Parenting

Smilla Rahmanir Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala mousseline

Mohammed also lay some of it right it was set him to sleep in Morocco,

my brother and sister, we know the Hadith about southern Nigeria

where as soon as I said I'm saying that three

that when a person dies all these actions and

except three

what are the

one of them sorry.

So, children who are Salahi who are good, who are pious

second one is

knowledge that is transmitted, something of benefit which is transmitted and third is some action or charity of an ongoing kind

all these three are beneficial, because the person worked on them, the person invested in these during his lifetime

right knowledge of knowledge and action of ongoing charity is easy to understand because obviously, if you did not build the hospital, if you did not build a school, it would not be there. So, you built it there for your wedding benefit from it. So, as an audit if you are not acquired the knowledge if you are not taught the thing then you would not have got benefit. So, you acquired you taught it, but what about children?

What about children? What is our investment in our children when I say investment, let me first make it very clear, feeding them housing them giving them clothes is not an investment.

You do this also to your cat, do this also to your

any pet you have your bird right? You feed it you house it, you clean up after it. So this is not this is not necessarily

investment is what investment is investing in the intellectual, the spiritual, the mental capabilities and abilities of the child.

I want to ask you to ask yourself, you don't have to answer me I want to ask you to ask yourself, What are you doing

with respect to the investment in your children which will make them sadaqa jariya for you after you die

this is a world of cause and effect. Allah Azza wa laserLine in sunny la masa there is for Thy Will being nothing more than what he works for. So it won't happen automatically.

It will happen if we work for this.

I'll give you a couple of examples. Just yesterday I saw a beautiful example of parenting. I saw one of our there was this wedding here two days ago right? So I gave yesterday was on and which is the day after the wedding and I saw one of our sisters along with her was her daughter.

Now they were not the people who organized the wedding they were not the people who are even related to the people who got married

nothing

but those two along with of course the wedding

managers the people who did the organization of the wedding meaning the decoration and all that it is a Christian lady Macedonia

so that Christian lady and this sister of ours and her daughter they were cleaning the social hub completely cleaning the floor digging up the red tape and everything I mean that place has not looked so Clean

Beautiful work and both of them mother and daughter

the question to ask is why?

Obviously nobody's paying them

is not even their function is not even to say that okay, no, we did this function our family functions have some moral responsibility. No, I think

what is the message? What is the what is the message being taught to that little girl?

I always say this, I say this all the children listen with their eyes, not with their ear. They listen with their eyes. They don't care what you say. Until they see what you do.

We all say good things. You should never lie. You should never cheat. If you never do this, this this. Then

we do whatever we do. May Allah protect us. And the children are seeing Oh, this is daddy. He told me never lie but now he's doing something here.

This is my mom's had never taught

Anybody with an arrogant tone but this is what she's

investing in children consists of two things. One is, it's the factor of time how much time do you spend with your children? So ask yourself this question. How much time do you spend with your children

and by spending time again, I don't mean you know, like for them many of you here are business people. You have a shop the child is also sad. Your son is also a daughter also working in the shop you also there, you're sitting there eating there, this is not spending time. That's transactional.

Or you bring the child to the masjid, that child is running around somewhere, you are praying. You don't worry what is there is going out to the gym, maybe you go there, this is not this is not please understand this. This does not mean spending. This is not what goes with the with the title of spending time with children.

So remove all this.

Then what time you spend with the children it's not a question of saying both of us are at home, you are also entitled is also no

I have another friend Malaysia people.

He is the author. He is the official photographer of Arsenal, the football club.

And they live in in New Zealand.

Right now, he and his son his son is Harvard scholar. He and his son ism must be under 20 music at night. He and his son are in Germany just climbed the highest mountain in Germany being in Germany

the father isn't is an Ironman athlete as well.

From New Zealand to Germany

it's not a matter of money, you might say, well, I don't have the money to go from the people who have the money still don't do it.

I'll give you my example of no money.

All through my childhood until I came into almost finish college. My father had a standard practice. My father would bring books and he would give me the book

and all kinds of books

I'm not talking about some religious texts have in all sorts of books.

