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Strong Family, Stronger Ummah (Part 1)

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Karim Abuzaid

Channel: Karim Abuzaid

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Wa salatu salam ala rasulillah Chateau La ilaha illallah wa sallahu

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wa Chateau a number hamedan Abu

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lahab masa Li Sallim wa barik ala Sayyidina Muhammad in Philippines de

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la masala de sala de madera Carla Idina Mohammedan fille de

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Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayidina Muhammad in film Allah Allah Allah elomi Diem, my dear respected brothers and sisters in Islam salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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This is the first lecture in a series of three weeks inshallah, between hot water Juma and

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the lecture between Europe and Asia on Saturday,

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we'll be talking about the subject of family and children

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working to have stronger

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Muslim families. And consequently, this will lead

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to the upbringing of our children and a better way and this will make the oma stronger.

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This is actually the only way to get the oma back on track. If we begin fixing the small details in our homes.

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If what change does not come collectively, we learn this from the Quran and the sun. In Allah, Allah, you know, the fact that you are you may be unforeseen, Allah subhanaw taala will never change the condition of an oma unless they change themselves. What does it mean they change themselves that I change as a husband,

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your wife changes, and this will lead to the change in the family. And this will affect and impact the home.

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They call it a chain reaction.

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But there is no way the betterment of the oma is gonna come from the top down. It doesn't work this way. So for us, to make the condition of the Muslim oma better, we have to begin with our selves.

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I really want to

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do my best today to get to understand where the family and the children fall into once it comes to our religion.

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Because some Muslims, assume that it's optional.

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It's something that you could do. You can have a good relationship with your spouse, it's up to you. You can raise your children, good or bad. It doesn't matter that Muslims actually are under the

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impression that you have an option there.

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Actually, there is a zero tolerance.

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And one day each one of us will stand in front of Allah subhana wa Taala and we'll answer for how they handled their manner. The trust the responsibilities for

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everything fo hadiza live no Murphy, de cada sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says kulu Kumara Akuma soon.

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All of you are shepherds. shepherds meaning you're in charge of a flock of sheep. You're in charge of others. And one day you will be asked about your custody.

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Your flock. How did you manage them? How did you help them?

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Oh Hadeeth inside the Muslim Hadith madness are

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very scary.

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Carlos Allah Allah, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Mammon avidin yesterday he la hora de familia, yo Mahmoud Abbas La ilaha illa Allah Allah Jin.

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Someone that Allah subhana wa tada gives him a responsibility over a wife, a family, a community like this among your

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children. Now that person die is betraying that Amanda.

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Jelena is Halong

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meaning nogen

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Yanina, Foose winds, severe warnings regarding any negligence happening in this area. For the point I'm trying to make here is, you don't have an option. You don't have a choice. And one way or another, each one of us sitting in this room except of course, the young ones who are not mocha loving to begin with are responsible.

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If you're a wife, you're responsible for your household. If you're a husband, you're responsible for your family. And you have to live normal, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and we understand we don't have the form of slavery that was common at the time of the Prophet, even though even the slave will be asked about the responsibility that his master placed in his hand, for at the end of the day, what I'm trying to say is, we're gonna be in charge, we're going to be responsible.

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Here's what I want to do when I hope I have the wisdom and the articulation to convey this because if you really grasp this, you will understand we're the family and children fall into

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Yeah, if for any command in the Quran, and in the sun, any command you name it, do this do not do this. We're meant to protect five things.

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The scholars, they call them the five necessities.

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Without these five, no community

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No.

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No, no people. Basically, they call them a posse to share the five holistic aims of the religion of Islam. So any command in the Quran, whether it is

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whether it is recommended, whether it is permissible, whether it is dislike, whether it is haram, or in this one, you name it, we're meant to serve to maintain these five objectives. Five aims.

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Five aims.

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Number one, have woody

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number one objective is the protection of your dean.

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Why? Why the dean first

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let me ask you the simple question, why did the luck meet you and me?

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Why? Why were we created?

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So we were created for what?

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For the team?

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That means if we do not worship Allah that means we're not doing what Allah created us for. So number one objective number one goal is to protect your deen

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you have to protect the religion of your religion and the religion of your children. Surely al Jihad and Jihad was legislated in Islam to protect your deen will help

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you migrate from one place to another.

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If you're staying in a community, where you are exposed to fitna and you cannot even exercise and practice your deen you're supposed to migrate.

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You're supposed to go somewhere else where you can practice your deen.

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If it is too much fitna for you You cannot practice your deen guru Baba.

