40--> 00:17:45

And from zero to zero proof, and I think that is 67 or 68.

00:17:48--> 00:17:51

And take your friends list and compare

00:17:52--> 00:17:53

who is where.

00:17:55--> 00:17:57

And then delete, delete, delete.

00:17:58--> 00:18:17

And very, very important. final point. final point, when you finish with all the lists, look at yourself and say Where do I fit in with regard to my friends, if my friend is looking at my name on his list or list, where will my friend place me

00:18:19--> 00:18:27

in the eye where they will regret that either ever knew me or in the eye or where they see me as somebody that they should be friends with?

00:18:28--> 00:18:40

Let's not get into judging others only. That's not the idea. The idea is, let's also look at ourselves and say, Where do I fit in on this criterion of Allah subhanaw taala of who is a good friend.

00:18:42--> 00:18:46

A good friend is the one who you want to be with on the Day of Judgment who will not become your enemy on the day.

00:18:47--> 00:18:52

And who you will not regret that you ever knew this person on the Day of Judgment.

00:18:55--> 00:19:02

And that's why as I said, My can my criterion of a good friend is somebody who I want to lead myself

00:19:04--> 00:19:05

that's my other condition.

00:19:08--> 00:19:10

Always Is there somebody

00:19:11--> 00:19:20

if I say this wasn't what's happening, what's happening is a friend is a person worth spending time with. To ask myself is will I want this person to lead myself agenda

00:19:21--> 00:19:23

100 I'm very happy about lots of them.

00:19:25--> 00:19:26

Multiple choice

00:19:36--> 00:19:53

but very, very important. That is why I'm saying you know, sometimes we feel that if I apply all these criteria, I will have no friends not true. Not true. You will have friends you will have so many friends You won't believe and you and they will always the right kind of words. Not that it will become unpopular nobody.

00:19:55--> 00:19:59

No matter what you choose, you will always a friend. Whether you do it will choose shaitana

00:20:00--> 00:20:26

You will have friends, if you choose a harmony It will also offer in this equation is the kind of rent will change. That's all, you will have friends no matter where you go. So it's just a question of picking the right kind of people you will have enough and more friend nothing to worry about. But the key thing is this. Is that friend, somebody who's an asset or is it a liability, and am I an asset to my friends or am I a liability let's, let's ask this question to ourselves, what's the law and I will tell you what it was.