He would give me the book then he would say then he would come back after two or three days you said Did you finish the book

my father himself used to read at least simultaneous you to work sometimes see. So I always have the same habit now after after all these years. But those times so bring a book if you give me the book

so I'd say as I read the Okay, so what did you learn?

So the first time I responded after that I didn't do the same response the first time and so I told him, this is what the author is a isn't on. And I'm not asking what is the author? I read the book before you I know what the author is saying, What is your learning? What did you get from this book?

So now when I read the book, I'm reading it to the different perspective I know you want to ask me. So I read the book, we are different briefer perspective, automatically you get into the habit of taking notes because you can't remember everything.

So I started writing notes, got that habit?

No money in one hour, the book cost nothing practically, you know, few rupees those days do in India.

It's not a question of money question of then he would sit

in the evening we had his ritual in the in those very hot those days and no air conditioning or anything. So in the garden, they used to sprinkle water. And then we would sit there put a circle of chairs and five children, my father mother would sit there. And my father would recite poetry of Allama what my father knew literally, I don't know, maybe a couple of 1000 Usha

he knew the whole

ship Guajava ship was holding. And

so he would recite a buzz word. Think about this, the people sitting there

I was the oldest and at that time, I must have been 10 years old. So all the others were younger.

So you might say what kind of thing is, is you're reciting the birth of a loved one to a five year old kid? Yes.

And there was no there was no question of you know, oh, there's a little child running around here. No, you sit here. You sit here and listen. You understand? You don't understand him. But you sit here and you listen, this is the this is what is happening here. And then some of the words of ALLAH

Word is not very easy. Some of the words of Allah was poetry which were difficult my mother would

would clarify she was also a scholar. So, she would clarify those words

all this colonization having very adult conversation happening with little kids

then we will listen to the radio there is no TV or radio we will listen to the radio those days we used to get BBC and Voice of America voc

and this was the beginning of the Philistine issue. My father is today if Allah gives me the ability I want to go to Brazil and work they use a doctor physician. So, I would like to go there and work in the in the

refugee camps as a not

and he would explain so, I learned about the whole Philistine thing when I was 10 years old

50 years ago

whole evening for God then we would go inside and into the house and we would have

dinner

then he would take us me and my brother it would take us two bands to lectures now I don't mean by some magnesium thing. In our country a band was not considered to be a proper band unless it was for three hours.

If somebody gave a band for one and a half hours people would come and say Come on, those things are meant to teach

you not well today something is wrong. Are you

three hours people are satisfied. Okay, this is a proper

evening spent, they would all have they would all start after South America Asia so Asia would be around nine o'clock

after Asia band starts by the time it finishes it's around 12 o'clock

my father would take me and my brother we would go

no carpets and stuff sitting on a stone floor

on the masjid

and the other you can't move none of this is all baraka of America

seriously, I mean I'm telling you this is if we do not learn the other

of Islam we cannot succeed it's not a matter of Pakistani culture Indian culture sometimes this is the other Islam

no child is born with this knowledge they have to be taught

it is the job of parents to teach is the job of elders to teach

so very important reason I'm telling you all these stories because you know, we this is our asset, this asset is something which will benefit us after we are dead.

Children are not just about this is a this is the most valuable as our children are the most valuable asset that we have. There's nothing better than this, provided we use the asset.

If we just trash it, then what can you do that can help

so I request you analyze your time, analyze your day, ask yourself how much time am I spending with my children

create the time take them, sit with them, talk to them. And believe me that challenges you because now Okay, so now I got my child to sit here now for the next two hours, then what?

What we will do hours. You must have something to do right.

All of this is very important challenges you it develops you and it develops.

So it's very important to please pay attention to this. Take the time and as I told you it doesn't take money it just attention.

Just attention just focus on doing the right thing or doing something which is beneficial.

We ask Allah subhanaw taala to help us to raise children who are an asset to us and will become a means of southern Nigeria for us when we are gone. Well son Allah Allah Allah will vary widely. He was a member of The Godfather