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Guru

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fine find the place where you can live your religion

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not only your religion, the religion of your children to

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find Elijah yeah you're Latina man oh you believe poem for Sakuma de coonara protect yourselves and your family from the hellfire. Alina Vitaly follow the law on how

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to teach them the religion.

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That's how you're gonna protect yourselves from the hill fire. Not only you, you and your children

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the first objective and I don't want to talk much about because I'm after one, which is the one relevant to our subject the family and children. So briefly, the first one, the preservation, the protection of your dean. Number two, the protection and the preservation of the knifes the human life.

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HIV bonus

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when a Vedic look

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while I read this verse, welcome philipe saucy hyah Tonia will Al Bab La La Quinta taco

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in kasasa, not the sauces you know the dozen

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emphasise

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if someone kills this person is to be executed.

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Alive stealing you in that criminal punishment in Islam,

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you have life,

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ally stealing your power, because quite frankly, when the killer knows that the consequence of him killing another person is him to be executed. He's not gonna do it.

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He's gonna think twice.

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If I know the punishment for me to kill, to take the soul of another human being is me to be killed, executed, and killing you, I will think twice before doing it, while a comb, filter, saucy, hypotonia, heaviness,

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heaviness, the protection of the human soul, for the accused Islam of so many tourism and all, but one la V is land is one of a kind religion, once it comes to the sanctity of the human life

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of the human life. Imagine, and we're talking about the human life, whether he is a Muslim or not. Whether it is almost as long as the person is not combatant, you don't have any ground whatsoever to take his life

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as long as he's not combat in in a declared war.

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And we say this with open mouth because the text supporters were not shying away from this. So what was the first objective of the religion? The protection of

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the number two?

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What? Enough? Leave number three, because this is our subject, number for the protection of the human intellect

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and luck.

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Why? Because the human without intellect is what

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and you will find these five things are associated with a criminal punishment in Islam.

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If a person drinks and we have an Islamic law, what is the punishment?

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flooded? Right? That's the punishment. When he smokes weed or marijuana, one of these kids are turning off these lights.

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So actually, you will find these objectives or aims are associated with a criminal punishment in Islam.

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Look at the fifth one, have done man the protection of the Will

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you go and work throughout the week, and I come and I steal your money. Is that fair? Is that just that's why there is what?

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A punishment for it? Why? Because this is the human

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the protection of the human rights in Islam, the rights of people in Islam.

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The one that I skipped which is related to our subject

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is the scholars give it three meanings.

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Even though it's one, but three meanings.

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Number one, the protection of

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innocence.

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What is the nestling Arabi the production

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of the human

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race. It's called production, right?

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reproduction

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and this

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the continuation of the humankind.

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Have you noticed?

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This is why

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in symbol where

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homosexuality is unlawful.

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Why? Because it doesn't serve that goal.

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Imagine if all mankind would go into that, well, I had to rely on to seek refuge with Allah that doesn't go this way. If all of them would go into that path, one, they call it one gender or something.

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What will happen to the human race?

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So the production that the reproduction f don't have goodness, says number one. That's important.

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And it had been it has been always like this year. Listen, we understand that we live in a country where you know the Constitution guarantees the sexual preference of people. liberty, freedom.

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But as a Muslim, you don't have to condone this. Listen, I can force you to follow my sexual preference. I am not going to do it as a Muslim. No, I will force you. I understand that. But I'm sorry, this is against the divine concept, and I don't agree with it. You go your way if this is the path that you choose to take, that is your business. But as a Muslim, I'm not gonna show tolerance. I'm not gonna say that's okay. No, it's not okay. According to Islam.

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So, this is the first one have blueness. Look at that. Number two, the protection of the lineage have been necessary danessa.

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This is why adultery is a move

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in Islam, why? Because what what does adultery do? It mixes what

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I read the F word. Over a million children born in the United States of America, they don't know the fathers.

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They don't.

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And actually, you're supposed to protect the progeny to

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wear the next up comes the progeny how these children who are born into this world, they are entitled to be born to a father and a mother.

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That's their right. Not to a girlfriend and a boyfriend.

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You see what Islam is? Brothers. I'm telling you sometimes understanding this is very important, especially we live in this era, where people throw stuff at you, Oh, you guys, you flood people for having sex with other you guys. You need to understand that there is a wisdom behind it.

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This is what is called set dog very odd that you're blocking the basically the way to a greater evil.

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There is a greater evil if you let this happen. What is going on this will lead to this. You're having children who do not know their parents.

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Is that Is that how it should be? I should come to this world as a child, say father and mother living together

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in a family committed to the relationship, not people who found themselves together for a drink and they ended up with a baby that doesn't go this way.

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The protection of the progeny. Here is another important piece, which is the protection of the honor. Again, these are all names 411, which is number three. That's where the family and the children are

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family and children. The protection of the honor what does it mean?

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Yeah, if

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adultery has been all was a shun sin.

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I tell you in the United States of America, 100 years ago, I tell you this and some of you may relate to this relationship between a man and a woman out of wedlock was Rachel

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read, go back and read

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spinall was like this.

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And we read Hadith

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abou Mama, Alonzo Muslim, Alabama. That a young man

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abroad the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam and he said Dr. rasulillah, messenger of Allah, He then leave his dinner. Imagine this. He's asking the prophet SAW Selim to give him a permission to commit adultery.

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Of course, the Sahaba the companions rebuked him for such a request.

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Rasul Allah, Allah sent him Satan, oh, no, come close.

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And he asked him the series of questions. Number one, look at this, a tallboy hair that you make.

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Would you like someone to do this to your mother?

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He said, No. He said, Well, unless also people do not like this. I mean, at the end of the day, if a person commits adultery or committing adultery with a wife, a mother, a daughter of another human being,

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that's injustice, you're committing injustice.

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And Islam doesn't promote that.

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The only way for you to have a relationship with the other gender is the declared then and so forth. For sure. Therefore,

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when we talk about family and and we talk about children, listen, we're talking about the protection of the human race. We're talking about the protection of the honor of the individuals. We're talking about the protection of the lineage that you know who you are, who is you

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Father and so forth. these are these are holistic aims in Islam.

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For this purpose, or this objective,

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you find out that Islam invited us to get married

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Shu uracil sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is addressing the youth Jamar Shara Shara, O youth minister of foreign affairs.

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If you're able to get married, you better go and get married.

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For me of Stata,

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if you're not able to,

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then fasting would help. Not cold showers like they tell you in the movies, fasting, that's the only way that can take down that sexual drive, if you have an issue with it. But really the only way to protect your chastity as a woman, or as a man, if you're able to get married, but again, when we say this, if we have to always be careful, the person has to be financially ready,

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has to be mentally ready, in my opinion. That's actually one of the most important you have to be mentally ready to handle another person.

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You know, your wife, your spouse, you have to be able to do this.

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And, of course, the physical readiness you have to be physically ready to do this.

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So when we say that we have to take this into consideration, as well. Islam spoke against celibacy

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for the Sahih Muslim, Hadith NSE family cannot be alone. three individuals came to the house of the Prophet sallallahu sallam.

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And they asked about the manner of his worship.

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How much does the prophets of Salaam devote himself in a valley?

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Imagine these three individuals. They assume that the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is not doing enough.

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And this is in itself is a big offense.

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But when they came up with such a heinous statement, they they wanted to justify it and they said what? But you know why the prophet SAW Selim is not doing enough because Allah has forgiven his past and his future sins. This is even worse. You know, it was like when you dig a hole and you try to come out and what you do is you dig deeper

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in any rate, one of them says what

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I will break the hedge with every single night meaning every night I will not sleep I'll I'll try.

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The other one says Well, I will fast every single day non stop.

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Every single day non stop. The third one said and this is the point of reference mobile Shay. He says what? I will not marry women.

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Women means children. Women means this is gonna take me away from Allah. No, I'd rather devote myself to Allah. No family, I'm not going to start a family. Rasul sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, by the way, in response, in response to the statements of the three, he got on the bobet. And he said, I have heard what these three individuals have said

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by Allah, and the most knowledgeable

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of few of who Allah is the ANA lahmacun Villa, I know what lies.

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If there is someone who knows about Allah is me.

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And I'm the most fearful of Allah. What I said to him the harsh, but look, I pray at night, and I sleep at night.

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I fast and I breakfast, and I marry him.

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And this is my son. This is my Dean. What is it from Ravi Bansal? Nettie felice, me.

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Again, I'm giving you the legislations in Islam, which encourages what the protection of these three, the protections of the reproduction and thus the protection of the lineage, the protection of the honor and the dignity of another person.

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So we said inviting people to get married if they're able to warning them against celibacy urbania like

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NASA NASA came up with it. Danny attempted our It was not really part of the teachings of Prophet Isa to them, but they came up with it.

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Islam stands firm

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is a portion

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and killing the children.

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Look those verses while at Apollo Aleta, calm, harsh yetta in la, la la, la la de comin in LA, do not kill your children for fear of poverty, do not kill your children because you're afraid that they're going to take away from your

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resources. Imagine a for my son brothers, they would ask the wives to go and get abortion, because he thinks that he cannot handle the responsibility. I'm gonna buy insurance and I'm gonna, that's exactly the sort of sister goes and gets a portion.

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All the other side, the sister doesn't want to get multiple pregnancies because she's afraid she's gonna lose her finger. Or, you know,

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she's afraid of this.

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So,

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again, FYI, Islam stands for abortion is as unlawful in Islam. Certainly,

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a portion is only permissible in Islam, if there is imminent and present danger, on the health of the mother.

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That's the only thing the doctor tells you that keeping that baby, not assuming, but the doctor tells you that keeping that baby will damage the health of the moment. Consequently, you may go ahead and do this.

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The concept of adoption yet

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again, remember we said what one of the aims is the protection of the lineage, adoption in Islam, the way that non Muslims do it is not permissible in Islam, that you go and take a baby a child and give him your last name, he cannot do this.

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And as a matter of fact, Allah Subhana Allah use the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam and his story was zeynab and

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just to draw the line, because I want to tell you something, what the non Muslims are doing now was identical to what they were doing in Jay Hillier right before Islam.

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That you go and take another child and you call give him your last name.

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And you know the story of zaytoven Harris out of the lawn,

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that somehow they was taken from his father.

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And he was brought to Makkah

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and then purchase dimple takimoto exam, relative Khadija, then he was given to the Prophet finally.

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For he used to serve the prophets Allah.

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He loved the prophets, Allah Salam so much. Imagine this his father, his father,

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found out what his son is hiding.

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He was actually told that your son is in Mecca with a man called Mohammed.

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So he came to Mecca and he asked the professor solemn, Listen, I'll give you back whatever money you need, but I want my son back.

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So the prophet SAW sometimes said to him, I have a better choice for you.

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We'll ask him, if you want to go back with you. I will give him back for free. I will not charge you anything he can go, he will be freed.

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So he was brought. So his own father physical father

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asked him to come back go home with him. He said No, well, I will not to leave this man for the world.

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I have lived with him for years and I love being around him. No.

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Look at this now Rasul Allah Allah sent them as a reward for Zane. He says what from now on your name is Zaid Mohammed.

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Allah did not agree to that.

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No,

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only him who our software in the law for lm Talamo ABA home 31 d nuamah d.

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No, call them after their parents lineage. Because remember, one of the aims is the protection of the lineage you can have any adoption in such a manner with what mess up

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mess up the lineage shader. So Islam

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Listen,

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don't misunderstand me here. I'm not talking against taking care of orphans and all of that are so subtle and set up an hour carefully at me.

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I am and the one who take care of orphans will be like this engine

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left

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See, you can give them your name, they have to keep their names. And once they reach a certain age, they cannot be exposed to your Muharram.

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Any, if the boy is little, he can maybe mix with your family but once he reaches a certain age reaches his manhood the age of puberty, we say, then it's time to separate because he can marry your daughter.

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Technically, he is not a Muslim to your wife, technically. So Islam in carries is taken care of people who are Yani not having a family. But with certain guidelines, that's the point I'm trying to make. Islam stood firm against adultery,

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adultery,

00:30:50--> 00:31:02

there is a punishment in adultery. That is why because it violates the honor of another human being, it could lead to the production or

00:31:04--> 00:31:06

the production of children out of wedlock.

00:31:08--> 00:31:09

There is a lot of damage there.

00:31:10--> 00:31:27

And of course, slandering and so forth. Therefore, Islam also promoted the institution of marriage, and set guidelines for it, how to get married and all of this inshallah

00:31:29--> 00:31:30

in five minutes, I'll be done.

00:31:32--> 00:31:46

And this is the initial start for the series, ignite and extreme I will be giving the hotbar on this subject, and also hopefully, Saturday inshallah, and we're gonna try to also have

00:31:47--> 00:31:51

a barbecue for you, if this is inviting inshallah.

00:31:54--> 00:31:55

Yes, what?

00:31:56--> 00:31:59

So the purpose of your family,

00:32:00--> 00:32:03

the purpose of you and your wife being together.

00:32:04--> 00:32:12

Beside the fulfillment of your needs, emotional, sexual, whatever you want to name it

00:32:14--> 00:32:16

is really children.

00:32:19--> 00:32:26

You and your family, you and your wife are together, if you want to serve the Dow for the next generation.

00:32:28--> 00:32:30

And this is the impact that you wouldn't have in your mom.

00:32:32--> 00:32:35

And I see a lot of youth here.

00:32:37--> 00:32:48

This is why the Sharia and again, the word Sharia is alarming to some of you. But when we say Sharia, we mean the religion. The religion is the Sharia, the Sharia is the religion.

00:32:50--> 00:32:54

The religion of Islam, interfered with your choice

00:32:56--> 00:32:57

of a spouse,

00:32:58--> 00:32:59

you don't have a choice.

00:33:01--> 00:33:03

By let's talk about the brothers.

00:33:04--> 00:33:10

A woman is seeked in marriage because of four incentives, for reasons

00:33:11--> 00:33:18

that should invite you. Number one, the physical beauty. And by the way, don't ignore this

00:33:19--> 00:33:24

list. Listen, don't misunderstand me. If you need someone that you feel attracted to,

00:33:25--> 00:33:32

you should look for that. There is nothing wrong with that physical beauty to

00:33:33--> 00:33:34

her wealth.

00:33:36--> 00:33:41

You may say indication that she's going to be working, you know, she's going to earning, she's going to earn some

00:33:43--> 00:33:45

free lineage, her family.

00:33:47--> 00:34:00

A family is always an indication for the title because at the end of the day, brothers, you know, that family is going to be the grandfather's of your children, the uncles of your children, whether you like it or not.

00:34:02--> 00:34:08

So if you go and marry someone from a family that is involved in drugs, your kids probably are going to be exposed to

00:34:10--> 00:34:16

some drug dealings from one day because that the uncles and

00:34:18--> 00:34:21

for the dean, the religion

00:34:22--> 00:34:23

so what was number one?

00:34:25--> 00:34:27

beauty to

00:34:29--> 00:34:41

money, three, lineage. And sapan allowed the lineage comes the green cardia because of the journey, you go and marry somebody who's American. So normally she would give you the green card if you're not the resident. Yeah.

00:34:42--> 00:34:46

And then comes in number four. Louis, the dean now

00:34:48--> 00:34:56

from forbidden to Demeter you better if there is a compromising here. Don't compromise the dean.

00:34:58--> 00:34:59

Don't

00:35:00--> 00:35:05

compromise the beauty, compromise the wealth, maybe the lineage, but not the

00:35:07--> 00:35:15

Why? Because practically before you choosing a wife for yourself, you're really choosing a mother for your children.

00:35:17--> 00:35:23

That equity tell you tarbiyah the upbringing of children in Islam begins before marriage.

00:35:24--> 00:35:35

That if you want to talk about upbringing, bringing up your children, therapy, therapy, you know what the term therapy is, in Islam, it starts before marriage, actually, when you go and choose your wife,

00:35:36--> 00:35:38

because this is the woman who will raise up the children

00:35:41--> 00:35:41

of

00:35:42--> 00:35:43

one of the schoolers

00:35:44--> 00:35:48

from the Quran and fabula His name is I will ask her to do it.

00:35:49--> 00:35:50

Someone who

00:35:53--> 00:35:58

actually asked him to come up with the grammars for the Arabic language when the Arab started having,

00:35:59--> 00:36:02

you know, problem with pronunciation.

00:36:03--> 00:36:20

He called up one of his children one day and he said to them, the following my children, I was good to you before your birth and after your birth. So the children looked at them and said, Father, we understand how good you were to us after we were born. But what did you mean before our birth? You know what he said to them?

00:36:24--> 00:36:27

I have chosen a mother for you that you brought off.

00:36:29--> 00:36:32

I was thinking about you when I chose my wife

00:36:34--> 00:36:34

for

00:36:36--> 00:36:52

the Sharia interfered with your choice of a spouse for you, once it comes to the choosing a husband for your daughters. And again, FYI, the Sharia is addressing the guardians because a woman should not give herself in marriage.

00:36:56--> 00:36:56

About what

00:36:58--> 00:37:07

Yeah, choosing a husband right here. Yeah, choosing a husband Here it is. Rasul salatu salam, a similar paddy fields.

00:37:08--> 00:37:46

Howdy fabby hora de la Juan. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, either j aku. Mentor Luna who Luca who were Dina faza. Who do a lot of Alberta COVID-19 Florida, Southern Kenya, if someone comes to you proposing to your children to your daughters, again, but I want to focus on something here because a lot of the brother Brother emailed me yesterday. I think they were [???]. Can you get a woman married? There is a sister who want to get married to a brother. But her family does not want that marriage. Can you get them married? No.

00:37:48--> 00:37:48

No.

00:37:50--> 00:37:52

The father has to be consented.

00:37:54--> 00:38:11

It's a mutual. Also, I want to I want to stress this the father cannot force the girl to marry too. It's it's a mutual decision between the two. But you cannot take that right away from the Father. How do you feel as a father when you find out that your daughter got married yesterday? With it without you knowing?

00:38:12--> 00:38:14

How do you feel about that?

00:38:15--> 00:38:17

You just found out that your daughter got married.

00:38:19--> 00:38:54

Listen, there is a process. If this father is stubborn, and he doesn't want to give his daughter in marriage for other reasons than the religion then there is a way to go to take the guardianship from him and move it to someone else there is a way to do it in our little Amish Michelle does not permanent is not a capital punishment here. Jani if the shift Why Why don't you want to give your daughter in marriage this guy or because he prays five times? No, I'm sorry. You know you know what, you don't deserve to be her guardian because that's the type of person that you should look for.

00:38:57--> 00:39:30

There is a way what I'm trying to say is there is a way to transfer that right from him to another person in the family but initially just to ignore him and and and walk on him no you cannot do this and that's why the Sharia is addressing the same opponent avana Hulu, Edina if someone comes to you proposing to your daughter's and you please with to his Hulu, his character and his Deen so those are the two things those who are asking Hulu

00:39:32--> 00:39:32

religion

00:39:35--> 00:39:36

and sometimes if

00:39:38--> 00:39:51

you may if you Yani, if you end up with someone who has good character and good geen, you could actually break the norm, the norm that the man proposes to the woman.

00:39:52--> 00:40:00

You can actually go and ask, you know, why didn't you come and marry my daughter? You shouldn't be doing that. And unless you're certain that this person

00:40:00--> 00:40:08

is not going to Danny abused this. But we have the story of loser ra salatu salam when he went to Medina

00:40:10--> 00:40:23

in new de deux unki, haka, Natalia, I'd like you to marry one of my two daughters. I promise to finish in five minutes and it's been 10 already.

00:40:25--> 00:40:29

But let me get through another promise maybe another three minutes.

00:40:30--> 00:40:35

Yeah, if we take it for me, and I'm going to make this the initial stop for the next lecture.

00:40:37--> 00:40:38

For you

00:40:39--> 00:40:40

to bring up

00:40:41--> 00:40:45

a Muslim child who loves his Deen

00:40:46--> 00:40:47

loves his identity

00:40:50--> 00:40:54

loves Islam. In a non Muslim society.

00:40:57--> 00:40:59

Being a minority,

00:41:01--> 00:41:11

you need three functioning institutions and underline the word functioning. You may have the institutions in place, but they are not functioning.

00:41:13--> 00:41:21

human need three functioning institutions. institution number one, the one that we addressed already, which is

00:41:22--> 00:41:24

the Muslim home

00:41:26--> 00:41:36

a husband and wife are working for the children not fighting over Kmart and super fresh or whatever it is King soopers

00:41:37--> 00:41:41

did the child memorize his version of the Quran today, he pray

00:41:43--> 00:41:50

she's been doing that we should take her focus on the goal, function functioning

00:41:51--> 00:41:56

husband and wife who understand that marriage is not fun all the time.

00:41:58--> 00:42:08

Unfortunately, we're brought up in a culture where they teach you marriages what I said remember these days what they used to you know that 30 episodes normally

00:42:10--> 00:42:22

a man and a woman are trying hard to get married and then some guy jumps in. But here's the interesting piece, the 30th episode they see and they lived happily ever after. There is no such thing.

00:42:23--> 00:42:32

Marriage is a very challenging institution. Imagine the head of this believe in the face of this earth or even after your marriage.

00:42:34--> 00:42:39

Every single day shy upon crowns a genie who separated the husband and wife.

00:42:42--> 00:42:44

Marriages marriage sure, for

00:42:46--> 00:43:00

sure you're feeling in shape in Elgin, but it's a very challenging institution, you need to be very patient and that's why you need the religion as a factor to help in that. So this is number one, number two msgid

00:43:02--> 00:43:10

but in America, quite frankly, that concept of MSC is not sufficient in America, the concept of a community center

00:43:12--> 00:43:15

where your children can come play, have fun.

00:43:17--> 00:43:24

You know a lot of people are a lot of Muslims are spending a lot of money and minarets, nice minarets.

00:43:25--> 00:43:28

But that's not going to serve the needs of the youth.

00:43:29--> 00:43:30

In this part of the world,

00:43:31--> 00:43:45

you need to create it's very unfortunate that attraction should be that you come to the masjid to pray to observe the salon. It's very unfortunate but really you need to create more attraction for the youth to come to the masjid otherwise we're gonna lose them.

00:43:47--> 00:43:48

So a Masjid With what?

00:43:50--> 00:44:03

The concept that we have here in the community center, playgrounds, activities with your kids can come kids are not going to be attracted to massage, just exclusive massage. They are not

00:44:04--> 00:44:10

come and set in no masala. No. I'd rather go and run and have some fun and so forth. Number three,

00:44:12--> 00:44:13

the school

00:44:14--> 00:44:15

education.

00:44:18--> 00:44:26

I understand that I may be harsh on some of you tonight when I address this subject because I understand that the majority of you have your kids in public school.

00:44:28--> 00:44:33

But I want to tell you something. This is a crazy decision.

00:44:34--> 00:44:36

And I may be harsh.

00:44:37--> 00:44:42

Listen, there are some cases. I will not

00:44:43--> 00:44:44

argue this

00:44:45--> 00:44:51

that you may ended up with a good child going to public schools. You may have

00:44:52--> 00:44:57

bought on the Friday for a Chevrolet for Sally. This is abnormal.

00:44:59--> 00:44:59

The normal

00:45:00--> 00:45:03

Is all these kids are what gets messed up?

00:45:06--> 00:45:27

A lot of the brothers when you bring that subject up with them says, Chief Why? Why would you go and spend money on Islamic schools, or Islamic education or all of this? When they do not teach religion and public schools, there is a separation between church and state and America. I tell you, I'm sorry. They teach religion and public schools.

00:45:28--> 00:45:30

They do teach a religion, you know what? Religion,

00:45:32--> 00:45:32

no religion,

00:45:34--> 00:45:35

no religion.

00:45:36--> 00:45:38

They teach to religion.

00:45:39--> 00:45:54

So here you are teaching your kids at home that there is a God that man was created from Adam and Eve. And they are learning a whole set of other curriculum out there is,

00:45:55--> 00:45:57

is it's totally against the current

00:45:59--> 00:46:01

you're teaching your children chastity.

00:46:03--> 00:46:10

I don't know if you're aware of this or not. But and I'm sorry, I may be offensive to some of you and in my language.

00:46:12--> 00:46:16

A girl who's a virgin in public schools is a sign that she's not beautiful.

00:46:18--> 00:46:23

That's the culture. If you have not smoked a joint at a certain age, people look down at you.

00:46:25--> 00:46:32

This is the environment that they are dealing with. This is the pressure they find themselves under

00:46:33--> 00:46:35

let me ask you this honest question.

00:46:36--> 00:46:39

Who introduced homeschooling in the United States of America

00:46:41--> 00:46:41

who

00:46:43--> 00:46:43

come on who

00:46:45--> 00:46:47

devoted Christians

00:46:50--> 00:46:52

devoted Christians?

00:46:54--> 00:46:59

They believe that this public school system is taken away their kids from what?

00:47:01--> 00:47:24

From their religion, now you name it, you can put a space there for the school. Fair inshallah. We will shed more light on these three institutions and how to build them up. be delighted Allah. Next, what are next lecture between later, we're gonna focus on some

00:47:25--> 00:47:32

means to reform our Muslim homes. I understand that some of you are not married yet.

00:47:33--> 00:47:38

That's good news. And if you're not married, yet, you still have a chance for a good start.

00:47:40--> 00:47:47

But what about the brothers who are married the sisters who are married? Am I asking you to go home and dissolve that marriage and start over?

00:47:49--> 00:48:05

Let's find a way that we can fix this and reform this inshallah. This is our next talk with Elijah I look forward to it. Hopefully I'll be feeling better. And inshallah we'll see you Jasmine lo hayleigh. And the Lost Planet Allah

00:48:06--> 00:48:09

Subhana. Allah Mohammed Ashleigh Layla Helen stuff, Roberto Blake.

00:48:11--> 00:48:12

Yeah, let's have questions. inshallah. Go ahead.

00:48:14--> 00:48:15

Yes.

00:48:19--> 00:48:37

Say, what advice do you give to the parents, if their child, their son or daughters are in high school, but 100 of their religious, they know what's wrong, what's wrong, and they're prepared to get married. But parents is that noise?

00:48:39--> 00:48:45

finish high school, finished college, go to university, work in a make your own house.

00:48:49--> 00:48:53

You see, it's a big brother is bringing up a very

00:48:54--> 00:48:58

serious issue in America.

00:49:00--> 00:49:15

Parents are trying to transfer their cultural practices. Here. This is the ideal path and a typical Afghani Egyptian Pakistani Muslim community

00:49:16--> 00:49:17

as a whole.

00:49:19--> 00:49:27

But now, these children, these youth, these teenagers are exposed to too much fitna

00:49:28--> 00:49:32

who said that you have to have a house and a car

00:49:33--> 00:49:34

to start the family.

00:49:35--> 00:49:38

People start the family in one room.

00:49:39--> 00:49:42

I understand that there is a minimum that you should not compromise.

00:49:44--> 00:49:47

But I tell you something, if you see your child physically ready,

00:49:49--> 00:49:50

mentally ready.

00:49:52--> 00:49:57

Financially ready. Right away. You should pursue their marriage

00:49:58--> 00:49:59

and that culture of

00:50:00--> 00:50:07

finished high school. I think a good luck I mean, Mr. Bhalla in Egypt, that's the word that we use.

00:50:08--> 00:50:12

What's the word here in English is? secure your future?

00:50:14--> 00:50:20

secure your future? What What is the deal on securing your future when you're losing your deen?

00:50:22--> 00:50:24

And the question that you raised

00:50:26--> 00:50:29

is associated with a religious ruling in Islam.

00:50:31--> 00:50:34

What is the ruling regarding marriage?

00:50:36--> 00:50:37

Do you have to marry

00:50:39--> 00:50:43

the answer to this question if you are exposed to fitness,

00:50:45--> 00:51:05

the opposite gender and you cannot protect your chastity you have to get married, it becomes mandatory upon me upon you to get married. If you're able to, through patience through fasting, whatever means that you're able to then it becomes recommended

00:51:06--> 00:51:16

it is haram in some cases to get married, if a person is unable physically unable, you know to to become responsible.

00:51:17--> 00:51:34

But know if your child is ready physically, mentally, mentally, there is a level of maturity there that they can handle a family. Certainly protect them. Let them have that relationship in Hillel.

00:51:35--> 00:51:43

Why do you force them to stay in that haram environment and be exposed to fitna day in and day out?

00:51:45--> 00:51:48

That doesn't make any sense. It does not know.

00:51:50--> 00:51:51

Other Yes.

00:51:55--> 00:51:56

Christian

00:52:01--> 00:52:02

life?

00:52:08--> 00:52:09

homeschooling you mean?

00:52:12--> 00:52:13

The brother is asking

00:52:14--> 00:52:17

Muslims homeschooling their children.

00:52:18--> 00:52:23

You see, for you to be able to do this, you need to have a PhD at home.

00:52:24--> 00:52:26

Or at least, you know,

00:52:29--> 00:52:33

you see the problem with a lot of their parents. And

00:52:34--> 00:52:36

in our community in particular,

00:52:37--> 00:52:38

the lack of education.

00:52:40--> 00:52:43

The parents themselves are having a hard time learning

00:52:46--> 00:52:59

themselves learning about English about American. So they, it's really hard. It's that's why you need a community spirit where people can come in and offer solutions.

00:53:01--> 00:53:09

And meanwhile, and that's the issue that we're facing here. Meanwhile, they cannot afford $500 tuition to

00:53:12--> 00:53:13

say

00:53:14--> 00:53:27

no, I'm talking about if they cannot homeschool because of their educational, you know, background because if for you to homeschool your children, you need to know what math is what language artists, what sciences.

00:53:29--> 00:53:31

Yeah, but you need to at least have an idea.

00:53:33--> 00:54:00

A lot of I'm talking about a lot of the parents that we have here in our community didn't even go to school, especially the from the refugee community. So now so themselves, they cannot homeschool. Add to this, their income is not strong enough to pay an Islamic school $500 tuition, whatever the tuition is. So that's where you find yourself between, you know,

00:54:01--> 00:54:10

having to make these choices and this is where we always encourage the community to work together to find solutions.

00:54:12--> 00:54:13

A Claudia? Yes.

00:54:19--> 00:54:20

Yeah, like I said,

00:54:24--> 00:54:26

Well, like I said, homeschooling is an option.

00:54:27--> 00:54:41

Now if you cannot afford it, then Islamic schools, if you cannot afford it, then you're left with public schools. You're left you have no choice really. You don't have a lot of choices.

00:54:42--> 00:54:43

And

00:54:44--> 00:54:48

we were hoping that this Betsy, what's her name?

00:54:49--> 00:54:51

You know that big of

00:54:52--> 00:54:59

of Trump because Trump is a die hard for this or not Trump but the Republican in particular, they want

00:55:01--> 00:55:18

To give privilege to the Christian communities and with the Christian communities will come on board so this woman hopefully she will come up with a formula for us to because in other states and I don't know if you're familiar with this or not like in New Jersey and these other states they offer vouchers

00:55:20--> 00:55:33

like if you don't want to take your kids to public school like in Florida, if you don't want to take your kids to public schools, then they give you a subsidy to to take your child to Islamic school but we don't have this in Colorado.

00:55:34--> 00:55:35

Unfortunately,

00:55:36--> 00:55:38

that's where you're left with with a

00:55:39--> 00:55:46

few choices to make but hopefully inshallah will will, will allow will offer us something soon inshallah demon

00:55:47--> 00:55:48

Jazakallah Hara

00:55:50--> 00:55:56

barakallahu Mashallah. We will see you next week in sha Allah Subhana Allah Allah Allah stuff